Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[1] Want to talk to Conan?
[2] Visit team cocoa .com slash call Conan.
[3] Okay, let's get started.
[4] And here's Chris.
[5] I'm Chris.
[6] I'm here.
[7] Hi, Chris.
[8] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien.
[9] Hi, guys.
[10] Hey, Chris, how are you?
[11] I can't believe I'm here.
[12] I'm doing very well.
[13] Well, tell us, Chris, first of all, nice to meet you.
[14] And where are you right now?
[15] Pleasure is all mine.
[16] I'm in Chico, California.
[17] Oh, cool.
[18] All right.
[19] Very good.
[20] Yeah, that's all right.
[21] Chico, California.
[22] and oh look at your books behind you you got world war two yeah the civil war i we could be friends you and i we have similar interests we i can tell like you're always talking about like at the end of your show or like you know we're like we're friends on the podcast we're not friends outside i got a gut feeling we'd be friends in real life without question or doubt well first of all i love you got some red in your hair you got the cool stash a little bit cool mustache i like the mustache right there it's nice um and you got a good broadcaster voice you got a very good i appreciate that thank you conan Yeah.
[23] What's your profession?
[24] Are you a guy that, like, does the...
[25] I'm a paramedic.
[26] Oh, you're a paramedic.
[27] Oh, my God.
[28] Yeah.
[29] I have, I'm very much like to be a broadcaster, but no, I'm a paramedic for now.
[30] Oh, yeah, you're only saving lives right now.
[31] Yeah.
[32] You're really...
[33] You guys help more people than I do, I'm sure.
[34] Chris, let me assure you what you're doing is so much cooler than any broadcaster I know.
[35] That is very cool.
[36] Tell us what it's like to be...
[37] What's it like to be a paramedic?
[38] Tell us about it.
[39] It's very rewarding at times.
[40] It is the biggest compliment I receive in my life is being welcomed into strangers' home during their time of need.
[41] Oh, wow.
[42] And the only way I can repay that is by doing my best.
[43] Okay.
[44] It's extremely rewarding at times, and at times it is absolutely difficult, very difficult.
[45] Well, when you first show up, you go in the room.
[46] Let's say you enter the house, you go in, and I guess the first job is to try and ascertain what is wrong with this person, right?
[47] Yeah.
[48] Why do you call 911 today?
[49] Okay.
[50] I always introduced myself if it's available as a paramedic, and I say, you know, hi, how are you doing?
[51] What made you call 911 today?
[52] Are you in any pain?
[53] What's going on?
[54] And we kind of have to go down the route of, is it a medical problem or is it a traumatic problem?
[55] And then from there, we treat, diagnose the best for ability and transfer them to the appropriate hospital.
[56] You are, first of all, it sounds like you're very calm in these situations, right?
[57] It just you, you, I am.
[58] I'm more nervous about this than I have ever been.
[59] Like, there will be like, there's blood everywhere on the radio.
[60] I'll just be calm as a cucumber, but they're like Lisa was just telling me, like Conan's on and two, and I'm sweating.
[61] Okay, all right.
[62] Well, listen, maybe you need a paramedic.
[63] You should call someone right now.
[64] Why did you call 911?
[65] I'm on the phone with Conan O 'Brien.
[66] It may be kind of nervous.
[67] That's right.
[68] I won't be the first.
[69] I won't be the last.
[70] So, okay, you're a paramedic, and you go and you don't have to call me, sir.
[71] Just call me Admiral.
[72] You go into their home, and let's say you notice, okay, this person's got a real problem, and you put them in the ambulance, and then you take them to the emergency room.
[73] Do you just drop them off then, or is there a handoff to the trauma surgeon?
[74] There is a handoff report, and the handoff report is one of the most valuable things I can provide on most calls.
[75] I have access to, like, the patient's house, I have access to or the side of the road.
[76] I can see what happened to the patient.
[77] I can see their living circumstances, and I can tell them to the nurse and doctor as well.
[78] So I'm usually, as the paramedic, I work alongside an EMT.
[79] The EMT, generally speaking, is the one that drives and assists me while we're not driving, and I'm in the back.
[80] And I provide a higher level of care.
[81] I provide, you know, IV therapy, cardiac monitor, and I have a list of medications I can give, if appropriate.
[82] What?
[83] I didn't know the different.
[84] And we go to an appropriate hospital.
[85] There are different destinations as a hospital.
[86] And myself or sometimes I have to call a doctor and decide which hospital is appropriate for this patient.
[87] Wow, do you ever give the guy driving attitude that you have all these other responsibilities?
[88] Yeah, every day.
[89] He knows his charge.
[90] I would.
[91] I'd be like, hey, how's the driving going?
[92] I am very fortunate.
[93] I'm back here giving medications and saving lives.
[94] Hey, you might, nice left turn.
[95] The guy's bleeding out and you're just bragging.
[96] I would spend all my time.
[97] I'm very fortunate.
[98] My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, I have the greatest EMT partner in the world.
[99] He, uh, we work really well together.
[100] He constantly challenges me. Um, he's constantly asking me questions about this, that, the other thing.
[101] Uh, his name's Talon.
[102] He listens to the podcast too.
[103] Okay.
[104] Well, Tom I said, hey, shout out.
[105] What's his name again?
[106] Shout out.
[107] Talon, like a claw.
[108] His name is Talon.
[109] Whoa.
[110] You're right now I'm the coolest DMT ever.
[111] Yeah, now I like him better.
[112] I know.
[113] Why aren't I talking to Talon?
[114] Yeah, Chris, you got to step up.
[115] Let's get Chris and Nicknain.
[116] I had to get my ship covered.
[117] Where's rapier?
[118] As in rapier wit.
[119] No, that's a terrible, terrible nickname.
[120] Really bad.
[121] That one was really bad.
[122] Stiletto?
[123] Yeah.
[124] Ugh, that's not like intimidating.
[125] Something like about it, like his stash, like we'll call him the broom.
[126] Oh, God, you guys are so bad at this.
[127] The broom?
[128] No, that's bad.
[129] You go.
[130] Knife.
[131] Okay.
[132] I need guys with you.
[133] Well, that's all better than my real nickname.
[134] What's your real nickname?
[135] They call me Rain Man at work.
[136] They call you Rain Man?
[137] Really?
[138] Yeah.
[139] Oh.
[140] Yeah, I played trivia with my co -workers.
[141] Oh, and you're good at trivia.
[142] That's all right.
[143] Hey, I'm good at trivia and chess.
[144] If they're mocking you for being intelligent and having knowledge, that's okay, you know.
[145] Speaking from experience.
[146] I'm sorry.
[147] I mean, seriously.
[148] I've been mocked in the past.
[149] Yeah, but so what?
[150] I can't throw a baseball.
[151] Anyway, let's not dwell on that.
[152] Last time I threw a baseball, I had to call an EMT.
[153] So you get to the hospital.
[154] You have the patient.
[155] Yes, sir.
[156] Um, do you have to say like, okay, here's what I think it is.
[157] Does the, does the surgeon ever have a real attitude?
[158] Like, I think I'll figure this out.
[159] Do they ever do that?
[160] Like, I think I got it from here.
[161] Sometimes I'm very fortunate.
[162] They went to seven years of school.
[163] I went to one.
[164] Yeah, there's a big difference.
[165] But I'm very fortunate.
[166] Again, the hospital I work in association with is we have some very fantastic doctors.
[167] I choose to work where I work because I work with a lot of really great people, including the doctors and nurses, other.
[168] first responders in my area.
[169] Oh, come on.
[170] Isn't anyone in your life a prick?
[171] I mean, come on.
[172] Well, that's why he called here.
[173] Yeah, yeah, there are, there are.
[174] I have the utmost respect for everyone I encounter.
[175] There's got to be one person at the hospital who's just the worst.
[176] We won't name them, but you know who I'm talking about.
[177] Dr. Leno isn't very much.
[178] Oh, good Lord.
[179] Anyway, I'm just picturing him in all denim scrubs.
[180] So I hear you having a heart attack.
[181] That's my best of Lennon.
[182] That's his siren.
[183] Me, me, me. Anyhoots.
[184] So, I am very impressed by, this is a very impressive young man?
[185] Yes.
[186] You've got full skills.
[187] And tell us a little bit about your life.
[188] What's going on?
[189] Family, anything going on?
[190] No, no. I'm single.
[191] I have a great family.
[192] My mother's beautiful and perfect in every way.
[193] I love my mom.
[194] That's pretty much the most of the family I have.
[195] She was actually here this morning making me breakfast, which was very nice because she knew I was nervous for this.
[196] Oh, that's adorable.
[197] That's so nice.
[198] You shouldn't have been nervous about this.
[199] We're easy to talk to, you know, we're just folk.
[200] I know, I know.
[201] But you're like, I've been watching you Conan on and off for about 25 years.
[202] Oh, wow.
[203] On and off.
[204] Yeah.
[205] Why off?
[206] You guys went off here.
[207] I had to take some breaks.
[208] I know you guys had a podcast.
[209] I didn't know you guys had a podcast until I bought my new car, which had Sirius X -M.
[210] Okay, well, clearly.
[211] And I listen to you guys now.
[212] We're not doing a good job marketing that.
[213] No, I'm telling everyone about it now.
[214] We have all those ambulance ads on the side of ambulances.
[215] That's for my law firm.
[216] Do you feel less nervous now that it's started?
[217] No, I'm more nervous.
[218] My heart rate is gradually rising.
[219] Okay, well, you need three CCs of Diozoas and stat.
[220] That's what I would say.
[221] You're going to give me blood poisoning.
[222] Did I just make up a medication?
[223] I don't know what that is.
[224] I think so, yeah.
[225] Okay, good.
[226] I grew up in Berkeley, California.
[227] I've not been back since, but I went to school in San Francisco, and then I moved up to Lake Tahoe for a couple of years.
[228] What did you do there in the COVID -19?
[229] I didn't really know what to do with myself after college, so I actually worked for the California State Parks.
[230] My first job out of college was as a wedding planner, which is like one of the weirdest jobs.
[231] So I went from meeting people from the best days of the lives to the worst days of their lives, which is that weird contrast.
[232] You went from being a wedding planner to being someone who's going into homes where someone's face just blew up, you know?
[233] Yeah.
[234] Yeah, it's a, it was a weird swing, but I did some, I used to work on a fuels crew.
[235] I went back to school and became an EMT.
[236] And the EMT portion besides history class was the only class, higher level education class actually enjoyed.
[237] And so I decided, you know, I wanted to be a paramedic.
[238] And I did a pair, I became a paramedic, and I've been doing it now on and off for about five years.
[239] Hey, do me a favor, Krispy, and be honest.
[240] Would I make a good paramedic?
[241] I think you'd give a great report.
[242] I do, and I've seen you calm under difficult situations.
[243] If you can perform on stage, I think you can perform well on Steam.
[244] But what about the whole part...
[245] There's no joke that you're smart.
[246] What about the whole part where I need to...
[247] Be professional?
[248] Yeah, be professional.
[249] And, you know, you may make a joke unprofessionally, but your editing team does a great job of cutting that out.
[250] You can't do that in real life.
[251] In real life, when I go in there and I start making jokes and we lose the patient and we're all standing around the living room and I'm like, hey, I smell, someone's making goulash.
[252] You didn't apply a tourniquet because you had to stall for a bit.
[253] He had to do, you know, comb mustache guys.
[254] And, you know, then the guy died.
[255] Yeah.
[256] Would I, yeah, that might not go well.
[257] Oh, well.
[258] You win some, you lose.
[259] I think you'd be pleasantly surprised.
[260] Yeah.
[261] Do you think you do?
[262] No, I think you'd do okay.
[263] How do you do?
[264] Are you squeamish?
[265] I think I do okay.
[266] That's the big thing.
[267] That's the big thing is I guess there are people that just see blood and they have a problem.
[268] There's a difference between like seeing like a video and seeing it like in person.
[269] That's sad.
[270] And it's also not just blood.
[271] It's like every bodily substance besides blood too.
[272] So that it's not just like is this gross or is this violent or gross.
[273] It's like it's also a smell factor.
[274] Well, wait a minute.
[275] Now you can't be.
[276] a paramedic, if you're gonna say poo and pee -poo and pee -pee.
[277] Well, we have a major release of poo -poo and pee -p -p -p.
[278] We're heading in now.
[279] Is that how you talk to your kids?
[280] We've got poop -poo and pee -p -pac.
[281] We've got two poop -poo, one -pp.
[282] We need to administer diapers.
[283] Statt.
[284] Do people still say that stat?
[285] That was on shows when I was a kid.
[286] Like there was a show called emergency, and they'd be like, get in here, a stat.
[287] Occasionally I hear it in the hospital.
[288] Occasionally.
[289] when I'm, like, walking through it, but it is kind of been phased out, to my understanding.
[290] How about, do you still say clear when you're using the paddles?
[291] Clear.
[292] Do you still do that?
[293] Absolutely.
[294] Every time.
[295] Yeah, we use a, you don't say gather around?
[296] Yes.
[297] No, no, you cannot be touching somebody when they get shocked.
[298] Otherwise, you'll get shocked, too.
[299] Okay.
[300] Okay.
[301] Oh, I never thought about that.
[302] I want to try that.
[303] That's why?
[304] I would like to use the paddles.
[305] I'd like to say clear and then use the paddles on someone who doesn't need it.
[306] And then they do need it after I use it.
[307] No, no. If you use it and they don't need it, they will need it immediately.
[308] Is that true?
[309] Yes.
[310] If you shock somebody with a defibrillator, you can kill them.
[311] Let me ask you something.
[312] Not that I'm, sometimes I just sort of think about like what's the perfect murder.
[313] But let me ask you something, Chris, and please, anyone listening, don't, you know, this is just theoretical.
[314] And so I'm not going to take responsibility for this.
[315] But if you use paddles on someone and you give them a heart attack and you want them out of the picture, can't you then call the hospital and go like, they had a heart attack?
[316] oh, now I inherit their money, I guess.
[317] I mean, I wouldn't say that into the phone.
[318] I'm pretty sure I'd get in trouble if I shock somebody that need to be shocked.
[319] No, I'm talking about secretly.
[320] I'm talking about secretly.
[321] And he's not talking about you.
[322] Let me just carry an AED around with me. No, listen to me. I'm not talking about you, Chris.
[323] I'm talking about me. There's someone in my life maybe who I want out of the picture and I use the paddles on them.
[324] Would a coroner be able to detect that?
[325] We did look at you.
[326] Would a coroner be able to do?
[327] Gosh, I don't.
[328] I don't know.
[329] I may have stumbled on the perfect murder.
[330] So, like, we don't really use, like, the paddles.
[331] We use, like, these really sticky pads that leave a pretty heavy residue.
[332] So they would see the residue, and they see the fact that it's around the Zolmander, which is like $10 ,000.
[333] You mean he was, you can say he was having a heart attack, and you did it, and then he died.
[334] Oh, that's very good.
[335] You just sealed your own death more.
[336] But, like, I want to make it clear.
[337] We don't, we don't usually shock people that have a pulse.
[338] That's very frowned upon my industry.
[339] Okay.
[340] All right.
[341] Okay.
[342] Have you ever used the paddles on any kind of food item?
[343] heated up oh no no I know no if you use the paddles on I think that 200 joules for one second I don't think it would be enough you don't think so if you kept if you used the paddles several times on ego waffles that were completely frozen would they be at all I think it'd make popcorn pop I think they'd make popcorn oh that'd be fun late hey kids gather I'm gonna have to look it up later come boom boom hapabab bum did that's the popcorn popping yeah it's also an auctioneer was having a stroke Get the defibrillator.
[344] Get the filibulator on him.
[345] Right.
[346] And let him hold some on popcorn.
[347] Oh, no. That got really stupid, really fast, Chris, and that's your fault.
[348] You let us down this road.
[349] Yeah, I did.
[350] I'm sorry.
[351] You did.
[352] This is all your fault.
[353] To everyone listening, please don't use the defab, a defib pads on anybody unnecessarily.
[354] I'm glad you're here, Chris.
[355] And I agree with what Chris just said.
[356] Yeah, that's a very bad thing to do.
[357] And don't try it on an ego.
[358] Maybe popcorn.
[359] I think we cleared things up.
[360] No, don't, not on popcorn either.
[361] Okay.
[362] No, they don't sell these things privately.
[363] Like, you've got to, like, go through an agency.
[364] I know you're acting.
[365] You're acting like it's at Costco.
[366] Hey, I'm here for the defibrillators.
[367] They're in buildings sometimes, like on the wall.
[368] No, they get it.
[369] Welcome to Costco.
[370] How can I help you?
[371] I'm looking for an MRI.
[372] And defibrillator.
[373] Let's see.
[374] I want an iron lung, too.
[375] What are you doing?
[376] I'm building a hospital.
[377] You should come on by Is that you been in medical school?
[378] No. Hey, do you sell licenses here?
[379] You should come on by.
[380] Come on by if you ever any trouble.
[381] My name's Conan.
[382] I got a hospital.
[383] It's right down.
[384] I'm on the third house on the left.
[385] Are you going out on Halloween?
[386] What are you going to do for Halloween?
[387] I have to work this Halloween.
[388] Are you allowed to dress up?
[389] I did dress up this past weekend.
[390] No. I went as Ned Flanders.
[391] Oh, perfect.
[392] Oakley -do -O -Cloakley.
[393] Yeah, I can't really be.
[394] Howdy -ho strokerino?
[395] That one is.
[396] I have the glasses on and everybody thought I was Jeffrey Dahmer so I think it's the last time I'm doing the costume.
[397] Oh, man. Well, Dahmer, Flanders.
[398] I simply can't do that as a paramedic.
[399] I do think that Ned Flanders would be a great paramedic.
[400] Ned and Marge would be my two votes.
[401] I would worry that Ned Flanders would just put it in God's hands too many times.
[402] Yeah, you know, he'd be like...
[403] Too much.
[404] Yeah, he'd say like, well, it's the good Lord called and then can't interfere with the good Lord's plan, you know, as opposed to...
[405] No, no, he's just got a hangnail.
[406] Get in there, help him.
[407] I'm very impressed by this gentleman.
[408] Chris, do you have a question for Conan?
[409] I have quite a few, but I was really hoping you guys bring back remote episodes because that was my absolute favorite thing to watch you guys.
[410] Oh, cool.
[411] And even you guys just do the audio for the Grand Canyon.
[412] Like, that'd be hilarious.
[413] You made for the TV show or are you saying do it for a podcast?
[414] Or do remote as a podcast and release it on YouTube.
[415] Okay.
[416] I mean, like, or just, I don't know the situation, but like even just do local ones.
[417] like go to parts of California.
[418] Let's just say there's some things in the works.
[419] There's some plans in the works.
[420] Yeah, come do a ride -along, man. That can be your own.
[421] Oh, you and I on a ride -along?
[422] Oh, man. Oh, yeah.
[423] That's interesting.
[424] I'm a paramedic instructor as well.
[425] I can teach.
[426] I can give you the crash course.
[427] Well, we all know how this is going to go.
[428] Lives will be lost.
[429] But laughs will be gained.
[430] Conan will commit manslaughter.
[431] I will lose my paramedic license.
[432] No, no, no. You won't lose your license.
[433] But it will get some good laughs, I think.
[434] Yeah.
[435] It'll be a good bit.
[436] Hey, if all you loses a career and we get some laughs, then who's to say we didn't wait?
[437] Have you guys ever had, like, I don't know, I hope you guys have only had positive interactions with us.
[438] Yes.
[439] I was just curious, have you ever had an interaction with a paramedic or EMT?
[440] I don't think.
[441] No, I mean, I haven't, I've a couple of times been around elder folk who have needed that kind of assistance and paramedics EMTs have come, and they're just always fantastic.
[442] Great.
[443] I mean, I can't imagine how many.
[444] That really warms my heart to hear.
[445] Yeah, it's true.
[446] It's true.
[447] If people come in, they just have this body of knowledge and they're calm and immediately everything is better.
[448] Yeah.
[449] So, I mean.
[450] I try, I like hearing that.
[451] I really try to replicate that in my practice as well.
[452] Oh, my God, yeah.
[453] No, if I was having a problem, I would want you to come through the door.
[454] And then it would spend like 10 minutes just talking about old Simpson's episodes.
[455] And then I would flatline and you'd be in a lot of trouble.
[456] Well, Chris, very, very nice.
[457] to meet you.
[458] You're an impressive young man and I appreciate you saying you're a you're a better Ned Flanders than Ned Flanders in my opinion.
[459] Thank you.
[460] Yeah, very cool to talk to you.
[461] And tell your mom we said hello.
[462] They're even cooler to talk to you guys.
[463] Oh, of course.
[464] Yeah, my mom's, my mom's great.
[465] I know you guys are wrapping up, but I just want to say you guys help me so much in my personal life.
[466] I'm on the peer support team here in my area and like I always say after we see something rough, you always have to laugh and then you have to sleep.
[467] And you guys give me so much to look forward to in my daily commute watching you guys on YouTube and just a lot of time of laughter.
[468] Thank you so much.
[469] And even though I'm not even 30 yet, that's still, I say laughter is like the best medicine and you guys provide a lot of it.
[470] I would agree.
[471] I think medicine, as some comedian said, actually medicine is the best medicine.
[472] I don't know who said that, but they were when the shit really hits the fan.
[473] I had my tight five in the back of the angels.
[474] I want, yeah.
[475] When the shit really hits the fan, I want a, I want someone who really knows the stuff that you know, That is very nice of you to say.
[476] And it does warm our hearts to know that people like you who are doing really good work are out there listening.
[477] It's very meaningful.
[478] So thank you.
[479] I appreciate it.
[480] You guys help more people than I ever can.
[481] I hope you guys keep doing what you're doing.
[482] You give me and so many other people something to look forward to each day.
[483] Wow.
[484] I really appreciate all you guys too.
[485] You guys are absolutely blessed.
[486] I'm going to cry.
[487] All right.
[488] Well, Chris, thank you so much.
[489] Honor to talk to you, really.
[490] Thank you.
[491] Have a great day.
[492] Honors all mine.
[493] Thanks, Chris.
[494] Have a great day, Conan.
[495] Bye, guys.
[496] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam O 'Sessian, and Matt Goorley.
[497] Produced by me, Matt Goorley.
[498] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
[499] Theme song by The White Stripes.
[500] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
[501] Take it away, Jimmy.
[502] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[503] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
[504] Additional production support by Mars Melnik.
[505] talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Conn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[506] Got a question for Conan?
[507] Call the Team Coco hotline at 669 -587 -2847 and leave a message.
[508] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[509] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
[510] This has been a Team Cocoa production.
[511] production in association with Earwolf.