Welcome to the Con-gregation!

[0] Hey there, listeners.

[1] It's me, your old pal Konsey.

[2] That's what it says here in the text.

[3] Who wrote this?

[4] Who wrote this?

[5] Identify?

[6] Joanna?

[7] I wrote that.

[8] You think you can take liver.

[9] How long have you worked for me?

[10] You're relatively new.

[11] And already you're calling me Konesy?

[12] Four months?

[13] Okay.

[14] That seems like a four -month name basis.

[15] I know.

[16] This is a four -month plus.

[17] I don't know.

[18] What kind of alcohol were you drinking?

[19] I'm going to go with it.

[20] I like it.

[21] I like your style, kid.

[22] It's your old pal Konesy here.

[23] I'm here to share something special with you.

[24] We've added a terrific show to the Team Coco Network.

[25] It's called Scam Goddess.

[26] It's hosted by the very, very funny Lacey Mosley.

[27] Each week, she sits down with a guest to dish about the scammiest scammers in history.

[28] Con men, catfishers, fake heiresses.

[29] This show has them all.

[30] It's great storytelling.

[31] It's comedy.

[32] You actually feel like you learn something, even if you're learning about truly terrible and dishonest people.

[33] I, myself, had a chance to sit down with Lacey to talk about Jordan Belfort, the real wolf of Wall Street.

[34] You can check that episode out now, but if you're not ready to dive all the way in yet, here's a taste of the show featuring Lacey and the hilarious Nicole Byer digging into the story of the career con man Jeremy Wilson.

[35] I think you're going to like it.

[36] This is Jeremy Wilson's story, aka Finn, aka Angus Wilson.

[37] Okay.

[38] which he's a bald dude by changing the first name and not the last name because everybody knows and scam.

[39] You can track people by their last names.

[40] Right.

[41] And also, like, if you got to respond to a name, then you have to remember that name.

[42] So you got to constantly be like, oh, I'm Jeremy.

[43] I'm Finn.

[44] I'm Angus.

[45] Also, Angus is a nasty -ass name.

[46] It's fucking nasty.

[47] Finn is cute.

[48] Right.

[49] Finn is like, I would fuck with him.

[50] Okay, Finn.

[51] Angus, I don't trust Angus.

[52] Ever.

[53] Well, the story is Finn and Angela.

[54] Okay.

[55] So they meet for the first time on OKCupid.

[56] Okay.

[57] They meet up and they have their first date at Steak and Shake.

[58] Okay.

[59] Which is fast food, yes?

[60] Yes.

[61] Okay.

[62] Yeah, that feels, but she's 19.

[63] Okay, that makes sense.

[64] You don't have no money.

[65] You don't got no sense because, bitch, I ain't going to no damn steak and shake.

[66] If someone was like, meet me at stake and shake, I'd be like, you can meet yourself.

[67] Right.

[68] Take me at least to Red Lobster.

[69] Right.

[70] Somewhere when I got to present a check, bitch.

[71] I gotta go, we go into the counter?

[72] No, absolutely not.

[73] Absolutely not.

[74] But, so they go to steak and shake and they talk.

[75] He has an Irish accent.

[76] Is that sexy?

[77] Dating the guy with Irish accent.

[78] I fucked guys with Irish accents.

[79] Like, I can't do it.

[80] I sound like a pirate.

[81] Like, ar.

[82] That pussy's so good.

[83] Oh, your pussy taste so good.

[84] It tastes like corned beef and cabbage.

[85] It's a very bad Irish accent I think we sound like the pirate from SpongeBob Yes That's literally what I think Irish people sound like Well yeah so he has an Irish accent And Angela recalls it's not like a leprechaun It's like more She said musical Okay And that he was from Europe which made her interested in him Right The date lasted 16 hours Oh, Lord.

[86] That's how you know you 19.

[87] You ain't got nowhere to be.

[88] 16 hours?

[89] You don't have a job.

[90] I don't got 16 hours for nobody.

[91] You don't have to go back to school?

[92] What?

[93] 16 hours?

[94] Nobody's looking for you.

[95] Honestly, that, yes, she's young.

[96] She is young.

[97] There is no way I could talk to a man for 16 hours.

[98] About what?

[99] I don't know.

[100] Could a man talk for 16 hours?

[101] Absolutely.

[102] Right.

[103] I hope at least she got another steak.

[104] shake meal.

[105] I hope that he went back to the counter, got my bitch some frown.

[106] You got to get me dinner and breakfast.

[107] Yeah.

[108] Come on now.

[109] We need meals in between.

[110] So then she says, we had sex.

[111] Of course your young ass had sex.

[112] He took it to a damn steak and shake.

[113] Also, 16 hours.

[114] Yes, you have to fuck in those 16 hours.

[115] Definitely.

[116] At least get something out of this.

[117] You know what I mean?

[118] You had a steak and a shake and then you got a little.

[119] He gave you his steak.

[120] Ah.

[121] Mm. All right.

[122] So she said it was her first time doing BDS So they really bitch Y 'all jumped the gun on this one So was it 16 hours Because he tied her up and left her?

[123] Perhaps I mean why not First day get a little kinky The sex was spectacular That's what she said She says the sex was spectacular So at the time Finn was couch surfing and staying with a friend Who offered him more than just a place to sleep So also you're doing BDSM as somebody else's house So he's like a broke -ass Christian Gray.

[124] I would be so upset if someone tied me up and was like, we're going to fuck on this couch.

[125] I'd be like, oh, well, this is a little bit more private.

[126] Like, I'm very vulnerable.

[127] Right.

[128] You can't be fucking broke -ass Christian Gray.

[129] The whole reason that we was getting our ass beat by Christian Gray was because he had a yacht and a plane.

[130] He had some money.

[131] Yes, I'm going to be tied up on your boat.

[132] Hell yeah.

[133] Put on me up on the yacht.

[134] Put on your couch.

[135] But do not tie me up on the couch.

[136] Do not spank me on your couch.

[137] I need at least a door.

[138] You know, just a door.

[139] Also, like a roommate could come home at any time.

[140] Also, you couch surfing, the audacity.

[141] Oh, my God.

[142] If I had someone who was staying with me and I came home and they had a woman tied up on the couch and they were like, oh, we're going to fuck.

[143] Is that okay?

[144] I'd be like, you can get the fuck out of my house.

[145] Immediately.

[146] That's where you could fuck off.

[147] It's immediately.

[148] Mm -hmm.

[149] So when Finn applied for a new driver's license, he used his host's social security number and birth certificate, the one that he's staying with on the couch surf, right?

[150] In return, Finn had agreed to supply the man with a Walther handgun.

[151] So we live in America.

[152] Okay.

[153] This is in America.

[154] You can go to Walmart and get a gun.

[155] Truly.

[156] You can go anywhere.

[157] You can go to Dick's sporting goods and get a gun.

[158] Literally.

[159] You can go to McDonald's and probably get a gun.

[160] Probably get a happy meal, and instead of a toy, it's a gun.

[161] Right.

[162] So, and that's fucked up.

[163] I hate that that's how it is.

[164] But, like, why would you give away your identity?

[165] Yes.

[166] You literally said a gun.

[167] Just a handgun is worth more than my person.

[168] My life.

[169] Y 'all need to look at my booty hole.

[170] But as long as the gun comes with bullets.

[171] Insane.

[172] What?

[173] So this guy's an idiot, whoever this guy is.

[174] So this deal falls apart.

[175] He steals the identity and doesn't even give the man the gun.

[176] Okay.

[177] Finn is greeting.

[178] So seeking revenge, Finn's acquaintance, calls Angela's family.

[179] to warn them about his identity and criminal history.

[180] So the homeboy calls the house and is like, hey, your daughter been tied up on my couch getting the ass whooped.

[181] He unloaded now what is really his real true story.

[182] So he was scamming Angela at first.

[183] He did say his name was Finn, but he was like, all right, fuck it.

[184] Like, let me tell you the true, sis, because I'm into you.

[185] This is real love that we have.

[186] So, okay, my real name is Jeremy Keenan.

[187] He was 35, not 24.

[188] So he told her on the date that he was 24.

[189] and he was 35.

[190] That's disgusting.

[191] Also, like, bitch, that's 11 years.

[192] You couldn't tell.

[193] Yeah, right?

[194] You couldn't, it wasn't a rank or nothing.

[195] Was he white?

[196] Yes.

[197] Then she was in denial?

[198] But also, I will say this.

[199] As a kid in high school, every movie that we saw was 35 -year -olds, pretending to be high school year olds.

[200] And that's why I went to high school thinking everybody's beard was going to connect, and it did it.

[201] And I was mad.

[202] You were like, how come everyone has whiskers?

[203] Right.

[204] Where's my full beard?

[205] Who are all these bird -chested little boys?

[206] And where the fuck was Heath Ledger?

[207] Ain't nobody had no long hair, no jaw lines, nothing.

[208] A lot of zits.

[209] Ugh.

[210] A lot of badly dressed, little skinny, scrawny dudes.

[211] Right.

[212] So I understand why she might have thought that this 35 -year -old was 24 because...

[213] So wild.

[214] When I was in high school, you know, I got hoodwink, too.

[215] He hadn't gone to MIT.

[216] He told her he went to MIT.

[217] He'd been in prison, but he'd walked away from a work -release program.

[218] He walked away.

[219] So he escaped from jail?

[220] What do you mean?

[221] He walked away from a work release program.

[222] They said, all right, you can go to work.

[223] And he said, eh.

[224] That don't sound like he was released, do it.

[225] I didn't even catch that until you said it.

[226] Like, that don't sound like he was released.

[227] No, I think they let him outside and he was like, mm -hmm, I'm going to keep going.

[228] And then the guards were like, oh, well, he kept walking.

[229] They said it was a work release program.

[230] He said, you know what, I'm going to take the release.

[231] Yeah, I'm just going to go.

[232] But I'm not going to go.

[233] don't take the work.

[234] I'm just...

[235] Bye, bye.

[236] Thank you so much, though.

[237] Thank you for the offer.

[238] Camp goddess.

[239] Okay, you just heard host Lacey Mosley and Nicole Byer discussing the career conman Jeremy Wilson on Scam Goddess, the newest edition to the Team Coco Network.

[240] If you'd like to hear more, well, I know you do.

[241] You can find the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to this right now.

[242] Be sure to check out the episode where Lacey talks with yours truly, Conan O 'Brien, aka Coenzy, according to a very new employee who shouldn't really be calling me that.

[243] Anyway, Lacey and I talk about Jordan Belfort, the real life Wolf of Wall Street.

[244] I had a great time.

[245] Thanks, talk to you soon.

[246] Coenzy out.

[247] This has been a team Coco production in association with Earwolf.