Kristen Bell Returns

[0] Welcome, welcome.

[1] Welcome to Armchair Expert.

[2] I'm Dan Rathers and I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

[3] Good morning.

[4] Good morning to you.

[5] Maybe people don't know this, but Rob writes an intro for us.

[6] So like he'll remind us of what people's credits are or whatnot.

[7] That's right.

[8] So can I read you the intro?

[9] He prepared for today.

[10] Oh, my God.

[11] Yes.

[12] Kristen Bell is podcaster, Dak Shepard's wife.

[13] Oh, we love that, Rob.

[14] Podcast.

[15] Good job, Wobby Wob.

[16] Yeah, so my lovely bride is on today, and we're going to talk about our new show Family Game Fight, which will be debuting, well, the very first episode will have come after the Olympics.

[17] Last night.

[18] Last night.

[19] But we will have all new episodes every Wednesday, starting this Wednesday, at 9 p .m. Eastern and Pacific on NBC.

[20] And really importantly, we're going back out on the road.

[21] That is right.

[22] I'm so excited.

[23] Me too.

[24] We just did the math the other day and it was way longer than I certainly thought.

[25] It's been almost two years.

[26] Yeah.

[27] We are going to be doing a live taping of arm -chared and dangerous in Salt Lake City on Thursday, September 16th at the Eccles Theater or Essel's Theater.

[28] I don't know.

[29] It's E -C -C -L -E -S and I'm dyslexic.

[30] So God knows.

[31] If you live in Salt Lake City, hopefully you know.

[32] And no disrespect for Eccles or Eccles' theater.

[33] I just can't pronounce the word.

[34] Anyways, And the tickets go on sale this Friday, August 13th, at 10 a .m. local Utah time.

[35] Wait to you'll see David Ferrier in person.

[36] What a babe machine.

[37] Yeah.

[38] He takes your breath away a little.

[39] He does.

[40] You catch your breath.

[41] Visit armchairexpertpod .com for the ticket link.

[42] Again, 10 a .m. tickets go on sale on Friday.

[43] Go to armchairexpertpod .com if you want to come see armchared and dangerous in Salt Lake City.

[44] On Thursday, September 16th, please enjoy Kristen Bell.

[45] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[46] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[47] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[48] He's an armchair expert.

[49] He's an upchair next to what happened?

[50] She sent us a text about this neuroscientist who was talking about what Simone Biles.

[51] She's a mental performance coach and also a neuroscientist.

[52] since Simone Biles had been talking about this twisties thing that she was experiencing.

[53] She was explaining it and that it's experienced by some of these gymnasts and athletes where they think it's related to mental stress in addition to what they're physically doing where the twisties are, you can't actually tell what the floor or the ceiling is.

[54] Sure.

[55] You don't know where you are.

[56] And so they're like - You get disoriented.

[57] Yeah, but I think it's way worse than disoriented.

[58] Like if you perform on it, if you even have a touch of it, you're at risk.

[59] Especially if you're flipping on a four -inch piece of wood.

[60] Yeah, when she almost landed on her back, she was like, I had the Twisties.

[61] I couldn't figure out where I was supposed to land.

[62] That was so interesting.

[63] Was she calling it the Twisties?

[64] Simone, yeah.

[65] Oh, wow.

[66] I guess that's the medical term.

[67] Oh, wow.

[68] That's what they call it.

[69] The Twisties.

[70] I had never heard of it before, but then this woman explained it, and I thought she was so interesting.

[71] So I sent you guys an information on her, and I'll send you her profile, but my phone is dead.

[72] That makes me think of two things.

[73] Okay.

[74] Instrumentation and an airplane, if you're not instrument trained and you get into like a really dense cloud, you can lose complete perspective on what's up or down.

[75] So people like crash into the ground because they are so confused.

[76] Secondly, I learned this tip on a Discovery Channel show.

[77] If you ever find yourself in an avalanche and you're buried in snow, you can't tell which direction you should be digging.

[78] Spit?

[79] I've heard that.

[80] Yeah, you let spit run out of your mouth or pay attention which way the tears in your eyes are falling.

[81] When you're crying, and then go in the opposite direction.

[82] Crying about not being able to get out of the snow.

[83] But aren't they just immediately freezing on your face?

[84] Like, can you even really cry or spit?

[85] Well, it's not like negative 200.

[86] Have you ever been an amalant?

[87] No. I never even brag about it.

[88] But I've checked the temps of all the avalanches that have ever happened, and none of them had been below negative 200.

[89] Yeah.

[90] It would freeze on contact.

[91] Bell has a little chart in her closet.

[92] I don't know if you've seen it.

[93] Wow.

[94] It's mostly avalanches.

[95] Some tornadoes and hurricanes I've been tracking as well.

[96] You're a bit of an armchair meteorology.

[97] Yeah.

[98] Well, I want to know how many cows.

[99] have been picked up.

[100] Uh -huh.

[101] So I track the tornadoes for that.

[102] Because you also know how many cows there are on land.

[103] Right.

[104] So if one gets picked up, you have to track that.

[105] Well, I deduct it.

[106] I don't just track it.

[107] You've got a count for it.

[108] Oh, my God.

[109] I got a cow count.

[110] Cow count.

[111] As I call you.

[112] Oh, my gosh.

[113] But this is bore.

[114] I mean, you guys know this.

[115] I know, but I don't know that all the arm cherries know about your charting and your tracking and a count, accounting.

[116] Accounting, yeah.

[117] I'm sure you guys.

[118] and the armcheries would know, cows are the cutest animals on the planet.

[119] If you really analyze their face, dogs are up there, but some dogs busted.

[120] Tell me about it, they're yours.

[121] Like you punch them in the face, 100 % ours.

[122] Well, ours are busted because they're not bathed.

[123] They're dirty, they're filthy.

[124] But some dogs actually look rotten.

[125] That's true.

[126] They're decomposing.

[127] Like they're decomposing.

[128] Like they don't have a snout.

[129] Their nose is in the center of their skull.

[130] They're turned.

[131] Cows.

[132] They don't really turn.

[133] pretty standard and if you really look at their eyes and their lashes they're the cutest animals this is actually new information i didn't know that you liked cows as much as you're saying you do i know you love all animals but but i got to say i wouldn't have guessed that if i was hearing her say this i would be like that's bullshit i've seen them driving down the road they're not they're just okay they look like plywood just standing about to fall over but having worked on the ranch and had these cows in many scenes and you're just sitting there with the cow for hours sometimes their humongous ping pong ball eye looks at you and you go oh hi and then they're crazy cute they look like they have no purpose they're just like hey i see you i'm here we're both here you know who has the prettiest eyelashes the only animal that i think looks maybe not the only one feminine like where you'd say pretty in the way a woman's pretty is those bacterian camels Remember, our friend John had a factory and camel And the lady was so feminine Very attracted to her, yeah Well, it appeared that John was really attracted to her The camel?

[134] The lady was the camel Oh female camel, bactrian camel, female Okay Did you write been second female?

[135] Oh, female It's got to be female.

[136] They look so feminine There's so much sex there They're very sexually A little closer, right?

[137] Oh, yeah, that's a girl with like a short hairdo.

[138] Yeah, she's sweet, yeah.

[139] That makes me think of the Shaw Day song.

[140] Remember when your mama used to say, Shaday, don't you come home too late?

[141] That's what that camel looks like.

[142] I'm screencapping this in case you guys want to put it on your feed so people know what we're talking about.

[143] That's a great idea.

[144] If you had to have sex with one animal.

[145] Good question.

[146] Really good.

[147] That's the kind of question I would ask normally.

[148] I know.

[149] And you'd be upset at me. But here we are.

[150] And I'm proud of you.

[151] Yeah, why would you not let him ask it and you can ask me it?

[152] Because the patriarchy.

[153] But you're putting me on the spot.

[154] So now you're joining the patriarchy and on the opposite side of me. I can't join the patriarchy.

[155] We're both matriarchs.

[156] Right.

[157] But I don't want you to treat me like you're the patriarchy.

[158] Okay.

[159] If I want to answer that question, I don't want to have sex with the animals.

[160] Okay, I'm not going to make you answer it.

[161] But I will ask death.

[162] Then I am flipping it.

[163] That's true.

[164] Do you think that if anyone's listening to this in the car, they're going to crash just to get out of this conversation?

[165] Perhaps.

[166] Yeah.

[167] That's likely.

[168] Yeah.

[169] It happens all the time.

[170] By the way, thank God it's underreported.

[171] But like 1 % of our audience ends their life as a result of our conversation.

[172] I bet if they were going to crash and then they heard me ask if you could have sex with one animal.

[173] They redirected.

[174] I completely agree.

[175] You're saving people's lives.

[176] I'd called you out like you were being mischievous and naughty and really you were saving some of your fans' lives.

[177] Okay, let's go back to what animal would you have sex with?

[178] Because I start from an ethical place.

[179] Like, which animal would probably like to have sex with a human?

[180] Because that varies greatly.

[181] A bunny rabbit does not want to have sex with a human being.

[182] It's dangerous.

[183] Okay, a mouse, don't do it.

[184] A bonobo chimpanzees probably down to party.

[185] They're all bisexual.

[186] They're having sex all day long.

[187] They're having oral sex.

[188] They're masturbating.

[189] Like, they're sexual.

[190] They probably would enjoy it.

[191] If you gave them the option, they might like it.

[192] As we know, dolphins are very attracted to humans.

[193] So for you guys, if you guys had sex with a dolphin, I don't see the ethical dilemma because they would initiate it.

[194] Okay, well, now, hold on.

[195] You just changed a little bit of the question for me because the reason I can't even participate in this conversation is because consent begins any sexual experience for me. I can't really even theoretically have like a bunch of conversations in my head unless there's consent theirs.

[196] But if you're like the animals instigating it, I can go with the flow of this question.

[197] but then my consent comes into it.

[198] I don't want to have sex with a dolphin or a bonobo.

[199] Yeah.

[200] I know that.

[201] That's clear that no one here wants to cross -pollinate.

[202] I should have said that from the beginning.

[203] This is to save mankind.

[204] Okay, I'm bad at this.

[205] Yeah, you just don't want to play, and that's fine.

[206] You're an actor.

[207] I'm a blooper.

[208] It's harder for me because it's hard for the female to instigate it.

[209] So it's hard for me to really know if they're into it.

[210] Wait, even in dolphins, it's like that?

[211] Yeah, I don't know that the female dolphin comes up and, like, starts dry -humping the males.

[212] Wow, they have a patriarchy too.

[213] Well, everybody does because the boys are supposed to spread their seed.

[214] The girls are supposed to be looking around going, who's going to be good for my kids?

[215] Who's going to be giving my kids the best option?

[216] They're being discerning, whereas the guys are just like...

[217] They're playing a numbers game.

[218] That's true, that's true.

[219] That is true.

[220] They're like one of these 25 women I have sex with will have good genes.

[221] Yeah, they're indiscriminately just pumping and dumping.

[222] Pumping and dumping and dumping and then fingers crossed that they hit the numbers game.

[223] But some of them have to work very hard because we were watching Planet Earth last night, one of my favorite episodes of it.

[224] We've watched that series a couple times with the girls.

[225] And one of my favorite parts is there is this species of bird in the rainforest that has to, in order to get a mate, get three of his buddies together, literally wingmen.

[226] Yeah.

[227] Okay?

[228] He's got to choreograph.

[229] He works with them.

[230] A bird dance number.

[231] They choreograph it for like an hour.

[232] They have a rehearsal.

[233] He pecks and yells at them.

[234] He's like, pissy with them if they get their steps wrong.

[235] Yeah.

[236] They have a dress rehearsal.

[237] They have a dress rehearsal.

[238] It's the funniest thing you've ever seen.

[239] can't wrap your head around it.

[240] And then when they feel like they're all ready, they like put their heads together and they're like, go time.

[241] They find a girl.

[242] They all stand there.

[243] And with one guy in the lead, his backup dancers, they do this choreographed dance for the female.

[244] And she's just sitting there like, okay.

[245] It's really interesting.

[246] Because if you're, she's like pitching an executive that's heard like 40 pitches that day.

[247] She's giving off no clues whether she's enjoying it or not.

[248] And then even when she gives the okay, very easy to miss. She just kind of like steps a little bit to the side.

[249] And he knows, boom, he is on an offer in under two seconds.

[250] A hundred percent, yeah.

[251] Which begs the question, like...

[252] This is lovely.

[253] They put in the time and the effort, at least.

[254] His brain is telling him that my purpose is to one day get old enough to have my dance team and see if I can get a female.

[255] And purpose will drive you, right?

[256] The other cute thing they do is so he's got three wing men and then he's got the leader.

[257] And then they grab a juvenile male who's like not even the same colors.

[258] they literally make him stand in for the female.

[259] Oh, my God.

[260] It's a stand in.

[261] It's stand in.

[262] And they make the juvenile stand there while he watches this choreographed dance by his older buddies.

[263] By the way.

[264] It is so cute.

[265] This is fascinating.

[266] Also interesting because what's implicit in that is that they're heterosexual, these birds.

[267] They procreate with opposite sex.

[268] So the adolescent boy is watching the male wooing.

[269] And I wonder if he's uncomfortable.

[270] Like, I'm not into guys.

[271] no again I think that all their tiny little bird brains are telling them is that this is my job okay now it's my turn to step up to the plate and be the stand in and then I'm gonna watch the wingmen because that's my next job and then the wing men are watching the lead singer climbing the ladder yeah yeah vertical like that's I don't think they're thinking about all this twisted human BS where we have to like identify and label and we're not this I am this that's all nonsense but do you think the wingmen all become the leader like they can't right so some people probably I mean some people some birds never become the leader but maybe well I don't know not tracking this really drop the ball I know but it feels like the wing men kind of celebrate when the lead guy gets to fertilize and so I feel like the base evolution of the locker room okay you're taking it a different way I was thinking the guys are pumped like yes we did our job here and then like so tomorrow you guys if i sense a girl is near i may need you for my squad oh okay i love that idea and the egalitarian nature of it i think there's a hierarchy and i think the lead singer is always the lead singer and those beta males have to just dance is my hunch unless they get older and bigger or something i don't know the only reason i would argue with that is because the lead singer isn't bigger they're all the same size so the three could easily overpower the singer if he was being crude and like you guys have to work for me because I'm a pimp now they would be like I'm out of here I'm not your wingman but in chimp world sure three betas could theoretically gang up and beat froto the alpha champ but they don't because he's going to individually catch each of them and they know that and they've all had their ass whooped by him once which is why they're so fearful of his position but you're again and I know you have a degree in primatology and anthropology, but you're relating it to monkeys.

[272] None of these birds can catch or beat anybody up.

[273] They're birds.

[274] I need you guys to know these were Dixie Cup birds.

[275] But I don't think that you guys with your naked eye could see a troop of Hamadrius baboons and identify with your eye which one's the biggest.

[276] But they still have more aggression.

[277] Like they just in general have more instinct to fight.

[278] I don't know because I think that especially as petite women, we are trained with a sixth sense often to know who the predator in the room is, even if that's the shortest guy.

[279] with the glasses.

[280] If you feel like there is a predatory sense that women can get off of a group of guys.

[281] I've never done it with baboons.

[282] But again, you could absolutely be right.

[283] You have the degree in anthropology.

[284] I don't.

[285] I'm just saying I watched the show because you were not watching at that time.

[286] These little backup singers and backup dancers, they seemed super happy for the lead singer.

[287] Yeah.

[288] And they were like celebrating.

[289] And they see, I prefer to believe they were supporting each other.

[290] Yeah.

[291] And what I did see them, they were alternating spots in the sun.

[292] So they all seem to really be enjoying their role.

[293] But what's great, and this seemed like a directionalist conversation.

[294] But as I sit in the middle of it, it occurs to me, guys, this is our life right here.

[295] It's Monica and Kristen with a female perspective, and it's Dan with a male perspective.

[296] And this is 80 % of our debates right here.

[297] And we've been having an ongoing one that I think I might bring to the table now, which is really fascinating.

[298] We were watching this Woodstock documentary.

[299] I haven't seen it.

[300] Woodstock 99.

[301] And if you don't know what the doc is about, of course, you had Woodstock 69 or 67, whatever your Woodstock was.

[302] And then they decided, let's do it again 30 years later.

[303] How many people came?

[304] Like 500 ,000 or 700 ,000?

[305] It's such a scary amount of people.

[306] It's insane.

[307] So, Kristen and I are watching this documentary.

[308] And what is unavoidable is it's almost exclusively male.

[309] No, that's not true.

[310] There's a lot of males there.

[311] There's a lot of females there.

[312] It's in 99.

[313] 60 to 70 % white male.

[314] Okay.

[315] And everyone's white, virtually.

[316] at this thing.

[317] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[318] And the women, so it's at the height of girls gone wild.

[319] Do you remember that thing?

[320] Yep.

[321] Oh, yeah.

[322] So, so many girls have their tops off.

[323] And so many guys are misbehaving and fucking groping girls.

[324] And the whole thing is really disturbing.

[325] And there's this collective young male rage happening.

[326] And the bands are perfectly complimenting that.

[327] And then Limp Biscuit gets on stage.

[328] puts the pedal to the metal and now people start tearing down plywood and they're sitting because he started yelling break shit and they ripped the towers down and they set fire to the stage.

[329] Oh my God.

[330] And the fire department had to come and it was crazy.

[331] The previous artists came out even like heavy metal people that I didn't listen to.

[332] Yeah what was the band?

[333] They deserve credit it was the lead singer of he said let's let the girls surf on the crowd without all you guys groping like let's Yeah like he's like if you see a girl coming by Don't grab her tit.

[334] Don't be a dick.

[335] It was a popular band of the time.

[336] Yeah.

[337] Was it red hot jelly pepper?

[338] No. No, but they were awesome.

[339] They were awesome, but they didn't help the vibe.

[340] Jeez.

[341] How come no one of was...

[342] Well...

[343] It's really complex, which is why we've been talking about it for two days.

[344] Yeah, it's probably led to like 20 debates between Kristen and I. Gentle ones, good ones, respectful ones.

[345] But I know how it all started.

[346] Kristen said, new rule.

[347] Males just are not allowed to gather in groups.

[348] I said Young Mills cannot be in groups of five or more.

[349] It is just they can't handle it.

[350] They cannot handle it.

[351] I said unless with a caveat, unless there is a clear, and this is what happens in zoo enclosures too, there is a clear alpha who can wrist slap when somebody gets out of order.

[352] Big groups of guys scare me. It's like a thing I have.

[353] They're scaring big groups of guys.

[354] But if you were there, I know that you could grab their attention, regulate, and like get everybody to stay in line, like ducklings.

[355] Stop grabbing people's.

[356] ass and yeah well thank you for that i don't know that that's true but it led to this really bigger deeper conversation that i think everyone's afraid to have okay i don't think any of these things get at the breadth of the problem or a potential solution so i don't think males can't gather in groups of five is a solution and christin was being facetious obviously but here's my point of view a male point of view and you guys can attack me afterwards offspring that's who did it offspring oh my god I loved offspring.

[357] So if you look at elephants, there are no juvenile male elephants in a family of elephants.

[358] They all get kicked out for a few years.

[359] They're kicked out.

[360] They go roam around and they're angry and they attack fucking water buffalo and they knock trees down.

[361] And they have so much testosterone and fervor to procreate that they're dangerous to everyone.

[362] So they're literally just kicked out for a few years.

[363] And then they return home and they're chill enough to rejoin.

[364] That's what happens.

[365] Okay.

[366] And I think there's this reality about males that no one wants to talk about, which is we were designed to eventually die defending either in a war or someone raiding our tribe or trying to go toe to toe with some animal bigger than us.

[367] Our role has been kind of expendable.

[368] and we have a lot of chemistry that allows us to go apeshit and just fight with 100 other males against another 100 males to protect.

[369] That time is over.

[370] It existed for 140 ,000 years, and it doesn't exist anymore.

[371] That skill set of being willing to die to protect somebody is now obsolete.

[372] But our genetics didn't change in the wake of that.

[373] Our biology didn't change in the wake of that.

[374] We have all this vestigial wiring.

[375] wiring, we are still adolescent elephants.

[376] And so we're not going to kick all teenage and 20 -year -old boys out of society.

[377] That's not going to happen.

[378] And just to be shouting, in my opinion, socialization is the cure.

[379] Socialize them, socialize them, nurture, nurture.

[380] I also think you're going to butt up against their biology in the same way that we would acknowledge a female's biology and say, females have a menstrual cycle.

[381] When they have a menstrual cycle, they have hormones for three days that are pretty intense.

[382] We recognize it.

[383] We have a whole industry of products that are trying to alleviate that experience.

[384] How are we going to help boys through this other than just going that's not how you should behave?

[385] I also think there has to be some component where we acknowledge the severity of the biology that's happening.

[386] I know there's a very dicey conversation.

[387] I have so many things to say on this.

[388] The male adolescent elephant is kicked out.

[389] It's not a direct comparison because there are a lot of young males who decently controlled themselves.

[390] Like, guys I was friends with in high school that were like gentler than a lot of the people I saw at Woodstock 99.

[391] I have no doubt that their brain was shoving in thoughts of boobs every five seconds and like wanting to touch them.

[392] But they were able to regulate.

[393] They were able to not be at risk of being kicked out of whatever our high school tribe was because they were acting like absolute monkeys like they were in this documentary.

[394] So it's not in a completely direct comparison for me. Well, can I just say one thing to that, though, is that the level of PMS varies so greatly.

[395] I've had girlfriends who I never saw them have PMS, ever.

[396] And then I've had girlfriends that had debilitating PMS.

[397] And I will say sometimes there are a lot of people that have pretty debilitating PMS, but we, and this is probably because our culture does have my doll and does have a conversation about it, we are actually training ourselves to know those things ahead of time.

[398] this is when you will be crabby so please remember like we say that to each other like well wait you're complaining about your boyfriend can i ask a question are you on your period i don't know if boys have that conversation with each other i don't think so we are expected to also self -regulate and if i acted like i wanted to quote unquote every time on my period we would 100 % not be married like i self -regulate and women do when they're period now some people lose control 100 % but like what i saw in that documentary was like so far crazy and also if we're going to talk evolutionarily to bring up more than the period our job like we were talking this morning our job is to like protect in a nurturing way you know what goes into our bodies is everybody eating enough vegetables is everyone wearing a mask because we I don't want my family to get corona our job is to nurture and gather and if I were doing that with reckless abandon I would be expected to regulate myself if I were doing that with reckless abandoned you know it would be called nagging and nobody can be married to that so I I don't think it's terrible to ask guys to regulate themselves.

[399] We're all fighting something evolutionarily.

[400] This is my fear, and I think this is at the root of it.

[401] I think what you think I'm after is to excuse guys.

[402] That is not what I'm after at all.

[403] So you're not excused to be a raging asshole at work because you have PMS.

[404] 100%.

[405] But you have PMS, and we recognize it.

[406] So yes, this will never be an excuse for a boy, groping someone, anything.

[407] But what would it cost us for us to acknowledge?

[408] acknowledge there's some chemical shit going on with these guys that make it incredibly hard for them to stay on the straight and arrow and how might we help them by saying socialization should handle it and if you fail you're a shitty person I don't think is that compassionate and I don't know what we would lose by acknowledging that they might be wrestling for a few years with some chemistry that you're not familiar with you want to be seen and you want this problem to be seen and I'm telling you I'm seeing it what I am saying is I do fight for a little socialization because The reason that I don't go bananas on my period is because I have been brought up with socialization that has told me you will feel bananas a couple days before your period.

[409] Don't scream at everyone, even though that is what you want to do.

[410] You can't do that.

[411] What is happening to you is in your brain chemistry and your hormones, and you have to know that it's like knowledge is powered.

[412] I agree with you that we have to acknowledge the guys that maybe have more of that chemical makeup and give them a greater lesson in socialization of like, I know you're feeling this, but tools always help help.

[413] They help women who have really, really bad periods and get super agro around their period.

[414] And I think they would help some of the guys that completely unleashed the most unbelievable behavior I've ever seen by a group of human beings in this documentary.

[415] It's totally vile and it's completely outmoded and it has no purpose in our current society.

[416] That's where I'm starting.

[417] When I watch the Woodstock documentary, I'm like, this is fucking dangerous.

[418] I'm surprised that's all that people that got hurt.

[419] Like it's dangerous.

[420] It clearly What I'm arguing for is like a two -prong approach.

[421] So we say, of course, nurture them to be different.

[422] But I don't think we need to build consensus about that.

[423] Everyone agrees we need to nurture boys differently.

[424] But you keep saying people who are saying socialization, socialization, it's not the thing.

[425] No, I didn't say it's not the thing.

[426] I said we're not bringing in the biological side, which is let's acknowledge the deficit in nurture that they have.

[427] And let's be exploring ways to help the biology in addition to the nurture.

[428] Okay.

[429] And I agree with you.

[430] But here's something else that I'll add.

[431] Monica and I have had hundreds of conversations where she comes over when she's done with work or we're sitting down together and one of us starts complaining to a degree.

[432] No, not about you.

[433] To a degree.

[434] Well, yeah.

[435] Let's say it's like Monica is saying this complaint and this complaint and I'll go, well, those totally sound valid, but can I ask you a question?

[436] How far away from your period are you?

[437] or she has said the exact same thing to me so that we put it in perspective for each other and I am unaware if boys do that to each other like keep each other kind of accountable because we do for some of the biological components but also what is your solution then we can't just say there is none because we can't have guys acting like that as you know as you said those whole conversation let me be so clear what was happening is despicable that's why I brought it up it's dangerous I'm scared for everyone around.

[438] I'm scared for the boys within the mosh pit.

[439] I'm scared.

[440] How do we fix it?

[441] Agreed.

[442] We want to know how to fix it too.

[443] Be a better boy.

[444] Be gentler.

[445] Be kinder.

[446] Well, they're going to fail at that.

[447] And then they're going to have shame, which was you just said to each other that you often will remind each other.

[448] Is your period in three days?

[449] Mine's in three days.

[450] Maybe that's part of it.

[451] And that goes well, right?

[452] Guys can't say that to their girlfriends.

[453] Every guy knows this.

[454] You can't go.

[455] I think that's right.

[456] I think that's right.

[457] It is.

[458] It's like, did you take your full dose of medication?

[459] It's similar to that.

[460] Guys can't say that to girls because they're not on the same team.

[461] Like, you guys are on the same team.

[462] I totally agree.

[463] You have the shared pain of it so you can totally go, oh, I bet this.

[464] And the intention's a little different, right?

[465] Like, if Kristen was being mean, mean, whatever, rude, crabby.

[466] To me, to be honest, I probably wouldn't ask.

[467] I would just keep it in my head like, oh, maybe she's on her period or something.

[468] But if she's just in a sad place or a hard place or something and I'm trying to help her sort through it, I might say like, oh, my God, that sucks so much.

[469] Is it like, do you think, are you going to start a period soon?

[470] Maybe it's chemical.

[471] Like, you'd say it like that.

[472] But normally in relationships when that conversation is brought up, it's like in a fight or in a. Well, you think the guy's saying you're just acting crazy.

[473] Right.

[474] And that you don't have any foundational reason to be upset.

[475] And sometimes that is what the guy is saying.

[476] But wait, we're getting way, way off track.

[477] Well, we're not, though, because I want.

[478] Girls can regulate each other, but we're asking what is the solution?

[479] because why can't guys check each other like that?

[480] When they get together, why does it go?

[481] Well, I am the person starting that.

[482] That's exactly what I'm trying to do over the last four years.

[483] So I am a person that's trying to talk to boys about the experience of being a boy and how to you define masculinity and still.

[484] But what was key about that moment, in my opinion, so in my anecdotal experience, when I've asked girls if they were PMSing, it didn't go well.

[485] And I've seen girlfriends ask each other if they're PMSing and it goes fine.

[486] And that is earned and warranted.

[487] You have the shared pain of it.

[488] It's just like an alcoholic asking me something versus a normie asking me something.

[489] They're in my tribe.

[490] So if they ask me something like, when's the last time you've been to a meeting, they can ask that.

[491] They know.

[492] If a civilian asked me when the last time I've been doing it, I mean, what the fuck do you know about being an alcoholic?

[493] So I just want you to know that men have a similar feeling when you guys start telling us our behavior is wrong, you're not us, and you haven't lived the experience.

[494] So it's a little offensive in the same way that it's offensive.

[495] I say you're PMSing.

[496] I totally understand that point of view.

[497] And I think the only reason we are even vocalizing anything, certainly me, is 100 % out of a fear.

[498] That documentary scared me to my core.

[499] And it's totally a fear.

[500] That only reason I would even comment on something that I know nothing about that I am not that in -group, it scared the shit on me. It's like if you watch a documentary about periods and all the women burned all the children in the city, you would be like, you, that was not cool?

[501] Like, it was scary.

[502] That's the reason that women do feel like they can have an opinion on it because they're normally the ones affected because they get raped or, you know, like it directly affects, which is why there's this conversation.

[503] We might be doing a fucking great job with the shitty genetics we have.

[504] Let's just start there.

[505] That's an option.

[506] I'm not saying that it's true, and obviously we can reach perfection, but let's just start with maybe we are living in a civilization that is so different from what we were designed to live in, that maybe culture and civilization, thank God, is evolving to talking it out, compromise, solutions, nurturing, compassion, empathy.

[507] We don't need to solve problems the way we did.

[508] And so thank God we're heading that way.

[509] But in the process of heading that way, there's going to be some issues.

[510] And when I see that group of boys, you should feel scared.

[511] It's scary.

[512] I feel sad.

[513] Look at all those boys.

[514] And I know what it's like to have the cauldron of emotions they have and there's no outlet.

[515] And we were talking last night, I was like, this is why like football is so cool because they can fake get this thing out.

[516] Like they were born to do this, to go to war, to all this shit, and they can exercise it in a play manner.

[517] But what percentage of boys are in football?

[518] What percentage of boys are in soccer or some team sport where they can get that weird camaraderie they're supposed to get and show how dedicated they are to one another and loyal and sacrifice themselves?

[519] We might recognize through advances in biology that they have to have something like that.

[520] They have to have the equivalent of getting kicked out of the elephant troop.

[521] So I don't know if it's like some kind of nice conscription where you get to do something.

[522] I think we should assume that it's going to probably take more than just be a good boy.

[523] And when you're horny and rage -filled and your natural instinct is to smash a television set, just don't be an asshole.

[524] Well, that I do 100 % agree with you.

[525] First of all, thank you for pointing out how it feels when girls say that and comparing it to the period thing because I think that's totally relevant.

[526] I will say that, like, sometimes when I talk about it, I'm talking about our social contract.

[527] There are certain things that are acceptable and unacceptable.

[528] And here's the other reason why it's so scary and why we get a little flabbergasted when we talk about it.

[529] When women are on their period, they don't get together and decide what to rage about.

[530] That's what I'm saying.

[531] There's no threat of survival with PMS, and there is a threat of survival around a lot of male rage.

[532] I think there is potentially a utopian future where we literally, know all the metrics, like, oh, civilization has gone this way.

[533] There was this level aggression needed to pretend, you know, whatever it is, that in 50 years, there is a medication that you take for six years that brings you to a level that allows you to cooperate with the agreed upon civilization.

[534] Like that might.

[535] With that, though, because let me point out at something else, like, when girls are given something that reduces the symptom of their period, they will clamor to get it.

[536] If you tell you.

[537] tell a guy, this is something that will lower your testosterone.

[538] It's not cool in your group yet to do that.

[539] You're a thousand percent right.

[540] Well, that's why I said in 50 years.

[541] I don't think the medication that is a solution is like, you're not horny, you don't build muscle, you don't have any vigor for life.

[542] No, this is in 50 years.

[543] The pill that might eventually happen in 50 years, I think is cool.

[544] But the only way to get people on board is socialization, is to have a new group think.

[545] I want to be so clear.

[546] I am pro the socialization.

[547] No, I know.

[548] But I'm saying, like, in order to get every guy on a page where they're going to accept a pill like that, it requires a cultural shift.

[549] Oh, big time.

[550] Big time.

[551] But I think you would look at it just like, you could tell kids, hey, you can still go through puberty.

[552] You'll grow.

[553] You'll get hair.

[554] You'll get muscles.

[555] And no pimples.

[556] Everyone's like, yeah, no pimples.

[557] Yeah.

[558] So, yeah, if we get to the point where we can offer the kids, like, you're going to be a man, you'll be this.

[559] You'll be your full size, you blah, blah, but you want to slug a stranger at a bar.

[560] Yeah.

[561] Yeah, I might take that.

[562] Yeah, I don't know.

[563] And the more people who take this, your odds of getting slugged at the bar go down dramatically.

[564] It's a weird proposition even for me to make as someone who's kind of libertarian.

[565] Maybe Chris can handle it.

[566] Yeah.

[567] I don't know.

[568] Maybe that's the solution.

[569] Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

[570] What's up, guys?

[571] This your girl Kiki.

[572] And my podcast is back with a new see.

[573] season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[574] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[575] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[576] And I don't mean just friends.

[577] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[578] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[579] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[580] We've all been there.

[581] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[582] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[583] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[584] It's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[585] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[586] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[587] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[588] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[589] Can I ask you guys a couple of questions?

[590] Yeah.

[591] I want to know your favorite thing about Monica.

[592] Physical or personality -wise?

[593] Goodness.

[594] Goodness.

[595] Her competency.

[596] Thank you.

[597] I like that answer.

[598] And Monica, what is your favorite thing about Dax?

[599] Physical or...

[600] Monica.

[601] My favorite thing.

[602] So many things.

[603] Don't butter the bread.

[604] Just answer it.

[605] No, I got to think.

[606] I got to think I got to answer it truthfully.

[607] Don't butter the bread.

[608] Also, you're always supposed to butter the bread.

[609] What are you talking about?

[610] Sign out, always butter the bread.

[611] I think your ability for introspection.

[612] I appreciate a lot.

[613] Oh, thank you.

[614] And Monica, what is your favorite thing about yourself?

[615] My competency, perhaps.

[616] It's up there.

[617] Because here's a story.

[618] Recently, there's been a few work things that have not been great because of me. And it really messed with my identity of being a hard worker, of being really competent, of being the person who is always at the top of my game in that way.

[619] And I knew that about myself, but the lack of it really highlighted it.

[620] Like, oh, that's extremely important to me. Your competency of being the favorite thing?

[621] I think so.

[622] Dax, what's your favorite thing about yourself?

[623] I think that my willingness to question myself.

[624] That's pretty funny.

[625] People probably like people because they confirm their favorite thing.

[626] What?

[627] Like, if my favorite thing about you was your gift giving, I do.

[628] You she gives great gifts.

[629] That's why I said it was a real skill.

[630] But we brought in it like thoughtfulness or something.

[631] Niceness.

[632] Yeah, I don't care about that.

[633] It would be a barrier to our friendship because I don't even see the most valuable part of you as defined by you.

[634] And perhaps you would sense that he wasn't recognizing your competency, which is like the top of your Christmas tree.

[635] That's true For those who celebrate Christmas Like you want to be seen as that And this person can't confirm you that way Yeah yeah Yeah Wow All right so what is your favorite I didn't come here to answer it No we had to ask it We could get more data I'm tracking so many things right now you guys What's your favorite thing about Monica hon Well now she knows what to say No I don't But I wouldn't describe it as competency But perhaps it's a semantics argument Because it's very very related you as a friend and a business partner, you make the people around you feel safe.

[636] And it is safe in like if we were ordering lunch and didn't bring our credit card, that you would have a solution to what we were going to do.

[637] Or like your problem -solving skills, which I guess really is competency, to be honest, you are such a comfortable person to be around.

[638] Because your problem -solving skills, it's just so safe.

[639] That's a lovely compliment.

[640] What's your favorite thing about Kristen?

[641] Her ass?

[642] Dax.

[643] I'm sorry.

[644] Actually, I mean, yeah.

[645] Thank you.

[646] That's my favorite thing about me too.

[647] I know.

[648] I know that.

[649] Your warmth.

[650] It's warmth, but in a way that's like when I need an emotional support or I have a problem, I want to hear from you, and I know I'll feel warm.

[651] Like, I'm not going to ever get.

[652] attacked.

[653] I think I actually know specifically what it is.

[654] Okay.

[655] Which I wouldn't have been able to guess until just now, hearing you say that.

[656] I think you want to use the word instead of warmth, inclusion, because I think the thing that makes you feel safe, because the thing you fear is exclusion.

[657] And the thing that makes you feel safe is inclusion.

[658] And she exudes inclusion.

[659] That is true.

[660] Like, I mean, I think that's a great quality.

[661] When we talk about like the early beginnings of your guys' working relationship.

[662] One thing that you told me many times is like, you know why Kristen is so amazing is because when she introduces me, she introduces me as her best friend.

[663] Yeah, external hard drive.

[664] Which then turned into external hard drive.

[665] But just originally it was just this is my.

[666] I was trying to give her a little bit more academic credit.

[667] Yeah.

[668] That was a good thing.

[669] Yes, yes, because you were referring to me as your babysitter.

[670] Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

[671] But it was in contrast to that.

[672] that I was like, oh, yeah, that's weird.

[673] I never feel that from her.

[674] I never feel a hierarchy.

[675] I don't believe in hierarchies.

[676] And you are incredibly inclusive.

[677] I mean, that's like one of your main things.

[678] The doors open.

[679] There's a billion people over all the time, and you're very, very inclusive.

[680] It's more like when I have a void that she can normally fill it.

[681] And I do feel like that is safety.

[682] Also, she can provide.

[683] She really took care of you for a period of time.

[684] Yeah.

[685] And, I mean, in a way, really, that only your parents would have other than her.

[686] Yeah, and you know what, in the ways that they didn't.

[687] Uh -huh.

[688] Uh -huh.

[689] Right.

[690] What a wonderful thing to like about you.

[691] Yeah.

[692] It makes me really happy.

[693] Yeah.

[694] But it is really similar to safety.

[695] That's so crazy.

[696] And so I'm going to make you wait to say what your favorite thing is about because that feels like it makes the most sense in this scenario.

[697] You tell her.

[698] Okay.

[699] Don't say RCA.

[700] What's that?

[701] Reverse cowgirl anal.

[702] Oh, what?

[703] She went right to the fucking gutter.

[704] Mine is really hard to articulate.

[705] I don't know how to put it in words, but I'm a cynic to the core, and you were so positive that even I couldn't punch a hole in it.

[706] And I witnessed the crazy consequences of it or benefits of it or rewards of it and was able to learn I was wrong by watching you.

[707] Like, that's a crazy gift to give somebody.

[708] Change my worldview.

[709] I don't know what quality that is, but that is it.

[710] That's the quality.

[711] Impenetrable optimism?

[712] Yeah.

[713] Or I want to say like benefit of the doubt, but really it's just kindness that you.

[714] You give everyone the benefit of kindness, and I do not.

[715] And I've never seen anyone do it to such a degree.

[716] I mean, it annoys me sometimes, as you know, but the benefit of kindness is pretty crazy.

[717] Thanks.

[718] What's your favorite thing?

[719] About yourself.

[720] No, about Dax.

[721] We haven't done that yet.

[722] Funny enough, it is a fierce moral inventory.

[723] But it's a little bit more than that.

[724] your ability to self -assess and pivot, but it's also an addiction to evolving, where you are very hell -bent on opinions you have, but it's not a stake in the ground that can't change without new information.

[725] And I think that's because you're, in similar to what Monica said, it is really your ability to, how did you phrase it?

[726] introspection yeah introspection and also what is very attractive to me about you is that you have as of recently allowed that introspection to be pointed at other people in our lives like you're able to assess in a situation when one of your buddies asks you for advice you're able to go oh I know this time when I had to go through this and you say it out loud to them and it changes their point of view for the better or exposes them to something because certainly you're goal is never to change anyone.

[727] But yeah, introspection and addiction to getting better and evolving all the time.

[728] You just surrounded yourself with people who would tell you you were introspective.

[729] Now we need to know what your favorite thing about yourself is because we'll see if Monica and I are confirming it for you.

[730] Well, I'll tell you that you are.

[731] I like that I can be an emotional chameleon with people.

[732] I can very easily in my guts without even any like brain function, assess what they need in that moment and meet it.

[733] Whether it's like Ryan who comes over and he needs like us to be party pumping or it's Amy and because she works so hard for everyone, no one has asked her about her day in five days.

[734] Five years.

[735] In five years.

[736] Or whether it's seeing you not feel safe and destabilized and knowing my job here is to stabilize or falling in of with an absolute pessimist that thinks about the worst case scenario every single time and going, oh, I just have to keep presenting the best case scenario because I'm going to be right sometimes.

[737] And he's going to see the data because he likes data.

[738] Like being able to be an emotional chameleon that meets people where they are is my favorite thing about myself.

[739] Yeah, that encompasses all of these things.

[740] One cool thing is if you have a kid with somebody, you can stumble in to knowing more about them or even you you've been around since delta was born like to see delta and then to connect how similar she and Kristen are and then that informs something about christin i actually never knew or a piece i didn't have yeah yeah like just looking at delta move through the world is such a specific thing that has got to have some predictable outcome That's kind of fun.

[741] Has that happened to you with me and either of the kids?

[742] Yes, because I have noticed that the one who I think is like you, there was a phase where she was watching a lot of sitcoms, and she entered every room like Kramer, and it was driving me bananas because I was mumbling, I know we shouldn't have let her watch so many sitcoms because now she has a false sense of a comedy it is and everything is a goddamn banana peel, and that is not the sensibility I wanted to have.

[743] We should have started her on Seinfeld.

[744] And Dax said, Parks and Rec.

[745] And Dax said, I tried a lot of comedy bits before I found any sensibility that worked.

[746] And just the past couple days, she's got me with a couple real zingers that have been really, really good.

[747] She's figuring it out.

[748] She's figuring out.

[749] And so I guess I would say in that respect.

[750] And also, when I see how she can operate a machine, whether it's a blender, the oven, a motorcycle, a quad, a drill.

[751] I can't believe that she fuses with it like you do, and all of a sudden it is just part of her arm.

[752] She understands mechanics to a degree that I don't.

[753] I was telling Kristen, I was watching Lincoln last night ride her motorcycle between my two favorite cars, and it was too tight.

[754] I had already asked her to just park it elsewhere.

[755] Yeah.

[756] But she went anyways, and I was watching her go in between my two cars, And I swear to God, I had this thought, like, this fucking bitch is going to make it.

[757] Like, I have more belief in her abilities than my own.

[758] I'm like, I've been watching this kid for eight years, and she doesn't fall.

[759] She went through, like an inch on either side.

[760] She's incredibly depth.

[761] And it made her better knowing I was watching her with doubt.

[762] It made her do it.

[763] She's a winner's heart.

[764] Yeah, it was pretty wild.

[765] I loved it.

[766] Okay.

[767] Speaking of children, we have a game show.

[768] We have a baby, a new baby.

[769] We have a new baby.

[770] That's right.

[771] And why do we have a game show?

[772] Let's start there.

[773] Well, because there was a producing team that we love that has for a while been asking us to do a game show.

[774] We've considered it.

[775] And when we were on Ellen and did taste buds and did some of the best comedy of our entire careers unintentionally.

[776] Right.

[777] Which is really just how we act towards each other all the time.

[778] Intentionally.

[779] For people who haven't seen taste buds, we're both blindfolded.

[780] I'm putting my mouth in things, and then I have to explain to her what I'm tasting, and vice versa.

[781] And it just went so poorly.

[782] So sideways.

[783] It's hilarious.

[784] We're screaming at each other.

[785] You're taking your wedding ring off.

[786] Yeah.

[787] It was bad.

[788] And it was, you're right, it's the funniest thing I've ever done, and it was not intentional.

[789] And so then we thought, okay.

[790] Maybe we'll host a game show because we like working together.

[791] Mm -hmm.

[792] But it fell upon all of us to go, but we got to play the games.

[793] Yeah.

[794] Yeah.

[795] I don't think you nor I want to sit and watch people do the things we want to do.

[796] And so we made Family Game Fight, and it got picked up by NBC.

[797] We shot 10 episodes, and it was the hardest job either of us had ever had because somehow we agreed to play a game.

[798] called Brain Freeze.

[799] Well, back up.

[800] I really wanted to sing it.

[801] So you've been doing this for like 23 years, and I've been doing it for almost 20 years.

[802] And I've been in adventure movies where you jump off cliffs in ice cold water.

[803] We made our own movie for a million dollars, which is impossible.

[804] In the middle of the desert, so hot, 18 hour a day.

[805] I shot Bad Mom's Christmas in New Orleans in August, where we were all in parkas and turtlenecks and hats.

[806] It was 99 degrees outside.

[807] I mean, we've been through.

[808] We've had the ringer.

[809] Yeah.

[810] We got home from our first day.

[811] Our first day of work, day one of five, we get home and we get in the bedroom and I go, well, that is the hardest day I've ever had at work.

[812] And Kristen goes, oh, my God, that's the exact same thing I was going to say.

[813] And it just kept getting worse and worse and worse.

[814] Four more of these.

[815] We cancel the day.

[816] I mean, it was.

[817] Yeah.

[818] And to bring us to some of the commitments we made that we won't make in the future.

[819] So God, watch this first season because you won't see this game again.

[820] It's called brain freeze where we have to answer questions.

[821] And if you get it wrong, you and all your teammates get an ice bucket, a lot of ice.

[822] Like it comes out of a tube, not like a, like a huge ice bucket.

[823] Yeah, dumped on your head and down your pants.

[824] Yes, snaking down your shirt.

[825] There's ice in between your butt cracks, your cheeks and your butt.

[826] And you get three wrong guesses before you're right.

[827] out.

[828] So we played with six different families.

[829] So 18 times.

[830] 18 times we got multiple buckets of ice dumped down our clothes in our head.

[831] In between this, we would have to, after we got one wrong, three dumpings.

[832] Three dumpings, three wrong.

[833] We'd then have to, because we were on such a tight schedule, run up two flights of stairs, because that's where our green room was.

[834] Where was the green room, Monica?

[835] Oh, shit.

[836] It was...

[837] That's the headline of this fucking thing.

[838] Jen Ann and Courtney's...

[839] dressing rooms from friends we shot on the friend stage friend stage their dressing rooms lots of sex with brad pitt was hot in there yeah so much so excited so much pit stuff everywhere we thought a lot about the corners of that dressing room but we were we had to run up the stairs blow dry our hair change our outfits re -mike ourselves run back down we were so crazy that went till 1 30 in the morning we started at 7 a .m yeah went to 1 .30 in the morning, and the last three hours was getting ice dumped on her head.

[840] And we were like, how did we get herself in this situation?

[841] Oh, my God.

[842] And then intermittently with that are like these games that were so fun to play.

[843] Oh, my God.

[844] We'd play them 18 times in a row, and we would be like, fuck, I want to play this more, more.

[845] I mean, the pie in the face one, we just every time, pie rollers, yeah, it's wonderful because we get to bet against each other and we have to give clues.

[846] Look, and we've watched some cuts now.

[847] Oh, my God, it's fun.

[848] It is.

[849] It's a fun game show, and we are in it to win it.

[850] It's like if you videotaped a game night at our house.

[851] Yeah, yeah.

[852] We are not holding back.

[853] No, no, no, no, no, no. And that ultimately was why we chose to do it, because, like, we kind of like when things feel organic and authentic, and that's why we show people silly videos of us at our house together that are very real or talk about when we fight.

[854] And we were like, yeah, this wouldn't necessarily, be like taking a game show hosting job.

[855] This would be like exactly what we want to do.

[856] It would feel authentic.

[857] And the cool thing is we get two families per episode.

[858] We're each fighting for on the team of a different family.

[859] And we're trying to get our team $100 ,000.

[860] So at the end of the show, we get to give money away, which is great.

[861] As hard as it was, if people watch it and we get more episodes ordered, I would absolutely do it again.

[862] Yeah.

[863] Last Friday of shooting, we got home.

[864] And even though the week was what it was, I was like, I would love to do it.

[865] tons more of these.

[866] Me too.

[867] I hope it runs for like 10 years.

[868] Wouldn't that be so fun?

[869] Yes, yes.

[870] And we didn't really fight.

[871] No, no, no, no. We get asked always in interviews like, why do we like working together?

[872] And I think what's so great about it is you have this huge skill set.

[873] Like you're so good with the whole thing.

[874] And so because half the job's mind to know that your partner in it is so competent and so skilled and for that skill and shininess to benefit you, I think that's hard to get in a relationship.

[875] Yeah.

[876] I mean, it's just so special to get to be the benefactor of your partner's skill set.

[877] I think that's rare.

[878] Yeah, that's true.

[879] You know, when you started this point, I was ready to argue with you and be like, oh, I just like spending time with you and having fun, but that oversimplifies it.

[880] Because, yeah, there were definitely moments where you know that our job is to not just play fun games, but we're playing for five people that we want to introduce to an audience of the people watching this television show and figure out within two minutes how to get the audience to care that they win $100 ,000.

[881] And you're so good at that with like banter and improv and so I knew that I could pass the ball to you at any time.

[882] And then ultimately I think we made a pretty good show.

[883] Yeah, what it is is for anyone who's been together for over a decade to put together five straight days where you're consciously grateful for your partner I don't know.

[884] I don't know how often that happens.

[885] It's never happened to you before.

[886] I don't know that it's never happened to me. I'm just saying for five solid days in a row, you have like immense gratitude for your partner.

[887] Every time we made eye contact, we were both saying, oh my God, thank God you're in this with me. Yes, thank God you're here.

[888] Yeah.

[889] Yeah, that's a really nice part.

[890] The show's called Family Game Fight.

[891] Not an easy title to say.

[892] No, it's patted around a lot of names.

[893] It looks good on paper.

[894] It looks good on paper.

[895] and then when you go to say it, it's not as easy.

[896] It took me a few runs at it.

[897] You know what?

[898] I got out of it.

[899] What?

[900] Tell me. A date.

[901] That's right.

[902] That's right.

[903] Yeah, that was exciting.

[904] A good date, too.

[905] Yeah.

[906] Why didn't you tell me that?

[907] It just happened.

[908] Oh.

[909] It just got scheduled.

[910] Hmm.

[911] Yeah, so that's nice.

[912] So that happened too.

[913] That's a nice, nice thing.

[914] I think also one thing for you guys that's fun.

[915] I'm sure.

[916] is it's just like hot to see someone you like in their element.

[917] And you guys are really both in your elements there, big time.

[918] Yeah, it's like if your partner's a rock star and you see them.

[919] You don't really get to see your partner at work, mostly.

[920] Most partners don't.

[921] I have an accountant friend.

[922] Her husband isn't like watching her do accounting stuff.

[923] On the 10 key.

[924] She is on a 10 key.

[925] Yeah.

[926] And they're not like, oh my God.

[927] They don't just get to see.

[928] I can add so much.

[929] Well, I would be very impressed by that.

[930] That's why professors are hot.

[931] They're in their element.

[932] Yeah, that's right.

[933] Family game fight.

[934] Oh, it comes out nice.

[935] You said, hit me with it.

[936] Family game fight.

[937] Family game fight.

[938] So the first episode aired last night after the closing ceremony of the Olympics.

[939] I hope people kept their televisions on to watch.

[940] And the rest of the episodes, you can catch Wednesdays at 9 -8 Central on NBC.

[941] I love you guys.

[942] That went everywhere.

[943] It covered all the topics.

[944] All the topics.

[945] It always does.

[946] Family Game Fight Wednesdays on NBC.

[947] Good job, buddy.

[948] Thank you.

[949] Thank you, brother.

[950] Love you guys.

[951] Love you.

[952] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[953] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[954] Hello.

[955] It's a big, big day.

[956] Nirmala and Ashok will be here within hours.

[957] That's right.

[958] Imminent.

[959] Man, their arrival is imminent.

[960] Yeah, I'm excited to see them.

[961] They haven't been here in two years.

[962] Right.

[963] In fact, we were just kind of figuring out that math because we showed your father, I think you should leave season one.

[964] That's right.

[965] That's when we were hot on the first season.

[966] By the way, if you haven't watched, think you should leave.

[967] It's the funniest sketch show in America.

[968] It's on Netflix.

[969] Tim Robinson is, he's like the David Bowie of comedy.

[970] Yeah.

[971] Like, he's on another planet.

[972] It's really fun to watch.

[973] It really, really is.

[974] Tim Robinson was like, Robbins, right?

[975] Oh, fucking God.

[976] I think it's Tim Robinson.

[977] In some ways, I have the right job and in other ways I really have the wrong job because I fucking amount to lunch on everyone's name.

[978] Oh, my God.

[979] Okay, so anyway, my parents are coming.

[980] Yeah, they're coming and you've planned a really, really fun visit for them.

[981] I just want to applaud you publicly.

[982] You're taking them to Santa Barbara because they at one time told you that Santa Barbara reminds them a ton of Kerala.

[983] That's right.

[984] Of all the places in the U .S., they felt like maybe that was the place that most reminded them of home.

[985] Of India, yeah.

[986] I mean, the thing is, it's not really fair for me to judge that hard because I have no connection.

[987] You know, I don't know what it looks like there in Kerala.

[988] I mean.

[989] Oh, wow.

[990] Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow.

[991] Do you think I'm having a stroke?

[992] You might be.

[993] Oh, my God.

[994] Oh, my God.

[995] The way I remember Carola is by saying Nirmala.

[996] That's why I did that.

[997] Oh, yeah.

[998] Because I always like, I draw a blank on Kerala, but then I say Nirmala and then for some reason that gets me to Kerala.

[999] Yeah, I like that.

[1000] But anyway.

[1001] But you've been to Kerala.

[1002] When I was four.

[1003] Oh, okay.

[1004] So I have no memory.

[1005] Okay.

[1006] But it is a beachy town.

[1007] Yeah.

[1008] Which is extra surprising when my parents don't like swimming.

[1009] Yeah.

[1010] And also, I'm going to tread lightly here.

[1011] I don't want to be offensive.

[1012] But when I hear about people, well, I'll just say it exactly honest, and you can tell me if it's terrible.

[1013] When I think about people leaving, like, Bombay or Delhi, I'm like, yeah, I bet they want to get out of here.

[1014] Get to America, we've got some space, you know, whatever.

[1015] But when I think of if they lived in Santa Barbara, then I really recognize why you come here, which is like opportunity.

[1016] Definitely, yeah.

[1017] Yeah, yeah.

[1018] Yeah, I see the fine line.

[1019] because you're basically saying, like, well, some parts of it are just shit.

[1020] Well, not shit.

[1021] Oppressive in the amount of people.

[1022] And again, that's from my naive realism perspective of I would be uncomfortable around that densely populated.

[1023] Yes.

[1024] That's true.

[1025] I mean, it is incredibly populated.

[1026] Like, even New York is, like, the most thrilling, energizing place in the world.

[1027] And after three weeks, I'm like, that's a lot of people.

[1028] It's a lot of energy output.

[1029] Yeah.

[1030] I agree.

[1031] I need a little more.

[1032] space.

[1033] Okay.

[1034] I have so much to say and we're running out of time.

[1035] I just realized I have so much to say.

[1036] Yeah, which is my fault.

[1037] I'll just own it.

[1038] I have an impending Zoom call.

[1039] That's fine.

[1040] Okay.

[1041] About diapers.

[1042] So something happened yesterday.

[1043] I had valed at the four seasons.

[1044] Uh -huh.

[1045] And I already feel self -conscious at the four seasons.

[1046] Yeah, yeah.

[1047] You feel like an imposter.

[1048] Yes.

[1049] I like, I don't belong there.

[1050] Who are all these people?

[1051] You look too young.

[1052] Well, yes.

[1053] And I was wearing a dress that I guess made me look a little young.

[1054] You look like a kid a little bit.

[1055] I had met you earlier on your way there to get a new tire.

[1056] Yep.

[1057] Shout out to John at American Tire.

[1058] He's my favorite guy.

[1059] The personalized service.

[1060] It was lovely.

[1061] You start by introducing you to John.

[1062] John, and I remember panicking that I was going to forget your name when that was happening.

[1063] Isn't that crazy?

[1064] Wait, are you serious?

[1065] Yeah.

[1066] But just the act of going, John, I want you to meet my friend.

[1067] Once I start saying I want you to meet my friend.

[1068] I immediately, it's like Pavlovian, I start getting anxiety.

[1069] I'm going to forget the name.

[1070] And I literally was even having it with you.

[1071] And I was like, oh, good.

[1072] It's just, it's just anxiety.

[1073] Wow.

[1074] I know your name.

[1075] Are you sure?

[1076] Well, I mean, I got it out just fine.

[1077] You did.

[1078] But I did have that little moment of like, oh my God, I'm going to forget Monica's name because I said I want you to meet my friend.

[1079] Oh my God.

[1080] I wonder how I would have reacted if you literally forgot my name.

[1081] Yeah.

[1082] I mean.

[1083] I would hope you would recognize it had nothing to do with you.

[1084] I mean, I know your name.

[1085] Wow, that's really interesting.

[1086] You don't get that.

[1087] You have that level of anxiety around names.

[1088] Oh, that makes me feel sad.

[1089] Oh, God, it happened the other day.

[1090] Like, someone stopped by and the whole pod was over.

[1091] Mm -hmm.

[1092] And I had to go introduce 11 people.

[1093] Okay.

[1094] And the whole time I was like, I'm not going to make it through this.

[1095] Oh, wow.

[1096] And these are like the closest people.

[1097] I know, yes, I know they're middle names in most cases.

[1098] I just, I'm so afraid of doing that that I start psyching myself out.

[1099] I'm like a tennis player in a finals match or something.

[1100] Anywho, this seems like something we got to work through.

[1101] Great care, really great care we got from John over at the tire place.

[1102] That's right.

[1103] We're running out of time.

[1104] You showed up, you had on a dress, and you had combat boots on.

[1105] So yeah, you looked like a college freshman.

[1106] in a great way Okay Oh boy All right Well you brought up the dress Yeah but not like It was very youthful It's very youthful But I wouldn't say A college Like a college freshman is too Pimpley No No Oh okay It's I still had pimples As a freshman It's too Real Yeah Like if you had said You look like a second grade that's better.

[1107] So far removed.

[1108] You look like a second grade.

[1109] Thank you.

[1110] Anywho, I went to the Four Seasons and then I went to get my car and the guy was like, it was a different guy who I gave my ticket to.

[1111] He said, Mercedes, and I came up and he was like, is this yours?

[1112] Oh.

[1113] And I was like, yeah.

[1114] And I was like, yeah.

[1115] And then I kind of got in my head.

[1116] I was like, wait, is it?

[1117] Like maybe there's another Mercedes.

[1118] Right.

[1119] There's a dime a dozen in Beverly Hills.

[1120] Exactly.

[1121] So then I went and was like looking.

[1122] And I was like, oh, yeah, it's fine.

[1123] And he was like, do you have your ticket?

[1124] Uh -huh.

[1125] And I was like, no. The guy has my ticket.

[1126] Right, that you gave it too to have it pulled up.

[1127] Yes.

[1128] And I was like, this is my car.

[1129] And I was like, do you want me to get my ticket?

[1130] And he was like, yeah.

[1131] He said, yeah.

[1132] Yeah.

[1133] So then I went back to the guy and I was like, hey, that guy doesn't believe that that's my car.

[1134] I need my ticket.

[1135] And he said, oh, I'm really sorry.

[1136] And then he gave me the ticket.

[1137] So I could see where for you, that would trigger you, and for me, that would confirm my greatest desire.

[1138] I want to be thought of his white trash.

[1139] And then here's the joke.

[1140] I have a sweet car.

[1141] That's my identity.

[1142] I don't want a Mercedes pulls up.

[1143] I don't want you to think that's my car.

[1144] In fact, I hate that you would think that.

[1145] Yeah.

[1146] I mean, of course that adds up to all your stuff.

[1147] And you're a brown woman young.

[1148] Not getting taken seriously.

[1149] So it's like a totally 180.

[1150] Yeah.

[1151] But same situation.

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] But I would be like, I know, can you believe it, brother?

[1154] If he's like, is this really your car?

[1155] I'm like, I know, can you believe it.

[1156] I can barely believe it too.

[1157] See you later.

[1158] Here's a hundred bucks.

[1159] Okay.

[1160] So that, I have some guilt about that.

[1161] Okay.

[1162] You didn't tip on.

[1163] Yeah, because I was like, you don't, you can't do that and then get a tip.

[1164] Right.

[1165] And I think I stand by that.

[1166] But I, of course, got to my car and I was like, I just should have been the bigger person and given him a tip.

[1167] This happens to me, as you know, when I order food, which is sometimes I'm out in the front yard for fucking 16 minutes while they try to find their way five houses over.

[1168] And by the time they get there, I'm like, you don't deserve the tip.

[1169] And then I do it anyways, because I just know it'll bother me more.

[1170] Yes.

[1171] I'm like, you know what, this is unjust, but I'm going to do it.

[1172] Well, to me, with that, I can totally overlook, like, some level of incompetence.

[1173] Like, if somebody just isn't doing a great job, but they're trying.

[1174] That's, you know, I'm like.

[1175] But if someone evaluated your status and they made it low, it's kind of offensive.

[1176] I just, I found it very offensive.

[1177] And I was like, you can't do that and then expect a tip.

[1178] And I don't think he did expect a tip because he made a big blunt.

[1179] What if he gave you a tip.

[1180] Hey, here's five bucks, man. I'm fucking.

[1181] I blew that.

[1182] I blew that.

[1183] You know, I was just trying to protect.

[1184] I don't know.

[1185] I thought.

[1186] I also get it.

[1187] Like, you know, if somebody takes somebody's car in these scenarios, that's awful.

[1188] This guy's out of a job probably.

[1189] Yes.

[1190] But then maybe then you ask everyone for their ticket.

[1191] No one else was getting asked for their tickets.

[1192] I saw.

[1193] Right.

[1194] So you can have a safeguard in there that just everyone has to have their ticket with them.

[1195] Yeah.

[1196] Yeah.

[1197] And I guess I looked like a college freshman.

[1198] Without the pimples What if he said God, you have great skin for a freshman Okay, well that was my week In a nutshell Yeah, that one exchange Oh my God 1151 I know Shit, okay All right, well we don't have to Oh, we're panicked Guys, we're panicked And we don't have time to do this right I have one fact Something I really need to bring up While you're looking this up I got to be dead clear.

[1199] I ended up finding the present that Spotify sent me. Exactly.

[1200] They did send me a present.

[1201] And I'll tell you why I didn't open it.

[1202] There was a box sitting downstairs that said from Rob Hollis and to Dag Shepherd.

[1203] Oh.

[1204] So I assumed it was like an armchair thing, if that makes sense.

[1205] I thought it was like some samples of a toothbrush we might talk about or something.

[1206] Oh, right.

[1207] So I just didn't open it.

[1208] And then yesterday, I was like, I'm going to open this up and see what it was.

[1209] And by God, it was a fucking gorgeous leather jacket from Spotify.

[1210] They nailed it.

[1211] They fucking nailed it.

[1212] Whoever's picking out gifts over there?

[1213] I know.

[1214] Do you think they have a department?

[1215] Because those are too good.

[1216] Like yours, Rob's and mine.

[1217] Yeah, they are listening.

[1218] They care.

[1219] I love them.

[1220] Yeah, I do too.

[1221] They're really wonderful.

[1222] Okay.

[1223] Here's my only fact.

[1224] We've got to get it out.

[1225] Okay.

[1226] Have avalanche has been below negative 200?

[1227] That was a question.

[1228] Well, because I said in an avalanche, if you start crying or spitting, doesn't it just freeze automatically?

[1229] Oh, right.

[1230] Kristen said, well, it's not like negative 200.

[1231] Oh, correct.

[1232] Because there's never been an avalanche to negative 200.

[1233] Would that be 76 on the Calvin scale maybe?

[1234] It's Calvin negative 276 or something like that?

[1235] I don't know.

[1236] Okay.

[1237] Anyways, I'm slowing us down.

[1238] I had always grown up in Michigan hearing that snow is at.

[1239] actually great insulation.

[1240] So when it would drift up over your windows and stuff downstairs, it actually becomes insulation.

[1241] Oh, wow.

[1242] I don't think that works in an avalanche.

[1243] Well, I think you are covered.

[1244] You're surrounded by snow and your body temp can, it's almost like wearing a wetsuit.

[1245] I think.

[1246] Really?

[1247] Yeah, I think it's more insulating than you would think.

[1248] It's better than being, in fact, they even tell you sometimes if you're like out in the middle of nowhere and you're stranded to bury yourself in snow.

[1249] I think that's a thing they tell All right.

[1250] Everyone, please don't do any of this.

[1251] We don't know yet.

[1252] Also, don't get lost wandering through the snow.

[1253] Let's start there.

[1254] This says negative 5 and negative 10 degrees Celsius.

[1255] Is what it is inside of an avalanche?

[1256] Yeah.

[1257] I think we can confirm it's not negative 200.

[1258] I don't think we've ever recorded negative 200 on planet Earth.

[1259] Okay, statistics show that 93 % of avalanche victims can be recovered alive if they're dug out within the first 15 minutes.

[1260] But then the numbers drop catastrophically.

[1261] After 45 minutes, only 20 to 30 % are still alive.

[1262] And after two hours, almost no one is alive.

[1263] Oh, my gosh.

[1264] This is horrifying.

[1265] Ooh, that is horrifying.

[1266] Still a good tip we gave.

[1267] About the spinning.

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] Because let me see the coldest recorded temperature ever.

[1270] Just real quick.

[1271] Okay.

[1272] The Earth's lowest temperature was recorded at the Vostock Station, operated by Russia.

[1273] This is 1983.

[1274] Negative 128 .6 degrees.

[1275] Holy shit.

[1276] Yeah.

[1277] I didn't think it ever got that cold.

[1278] Do you remember Calvin at all?

[1279] Calvin scale?

[1280] Yeah.

[1281] Because I want to say zero Calvin, which is like negative 276 or something like that, is when all molecules stop moving, when the atoms stop moving.

[1282] Oh, you want me to look it up?

[1283] Because I think really, and I could be wrong, I'm not a physics major.

[1284] As everyone knows, I'm an anthropology major.

[1285] I want to say, you know, temperature is really just a measure of how fast atoms are moving.

[1286] Okay, Kelvin scale.

[1287] I'm saying Calvin and it's Kelvin.

[1288] So right out of the gates.

[1289] So that's with the K -E -L -V -I -N.

[1290] That's right.

[1291] Okay.

[1292] What does it measure?

[1293] Why does the Kelvin scale start at 273?

[1294] Oh, it's close.

[1295] It's because the temperature difference between the boiling and freezing points is 2 .715 times smaller than the temperature difference between the minimum allowed temperature, the absolute zero and the freezing point of water.

[1296] Yeah, so absolute zero, I think, is it can't go lower than that because all the atoms stop moving.

[1297] Okay.

[1298] Okay.

[1299] I am so bad at physics.

[1300] And none of these words make sense to me. Okay, but just really quick, let's take a quart of water.

[1301] Okay.

[1302] When you measure it and it's 60 degrees, what you're really getting is really what the speed of the atoms bouncing against each other are.

[1303] And as that goes up and the friction increases, then the temperature rises.

[1304] So it's perfectly correlated with the speed at which everything's moving in there.

[1305] Right.

[1306] So I think at Calvin absolute zero, nothing moves.

[1307] Cool.

[1308] Kelvin scale.

[1309] I thought you were talking about that sexual scale.

[1310] Oh, the Kinsey scale, yeah.

[1311] Which we decided I was a six on or something.

[1312] I forget.

[1313] We did.

[1314] We tried to figure out, like, what's the moment before you want to touch a penis?

[1315] I want to see a penis and I want to laugh at a penis and poke at it.

[1316] Well, no, I don't want to poke it.

[1317] I want to point at it.

[1318] Right.

[1319] I don't want to poke at it.

[1320] You don't want to touch it.

[1321] You don't want to make contact.

[1322] I don't want to make contact with it at all.

[1323] Right.

[1324] Which, what a thin barrier for me. Yeah, but you had a sexual trauma.

[1325] Well, that's true.

[1326] That's true.

[1327] I'm not sexually attracted to penis.

[1328] I'm like...

[1329] You're baffled by them.

[1330] They're so funny, man. Oh my God, we found a video of a man running a long distance race and his entire penis and testicles are out of the side.

[1331] Completely out.

[1332] They're out.

[1333] I mean, every bit of it.

[1334] And the best part of it, besides how funny the penis and balls look bouncing around as the man runs, It's just the clear decision that this person made, like, yeah, they're fucking out.

[1335] Everyone can see them.

[1336] I don't give a shit.

[1337] I'm about winning this race.

[1338] It was kind of cool.

[1339] I just remember there's another fact about the elephants, but we don't have time.

[1340] Tell me. I have to look it up, so we don't have time.

[1341] Okay.

[1342] What was the fact?

[1343] I just remembered that you were talking about elephants, and I wanted to do some research about the elephants getting kicked out of the tribe.

[1344] Oh, yes, the adolescent males.

[1345] Yes, and that's going to be a longer conversation.

[1346] So we'll pick that up next time.

[1347] Yeah, and you can rest assured that one's real.

[1348] Oh, no, I believe you.

[1349] I just wanted to, like, deep dive on it.

[1350] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1351] That would have been a good deep dive.

[1352] But let's do it on the next one.

[1353] Okay.

[1354] All right.

[1355] Welcome to Los Angeles, Ashoka, Nirmala.

[1356] So excited.

[1357] From Kerala.

[1358] From Kerala.

[1359] From Kerala.

[1360] All right.

[1361] Love you.

[1362] Love you.

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