All About Family Money Drama!

[0] Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build well, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[1] The phone number here is 3 ,8 -8255 -225, Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author, co -host of the Smart Money Happy Hour podcast along with a YouTube show, along with Mr. George Camel, and also my daughter.

[2] co -host today.

[3] Open phones at AAA 825 -5 -2 -2 -25.

[4] Nathan starts this hour in Anchorage, Alaska.

[5] Hi, Nathan.

[6] How are you?

[7] Doing well, Dave.

[8] How are you?

[9] Better than I deserve.

[10] What's up?

[11] Hey, calling in.

[12] Built a duplex with some family members last year.

[13] I got out everything I put into it, but I was supposed to get a paycheck at the end of the summer, and it never came.

[14] And the relationship with the family members hasn't been great after that.

[15] It's kind of curious what your thoughts on, what I should do.

[16] What did you learn from this process?

[17] But I don't want to do any deals with family anymore.

[18] Disagree.

[19] I disagree.

[20] I think you should have learned you don't want to do deals that aren't clearly defined and written down with anyone ever.

[21] because you guys did this out of your ear and your rear and don't even know what the other one agreed to.

[22] We had it written down.

[23] Oh, you do?

[24] You have a contract with your family member that they're violating.

[25] Yes.

[26] Why are they choosing not to pay you?

[27] Why are they defaulting on the contract?

[28] They're wanting to just extend the term.

[29] They're not wanting to pay out right now.

[30] And that's my parents.

[31] Okay.

[32] Why?

[33] Um, we can't pay right now.

[34] They don't have the money.

[35] They don't have the money.

[36] Okay.

[37] So how much do they owe you?

[38] About 110.

[39] Okay.

[40] And they're supposed to write you a check for $110 ,000 at the completion of the construction.

[41] Correct.

[42] And where did you think they were going to get this money when you signed the deal?

[43] Out of the loan that we signed on it?

[44] A mortgage?

[45] Both of you signed a mortgage.

[46] Yeah, the property is an LLC, which I own 50%, and parents on 50%.

[47] Okay, and the loan was taken out.

[48] Where did the proceeds of the loan go if they didn't go to you like they were supposed to?

[49] They went to my parents.

[50] What did they do with it, since they don't currently have any money?

[51] They pay off some of their line of credit that they used to finance the project.

[52] We knew they were going to do that at the beginning.

[53] didn't we?

[54] Correct.

[55] And then they pocketed the rest.

[56] How much was the loan for, total?

[57] Loans for about $3 .85.

[58] Okay.

[59] If they pocketed the rest, they have the money to pay you.

[60] Yeah, we spent about $360 on the project.

[61] We were supposed to get a check for about $63 ,000 at the end, and then they're wanting to to buy me out now, if that's what they tell me. And the whole check would be about 110 of my equity portion past the loan amount.

[62] Okay, that's a different story than you're talking about.

[63] You didn't talk about that 110 was a buyout.

[64] You said they owed you 110 at the end of the project.

[65] That's not true.

[66] Yeah, they owed me like 60.

[67] Okay.

[68] I think it was about 60 grand, and then the, the, uh, Okay, but you said the thing cost $360 and you borrowed $3 .85.

[69] Where are the flip do you think they're going to get $60?

[70] That's a $20 ,000 spread.

[71] I need a $70 ,000 spread.

[72] Correct.

[73] How many properties have you built?

[74] Were you the builder?

[75] I was the builder on it.

[76] Okay.

[77] Have you ever built anything before?

[78] I've built.

[79] I helped people build stuff, but this is my first owner -builder project.

[80] I have a general contractor up here.

[81] Yeah.

[82] Okay.

[83] okay um what are you 25 um i'm 22 okay all right um are they saying they will pay you back nathan like i just wonder if they even acknowledge like yeah we still we owe you about 30 grand and we want to buy you out but we just don't have the money for the or the 63 grand right now like do they acknowledge it when you talk about it yeah they acknowledge it but i haven't seen anything from it.

[84] I'm also not, they're, my mom manages the finances on the rent, like the rents are good and the tenants are AAA.

[85] One's a nurse that makes a bunch of money at the hospital and the other ones.

[86] Actually, missionaries for a church that, and the church was never going to default on that.

[87] Okay.

[88] The tenants are great and it covers the mortgage and all the expenses that I haven't seen and we've seen $1 ,000.

[89] Let me backtrack to the beginning of the deal.

[90] Okay, you signed up to build the property and the builder's fee that you were to be owed when the property was completed was how much?

[91] Right about $60 ,000.

[92] Okay, that's $60 ,000.

[93] And you signed up to build a property, and when you signed up, what was the budget for the property?

[94] What were you supposed to spend to build it?

[95] The budget was right about $4 .10.

[96] Okay, and who put in all this other money?

[97] Because you only borrowed $3 .85 at the end of the story, I think I heard.

[98] Well, yeah, so the budget was $4 .10, so I had a billed budget of $4 .10.

[99] And you built it for $360?

[100] For $360.

[101] So you came in $50 ,000 under budget?

[102] Correct.

[103] At the beginning of the story, you were supposed to get $60 ,000, the budget was $4 .10.

[104] and so you all originally planned to borrow 470?

[105] We originally planned to borrow because the property appraises for $5 .50 last year, and right now it's about $600 this year.

[106] What did you originally plan to borrow when you were promised $60 ,000, and they had a $410 budget?

[107] We were originally planned to borrow about $420 on it.

[108] That's not enough to pay both of those things, honey.

[109] 420 minus $410 is not $6 ,000.

[110] I think we found the problem.

[111] You've entered into a deal that you have no idea how it was structured because you can't even recant numbers back to me that makes sense on some basic addition and subtraction.

[112] The only way this deal would have worked at 410 is if you, and you get 60s if they had a plan to borrow 470.

[113] You follow me?

[114] Okay.

[115] Is that right?

[116] The 60 was coming out of the build budget.

[117] Oh, so 410 included the 60.

[118] Yeah, so my builder's fee, like my total bill.

[119] Okay, so you were supposed to build it then for $350 and instead you built it for $360.

[120] Yeah.

[121] So you went $10 over budget.

[122] But then that means there's still $50 ,000.

[123] But they didn't borrow $3 .85.

[124] I mean, they didn't borrow $4 .10.

[125] They borrowed $3 .85.

[126] Yeah.

[127] I think you guys put the house on the market and sell it immediately and both of you get out of it, what you can get out of it.

[128] And I think you have got to learn a lot more about business before you do another one of these transactions because you're having trouble even laying this out logically for us and I think that's the nature of the problem here.

[129] Yeah and this isn't this isn't to point blame but it does I'm like it kind of sucks he's a 22 year old kid goes in with his parents so you like there's a trusting process there and that's that's a hard that's hard to learn that's yeah except that he's blaming them for ripping him off and I don't think that's what happened this is the Ramsey show.

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[131] Hey good folks, the back to school madness is upon us.

[132] It's hitting us right now.

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[150] Thanks for joining us, America.

[151] We're so glad you are here.

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[164] Ah, Rebecca's in Toronto, Ontario.

[165] Hi, Rebecca.

[166] Welcome to The Ramsey Show.

[167] Hi, thank you for taking my call.

[168] Sure.

[169] How can I help?

[170] Okay.

[171] It's a bit of a complicated situation.

[172] I'll try to simplify.

[173] But I'm calling on behalf of my parents.

[174] Basically, we want to know if it's wise or even ethical to sell their matrimonial home.

[175] Basically, my father, he was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive growing up towards my mom, and then later from me and their brother.

[176] And it got so bad that I had to leave home.

[177] And then my mom joined me. That was five years ago, and he made it clear that we weren't welcome back.

[178] But prior to me leaving, my brother, he was away at university, and then he went back to with my dad.

[179] But he left home because he couldn't take it anymore, and now he's joined us.

[180] But we're struggling.

[181] Class of living in Toronto is extremely high.

[182] And so just all our friends and family are telling us it's not fair that this is our situation, and my dad gets to leave.

[183] live in the home, but at the same time my dad, he had a joke.

[184] Why is it not fair that your dad gets to live in the home?

[185] Because he was a jerk?

[186] That you give up your rights to home ownership because you're a jerk?

[187] Um, I'm sorry.

[188] He, like, he's, because he was abuses and he's not letting us back in the home.

[189] But it's not your house.

[190] Yeah, I mean, it's not in my house, but my mom.

[191] It's under her name, too.

[192] Mm -hmm.

[193] But she's a, she's a grown.

[194] up and that's her decision, right?

[195] Yeah, I mean, she wants to sell, but...

[196] That's her problem with him, right?

[197] What's it got to do with you?

[198] I just wanted to get advice to help them, to guide them, because my dad, he also had a stroke a few years ago, so he's not able to work, but he's independent, so that's kind of why we didn't push to sell the house as well, just so that he can live in the house.

[199] are they going to who's we to put who's we that's pushing the mom and the brother the family the family that left the abusive dad that is now living together i'm sorry your mom lives with you yes my mom and i miss that my mom brother and i okay but they've never gotten a divorce yeah i was going to ask is they're going to be a divorce um they're legally separated but right now so when the divorce happens then that's where things can really start moving with the home with okay with the equity that's there with what's owed to her, I mean, all of that, then he may be in a position where he would have to sell it in order to get proceeds for them to have, I mean, I don't know the divorce law in Canada, but that's where you can actually make legal action, Rebecca, but just you can't be on that.

[200] Here's what I don't want you to do, okay?

[201] And I kind of think, I think I heard this, but I might be wrong.

[202] You tell me if I missed it, okay?

[203] I'm willing to be wrong on this.

[204] I kind of think you still want to be able to, you need to, you still want to, you still want to be able to have a reasonable, logical conversation with your unreasonable toxic father.

[205] Right.

[206] And I want to help you that that's not ever going to happen.

[207] He's an unreasonable toxic human being.

[208] That's why all three of you have separated yourselves from him.

[209] Now, to expect him to suddenly be reasonable and non -toxic regarding a real estate transaction is not going to happen.

[210] Is that okay to understand?

[211] Yes, yeah.

[212] I agree.

[213] So the only thing this guy's going to do is when someone makes him do it.

[214] Agreed?

[215] Right.

[216] You're not going to persuade this guy to do anything.

[217] Right.

[218] Okay.

[219] So Rachel's right.

[220] When the divorce court drops the gavel and the judge says, sir, your house is going to be sold now, voluntarily or at auction as an order of the court.

[221] Then he will sell the house, but until then he will not.

[222] Right.

[223] Yeah.

[224] My mom, she wanted to get lawyers involved.

[225] We just don't have the money for that right now.

[226] Well, what is the house worth?

[227] Right now, probably close to $900 ,000.

[228] No, I think your mom's got the money then.

[229] Again, I'm like Rachel.

[230] I don't know Canadian law, but I suspect your mother has rights to half of that $900 ,000, does she not?

[231] Right.

[232] She would, yes.

[233] Okay.

[234] Why don't you all talk to an attorney, then talk to the attorney about getting paid when the house sells?

[235] Oh, okay, yes.

[236] And the attorney gets paid out of the house proceeds, and he goes, and files the divorce and gets the house sold under divorce court because I don't expect your unreasonable toxic father to suddenly become reasonable right yeah and we just wanted to know if it was ethical because of his stroke too like oh it's very ethical yeah it's ethical he'll have $450 ,000 with a stroke he can take care of himself okay yeah you guys you guys you're then the story you have told me is so sad that the three of you are still worried about this guy's happiness okay that's you know a therapist would call that codependence I'm not worried about his happiness I don't like him and I haven't even met him and I've only known about him for three minutes you know I hope he turns out I hope it's okay but I mean his own daughter is telling me this horrible story on him and his wife has indicated that it's true by leaving him and his son has indicated that it's true by leaving him and so your story is corroborated, right?

[237] Yes.

[238] I'm sorry, honey.

[239] I'm sorry y 'all have gone through this broken, twisted mess and I'm sorry the scars are going to take a while for all of you to heal from, but your need to support him or make him happy needs to stop today.

[240] You all need to take care of you guys.

[241] He lost that right from you guys.

[242] Yeah, he lost that.

[243] that he lost that and Rebecca and that's a you know and you kind of flew over but seriously like those types of environments um it's extremely damaging on many levels and so for you guys your mom to seek help and and to have somebody a professional talk to you Rebecca I'm like being being a child of that it's just it's I mean it's horrible so I mean making sure that you put yourself in a healthy spot as well especially on the emotional side not just you know this but even feeling like you have to take care of your mom too in this.

[244] I understand you guys are banded together, which makes complete sense.

[245] But making sure that you're, you know, navigating this well to bring in a professional too for you guys.

[246] Start aiming at what happiness 10 years from today looks like and what are the steps to get there?

[247] And making him happy is not one of the steps.

[248] I'll go ahead and tell you.

[249] Jesse is in San Antonio, Texas.

[250] Hi, Jesse.

[251] How are you?

[252] Hey, Dave.

[253] How's everybody do today?

[254] Better than we deserve, sir.

[255] What's up in your world?

[256] All right.

[257] Well, I'm trying to, I guess, prioritize saving and investing.

[258] I am probably in between baby steps three and four right now.

[259] I've got about 10 % of my income invested in retirement.

[260] I'm working on trying to get a down payment for a house.

[261] Good.

[262] And I'm trying to figure out how much I should prioritize the saving for the house versus putting money in investment.

[263] whether it's retirement or otherwise.

[264] I wanted to see what your advice was on that.

[265] Do you know how long it will take you to save up for a down payment, the kind of home you guys are looking at in your budget?

[266] A year, maybe two.

[267] Okay.

[268] I honestly would probably, because it's that short, I would probably pause investing, even the 10 % and save up that down payment.

[269] Real fast.

[270] Whether it's 5 or 20%, and then once you guys have that saved and you're in the housing process of buying the home, then I would press play and invest 15%.

[271] of your income into that.

[272] You know, we call that Baby Step 3B around here.

[273] Yeah, and so I was looking at that, and I was like, I wasn't sure whether that meant hitting the pause button.

[274] It doesn't.

[275] It doesn't always.

[276] Sometimes people, sometimes people keep doing the 10%.

[277] Yeah.

[278] But Rachel's saying in this current housing environment, it's a cool thing to go ahead and get into the house because they're continuing to go up in value, continuing to go up in cost.

[279] They're not going down.

[280] And so short -circuiting some of that by piling up.

[281] the down payment as fast as possible is not an unwise suggestion it's a good suggestion this is the ramsie show so here's a quick math refresher there are only 24 hours in a day so your business needs to streamline tasks that are time suckers and focus on activities that make money so to reduce headaches as they scale smart businesses use net suite by oracle the number one cloud financial system.

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[285] That's netsuite .com slash Ramsey.

[286] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality is my co -host today.

[287] It is a free call anywhere in North America.

[288] Thank you for joining us.

[289] Today's question comes from Jenny in Illinois.

[290] Jenny says I'm a single woman and I rent an apartment in a great city.

[291] I'm very happy here as it is close to my work, my church, and most of my social activities.

[292] I have no desire to own my own home because I'm afraid I have to have maintenance and long care people on speed dial and to buy something even remotely afforded.

[293] affordable, I would have to move way outside of town.

[294] Is it okay to rent forever?

[295] I hear you talk about a paid off home being a large piece of people's net worth, but is it still possible to build wealth if you don't own a home?

[296] So yeah, I mean, I think the biggest piece in this Jenny is looking far in the future.

[297] And I always look to when it comes to retirement time, the singular expense that continues to go up that you will not have control over is your house, is your housing.

[298] So rent will continue to rise.

[299] And if you own your home and you pay it off, then that's an expense that you don't have and it's continuing to work for you building equity.

[300] So it is a part of your financial, you know, picture that I would want you to have a part of it.

[301] It doesn't have to be today.

[302] It doesn't have to be in the next five years.

[303] But eventually, I would have homeownership in your financial picture for many reasons, but I think mostly when you look towards times like retirement, you won't have to have that expense that continues to rise and you actually have an asset for you.

[304] I can completely endorse that where you are today in your life, Jenny, that this particular situation makes sense.

[305] It sounds like you got it made right now.

[306] There's nothing wrong with that at all.

[307] It just doesn't scale long term.

[308] So here's the problem.

[309] You know, she's, she doesn't say how old she is.

[310] Let's just say she's 30, okay?

[311] Every single year from 30 to 70, your rent's going to go up.

[312] Or your landlord's asleep at the wheel.

[313] They will die, and the next person will jack it through the roof to make up the difference.

[314] But the value of the rent goes up every single year from age 30 to age 70.

[315] Your most expensive line item in your budget is housing.

[316] so the most expensive line item in your budget is out of your control variable and increasing that is not scalable that's not sustainable long term again what rachel said if you want do it for four or five years i think you got a good gig go ahead and do it for four or five years but that let's not translate that to is it okay to rent forever it's okay but it's going to kill you because what you're paying in rent now is nothing compared to what it'll be for 40 years from now.

[317] I think we can all agree with that.

[318] And so when you buy, if you buy on a fixed rate 15 year, you now have a fixed payment for a property.

[319] It doesn't have to have a lawn.

[320] It can have a be a condo.

[321] You have a fixed rate.

[322] And then when you get paid off, you have a fixed rate, which is zero other than your taxes and your property insurance, right?

[323] Those are two things that will go up as well.

[324] But they don't, they're a much smaller percentage.

[325] And they don't end up being the largest thing in your budget anymore, usually.

[326] And I will say this too, Jenny, you know, that it doesn't have to be a, you know, a single family home.

[327] If you're, if you are single, you don't need a lot of room.

[328] It could be a condo, right?

[329] But owning property that you eventually own full out is, is what the key is.

[330] Yeah.

[331] That's the goal.

[332] I don't want you to confuse the fact that you've got a really good situation right now, and I endorse you staying there with a forever plan.

[333] It's not a good forever plan.

[334] It's a really good short -term plan, though.

[335] I would sit there and I wouldn't let your friends shame you into buying something.

[336] And that's what's happening.

[337] And people are going, you got to buy a house.

[338] You don't have to buy a house right now.

[339] You've got to not got a bad deal.

[340] But you do need to stabilize the most expensive line item in your budget before it gets out of control and starts messing up your life.

[341] I mean, can you imagine being 70 years old and broke and your rent goes up every month, every year?

[342] Yeah, that'd be no fun.

[343] San Francisco's calling.

[344] And that's Valerie.

[345] Hi, Valerie, how are you?

[346] Hi.

[347] I am so, so, you.

[348] Things are good and sound friends, huh?

[349] Oh, my gosh.

[350] Oh, my gosh.

[351] What is up with Valerie?

[352] Well, excited as I am to talk to you.

[353] You know, I got some troubles, of course.

[354] So I filed for bankruptcy, and I believe it was, everything was discharged either May or June.

[355] I can't remember the date, the this year, because it was a little problem and they were missing a paperwork, and so they, whatever, we got that cleared up.

[356] So I believe the discharge was probably May, I mean, June instead of May. But I realized that how do I build my credit up without getting a credit card?

[357] How do I build my credit back up?

[358] I know that it was a mistake now.

[359] Wait, wait a minute, Valor, you went deeply in debt and got bankrupt.

[360] Why are you wanting to go back in debt.

[361] I don't want to go back in debt.

[362] Well, what is credit for?

[363] Well, yes, I do write that.

[364] If you don't have a, if you, credit score is used only for one thing going into debt.

[365] Right, right.

[366] You build it only by going into debt.

[367] And you just got discharged from debt.

[368] Why are you so itching to get back in?

[369] Well, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, honestly, honestly, I'm going to call you Uncle Dave.

[370] Uncle Dave, honestly.

[371] I'm not trying to get back in debt.

[372] I just, I own a house with my four other siblings, and me and my sister live in the house, and we're paying for the house, and they're paying the insurance and the tax.

[373] And we all pay the insurance and the taxes on the house.

[374] Well, I want to be able to come out of this house because this house is what got me into debt, trying to fix stuff, and then we had a guy that we knew he was a contractor.

[375] He is a licensed contractor, but he screwed me and my sister.

[376] over and I ended up going into debt trying to not have holes in my house, not have water flowing from the kitchen.

[377] And so it was construction that it was construction, Valerie, that got you to the point of bankruptcy.

[378] It wasn't, you know, credit card debt or car loans or everything else.

[379] No, well, you would, you would tell me that my car loans are, you know, ridiculous.

[380] My car loan is ridiculous.

[381] So it wasn't just construction.

[382] but it was really the issue of we had water damage and when he went in to fix all of that and redo the kitchen they gave us the money to redo the kitchen he okay stop stop stop you had a crisis you had a mess and you used debt to fix it and then you called me after filing bankruptcy and said how can I go back into debt no I'm not Oh, yeah, that's what you did.

[383] Well, building credit.

[384] Hold on.

[385] Okay.

[386] There's only one way to build credit, and only one reason to build credit, and that's to go back into debt.

[387] So you're telling me, don't worry about it.

[388] If you're not going to borrow money, if you're not going to borrow money, you don't need credit.

[389] And, you know, there will be things, Valerie, that they may pull your credit, right?

[390] If you apply for a job, sometimes they will pull your credit report.

[391] If you're, for cell phone companies, sometimes will pull your credit report.

[392] Renting an apartment, you know, there's different times in life.

[393] Yes, they will pull your credit report.

[394] Yes, but you can do life without it.

[395] Yeah, but a credit score, you can live without.

[396] You can do all of those things without a credit score.

[397] It may be harder, right?

[398] There's going to be some workarounds, but it is possible.

[399] The only real reason that you need it is if you're going to go take out a loan, right, for a car or something else.

[400] And if you want a home later, you can do what's called manual underwriting and there's a process there.

[401] But for you, Valerie, I want you, you have a lot of things going on.

[402] And I like your energy.

[403] And I want to channel that energy to change in completely the way you've been doing money.

[404] and even like the mindset of even credit like there is a totally different system out there that does give you control it gives you peace it gives you a plan it gives you guidance and it's and it's going to be it's going to be a change a mental change but if you're ready for that i mean i'm going to have christian pick up and i would love to give you financial peace university our seven or nine lesson course on money uh every dollar premium our budgeting app the total money makeover 20 year you know anniversary uh addition I would love financial peace.

[405] Yes.

[406] So let's.

[407] You go through that.

[408] Christian, I'll pick up.

[409] And that'll answer your question.

[410] Yeah.

[411] What were bank.

[412] But when I went through bankruptcy, honey, it wasn't any fun.

[413] And I decided what caused it.

[414] It was borrowing money that caused it.

[415] I had a lot of reasons for borrowing money.

[416] But the end of the day, very few people file bankruptcy that are debt free.

[417] This is the Ramsey show.

[418] These days, it's not if your identity gets stolen.

[419] It's when.

[420] And the only ID theft protection plan.

[421] I have ever recommended is from Xander insurance.

[422] It helps real people with real life situations.

[423] Like the call we got on the show recently where a woman's abusive ex opened a credit card in her name and racked up over $8 ,000 in debt.

[424] Then the bank sued her, even though the charges weren't hers.

[425] What a mess.

[426] With Zander's help, she was able to get the entire nightmare cleared up and now her family is officially debt -free.

[427] Listen, Zander's identity theft protection is the best option out there.

[428] They have all the cyber tools and monitoring services you need.

[429] They cover all types of ID theft, and they even include up to $2 million in stolen funds protection.

[430] In the end, though, you need an ally.

[431] Someone on your side to take over the work and fix the problem.

[432] That's what Zander is all about.

[433] Go to zander .com to learn more or call 800 356 -4282.

[434] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality is my co -host.

[435] I'm Dave Ramsey.

[436] This is The Ramsey Show.

[437] Open phones at Triple -8 -8 -25 -5 -2 -2 -5.

[438] James is in Fort Lauderdale.

[439] Hi, James.

[440] How are you?

[441] Hey, guys.

[442] Thanks a lot for taking my call today.

[443] Sure.

[444] So my question is, I'm a W -2 employee.

[445] I've been pretty bothered by the amount of income tax I pay.

[446] I've been investing into a Roth 401K because of your teaching.

[447] My company does match 3 % of the 6 % of up distance.

[448] up to 6 % good um but i feel it makes sense to do a traditional 401k for the tax savings and invest the difference of the savings into a backdoor Roth IRA but i want to see what your thoughts are on that well the math doesn't hold up okay let's just take a simple example okay i'll just make up and i'm not not you but let's just use an example okay if you save a hundred dollars a month from age 25 to age 65 in a decent series of gross stock mutual funds you'll have somewhere around a million dollars okay if you do that in a Roth a hundred percent of it is tax free if you do that in a traditional you're going to pay taxes on a hundred percent of a million dollars which will be somewhere around 350 ,000 dollars so instead of having a million you'll have 650 after the government however let's add that up okay 12 times 100 is 1200 right okay follow me okay times 10 years would be 10 ,800 right times 40 years which is what we're the period of time we're talking about would be right around $50 ,000 so you saved taxes on $50 ,000 meanwhile you got to pay taxes on one million dollars that's your traditional numbers let's see so I'd be saving now just not later yeah but you see when you get to the million dollars what my point is is 95 % of what's in there is growth not what you put in and you're only saving taxes now on what you put in now if you want to get real nerdy about it you could run a present value calculation on that 50 ,000 bucks, but it still doesn't make the point.

[449] But if you had invested that $50 ,000 in a backdoor Roth somehow, like is that, what does come out to?

[450] It still doesn't offset the fact that you've got $350 ,000 in taxes.

[451] Okay.

[452] Well, wouldn't it, don't I pay taxes on the withdraws on the back end?

[453] Like when I am not on a Roth, no. Roth is 100 % tax -free.

[454] No, on a traditional.

[455] On a traditional.

[456] As you pull the million dollars out, you're going to pay taxes on a million dollars, which is $350 ,000.

[457] If you did it in one year or 10 years, you're going to pay out $350 ,000.

[458] I see.

[459] But what if I'm living off less than I'm making right now, but later?

[460] And you're in a lower tax bracket?

[461] Correct.

[462] Well, if you can help me find a place in the history of the United States of America, when taxes go down permanently, I'll go with you on that.

[463] But taxes don't go down.

[464] They go up because Washington has an ever -increasing appetite for my money.

[465] So, James, I think the argument is by the time you retire, even if you're in a lower tax bracket, that lower tax bracket is probably going to be the same.

[466] Well, here's the other problem.

[467] Or lower than it is today for you.

[468] Yeah, here's the other problem.

[469] Okay.

[470] Let's pretend you didn't just do $100.

[471] Let's pretend you did $1 ,000.

[472] dollars.

[473] Well, now we're dealing with $10 million.

[474] Your mandatory withdrawals are going to keep you in the highest tax bracket.

[475] And by the way, on the Roth, you don't have mandatory withdrawals.

[476] Oh, I don't.

[477] No, we have a required minimum distributions at 72 and a half on traditional.

[478] You have zero requirements on Roth.

[479] So I'm sitting here with a several hundred million dollar net worth and $100 million, probably, I don't know, not quite, in Roth.

[480] But guess who will, guess when I will take that money?

[481] out for that Roth.

[482] I'm 63.

[483] You know what I'm going to pull the money out of that Roth?

[484] Never because it can go to my next generation tax free.

[485] I'm going to let the sucker sit there and grow.

[486] I'm 63.

[487] Let's say I lived in 93.

[488] That's another 30 years.

[489] All that money is going to grow tax free and then it's going to be handed to the next generation tax free.

[490] Not true with traditional and inherited IRA is taxable.

[491] So it screws up your estate plan.

[492] And if you do really good and you save a whole bunch, you're going to be in a high tax bracket.

[493] Doesn't seem to matter which way you vote.

[494] Both of them screw it up.

[495] Okay.

[496] So I'm just telling you, man, anything you can do to keep the government from controlling the money, the distribution of the money, or taxing the money, you're always going to come out ahead because you're so young and smart.

[497] The beautiful thing about what you're asking is, you're actually thinking about it.

[498] Way to go.

[499] And you're actually running numbers and asking very intelligent questions.

[500] You came to the wrong conclusion, but you're asking great questions and you're paying attention.

[501] So I can tell you this, from having done this for 35 years, you are going to be wealthy.

[502] Because even if you did this wrong, you're going to end up with a lot of money.

[503] I have a question.

[504] For the average listener out there, that's not going to build a massive company and not going to have your income.

[505] Okay.

[506] Right.

[507] There are more just like, yeah, I'm going to retire.

[508] And I am going to use the money, but I'm actually going to retire, and that's my retirement plan, is to use that money.

[509] Okay.

[510] Not saying this, me to your money.

[511] I'm saying the average person out there.

[512] So talk that out, right?

[513] Okay, let's say you got a $5 million, so you got a $5 million net worth.

[514] Yeah.

[515] Or a $2 million net worth.

[516] But here's the thing.

[517] If you start at his age, it's going to be difficult for him to not end up with $5 million because he's paying attention.

[518] Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

[519] But anyway, the power of compound interest is magical.

[520] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[521] So anyway, but your point is, let's say we talk about our typical millionaire and they've got a million five net worth.

[522] Between 401k and Roths.

[523] $600 ,000 house and they got $800 ,000, $900 ,000 or whatever in their Roth IRA and they're going to start drawing it out.

[524] Now, what's your question about that?

[525] Yeah.

[526] So when you were saying, yes, you're still going to be paying taxes on.

[527] I mean, the argument still stands when you just went.

[528] No, you're not going to pay taxes on it.

[529] If you did a traditional.

[530] If you got a tradition, you still don't pay taxes on that 900 grand.

[531] Exactly.

[532] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[533] It would still be the traditional route.

[534] But the lower tax bracket, high tax bracket, still, the argument stands that it'll probably still be the same.

[535] Well, you've got to see, it's hard to compare a lower tax bracket was zero.

[536] Roth is zero.

[537] That's the lowest possible tax bracket.

[538] Right.

[539] So, I mean, I don't care how low the tax bracket is because the 50 ,000 created the $900 ,000 in our, $950 ,000 in our scenario.

[540] It was the seed that grew $950 ,000 worth of corn.

[541] And so what's it you end up with because of compound interest when you start in your 30s or 20s particularly is 95 % growth in your nest egg when you get there.

[542] Yes.

[543] So how that growth is taxed really matters.

[544] And here's the other thing.

[545] It's probably even then not going to draw it all down.

[546] So let's say you've got 900 ,000 bucks and you live off of 10 % of it and it's growing at 12%.

[547] Okay?

[548] So 10 % is 90 ,000 bucks a year.

[549] You're going to live on 9 ,000 bucks a year and never touch the nest egg.

[550] So that 900 is likely passed.

[551] Yeah.

[552] As in it from a state planning perspective.

[553] Totally.

[554] 100 % tax free versus if that 900 was traditional and you lived off in $90 ,000 a year and you paid taxes on the $90 ,000 a year because it's taxable, but at a lower tax bracket, but not zero.

[555] And if you did that, then you still are going to leave $900 ,000.

[556] If you never touched the principal and just lived off the interest it created, the growth that created, you're still going to leave $900 ,000.

[557] all taxable to your kids because an inherited IRA is taxable and the new rules require that you pay all the taxes out within 10 years on it under the Secure Act.

[558] Thank you, Joe Biden.

[559] And so there you go.

[560] I mean, that's new rules that just you cannot drag your inherited IRA out.

[561] You've got to cash it out because those people want your money and they're not going to let you keep your money if you structure it in a way.

[562] What's the death tax?

[563] The death tax is an estate tax.

[564] Okay.

[565] It means I've already paid income tax on all this money.

[566] And is that on top of that, you have to have a minimum of that, right?

[567] Yeah, 20 million.

[568] Oh, okay.

[569] Yeah.

[570] But if you get 40 million bucks, or you get 120 million bucks, you get taxed on 100 million at death.

[571] There's a lot of taxes.

[572] That you have already paid taxes on.

[573] That's why they call it the death tax.

[574] Because you're taxing people who already paid taxes, but they're too dead to do anything about it.

[575] This is the Ramsey Show.

[576] Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions.

[577] It's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[578] The phone number here is AAA 825 -5 -225.

[579] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co -host today as we answer your questions about your life and your money.

[580] Aaron is with us in Salt Lake City.

[581] Hi, Aaron.

[582] How are you?

[583] I'm wonderful.

[584] How are you?

[585] Better than I deserve.

[586] What's up?

[587] I am 58 years old.

[588] My father's 83, and we farm together.

[589] He still come to the farm five days a week.

[590] Three years ago, I lost a leg.

[591] We have about $150 ,000 in cattle, and the cattle prices are high.

[592] I would like to sell the cows.

[593] that are just too much work and they don't normally generate a lot of income not the income for the work that they take if you're going to sell beef this would be the time to do it i agree well that's what we're talking about um and he has been against selling the herd off and i'm done how long he had the herd we're farm no 20 years yeah yeah he don't want to sell the family their family yeah you know they are and and i enjoy them I'm not that much Three years ago And I'm just I'm on crutches I've been 11 weeks on crutches And I've had it Trying to farm 600 acres of ground With crutches is ridiculous It's crazy How'd you lose your leg I was in a car accident And got diabetes From a car accident 21 years ago I'm sorry I'm sorry Aaron I hit a motorhome head on I'm here because of seatbelt A lady hit us and then push it into a motorhome, 29 feet later.

[594] Oh, my gosh.

[595] It's been an experience.

[596] It's a roller coaster.

[597] Do you have family?

[598] Are you married?

[599] I'm divorced 11 years ago.

[600] I basically lost all my wealth that had accumulated in a divorce.

[601] My wife had a traumatic brain injury in the accident.

[602] And after 25 years of marriage, I just can't handle the stress.

[603] And I'm an entrepreneur.

[604] I've always been self -employed.

[605] Okay, so if you sell off the cattle, they'll bring how much?

[606] About $150 ,000.

[607] You said that, I'm sorry.

[608] And they're paid for.

[609] Yeah.

[610] And your dad, he didn't want to do that because of what?

[611] Just because he knows it's probably the last time he'll own the herd of cows.

[612] Yeah.

[613] But he's to the point now that he realizes that this is a good, if we're going to sell, this is a good time.

[614] It is definitely that.

[615] It's the timing issue for sure.

[616] It is.

[617] You don't want to wait until next spring and then go, Dad, blame, we missed that.

[618] That's right.

[619] They're worth double what they were two years ago.

[620] I know.

[621] Yeah.

[622] Okay.

[623] Let me let's try this.

[624] Let's try this out.

[625] Okay.

[626] Sometimes when we're making decisions like this, we feel like that they're more permanent than they have to be.

[627] Let's pretend.

[628] Let's pretend we sold the cattle.

[629] for $150 ,000, and you and I are both of the opinion that cattle prices are probably not going to continue to go up.

[630] They generally, like all agricultural prices, go up and down, and they are at an unusual high, so it's fairly easy for, you know, a non -economist like you and I to predict that probably next spring they'll be less.

[631] Agreed?

[632] Agreed.

[633] Okay.

[634] Let's pretend that you could buy that same herd next spring for 100.

[635] If you sell off the cow, if you sell off the cows, you still got the land.

[636] Next spring, you're miserable.

[637] Your dad's miserable.

[638] He's 84 and he's miserable because he doesn't have any cows.

[639] Well, take some of the 150 and buy the cows at half price that you sold and buy them back.

[640] Makes sense.

[641] But here's my question.

[642] And we have commercial real estate on the interstate, on I -15.

[643] Is that anything to do with the cattle?

[644] It does, because what I want to do is if I take the cash, I'm going to get taxed pretty heavy.

[645] Because I've carried over losses in the past.

[646] Last year, the price was high enough when I sold the cattle.

[647] I erased all my losses.

[648] So I'm not carrying any losses from the past.

[649] Yeah.

[650] So everything I sell is going to get taxed pretty heavy.

[651] And you can't do anything about that.

[652] Well, can I buy, can I build a commercial building on the property IRA?

[653] to own on the interstate.

[654] Nope.

[655] And take this $150 ,000 and convert it into a building.

[656] Nope.

[657] You can, but you're still going to pay the taxes.

[658] It doesn't have the taxes at all.

[659] The commercial building is depreciable on a depreciating straight line asset at, you know, at 27 years.

[660] So, you know, if you spend a million dollars, you can write off one 27th of that.

[661] Okay.

[662] Not going to help you.

[663] That was my question.

[664] Can I hide?

[665] There's no tax shelter for this, because you've already blown you through your losses, which were legitimate losses.

[666] I mean, you really lost the cash.

[667] It wasn't like a tax shelter.

[668] It was lost money.

[669] For livestock, what is the tax?

[670] We live poor and die rich.

[671] Yeah, yeah.

[672] I mean, I live on a thousand.

[673] It's what my budget is.

[674] What's your farm work?

[675] worth.

[676] $13 million.

[677] Oh.

[678] Dave, I have lived on a strict budget for $1 ,000.

[679] Are you the sole heir?

[680] No. Well, no, not on the main farm.

[681] I have on an LLC, I have 107 acres of commercial real estate that's in an LLC.

[682] That's your.

[683] My dad and I are equal parts.

[684] Oh, I see.

[685] Okay.

[686] And the first guy that dies, the remaining guy, get through it all.

[687] Okay.

[688] And I think my dad might outlive me. Sounds like there's a chance.

[689] Pretty healthy.

[690] If I'm in your shoes, I ask myself, if I had $150 ,000 cash in the middle of the table, would I go buy cattle right now at an all -time high?

[691] Answers no. Sure.

[692] That means I'm going to sell them.

[693] And even if you don't sell them all, even if you don't sell them all, I would sell 80 % of them.

[694] I agree.

[695] And get it down to where the daily chore is more manageable because we've got a guy with an amputation and a guy that's 83 trying to handle 150 head of cattle.

[696] It sounds like an impossible task to me. And that has over $10 million of land.

[697] You're going to be okay.

[698] Just to hear moving.

[699] Enjoy your, enjoy yourself.

[700] Yeah, you guys really ought to put this in a position where you can enjoy something here.

[701] You've earned the right.

[702] Rachel's right.

[703] both of you.

[704] Well, I've taken three vacations in 30 years.

[705] Yeah, what's the $150 ,000 worth $150 ,000 is what they're worth?

[706] That's what you said, okay.

[707] It's not $150 ,000.

[708] Well, we've got 100 head, and they're worth about $1 ,500 a head.

[709] Yeah, okay, so it's $150 ,000.

[710] That's what I would do.

[711] And it's not because I hate cattle farming or anything like that.

[712] Dude, we have an 83 -year -old and an amputee.

[713] You told me what's going on.

[714] I mean, this sounds like a, it's, there's not the fun, left the building on managing this cattle.

[715] Elvis left the building, man. So, yeah, I'm, and if you hate it, you can buy them back next year at pennies on the dollar.

[716] Probably.

[717] That's my, and that's worth exactly what you paid for it.

[718] This is the Ramsey show.

[719] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality is my co -host today.

[720] Selling a house, the Ramsey Way makes homeownership a blessing instead of a curse.

[721] Buying a house, the Ramsey Way makes homeownership a blessing rather than a curse.

[722] it is tough out there right now on the real estate market it is tough to buy it's an interesting time prices continue to go up and there is a shortage of houses there's an inventory shortage and so that's why prices continue to go up and and yet it's there's people buying in other words it's happening more people buying than selling so if you're a seller in a weird market like this you need someone representing you that's going to help you maximize the asset and not think crazy about what you're going to pull off here if you're a buyer in this market you need someone to talk sanity into you if you get in one of these bidding wars and that's a that's a high end high octane high producing real estate agent that knows their stuff and that's the only ones that are ramsie trusted i got my real estate license in 1978 and so i know what a real estate agent looks like that is a high performing professional, and I know one looks like what I call a donut eater.

[723] They sit around eat donuts and talk about real estate, but there's a difference.

[724] So who's going to sell your, who's going to sell your most expensive asset?

[725] Your aunt who just got her license three weeks ago and she's sweet or somebody that sold 150 houses last year.

[726] Nick say on the aunt say, I'm just saying, okay, no way.

[727] Don't do this.

[728] All right.

[729] go to ramsysolutions .com slash agent and get a ramsay trusted real estate agent to help you with us you'll be glad you did allan's with us in phoenix arizona hi allan welcome to the ramsay show hey how are you man thank you so much for taking take a more call sure what's up um so um got an upside down loan in a car that kind of ran into my car loan now and sitting down trying to look at everything that we pan here in Arizona of course everything is going up um that's like one of our biggest bills that we got the car don't is like 695 with like 6 .9 uh inches rate on it uh we just trying to figure i don't want to do a uh repo i just need to try to get that payment down somehow some way what do you all on the car leverage, $32 ,000.

[730] Okay.

[731] Have you looked up what it's worth on private sale on Kelly Blue Book?

[732] Yeah, we even took it to like Carvana.

[733] Now, Carvana is going to pay you wholesale.

[734] They're going to pay you wholesale.

[735] Yes.

[736] Yeah, CarMax.

[737] I mean, they told her that it was worth 22.

[738] Okay.

[739] That means it's worth 27.

[740] Okay.

[741] Not because CarMax is trying to rip you off.

[742] CarMax is in the business of buying cars at wholesale and selling them at retail.

[743] That's how they make a living.

[744] Mm -hmm.

[745] And so they never, why would they pay someone retail for a car?

[746] They sell cars for retail.

[747] And so if they're willing to buy it from you for 22, you can rest assured it's worth 27, which leaves you $5 ,000 in the hole.

[748] How stinky is your credit?

[749] That's bad.

[750] It's like $5 .15, and that's why I can't refinance.

[751] Who's the car loan with?

[752] It's with Toyota Finance.

[753] it's a 22 Toyota camera okay so somebody told me about sub leasing it to somebody no no somebody's a fool no no okay okay and why well because if they don't pay it you still owe it and they won't pay it yeah you're taking the risk on somebody else who buys a car on sublease somebody can't buy a car any other way because they're too screwed up and screwed up people that are so screwed up, they can't buy a car any other way, ain't going to pay your sub -lease, and then you're going to get screwed again.

[754] You've been screwed enough on this car.

[755] We need to stop it, okay?

[756] So, wow.

[757] What do you make?

[758] What's your household income?

[759] So I make 50 myself.

[760] My wife, she's a hairdresser, but she recently just got a job at a call center.

[761] She makes 18 an hour.

[762] Okay.

[763] So how much other debt have you guys got?

[764] So when I looked at everything with my kidney transplant and all that type of stuff, my credit alone, I owe like $17 ,000 right now.

[765] Your kidney transplant.

[766] Is that like medical bills?

[767] Medical bills, yes.

[768] You had a kidney transplant.

[769] Yes, sir.

[770] Kidney and pancreatic transplant three years ago, four years ago.

[771] Wow.

[772] How are you doing?

[773] I'm doing good.

[774] God is good.

[775] They called me a miracle.

[776] because they say a lot of people don't get called for a kid.

[777] Yeah, I'm thinking after you've been through that, a car payment ain't no step, right?

[778] Yeah.

[779] Man, that's something else, Alan.

[780] Okay, so here's the answer to your question.

[781] Here's what I'm fishing after, all right?

[782] Answer your question is we need to sell the car.

[783] In order to sell the car for $27 ,000, we need $5 ,000 to put with it to be able to pay the car off, right?

[784] Oh, okay.

[785] And that gets rid of the whole stinking problem.

[786] them and then we go save up and get a thousand dollar hoopty until we can get some money saved to move up out of the land of hoopty but right now you're i mean because dad gum man with what you're paying a month you could save some serious money towards a car 10 months of your car payment to buy a seven thousand dollar car man right yes sir wow so i that that's the world you're living in so we've got to get rid of the this camry do you have any money saved allan anything so that was another question of mine but but They only said I had to ask one.

[787] That's a very concern of mine because I got children.

[788] I get depressed about it.

[789] I'm 42 years, and me and my wife, we have no savings.

[790] We live in Arizona in a two -bedroom condo, and it's 1 ,800 a month, and we just, we don't know what to do.

[791] It's just like we don't know how to go about it, if that makes sense.

[792] Yeah, it does.

[793] I've been right where you are, man. It's not fun.

[794] I haven't been with the pancreas kidney thing, but oh my gosh, I've been with the rest of it.

[795] I've been where you are.

[796] I know what it feels like to be scared.

[797] I was still working full time doing that, too.

[798] So it was such a journey.

[799] And so, you know, by time my bills, I paid and everything like that, it's kind of highly enough to save anything.

[800] Okay.

[801] So here's the deal.

[802] Let's just close our eyes for a second, right?

[803] If you had $25 ,000, your whole life would be different.

[804] You'd be 100 % debt -free and out of this car.

[805] You'd have paid off all the medical bills and be out of this car and be selling it if you had $25 ,000.

[806] Right?

[807] I would, yep.

[808] Right.

[809] So $1 ,000 a month is $25 ,000 in two years.

[810] Okay.

[811] $1 ,000 a month extra jobs, $1 ,500 a month extra jobs, get you out in 18 months.

[812] Okay.

[813] I need you to save up $5 ,000 and sell the stupid Camry as soon as possible, and then just continue cracking that whip on that $17 ,000 from then on, and let's be done with this thing.

[814] And get you a cheap -o, cheap -o car.

[815] I don't want you to drive a cheap -o car the rest of your life.

[816] I want you to get rid of this thing that's killing you.

[817] Okay.

[818] And it's not with the CarMax or Carvana.

[819] It's selling it to an individual for 27, not for 22, but you've got to have the money to cover the difference because you can't get the title to give to the buyer if you don't pay off the bank.

[820] Toyota's got your title.

[821] So the moral of the story, Alan, I think, you know, the conclusion is what's going to help get you guys out, the fastest is raising your income.

[822] And if you can do something evenings and map it out too, because this can feel always really overwhelming, but just to say, okay, on average, if I work an extra three hours a night for five nights a week, you know, what is that going to equal in money?

[823] If that's driving Uber, if that's Instacart, whatever it is, you know, find some side hustle stuff and kind of map it out and just say, okay, how much do I have to work for us to get to a goal of $1 ,000?

[824] And then timeline that out, just like what Dave did earlier, and then say, what if I did?

[825] $1 ,500 a month, right?

[826] Like, start running those numbers and actually write them down.

[827] You and your wife sit down, and that, and your $50 ,000 doesn't even count her salary.

[828] So maybe there's a challenge for you guys lifestyle -wise to take her income and throw it, yep, all of that.

[829] Everything at this.

[830] Throw everything at it.

[831] We're cheering for you, Alan.

[832] Yeah, so you're hanging on.

[833] We're going to put you through Financial Peace University.

[834] And then I want you to call us back as you're walking through this.

[835] If you've got other questions, you get some money piled up and you don't know exactly what to do, holler.

[836] we'll help you man we've been scared too we know what it's like this is the ramsie show rachel cruz ramsey personality is my co -host today open phones at triple eight eight two five five two two five we're talking about you your life and your money and we talk about you right in front of you it's a free call at triple eight eight two five five guys we could use your help and a bunch of you have been helping us and we want to say thank you to those of you that have helped and thank you in advance to those of you that are going to how can you help us uh you can click subscribe on the platform follow on the platform that you're consuming this show share the show send a link to someone or tell them where you're listening and tell them they got to go check out the show thank you for sharing it when you hear when you read a good book or you see a good movie you tell your friends when you see one that stinks you tell your friends don't bother Right?

[837] So tell your friends.

[838] Either one's fine with us.

[839] We hope we hope we're a good book.

[840] And apparently based on the numbers that are coming in on YouTube and on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts, our ratings across the board are way up.

[841] Thank you guys for spreading the word because you're basically our marketing plan.

[842] We really don't have one.

[843] You're it.

[844] We either help you and you tell people or we suck and we go out of business.

[845] So one of those two things is going to happen, right?

[846] So thanks for hanging out with us.

[847] We appreciate you very, very much.

[848] Open phones at AAA 825 -5 -225 Missy's in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

[849] Hi, Missy.

[850] How are you?

[851] Hi, Dave.

[852] This is Missy.

[853] Yeah, so I was calling because I'm not sure if we should put our assets in a trust or just a will.

[854] We have rental properties, and we just want to make sure that everything that we have, we get to pass on to the kids, and it doesn't get used up like in a nurse.

[855] home or something like that, if we were to end up there.

[856] Okay.

[857] Well, to start with, let's just back up before we got to nursing homes, and let's just say everyone needs a will.

[858] Okay.

[859] If you're 18 years old, you need a will.

[860] A will directs things.

[861] Sometimes it directs an existing trust.

[862] Sometimes it creates a trust upon your death.

[863] I have a bunch of LLCs for my rental properties and other things that I own.

[864] I use it for risk management more than estate planning, but I don't, because I don't want any single entity to have too big a target on its, but for lawsuits purposes, okay?

[865] Okay.

[866] So we spread our wealth around into different LLCs, and we also have trust.

[867] Most of our trusts that we have are for estate planning purposes, but they're a pretty complicated trust because our estate is over 20 million.

[868] Is your estate over 20 million?

[869] No. I estimate our rental properties in total are about 900 ,000, and our home is about 140 ,000.

[870] And then in investments and stuff, we have about 300 ,000 in, like, liquid cash.

[871] Excellent.

[872] Excellent.

[873] Way to go.

[874] You're millionaires.

[875] How old are you?

[876] I'll be 50 this year.

[877] How much of this to y 'all inherit?

[878] it.

[879] We really didn't inherit hardly anything.

[880] My parents are both gone.

[881] Oh, you did it the old fashion way.

[882] You earned it.

[883] Yes, yes.

[884] We have a small construction business.

[885] Good for you.

[886] Okay.

[887] So number one thing, number one thing you want to protect your estate from with a will is just outside influences like the government telling you what to do with your money.

[888] Instead, your will, you know, it is my will that this piece of property go to my child that's why that's where the name will comes from it is expressing what your will is what your desire is you follow me yes and and so but you turn it into a written document what your desire is and that's called a will a last will the last thing i wished for my last will the thing i willed was that you uh kiddos get this property okay so that's the first thing the second thing your wills and trust are used for is to avoid a state tax federal estate tax federal estate tax does not kick in until 20 million dollars so you don't have a federal estate tax problem okay yeah uh the third thing you're wanting it to do is to avoid nursing home and i'm going to talk you out of that okay because there's two types of nursing homes there's nursing home that the government provides to people that are poor it's called welfare okay you don't want to live in subsidized housing i assume no and you don't want to go to that nursing home either i do not okay so what you need is you need some money to pay for the nice restaurant instead of the junkie restaurant yes okay so that that's you need long -term care plan and you can buy a at 60 years old, you can buy long -term care insurance that'll cover about three years worth of a nursing home stay.

[889] And by the way, the average nursing home stay in America is right at two years.

[890] Because usually once you get there, you don't last long.

[891] That's true.

[892] Okay, statistically.

[893] Sorry, guys, but that's how it is.

[894] If you're heading over there today, sorry to hear you this story.

[895] But that's the thing.

[896] So, you know, the second thing you can do, of course, is just to have some money to take care of you.

[897] A nursing home will cost somewhere today between $75 ,000 and $100 ,000, $110 ,000 a year depending on what you want, how nice a home you want, okay?

[898] Now, if you've got $2 million and it's creating $150 ,000 a year of income without touching the $2 million, and you will have that before you get there, then the income off of your assets will provide you a very nice nursing home.

[899] Nursing homes don't come and take your assets.

[900] The only time that happens is if you got $200 ,000 to your name and Papa goes into the nursing home and burns through the nest egg and then dies and then Mama's sitting at home with no money.

[901] Yeah.

[902] But the nursing home didn't take your money.

[903] You gave it to them to provide care.

[904] Okay.

[905] And so it's just like, you know, the restaurant doesn't take your money.

[906] You gave it to them to get food.

[907] Yeah.

[908] You're purchasing.

[909] Was there another way you were thinking of that, Missy?

[910] Well, she's trying to hide the assets to where she gets free nursing home from the government, right?

[911] Well, I'm fine with paying for what I want.

[912] I just don't want to just leave nothing to my kids.

[913] Yeah.

[914] Well, if all that your stuff does is take care of you and your kids get nothing but a good example, that's okay.

[915] But it's better if you can set yourself up to do that.

[916] Now, in my case, I'm 63.

[917] I don't have long -term care insurance because I won't be going to a nursing home.

[918] why because i have enough money to hire somebody to live in my house and take care of me god bless that person and i'll be come and taking care of it i'm thinking i'm thinking rachel's not signing up for this because my daughter won't be coming to care for me so i will have to hire someone i will because my daughter will be the care of me but that poor nurse Grumpy old Dave Come on You all think he's grumpy now He gets grumpier the older he gets too If you just go back a few years But talk about a trust That because the will can inform the trust You said that earlier Here an example would be a simple one Would be if you have a special needs child And you're going to leave money into a trust To take care of the special needs child That's a special needs trust That would only be formed upon your death okay you wouldn't need to form that ahead of time as an example okay or if you wanted to leave money and try to control when your kids got some of the money you could leave it into a family trust and say okay junior until junior grows up and goes to college and gets all bees or whatever he doesn't get any money or whatever whatever you want to whatever verification you want to put on but in the will she can have for the rental properties in an LLC and upon her death her husband's death the kids the LLC can be past the children absolutely So that helps with the rental side.

[919] You just leave those assets to the person that you want, or people that you want them to go to.

[920] Our rental properties, when Sharon and I are both gone, will be going to the kids.

[921] Yeah.

[922] And Rachel's husband.

[923] But you don't need a formal trust to do that in her case.

[924] It can be just through a standard will.

[925] Yeah, a will will will take care of that.

[926] So you need to go see an attorney and have a will drone.

[927] And you need to do it within the next 30 days.

[928] Don't put this off.

[929] people put this off and it's not good i'm afraid i might die you're going to die you need a will everybody needs a will we did research nobody gets out alive you need a will this is the ramsie show rachel cruise ramsi personality nursing home care student she's my co -host today open phones at triple eight eight two five two two five has officially declared me to be a old, crotchety, horrible patient.

[930] I might be the nicest old man on the planet.

[931] There are nice old men.

[932] Dave's going to be in this studio.

[933] Just get off my long.

[934] At 92.

[935] I'll be down here doing the show.

[936] We've joked about this.

[937] He's going to, you know, it's going to start to get like, oh, I don't know if Dave could go live on the air.

[938] I don't know.

[939] It's going to get that time.

[940] And he's not going to give up.

[941] If you know, Dave, never give in, never give in.

[942] So we're going to have to, we're going to have to, Well, my answers will just get shorter and shorter.

[943] I'll just say.

[944] But our joke has been, we're going to be like, Dave, you're on the air from noon to one.

[945] Come to you.

[946] And we all like, we have fake callers.

[947] And then we're like, good show.

[948] The show never airs.

[949] Good show, Dave.

[950] Way to go, Dave.

[951] And then he walks out of the building and goes home.

[952] That's our plan.

[953] America, that's our plan.

[954] See, the problem was now you've announced the plan and now I'm on to you, see.

[955] I wouldn't have called on.

[956] get about it.

[957] Don't know.

[958] Don't worry.

[959] Oh, man. No, it is weird.

[960] It is a weird thing when you see your parents get older.

[961] My answers are going to get shorter and shorter.

[962] I'm eventually just going to say, stop it.

[963] Next call.

[964] The old Bob Newhart routine.

[965] Remember that?

[966] Just stop it.

[967] That'll be $5.

[968] Stop it.

[969] Why'd you do that?

[970] That's dumb.

[971] Stop it.

[972] That'll be my answer to everything.

[973] Sounds like the show now.

[974] You're wrong.

[975] So funny.

[976] So fun.

[977] Noond of one.

[978] The show, by the way, for those of you don't know, but begins at one every day and runs to four central times.

[979] So their little fake show that they're setting up to take care of the old man later is never going to be on the air.

[980] I'm just that y 'all may not have realized the time we air this thing.

[981] Amber's in Dallas, Texas.

[982] Hi, Amber.

[983] How are you?

[984] Hi, I'm doing.

[985] Okay.

[986] How are you?

[987] Better than I deserve.

[988] What's up?

[989] Good.

[990] Yes.

[991] Yes, so I was calling because I've been having a struggle trying to make a decision on my car, and I got a lot of moving parts, but my car is 17 years old, and it just started overheating again for the third time two days ago.

[992] So I really can't drive in more than about five minutes.

[993] I did take it into the shop, and they are estimating it will be about $1 ,800 to repair it.

[994] They say that it needs a radiator.

[995] And my guess is the car is not worth $1 ,800, right?

[996] I think if the car didn't have a problem, it might be worth $3 ,000.

[997] So I'm, like, conflicted because of my situation, you know, financially and personally, like, if I should, repair it, go ahead and repair it and try to find a new vehicle soon, or if I should just go ahead and try to get a different vehicle.

[998] Do you have any money saved?

[999] So I have, I think I have about $35 ,000 saved.

[1000] I don't work right now, though.

[1001] I called before.

[1002] It's kind of crazy that's happening to me, but I'm unable to work right now.

[1003] I have a baby, and I'm trying to get back to work, and I also have a disability.

[1004] So all I have is $35 ,000 left in my savings.

[1005] I do have some stocks that I'm also wondering if I should be considering doing something with that.

[1006] How much do you have?

[1007] How much are they worth?

[1008] They're worth about $25 ,000.

[1009] Okay.

[1010] Okay.

[1011] I would go buy a $4 ,000 car and I would sell this car.

[1012] Okay.

[1013] Are you in a good church?

[1014] I'm trying to do that now, yes.

[1015] Okay.

[1016] Are you, you're not married, I take it.

[1017] No. Okay.

[1018] Do you have family in the area?

[1019] No. Okay.

[1020] That's crazy.

[1021] I need you to find, and the reason I was asking about church was not to be, not to rub your nose.

[1022] and something, but I'm trying to connect you to community somewhere because I need you to find an old ugly uncle that will stand in with you and help you on this car search, okay?

[1023] Not because you're not capable, because I think you are capable, but because sometimes when people are selling cars, they will treat a sweet young lady differently than they will your old ugly uncle.

[1024] They'll be more intimidated by him and tell the truth and not try to sell you something that's a pile of crap, okay?

[1025] So I need somebody to kind of go with you, go shopping.

[1026] The second thing the old ugly uncle might be able to provide, and this is a stand -in uncle, it's not going to be your real uncle in this case, right?

[1027] But they may be able to provide some automotive expertise that you don't have.

[1028] so for instance i mean i'm old and ugly and if i went and bought a whole bunch of cars in my life if i went with rachel to go buy a car i can probably tell her some things about a car and she's perfectly capable of buying a car well and i would say this too um also amber is fine if you can ask around from like a great mechanic like somebody that owns a shop and knows this who can like just again and maybe it maybe the inspection of the car if you go on your own and find a car right that that you take it to a reputable mechanic that you trust and that's known right like i i totally hear what you're saying but also like yeah i think about about the price and the type of car is it going to be sustainable because i don't want you to necessarily buy something that's a cool car for four thousand dollars i want you to find something that's reliable because you've had it with unreliable right well she's 17 year old car though so a nice you know a nice Honda accord that's old a Camry that's old or two cars, for instance, that would stand up.

[1029] And those cars will run 300 ,000 miles if they're taken care of.

[1030] They may run more.

[1031] And so if you buy one that's in the $4 ,000 or $5 ,000 range and you pay cash for it, that's going to be an okay move here.

[1032] That is not really your issue, though.

[1033] Your real issue is you have to find a way to start creating some income because you don't have a sustainable situation.

[1034] You're going to run out of money.

[1035] Right.

[1036] How much of this savings, Amber, are you using monthly?

[1037] Like, how much are you dipping into this?

[1038] Yeah.

[1039] Monthly is about $2 ,000 a month.

[1040] Yeah, so you've got 17 months and you're baked.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] That ain't cool.

[1043] That ain't cool.

[1044] We need a plan, girl.

[1045] What were you doing before you had the baby?

[1046] Before I had baby, I was doing DoorDash, and I had a very small studio.

[1047] that was only like $850 a month.

[1048] I was very lucky.

[1049] But as you've been talking about, they went up kind of really high on the rent.

[1050] It was like, like, you know, they were like, oh, we've been charging you to too little.

[1051] So they increased it a whole lot.

[1052] Your only income was DoorDash?

[1053] My only income at that time was DoorDash because I was going through like a disability, multiple disability cases, like Social Security and long -term disability.

[1054] So that's where the 30, it was 80 ,000, but now it's down to 35 ,000.

[1055] That's where that came from.

[1056] You're watching it during the Lois.

[1057] We have to have an income.

[1058] Right.

[1059] You have to solve your career problem.

[1060] What's the nature of your disability?

[1061] So I have multiple sclerosis.

[1062] So I'm trying to work with a vocational rehab, I guess specialist to try to figure out something that I can do you know that's a good move that's a very wise move yeah so that's what I'm doing now it just takes so long ticket through all of the stuff yeah well and MS has fatigue that goes with it yeah absolutely yeah yeah well I think that's what I want you do let's get somebody you know get some community around you to walk with you, and that includes that vocational rehab specialist, and it also includes anybody that can encourage you on the income side of the equation, because I don't want you to not deal with this and look up and have zero.

[1063] Yeah, but sell your car as is.

[1064] Sell your car as is.

[1065] And take some of the money, get a $5 ,000 or a $5 ,000 car, and get something reliable, reliable.

[1066] I don't care if it's ugly.

[1067] All I care about is it's reliable.

[1068] Reliable, Reliable, Reliable.

[1069] This is the Ramsey Show.

[1070] Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work, that they love and create actual amazing relationships.

[1071] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co -host today.

[1072] Open phones at AAA -825 -2 -2 -25.

[1073] You jump in.

[1074] We'll talk about your life and your mind.

[1075] Jill is in Las Vegas.

[1076] Hi, Jill, how are you?

[1077] Hi, I'm good, thank you.

[1078] Good.

[1079] How can we help?

[1080] I'm just kind of like my mind is in like in chaos right now.

[1081] I'm on the verge of wanting to divorce my husband, basically to try to keep it short.

[1082] But for the whole last year and this year, he has been kept me in the dark in our finances.

[1083] Like I wasn't allowed to have access to his account or any of the accounts.

[1084] And he would kind of occasionally give me money weekly.

[1085] But anyways, I was like, hey, it's time to get a new house because we have a three -year -old that needs his own bedroom.

[1086] So we pulled out money from the HELOC, and he was, you know, very up to pulling that money out.

[1087] Why would you pull money out of a HELOC to get a new house?

[1088] Why don't you sell your house?

[1089] Well, we were going to keep this house to rent it out and charge double because the rental market in my area is about $2 ,300, and I mortgages only $1 ,000.

[1090] Well, that's before you took out of HELOC and before you had expenses.

[1091] But let's go ahead, okay.

[1092] Yeah, and so we were going to take the HELOC, put money down on another home, and, you know, live there.

[1093] but between December to May, I didn't know that he had actually gambled all of the he luck.

[1094] And I found out, too, that we have like $20 ,000 worth of credit card that were all cash advances.

[1095] So he obviously has a gambling problem.

[1096] Yes.

[1097] What kind of gambling is he doing?

[1098] He does slot machines.

[1099] and when you all talk about this what does he say um he doesn't he well when i found out i was like where did our helock go i was like um well first i found out about the $20 ,000 loan from like seven different credit cards and i was like okay you know what like take our he lock pay it off with that because the he lock is only 9 % and all the credit cards are like 23 or 29 % and he's like well the helac's gone and then I was like wait okay start over what happened to our helot you mean gone like completely gone and he's like yeah there's only like a thousand dollars in there and so he told me where it went and I was kind of in shock and then I said okay you need to go to Gambler's Anonymous but she refuses and he says I have no problem I can do it I'll just give you all the money I'll transfer it from my account to your account and you handle all the bills.

[1100] But a big part of me just feels like he calms me into getting the the heel up so that he could have access to cash and he burned through it really quickly.

[1101] So now we have this house that was only a $1 ,000 mortgage.

[1102] Now it's $3 ,200 mortgage and now we have no money to go get a new house or even pay for repairs for this house.

[1103] And all the whole time, I've been living like, you know, 90 ,000 a year.

[1104] What do you make?

[1105] I don't make anything I stay at home.

[1106] I did sell a couple of real estate, I mean, a couple homes last year, $18 ,000 last year.

[1107] But since he didn't give me any money, I kind of burned through that and paid off things.

[1108] How do you think we can help you best today?

[1109] Um, I guess just, is that, was, since that's not his only addiction, in 2018, he had to go to rehab and finally, he will stop drinking.

[1110] But I feel like just with so many addictions that I've had to tolerate, like, is that grounds for a divorce and falling the house?

[1111] And then we could be free and clear of debt.

[1112] Yes.

[1113] It is grounds for that.

[1114] Um, but, um, the, um, the, um, the, um, um, the, um, um, the, um, um, um, the, um, um, I'm.

[1115] The thing is this, until he puts addiction of all kinds in the rearview mirror, and unless he puts addiction of all kinds in the rearview mirror, you're going to have hell on earth.

[1116] Yeah, it has been.

[1117] Yeah, and it's not going to get any better.

[1118] It's getting worse every day.

[1119] And so I'm going to work on it myself as the famous lie of every addict.

[1120] Okay.

[1121] Okay.

[1122] No one destroys their whole financial situation when they have a three -year -old at home that is logical.

[1123] That's not logical.

[1124] It's financial suicide.

[1125] Only an addict commits financial suicide.

[1126] And 100 % of addicts eventually are broke.

[1127] And most of them die from something associated with the addiction.

[1128] And we've worked with addicts for 30 years.

[1129] We are not addiction specialists, but I'm afraid I've watched them a long, long time.

[1130] 100 % of them are liars, 100 % of them are manipulators, and 100 % of them are eventually broke and stay broke.

[1131] So the only answer, the only solution to that is to not be an addict anymore.

[1132] And that means get help and put the addiction in the rear view mirror.

[1133] A gamblers anonymous, counseling, strong support systems, social systems around you, changing the picture, changing the look, changing everything, and the cocaine, the heroin, the alcohol, the gambling, the pornography is in the rearview mirror.

[1134] It's the only chance that the family has and that the addict has.

[1135] And this is not something you fix on your own, bubba.

[1136] that ain't how this works it's got control of you it owns you and you have to have some help to get this demon off your back you can't do it by yourself and it's just obviously if you coulda you woulda because you wouldn't have screwed your whole family over no one does that on purpose it's an out of control person that does that so jill your position if you were my daughter or my little sister.

[1137] I put my arm around you and say, uh, he's already got two strikes.

[1138] If he doesn't get in counseling and doesn't start taking some hard strides towards putting this in the rearview mirror, and that includes he doesn't touch money ever again for the next four years.

[1139] You touch all the money.

[1140] You handle every bit of it.

[1141] He doesn't see any of it.

[1142] You explain it to him.

[1143] You show him where it went.

[1144] You can be transparent with it where it happens, but he hands his paycheck over to you.

[1145] He has no hidden accounts, no lies, no side credit cards, no side girlfriends, no bull crap.

[1146] And keep yourself protected, too, Jill.

[1147] Yeah.

[1148] And if he won't turn it over to you and go get in counseling, you're going to have nothing but hell on earth because he's just lying again.

[1149] Sorry, but that's just the hardcore.

[1150] There is no middle ground with folk in these situations.

[1151] Man or woman.

[1152] Doesn't matter.

[1153] And so.

[1154] In that case, you're protecting yourself, Jill, and your child.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] And you've got to start talking about what kind of career you're going to have to sustain your life as a single mom.

[1157] Because 100 % of addicts are eventually broke.

[1158] 100%.

[1159] That's a horrible stat.

[1160] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, is my co -host, open phones at AAA 825 -5 -225.

[1161] Peter is in Toronto, Ontario.

[1162] Hi, Peter.

[1163] How are you?

[1164] Hi, good.

[1165] Thank you.

[1166] Good.

[1167] How can I help?

[1168] So my question is, I recently inherited some money from my father who passed away, and it's enough money to pay off the mortgage on the house.

[1169] And my question is whether I should do that or invest the money in investments like in Canada, it's not an IRA.

[1170] It's an RRSP.

[1171] Right.

[1172] And, you know, things like that.

[1173] And we do have, I have two children.

[1174] I'm married.

[1175] I'm 60.

[1176] My wife is 55.

[1177] We have 11 -year -old twins.

[1178] And so, you know, we do have a college account for them.

[1179] We have an investment fund for them as well.

[1180] But so there's only enough money to either pay off the mortgage or not.

[1181] The wrinkle in the question is, is, you know, to be born, my wife is a compulsive shopper.

[1182] So we've been married 16 years, and we've gone to counseling on this issue a number of times, and, you know, she promises to change and to stop, and it doesn't change.

[1183] My wife's parents are not wealthy, but they were, you know, comfortably middle class.

[1184] they were very wise with their money.

[1185] So when we got married, they actually bought the house as a gift for us that we live in.

[1186] It's in my wife's name alone.

[1187] I didn't realize how much credit card debt she had racked up, and it was in the hundreds of thousands.

[1188] So we ended up having to get a mortgage on the house to pay off.

[1189] the credit card debt.

[1190] And that mortgage is in both of our names.

[1191] The, you know, we're paying right now, it's an adjustable rate mortgage.

[1192] We're at 8 .34 % the bank is saying that they're going to raise the rate soon.

[1193] You know, like money -wise, it is kind of paycheck to paycheck.

[1194] so paying off their debt on the mortgage.

[1195] So let me get this straight.

[1196] If you take your inheritance from your father and pay off the mortgage from your wife's compulsive spending in a house that's in her name.

[1197] Yes, but the mortgage is in both of our names.

[1198] I know, but now the house is free and clear and it's not in your name.

[1199] Yes.

[1200] That doesn't end well.

[1201] I'm not worried about that.

[1202] Why?

[1203] Well, a few reasons.

[1204] One, our marriage is strong.

[1205] When?

[1206] When was your marriage strong?

[1207] Your wife is a compulsive shopper, runs up $100 ,000.

[1208] How do you call that a strong marriage?

[1209] Yeah, yeah.

[1210] Yeah.

[1211] So, no, I'm not paying off someone else's house who has an addiction.

[1212] Yeah.

[1213] How easy is it to get your name?

[1214] on the deed.

[1215] I'm just curious.

[1216] That doesn't fix her issues, but I'm just from an asset perspective.

[1217] Well, she could, you know, with her permission, add my name to the deed.

[1218] I am not, I'm not the kind of person who fights over money, and I wasn't asking you to fight over money.

[1219] I was asking you to be wise.

[1220] Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

[1221] Her parents, I love her parents very, very much.

[1222] And by the way, her parents are actually - That has nothing to do with it.

[1223] Well, I would feel, you know, they - Peter, you guys are married.

[1224] Okay, so if you're going to share in assets and share paying off her debt, you have just of a right to have your name on the assets of your marriage.

[1225] You're not being greedy in that sense.

[1226] Not an unloving act towards her.

[1227] No. By the way, we're paying off her debt.

[1228] Wasn't your debt.

[1229] she ran it up yeah okay i mean her her argument would be that it was for necessities for the house the thing is she over by so you know like children's clothing our kids had a hundred thousand dollars yeah dozens and dozens of shirts and pants and you know stuff like that right if we're talking ten grand we can probably nitpick if it was right or wrong but a hundred grand i mean that's that's an obvious crazy number.

[1230] I mean, that's, that's wild.

[1231] Oh, and by the way, it was under the cloak of darkness.

[1232] You didn't know what happened.

[1233] Yeah, it was hidden.

[1234] So Peter, I want to go back to the I didn't realize.

[1235] Yeah, I didn't realize.

[1236] Like, I saw stuff coming in, but I, like, I would probably to are married.

[1237] Do you guys, besides that, um, that card specifically or that whole $100 ,000 in general, are, do you guys talk about money or do you all have a budget together?

[1238] Like, do you, do you kind of, do you know what's going on or does she just handle the money?

[1239] How does it work in your marriage?

[1240] So she has always handled the money.

[1241] Okay.

[1242] And before our marriage, I never had credit card debt.

[1243] You know, like once in my life when I was very young in my 20s.

[1244] Sure.

[1245] Do you have access, Peter, to your accounts?

[1246] Like, do you check in on the accounts and kind of have a pulse of what's going on at all?

[1247] You know, I do, now that our kids are a bit, when the kids were young, like we were barely getting any sleep and, you know, with both of us working full time, we were exhausted.

[1248] But now that the kids are more self -sufficient, I feel like I have the time now that I can start.

[1249] Okay, because that's what I would, that's my encouragement to you, because we find this so often that one spouse in the marriage takes the weight of the money.

[1250] They're the ones that pay everything, know everything, do everything.

[1251] And to a degree, that spouse has so much pressure and responsibility.

[1252] It's very isolating.

[1253] And that's been your wife.

[1254] Now, I'm not justifying at all her stuff of 100 grand of going into credit card debt and you're not knowing all of it.

[1255] But also, you didn't know because you don't know what's going on.

[1256] So, Peter, you need to step up in this and sit down and be a team together.

[1257] And you're a very kind person.

[1258] But when you said, I'm not the kind of person that fights with money, these are the fights you need to have because your marriage needs a level of unity and a level of agreement that is so that is so deep that you guys are on such a level of vulnerability and honesty that it may come up there may be some fights and that's okay conflict is okay and this is the area of your marriage you need to be fighting about peter and not not being irrational and angry and hurtful but man you you you need to step into this yes peter you really i mean she may feel very a long in it.

[1259] And she acts out, you know, for whatever reason in this way.

[1260] But just, I'm just saying you need to step in.

[1261] And I would say that to any caller when it comes to marriage.

[1262] You guys need to be more of a team.

[1263] And that's going to be a, that's the exact reason you want to push into this because it's going to create a better marriage.

[1264] It really will.

[1265] It's going to not be fun at first because you're going to be, you guys are going to be maybe, you know, back and forth with stuff.

[1266] But that's what creates a level of intimacy because you're doing it together.

[1267] So So, enablers, people who, psychologists or therapists label as an enabler, as I've worked with them over the years, they're the nicest, sweetest people.

[1268] They don't want to cause a ripple.

[1269] They don't want conflict.

[1270] They want everybody to be happy.

[1271] And the irony is that it's the most hurtful thing that you can do to not cause the conflict, because the conflict is where healing comes from.

[1272] and again not a raging angry conflict but a conflict based on strength and wisdom and so what you're thinking about doing is just trying to hide this lump under the rug again by paying off the mortgage leaving it in her name which is absolutely ridiculous dude that's just nuts okay with what you've described here and you think then it's all going to be okay if you just keep being nice it's all going to be okay if i keep being nice it's going to be okay i love her mom and dad they're sweet people i wouldn't want to hurt them if i keep being nice it's all going to be okay and dude it's a classic it's a classic case study and so you've confused nice by being so nice you've actually caused harm and you didn't mean to you would never cause harm intentionally but i want you to be the surgeon that cuts so that there's heat you're healing.

[1273] A little hurt so that there's healing.

[1274] A little conflict so that there's healing.

[1275] You don't pull the splinter out.

[1276] It's going to fester.

[1277] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one bestselling author, and my daughter is my co -host today.

[1278] Open phones at AAA -25 -5 -225 in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt -free stage.

[1279] Luke and Arizona are with us.

[1280] Hey, guys, how are you?

[1281] We're good.

[1282] Welcome.

[1283] Where do you guys live?

[1284] Just north of Bowling Green, Kentucky, a little town called Owensboro.

[1285] No exactly where it is.

[1286] Welcome to Nashville.

[1287] So you're about an hour and some change out.

[1288] Yes, sir.

[1289] All right.

[1290] Cool.

[1291] How much debt have you guys paid off?

[1292] We paid off $25 ,500.

[1293] Very good.

[1294] And how long did that take?

[1295] About one year.

[1296] Good for you.

[1297] And your range of income during that time?

[1298] We started at about $105 ,000 and went up to about $15 ,000 during that period.

[1299] Very cool.

[1300] What do y 'all do for living?

[1301] I'm a teacher I teach eighth grade social studies and I coach football and wrestling as well and then I work for a university called South University I'm an admissions representative online remotely for them oh very cool good for you guys how long you two been married one year on Monday oh happy anniversary thank you well well well then one year ago you look up and you got $25 ,000 worth of debt what was the debt student loans small things yeah mostly student loans mostly student loans okay and you get ready to get married and you go okay we got student loans tell me the story what happened here what made you decide first thing first order of business when we get home from the honeymoon is this debt's going away well I guess we were kind of looking at things and talking about like what life would look like whenever we were married and finances came up and you know I've always known about the Dave Ramsey show and I've listened to it with my dad since, you know, I was probably five years old.

[1302] And we were kind of talking about it.

[1303] I said, well, here's, here's a plan.

[1304] You know, and if we, whatever plan we decide to do, we need to stick with.

[1305] And I convinced her to try the Ramsey way and then we, you know, we got to it and paid it off.

[1306] Yeah.

[1307] Just like that.

[1308] Just like that.

[1309] Just did it.

[1310] Yeah.

[1311] What did you think, Arizona?

[1312] Were you like, okay, I can, I can do this.

[1313] She's a strange man. I'm getting ready to marry.

[1314] The student loan, was it more, whose was it?

[1315] that was me okay so it was mostly yours okay so so you were like we got we're going to pay this off and so what did you think about it all i was terrified um i would say more than anything like he came into the conversation so excited he's like we're going to listen to this podcast and it was funny because on the way to get engaged he played the podcast for half of the 14 hour drive for like the book um total money makeover so i was i was like please can we listen to some music he was like can you turn this guy all we're going to listen to this and so it's It became kind of, you know, common practice and common conversation in our household.

[1316] Like, we would go to do something or get a trip or something like that.

[1317] We'd be like, Dave wouldn't like that.

[1318] So great.

[1319] Okay, so what did you guys do?

[1320] You're a newlywed couple.

[1321] What were like the things that really helped you knock out the $25 ,000?

[1322] I think for me, the big thing was he is very passionate about, like, our future, not only for ourselves, but for our kids.

[1323] So it was a big deal for me because, number one, we both want to.

[1324] create a life for our family to be able to give them something to look forward to or give them something financially.

[1325] But during the process, we were very fortunate to, you know, we both have great jobs, but on top of that, we sold a vehicle and purchased another one with cash and used the proceeds of the first vehicle that we sold to pay a huge chunk of that off.

[1326] And then the rest of it we paid with savings that we had basically gained by living off one income during this period of time.

[1327] Oh, that's smart.

[1328] Okay.

[1329] Yeah, you were able to look at that and just live off one.

[1330] That's great.

[1331] Well done.

[1332] Thank you.

[1333] What do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is?

[1334] Be intentional.

[1335] Yeah.

[1336] Yeah, to communicate.

[1337] Yeah.

[1338] Even when it's hard because I like to take cruises and like go on the case.

[1339] I'm a big carnival cruise fan.

[1340] And so anytime that there's a deal email that comes through, I'm like, look, Luke, this would be awesome.

[1341] He's like, no, not right now.

[1342] Not until we get this cleaned up.

[1343] Yeah, exactly.

[1344] exactly very cool good for you guys I'm proud of you who was cheering you on as you went through this honestly my parents we we kind of talked about that we were doing the Dave Ramsey plan but we really kept it to ourselves like between like our friend groups our friend circles you know if someone asked us then we would you know kind of tell them that we were following Dave Ramsey but then we wouldn't other than that we didn't share with a whole lot of people we just kind of kept it to ourselves and make sure that we communicated together that's so great well what advice would you give a newlywed couple who's starting this journey, what would you say to them?

[1345] I would probably say...

[1346] Unsubscribe from the cruise line.

[1347] Yeah.

[1348] Don't get on Carnival Cruises email list.

[1349] It's not good for your wallet.

[1350] No, I would say above all, like, it's more about the connection that we've grown together in the last year.

[1351] You know, we actually just purchased a new home and paid off our previous home with us, like we sold enough to pay that 20 % down on our next home.

[1352] and we close hopefully next week.

[1353] So this last year has been so full of ups and downs for us, especially in your first year of marriage.

[1354] So just being intentional with each other and having those hard conversations.

[1355] But above all, when people say, oh, that Dave Ramsey thing or, oh, you can afford it.

[1356] It's not a big deal.

[1357] Just reminding ourselves, especially me, I'm probably the one that has to be put on track a little bit more, but just reminding ourselves and everyone else that, like, it's worth it in the end.

[1358] And this feeling is unmatched.

[1359] Yes.

[1360] Yes.

[1361] So good.

[1362] So great.

[1363] Oh, well, congratulations.

[1364] Thank you guys.

[1365] So, but are you going to go on a Carnival cruise to celebrate one year now that you're debt free?

[1366] Probably not.

[1367] Okay.

[1368] He says no. Got to save up some money.

[1369] I'm not sure Carnival's getting a good ad out of this.

[1370] Version here.

[1371] Oh my gosh.

[1372] That's awesome.

[1373] Way to go, y 'all.

[1374] Thank you.

[1375] So proud of you.

[1376] So proud of you.

[1377] I know your family's proud of you.

[1378] And you've set yourself up to have a very, very bright future.

[1379] You're obviously on track.

[1380] You've got a game plan.

[1381] You're laying it out, whether it's, hours or anybody else is you're on track you're doing it together that's what it is that what you said uh for sure luke intentionality that that is the whole thing that's how it's dialed in well congratulations we got a couple of years for you uh two one year subscriptions to every dollar premium keep that old budget going and or you can give away one of them to somebody else and get them started as you're talking about it and uh our way is saying thanks to coming for coming down from owensboro owensboro ohinsborough's a great town thank you it's great town and uh congratulations you guys were very very proud of you all right it's luke and arizona celebrating a one -year anniversary on their marriage by doing their debt -free scream 25 thou don't you wish you'd done this in the first year marriage 25 ,500 paid off in one year making 105 to 115 count it down let's hear a debt -free scream three two one we're debt -free yes This is how it's done, boys and girls.

[1382] I love it, I love it.

[1383] Well done.

[1384] So great.

[1385] So, so great.

[1386] So I wonder how many people have been trapped in their car on the way to getting engaged, forced to listen to one of our books.

[1387] Mine or yours or somebody else's.

[1388] Oh, man. Yours would be more pleasant.

[1389] So funny.

[1390] Oh, my gosh.

[1391] So great.

[1392] Romantic.

[1393] Luke, such a romantic guy.

[1394] Such a romantic guy.

[1395] Yeah, Luke's a regular Romeo.

[1396] Oh, my gosh.

[1397] Hey, after 14 hours of listening to Dave in the car, want to get married?

[1398] But you know what?

[1399] And I kind of, and I love almost like their attitude around it.

[1400] It was like, well, we have it.

[1401] We're going to knock it out.

[1402] We're going to say no to stuff.

[1403] And we're just going to do it.

[1404] There's just a matter of fact.

[1405] There's just this level of just doing it.

[1406] Just do it.

[1407] And, yeah.

[1408] And now.

[1409] Now, I mean, with great income, no payments, it's amazing.

[1410] It's an amazing thing.

[1411] I mean, if you're making $100 ,000 a year, you don't have a payment in the world.

[1412] It's great.

[1413] And you buy your next house.

[1414] I mean, my gosh, you've got a payment on the house, but that's it.

[1415] Golly.

[1416] And that's the first year of marriage?

[1417] Not bad.

[1418] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ring the bell.

[1419] That was very well done, very well played.

[1420] And the interesting thing is if we take, you know, what they were paying payments on that 25, If you just put that in the bank from their age now, put that in a mutual fund from their age now until 65, that's millions of dollars that that that debt would have cost them, that it's not going to cost them now, and it's not going to make them because your most powerful wealth -building tool is your income.

[1421] And you get it back when you don't have to give it to everybody else.

[1422] The borrower is slave to the lender.

[1423] The Bible's not kidding.

[1424] Yeah, and again, it's that that urgency of getting out as quickly as possible mathematically, it's on your side.

[1425] It increases the probability of success.

[1426] Yep, absolutely.

[1427] Well done, Luke in Arizona.

[1428] Yes, well played.

[1429] This is the Ramsey show.

[1430] Our scripture of the day, Ephesians 312, in him and through faith in him, we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

[1431] Abraham Lincoln said Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves And under a just God Cannot long retain it Ooh That was stated in the middle of the slavery movement Wow, middle of civil war Wow In June 10th There it is That's real So good, so good Holly is with us in I don't know read that quote Holly and Albany New York How are you Holly?

[1432] Who are you?

[1433] Better than I deserve So I've gotten myself into a big hole.

[1434] I apologize.

[1435] Right now my accounts negative $600.

[1436] I have no money.

[1437] I've, in the past 60 days, I've paid over $1 ,300 in overdraft fees.

[1438] I'm going to call my bank to cancel that overdraft.

[1439] Because because I realize that's ridiculous.

[1440] And I just don't know where to start.

[1441] I'm behind on my mortgage, and I just don't know what to do.

[1442] You by yourself?

[1443] I have a husband and we have two kids.

[1444] Are you handling all the money by yourself, or is he just watching this happen or what?

[1445] um so we're trying to talk more about it originally it was he was just giving me money to pay the bills um but he had his car broke he had to get a new car and so he's not he has not been giving me money with his paycheck here and there he will or buy the groceries um but it's pretty much been all on me. Holly, are you working?

[1446] Yes.

[1447] So you guys have separate accounts?

[1448] Yes.

[1449] So he kind of earns money, does whatever he wants, comes home.

[1450] And you're paying, yeah.

[1451] And you pay all the bills.

[1452] Yes.

[1453] Does that not feel weird to you?

[1454] It feels weird to me. It feels very weird.

[1455] Yeah.

[1456] Like wrong?

[1457] Yeah.

[1458] Okay.

[1459] And have you guys talked about that?

[1460] what does he say um well he just says that he doesn't make as much and he's trying to pay he pays so he pays for his car his insurance um and then um our kids do go to a private catholic school um and i know i could just cut that out and i wouldn't have that monthly payment but it is something that's really important to us.

[1461] So he has that payment for his daughter because her mother refuses to pay for school.

[1462] So we've taken that on.

[1463] So he has a child from a previous marriage, and then is the other child both of yours?

[1464] Or was it one from...

[1465] The other child is just mine.

[1466] Okay, from a previous marriage.

[1467] How long have you all been married?

[1468] Since November.

[1469] Okay.

[1470] All right.

[1471] Um, okay, you have several, the overdrafts are not the problem.

[1472] They're the symptom.

[1473] And so what we're hearing is there are several problems that when you solve those problems, the overdraft will go away.

[1474] Mm -hmm.

[1475] Okay.

[1476] Does that make sense?

[1477] Yes.

[1478] Problem number one is just disorganization because no one intentionally runs their checking account into the red.

[1479] Mm -hmm.

[1480] um you might have if you were like buying groceries or something like that because you didn't have the money to eat otherwise but most people it's just disorganization if you laid out a game plan your game plan would not be i'm going to intentionally create $1 ,300 and overdraft fees that would not be your game plan i don't think you did that you're too intelligent to do that on purpose does that make sense yes that's kind of what happened as a part of the chaos and the disorganization and coming up short because your portion of the response responsibility here is larger than your income you're coming up short yeah yeah okay problem number two is um you all are running your relationship in your household horribly um and that would be that the two of you need to sit down together you probably need some good marriage counseling because you need to sit down together and say all right we just got married and the preacher said and now you are one and And you're not acting like it.

[1481] You're acting like two.

[1482] You're acting like roommates that both have a kid.

[1483] Right.

[1484] And it's killing you.

[1485] It's causing you to be afraid.

[1486] It's breaking your heart.

[1487] You feel disrespected.

[1488] Am I saying things that are untrue?

[1489] No, you're spot on.

[1490] Okay.

[1491] All right.

[1492] And he's probably wounded and hurt from his last relationship.

[1493] and is still carrying some of that and then projecting that onto the new relationship, I'm guessing.

[1494] That'd be kind of normal to do that, by the way.

[1495] It wouldn't mean he's a bad guy.

[1496] It just means it's like, well, last time I got burned when she was acting like this, I'm not doing that again, right?

[1497] I'll just keep everything over here and I'll take my part and you take your part and we'll see how it works out.

[1498] That's generally, that's the voice of hurt.

[1499] That's the voice of a wound.

[1500] Okay?

[1501] So I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he is really mistreating his current wife.

[1502] So if I were your older brother, I would tell you to put your to sit down tonight and turn off the TV and put the kids to bed and say, hey, dude, this is not working.

[1503] Turn the lights on.

[1504] As John Deloney says, turn the lights on in the room.

[1505] Because we're all kind of walking around in a fog acting like this might work out.

[1506] it ain't going to work out.

[1507] Turn the lights on and go, this is not working.

[1508] We either made a huge mistake or we got some work to do to get on the same page because I'm not going to live where you treat me like your servant.

[1509] Does that sound right?

[1510] Yes.

[1511] Holly, from just a tactical sense, I'm curious, if you combined both of your incomes and you guys really worked out of one account, you paid household bills together out of that account, would you be behind on the mortgage right now?

[1512] I don't think so.

[1513] Yeah, I don't either.

[1514] Because I feel like I would have a better handle on what each of us are kind of.

[1515] I want both of you to have a full handle on it.

[1516] And so much, Holly, of money and the way we use money, the way we view money, the way our dreams are around money and our fears, all of that is so wrapped up into who we are.

[1517] And when you keep that part of you from your spouse, which is what he's doing, there is such a lack of transparency that's going on.

[1518] And, you know, on a really extreme terrible side, you know, we see people with addiction that they hide stuff from their spouse, another light.

[1519] I mean, like stuff just happens when money is hidden in the dark on an extreme side.

[1520] And on the other side, I pray that it is what kind of Dave said earlier.

[1521] or he's just like, I just don't want to get burned and I've been through a divorce, so this and this, you know.

[1522] Well, if you've been married eight years, I might be suspecting him of a lot more.

[1523] You've been married eight months.

[1524] Yeah, yeah.

[1525] So I'm trying to give him the benefit of my doubt.

[1526] Yeah, that's fair.

[1527] That's fair.

[1528] But the lack of transparency, too, is one of the reasons we talk about the level of unity.

[1529] It's horrible.

[1530] Because it's just everything is, everything's there and you're working together.

[1531] And you're a team and you're not being held like this.

[1532] I mean, Holly, when you said, I'm behind.

[1533] You're not behind.

[1534] You're not behind.

[1535] We are behind.

[1536] that amount of weight that is on you.

[1537] We are about to lose our house.

[1538] Yes.

[1539] Because you are standing over there in the dark handing out money like I'm your child giving me an allowance.

[1540] That ends tonight, Bubba.

[1541] Okay.

[1542] That's how the conversation goes in Tennessee.

[1543] You know, so you, you can, in Albany, New York, you might be nicer than that.

[1544] But we get, we get all hillbilly about it around here.

[1545] I'm just saying.

[1546] Oh, Holly, we're cheering for you.

[1547] girl yeah go get go get go get some marital help it's worth pushing into this yeah you can you can win this battle it's i've seen people overcome it a many a time but he needs he does not understand how much harm he's doing to you and to the marriage and you get really lose his house because he's being stupid y 'all got to get on the same page here go get some help kiddo that puts this hour of the ramsie show in the books we'll be back with you before you know it in the meantime remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ Jesus.

[1548] Hey folks, Dave Ramsey here.

[1549] You know, budgeting doesn't have to be boring.

[1550] You just need a budgeting app that's made with you in mind.

[1551] And that's Every Dollar.

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[1555] That's Ramsey Solutions .com slash eerie.

[1556] every dollar.