Craig T. Nelson

[0] Welcome to Armchair Expert.

[1] I am Emmy nominated Monica Padman.

[2] I'm joined by Emmy nominated soon, Dak Sheppard.

[3] No, no, no, no. I didn't even apply.

[4] Yeah, you will be.

[5] Listen to me. You listen up.

[6] My dad is here today.

[7] And I don't want people to...

[8] From the dead.

[9] Well, that's right.

[10] I don't want people to think he has risen from the dead.

[11] He didn't ascend.

[12] Favorite TV dad of all time.

[13] Craig T. Nelson.

[14] Yeah.

[15] I've never felt in real life like I had a 12.

[16] when separated by 25 years like I have felt with Craig Tee.

[17] From the second I met him, I'm like, I think we're the same person traveling in two different times.

[18] Oh my God.

[19] Just like my grandpa and the new dog.

[20] And the dog that you notice.

[21] Monica has discovered a branch of reincarnation that is new and exciting and will be incorporated into our cult papers.

[22] Yeah.

[23] Explain what happened, Monica.

[24] Oh, well, Kristen brought a new dog to the house, new foster.

[25] One -eyed dog.

[26] One -eyed dog named Taffy, very sweet, very sweet.

[27] very cute dog.

[28] Deaf blind.

[29] Yeah, lots of ailments.

[30] But this dog really likes to hang out by my feet.

[31] Sure.

[32] And I will be honest, after a few minutes, I was ready for that to be done.

[33] Uh -huh, sure.

[34] But then I just stopped and I looked at her face.

[35] Into her eye.

[36] Into her eye.

[37] Deep into her eye.

[38] And I thought, huh.

[39] Hmm.

[40] Are you my grandpa?

[41] You really had that thought, didn't you?

[42] Yeah, it was a real thought I had.

[43] Like some of my grandpa's essence ended up in Taffy.

[44] And he's still alive.

[45] That, see, that's why it's a whole new version of reincarnation.

[46] Yeah, it's a new thing.

[47] I call her Tiffany, Typhicle, or Triscuit.

[48] Right.

[49] The sky's the limit.

[50] You can call her anything you want because she's deaf as fuck.

[51] And she cannot hear a thing she can't see.

[52] She bumps into walls, doors, feet.

[53] And yet she seems joyful and happy.

[54] Yeah.

[55] But we're not here to talk about Triscuit.

[56] We're here to talk about Triscuit.

[57] about my dad, not the one that rose from the dead.

[58] Craig T. Nelson, my father in Parenthood.

[59] You may have come to know him in Poultergeist.

[60] He was coach.

[61] What a career.

[62] The Incredibles.

[63] My girls love him now.

[64] He's Mr. Incredible.

[65] What could be cooler?

[66] I love this man so much.

[67] We kissed on the lips when we saw each other.

[68] Remember that?

[69] I do.

[70] Yeah.

[71] I've forgotten.

[72] I put it away.

[73] I put that away in my face in my head.

[74] To think about when you were sad one day.

[75] Sure.

[76] Yeah.

[77] All right.

[78] Well, listen, guys.

[79] Now, many of was sold out.

[80] That thing sold out.

[81] It's no longer on the market.

[82] On the market.

[83] But there are some seats left for Cleveland, for Detroit, and for Chicago.

[84] So please go to our website, follow the link if you want to come party with us.

[85] In June, we'd love to see you.

[86] Without further ado, my alive father.

[87] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[88] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[89] Or you can Listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[90] Dad, we were just discussing that you're just vaguely aware of podcasts, right?

[91] Yeah, I don't know what they are.

[92] Right.

[93] You've never listened to one, have you?

[94] Uh -uh.

[95] There's a lot you'd like.

[96] So they're like free -form radio.

[97] Yeah.

[98] Ours, you know, it's long form so you can sign.

[99] You don't have.

[100] Don't feel nervous.

[101] Monica, how exciting is it?

[102] Monica's a huge parenthood fan.

[103] Isn't it so sweet that he's just like he is?

[104] Yeah, I love it.

[105] It's the best.

[106] I was a little different.

[107] Yeah, sure.

[108] You dress differently.

[109] You golfed less.

[110] Yeah, right.

[111] You didn't have a race career.

[112] I had more fun.

[113] Well, I don't know if you remember this, but you came to work one day and you go, oh, I saw this movie, hit and run.

[114] Oh, Dax.

[115] what a great movie remember you came home and you really you were you were raving about it have you seen yeah many times i loved it and then i said to you well do you remember dad i offered you the role of my dad in it and you said you did did you really yes 100 and you were like which i totally understood you're like you know i'm i'm going to be in hawai it's our break i'm going to be with the family i'm not going to be around i was like no problem and uh then we had to to go get bow bridges lovely man glad i met him but certainly i wrote that role for you great t nelson my paternoster my hero and tom arnold he was spectacular right so good yeah so funny that movie was good christin was great yeah you guys i told you i said you know when you get her cracking up it's just to me it's just special it's so fun you know now that we have these two kids I'm really happy that there's a little time capsule of us when we were like five years into dating.

[116] And she doesn't laugh that much anymore.

[117] No, no, no. Oh, my God, no. She hasn't laughed since 16, 2016, for me at least.

[118] Other people still have her number.

[119] Has she grown taller?

[120] She has.

[121] She's 511 now.

[122] And she's losing quite a few roles.

[123] But you have one of the more bizarre stories.

[124] And it slowly got a revealed to me over the course of six years.

[125] years on parenthood.

[126] Right.

[127] First and foremost.

[128] Well, the first time I met you, I just loved you.

[129] I was just about to say the same thing.

[130] I didn't know who you were at all.

[131] Sure.

[132] I didn't know anybody.

[133] What show were we doing?

[134] Yeah.

[135] But when I met you, I loved you right away.

[136] And, you know, when we read the script, we had that cast reading.

[137] I got to tell you, just as a side note, I had this trainer over at the house Saturday.

[138] Okay.

[139] And we were working on glutes, of course, yeah.

[140] and I really get something wrong.

[141] I've got something that goes up into my sphincter.

[142] Okay.

[143] It hurts so bad.

[144] And when I try to cross my legs, like I know what I'm doing, it hurts and there's a pain and I didn't cry out just now.

[145] But inside, I think I'm bleeding.

[146] Now, are you looking for that pop?

[147] Like sometimes when my low back in buttocks is, real tight and I cross those legs.

[148] I'm kind of waiting for a pop and then some relief.

[149] Oh, it would be so nice.

[150] What were you doing squat, lunges?

[151] Oh, my trainer, Adam, he's such a good kid and he thinks I can do things.

[152] Right, right.

[153] And he gives me things to do.

[154] And, of course, I'm not going to say no. Right.

[155] Because I want to prove that I'm okay.

[156] And then he's got these things we do.

[157] I don't even know what they're called.

[158] They're just so fucking paint, excuse me. No, you're allowed to say what you want.

[159] They just hurt.

[160] Uh -huh.

[161] And I came away from.

[162] from there, and I knew I'd done something.

[163] I just didn't feel right when I was going to the bathroom, and I thought, how could it be going up into my sphincter?

[164] Right.

[165] That's a deep workout.

[166] Yeah.

[167] So, can I just ask really quick, so I have a visual.

[168] What is your gear when you work out?

[169] Do you have, like, a little, do you have special outfit you put on or just stay in blue jeans?

[170] It depends on how I'm feeling and how cold it is, because, you know, you've got to.

[171] dress up when you get older yeah and uh if i want to look thinner i have a thinner outfit if i don't really care and because the dog comes in with me and he looks at me when i'm trying and he kind of gives me the heads up or the dog does the heads up to go ahead keep going or i think your heart rates reach terminal velocity so no i don't have a i don't have a really i I, Lulu Lemon.

[172] Oh, that was a long walk to find out it was Lulu Lemon.

[173] Oh, that really helps me with my visual.

[174] And does Dory come out and like just pop her head in?

[175] And when she does, do you get a little insecure or does it do you feel macho?

[176] No, she, you know, well, she's the one that pressures me to do it because I'm a slacker.

[177] And I figure I've worked out if I've walked from my chair to the kitchen.

[178] And that's a good work out there.

[179] I never used to feel that way because when we were racing, I trained all the time.

[180] Right.

[181] It's harder now to get into that rhythm of doing it.

[182] It's just why.

[183] And I know I need to do it because I've got a lot of things, I'm sure, going on that I don't know about.

[184] I don't want to get tested for them.

[185] I don't want to have to go because what happens is you get older.

[186] All you're doing is driving to see doctors.

[187] That's what happens.

[188] And for tests.

[189] Right.

[190] And then they tell you stuff.

[191] And it's like, okay, listen, I'm 75.

[192] Do I care?

[193] Right.

[194] And then it's like quality of life.

[195] Okay, well, what quality of life can I have with this or that or this or that?

[196] And then you see stuff on Netflix like root cause.

[197] And you realize, in my experience, because I did so many bad things when I was a child.

[198] Which we're going to talk about expensively.

[199] That destroyed my calcium in my teeth.

[200] Oh.

[201] And I had a lot of root canals.

[202] And they're saying in this documentary, root cause, that root canals are basically dead tissue that you're carrying around that carry bacteria.

[203] And it can cause...

[204] Alzheimer's I've heard, right?

[205] Alzheimer's, I'm telling you, Dax, it's like the stuff that they're onto.

[206] Yeah, it can, it breaks the blood -brain barrier and can basically infect your brain.

[207] with.

[208] And you've got bacteria in your system that's alive and well, well, I must have eight or nine.

[209] Fruit canals.

[210] And anyway, how many pills are you taking in the morning?

[211] Only, I only take supplements.

[212] Oh, no, no, you're not on a statin or anything, like for cholesterol?

[213] Yeah.

[214] Oh, that's a vitamin.

[215] But I don't take them.

[216] Oh, you don't take them.

[217] Okay.

[218] I have two.

[219] Okay.

[220] I have one for cholesterol and then one for blockage.

[221] Okay.

[222] And I don't like it because I've been reading about that too.

[223] Anything like that in my system, I want to be able to monitor my heart attack on my own.

[224] Okay.

[225] I don't need any kind of additional information going on.

[226] Extraneous variables.

[227] And I'm not sure about statins.

[228] When I'm reading about them and the cause and effect hasn't really gone, you know, bo, boom.

[229] Yeah.

[230] It isn't proven.

[231] So, oh, should I stop taking mine?

[232] You're not taking any.

[233] Yeah, I take a statin.

[234] You do?

[235] You might want to look it up because there's a guy that's saying, and he's all about inflammation.

[236] Right.

[237] In the body, and that inflammation is a major cause for illness.

[238] Yeah.

[239] Anywhere in the body.

[240] Key is saying statins are inflammatory.

[241] You know what's so crazy to hear that is the tipping point for me, I had been prescribed it because I just genetically have high cholesterol.

[242] Even when I've been like vegan, I have high cholesterol.

[243] And what I heard a doctor say was that it has an overall anti -inflammatory quality and that everyone could benefit from being on it because it reduces inflammation.

[244] And now this turkey is saying the opposite.

[245] So who are we to believe?

[246] That's the problem.

[247] I know.

[248] You know, I mean, really, if you're a very physical person like I was, it seems like ridiculous that all of a sudden you're susceptible to stuff.

[249] Yeah.

[250] Well, the thing is, too, sometimes you just got to ask yourself, Oh, now they can just find everything, which isn't necessarily good.

[251] Surely, like, 40 years ago, you just never found that stuff.

[252] Maybe it was slow moving.

[253] Maybe it was slow moving.

[254] Maybe discovering it just makes you worry about it, which isn't helpful.

[255] It's hard to know, really, right?

[256] What you want to know you have and what you'd rather just not know about.

[257] Yeah, I'm pretty anti -doctor, have been.

[258] Yeah, that's why women save us, right?

[259] Because your wife makes you go.

[260] Absolutely.

[261] The thing that is, for me, alarming in a way, is that it's gone by so damn, and everybody says this.

[262] It just went by.

[263] Yeah.

[264] Well, I remember very early into Parenthood, you told Peter Krause, and he repeats this to me all the time, you said, buddy boy, this is when it just takes off like a rocket.

[265] From your current age right now, to my age, is just a freight train.

[266] it's just flying down the tracks and he took that to heart and he's brought it up to me several times it blows my mind like oh i'm now peter's age when he was my older brother on parenthood and i remember thinking he was well into his life when we met right and then i always think about what you said right yeah but then i think well maybe it's better to never even think about it but you have the you have your girls right now measure that by and you can take that quality time and blah blah blah and And it's funny because you'll look at that, and I did and do, and think, you know, now it's grandkids and great grandkids for me. Right.

[267] And it's, what happened?

[268] Yeah.

[269] When did it get out of control?

[270] When did you lose your grip on this thing?

[271] Of course.

[272] And then everybody else that's, you know, around my age is going, where is it going?

[273] Where's it going?

[274] What's happening?

[275] Well, my theory on it is when you're two years old, the year.

[276] between one and two years old amounts for half of your life.

[277] So that year is very significant because it's half of your entire life.

[278] And then when you're 10, a year goes by and it's one -tenth of your whole life, that's a significant percentage.

[279] But when you're 75, a year is 175th of your life.

[280] So it just feels fractionally way smaller.

[281] Totally.

[282] I feel like it's kind of like what makes it feel fast is that it's in relation to your age.

[283] Yeah.

[284] Well, waiting for Christmas.

[285] when you're a kid is like forever that's 15 years you're waiting or summer summer was like two years long oh my god for me currently the at this pace of years going it's fascinating for me because at 75 you start reading the obituaries more and you're seeing all these actors and the people that i identified with as icons that are passing and you go well let's see that guy was 84 i get him something like if I take care of us.

[286] Yeah.

[287] What am I in that?

[288] Blah, blah, blah.

[289] And then it's like the mortality issues come in.

[290] And it's very incredibly fascinating.

[291] But don't you and I know from our secret society that the real issue is just thinking about ourselves, thinking about our mortality, think about how much time is left, thinking about blah, blah, blah, blah.

[292] Craig needs this.

[293] Craig wants more years.

[294] The thing that's helping me currently is that I'm so focused on the little girls that I'm not hyper aware of how much time.

[295] blowing by for me. I'm kind of like focused on them, which is a big relief.

[296] But when they leave the house, I'll be stuck with myself and concentrating once again on my own voyage.

[297] Yeah, and lonely.

[298] Yeah.

[299] Probably.

[300] Yeah.

[301] But no one can fill that void except, you know, spiritually, I think.

[302] Yeah.

[303] A play can't.

[304] Maybe at times music.

[305] Yeah.

[306] For temporary, right, periods, it can distract you enough.

[307] But being of service to people is the great distractor that helps me feel good.

[308] I've got, yeah, there's got some guys I sponsor that are just incredibly diverse and funny.

[309] And isn't it a nice vacation from your mind when you're helping those guys?

[310] Yeah, because it means that I have to put into practice what I'm telling them to do.

[311] Right, yeah.

[312] How to get through it.

[313] Oh, I've had many a moments where I was like advising some newly sober dude and I'm like, you're such a fucking hypocrite.

[314] You're not doing half of the things you're telling him to do.

[315] That's who we are.

[316] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[317] We are such hypocrites.

[318] Yeah.

[319] And it is a motive anyway.

[320] It's action.

[321] Right.

[322] Right.

[323] Yeah.

[324] I mean, that's the beauty of it.

[325] I really don't feel like doing it, but I'll do it anyway because I know I have to.

[326] Yes.

[327] And I don't have to feel bad about not wanting to do it.

[328] Right.

[329] So we're going to walk through your life, which is a really fun and exciting voyage.

[330] You were born in Spokane, Washington.

[331] Yeah.

[332] Mom was a dancer.

[333] And dad was a dancer.

[334] businessman of some variety?

[335] He was a, he did a lot of things.

[336] He was too young for the First World War and too old for the second.

[337] And so he worked in the Roosevelt administration and the CCA and Civilian Conservation Corps also.

[338] And he did a lot of stuff that I really don't know about.

[339] I wish I had had the time to sit down with him and talk because now it would have been great.

[340] Yeah.

[341] Did he die young?

[342] Yeah, he was 65.

[343] And he had emphysema.

[344] I think he was a great.

[345] guy i didn't know him that well because of you or because of him or both well he was sick and he was in the back bedroom on oxygen so growing up i was ashamed of him sure i'm embarrassed by him yeah and kind of scared in a way because i didn't know what was going on they don't tell you anything right in spokane it was very secret everything who you were was a secret basically I wouldn't say it was repressed.

[346] It was just Norwegian.

[347] Okay.

[348] That's the way it was.

[349] Right.

[350] You didn't talk about the neighbors or you gossiped about them, but whatever.

[351] My mom was an extrovert and very gregarious.

[352] My dad also had been a drummer and played with Bing Crosby, so they were all friends.

[353] And they would have these sing -alongs at the house where they'd all get loaded and they'd all get loaded and they sing around and harmonize.

[354] And it was just wonderful because I can remember as a kid being at the top of the stage.

[355] and hearing them singing, and then the smell of the booze and, of course, the cigarette.

[356] I had an older sister.

[357] She died when she was 48.

[358] I look at that period with fondness and a sadness.

[359] Yeah.

[360] Because he was my dad, big Norwegian, funny, loved comedy.

[361] So anyway, that was kind of the childhood.

[362] Yeah, and you played sports growing up?

[363] Totally.

[364] I was into sports.

[365] Were you just getting, like, recruited by all the coaches because you were big?

[366] No, I was fast.

[367] and i love sports i was coordinated it was the manifestation as a child of rage there's a lot of rage coming out i remember getting a lot of trouble for my temper right and it would seem to snap anything humiliating to this day right i still have a reaction to that if you're embarrassed yeah or i don't even want to say more made fun of humiliate it and yet i do it all the time to other people yeah me too isn't it the worst And I'll find myself saying something caustic.

[368] Uh -huh.

[369] And didn't really mean to go there, but when I hear it, what?

[370] You know, and the people are laughing, but they're hurt.

[371] Yeah.

[372] It's almost like if you're a comedian, you're a utilitarian by design.

[373] You're going to make nine people happy at the expense of one person or 100 people happy at the expense of 10.

[374] And I watch comedy kind of shift, too, to becoming more of that, making fun of groups.

[375] more people and then it became caustic yeah in the beginning i mean richie prior could do it and do it in a way that i don't know um was off color but funny yeah again though he's a guy who from day one owned his flaws like no other comedian had so there's there's an endearing quality to him because he's going i'm real fucked up too so i'm gonna make fun of me make fun of you yeah In front of everyone, yeah.

[376] So, anyway, that's, so growing up there was, it's not a place I enjoy going back to the way, because it's so, it's such a dichotomy.

[377] I mean, it was so wonderful in many ways and so ugly in others.

[378] Well, you must have been popular because you're outgoing and funny and you're an athlete.

[379] So I imagine you were, you were popular and then probably felt not popular.

[380] Well, that's always going to be the case, isn't it?

[381] Yeah.

[382] It's never going to be enough.

[383] And, you know, Dax, I just didn't have any equipment.

[384] to understand anything.

[385] I mean, I'm sure people tried to sit me down and talk to me about what was happening to my dad because you're watching this guy die.

[386] Right.

[387] And I can remember some of my friends in high school saying, man, I really love talking to your dad, you know, because he's so smart.

[388] Yeah.

[389] And he's so well read, and I'm thinking, really?

[390] Yeah.

[391] So I had this feeling of departure and also a feeling of guilt about not being able to accept him.

[392] because i didn't understand what was going on yeah this is so fucking common so monica whose parents her father from india her mother's second generation as well embarrassed by her really lovely parents who are supportive me embarrassed by my dad at all times because he drank sometimes aggressive with weight staff uh you know and and then mixed with all this shame that i'm not being outwardly loving to him and accepting and all those things so it's like you're fucked on both sides basically you're embarrassed and you feel shame for all that yeah and i remember you and i talking about it and i think that you reconciled with your father well as he was dying we really kind of yeah got through it all i don't know that without the program my dad and i ever come back together correct you know even on on his side on your side that reattachment would have tried to have happened yes you would have tried to make that happen right but had he still been drinking i'm sure it would have never, I would have never been able to find any forgiveness or anything.

[393] I was so brutally judgmental of him.

[394] I mean, just more than any human being.

[395] I guess I looked at him and all the things I knew were pretty flawed about me. I gave him credit for giving me. All the things I was fighting, wrestling, my ego, my arrogance, all these things.

[396] I had attributed to him.

[397] My mom was an angel and he was the source of all these things I was fighting.

[398] And then of course, now years later, I'm like, also everything good about me is him, you know, being outgoing and all these things.

[399] That's him to a T. Yeah, it's a hard one.

[400] And it kept me from really when I got into the program of being able to, I think, understand and accept a higher power.

[401] Because any kind of relationship like that, I was always, and still am, I think to a large degree, I think I just had a hard time accepting any kind of control in my life.

[402] it didn't have any.

[403] Yes, right.

[404] I'd run myself into the ground and self -will, so that didn't work.

[405] So any kind of relationship with a higher power was for me kind of really very difficult, and at the same time, I blame my higher power for taking my mom and my dad and my sister.

[406] Right.

[407] And I didn't understand any of that.

[408] Why did they have to go so young?

[409] And here I am abusing myself to the point of absolute debauchery and worse.

[410] Yeah.

[411] And thinking I'm having a great time doing it.

[412] Yeah.

[413] And at times, I'm sure, having a pretty darn good time.

[414] It was a pretty good time.

[415] You know, gosh, the joy of it is, I think, is that I saw in my dad this wonder for comedy, like on the Ed Sullivan show.

[416] He loved comedians, and he loved the most eccentric ones.

[417] And I saw his acceptance and laughter and this wonder in him.

[418] And he was also a jazz musician.

[419] So he did, he loved jazz music.

[420] And And we'd play records on Sunday morning, and he'd get me to beat pots and pans, and we'd have pancakes, and he'd go over to the big trolla, and he'd lift up the arm, and he'd say, did you hear that solo?

[421] Did you hear that solo?

[422] Listen to that solo.

[423] I'm going, okay.

[424] So he put it back down.

[425] He said, listen.

[426] And I'd hear the beating rhythm of the trumpet guy in the back or the drummer or whoever it was.

[427] Yeah.

[428] And he'd say, now listen to him.

[429] He'd be in the background.

[430] It wasn't in the foreground.

[431] And I thought, wow.

[432] So this is all like kind of osmosis, and I'm bringing it in, and I'm thinking, okay, I'm coordinated, and I've got timing, and those were the things that as I got into acting, because I couldn't do anything else, I was flunking out of everything.

[433] And really, I think I wanted to be that anyway, because that would make my dad proud.

[434] Sure.

[435] And those were the things that were surfacing me, was timing and being coordinated, knowing when to come in.

[436] Right.

[437] And then being in the background, because I love being back there and then having my own little solo back to, as you know.

[438] Yeah, sure.

[439] And you do that really well.

[440] Well, for me, parenthood was the best thing that could ever happen to me because I was not the star of that show.

[441] And if anything, my storyline was probably fourth most time -consuming.

[442] And all I wanted was to be the star of everything I was in.

[443] And I found more joy in that experience than I had in any other experience.

[444] So it kind of luckily, still relatively early on, taught me the joy of like, oh, I don't need the whole thing.

[445] And you were always my example of that.

[446] I would always tell myself, man, fucking Craig Teal have one scene, two scenes.

[447] And when I think back on the episode, all I think of is his scene.

[448] You telling May, Whitman, in that junkyard, I don't give you permission to mess with my dreams.

[449] Like, I think of that whole season, that's my number one scene I think of.

[450] And I just, I would watch you and I'm like, oh, you can do so much with so little.

[451] Stop thinking about what real estate you're claiming or anything.

[452] Just be special when it's time to be special.

[453] And you'll get plenty of praise.

[454] And that was the case.

[455] And what a great lesson to be forced to learn.

[456] Well, yeah.

[457] I mean, that show for me was a turning point, really, because I got a chance to meet you, Peter, everybody.

[458] everybody on that show was so incredibly gifted and they all had something to bring and then for all those people who are basically looking for stardom in some way to mesh and unite and become a team and let it flow was fairly remarkable I don't think and I've said this a lot I don't think I've ever seen it happen yeah the miracle of it is all these people who in the past had been the leads of their own shows basically right and we all came in and everyone took a back seat and at different times.

[459] And no one was grouchy about it.

[460] Well, I was.

[461] I mean, I grouched out.

[462] I remember.

[463] And I realized what it was.

[464] It was like Max driving me crazy.

[465] Yeah.

[466] Because this kid playing, this autistic kid, was pissing me off.

[467] Mm -hmm.

[468] Because he was doing it so well.

[469] Yep.

[470] And he was irritating.

[471] Uh -huh.

[472] Yeah.

[473] And we're in the scene in the hospital, and I'm thinking, what am I doing here today?

[474] I'm in the background.

[475] I'm just sitting.

[476] there like a participant, I think I had one line, which was here, I have a donut, and he says, I don't want to, you know, he yells at me this kid.

[477] And I get, for some reason, it was a bad day and blah, blah, blah, blah.

[478] Anyway, the point is I went off.

[479] Yeah, yeah, I remember this clearly.

[480] And I got so pissed off.

[481] And I realized from long ago, the more pissed off I get, the more meaningful it is, the more confrontation I'm having with myself and with the part, it means that it's meaningful.

[482] There's something going on.

[483] That's actually triggering real life, Craig T fears, real life.

[484] Totally.

[485] Yeah.

[486] So what the hell is going on?

[487] And I need to get pissed off to hide that.

[488] Give me a moment.

[489] I need to figure out what's going in my life moment.

[490] Right, right.

[491] Yeah.

[492] I'm walking around.

[493] I'm going to quit.

[494] You got to get me. You and I had an amazing exchange.

[495] I doubt you remember, but you had...

[496] I totally remember it.

[497] Oh, you do?

[498] I totally remember it because you were so wrong.

[499] Anyway.

[500] I want to hear that.

[501] Oh, he was fun.

[502] Anyway, the point is, comedy and drama, the whole thing is confrontational.

[503] And when it gets confrontational is when it gets real.

[504] When it gets real is where the program and the experience come in.

[505] And that day on the set, and I realize that part of this whole thing is, going to be sitting there and not doing anything because that's what people do right so get used to it and quit your little pity thing happening because you don't even know why you're pissed off right figure that out yet right and what's going on so just sit there and i did stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare we've all been there turning to the internet to self -diagnose are inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[506] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[507] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[508] Hey, listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[509] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[510] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[511] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[512] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[513] What's up, guys?

[514] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[515] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and bright.

[516] Okay.

[517] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[518] And I don't mean just friends.

[519] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[520] The list goes on.

[521] So follow, watch and listen to Baby.

[522] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[523] I, of course, was relishing it because it's something I would totally do.

[524] So I...

[525] But we had one where he walks in and we had this guest director and she's wonderful.

[526] Actually, she turned out to be really good.

[527] But she didn't explain herself.

[528] very well and so there was a couple of people i walked on to the set somebody is confronting her the director with something and i even forget what it was so i go over and i'm thinking how do i go to this person the cast member and say this is let's just do this because it's like you know dachs comes in i don't understand what's going on why are you giving her and she's pointing to me and i'm like mr innocent i'm i'm sitting there there.

[529] And I'm going, why are you giving her such a hard time?

[530] I mean, she's, you know, she's just trying to direct a scene.

[531] My God, what's wrong?

[532] And I'm, I come up with the wittiest thing I could have said was, you know something?

[533] You really hurt my feelings.

[534] And he says, hurt your feelings.

[535] And it was so true.

[536] It was like, anyway, that's the one I remember.

[537] But it was really fun to be around you because you and I have very similar triggers.

[538] So I would always like, if I was getting frustrated with a guest director because I often felt like, oh, this person hasn't really watched the show.

[539] They don't actually know what I do.

[540] They're telling me to do something that I don't do, you know, whatever.

[541] It doesn't matter.

[542] I would feel powerless.

[543] And then I'm a worse side of me comes out.

[544] But sometimes the way I would distract myself was I would like focus in on Craig.

[545] I'm like, oh, this person's rubbing me the wrong way.

[546] They've got to be driving Craig nuts.

[547] And I kind of just distract myself by watching you.

[548] Okay, so back to Spokane.

[549] So you eventually, you go to college you go to several colleges yeah flunked out of central i went to central washington flunked out of there i went to yacama valley got married flunked out of there and or would have flunked out of there and then my dad died i got married three days after my dad died because this date was set and and blah blah blah moved to phoenix because my wife father was a helicopter pilot and he was a crop pester.

[550] Oh, no kidding.

[551] So I became a loader for him, uh, loading the helicopters and then with pesticides.

[552] With pesticides.

[553] Methylparathion to be, oh, specific, which is now would have been close to age and orange.

[554] Wow.

[555] Yeah, that's a scary.

[556] So I got out of there.

[557] It really was.

[558] And I didn't, of course, you don't know it when you're doing it.

[559] Right.

[560] My father -in -law's family had a relative who's Supreme Court Justice of the state of Arizona.

[561] So I applied to go to the University of Arizona through her, and she had some poll, and I got in.

[562] And that's where I found drama.

[563] Mm -hmm.

[564] Really quick, the Planner's peanut guy, was that before all this?

[565] Yeah, I was in high school, yeah.

[566] Okay, so please tell Monica what job you have.

[567] I was a box boy at Stager's IGA up in Spokane, which is really well known.

[568] But anyway, that's where my mom shopped and all the neighbors.

[569] and I walked in and I used to steal a lot of beer out of there through the basement window.

[570] It was terrible.

[571] Anyway, so there was a guy there.

[572] He'd been a Green Bay Packer.

[573] I knew that.

[574] He worked for Planner's peanuts and he said, we're coming out with this new line of dry roasted peanuts and nobody had ever heard of dry roasted peanuts.

[575] And he said...

[576] They were just wet roasting them prior to that?

[577] I don't know.

[578] You're wet roast.

[579] And they had a little sample.

[580] And he said, Now, I've got a costume that you would fit and you could be the planters peanut.

[581] So they had this like six and a half foot fiberglass shell that weighed a ton with a monocle.

[582] And I look like Planet's Peanut with a, you know, a top hat.

[583] And then I wore a little suit.

[584] And the monocle hole had a screen so you could see.

[585] And you wore black pants and then you had your spats and you had your little cane.

[586] you go down and you'd say would you like you didn't you weren't supposed to talk oh but I said you know violating the script would you like some peanuts I'd tell you I was an improv masterman you had a whole character that accompanied the planters peanut guy and I'd be there and and I would go around and I was supposed to like take all the little kids that were there with their moms and they were grocery shopping and they would follow me around I had planner peanut and anchorses and then we'd wave them and be, and so little kids, I mean, you know, they'd come up and they'd grab my cane out of my hand and they'd try to poke me through the monocle and I had a screen on it.

[587] So it was almost like from inside of your ha ha ha.

[588] And sure enough, this one little kid kicks me in the shins and I mean it hurt.

[589] And it's like they're mean so a guy says he said he found me in the back and I had the shell off I'm sitting there I'm going I'm out of here and he said hey listen man I can't get anybody else that fits in it you got to go out there and I said I don't these kids he says look at just take them outside you know wave at the traffic you don't have to be in my age I'm saying yeah well that's a great idea so we go out and I've got like 10 kids and then we all got handkerches and you know wave at the traffic and sure enough the cars are coming and a little kid shoves me in the back and I go across the road no yeah and I got the shell on and once you're leaning you can't get up right again and I'm like streaking across the road and you know screech people going and I'm saying I am so out of here I am yelling from this peanut thing and the kids are laughing and it was So that was my introduction to show business.

[590] I hated it from the beginning.

[591] And you leave Tucson and you end up in L .A. And this is what?

[592] 65.

[593] 66.

[594] Now I read this in, now I know your story, but I read this detail.

[595] Did you meet Barry Levinson at the Groundlings?

[596] No, I met him at the Oxford Theater.

[597] Okay.

[598] That didn't sound right to me when I read that.

[599] do groundlings.

[600] I didn't.

[601] Right.

[602] But I knew.

[603] They've claimed you, which is nice.

[604] I know, which is weird.

[605] Yeah.

[606] Anyway, yeah, Barry, he had his Chevy Malibu with Aramis Cologne.

[607] He was living in the car.

[608] He come from Baltimore.

[609] And it was the Eddie Canter Theater Foundation.

[610] They had scholarship.

[611] So I applied, got the scholarship, and went there.

[612] They had acting classes.

[613] So I did that.

[614] And got into some plays.

[615] And Barry was there on a writing kind of scholarship thing.

[616] and he was just trying to get started and doing stuff.

[617] He didn't know what he wanted to do really.

[618] And we were kind of friendly.

[619] And he says, you know, he came up to me, he says, you're funny.

[620] You want to try this comedy routine.

[621] I'm thinking, what?

[622] Yeah, we'll do, let's just work on some stuff.

[623] So we did.

[624] Yeah.

[625] We started working on.

[626] We got a set, a half hour.

[627] And I found out that I really, really liked it.

[628] And he was, like, extraordinarily brilliant and wonderful and funny.

[629] And he was really good performer.

[630] And so that's, we put together some material, and I think we had like an hour and a half and started auditioning.

[631] We got the Ice House, and he would go out because he wasn't working.

[632] I was working at the First National Bank of Boston as a credit analyst, and he would go out and try to get us jobs as writers.

[633] Right.

[634] I'm nervous for anyone's credit you analyzed, but that's neither here nor there.

[635] Exactly.

[636] The only course that I ever got named.

[637] was a county in high school.

[638] Apparently was just brilliant.

[639] I'll get some born to account.

[640] I had a feel for figures in many ways.

[641] Later on, it really manifested itself.

[642] Barry got us a job in NBC, which was a radio team, and they had 90 minutes live show.

[643] We got a hard to do this show.

[644] And it was 90 minutes live on NBC and it was local.

[645] And it was like, that was unbelievable.

[646] You were set, right?

[647] In your mind?

[648] 90 bucks a week.

[649] It's awesome.

[650] I quit the bank.

[651] Uh -huh.

[652] They collapsed, obviously.

[653] I don't see no bank of Boston out here anymore.

[654] And then I went to, we got hired to do Tim Conway.

[655] Right.

[656] So that's now, Tim Conn had a network show.

[657] He had a 13 -week show.

[658] And you wrote on that, right?

[659] And wrote and performed.

[660] And we had another guy.

[661] It was like variety?

[662] Variety.

[663] Variety.

[664] And that was a network.

[665] So that was a lot of money.

[666] And then we had the old Red Skelton offices at CBS Television City.

[667] And it was like the most famous writers in the world.

[668] And I got to be with these guys who were so quick and funny and we were like the new guys on the block.

[669] Did you feel like you belong there?

[670] No. Did you feel fraudulent?

[671] Totally out of place.

[672] You probably partied more than those guys too, right?

[673] Not at that time.

[674] The guy that I hired to be my manager, Neil, Anderson, and he was, without a doubt, the biggest criminal in Los Angeles.

[675] He became my manager, and he was extraordinary.

[676] Uh -huh.

[677] I mean, he was amazing, you know.

[678] He was the first guy I saw that had a gun under the seat of his car, and it was a magnum.

[679] And he would have, you know, shot up a place.

[680] Yeah, he was graduate of USC in psychology and philosophy and had been a hell's angel.

[681] Oh, that's a nice combo.

[682] And he was just really, really something, man. Yeah.

[683] And ran a lot of the heroin and cocaine that was coming into L .A. at the time, out of the Holiday Inn.

[684] The Holiday Inn.

[685] And he had a toe and chill business.

[686] I became kind of like at the same time kind of a courier.

[687] Okay, sure, sure.

[688] For his.

[689] Hey, you got an audition over at Olympic and Third, and you're going to drive right by Los Siena and Third, so I'm going to give you a little thing.

[690] Just drop it off.

[691] Yeah, you don't look.

[692] in it.

[693] No, and I didn't.

[694] I was so afraid to.

[695] I was, I loved what we did, but at the same time, I was obsessed with something.

[696] And I think it was, I didn't like just being a comedy writer.

[697] And they knew better.

[698] Rudy and Barry knew better.

[699] They were so much emotionally smarter than me. and wiser and mature, that I was still just, you know, beginning to experience the early stages of alcoholism.

[700] Right.

[701] And, of course, it's the 60s, later 60s, early 70s, you got Vietnam.

[702] You got a whole bunch of reasons to go out and get loaded.

[703] Sure.

[704] Part of something I didn't even know what was going on.

[705] Yeah.

[706] And a little, a healthy chip on your shoulder?

[707] Totally.

[708] Yeah.

[709] That's right.

[710] Yeah.

[711] That's right.

[712] married and had at that time now two kids and that's stressful totally i was just so immature so then you do the craziest chapter of your life which is you completely quit show business even though you're gainfully employed and have met people that you can probably secure further employment and you pick up and you moved to the boondocks northern california round mountain was the name of the area that i was at 299 east and flipped a quarter when we got up there and you can go west or you can go east and came up, I forget, hedger, whatever, when we went east.

[713] Uh -huh.

[714] Yeah.

[715] And you did five years out in the woods after having been in show business.

[716] Correct.

[717] And it was Dick Shaw, Valerie Harper's husband, had given me a book called How to Build Your Own Log Cabin.

[718] Uh -huh.

[719] But we went up to about 40 acres, and there was no electricity, no running water.

[720] And...

[721] Now, really quick, in retrospect, was this at all an attempt at a geographical cure?

[722] for something that was going on.

[723] Yeah, I was doing a lot of psychedelics.

[724] Okay.

[725] Performing and loved it.

[726] Uh -huh.

[727] And at the same time, knew I was in real trouble.

[728] Right.

[729] Like you were in a nosedive?

[730] Correct.

[731] It was like blue barrels, what they called it at the time, which was acid, which was really strong.

[732] And then I was on.

[733] And you could function on a stage on acid.

[734] Totally.

[735] No shit.

[736] Yeah.

[737] As daring as I've been, I don't know that I would feel confident performing on acid.

[738] Yeah, I dropped it just before we did a set at the comedy store, and it was the three of us, and it was probably the best night I ever had.

[739] Really?

[740] Yeah.

[741] Uh -huh.

[742] Which told me something.

[743] Well, that's what happened to Jackie Gleason as well, right?

[744] If your first successful experiences are linked to, for him, it was booze.

[745] You're like, I need this thing to do that thing.

[746] Right.

[747] I just needed booze just to go out in front of people.

[748] Right.

[749] I needed something.

[750] Yeah.

[751] I'm not going out there.

[752] Right.

[753] Without some armor on.

[754] Yeah.

[755] I'm not bringing that guy with me. Whoever that guy is, I'll bring this guy.

[756] Uh -huh.

[757] And they won't know who this is because this guy does not exist without.

[758] Yeah.

[759] And if you laugh at that guy, that's not even me, so I'm safe.

[760] So we said, gone.

[761] With your kids.

[762] You took your kids with you.

[763] We had two then, and then Noah was born there.

[764] And I built a house.

[765] That was a logger, surveyor, janitor, teacher.

[766] I did a bunch of stuff.

[767] Some of it not very good.

[768] And there was a lot of Vietnam expatriates there, guys that have been psychops and all a bunch of stuff, growing pot.

[769] Looking to get lost?

[770] Yeah, and they were.

[771] Yeah.

[772] It was an extraordinary time because I learned how to survive.

[773] In general, did you enjoy it up there?

[774] I loved it.

[775] You did?

[776] Mm -hmm.

[777] I just couldn't make any money.

[778] Right.

[779] And I had to come back.

[780] So I hitched back and...

[781] Well, while you were there, you had discovered all these musicians, right?

[782] musicians, poets, authors, just people in general that had moved out of the city and stayed in the country.

[783] Some of them didn't come out.

[784] And it stayed back in...

[785] Ted Kaczynski, I think.

[786] Survivalists.

[787] Yeah, yeah.

[788] You know, you did have those people.

[789] The survivalists were some of my best friends.

[790] They were so willing to help you.

[791] It was an opening in terms of my mind and my thought process is about who is what and judgments.

[792] At the same time, these were the same people that would come up and ask me to go with them and bring my 30 -30 down to Napa because we're going to go protest Caesar Chavez and they may want to kill him.

[793] But can we help you build your house?

[794] Right.

[795] So you've got that thing going.

[796] And it's like, well, who am I?

[797] You know, who am I a member of?

[798] What do I belong?

[799] Where do I belong?

[800] Because I'm not a hippie.

[801] And I'd know in another way, world.

[802] And so John Beiner came up to do a concert at Shasta College.

[803] And I'd worked for John.

[804] And so I went to see him.

[805] Got me in the dressing room.

[806] And I just wanted to say hi.

[807] And he said, Craig, you got to come back.

[808] Come out of the woods, my friend.

[809] And that was kind of the split.

[810] That was the, I left the kids.

[811] And that was really hard.

[812] My wife.

[813] She stayed up there.

[814] She did.

[815] Oh.

[816] And then you have the best story of getting discovered I've ever heard.

[817] which is you decide upon getting to L .A., you're going to make a documentary about the many eclectic musicians around the country.

[818] To make money, yeah.

[819] You're going to go to Appalachia even.

[820] Yeah.

[821] And so you gather all these tapes, right?

[822] And you have an office.

[823] You're in your office, and you're hammered.

[824] You're editing and you're listening to all this music.

[825] 16 track.

[826] Yeah, I'm doing the whole thing.

[827] You're in there just in some world of your own, right?

[828] Totally.

[829] So you're blasting this music and you're pounding beers and doing God knows what else.

[830] And someone pops their head in the room, right?

[831] And says, what the fuck's going on in here?

[832] Yeah, I love it.

[833] He says, I love that.

[834] I had no idea who it was.

[835] It was Sam Peckinpaw.

[836] And he had an office and he was doing a movie called The Osterman Weekend.

[837] And I think I'd done justice for all by then.

[838] Barry and Valerie Curtin had written a film.

[839] Al Pacino.

[840] Al Pacino.

[841] And Barry came to the office one day, and he says, and they're hanging around.

[842] And Barry said, hey, listen, there's a part, you know, in Justice for All.

[843] Val and I have just written this movie.

[844] He says, you've got to go audition.

[845] I says, ah, and I'm doing my thing.

[846] I'm doing my documentary.

[847] Sure, sure.

[848] 16 tracks.

[849] Yeah, man. Fiddlers.

[850] And plus, you know, I got cocaine.

[851] And, you know, I got a lot of happening in this room.

[852] I don't know that I can.

[853] what's going on god knows what i'll miss if i leave this room this is where it's all happening and he says uh yeah why don't you go audition i'll set it up and he says you'd be great so i go over and meet norma jewison alpuccino alpuccino and he's come on in and said eh you know they start talking about it and he says well al wants to do a little improvisation and so i'm thinking oh yeah okay you're off we go and i'm doing stuff i don't even know And I get hired.

[854] I go to it and we do it.

[855] I'm still back in the office and I'm doing my thing and this guy walks in, the armadillo.

[856] So Monica, Sam Pakenpaw, most legendary crazy director of all time, one of them, you know, had a gun on his side sometimes while shooting and stuff, right?

[857] And all these great Westerns, just a renegade, right?

[858] Yeah.

[859] Yeah, he was an amazing guy.

[860] And just another wounded warrior, really, one of us, who just just.

[861] couldn't express it, you know, and a brilliant guy.

[862] Yeah.

[863] So he says to you, why don't you come down to the end of the hall?

[864] Yeah.

[865] And read for this movie I'm doing.

[866] Yeah, and I just was so popped, you know, I mean, I was so up and hammered.

[867] And I'm thinking, no. Were you chewing an enormous piece of gum or something?

[868] Yeah, I had a, so I, you know, I'm going to hide my breath from an alcoholic who's got booze down there in the office and can hardly wait to get to it.

[869] So I'm going down there, and sure enough, he says, well, why don't you read this?

[870] And the thought occurred to me, maybe I should read it from under the table.

[871] Sure, of course.

[872] So I did.

[873] And I slid down, you know, and he didn't say anything.

[874] You guys were a matchmate and happened.

[875] He had been waiting all his life for an actor to get under that table.

[876] And I'm reading it.

[877] And finally he says, what are you doing down there?

[878] And I take my gum out and I'm putting it on their table.

[879] I said, I'm putting my gum down here.

[880] And I'd come back up and he says, oh, good.

[881] So we continue.

[882] He says, I want you to play this part.

[883] The problem is I'm going to have to convince a whole bunch of people about, you know, because that.

[884] Yeah.

[885] The guy down the hall who's all gacked up mixing some 16 track.

[886] And it was like, no one's going to ever see.

[887] It was like so amazing to go to work and work with this guy and become one of his best friends.

[888] He had a, Sam had a team around him, and you just, you either loved him or hated him.

[889] Right.

[890] And he was not a hard guy to hate.

[891] Uh -huh.

[892] You know, he'd bring a gun sometimes.

[893] Sam would, and you didn't know if it's loaded and, oh, my God, what are we going to do?

[894] And he says, I want you to, like, I don't know yet.

[895] Let me think about it.

[896] And he, you say, Sam, what are we doing?

[897] And he says, don't talk to me now.

[898] I'm editing.

[899] I'm editing.

[900] But there's no equipment.

[901] And he said, well, in the camera, you fuck.

[902] It's in the camera.

[903] He would edit.

[904] Right.

[905] Up here.

[906] It was so much fun.

[907] It was dangerous because that's where I went really.

[908] Well, you're looking at someone who's highly regarded, very successful, and they're all fucked up.

[909] So you're thinking, oh, this can all be done while fucked up.

[910] I'm not going to have to make a choice between these things.

[911] you can do both.

[912] Yeah, right.

[913] And I want to die as a poet anyway.

[914] Right.

[915] You want a big romantic on fire.

[916] Yeah.

[917] And maybe I'll make the cover Rolling Stone.

[918] If I'm...

[919] If it's a spectacular enough death.

[920] You know, can I flame?

[921] Right.

[922] So, yeah, it was a really dangerous time and those of us that are susceptible to that call, that if I dedicated my life and sold my soul, so to speak, I could get it.

[923] And all I needed to do is just go a little bit further.

[924] Just go a little more Dylan Thomas, a little bit more Rimbaud, and I'd have it.

[925] You know, I'd have that juge, that key.

[926] Yeah.

[927] And I could be a Picasso.

[928] Also, that little bit of positive reinforcement is enough to keep the sinking ship afloat, right?

[929] As long as you're succeeding on this other, thing that you know you desire it can help you overlook what a travesty your personal life is right yeah it's just a series of coverings you know what can i cover this with what can i cover that with you know the thing for me that was so deceptive about alcohol and drugs was that i felt like i was abandoning those thoughts and those um that those guilt feelings and all all i was doing was just making them more intense for the next time.

[930] Right.

[931] So I had to do a little bit more to get rid of them.

[932] Yeah.

[933] And that in itself is like you're getting further and further away from the truth of who I was and becoming something that I thought I was, which is like completely wrong.

[934] Boy, you know, something's got a, hmm.

[935] Something's going to have to give.

[936] Something is.

[937] And I think it's going to be me and I'm going down.

[938] Uh -huh.

[939] So anyway.

[940] But you have a couple of really spectacular things before you eventually go down.

[941] I find highly amusing.

[942] One of them being you went and did that movie, Killing Fields, which is set in Cambodia, but you were shooting in Thailand, right?

[943] Yes.

[944] I've done all the right moves.

[945] I got yelled at by the director.

[946] It was one of Tom Cruise's first films.

[947] I was completely gone all the way through the movie.

[948] It was Johnstown, Pennsylvania.

[949] I might as well have been in York.

[950] Did you see in him?

[951] I'm just really curious.

[952] Yes.

[953] You did.

[954] He was such a great kid.

[955] He really was.

[956] He, and one night he was asking me about acting and blah, blah, blah, and I don't know I'm hooked up.

[957] They can hear me over the headphones.

[958] Oh, uh -huh.

[959] And I'm talking about acting.

[960] Like, I know what I'm talking about.

[961] You're Stanislavski.

[962] Right.

[963] It's 2 o 'clock in the morning.

[964] I'm loaded.

[965] We're out there in freezing weather.

[966] And there's this great kid asking me, well, do you think, and I'm going to, well, let me say, you're at, you know.

[967] So finally, Michael Chapman comes over.

[968] He says, I don't want you talking to my actors.

[969] So he's pointing at me. I think he's yelling.

[970] I don't know.

[971] I don't know.

[972] I don't know what you're talking to my eye.

[973] And I says, fuck you, and bit, and off we go.

[974] And we're at fighting, and I'm getting an underground parking garage.

[975] And I got him on top of the Chevy, and I'm pounding the shit out of him.

[976] His hat falls off.

[977] He's a director.

[978] Anyway, we get over there, and the sound guy comes over and he says, you got five bucks on you?

[979] And I says, huh?

[980] I'll sell it to you for five bucks.

[981] All the audio of everything.

[982] Oh, my God.

[983] And he says, I got it.

[984] If you want it.

[985] And I said, shit, that's the last thing I want to hear.

[986] Anyway, so I'm coming off of that.

[987] Yeah, go to Killingfield.

[988] That's a good place to go get your head straight, Thailand.

[989] Oh, my God.

[990] I get arrested in Hong Kong on the plane, Aer Lingus, because of the stewardess, I says, I got a headache.

[991] She says, you have been drinking the entire flight.

[992] We're now just getting ready to land in Hong Kong.

[993] She says, here, she gives me some value.

[994] Oh, that's nice.

[995] And whatever chemicals I had in me, when the Valium hit, I had Bob Seeger playing, and I cranked him up, and now the people in first class are going, you got to get rid of this guy.

[996] So the police, Hong Kong police, come down the ramp, and I'm going out, I says, can I go out and just get some air?

[997] That's all you need, yeah.

[998] You're coming with us, and we're going to, and they strip all my tapes.

[999] And that's thinking that, what, I got microfilm.

[1000] I have no idea.

[1001] Now I'm yelling at the Hong Kong police.

[1002] Oh, God.

[1003] Anyway, so we make it to Thailand.

[1004] That was just the beginning.

[1005] And the next thing you know, you're rolling, you can get anything, anytime, anywhere.

[1006] You know, and the next thing I know, I'm on every drug there is.

[1007] Right.

[1008] Using it all the time.

[1009] Up, down, in, out.

[1010] I mean, I don't even, I burn up my boom box because I plug it in thinking, whoa, we're on the same electrical.

[1011] You're running 220.

[1012] your Bob Seeger tape.

[1013] And it goes, co -boom.

[1014] And I've got stuff.

[1015] I don't even know what it is.

[1016] And I'm taking it.

[1017] And I get so, yeah, I'm gone.

[1018] And Doria says, I think, on the phone, I'm going to come out and see you.

[1019] And, you know, this is the woman that I love, but I don't know who she is.

[1020] I have no idea who I am.

[1021] So she comes out to visit.

[1022] And in the meantime, I've contracted this kind of, allergic reaction to everything I'm taking, and I literally have got the worst case of dysentery you have ever seen.

[1023] I should have known it was that kind of story.

[1024] And then I'm taking other things to combat that.

[1025] Firm things up with some opiates.

[1026] And the point being...

[1027] You've kind of forgotten at this point that Dory is coming, right?

[1028] Totally.

[1029] And I get a knock on the door.

[1030] I think I've been with somebody.

[1031] I'm not sure.

[1032] And I'm missing like $3 ,000.

[1033] Ah.

[1034] So hotel security has been up there.

[1035] And I'm in my underpants because I don't want to put anything else on.

[1036] And I try to tell them that I don't know who was here.

[1037] Somebody's got a key to this room.

[1038] Something that got to be did.

[1039] Next thing I know knock, knock, knock, nah.

[1040] It's a scare.

[1041] Open the door.

[1042] story hi oh and she looks at me and she said my god what's wrong craig and i go what she says you're gray oh uh -huh i said i got dengue fever Yeah, I just, the doctor was just here.

[1043] Doctor just left with my $3 ,000.

[1044] Dengue fever.

[1045] She said, well, what is that?

[1046] It just rapture.

[1047] It's tropical.

[1048] Oh, my goodness.

[1049] You can only get it here.

[1050] Talk about thinking on your feet, boy.

[1051] You brought dengue fever.

[1052] Oh, does that kill me. Yeah, it was.

[1053] So despite all that, you, you, you, That was it.

[1054] Yeah, it was pretty much.

[1055] Well, no, do we still have Poltergeist?

[1056] I'd done Poltergeist before.

[1057] Oh, that was before, Killingham?

[1058] Yeah.

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] Oh, that's interesting.

[1061] Eighty -one.

[1062] Oh, okay.

[1063] Yeah, I'd done Poltergeist.

[1064] Stay tuned for more Armchair expert, if you dare.

[1065] And then Poultergeist is where I become aware of you as an actor.

[1066] Like, I see Poultergeist when I'm young, and I remember every part of that movie.

[1067] and that performance and ever I think of that movie I think of you in the mirror sticking your belly up pulling it in sticking it out pulling it in before after you yeah before and after it was real enough that it stuck out even as a kid I was like oh I don't see guys do that in movies like oh this guy is acting like a real dad like there was there was some breakthrough thing about that it just really was an impactful performance and and I just love the movie as every single person did And then, boy, was I delighted when I got to know you, just to know what you had gone through on that movie.

[1068] And then I watched it again after you told me those stories.

[1069] And that scene that I love with the belly, what I had missed in that scene is that your pupils are the size of manhole covers.

[1070] And in fact, they're the size of manhole covers, the whole movie.

[1071] Yeah.

[1072] You are gacked to the gills in that movie.

[1073] It's incredible to me that you could perform that way.

[1074] Well, isn't that the lie, though?

[1075] Well, in this case, it's not really a lie.

[1076] You were really brilliant.

[1077] To the performer is the lie is, well, I can't do this not loaded.

[1078] Right.

[1079] I've got to have a buffer.

[1080] Yeah.

[1081] I mean, shit, I've done all this work.

[1082] What am I do now?

[1083] Yeah.

[1084] And the big lesson for me was so, and I made a mess of poltergust.

[1085] I really did afterwards.

[1086] Well, you had a heart attack during the movie, right?

[1087] Yeah, I had attack of cardio.

[1088] and they said a virus muscle was attacking my heart muscle.

[1089] That's what they said it was.

[1090] And I had been in that pool that we had dug in the back and blah, blah, blah, and there was all those skeletons and all the stuff in the rain.

[1091] So I don't know what I picked up, and I could have picked it up from somewhere else.

[1092] But the point being, it was time to get out of that.

[1093] And then the real turning point, I think, was when I got with Toby Hooper, who was assigned a directing job on that.

[1094] And Toby and I conspired to come up with this stuff about Stephen Spielberg that it was just, it was ruthless and it wasn't right.

[1095] And I did it.

[1096] I realized that I was now out of control.

[1097] Well, didn't you, you were put in the hospital and then you were in your hospital gown and you needed cigarettes at some point.

[1098] Well, no. My son, my youngest came in and he was on the set of poltergeist.

[1099] all the time.

[1100] I was in intensive care, and I had my own, my own bag that had my cam, I'm still sure yourself, medicating yourself, yeah.

[1101] And they're giving me stuff at the hospital.

[1102] Right.

[1103] And so I'm now just fine.

[1104] Right, right where you need to be.

[1105] Oh, man. Trouble is I need some smokes, but I'm in intensive care and I've got a hospital gone on.

[1106] So I, well, Noah's there visiting me. I says, and he's nine.

[1107] let's go over to the sagebrush canteen.

[1108] I'll grab some smoke, come on.

[1109] He says, Dad, what are you going to?

[1110] I said, come on, we'll go out this way.

[1111] When we're going, sneak out.

[1112] So, hey, how are you doing?

[1113] The bartender looks at me and goes, what are you doing?

[1114] I said, I'd like a pack smoke.

[1115] He says, can I tell you something?

[1116] You're not dressed.

[1117] And he said, and besides, you're not dressed.

[1118] Your producers are in the back room.

[1119] having dinner i would get out if i were you uh -huh so he gives me the smokes i go yeah by the way can you see your lead actor coming in and out of the restaurant you're eating it in a fucking hospital gown to buy a back of cigarettes how how panicked are you and if you're not an addict can you really know what someone's going through if they're like showing up and doing the job and all that i don't know it's probably really confusing yeah well it's a lot like the stories you hear after you get sober about the other actors or stars or whatever that have gone on while they've been working where they put their booze and who knew right point is is that i couldn't continue to keep doing what i was doing right the end was near yeah uh i can't do that and so i can't act without it yeah well that's it that's it that's terrifying And I'd been hired to do a job.

[1120] Oh, my God, right.

[1121] This, oh, my God, I forgot this.

[1122] This makes me so happy.

[1123] You thought you were doing a movie, right?

[1124] With Polter, yeah, exactly.

[1125] I thought we were doing a movie of the week.

[1126] Right.

[1127] But the contract said that if it did really well, there was a series attachment.

[1128] It was a pilot, and it got picked up, right?

[1129] And everyone was celebrating.

[1130] Craig thought, wait, I thought this was a movie of the week.

[1131] I had no idea.

[1132] Oh, by the way, you're going to get sober and come back to do something that you did drunk.

[1133] Right.

[1134] And I came back and I literally did not know.

[1135] If you could do it.

[1136] If I could do it, yeah.

[1137] And did you find out pretty quickly that you could or was it a process?

[1138] It was going to be different.

[1139] I was completely, I was stripped.

[1140] So January 21st, 84 was my sobriety date.

[1141] I think we started in March.

[1142] Not a long time.

[1143] No, no. What do I do?

[1144] Right.

[1145] I have no attachment to emotional recall.

[1146] None of the things that I'd used.

[1147] I don't feel, I feel fantastic in a way, but I don't feel like acting.

[1148] Right.

[1149] So we get to the set, and it was at Paramount, and the director comes over, and he says, you know, we're shooting the scene.

[1150] and he said, you know, I'm not getting it.

[1151] I don't know what you're doing, but whatever it is, it ain't working.

[1152] And he was right.

[1153] I mean, I was playing it, but I wasn't connecting in the same way.

[1154] I wasn't, you know.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] And I knew I couldn't get there because none of that stuff was there anymore.

[1157] Right.

[1158] All of the angst at this time, you know, I'm kind of on the pink cloud.

[1159] Right.

[1160] Well, and I say this sometimes the people who are curious about acting.

[1161] I'm like, you know, there is a slight advantage when you're called to on to do an emotional scene where you're going to want to remember something that was very painful.

[1162] And for a raging addict, one need only think back to probably that morning or the night before.

[1163] You know, it is right there.

[1164] You did something probably four days ago you're hoping no one calls about.

[1165] And then if you're living a pretty good life, you just got to go back further and further and further.

[1166] So there is a little bit of an advantage to living in a fucking hurricane and being an actor.

[1167] And you're living in pain anyway.

[1168] And pain is your friend.

[1169] And pain is your enemy.

[1170] And that's what you're trying to get rid of and absorb more of.

[1171] I went over.

[1172] He says, you're not doing it.

[1173] As you give me a minute.

[1174] I said, God, if you want me to do this, if this is what I'm meant to do, can you help me out here?

[1175] Right.

[1176] Because I got a real problem.

[1177] Can you help me out?

[1178] But by the way, higher power or not, the act of being humble enough to say, I can't do this, Yeah, and that's been my key ever since.

[1179] I really do have to acknowledge the fact that I'm doing this pretty much at somebody else's nickel here.

[1180] As a result, I came away from that moment on stage, and I went back to the scene, and I was able to do it.

[1181] The director came up, said, that was really good.

[1182] I don't know what you did, but that was really good.

[1183] All I knew was, okay, if this is a gift, I've got to be really careful about this.

[1184] Because if I start taking credit for it, I know where this is going to go.

[1185] Right.

[1186] And I can't claim it as being something, even if it's good or bad.

[1187] I can't claim it as being mine because it isn't.

[1188] All I am, it's a vessel to do it.

[1189] You know, and I've got my ego still running with me. It's still tagging along and I'm carrying it like it's important.

[1190] Well, and you care a lot.

[1191] And I care a lot.

[1192] One thing I'll say is that I was impressed with the fact that when we started that show, you were, I guess, 66, 65.

[1193] Yeah.

[1194] And you genuinely cared.

[1195] And I remember thinking, boy, I hope I have the fortitude to even still care then.

[1196] Like, I can imagine myself just being like, whatever, like, whatever gets us to lunch quicker is what I want to do.

[1197] Right.

[1198] You genuinely were passionate about how these scenes should go and how your character should go and stuff.

[1199] And I think that's admirable.

[1200] So how many years into sobriety before you got coach?

[1201] four years four years that's a great time to get that don't you think yeah it was such a gift but the whole thing's been deck oh yeah but i'm just saying sobriety wise like you've got a nice little foundation yeah they say you're your your thinking kind of returns at like the five year marker they kind of say yeah you start i started sleeping uh -huh and after two years i think i started sleeping again yeah i didn't realize i hadn't been sleeping for like 35 years right right Right.

[1202] You know, well, that dengue fever, boy, it'll really take a toll on your REM.

[1203] Yeah.

[1204] But you get coached.

[1205] Was your ego in a good place when you decided to do that show, or did you have reservations about it?

[1206] Reservations.

[1207] I didn't want to really do it.

[1208] It was really good money.

[1209] Uh -huh.

[1210] So I said, okay.

[1211] And I felt at the time, because I've been doing movies.

[1212] I've done some television, but I'm mainly doing movies.

[1213] I was working my way back up again into that kind of.

[1214] movie movie them and i thought do i want to do i want to do i want to do i want to do that well yeah well that was also in an era where you felt like if if i go do a sitcom my movie career's done so i'm i'm making that decision you're seller right and which now of course doesn't exist but then it was there was this huge it was real right it was real it was like well you sold them Anyway, I did it, and we did the pilot.

[1215] Bob Auger shows up.

[1216] He's his young kid from New York.

[1217] He's been a sports guy.

[1218] He shows up.

[1219] He's now the head of ABC.

[1220] And he says, I saw your show.

[1221] I really like it.

[1222] We're going to put it on the air.

[1223] And then it was like nine years.

[1224] Yeah.

[1225] And in the meantime, it was an exploration of being sober working with networks and that hierarchy and my own self -will and control.

[1226] Right.

[1227] Because now I'm the star.

[1228] Yeah.

[1229] And now I've got to be something.

[1230] Uh -huh.

[1231] And me and myself and the creator, Barry Kemp, did not get along.

[1232] Uh -huh.

[1233] And he wanted me to do things, and I didn't want to do them and blah, blah, blah.

[1234] So we're now have this hate thing going, and I'm very uncomfortable.

[1235] He's very uncomfortable.

[1236] And it's permeating the set.

[1237] Mm -hmm.

[1238] And I'm exercising my emotional blackmail all over the place.

[1239] And I can make you feel bad by just looking at you.

[1240] And I realize I'm in trouble emotionally.

[1241] Right.

[1242] And because it's starting to physically affect me. And then finally it snaps.

[1243] And they call me up to the Black Tower.

[1244] And this may be the second year.

[1245] Oh, really?

[1246] I go up.

[1247] And I've complained about them coming down.

[1248] And we shot on Fridays, two shows.

[1249] Then after the last Friday show, you had pickups.

[1250] They would come down, the writers and the producers come down, and they had their red paper cups with booze in them.

[1251] And they would get loaded.

[1252] And then we're there until 1 o 'clock in the morning, and they're giving direction about what they want in reshoots, and I'm just getting more pissed and more pissed.

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] I smell of booze.

[1255] I don't like it.

[1256] I can hear the, right?

[1257] the slurs starting and laughter over stuff that's not funny.

[1258] Some I love yous probably.

[1259] So they call me up and my lawyer said, all he wants, he wants them not to drink on the set.

[1260] At work.

[1261] He says, that's unreasonable.

[1262] I says, okay, I tell you what.

[1263] I'm in the dressing room, in the green room.

[1264] I'll do lines of Coke and come out and we'll see how unreasonable this whole fucking thing is.

[1265] okay so we make peace and the next thing i know it's four years and i'm on the set and barry and i are managed to get along and he comes up and he says i want to talk to you and he sits me down and i said i want to make you executive producer of the show because you run it from the floor so i do you look back and think god i wish i could have enjoyed that miraculous i enjoyed it man you did totally oh good oh totally oh good no i see barry camp all the time in fact we tried to do do a reboot.

[1266] Right, right.

[1267] And it just didn't work.

[1268] Uh -huh.

[1269] For whatever it's worth, I had so much fun.

[1270] Oh, good.

[1271] And that's when you got crazy about racing.

[1272] Crazy about racing, yeah.

[1273] And that took the focus away from, as you know, because all you can do is focus on that.

[1274] Yeah.

[1275] It takes your money and your focus.

[1276] Uh -huh.

[1277] And that's pretty much, it was still so dangerous.

[1278] Yeah.

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] It hadn't yet gotten to the point where these guys are like almost in airplanes now.

[1281] Mm -hmm.

[1282] And they're as safe.

[1283] for the most part, which is pretty remarkable.

[1284] Oh, totally.

[1285] Yeah, they're going 220 miles an hour and they're surviving all these crashes.

[1286] Surviving the crashes.

[1287] And it's all about the safety precautions are enormous.

[1288] And yeah, I did the MSA prototypes and I had a Riley Scott chassis and two of them, two cars.

[1289] And Lozano Ford did the engines and it's 5 -liter.

[1290] Uh -huh.

[1291] And so it was about 560 horsepower.

[1292] In an 1 ,800 -pound car or something?

[1293] 2 ,000 pounds.

[1294] With the driver, yeah.

[1295] That's bonkers.

[1296] That's real shit, Monica.

[1297] Sounds real.

[1298] Yeah, that car will go upside down and hold itself on the road.

[1299] It's got enough down force.

[1300] I mean, it's a real...

[1301] Yeah, it was pretty amazing to go to Daytona for the first time, and you find out you really love something, want to do something, and you think you can do it.

[1302] And then you realize you really are scared shitless.

[1303] Uh -uh.

[1304] The first time I went, and we went did it.

[1305] a drive -through on the track and the raking on the oval is so steep that I couldn't sit in the passenger seeing I would like leaning over to the and I'm looking up saying this there's no way it's no way I can drive on and then when you do it at speed and you're getting on it and it's like your neck is like you know it gets swollen and it gets you can't move after a while you cannot move your neck.

[1306] So you have to wear a strap that's connected to your helmet so you can cinch it up as you're going in the race as you're getting more, your neck muscles are fatiguing.

[1307] And coming off the tri -oval on this straightaway and my head goes clonk.

[1308] And I can't lift it.

[1309] So I have to take my hand and lift it.

[1310] Ratchet your head up.

[1311] But by the time we met you, I think I think I was like going to the track or something.

[1312] And I was like, why don't you come, Craig?

[1313] Come with me in the track.

[1314] There's going to be three cars there or whatever.

[1315] And you said, I will never go to a track again.

[1316] It ended up for you being nearly as serious as your addiction to alcohol and drugs, right?

[1317] It really became something you had to quit.

[1318] Yeah, I had to pull the needle.

[1319] Yeah.

[1320] I loved it.

[1321] There's just nothing like it.

[1322] Yeah, it is.

[1323] The camaraderie, the engines.

[1324] Yeah.

[1325] The appeal of it is.

[1326] Not necessarily what you think it is, but particularly when I'm doing track days on the motorcycle, you cannot not focus on the task you're doing in the present for even one second or you will crash.

[1327] And the freedom from my thoughts for hours at a time, that's the real appeal of racing.

[1328] It just requires 100 % of your focus or you're in the grass.

[1329] And that's what's so euphoric about it for me. Totally.

[1330] And you're absolutely spot on.

[1331] And until the ballet goes bad, it is the most remarkable experience I'll ever have.

[1332] I remember being third that rode Atlanta, which was one of the more...

[1333] That's a fast, scary tracks.

[1334] That downhill under the bridge is...

[1335] Oh, isn't it great.

[1336] Yeah, yeah.

[1337] I came over that in the rain, and you come up this top, and you're doing about 140, you come up over the top, and you lift a little bit, come down.

[1338] A little light.

[1339] And it's off camber, and you're going, oh, shit.

[1340] And you get it.

[1341] You get it.

[1342] You get it.

[1343] You get it, get it, come through there.

[1344] And it's like, I made it.

[1345] It's like every lap.

[1346] Yes, yes.

[1347] It's like jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

[1348] And he said, I got through.

[1349] I got through.

[1350] It's just remarkable.

[1351] Okay.

[1352] So you quit racing, and that's probably for the best.

[1353] I'm sure Doria was happy.

[1354] And you got, you went straight into golf with the same vigor, right?

[1355] You're as obsessed with golf now as you ever were racing.

[1356] Oh, have you peeled back that a little bit?

[1357] Yeah, something.

[1358] Well, to me, the whole purpose of what I'm doing now is to get closer to that spiritual force that has kept me sober over these years.

[1359] But I'm finding that five hours on a golf course with people that I don't really spend a lot of time with.

[1360] I don't necessarily have a great time out there anymore.

[1361] So what are you doing now for fun?

[1362] I'm writing with my son.

[1363] Oh, you are?

[1364] Yeah, Noah is a great writer.

[1365] Noah has got a script that we've been working on for about a year.

[1366] Uh -huh.

[1367] And we sold it.

[1368] For television or a film?

[1369] It's for a television.

[1370] It's a ten -parter.

[1371] Oh, great.

[1372] And it's exciting.

[1373] And he came up with this idea about a year and a half ago, and I loved it.

[1374] Isn't it?

[1375] It's beautiful to be able to share your work with your son, isn't it?

[1376] Yeah.

[1377] I mean, it's like, I'm in awe.

[1378] Yeah, I can't imagine me I'll do that with my daughters.

[1379] It would be the highlight of my own.

[1380] And it was his.

[1381] desire also to do it with me. And I'm hoping that we get a chance to do it.

[1382] Do you think, though, that you could frame this as a, you know, we're in the show up and work business, not in the results business?

[1383] And ultimately, who gives a flying fuck?

[1384] If you get to spend a year with Noah in process, that that's the reward, even if it never goes on TV or anyone or sees it or if it's the thing you set out to make like the just sharing this experience with noa is the destination no no no that's such a mature way of looking at it i'm not going to do it i would say that in an interview but to you i will tell you no good i want to see it happen because what he came up with, deserves to be fought for.

[1385] And I want to see him be able to experience that.

[1386] Yeah.

[1387] Because I've had that.

[1388] Right.

[1389] And I abused it.

[1390] Uh -huh.

[1391] But I did have it.

[1392] And there were moments when we did parenthood where it was like joyous and free.

[1393] Yeah.

[1394] And so that's...

[1395] Well, I don't know about from your side of the couch, but for me, we didn't get many scenes together for whatever reason i don't think anyone was conspiring against us but when we had scenes they were i just would always get to work and i'd like look at the sides and i'd be like oh my god i have one with craig and we just always had so much fun horsing around right oh god you said to me once yeah you said uh i had my hair all messed up and it was kind of longer then and it came into the scene with bonnie and we're in the kind of washroom she's doing his laundry and and dax is there and has crossed me, and he says, you look like he got in a fight with a leaf flower.

[1396] And going home, I'm thinking about the scene, I'm thinking, oh, I knew what I should have said.

[1397] And he says that, and I should have said, yeah, I won.

[1398] Because it was a perfect Z -ZEK comeback.

[1399] But he would do things like that and make you think.

[1400] And there was a freedom that was wonderful because there was a freedom that was acknowledged and accepted.

[1401] Encouraged, I'd say.

[1402] Encouraged.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] And it was like true play.

[1405] Yeah.

[1406] Yeah.

[1407] I genuinely love you.

[1408] I always felt so grateful that you were the guy that was going to play my dad for six years.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] I just always was like, oh, I fucking hit the lottery.

[1411] Yeah, it was so great.

[1412] I mean, we had we're so similar.

[1413] Very, I mean.

[1414] With these big noses, we're tall or fucking weird.

[1415] We move weird.

[1416] Your hands are always dancing around when you're making a point.

[1417] My wife's like, Jesus Christ, well, I know who I'll be married to in a few years.

[1418] Yeah.

[1419] Well, Craig, I thank you so much for driving all the way from Malibu.

[1420] Did you have to evacuate in the fires, or were you fine?

[1421] I did, yeah.

[1422] We evacuated 15 days, yeah.

[1423] Oh, my goodness.

[1424] I went and lived with Noah for three days, and then I went out to the Hyatt Regency in Westlake.

[1425] Okay.

[1426] And they take the animals, so I had Gilbert the cat and nugget the dog in a hotel room with all the other evacuees.

[1427] And it was, it was terrifying, Dax.

[1428] It was.

[1429] Because some houses in your neighborhood did burn down, yeah?

[1430] Oh, yeah.

[1431] Our next door neighbor's gone.

[1432] Oh, my gosh.

[1433] Point Doom is like, there's maybe 80 houses gone.

[1434] Oh, my God.

[1435] It was all the perimeter on our property and then within 10 feet of the house.

[1436] Wow.

[1437] We saw it going.

[1438] And, you know, for almost a week, we didn't know whether the house was gone or not.

[1439] You couldn't get in.

[1440] And it was and is a really terrifying thing to go through.

[1441] Yeah.

[1442] And the people that have lost their places are, you know, PTSD.

[1443] Talk to a lady yesterday.

[1444] Lost everything.

[1445] Been there 50 years.

[1446] Oh, man. You know, we went and did the other day.

[1447] We went and did this panel for Incredibles too.

[1448] Right.

[1449] Which, by the way, was spectacular.

[1450] It was so good.

[1451] I took the girls.

[1452] Oh, you did?

[1453] And we had a fucking party.

[1454] I'm doing this panel, and they're screening the movie, and then they ask your questions afterwards.

[1455] And it was raining that day, and I didn't want to go, and I didn't want to answer questions, and I don't know what to say.

[1456] And I'm sitting in this chair, director's chair, and all I can think of, as I'm sitting there, is how the hell did I get here?

[1457] Uh -huh.

[1458] And when I look at it, and I think, well, this is meaningful.

[1459] It's really meaningful because it's important.

[1460] impacted so many people.

[1461] Oh, yes.

[1462] What are you doing, isolating again, you know, in terms of where I was.

[1463] Yeah.

[1464] And this is like the rapid thought you go through as you're sitting there waiting to answer a question.

[1465] Yeah, right.

[1466] And so I just found it interesting.

[1467] I thought, you know, and once again, you have no idea of the enrichment that you've been given.

[1468] Well, also, it's this, it's this really tricky thing for you and I to navigate, which is you know that you better not sit there and take stake of how successful it is and how much you had to do with that and how many people you've touched.

[1469] Because once you're on that road, you're fucked, right?

[1470] You're, you're, that's not a good road for us.

[1471] But by protecting ourselves from doing that, we also can miss out on shit.

[1472] You can also not recognize that I, Dak Shepard, your friend, sat in a movie theater for two hours with my children, laughing, squeezing each other's hands, looking at each other and smile.

[1473] And they'll remember that for the rest of their life.

[1474] So that is happening too and that's worth experiencing yeah and feeling and yet not heading into the fucking grandiosity of i'm the center of this universe totally i mean that's totally right on and you know what it's to be celebrated yes i mean my god you know what once in someone's lifetime would they end up in a movie like that you know if they were so lucky dax when i saw iron giant in hawaii for the fourth time Doria and I are watching it and beautiful Kauai and Iron Giant's such a great movie.

[1475] And I'm crying at the end of it.

[1476] I turned to her and I go, you know, I just would really like it.

[1477] Maybe if I could just do one of those.

[1478] Two weeks later, I get a script in Hawaii called The Incredibles.

[1479] Uh -huh.

[1480] Hey, those are the guys that did Iron Giant.

[1481] Yeah, that's suspicious.

[1482] And I didn't have Siri then.

[1483] Oh, right, right.

[1484] Right.

[1485] So the connection.

[1486] And there it is.

[1487] Yeah, so do it again, okay, because I want to take my kids listen to Grandpa Zeke.

[1488] Yeah.

[1489] Jack, Jack?

[1490] Math is math.

[1491] Well, I love you so much, and I'm very, very grateful you came out.

[1492] I'm so.

[1493] Made the trip.

[1494] Thanks for asking me, man. Thanks, everybody.

[1495] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my.

[1496] My soulmate Monica Padman.

[1497] I wanted to update you on my earwax.

[1498] It's such an interesting conundrum.

[1499] It's a paradox.

[1500] Tell me. Because as we both know, through 23 and me, I have genetic wet earwax.

[1501] That's right.

[1502] Disgusting earwax.

[1503] Well, hold on.

[1504] I guess I just have scabs in my ears.

[1505] On the airplane, I pulled a scab out of my ear today flying home from New York.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] And I thought, well, I'm definitely going to tell Monica.

[1508] And then I thought, should I tell everyone?

[1509] Yes, that's exactly what I thought.

[1510] And I was like, what will be the limit of how gross I am where people, they just finally tune out.

[1511] I'm talking about poop my pants.

[1512] You know, I talk about, I don't want them to tune out on the fact check because of your scabby ears.

[1513] Well, I'm afraid they're going to tune out just, period.

[1514] Forget the fact check.

[1515] How big was the scab?

[1516] It was the size of half a piece of rice, uncooked rice.

[1517] And I got to tell you, honestly, it looked very much like a piece of uncooked.

[1518] cooked rice.

[1519] It wasn't like black.

[1520] It wasn't a black scab.

[1521] Are you sure it wasn't just dry earwax?

[1522] Yeah.

[1523] Well, that's what I'm saying is the paradox.

[1524] I must have a co -dominant gene where I have wet and.

[1525] Of course you spun this into.

[1526] So blessed.

[1527] So blessed.

[1528] I think I have dry and wet earwax, Monica.

[1529] Maybe the wet wax, some of that dried up into this piece of rice.

[1530] Yeah.

[1531] And now you're making rice in your ears.

[1532] Well, I had a scab in my ear.

[1533] Remember when we were on vacation?

[1534] This is so gross.

[1535] When you showed me that, remember, it led to me telling you a story about Bree's cobalt blue wax that was extracted from her head by a doctor.

[1536] It was cobalt blue.

[1537] It was fucking beautiful.

[1538] Why?

[1539] What did the doctor say?

[1540] It was like an ear infection and then it was just this beautiful cobalt blue.

[1541] So you're making, right?

[1542] She's making like rock, like precious stone.

[1543] She's making igneous rock.

[1544] Blue igneous It was so beautiful I like sedimentary I don't It's so weak You can't make a countert Well it looks beautiful But you can't make a countertop out of it It just breaks It feels so Mascaramus Oh okay Yeah Anyway She's making precious stone Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah Good for her I wouldn't say aquamarine That's the wrong description Because it was cobalt It wasn't a soft blue Like my brother's beautiful eyes Well like your shoes Yeah Not those shoes Yeah, yeah.

[1545] Dax got some new fancy shoes.

[1546] Well, more accurately, Monica bought me a beautiful pair of Jordan Fours.

[1547] Well, I bought them for you because you tried to buy them yourself and you did a bad job.

[1548] The order got canceled.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] So then I found a way.

[1551] You figured it out.

[1552] I'm good at shopping.

[1553] You're really great at it.

[1554] I just gave you a compliment in your absence in New York.

[1555] Someone was talking about how they're good at finding stuff online.

[1556] Oh, I know what it was.

[1557] I saw your friend Rachel.

[1558] It saw her second time.

[1559] Oh, you did.

[1560] a hotel lobby last night, and her buddy was talking about how she can find things on the internet.

[1561] She was saying that she had found a warehouse that still had like 200 ,000 bottles of the perfume.

[1562] She ended up buying them for like 20 cents on a dollar.

[1563] And then I said, you know who's great at finding stuff on the internet?

[1564] Monica.

[1565] Oh.

[1566] Yeah.

[1567] Long walk for me to tell you that I was talking about you in New York, but I thought it would make, thank you.

[1568] Thank you.

[1569] That's a nice compliment.

[1570] I don't know that I deserve that compliment, to be honest.

[1571] Take it.

[1572] Take it.

[1573] Just take it.

[1574] Take the no, I only take the ones that I believe in.

[1575] Okay.

[1576] I wish we had both seen Bless this mess last night so we could discuss it.

[1577] Need to.

[1578] I have a bad feeling about it.

[1579] I'll just be honest.

[1580] But you had that about good place, too.

[1581] You just have a bad feeling about yourself and stuff.

[1582] Yeah.

[1583] You had a bad feeling about chips, chippies.

[1584] Yeah?

[1585] Yeah, so it's just, you know, at a certain point you'll go, oh, it's just a pattern.

[1586] Don't listen to it.

[1587] Maybe.

[1588] Or hope.

[1589] You'll be happy to know my manicure's still going.

[1590] Oh, great news.

[1591] Yeah.

[1592] Great update.

[1593] It's held up.

[1594] It still looks great.

[1595] I still am getting compliments.

[1596] See, those are compliments I can take because I know it's true.

[1597] Right.

[1598] I know that this current manicure looks good.

[1599] Right.

[1600] It's not a brag because it's not my nails.

[1601] It's the manicure.

[1602] It's what they did at the place.

[1603] The manicurist is getting a compliment, basically.

[1604] It's kind of like when people say, I loved parenthood.

[1605] And I always feel weird saying thank you because I didn't make parenthood.

[1606] Jason Katham's made parenthood.

[1607] So I'm always like, that's his compliment.

[1608] Because they're telling you that they like the way you did in that.

[1609] By the way, you know who I saw in the airport today?

[1610] Vince Fawn.

[1611] You did?

[1612] Yeah.

[1613] Talked to him for about 20 minutes this morning before my flight.

[1614] And then I got to say to him, oh, Justin Long was on this week.

[1615] And he told the best story.

[1616] And he does such a good impersonation of you.

[1617] And I said, you know, he told the story about being at the chateau and how you go like, a lot of guys would love to get their hands on you.

[1618] They'll be so lucky, you know?

[1619] Yeah.

[1620] And he goes, he's like, yeah, did you have a thing?

[1621] that you were you turn girls away with like did you have like a strategy and i'm like no i was like is there a bathroom here we can fuck in i'm like i'm the i was the opposite oh geez yeah what did you expect i was going to say do you think i had a method of getting rid of pretty girls that like me that's what you do yeah yeah yeah but did he have a reaction to that he just laughed very little i wanted i wanted more i thought he'd be like oh he's so honest but i didn't i should have told that I have gross at your wax that was a shape of a rice by the way he looked so fucking good looking he did he's better looking really he's growing with age well just his skin looked beautiful he looked slim and healthy he looked great like I was looking at him I was like you bet your ass people were coming over to his table to ask for a cigarette I mean he's so gorgeous in real life it's crazy really yeah he's really a fox let's get him in here I would love to I'm interested in getting him in here.

[1622] Yeah, yeah.

[1623] Wait, what I was going to say, when people say they like parenthood and you don't know how to say that, but they are saying that they like you because they're saying they're like, what you've done on that show.

[1624] I feel you.

[1625] I know what you're saying.

[1626] And if they said like, oh, you're, you are, I loved your acting on parenthood.

[1627] Then I'm like, oh, thank you.

[1628] But when they just say I love parenthood, I'm like, I didn't make it.

[1629] But they're saying, I love parenthood.

[1630] You're so good on it.

[1631] Oh, I'll just fill in that part.

[1632] say that.

[1633] No. I think you're so good.

[1634] You're so tall in real life.

[1635] That's supposedly all anyone says to me in real life.

[1636] That's like I posted a picture of my mom and me this week for Mother's Day.

[1637] I don't know if you saw it.

[1638] I didn't.

[1639] I posted a picture.

[1640] I'll show you right now.

[1641] Okay.

[1642] My mom and I on Mother's Day.

[1643] Oh, my.

[1644] Look at that little brown baby on your mom's lap.

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] Oh, my.

[1647] That's me. God.

[1648] Well, two things about this picture.

[1649] One, what I was going to say is your thing about not being able to take a compliment.

[1650] Oh, uh -huh.

[1651] Eric said, oh, your mom's teeth are so white.

[1652] Oh, uh -huh.

[1653] And I was like, I agree.

[1654] But I felt I couldn't say thank you.

[1655] Right.

[1656] It's not my teeth.

[1657] That's exactly the same thing.

[1658] It's the same thing.

[1659] That's exactly what I experience.

[1660] A lot of people do that with my fake mom, too.

[1661] Like, if they meet me, oh, I love Kristen.

[1662] I know, me too.

[1663] Oh, girl.

[1664] I know.

[1665] Listen.

[1666] Well, they say that about you, too, actually.

[1667] Oh, they do?

[1668] A lot of people said that this week about you.

[1669] Look, I went to two different parties, one for Fox, for spin the wheel, comes out June 20th.

[1670] Watch it.

[1671] Yeah, my game show, you could win $23 million.

[1672] It's spectacular.

[1673] I can't wait to watch it.

[1674] It's me and a suit with slick back hair being a game show host, but being weird on top of it.

[1675] Weird.

[1676] The second party I went to Tuesday night, last night, was the ABC for Bless This Mess.

[1677] Yeah.

[1678] There was 1 ,800 people at that party.

[1679] I asked the organizer.

[1680] Wow.

[1681] The night before, it was even more people.

[1682] And so I have to say I met at least 700 of those people.

[1683] If I'm being honest, I think I definitely met 700 of them.

[1684] It's a lot of people.

[1685] And to your point, I love your wife, which is so nice.

[1686] It is nice.

[1687] And then one woman said, you're going to hate me, but I like your wife way more than you.

[1688] And I'm like, I do too.

[1689] But also like, why would you say that?

[1690] Yeah, it's totally fine if you like her more than me. You don't need to share that with you.

[1691] me. I'll be just fine.

[1692] Also, like, if people could just turn the tables on themselves, if, like, if somebody said, I like your husband so much more than you, like, that's okay.

[1693] No one thinks it's okay if you're saying that to a person on the street.

[1694] Why do they think it's okay to say that to a celebrity?

[1695] But to your point, which you always point out, and you're smart to do.

[1696] So some people are just, they're nervous and they don't know what they're saying.

[1697] So, you know, I understand that as well.

[1698] But anyways.

[1699] Craig.

[1700] Craig.

[1701] T. Nelson.

[1702] I love him so much.

[1703] He's your dad.

[1704] He's my dad.

[1705] He's my dad.

[1706] He's a live dad.

[1707] my last living dad yeah yeah no no you've had some other dads well and my father -in -law tom bell who i love you have you have a father -in -law tom bell who we love you have um show bro bridges you have my dad you have you have what other dads have you had in movies well i guess tim robins was my dad in zithara oh that's a that's a good dad that's a high status dad yeah it's a great dad he's a great dad he's oh tell me more about your dad i want to meet that bad.

[1708] But Craig is...

[1709] He's my real dad.

[1710] He's the real dad, yeah.

[1711] Six years is my dad.

[1712] You know, there was that one scene where you're crying and you're hugging him.

[1713] Oh, do you remember that?

[1714] No. What had happened?

[1715] What had happened was?

[1716] Because you had really ruined your life.

[1717] Oh.

[1718] You were coming out of jail?

[1719] I know exactly what you're talking about.

[1720] I get out of jail.

[1721] I walk to the car.

[1722] He's standing there.

[1723] Yeah.

[1724] I now remember.

[1725] I can see where.

[1726] we were at in real life the universal lot it's like a loading dock right yeah that was a cool night yeah anytime i got to be emotional with him i really liked it yeah he was he's so good on that show it's incredible he's a great lesson if you're an actor because he never tries yeah it's so natural he just knows it'll happen and he's patient and it happens every time and he can bring it out of you Yeah.

[1727] Yeah, which is so lovely.

[1728] Ethan Hawk type.

[1729] Rare birds.

[1730] Precious stones.

[1731] Precious.

[1732] Just like, igneous.

[1733] Just like Brie here.

[1734] Cobalt blue infection.

[1735] Oh, I love Brie.

[1736] I hope she doesn't mind that I'm talking about her cobalt infection.

[1737] I think she'd love it.

[1738] I think she might, yeah.

[1739] Who wouldn't love that?

[1740] What an accomplishment.

[1741] Who have you met that has made cobalt blue igneous in their ear canal?

[1742] I'm in, I wish I had that.

[1743] It was huge and she brought it back in like a fucking plastic.

[1744] test tube.

[1745] Do you think something got lodged in there?

[1746] I'm not ruling anything else.

[1747] She was in Guatemala for three months living in like a hostel.

[1748] Who knows what she picked up?

[1749] Maybe some exotic bug burrowed into her ear and then like that that's the source of the cobalt blueness or something.

[1750] Maybe.

[1751] I wonder if she still has it.

[1752] I can see where she would.

[1753] Oh, you mean the piece.

[1754] The art installation.

[1755] Yeah, because if we could bring it to live shows, do like a little tour with it.

[1756] People could get up and take their picture with it.

[1757] Okay, can we borrow your...

[1758] Cobalt blue igneous infection.

[1759] Okay, Craig.

[1760] Craig asked if Kristen had grown taller and you said, yes, she's 511.

[1761] Okay.

[1762] Okay.

[1763] So she's not, she's not grown any taller.

[1764] She's been 5.

[1765] 1 and a half?

[1766] Two.

[1767] I think she claims 5 .1 and 3 quarters or something, but maybe...

[1768] Okay.

[1769] I think she's 5 .2.

[1770] I just think she's one inch taller than you, right?

[1771] Or is she an inch and a half taller?

[1772] You're 5.

[1773] Thank you for acknowledging how tall I actually am.

[1774] Yeah.

[1775] Maybe she's only one inch.

[1776] Maybe.

[1777] Okay.

[1778] Anyway, she's between five, one and a half and five two.

[1779] It's crazy the difference an inch makes, though.

[1780] You think she's way taller than me?

[1781] She seems a few inches taller than you.

[1782] Oh, no. I don't like that.

[1783] I think it goes the same for me and Jess.

[1784] We're really only two inches apart, which is hard to believe because he's infinitely taller than me. Doesn't he seem like he's six inches taller than me?

[1785] Are you sure you're only two?

[1786] Well, I'm 6 .3 and he's 6 .5 or 6?

[1787] I think he's taller than 6 .5.

[1788] Okay, well, let's say it's 6 .6.

[1789] Okay.

[1790] Doesn't he seem more than 3 inches taller than me?

[1791] Yeah, he seems way tall.

[1792] But 3 inches is a lot.

[1793] Like 3 inches is a 5 -4 person next to me. That is much taller.

[1794] Yeah.

[1795] Anyway, the reason I said that is because she probably appears taller.

[1796] because she's, that's how she carries herself.

[1797] I'm going to have, I have a different opinion.

[1798] So your hair is black.

[1799] So to me, your height stops where your forehead stops.

[1800] Her hair is bright blonde.

[1801] So there's like an extra inch of hair that I'm aware of her being.

[1802] Your height and my mind stops where your, if I do.

[1803] I do see it, but let me take a picture of you right now.

[1804] We'll look at that for 10 minutes on the podcast.

[1805] My hair is way taller than Kristen's, I would say.

[1806] Great, but it's not, it's invisible.

[1807] What?

[1808] Your hair is invisible.

[1809] Are you telling me my hair is invisible?

[1810] I can't believe I'm the first person telling you this.

[1811] Let's see.

[1812] Look at me. Yes.

[1813] So can you understand that like where your caramel skin stops is like where you stop?

[1814] Okay.

[1815] No. I see a lot of hair on that head.

[1816] You see how your sweater's black and your hair is black?

[1817] So to me it's all just sweater and you are the face.

[1818] Okay, we're going to have to post this picture.

[1819] Yeah, we must.

[1820] And maybe we should pose it now and say this.

[1821] I'm shocked.

[1822] This is how you view me with no hair.

[1823] No, no. You clearly have.

[1824] So much.

[1825] You do have so much.

[1826] Does it make any sense?

[1827] Do you?

[1828] Like, if someone had bright pink hair, you would be so aware of the top of their being.

[1829] I guess so.

[1830] But if they have very dark hair.

[1831] Dark, look, I'm not suggesting anything controversial here.

[1832] That dark's harder to see than light.

[1833] But not on heads.

[1834] Not hair.

[1835] Yeah, like black cars get, people pull out in front of black cars more than they pull out in front of red cars.

[1836] Oh, boy.

[1837] No, it's how you carry yourself.

[1838] I often get the compliment that I don't seem as short as I am when they find out I'm only five feet and a half inch.

[1839] Right.

[1840] And I like that compliment, but then you're giving me the opposite insult.

[1841] I like miniatures, so this is all a compliment.

[1842] Well.

[1843] I wish you were three foot four.

[1844] Oh, my God.

[1845] Yeah.

[1846] I would love it.

[1847] it if you were that size.

[1848] Okay.

[1849] I would carry you everywhere I went.

[1850] You wouldn't even have agency anymore.

[1851] Yeah, that sounds awful.

[1852] No wonder, yeah, that is why you'd like it.

[1853] Yeah.

[1854] You'd have full control.

[1855] That's right.

[1856] You'd sit on my shoulder.

[1857] I would never put you in my back pocket though.

[1858] It's out of fear of sitting on you and panicking you.

[1859] So do root canals cause Alzheimer's?

[1860] Well, like root canal, no, infections in the gums was no. No, but then it was like this.

[1861] there was a conversation about do root canals cause problems?

[1862] Okay.

[1863] Okay.

[1864] And then you said when the infections cause, uh, breaks a blood barrier and can affect your brain.

[1865] But so two things were happening.

[1866] One, there is no valid scientific evidence linking root canal treated teeth and disease elsewhere in the body.

[1867] Data showing that 97 % of cancer patients had root canal treatment has not been published anywhere.

[1868] So I think there's like something.

[1869] Like a conspiracy theory.

[1870] Yes.

[1871] There is no causality between root canals and cancer.

[1872] Just because a person has experienced both doesn't mean a cause and effect relationship exists.

[1873] Claims that root canals are not safe are based on research that's nearly 100 years old and has long been debunked.

[1874] As recently as 2013, a study published in a journal of the American Medical Association found that a patient's risk of cancer doesn't change after having a root canal treatment.

[1875] In fact, patients with multiple endodontics.

[1876] treatments had a 45 % reduced risk of cancer.

[1877] Okay.

[1878] So that sounds like they're encouraging people to get root canals.

[1879] Yeah.

[1880] So if you're on the fence about getting one, just go for it.

[1881] Put a trigger.

[1882] Science is documenting an increasing number of dietary lifestyle, environmental, and systemic causes of memory loss.

[1883] So this is now moving on to Alzheimer's.

[1884] Right.

[1885] Both research and individual experience show that natural approaches can be effective in restoring cognition, sometimes completely.

[1886] Sharping it naturally and its medical and dental advisory board have identified 10 factors to date that cause or exacerbate memory loss.

[1887] So -called silver amalgam fillings contain 50 % mercury, and that mercury can create vapor across the blood -brain barrier and destroy neurons even without contact.

[1888] Safe removal is key, along with minimizing our exposure to large steakfish, polluted air and vaccines.

[1889] Oh, let's remove that part.

[1890] Wait.

[1891] This was a dot org.

[1892] What the fuck does that mean?

[1893] I think Metallica's a dot org.

[1894] Yeah, I don't, there's no, I don't think org or com makes any difference.

[1895] No, it does.

[1896] It does.

[1897] It does.

[1898] I don't think so.

[1899] I think to get a dot org, you have to go through a lot more of a process.

[1900] You can't just, like, be a dot org, right?

[1901] Yeah, I think that's right.

[1902] That's why you are supposed to be able to trust dot org.

[1903] sites much more.

[1904] Now, dot -gov, sure.

[1905] No. Government.

[1906] That I'm less, I'm less...

[1907] Oh, wow.

[1908] You're so skeptical.

[1909] Skeptical.

[1910] Wow.

[1911] Anyway, I don't know what to do about this.

[1912] I can't trust this.

[1913] You can't read that.

[1914] No. I can't read it or trust it.

[1915] We cannot perpetuate in any fashion.

[1916] Apparently anyone can get a dot org since 2011.

[1917] Really?

[1918] Oh, it's opened up.

[1919] That's because I was in school before 2011.

[1920] And your knowledge stops there.

[1921] Yeah, I just know.

[1922] Who allowed that?

[1923] What is silly?

[1924] I know.

[1925] the reason I knew it is because I've shopped for domain names post 2011 and all the domain names I wanted I could have if I was willing to do dot org and I didn't want dot org it's just on the options of you type it and then to see if it's available and you can buy it.

[1926] My world is blown.

[1927] My mind is blown.

[1928] My world is imploding.

[1929] Oh, wow.

[1930] Because I don't like that because now I don't know what's real.

[1931] Well, that's welcome to the problem with the internet.

[1932] Who allowed this?

[1933] This, like, that's crazy.

[1934] You're really upset by this.

[1935] Well, as a fact checker, what am I supposed to do?

[1936] I know, but I've never had the association with org that you had.

[1937] So it's hard for me to feel betrayed.

[1938] You were.

[1939] You trusted everything you read on .org.

[1940] We're going to go through all the fact checks now.

[1941] We're going to have to comb through every single one.

[1942] Okay, whatever.

[1943] This next fact I can feel confident about.

[1944] He said there's new science about statins causing inflammation.

[1945] And then you said, your doctor said statins reduce inflammation.

[1946] Yeah.

[1947] So I emailed Dr. Eric Topal.

[1948] Ooh, tasty.

[1949] Yeah, I did.

[1950] So I can feel on.

[1951] Your new friend.

[1952] He is the real life .org pre -2011.

[1953] You can trust him.

[1954] He's the OG .org.

[1955] Yeah.

[1956] Okay, so what did he say?

[1957] I'll read the whole email.

[1958] Yes.

[1959] Yes.

[1960] Did you love being in correspondence with me?

[1961] Yes.

[1962] You're pretty attracted to them, right?

[1963] I love him.

[1964] Hi, Monica.

[1965] Statins reduce inflammation overall in the body, which is why they are even helpful outside of heart disease cholesterol buildup.

[1966] Works even with low cholesterol, even possibly in other unrelated conditions like multiple sclerosis.

[1967] But there is an unusual curious, still mysterious inflammation that statins induce in muscles and the pancreas, not common.

[1968] So, Dax is right.

[1969] In parentheses, again, exclamation, boys.

[1970] Oh, boy.

[1971] It sounds like crushes are going around in a circle here.

[1972] But there are a couple of exceptions, albeit rare, that are not yet explained.

[1973] Look forward to our smartphone ultrasound session someday.

[1974] Smiley face, best Eric.

[1975] Oh, God, I love them.

[1976] Hey, so that makes sense because in a very rare percentage of people, when I got prescribed a stat and they warn you about it, some people experience muscle pain.

[1977] Very low percentage.

[1978] It so happens that my Uncle Randy experienced it.

[1979] Or maybe my dad.

[1980] Either my dad or, no, I think it was my dad.

[1981] Which dad?

[1982] My dead dad.

[1983] Okay.

[1984] Yeah, my biological dead dad.

[1985] But he gave my dad muscle pain and he got off of it.

[1986] That makes now sense that that pain is coming from inflammation.

[1987] But again, very small.

[1988] Yeah, he said not common.

[1989] I think Craig was wrong is my conclusion.

[1990] Yeah, me too.

[1991] Yeah.

[1992] It's so great when a son can best his father.

[1993] Sure.

[1994] You know?

[1995] Shakespearean.

[1996] It's a complicated relationship, fathers and sons.

[1997] Always, always, even when they're fake.

[1998] Yeah.

[1999] Okay, I try to look up what was before dry roasted peanuts.

[2000] Like, what were they before they were dry roasted peanuts?

[2001] And I think they just weren't roasted.

[2002] What if they were boiled in oil?

[2003] I mean, that is something people do boiled peanuts.

[2004] Oh, but that's boiled in water now?

[2005] I just don't.

[2006] The word boil has oil in it.

[2007] So it feels like all boiling should include, well, look.

[2008] All boiling includes oiling.

[2009] No. You can't spell boiling without oiling.

[2010] You can't spell funeral without fun.

[2011] You know what I'm saying?

[2012] Yeah, I do.

[2013] I did.

[2014] That's why it's confusing.

[2015] Sure.

[2016] It should have made the word fry linked to oil and the word boiling linked to water.

[2017] So it should have been like watering and foiling.

[2018] That would make way more sense.

[2019] Foiling and watering.

[2020] Bring about eight quarts of water to a blotter.

[2021] And.

[2022] Okay.

[2023] Barry Levinson, he comes up in this episode, but I don't know that people know who he is.

[2024] So I just want to say he's a filmmaker.

[2025] Diner, the Natural.

[2026] Good morning, Vietnam.

[2027] Bugsy, Wag the Dog.

[2028] He won the Academy Award for Best Director for Rain Man. Aye.

[2029] Yeah.

[2030] Oh, my God, Rain Man. Yeah.

[2031] What a movie.

[2032] Okay, did the Bank of Boston collapse?

[2033] The Bank of Boston Corporation was formed in 1970 as a First National Boston Corporation, a reorganization followed that merged First National Bank of Boston and Old Colony Trust Company into the newly formed Massachusetts Bank, N .A., which then assumed the name First National Bank of Boston.

[2034] It was renamed the Bank of Boston N .A. in 1982.

[2035] Why are you saying N .A.?

[2036] That's what it's...

[2037] Non -alcoholic?

[2038] Not available?

[2039] What the fuck does that mean, N .A. I don't know.

[2040] National something, probably.

[2041] Okay.

[2042] And in 192, it became Bank Boston Corporation in 1997.

[2043] After the company was acquired in 1999 by another leading New England banking firm Fleet Financial Group, the newly formed company Fleet Boston Financial was acquired by Bank of America in 2004.

[2044] Wow.

[2045] Wowy.

[2046] What a journey.

[2047] Such a journey.

[2048] It was making me think of like when you have to practice taking tests and they make you practice getting rid of extraneous information that's meant to throw you off.

[2049] Like you said the word.

[2050] Like crossing out.

[2051] Like it's not pertinent to the actual.

[2052] I heard Boston and Massachusetts so many times that I got so confused.

[2053] I didn't know what you were talking about.

[2054] And then it just finally ended with Bank of America.

[2055] And I felt like, oh, we've arrived at the point.

[2056] But then I was like, what was the point?

[2057] Well, it's not.

[2058] I don't appreciate it, but...

[2059] It's no longer a bank.

[2060] Okay.

[2061] Anywho.

[2062] Oh, last thing.

[2063] So you said addicts have...

[2064] Sometimes they have an advantage in playing an emotional scene as an actor because they can sort of pull on some recent bad experience.

[2065] That morning.

[2066] Sure.

[2067] Which is true, but that's also only one method of acting is to use experience.

[2068] Like...

[2069] Sense memory.

[2070] Yeah, but a lot of acting schools aren't.

[2071] not fans of that.

[2072] They try to get you to do other things because you can't always rely on that.

[2073] And again, Kristen is not an addict and she can be very emotional at the drop of a half.

[2074] Yeah.

[2075] But she's also very emotional, period.

[2076] Yeah, that's true.

[2077] I just want people to get nervous who are like young actors who aren't addicts.

[2078] Like, that's not the only way.

[2079] Yeah.

[2080] And again, I'm not Brad Pitt.

[2081] Don't get me wrong.

[2082] There's bigger things to strive to be.

[2083] But if you're a young, actor in the worst case scenario is you end up me because you're sober that's okay that make any sense no what i'm almost 15 years sober yeah in my career is plenty good enough that's my point well like you can do just fine not being not being an addict oh yeah yes that's my that was my point too yeah same point but not unlike the bank description many ways to get there lots of convoluted ways well look You're wearing one of our new pieces of merch Which is miniature mouse maximum facts And Rob got a cartoon artist to do miniature mouse It's so cute I can't stand it It should be on the site by now Oh it is Not right the second but by the time it's coming Oh okay so Should be is a tricky It will be on the site on Monday Okay These are available although they don't We don't have this in a sweatshirt I got the only limited edition sweatshirt.

[2084] As I have a brick shithouse hoodie.

[2085] Yeah.

[2086] So braddy.

[2087] I know.

[2088] Exclusive.

[2089] Maybe we should sell your shirt for like $11 ,000.

[2090] And it'll come with fat shrile juice on it.

[2091] Well, look, I'm saying that our mugs come with DNA.

[2092] What do you think is happening with my breath?

[2093] There's no juice.

[2094] It's been a long time since I knew about fat cheese, okay?

[2095] I've been out of the game for a long time.

[2096] Don't ever refer to juice.

[2097] Fatsy juice.

[2098] Fatsy juice?

[2099] Well, you could call it.

[2100] Well, but what about the milk produced by fatchies?

[2101] If you did, could we call that fatchy juice?

[2102] Like, baby wants more fatchy juice.

[2103] Baby's crying.

[2104] I guess.

[2105] What would you prefer it was called?

[2106] Fatsy milk.

[2107] Yeah.

[2108] Fat natural milk.

[2109] Yeah.

[2110] We should come out with an actual dairy line called fat natural milk.

[2111] Yeah.

[2112] Oh, guys would be standing in line to get some of that fat natural milk.

[2113] milk.

[2114] I love you, Maximum Mouse, Emmy nominated Maximum Mouse.

[2115] Love you, Wobby Wob, who wrote a check.

[2116] His ass, better cash by Monday.

[2117] And love you, armchairs.

[2118] Bye.

[2119] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2120] You can listen to every episode of Armchair expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2121] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.