The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] Of all the things you've learned from your good and bad relationships, if you were to have, if I had to, if I said to you that what is the single biggest killer of relationships?
[7] What would your answer be?
[8] I would say the biggest killer of relationships is being out of integrity with your authentic power and abandoning yourself to create peace in the relationship.
[9] because if one person is doing that or two people are doing that, there's some type of codependency, there's some type of wound of why we're doing that.
[10] That's creating that.
[11] So for me, the biggest killer is not healing.
[12] That's the biggest killer.
[13] Whatever wounds we have, be on the healing journey.
[14] It's not going to happen overnight.
[15] It's not like a moment.
[16] It's a journey of healing.
[17] And I think the more people are willing to dive into their heart and their emotions and whatever insecurities, wherever they feel triggered, that's where you need to lean into.
[18] Because that trigger is going to come up in a relationship's big time if you haven't healed it.
[19] So it's the emotional healing, I think is one of the most powerful things.
[20] It's funny.
[21] I interviewed a brain surgeon who done over a thousand brain surgeries and studied the brain.
[22] And he's also a PhD in neuroscience.
[23] So he studies the mind and thoughts, and he was a brain surgeon.
[24] And I said, what's the number one skill?
[25] Do you feel like human beings should learn to master?
[26] And his answer was beautiful.
[27] He said emotional regulation.
[28] I was like, I 100 % agree.
[29] Because if we don't have the power to regulate our feelings around a situation and environment, something that happens in events, then that event has power over us, as opposed to us over that moment.
[30] And if it has power over us to where we react so strongly, we need to ask ourselves, why am I so triggered?
[31] Where is that wound?
[32] That's a wound somewhere.
[33] Where is that wound?
[34] And how can I start the healing journey?
[35] I'm not saying that things are going to happen in life and you're never going to feel something, but just not react and be overwhelmed emotionally to where it takes you away from love and takes you away from your mission.
[36] But if something is so strong that it causes you to lose sleep for three days or causes you to react in a negative way, it's pulling you away from your heart, from love, and from your meaningful mission.
[37] And I think we just got to get back to, okay, why is this stressing me out?
[38] How can I process this in integrate healing in a healthy way so that when life happens, it doesn't pull me off my mission.
[39] And that's something I've experienced for the first time in the last three months is really like, life has happened in a big way for me. it's sidetracked me a little bit, but it's not pulling me off.
[40] Like I'm needing to face it and deal with things and process, but it's not like defeating me to where I feel like I'm exhausted.
[41] And that's because I'm holding myself emotionally accountable and doing the work.
[42] If someone's listening to this and they don't have a therapist, they don't have the resources or whatever to have therapy, how else can they go about developing the self -awareness required for that emotional regulation journey?
[43] there's definitely things you can do on your own.
[44] I would read a book called How to Do the Work by Nicole LaPera, which gives you a lot of exercises and practices and things like that on how to do the work yourself.
[45] So you can get the book for 25 bucks and start there and start your own ritual and healing process, whether it be journaling, whether it be other different types of meditation, things like that.
[46] She has different rituals in there you can do.
[47] But I would recommend And I don't think there's anything more powerful than sitting in front of a human and talking to someone about how you feel at what you're going through.
[48] So whether that's a priest or a parent or a teacher or, you know, a friend that you trust, someone you feel like who has a little bit more wisdom than you, I would start there until you can afford the therapy.
[49] And in terms of emotional journeys, you cite that you're still on one.
[50] Absolutely.
[51] What are the things that you're now talking to your therapist about that you're trying to solve in yourself?
[52] I had this photo for the last year, and I'll just show the camera, the photo of my five -year -old self.
[53] And in the last session I did with her, it was all about healing the inner child, right?
[54] It was all about healing the inner child and doing the work.
[55] I mean, I did some weird stuff, like putting myself in spiritual and mental environments where I'm talking to my five -year -old self and looking at my five -year -old self.
[56] hugging my five -year -old self, integrating my five -year -old self with my adult self, and kind of reparenting that psychological child.
[57] Some weird stuff, but for whatever reason it's worked for me. Because now I can look at a situation and say, okay, do I feel triggered?
[58] Oh, where's that coming from?
[59] Is it from that hurt child?
[60] If so, all I need to do is have a conversation with that part of my mind and say, I'm an adult now.
[61] and the adult is here, and I got your back.
[62] I can take care of this.
[63] I know how to process and soothe things in a healthy way.
[64] I don't need to lean onto an addiction or a reaction or whatever it may be to process.
[65] I know how to handle this.
[66] I know how to breathe.
[67] I know how to take a walk.
[68] I know how to have a conversation and process.
[69] You're safe.
[70] You're okay.
[71] It's all going to be okay.
[72] Whereas before, I didn't have that ability to communicate with a wounded part of myself.
[73] And so now she said, we've healed the five -year -old version of you that was sexually abused because I don't get triggered about it.
[74] I don't get reactive to it.
[75] I'm not defensive and guarded anymore.
[76] And I'm also shifting the way I don't please people in relationships anymore.
[77] So I've done a lot of things to do the work about intimacy and relationships and just in life.
[78] She's like now, and I go, okay, am I done because this is a lot of work?
[79] You know, it's a lot.
[80] You're diving into your emotions, you're tapping into uncomfortable stuff you're like crying it's all these things she's like this is a journey do you want to go to the next level in your life or are you satisfied i'm like okay you got to keep going you know there's always something else and so she's like we want to tap into the 11 to 12 year old self and she's like find a photo that's my next homework is to put a photo of myself when i was 11 or 12 and start healing that part of my life and there was a bunch of different stuff that happened at that phase that i haven't fully healed or forgiven myself and so that'll be the next work to do.
[81] And it'll be like stages of life until I meet myself to where I'm now.
[82] Interesting.
[83] And working on the evolution of all the memories of the past that wrote a story and developed chapters in a book that did not serve me. It's like a script, wasn't it?
[84] Yeah, and rewriting the script.
[85] Yeah, yeah.
[86] And not diminishing the things that happened, but acknowledging them and healing them in a different way.
[87] processing it in a healthy way so that I can meet myself where I'm at now and then really start elevating.
[88] How much has doing a podcast where you sit with these people but also you're a game changer man. I get the biggest like neuroscience.
[89] I've had so many and this year has been like the year of therapists and neuroscientists and spiritual gurus and just being like figuring out more and more about emotions about regulation about healing about inner child work because because I have people on there where I'm like, when I'm struggling in something in my life, I bring those people on and I'm like, teach me how to overcome this.
[90] Free therapy, right.
[91] It's incredible, yeah.
[92] And so my audience would be like, oh, Lewis is going through stuff and this.
[93] Oh, Lewis is going through a breakup.
[94] Oh, Lewis is in a relationship.
[95] Oh, Louis is in a relationship.
[96] Did you know that the Dariovacio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[97] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life.
[98] And the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany, and Austria.
[99] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[100] And along with the Diary of a CO channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[101] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Diary of a CEO channel right now.