'The Decision of My Life': Part 3

[0] Previously on the Daily.

[1] Hello.

[2] Hi.

[3] How are you?

[4] A year ago, my colleague Lindsay Garrison started telling the story of N, a teenager in Afghanistan, whose family was trying to force her to marry a member of the Taliban.

[5] They want to give me to a Taliban in case they think if I got married with the Taliban, then the Taliban will not kill or, you know, they will not be a danger for us.

[6] But I can't.

[7] She resisted.

[8] And now every day they're beating me. At the first, my father beat me and then my brother.

[9] And when they abused her, she attempted to take her own life.

[10] You'd rather die than...

[11] Yeah.

[12] That's it.

[13] Eventually, she escaped.

[14] But when she tried to leave the country and come to the U .S., I just got and used that I can't go.

[15] Her case was rejected.

[16] Legally, I can't go.

[17] So she remained in Kabul, in hiding, fearing the Taliban would find her.

[18] How stupid was I that I, you know, I think that, okay, my life would change.

[19] Nothing was like a miracle.

[20] I was wrong.

[21] Today, what happened next in the story of N?

[22] It's Thursday, October 13th.

[23] told you that it's hard for a girl to leave alone in Afghanistan.

[24] Like, Taliban are in there and I don't have brother now, I don't have father now, and I don't have mom now.

[25] So I'm alone.

[26] And in Afghanistan, to be alone is too hard.

[27] Like, no one allows someone to leave alone.

[28] You know, a girl?

[29] And I was thinking that, oh, what would you?

[30] should I do now?

[31] I don't know.

[32] After N found out that the State Department refused her evacuation request in the winter of 2021, she tried to make a new life, living on her own in Kabul.

[33] She took a job working with the organization that sheltered her when she left home.

[34] And now it was N, helping provide shelter and other necessities to Afghan women and families in need.

[35] And would go on these deliveries, handing out stipends for food, rent, even heat in the cold winter.

[36] But as she walked along the snowy streets, moving from family to family, she noticed the city was starting to change.

[37] I walked and so it was snowing.

[38] And I looked at one side of the road.

[39] There was a man who was writing in a paper and then Taliban put the gun on his head and yelling on him that, what are you right?

[40] What are you doing like this?

[41] And everywhere, I'm watching something, you know.

[42] All around her, she was seeing the Taliban put new restrictions on people, especially women.

[43] There is a new ministry of Taliban.

[44] The Taliban turned the country's ministry of women's affairs into the office for the religious police.

[45] They told her taxi drivers to not allow the girl who's allowed to enter on taxi.

[46] Women were forbidden from traveling longer distances alone.

[47] Unless accompanied by a male relative.

[48] They do not allow the girls to go along with somewhere.

[49] Women in cars were frequently stopped.

[50] A case happened in Kabul, that girl.

[51] She come from the wedding of her friend, and then the Taliban kill her.

[52] I have lessened one story.

[53] They beat one girl.

[54] Women's dress fell under more scrutiny.

[55] Because she wears jeans.

[56] An N started taking precautions.

[57] In every checkpoint, in every road, they're stopping.

[58] She wouldn't leave the house without hiding her face with a Kogan mask.

[59] I'm changing my clothes three and four times just because...

[60] If she had to leave multiple times a day, she would be sure to change her clothes each outing so the Taliban wouldn't recognize her and become suspicious of her movements.

[61] On the morning, I wake up from sleep and I saw that there were around 35 Taliban.

[62] One day, the Taliban searched ends building, knocking on doors.

[63] And they came for searching for someone or something.

[64] She avoided them.

[65] But if they had caught her, she feared what would have happened.

[66] Yeah, it's not allowed from their side.

[67] A girl leave alone.

[68] These things make me so scared.

[69] Yeah.

[70] And while the walls closed in, it felt to end like the world wasn't paying.

[71] attention.

[72] We are coming on the air because the war in Ukraine...

[73] It was the winter of 2022.

[74] Russia had just invaded Ukraine.

[75] As Russia's invasion of Ukraine enters its seven days were on this new war, not the end of an old one.

[76] Russian president Vladimir Putin, after a man of shelling from Russian separatists.

[77] You know, for the world, last day was Afghanistan and another day's O 'Kray.

[78] And maybe another day will be another country.

[79] It's only like for them, just a story, but I face every moment of it.

[80] Like Afghanistan has left the world's attention.

[81] Yeah.

[82] No one care about it.

[83] Nothing is going to change.

[84] Nothing.

[85] Nothing.

[86] Hi, how are you?

[87] I'm sorry that I haven't answered your message.

[88] Today, Taliban catch me and I was in this Taliban station for almost two hours or maybe, yeah, I wasn't there.

[89] After nearly three months of living on her own in Kabul and message me to say that the worst -case scenario had happened.

[90] She'd been detained by the Taliban.

[91] As soon as I could, I called her.

[92] Actually, we went to for a survey, the new cases that we had, and to meet them from their own homes.

[93] She explained to me that she had been out visiting several Afghan families, delivering rent and food stipends to them.

[94] And she was working that day with a young man who had fled his village in Kandahar province and was now in hiding again.

[95] We take a taxi for going to another's family's home.

[96] The two of them were on their way to the second family on the list.

[97] When there was a checkpoint.

[98] They saw a Taliban checkpoint.

[99] And they stopped our car and they asked from the driver that who are they?

[100] And from where you are coming.

[101] And then the Taliban looked at the boy on backseat and he asked, who are you?

[102] And figured the Taliban suspected they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

[103] So they quickly made up a story.

[104] I said, we are family friends.

[105] I was going to my aunt's home, so there was no one with me. So for that reason, my father said, go with him.

[106] And the Taliban opened the door and take the hand of the boy and push him out of the car.

[107] And then he just slapped the boy who was with me. So I scared.

[108] And I come out from the car and I said, leave us.

[109] Then he said, bloody woman, go and sit on the car.

[110] I said, why?

[111] Then he yelled on me and he pointed the gun on me and said, I said, go and sit on the car.

[112] She got back in the car and then quickly and very discreetly tipped off one of her coworkers that they were in trouble.

[113] I just delete my WhatsApp.

[114] Then she started deleting all her pictures.

[115] All photos of myself.

[116] Her videos, her phone.

[117] phone numbers, all her messages from her phone, so the Taliban wouldn't discover them and then find out who she was.

[118] And then we reached to the station.

[119] And her co -worker were then driven to the Taliban police station.

[120] After that, we entered to the office.

[121] There was, you know, around 25 or 13 Taliban on there.

[122] When everyone's hand, there was a gun for everyone's.

[123] At the station, an officer started interrogating N. Why you were in one car with that guy?

[124] Who is he?

[125] And she tried to explain herself.

[126] He said, shut up, bloody woman.

[127] Don't talk.

[128] Then everyone was walking, you know, in front of me, and everyone was looking at me, and everyone was whispering.

[129] Anne looked around her.

[130] She was the only woman in the station.

[131] Like all of them was looking like, you know, the dog is looking at the meat.

[132] Everyone, you know, everyone was looking at me like this.

[133] And I just, when I look to their faces and then I start crying.

[134] You know, one told it, you know, loudly said that she's not human.

[135] She's not a woman.

[136] she's a bitch like this.

[137] And couldn't call any of her contacts.

[138] So instead, she kept repeating a prayer.

[139] Please save me, please save me. Please save me. Please save me. I was just repeating that one.

[140] Please save me. Please save me. And then a text popped up on her phone.

[141] It said, call me. It was End's aid worker.

[142] The aid worker told the police that they had mistakenly arrested to charity workers who were providing rent money to Afghans who couldn't afford it.

[143] After that, he laughed and he said, why you haven't told before that?

[144] And he said, you're working for helping food for pupil?

[145] I said, yes.

[146] And he took my name.

[147] You're this person?

[148] I said, yes, I am.

[149] Then he said that, okay, okay.

[150] Then he went out.

[151] And after that, he come and he said, you can go.

[152] Both of you can go from there.

[153] They released both N and her coworker.

[154] But to end, it was too close to call.

[155] You said that you gave them your name.

[156] Did you give them your real name?

[157] Yes, yes.

[158] Does that worry you that your name is out there?

[159] Yeah, I'm afraid if, you know, if by any reason they catch me or then there will be no way that, like, it was my luck this time.

[160] They released me, but another time, what did I do?

[161] I'm afraid of this thing, and I'm thinking too much about it.

[162] Being detained that day made End think about a story her mom used to tell her growing up.

[163] Yes, many times she repeat that story from me. Her name was Nahed.

[164] Back in the 90s, En's mom said she knew a girl named Nahed.

[165] They went to the same school and ends that her mom would often recall how beautiful and intelligent Nahed was.

[166] There was a group of boys and they come on.

[167] But then one day, a group of men came into the apartment building where Nahed lived.

[168] They just tried to rape her and she just...

[169] The story goes that they threatened to rape her and to escape.

[170] She jumped out of a high window.

[171] Yeah, she just jumped from the building.

[172] Whenever Anne's mom would tell her this story and was left feeling confused Why she had done?

[173] Why she wouldn't fight?

[174] Why didn't she fight?

[175] Why she had an suicide?

[176] Why she jumped?

[177] Why she haven't fight?

[178] But when I saw there was more than 25 fans, I just told to myself that she was right because you are a girl and you doesn't have that power.

[179] Yeah.

[180] After being detained by the Taliban and feeling so powerless.

[181] Now and understood why Nahi did what she did.

[182] I don't have a fear from dying.

[183] I have a fear for my, like, for a girl.

[184] Like, the rape, the rap is baddest thing for a girl.

[185] And after, when I went to station, after that, I have put one thing on my back.

[186] It's for shaving.

[187] Oh, a razor?

[188] Yeah, I have used that before for cutting my hand.

[189] Yeah, I have put one packet of it on my bag.

[190] Because, you know, like, for me, I have to leave these almost three months alone.

[191] And I accept aloneness.

[192] I will not allow someone to do anything wrong with my right, the right that I have.

[193] Yeah.

[194] N knew now that if she was forced to make the decision, she'd make the same one as Nihid.

[195] So for that reason, I just put that one on my bag.

[196] End grew more and more desperate to leave the country.

[197] She thought it was only a matter of time before the Taliban found her.

[198] She had a humanitarian parole application in with the U .S. government, but she had no idea when they would process it.

[199] So she decided to take a bus to Pakistan.

[200] But in April, the day before her bus would have departed, she got other news.

[201] Hi, Ann.

[202] Hello.

[203] Hi.

[204] How are you?

[205] Super happy.

[206] Good.

[207] What happened?

[208] I'm going to Qatar, maybe in this Wednesday.

[209] Wow, Wednesday.

[210] That's so soon.

[211] Yeah.

[212] Katari officials had heard of end story, and they granted her a temporary visa.

[213] Yeah, it's so, you know, I cannot stop my smile.

[214] You know, I destroy all my dreams, everything.

[215] And now I can see a little shine on my lawyer dream.

[216] And that's awesome feeling.

[217] Yeah.

[218] I'm happy that I'm alive.

[219] We'll be right back.

[220] Do you know what time on Wednesday the flight leaves?

[221] In morning.

[222] Wow.

[223] So you really have, you have Monday and Tuesday.

[224] Yeah.

[225] I have two days.

[226] I have to do a lot of things.

[227] In two days, N would board a flight for Qatar, where she would wait while the American government.

[228] government assessed her parole claim.

[229] But before she left, she wanted to see her family one last time.

[230] She knew it wouldn't be easy.

[231] She hadn't seen her dad since the day she fled their home.

[232] And the last time she tried to see him, he didn't show up.

[233] She figured he was angry with her.

[234] Like every time when I saw my mom, I went on there with that home that I could see my father also but he didn't accept seeing me hug me or forgive me so you hope he kind of accepts you do you think he will um i don't know i wish you know one day you will think again that uh his daughter is drunk you know me his daughter i'm strong i'm strong the night before her flight to Qatar and arranged to meet her family for dinner it was Ramadan and so they would break fast together and went out and bought a bunch of food these potatoes stuffed flatbreads dates, apple juice but before she met her family the aid worker told N she had something to tell her about her father when she told to me I was like quite She told her the real reason that her father didn't show up the last time she tried to meet with him Back when N. first left her family A small group of Talibs had come over to her family's home.

[235] They demanded that N's father keep his promise to hand over his daughter.

[236] And if he didn't, they'd take him instead.

[237] After that, they came for the second time and they took my father with themselves.

[238] So you're saying one of those nights that they actually took your father?

[239] Yeah.

[240] The aid worker told N that the group of men abducted N's father took him away from Kabul and detained him in an unknown basement with a few other prisoners.

[241] They beat him heavily, injuring his back.

[242] They gave him a small piece of bread in the morning and one at night.

[243] He lost a lot of weight.

[244] He was leaving in dark room.

[245] He was held there for more than three months.

[246] She said he only escaped when some Taliban officials came to that basement and disrupted the whole operation.

[247] The aid worker told N that her mother knew her father was missing the last time they met.

[248] But she decided to keep it from her.

[249] She didn't want N. to do anything rash, like try to give herself to those men to save her father.

[250] You know, when she told me about it, there was nothing, it was hard.

[251] I was like statue.

[252] As she was setting the table and was still processing what the aid worker told her, and then the door opened.

[253] And my father, when I saw him, he was...

[254] And's father walked slowly through the door.

[255] He was bent over.

[256] and seemed to be struggling.

[257] In the seven months since En had last seen him, her father had transformed into an old man. He was physically not normal.

[258] He was not normal at all.

[259] He was so weak.

[260] He was very weak, you know?

[261] Like when he was looking like 10 years more than his age.

[262] And I control myself to, to not cry, I said hi to him, and I kissed his hand, and then he kissed my head.

[263] And my brother, he wanted to start what happened with him.

[264] And I said, no, no one should talk about all these things.

[265] We should eat.

[266] He should break our fast.

[267] They all sat down together, ends father, a little more slowly than ever.

[268] everyone else.

[269] They said a prayer, and then they broke fast.

[270] And while they were eating, Anne watched her father out of the corner of her eye.

[271] When he was eating, he can't use his hand.

[272] And, you know, I promised to myself that I will not cry again.

[273] So it's It was hard She felt a constant stream of emotions Churning inside of her Guilt over her decision You know I become selfish I left home I just think about my My future And I was eating three times And they And he was They haven't given him food He was suffering so much.

[274] Resentment, that she was even forced to make that decision.

[275] Nothing was my fault, but the thing that they have done with me was too wrong.

[276] And then just a sense of a niece about seeing her family again, sharing a meal with the same people who are willing to give her away.

[277] I was scared also.

[278] Why were you scared?

[279] Because for me, the thing that they had.

[280] that it was like, it become for me like a dark dream.

[281] It was too uncomfortable for myself.

[282] It was a fair inside of me. But at the same time, she still longed to be a family again.

[283] I want to have a normal relationship with the family.

[284] Toward the end of dinner, N. suggested they all take a picture together.

[285] I smile on the picture and I said, yes, everyone is together after around seven months.

[286] We are all together.

[287] But to this day, she hasn't been able to bring herself to look at it.

[288] I don't want to see those pictures.

[289] I don't want to see them.

[290] You know, all these things, they make me feel that to hate myself.

[291] I'm sorry.

[292] It's okay.

[293] I'm thinking I'm responsible for everything, for everything.

[294] While I was not, like one side I'm thinking, no, I'm not.

[295] But another thinking is like I'm responsible for everything.

[296] I'm responsible for that.

[297] I'm in waiting room and I'm waiting for the flight.

[298] It's online.

[299] I think it's after 30 minutes or 45 minutes.

[300] The next morning, N sent me a voice memo.

[301] She was at the airport.

[302] It was going to be her first time flying on an airplane and her first time leaving the country alone.

[303] She had one small suitcase with her, packed with makeup, sneakers, and a figurine of the Statue of Liberty.

[304] I'm too confused, but I'm happy also.

[305] And I miss the family, my mom.

[306] Then she boarded, and the plane took off.

[307] When the plane, it is hard to fly, my heart was, I was so scared.

[308] I will die now.

[309] Because it was scary just to be in a huge object flying through the air.

[310] Yeah.

[311] Yeah.

[312] In high place.

[313] And when I saw Kabul from the plane, it was, one feeling was, like, leaving everything.

[314] And another feeling was the excitement for, you know, my dream.

[315] When it was landing my ears, it was like, oh, shit, too pain.

[316] Yeah, your ears are popping.

[317] Yeah, and I cannot hear sound.

[318] But when I was looking at the outside, the city was too beautiful.

[319] Yeah, it was very beautiful.

[320] And everyone was asking for me, are you alone?

[321] Are you alone?

[322] Are you alone?

[323] And I was saying, yes, I'm alone.

[324] But I was feeling proud.

[325] When she landed, Katari officials scooped her up from the airport.

[326] They delivered her to her temporary home, this kind of compound where other Afghan families were living.

[327] She got an apartment all to herself, a home to live in while she waited for a response from the U .S. government about her application for humanitarian parole.

[328] They were very good, but.

[329] On the place that I went, it was like a restaurant on the street.

[330] And over the next several weeks, the people caring for her took her on field trips to see Doha.

[331] I was watching everyone and like new people, new styles.

[332] Someone was with hijab, someone was without hijab.

[333] And, you know, for me, it was very like a young girl, tasting the real taste of life.

[334] She went swimming for the first time.

[335] I wear that you, the people who don't know how to swim.

[336] Like a flotation device?

[337] Yeah.

[338] But at least I learned a little bit.

[339] She even took a short class at the Georgetown University satellite campus in Doha.

[340] She got a certificate for most improved student.

[341] And I was not expecting that.

[342] I said, oh, my foot.

[343] I'm like, I was feeling so proud.

[344] Then, nearly four months after she arrived in Doha, The news about her application to the U .S. government finally came.

[345] Ann?

[346] Hi, how are you?

[347] Hey, I'm good.

[348] How are you?

[349] I'm good.

[350] So, I mean, I just want to hear about what exactly your lawyer told you.

[351] Actually, I was, because like now it's all the most four months that I'm in here in Doha.

[352] Uh -huh.

[353] So, like I said, maybe.

[354] I would call to my lawyer or ask her what's the new update.

[355] Then she texted me and she said, like, can I, do you have time for talking?

[356] I said, yes.

[357] And then I was like crossing, you know, like wishing to hear good news.

[358] Crossing your fingers.

[359] Yeah, yeah.

[360] Yeah, and she said, because you're my client, so I want to tell you that your case has been rejected by US.

[361] Yeah, and I don't know for me. It was the last option.

[362] I can't even, like, say how I feel now.

[363] I was expecting, like, a bright future, you know, like I was thinking, yes, I did it.

[364] But now I don't even know what to do.

[365] And what would be next option.

[366] In the rejection letter from the U .S. citizenship and immigration services, they said there was not sufficient evidence that N. was at risk of serious harm in Afghanistan.

[367] Some of the evidence they look for is whether an applicant is facing serious threats or whether they're a member of a targeted group.

[368] In the end, N's case didn't meet their standards for urgent humanitarian reasons for parole.

[369] And when I reached out to understand why, they didn't comment on the specific.

[370] of her case.

[371] What does that feel like and to sort of not be able to see what will happen next?

[372] It's like you're stuck and nothing is in your hand.

[373] I cannot make any change on U .S. decision.

[374] If they doesn't accept my case, then I have nothing to prove it.

[375] Like, I cannot do anything and I cannot do anything and I cannot say like anything for them.

[376] I don't know like what to do now or what will happen next and I don't even have the right of saying why.

[377] I mean one of the things that I've been thinking about and is that there are a lot of Afghan women in your situation who didn't work for the U .S. military but still have carried a cost of this war.

[378] I'm just curious if you feel like Afghan women, they've sort of fallen through the cracks in a way.

[379] Do you think that Afghan women aren't being regarded the way they should?

[380] You know, the war that happened in Afghanistan, it was not because of women's.

[381] Women doesn't even, like, fight.

[382] but they're like stack between the war you know like it doesn't matter who did wrong but everything will come on women even like I swear I was thinking oh I haven't even live like a normal human in Afghanistan you know it's like I was feeling like an alien like an alien I guess I mean one question question I have for you because it's been one full year since all of this started.

[383] And so I'm aware that so much has changed in your life in the past year, but also so much has also stayed the same.

[384] So I'm just curious how you're feeling about the past year now that it's come full circle.

[385] This is one year, but it has like, you know, so many days.

[386] And every day was so hard.

[387] for everyone.

[388] Now I remember everything and in my own life, many things changed.

[389] You know, like I got hurted from my family.

[390] I saw difficulties, many of them.

[391] And I know many things that happen with me was not normal.

[392] But on that time, I think my option was choosing, marrying, or maybe die.

[393] But now at least I have many options.

[394] many other options I even learn so many things I learn as a human as a woman my rights I also deserve to be released I also deserve to dream to struggle to make it true and now I think and I believe if something bad happened with me I know there is also something good that's waiting for me and I believe that.

[395] Can you see the difference between the first day that I talk with you until now?

[396] Yes.

[397] To me, it seems like you're a little more at peace with your decision.

[398] Do you think that's right?

[399] Yeah.

[400] I can see the difference.

[401] That's a very big difference.

[402] You know, now I'm thinking that getting my hand, you know, doing suicide, I almost have, like, around four and five marks in my hand.

[403] The scars?

[404] Yeah, the scars.

[405] But, you know, I'm feeling proud of it.

[406] They're like marks of survival now.

[407] Yeah, that's the mark for surviving.

[408] For me, it is.

[409] I'm happy that at least I'm strong I can fight and I did N. Zoyer has appealed her case for humanitarian parole with the United States it's unclear when her case will be resolved since around the time the Taliban took over Afghanistan only 500 of the nearly 50 ,000 humanitarian parole cases submitted to the Department of Homeland Security have been approved.

[410] For now, and remains in Doha on a temporary visa.

[411] We'll be right back.

[412] Here's what else you should know today.

[413] We, the jury, we've reached our verdict as to damages in this case.

[414] We wore damages to each plaintiff against Alex Jones and free speech system.

[415] I'll see as follows.

[416] A jury in Connecticut ordered the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to pay nearly a billion dollars to families of victims in the Sandy Beach.

[417] Hook Elementary School mass shooting, and to an FBI agent who responded to the scene.

[418] The family sued Jones in civil court over his promotion of the lie that the 2012 shooting never happened, and that they were actors hired as part of a plot to take away people's guns.

[419] The family said at the trial that they were threatened and harassed for years by people who believed the lies told on Jones' show.

[420] The verdict is the second big defamation judgment against the Info Wars host.

[421] In August, a Texas jury ordered him to pay nearly $50 million to the parents of another child killed at Sandy Hook.

[422] Today's episode was produced by Lindsay Garrison.

[423] It was edited by Michael Benoit.

[424] Contains sound design by Marion Lazzano.

[425] It also contains original music by Marion Lazzano, Dan Powell, and Alicia E. Tube.

[426] It was engineered by Dan Powell.

[427] Our theme music is by Jim Brunberg and Ben Lansfirk of Wonderly.

[428] That's it for the daily.

[429] I'm Sabrina Tavernisi.

[430] See you tomorrow.