Daniel Radcliffe

[0] Hi, my name is Dan Radcliffe, and I feel cautiously optimistic about being Conan O 'Brien's friend, which is pretty much an attitude I take into every realm of life.

[1] So why should this be different?

[2] Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brandy shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends, Can tell never we are going to be friends Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend Great podcast lined up for you today I like to think we always bring the goods We always bring what pitchers call the high heat You know, we don't throw junk I don't throw knuckle balls Yeah High heat every time, fast balls 98 miles per hour on the radar Huh It's, as you can tell I love that people who aren't jocks Is this the high heat?

[3] Yeah, what's happening?

[4] People who aren't jocks always use jock analogies because it's their way of pretending their jocks.

[5] That's my favorite thing.

[6] Did you want to be a jock?

[7] Oh, God, I knew very early on that that was not the life for me. The first time someone threw me a ball, I knew I need to find something else quickly.

[8] I ran from the ball.

[9] They kept tossing to the ball and I would run from it every time.

[10] You're just so tall.

[11] Like you would have been a good athlete.

[12] No, they're not.

[13] People always said that when I was growing up.

[14] People always said, hey, you're 6 '4, you know, you must be great at basketball.

[15] They're not related.

[16] Okay.

[17] You do need to have something called coordination.

[18] And you also have to have the desire to put the ball into the basket.

[19] And I'm going to say I have some coordination, but this is a true story.

[20] I used to play basketball with friends and, you know, not well, obviously, but I would, play basketball with friends at this hoop that was near our house in Brookline, Mass, and we would start playing, and I spent, I talked the whole game, and I would pretend to be different people who had backstories.

[21] And I remember so clearly my brother Luke just dropping his head, because he just couldn't take it anymore.

[22] I was like, okay, now this guy, this guy was asked to leave the league for a while because he got really into black tar heroin and he was on the lamb for a while.

[23] He attacked a fan and but now he's back.

[24] You know, his name is Jack, you know, Jack, Jay, Jonas, you know, Jabbar.

[25] And I would talk and talk and talk.

[26] And people would be laughing for a while.

[27] And then they'd be like, you're not playing basketball at all.

[28] I used to take crazy shots that I had no chance of making but shout out madness while I did it because I thought it was funny and even Bob Odenkirk he reminded me recently that when I used to shoot baskets with him I would take my shirt pull it up over my head and I'd become the phantom and he was a guy who showed up at a basketball court and said and Bob would play long ago who were you?

[29] say, I'm the phantom.

[30] And no one must ever know who I am.

[31] And then I would shoot baskets, but because I had a shirt over my head, I was terrible.

[32] And so the phantom was absolutely awful.

[33] And Bob playing along with it's always saying, Phantom, if you took that shirt off your head, you might enjoy the game.

[34] You might actually make a basket and say, no one must ever know the name of the phantom.

[35] And then I would toss the basketball as hard as I could, and it would go flying over the rim.

[36] You know, rolling into the next court.

[37] I only cared about that shit.

[38] And so for all of those reasons, the idea of earnestly trying in any way to do well in a sport.

[39] And my best creation was a guy named Doulin.

[40] And whenever I would play tennis, I would become Doulin.

[41] And Doulon was this Frenchman who was in...

[42] Wait, you had a different persona for every sport.

[43] Yes, I did.

[44] I'm not even kidding.

[45] I actually brought Doulon back recently.

[46] but I used to play with one of our line producers, Tracy King.

[47] I would play tennis with her, and this is in the 90s during the late night show, and we found this court, and we'd go up there, and we would just whack the ball back and forth.

[48] And I created this guy, Doulon, who's French, and obviously, and he has contempt for everybody, and he's very sexist.

[49] And so I'd be playing with Tracy King, and she would hit the ball to me, and if it went over the line, I'd be like, I would say, like, women, they should not play tennis.

[50] It is, you know, and should be like saying Doulon, you can't say that anymore.

[51] And I say, I'm Doulon, I'm Doulon.

[52] And then every time I hit the ball, I'd go, Doulon, Doolon, Doolon, Doolon, and I cannot, and, and, and, and that was my idea of playing tennis.

[53] I didn't care where the ball went.

[54] I just wanted to be Doulon.

[55] And Doulon was a horrible, horrible human being.

[56] And whenever she was.

[57] She kicked my ass, Duland, was like, it is not possible.

[58] I'm Doulin.

[59] Doulon cannot be defeated by a woman.

[60] You know, it's just ridiculous.

[61] It was insanity.

[62] But that's my idea of playing sports.

[63] So height got me nothing.

[64] Because I was crippled, crippled by a foolish brain.

[65] So anyway.

[66] They must have hated playing with you.

[67] They hated playing with me. And as I'm learning later in life, I was routinely just hated in general.

[68] All right, let's move on.

[69] But the podcast is my chance to redeem myself.

[70] My guest today starred in the Harry Potter movies and has appeared on Broadway in such productions as Equists and How to Succeed in Business, was that really trying?

[71] Now you can see him in the third season of the very funny TBS series, Miracle Workers.

[72] I really love this man. I'm thrilled.

[73] He's with us today.

[74] Daniel Radcliffe, welcome.

[75] There's so much to ask you about.

[76] First of all, I respect cautiously optimistic because that's just the right approach, you know?

[77] You have people coming at you from all angles.

[78] You don't know what they want from you.

[79] You're a very famous person.

[80] So, yes, consciously optimistic is fine.

[81] I also instruct that you call yourself Dan Radcliffe.

[82] I guess so, yeah.

[83] Everyone knows you as Daniel Radcliffe.

[84] Yeah, I suppose so.

[85] Have you always been Dan to your friends?

[86] Yeah, I'm down.

[87] I don't mind Daniel.

[88] I'm like, anything that Danny, I am for some reason not a Danny.

[89] and also if you introduce yourself to people in the UK particularly as Danny there's like a 50 -50 chance that they will sing Danny Boy to you immediately Oh, Danny Boy, you shouldn't have said.

[90] The pipes, the pipes are calling.

[91] I absolutely brought that on myself.

[92] You did, but you didn't expect it as a Gregorian chance, did you?

[93] But it's like, it's actually...

[94] Oh, Danny Boy!

[95] It's a really beautiful song, but it's so sad.

[96] And then to hear it that often.

[97] So, yeah, Dan or Daniel is fine, but, like, Daniel feels like formal, weirdly.

[98] So, yeah.

[99] I also feel like if you're Danny, you have to wear a cap.

[100] You have to wear a tweed cap at all times.

[101] And it has to be pushed back on your head.

[102] And you're like, ah, Danny, you know.

[103] I mean, it's just what's required of you.

[104] So I think you did the right thing going with.

[105] Yeah.

[106] People have tried to nickname Conan and it doesn't break down into anything smaller.

[107] No, I mean, no. Like, the first thing that came into my head was Nanny, and that doesn't work.

[108] No. I like that.

[109] And it's the same, and it's also the same length of still.

[110] We could try it if you want to try.

[111] I mean, Matt, you seem like you're eager to call me that.

[112] Oh, nanny boy, the pipes, the pipes.

[113] Well, I'm delighted to have you on the show.

[114] You are a very funny and a very nice person.

[115] And I also have to say, you are, of all the guests I've talked to over the years, you're the one, and it's not your fault, but you make me feel very, very old.

[116] I think I was easily, you know, 12 years into my late night show when I had you on and you were a little boy.

[117] and now here you are and you've got this very impressive beard I could not grow that beard without some sort of hormonal treatment and you're one of those people that makes me think what happened I must be 80 years old I met you I think you were 14 or 13 when I met you probably 13 yeah I mean I think I am that for a lot of people I think because I am just like you know I was introduced to the world as like an 11 year old And so when people now see me, it's like, oh, my God, what has happened?

[118] How much time can possibly have passed?

[119] And I now, like, there are people that for me. Like, there was a girl that was the daughter of the makeup artist on Harry Potter was born, basically, just before we started the first film.

[120] And then, like, by the time we finished the film, she was a 10 -year -old child, and then now she is an adult woman.

[121] And, you know, so I'm getting a sense of what that is like, but I am aware that I make people feel very old when I tell them I am 31.

[122] You know, it's also funny because you could have, so much fun with people, you are, through no fault of your own, actually, just because you were talented young man, you're casting this role that became this benchmark for so many people, this generational benchmark.

[123] And so there are a lot of people like me that know you.

[124] I mean, and also you'll find that time accelerates.

[125] I'm talking to you like I'm Yoda.

[126] Accelerates it does.

[127] You'll see.

[128] Things speed up.

[129] So I feel like you make.

[130] You finished the Harry Potter films.

[131] Like, to me, that feels like about four years ago.

[132] But that's because I'm an old fool.

[133] And things have accelerated.

[134] You could freak a lot of people out if you bought a walker or a cane and started using it.

[135] And if people said, Daniel, what's wrong?

[136] You'd be like, oh, it just happens as one gets older.

[137] You'd freak people out.

[138] It'd be so great.

[139] Well, that's the thing.

[140] That may be my actual life one day, and I won't need to pretend.

[141] And then that'll really freak me out.

[142] and everyone else yeah it is it's very um it is it's it's a very uh sort of straining and i also feel that the time accelerating thing even even now that's beginning to feel that and uh yeah it seems like it's crazy we think we finished potter pretty much exactly 10 years ago now and that's the yeah that's really it's crazy i will also say that um when i did go on your show when i was a a child you were like you were so nice and i was so excited and i'm pretty sure i just peppered you with questions about The Simpsons and you were, I just remember it.

[143] It was one of the really, it was one of my only, like, yeah, it was a very nice memory of doing a very crazy thing when you're young.

[144] Oh, that's nice.

[145] I'm glad.

[146] First of all, be really hilarious if your recollection was you came on as a 13 year old boy and I was incredibly cruel to you.

[147] Well, like, I'm not going to go.

[148] Get out of my dressing room.

[149] Do you know who the fuck I am?

[150] I mean, some people are kind of like that.

[151] But that's, so that's what I'm saying, like, no, like it's.

[152] Right.

[153] We're going to name in the next segment.

[154] Yeah, definitely not, but, you know, it was, you were, you know, you were not one of them.

[155] That's right.

[156] You were a big comedy fan even then, and it's nice because there is obviously sprinkled throughout Harry Potter, there's all these comedic moments, but you also so often, and you did it so well, had to play this incredible intensity as things were getting more and more complicated for your character.

[157] And then you've spent, you know, a chunk of your adult performing life being really funny.

[158] You're a very talented comedian.

[159] So it's clear to me that you just had the ear for that.

[160] That's not something that comes later in life.

[161] You have that or you don't.

[162] And the fact that you were kind of obsessed with The Simpsons at such a young age and you were asking me questions about it leads me to believe you just had that early on.

[163] I mean, that's incredibly kind of you'd say thank you um i it's always been like the majority of what i've watched and love watching i was uh i watched the simpsons including like i've probably watched listen to the like the director's commentary and the writers commentary on at least the first like nine 10 seasons of the simpsons between like you know when i was growing up and very very into it and then yeah just a lot of um british stuff like the stuff that we you know we were on the harry potter set but me and particularly matt lewis who played neville were just constantly quoting like quoting Alan Partridge back to each other.

[164] Yes.

[165] Which is something that's never like that hasn't, like not enough, like people obviously know about the like the English office and that's a huge touchstone in America now.

[166] But I do feel like we're trying to explain why Alan Partridge is so brilliant is very, very difficult and it's just, you just, yeah, I want to recommend it to everyone.

[167] I've adored Steve Kugan's work for years and years and used to have him on the late night show and my audience didn't know who he was.

[168] And this was, you know, before he's made, you know, a lot of film since.

[169] But they didn't know Alan Partridge, and I would have him on the show.

[170] And I would say, I don't care if the audience knows him or not.

[171] They just, he needs to be heard.

[172] We need to get the word out on Alan Partridge.

[173] And I look at it and I go, I don't know what's funnier than Steve Coogan as Alan Partridge.

[174] Have you watched it, Matt?

[175] Have you seen Alan Parking?

[176] I used to have the British Import DVDs and a special DVD player.

[177] Just anyone listening right now, if you are just, A true fan of comedy, Steve Coogan, Alan Partridge.

[178] And I'm sure there's a lot of you listening going, we know, Conan, we know because we have a lot of comedy fans that listen.

[179] And so this will sound like I'm telling you about this amazing new drink called water.

[180] But it's interesting to me that when I first met you, you had every right to have sort of a, and I'm sure you've heard this a million times, so we don't have to dwell on it.

[181] But to be that young and to get that seminal role and do it so well, and be such a part of people's lives, you have every right to be a screwed up person.

[182] And I don't know, people must say that to you off.

[183] Yes.

[184] Like, oh, I, you were the child star of a decade and now they must expect a certain behavior from you.

[185] Yeah.

[186] I definitely was very aware early on particularly that, like, oh, people have very low expectations of what I'm going to be like, like which is in a way it's just great because you will kind of hopefully you always exceed them but I mean it yeah I definitely The very fact that you're not on crack right is probably just immediately people are like hey high five Daniel good for Dan good for you I remember like I went out with I was like out with the director and the director of photography on a film I was doing once and we were like having dinner and I told some story about my life like just some like weird story about a thing that had happened to me and I was telling it in a kind of light amused way and we got to the end of it and the DP just looked at me and went how are you not what he swore me he was like how are you not more messed up um and I did that is a reaction that like uh does happen sometimes and I don't really have like a satisfying answer for people ever I don't think um I have like very like good normal parents who were both supportive of me but also like asked me in between every film basically are you still enjoying this?

[187] Are you still having fun?

[188] You do know you don't have to do this and I was always like I really want to do this I hate school so much this is where I would much prefer to be no I'm done being Harry Potter I want to go to school and get into that geometry I've heard so much about, you know, um, but I do think, but I think they were very conscious of like, just as I was conscious of the stereotype of child actors, they were also very conscious of like the cliche of child actor parents and like what that is.

[189] And so they didn't want to be those like pushy parents or type either.

[190] Um, and so, you know, I had them, I had very, I had great parents and, and also, um, also parents who like knew a bit about the industry.

[191] Like my dad had been a literary agent.

[192] They They had both been actors my mum, but had been a casting director.

[193] So they were helpful in terms of guiding me as well.

[194] But I would also say, you know, the other people that I was like, you know, I spent 10 years with, and very formative years were the crew on Potter.

[195] And they remained like the key positions all remained mostly the same.

[196] So they really cared about all the kids.

[197] And there was a really, there was an atmosphere of we love you, but we're also not going to, you know, let you become.

[198] something terrible and monstrous.

[199] Yeah.

[200] And so, you know, I really benefit.

[201] It was very, I was also, it was luck, you know, it's incredibly lucky to be with those people.

[202] So the crew basically beat you every day with sticks.

[203] I mean, like, no, not at all.

[204] But like, but like, but if I, if I needed it, I trust that they would have.

[205] Right, and they were, they were always like, you know, they were never going to let me get cocky and turn into some sort of, you know, asshole.

[206] Can I swear?

[207] I'm sort of shy away from swearing, but am I allowed to swear lightly?

[208] I blame.

[209] Oh, well, you shouldn't.

[210] This is a, this podcast is a filthy, sordid affair.

[211] Okay, fine.

[212] No, but you know, Matt and Sona, they try to keep me humble, but it doesn't work.

[213] I'm a raving, calligula -like figure in their lives.

[214] They try, and then I think they just have given up at a certain point.

[215] There's no stopping.

[216] Whatever happened to me in childhood was not at all related to fame.

[217] I think I was bitten by a radioactive asshole.

[218] It gave me asshole superpowers, don't you think so?

[219] Oh, absolutely.

[220] No, yeah, definitely.

[221] I was just thinking about the other day when you compared yourself to a pharaoh.

[222] Okay, well, we don't need to get into that.

[223] I just was trying to make the point that I can't be, you know, yes, many people are moving the stones and building the pyramid, and my job is to check it out once in a while and eat some figs.

[224] Yes.

[225] Right.

[226] That's all I said.

[227] I think that's a reasonable, reasonable analogy to make.

[228] Very reasonable.

[229] Yeah.

[230] Yeah.

[231] You know, I was very saddened when Alan Rickman passed because I loved him as an actor and he was such a big part of the Harry Potter films.

[232] And I had the chance to interview him long ago on late night.

[233] And I remember thinking, I don't think I did a good job with Alan Rickman because I respected him so much.

[234] But I was just curious what he was like on set.

[235] I mean, he's so formidable as an actor that I was, I think I was.

[236] afraid of him when I was interviewing him.

[237] Yeah.

[238] You know, it was fine, but I left thinking, oh, I think he left unimpressed.

[239] And so I've always, you know, anyway, I thought I'd ask you about it.

[240] I think a lot of us finished working with Alan Ritman and sort of walked out being like, I don't know if I did a good job with Alan Rickman.

[241] Oh, good.

[242] So it's not just me. No, no. I mean, definitely for like, it took until like the third or four, because he is, he's just so good and so effortlessly good.

[243] and so many of the actors that we had on Potter were that and so we were all spoiled but Alan also just yeah in his demeanour and that voice it was like particularly as a child was like vaguely terrifying but then around the time of the third or fourth film I think when he could tell that I was really starting to get into it and like really enjoy being on set for other reasons than just you know not being in school um he he he i think really started taking he was just very always very kind i mean he he saw every bit of theater that i ever did um he at one point cut he cut short his um vacation i think he'd been like holiday in somewhere i think we've been on holiday in canada and he like came he came back to new york early so that he could see me an equest before it closed there um and he like would take me out for dinner and sort of um you know him and his partner rima and we'd he would like not he would give advice but in the least patronizing way in a very like you should look into this because it will it will help build you or like the next stage you need to try and be and you know knowing what I wanted from it as well so yeah he was just um and and you know at his it's I think it was very telling that like at his memorial it was just full of so many people of various ages saying like he was some kind of mentor to me like he was very much yeah um you know somebody that just constantly uh was I mean, yeah, he's one of the many people that you just look and try and learn as much from as possible.

[244] I was introduced to him, I think, like a lot of people in Die Hard, where he is, I think, one of the best movie villains of all time.

[245] And one of the things that I love so much about that character that just delights me every time I see Die Hard, and any time it's on, I'll watch it.

[246] And I swear to God I'm watching it for Alan Rickman, because I love his performance so much, is that he spent years planning this heist, and everything has to be.

[247] to go off just perfectly.

[248] And then they basically come and tell him, sir, there's a policeman we didn't know about.

[249] He's loose.

[250] He took the explosives we need that are key to the whole operation and he's loose in the building and he's killing our men.

[251] And most bad guys at that point would be like, shit!

[252] Let's get out of here!

[253] But he's just like, hmm, intriguing.

[254] And then they come and say, oh, he just killed 50.

[255] 15 more people, and he's took more of the things we need to make this.

[256] And now we're missing nine of the 10 things we need to make this plan work.

[257] And he goes, hmm, police, man, eh, well, we'll just see, won't we?

[258] And I'm like, I wish I was like that in life.

[259] Conan, you know, like, horrible thing just happened.

[260] Your house is on fire.

[261] I'm intrigued.

[262] No, he isn't.

[263] I mean, that's the thing.

[264] He's also, he's so funny.

[265] That's the thing.

[266] He is also, he's capable of being incredible.

[267] emotional actor but also just like him in galaxy quest as well i mean like he is just like he's so brilliant and dry and that's what like that was the real kind of trip i remember he he came to see that when he did it in london and he took he was very good friends with richard griffis who's another of the the funniest people that i've got to work with and and uh they were friends and we all went out for dinner afterwards and suddenly having spent many years with alan on set and being like kind of intimidated by him suddenly i was like at dinner with him And after, like, a theater show that I had been in.

[268] And he was, like, telling stories and being, like, incredibly, like, funny and self -deprecating.

[269] And, like, you know, just, yeah, it was one of those, you really feel it was a real treat to be there.

[270] You bring up equest, your theater work, and I do applaud you because I think you've done such a good job of building your career.

[271] I mean, obviously, you come off all these Harry Potter films and you were, you know, I credit you.

[272] You were very smart about building yourself as an actor and choosing who you work with.

[273] You may or may not know, I'm a massive fan of Simon Ritches.

[274] Oh, yeah.

[275] He's a massive fan.

[276] And he's the real deal.

[277] And he has, I read his prose.

[278] I read his short stories that he's done for the New York and his collection stories.

[279] And he's, you know, I think, oh, this is this is up there this is classic american comedic prose you know and it just makes me and and so the fact that that you guys found each other for miracle workers uh that that just feels like you have you have such a good ear for who to work with who to be with what to do next you know and and obviously working with ste Bechemy and so i don't know i'm very uh it's funny because i met you when you were 13 I sometimes have this weird feeling of, I'm very proud of Danny.

[280] I'm like, I had nothing, I had nothing to do with you.

[281] But sometimes I pretend I'm your father.

[282] I think Daniels handled, well, Conan, if you're his father, why aren't you around him more?

[283] Well, I'm a heavy drinker and I left the family.

[284] But maybe I can just pretend I'm your like American, you know, second father.

[285] But I'm very, I don't know, very, very, very proud of what you've managed to do and what you've managed to build.

[286] Thank you.

[287] Thank you so much.

[288] I mean, yeah, I've been very lucky.

[289] I think there was a number of people after Potter finished.

[290] There was always the idea that, oh, you're going to be typecast as this thing or pigeonholers this thing, whatever that.

[291] I got asked that a lot sort of at the time.

[292] But for every person there was that was like, oh, I only see you as Harry Potter.

[293] There was somebody out there who was like, oh, I would like the chance to be the director who shows you.

[294] in a new light like that's like uh an exciting prospect to somebody as well so like you it wasn't i feel like i got a lot of amazing opportunities straight after and a couple of people like took chances on me like the the people who put equest together when i had never done a play before um or you know um john cricketer so you let me play like alan ginsberg in a film um you know there's definitely people that like gave me those opportunities and you just take them sort of as they come and and trying to make the best of them and also i was in the position to just do stuff that i liked and not have to do stuff that.

[295] I mean, I'm, and I've generally stuck to that.

[296] Like, I think there were a couple of things I've done that I was like, have maybe slightly done for the wrong reasons of like thinking it was a smart thing to do rather than actually like want and like loving it.

[297] And, and the thing I mainly took away from them was like, oh, you, you were in the position of only having to do things you love.

[298] So for as long as you're in that position, you might as well just stick to that.

[299] And then, I mean, Miracle Workers and Simon, I read the, I read is the book What in God's name that the first season which I was based on and I was just like this is it's very I think making somebody laugh out loud from a novel or from a short story is such an incredible skill and they are just they're also they're incredibly funny and there's real like darkness and cynicism to the humor but there's also a real warmth and kindness to it that I really enjoy and so the chance to like spend several seasons in that kind of of world is a real it's a dream job well i also love what i love about miracle workers too which i think is such a smart move is that it resets after every season so you can go from you can explore the the middle ages but you wisely i think no well we can't stay there right you know i mean you would love to but you get all the best pulp out of that and then you can reset and say okay now we're on the Oregon trail and completely reset which i think is kind of i guess what black i mean black adder another show that I, Rowan Atkinson, who I was obsessed with in the 80s and I was obsessed with Blackadder and I just thought the level of the writing and performing on this show at the time, I thought that's so much better than anything we have in America.

[300] Black Adder is incredible.

[301] And that's the only thing I can think to compare it to either in terms of the sort of dumping around in different historical periods, which is sort of where we've now got to with Miracle Workers over the last couple of seasons.

[302] But yeah, I mean, one of the one of the things, Simon said before we did the first season was none of us had an interest in doing something that was a story that you just had to keep going infinitely.

[303] You know, we wanted to, Simon wanted to write something with the beginning, middle, and end as the novel had been, rather than trying to make something that was kind of open -ended.

[304] And for me, that, like, fit my purposes exactly because I just, you know, I played Harry Potter for 10 years, so I'd like the idea of not playing one character for a long time again, if possible.

[305] Well, I'll tell you, I've been playing Conan O 'Brien for 28 years.

[306] Thank you.

[307] Well, apparently no one else wants to do it.

[308] They actually had an open casting call and people said no. No one wanted to wear that wig, have that name, talk like that and act like that.

[309] So remember that, Sona?

[310] We had a huge cattle call.

[311] Oh, it's huge.

[312] Who wants to play Conan?

[313] Cast a wide net.

[314] No one bit.

[315] Offered millions of dollars.

[316] No one wanted it.

[317] No one.

[318] But, you know, it's a huge.

[319] makes me curious, like there must be stuff out there, like a wild swing that you'd love to take someday, whether it's in action or some kind of movie that no, like disaster movies.

[320] I heard that you might, that that was one of your fantasies was to be in an insane disaster movie.

[321] I mean, yeah, I do.

[322] I like, I love a massive, like, either monster B movie or disaster movie or some kind.

[323] I just watched, this is relevant to nothing.

[324] It's not really a disaster movie, but I watched Congo the other day for the first time.

[325] And it was, because it was on.

[326] lots of lists of like sort of like not great films or whatever and I like I enjoy films that are generally not here.

[327] Congo is fantastic.

[328] I will stand up for that film.

[329] I went to college with the girl that played the main gorilla in that.

[330] Wait, the Amy?

[331] What?

[332] Yeah.

[333] There were two actresses that I also looked this up because I was like, who's in the gorilla costume?

[334] They're doing fantastic work.

[335] Lorraine no. Yeah.

[336] You went to college with her?

[337] Yeah.

[338] And she got pulled away from the theater department and she just disappeared.

[339] And when she came back, she was like, I was a gorilla in this big movie.

[340] In that telling, it sounds like she was abducted to be in.

[341] Yeah, she might have been, I understand that's how they do it.

[342] That's sometimes how it happens, yeah.

[343] Yeah, you tell me. I mean, didn't they just take you out of school one day, Daniel, and not tell you what was going on?

[344] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[345] And then 10 years later, they released you.

[346] Yeah, either getting checked for lice or put in a major motion picture.

[347] So, so, yeah, you watch Congo and.

[348] Yeah, but I do, I would love that.

[349] There's no, like, in terms of like wild swing, it's always hard to say, like, I would definitely be in a disaster movie if I, if I loved the script and like that sounded, that sounded fun, like, 100%.

[350] I think that, like, in terms of, like, an actual, like, thing, I would consider a big swing that I know I do want to do, like, I want to, like, write and direct and then do that at some point.

[351] And that feels, like, way riskier because there's, you know, no evidence that I'll be good in that, other than just, like, a feeling of, I've been here a while, it should be.

[352] Well, but the other thing, too, is you have my one, I always think what would be the one piece of advice I would give to young people if anyone was listening?

[353] And sometimes I think it is give things a shot because you have less to lose than you think you do.

[354] We're so afraid of the humiliation.

[355] And it is painful to fail at things.

[356] It's very painful.

[357] But if you can set that aside and go for it, it really does.

[358] Usually, even if the project doesn't work out the way you wanted it to, I don't think you ever regret giving it a shot.

[359] You don't.

[360] So why not?

[361] That's hopefully on the cards in the next few years.

[362] But yeah, and as you say, failure is in, like, yeah, there's always something to learn from it and feel like.

[363] I mean, I'm somebody who's like, a lot of other people would be like, you haven't experienced much failure.

[364] But I look at some of my acting and I go, that's, there's some failure in that acting.

[365] But, like, particularly, you know, when I was, like, young, young.

[366] So I think, yeah, it's definitely something that you're always, like, going to glean something from.

[367] Well, and I, you're clearly beating around the bush, but I will.

[368] be the star of that movie you write and direct.

[369] Thank you.

[370] I accept.

[371] Daniel, I accept.

[372] It's really, really nice of you to do at that.

[373] I've never acted, but I, too, have to just give things a try.

[374] So you heard it here, ladies and gentlemen.

[375] Yeah, you're in.

[376] You're joking around, but your agent or somebody's going to be really angry when I called him later and said he said, and I haven't recorded it.

[377] I don't have one anymore.

[378] Okay.

[379] They left me. They left me. They said not enough was coming in.

[380] It could be me or Ed Sheeran.

[381] You know, just one of us.

[382] We're pretty much the same person.

[383] You know, it's so funny because I was thinking about this.

[384] Like, would you want to, if they said, oh, just for fun, and they said, Daniel, do you want to be in a, Dan, sorry, Dan, do you want to be in a Fast and Furious 10?

[385] Because those movies, I have such a fascination with those films.

[386] And there's a new one coming out now, and I am going to go to the movie theater and watch it.

[387] because the way you have an obsession with Congo, I have an obsession with the Fast and Furious franchise starting with like the fourth or fifth one when they completely lost their minds.

[388] Yeah, but they're great.

[389] They completely lost their minds.

[390] Whoever's behind that thing went insane and they just keep making more and more money.

[391] And so I just watch them.

[392] This will be 10 coming up the next one, right?

[393] This will be nine.

[394] I think the one that's coming out.

[395] By the time people hear this, yeah, nine will have been out.

[396] I mean, that's, you know, that is incredible.

[397] And, like, they are, but I would, I would love to be in a movie like that, but, like, only in that case, in the instance of those films, if I could have, like, a non -driving part, that'd be great.

[398] There's no such thing.

[399] There's no such thing as a non -driving part.

[400] I guess that's the thing.

[401] Driving, driving on camera is the single, is maybe the part of my job I hate the most.

[402] I barely drive in real life.

[403] if I have a license and I, but I really, I'm not good at it and don't really do it.

[404] And so, trying to hit a mark in a car is my, is my most hated part of it.

[405] But, yeah, so some nice, I could be, you know, I could be, a sort of, I could do some of the admin.

[406] I'm sure they must need a lot of that.

[407] There must be an administration guy there.

[408] You're the one doing everyone's dental plan.

[409] somebody's going to be a lot of these guys.

[410] For Vin Diesel and the rest of the family.

[411] I just love that, no matter what the problem they're presented with, it always involves seven cars.

[412] And so the problem could be, well, there's someone's embezzling at this firm.

[413] And so what we should probably do is go in and look at the books and do an audit and then prove that this person embezzled and then arrest them.

[414] What do you guys think?

[415] We have a better idea.

[416] It involves seven cars all crashing into the building at the same time.

[417] But this is the same problem you have with chips.

[418] that everything has to happen on.

[419] It's the same obsession I have with chips, which is every problem, every crime must be committed on a dreary highway in Los Angeles.

[420] And the only way to, if it's an art forgery, the art forgeries are doing the forging in the back of a semi -truck that's going 65 miles an hour on the 405 freeway and the only people to stop them are two guys on motorcycles.

[421] But I want you to, I want you in that franchise.

[422] Yeah, and that's when my guy would come in.

[423] There's the admin go when they have that embezzlement case, they'd be planning the seven cars and I'd be there going, guys, this is all unnecessary.

[424] This is exactly what I do.

[425] I checked, we need permits if we're going to shut down the streets.

[426] And it's a two -month lead time for these permits.

[427] So what I suggest is we hire an accountant.

[428] We go in and we do some forensic accounting.

[429] Yeah.

[430] And then they just tape your mouth shut and stick you in a barrel.

[431] Hey, if the producer franchise are interested, I'm into it.

[432] Let me ask you about your podcast, which is called, you do it with your friend David Holmes.

[433] Oh, thank you so much for mentioning that.

[434] Oh, yeah, of course.

[435] You know, but it's kind of fascinating, and you're in David's relationship is kind of fascinating because this is a podcast you do with the guy who was your stunt double.

[436] Is that right for many years?

[437] Yeah, so Davey was my stunt double on Potter.

[438] The podcast is called.

[439] cunning stunts and it's a which you know I'm sorry to anybody who has to say that instead of me and he just don't have a few drinks and try to say it I had a few drinks and tried to announce it into a microphone of 800 people and I was arrested so yeah basically Davey was kind of like an older brother figure to me in many ways like when we met I was I guess 10 or 11 he was about 17 which at the time is like a mass now we're just two men in our 30s but like at the time is huge and um he was my stunt doubled through films uh one through six and then on at uh prior to um the start of the seventh film filming um he was testing a stunt and he uh it went very very badly wrong and he became paralyzed um and he is and he is and he is still um and but he's you know so to watch this person who was like this incredible figure in my life but was like a real he you know he was like a gymnast before he was like he was like his physicality was like a huge part of his identity and to watch that person then like have to like rediscover who they are from the ground up at that at that point um he's just been like he's one of the most incredible people I know and and we're trying to do something hopefully bigger just about kind of uh Dave's story at some point but um but yeah we've also we've done this podcast which is basically Dave and occasionally me jumping in really badly I hate listening to myself on this I don't know how you guys do it but like I'm I'm not a good interviewer Dave actually has become like a really good interviewer through it but he into talking to other stunt guys and and girls about their experiences in the industry and you know kind of how they came into it and and what it's like to to do stunts on a on a film and but I like to think that because it's Dave interviewing people there is like a a very kind of casual nature to the conversation where people are telling some like really, really cool stories.

[440] I have so much respect for stunt people and in the last 28 years of doing a lot of physical comedy.

[441] I'm always amazed that someone's just about to throw me through a window and then they say cut and this guy who's exactly my height with a ridiculous pompadour wig strapped to his head, which is actually more dangerous than any stunt he's going to do, is then thrown through the window.

[442] So there's a part of me that is secretly wants to do it because I grew up with a lot of brothers and we were constantly actually throwing each other out of them to us.

[443] And so I was part of me that wants to do it.

[444] And then I see what they're doing and how much, what a, you know, craft and what's involved.

[445] And so my hat's off and what your friend David went through.

[446] It just sounds terrible, but it sounds like he has risen to the challenge of, of, of, you know, remaking his his life in light of something like that which is just horrific yeah in a way that i'm i'm not sure i know anyone else that could like yeah he's just he's incredible and yeah what a lot of people i think the fact that we call them stunts like uh hides what they do with a layer of mystery where people are like you know there is no like stunt to falling down a flight of stairs you just fall down flight of stairs you do it and you there are people that can do it like really well and you'll have pads on sometimes but like and you can protect yourself a bit but ultimately you're still doing the thing.

[447] Like, there's no, you know, when there was a thing I did on a job once where somebody had to, it was like picked up on a wire and they went through the air and then something redirected them and they had to like hit the side of a tree.

[448] And it was just a real tree.

[449] And he hits it like at speed several times.

[450] You know, they're just, they are just incredibly tough and they love it and it and, you know, and but you also do, you definitely see directors sometimes for, I do think, forget that some people are people and it's like great that was really good let's have another like well if it's good don't make them do it again that's you wouldn't want to do that more times than was necessary um right but yeah stunts are also like if you if you have occasion to hang out on a film set for any reason stunts are generally a really cool fun department to like try and embed with and hang out with they're very they're generally really awesome people yeah i immediately always size them up as being much better and more impressive than me You said about wanting to try and have a go at it.

[451] I recently had a moment of that on Miracle Workers.

[452] There's a scene where my character like runs and jumps off like conveniently placed stump of a tree and jumps from that onto a horse, onto his horse.

[453] And I watched the rehearse and I was like, I reckon I can have a go at that.

[454] And it was like, I'm going to make my excuses now.

[455] It was slightly uphill, so I kind of underestimated how hard I'd have to jump, but I was like, and I said to the stunt coordinator, can I, can I try that?

[456] And he was like, yeah, you absolutely can.

[457] But like, don't worry, Gatlin, who was my stunt double on it, was, is also like here.

[458] And I was like, I was like, I'll probably fail, but like, I'd like to have a go secretly thinking, you're not going to fail, you're going to make this jump.

[459] And then I did it kind of, but like, in a, I just, it was very messy and ugly.

[460] And then I watched Gatlin do it on the next take and just like bound off this tree stump and.

[461] perfectly land on top of the horse and I was like, yeah, why would I want to see, why would I want to, why would I want to subject people to me?

[462] The horse turned you and said, that's how it's done.

[463] It was really, I'm sorry.

[464] There's a talking horse.

[465] Who then threw shade at Daniel Radcliffe.

[466] That's what's happening in my mind.

[467] It was pure humorous.

[468] Humiliated by a horse.

[469] Daniel, I have to say I was driving over here to the studio and really looking forward to talking to you because, as I said, for no reason whatsoever, I'm proud of you in this paternal way that I have not earned.

[470] But I really am.

[471] You're an exceptionally talented and nice fellow.

[472] And I'm very happy and impressed with what you've managed to do because there are many people who would think the Harry Potter franchise is a lottery ticket.

[473] it and we both know all too well that those are situations that are they give and they take and they're very fraught and it takes an exceptional person to navigate that and you are that person so wow thank you thank you so much for talking to me no thank you so much having me on it's lovely to every other time we've done this has been like on your show which has been lovely but very quick so it's lovely to have like longer to chat this has been awesome yeah it's uh it goes one of two ways people either learn that they really enjoy talking to me or they quickly realize no No, six minutes is about all.

[474] Hey, Daniels, best of luck with this project that you're working on now.

[475] And I look forward to running into you soon in the near future.

[476] And keep at it and my best to Mr. Rich.

[477] Yeah, he did the first few series and they were amazing.

[478] But I should shout out Dan Muck and Robert Padnick, who did this season.

[479] Yes.

[480] But yes, I feel like everything else we said about it stands.

[481] The first two, you know, it still all applies.

[482] Hey, thanks so much.

[483] And I'll talk to you soon.

[484] you very much, Conan.

[485] Thank you, everybody.

[486] All right, this is a big moment on the podcast because, as we know, Sona's about to give birth to twins, which means that things are going to change around here, and there's a bit of a transition and process.

[487] Conan, Sona, we also are welcoming someone very special here today.

[488] David Hopping, David, welcome.

[489] Thank you.

[490] David Hopping, let me explain, is going to be filling in for Sona.

[491] David's been with the show.

[492] How many years are you doing on the show, David?

[493] Around four, four years.

[494] Okay, four years.

[495] Almost five, 2016.

[496] Okay.

[497] You know, one thing we do in this podcast is we keep the answers kind of terse.

[498] So no one cares, it's four or five.

[499] Someone might.

[500] No. One person.

[501] My mom cares.

[502] Even your mom is like, whatever, David, move on.

[503] She's so happy.

[504] She's at home.

[505] She's so glad I'm not in Illinois.

[506] She's at home saying, that's so David.

[507] Four.

[508] No, five.

[509] No, wait, four.

[510] No, four and a half.

[511] David, you've been on the podcast before.

[512] Remember in the first quarantine episode?

[513] So listeners might know, David.

[514] David, you have taken on a very sacred role.

[515] Sona, many people say, is the beating heart of the podcast.

[516] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[517] I am the mind.

[518] Sona is the heart.

[519] And Matt Gourley is, there's an organ behind the spleen that we don't know what it does.

[520] Some people think it's just a piece of cartilage.

[521] But people are saying I'm the libido of the podcast.

[522] Hey, there you go.

[523] Yeah, I suppose, I suppose.

[524] Sexual energy.

[525] You're the sexual energy that, uh, I mean, just look at me. I'm in a plaid shirt.

[526] In a plaid shirt.

[527] Yep, you are raw sex appeal.

[528] But this is an important time for us because while you're here, Sona, you need to help David understand what his role on the podcast is going to be.

[529] now he has worked at the show, as he said, for five years.

[530] Yeah.

[531] But he may not know what his job is here, and it would probably make sense for you to try and walk him through it.

[532] So, wait.

[533] Yeah, we should be clear.

[534] Taking over for me on the podcast as well?

[535] I just thought as your sister.

[536] Oh, this is breaking news.

[537] What are you doing?

[538] Well, I assumed that if you're leaving, we need another person here.

[539] It's, you know, there's got to be three of us.

[540] Okay.

[541] All right, no, that's cool.

[542] I think David probably wanted to know that as well.

[543] And now I do.

[544] So it would have been nice information for David to know.

[545] Yeah, I'm just assuming we need a third voice.

[546] There is no, the strongest shape is the triangle.

[547] Huh, okay.

[548] I think, I don't even think that's true.

[549] I just said that.

[550] I'm with you, though, just so long as it doesn't have to be you and me awkwardly trying to get through an intro.

[551] It would be nice to have David there.

[552] Well, the first thing, David, is communication is lacking on this entire.

[553] Oh, you weren't aware that David's going to be filling in your role in the podcast.

[554] I don't think anyone was aware until right now.

[555] Am I wrong?

[556] Hey, wait a minute.

[557] Maybe I'm wrong.

[558] I just assumed that was a good idea.

[559] Adam, what's happening here?

[560] Am I right?

[561] Yeah.

[562] I mean, I think that's a good idea.

[563] But the conversation was going to be about David kind of filling in persona as your assistant and getting up to speed on with that.

[564] Oh, I thought we were permanently replacing.

[565] I thought we were permanently replacing Sona.

[566] Permanently?

[567] Well, yeah.

[568] You're a mom now.

[569] You can't be doing this shit.

[570] What are you talking about?

[571] I assumed that we were getting rid of Sona.

[572] She's out the door and we're bringing David in.

[573] Oh, my God.

[574] David, run away as fast as you pot.

[575] Oh, yeah.

[576] You don't want to make a lot of money just gabbing on the radio occasionally with a comedic legend.

[577] Who needs that?

[578] Come on.

[579] I'm not a comedic legend.

[580] You are.

[581] You are considered a comedic legend.

[582] Weren't you a voice at Disneyland?

[583] Yeah.

[584] I was a trash can.

[585] There you go.

[586] And you know what?

[587] To me, you'll always be a trash can.

[588] Oh, that's sweet.

[589] No, no, I don't.

[590] I just think he's here today.

[591] And I'm going to be honest with you.

[592] I think if he hits it out of the park today, who knows, this could be it.

[593] This could be your farewell episode, Sona.

[594] So just you've got to, you got to be on your toes today, Sona.

[595] What the hell is this?

[596] I like to pit people against each other.

[597] That's what Lauren did at Sarnat Live.

[598] Oh, come on.

[599] And it made that show hum.

[600] You know, did you see that your rival got a sketch on?

[601] Are you feeling nervous, Conan?

[602] Oh, look, rival.

[603] Now Conan's doing well.

[604] You know, that's the kind of thing that makes that show so superlative.

[605] And that's what I want to do here.

[606] I want to pit you and, is it David?

[607] Okay, yeah.

[608] I want to pit you and David against each other and see, you know, and that's going to make both of you fantastic.

[609] You can't.

[610] You know why?

[611] Because we've already established David and I are a team were allies and you are the enemy.

[612] So this is how we approach this entire thing.

[613] You stand to gain.

[614] You stand a gain here, David.

[615] This could really change your life.

[616] Oh, wow.

[617] David, how old are you?

[618] 29.

[619] You're 29 years old.

[620] Yeah.

[621] I don't know what your income is, but...

[622] You're his boss.

[623] Do you want to give me more while we're here?

[624] Look, I don't...

[625] Does the pharaoh know every detail of the pyramid's construction?

[626] No. He visits the pyramid every couple of months and eats a fig and takes a fig and takes a look at it and says looks okay to me, then tens of thousands of people with very short life expectancies move the stones around.

[627] That's sort of my role.

[628] I'm the pharaoh.

[629] So I don't know exactly what you make, but I imagine if you became a regular part of the podcast, you would bump up quite a bit in your life.

[630] So can I get this straight?

[631] I'm sorry, real quick.

[632] Are you firing me because I'm having babies?

[633] I looked into this.

[634] You know what?

[635] I looked into this, Sonner.

[636] And trust me, I looked into it.

[637] I got, oh my, I got so many lawyers involved.

[638] No, I am not firing you because you're having babies because I'm told that plan that I had is not legal and is morally wrong.

[639] Okay, good.

[640] So that's not happening.

[641] Okay.

[642] You had to be told that is morally wrong.

[643] Okay.

[644] It doesn't, either way, I think we've come to a good conclusion for you, which is that you will be welcome back with open arms as soon as you're ready to return here.

[645] Okay.

[646] At a reduced salary.

[647] Oh.

[648] Hey, there it is.

[649] Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think there's a law against that.

[650] There is.

[651] Oh, right.

[652] They did tell me that.

[653] Yeah, there is.

[654] You know what?

[655] You know what?

[656] I keep forgetting what the lawyers told me. Yes, that's right.

[657] Yes.

[658] Same salary or probably even higher.

[659] Yeah.

[660] Yeah.

[661] I'm sorry.

[662] I have my plots and schemes, and then it's very good.

[663] They always bring lawyers in to explain to me that I can't do that.

[664] That that hasn't been, most of what I want to do to the staff hasn't been legal since 1840 1840 in England and 1978 in America So a lot of this seems like common sense though But it does You'd think But it really isn't As I'm proof But let's let's start with then Let's say that He's not replacing you on the podcast I was trying to pull a fast one Okay And seeing if I could Maybe you'd just go Oh good for you And then I would have Audio record of you resigning That didn't happen You were trying to bait me into quitting.

[665] I just thought maybe it would happen and we would have what my lawyers said was proof.

[666] I also think there would be an uproar if Sona permanently left the pot.

[667] If Sona goes, I go for sure.

[668] Oh, that's nice.

[669] Oh, you're going to go to one of your other hit podcast, me and Mr. Quibbles.

[670] Ships in a bottle talk.

[671] Matt, you should just go on maturity leave with me. Of course, I'm being funny.

[672] I have to point that out because that's what really funny people do.

[673] But my point is this.

[674] Matt Garley is a very successful podcast long before I stumbled on to this scene.

[675] I make these jokes, but they're absurd and they're wrong.

[676] I denigrate you for no reason, Matt, and I should be honoring you instead.

[677] Sona, of course, you're always welcome here.

[678] You are the heart, as I said, as a podcast.

[679] Oh, that's nice.

[680] And had you voluntarily been tricked into resigning, I might have taken you up on it, but you didn't.

[681] And so you will be returning soon, I hope.

[682] I waste a lot of time on this segment trying to trick Sona.

[683] into resigning.

[684] It didn't work.

[685] But now we get to the meat of the issue, which is Sona is going to explain her duties, and this is going to be hilarious because I think she has no idea what a professional assistant does.

[686] So tune in to that wonderful piece of chicanery and tomfoolery on the next episode of Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[687] Wow, this is exciting.

[688] This is our first ever segment cliffhanger.

[689] Yeah, what a cliffhanger.

[690] This is our, this is, instead of who shot Jay, are, or what is Rosebud mean, our version of that on this show is Sona explains what an assistant does to a relative stranger.

[691] It gives me time to figure it out.

[692] Yeah.

[693] We'll see you next week.

[694] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Goreley.

[695] Produced by me, Matt Goreley.

[696] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.

[697] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[698] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[699] Take it away, Jimmy.

[700] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

[701] Engineering by Will Beckton.

[702] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

[703] You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

[704] Got a question for Conan?

[705] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.

[706] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[707] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[708] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.