#611 - Josh McDermitt

[0] Get it, dude.

[1] Get it.

[2] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[3] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[4] Once upon a time, we were in Phoenix, Arizona, and there was like an open mic competition.

[5] Was that what it was?

[6] No, I think it was a contest for the Las Vegas Comedy Festival.

[7] Ah, it was a Las Vegas Comedy Festival contest.

[8] And one young man stood out and wound up working with us that weekend.

[9] this guy, Josh McDermott, who's on the fucking Walking Dead now.

[10] Yeah, man. How's that happen?

[11] I don't know, man. I was just talking to Brian about it.

[12] Like, I'm, I've hit the jackpot.

[13] Dude, you got a lottery ticket.

[14] You get the Willie Wonka Golden ticket.

[15] You're on one of the greatest shows ever.

[16] It was my favorite show before I came in.

[17] So literally, like, I hit the fan lottery.

[18] And I'm just like, I don't know, man. It's weird.

[19] It's really surreal.

[20] To think about, like, because that show, I don't know, man. That show in Phoenix that we did.

[21] Like, you were doing a weekend there, and then they asked the audience after your show to stick around so that they could do this little, it was like a contest or some sort of showcase to select someone to go to this festival.

[22] And they put me last, and the first comic goes up and half of your crowd, like, most of your crowd stuck around, half the crowd walks after the first comic.

[23] And I was like, oh, shit, man. And I'm sitting in the back next to you, and I hadn't met you.

[24] I mean, I met you, like, as I worked at that radio station, but, like, you know, we didn't know each other.

[25] you're just eating your meal and you're watching this and I'm looking at you and you're not laughing at anybody because it wasn't funny and I was like oh this sucks man like Rogan's just going to be like man these guys fucking suck like he's going to talk trash about us or whatever more and more people keep leaving as the show's going on to the point it's like a 500 seat theater and there's like 30 people left by the time I get up and I didn't give a shit at that point and literally I heard you laughing the loudest in the back at my set and I'm like well that's a victory I guess.

[26] And then I got to go to the festival and that was fun and everything.

[27] But like you literally, you asked me, you're like, hey, you know, you want to open for me the rest of the weekend.

[28] And that just kind of set me on this path to come to L .A. and pursue acting and to continue to do stand -up and all that.

[29] Dude.

[30] Like, I don't know how much you realize, like, how important you've been to me, man. Seriously.

[31] That's ridiculous.

[32] Like, I wouldn't be here.

[33] I literally wouldn't be here.

[34] Wow.

[35] Well, that's amazing.

[36] Because you're fucking fantastic on that show, dude.

[37] So it was all meant to be.

[38] Thank you.

[39] It's just one of those things.

[40] I don't believe in fate, but if I did believe in fate, there's plenty of evidence.

[41] There's plenty of evidence, yeah.

[42] And if there's a fucking Bill Hicks biopic, dude, you're playing them.

[43] You're not the first person to tell me that.

[44] Jesus Christ.

[45] Russell Crowe's got the rights to some, like, Bill's story or something.

[46] Yeah, well, they'll probably ruin it.

[47] It's probably not something you want to be involved with anyway.

[48] It seems like every time they do a story about a guy, that it was a real person, they'd just, butchered the reality and fuck with it and weren't they doing something with Kinnison a while ago?

[49] Supposedly.

[50] Yeah.

[51] I saw some trailer come out with some guy.

[52] I don't remember who he, like I recognize him from different movies, but like he was on stage just being Sam and I was like, oh my God, this is amazing.

[53] But that was like five years ago and I hadn't heard anything about that.

[54] I haven't seen that.

[55] I never saw a trailer.

[56] I know who it was.

[57] It was in that movie Take Me Home Tonight with Tofer Grace.

[58] He played one of the guy like his friend in it.

[59] Dan.

[60] Josh Guy.

[61] He was a John.

[62] He was a John.

[63] Josh Gad type.

[64] Says Josh God to play this was a while dude this was a while ago swapped in and out because the project's probably been on the shelf for so long yeah they'll fuck it up they'll make him something that they always do that because they're doing that prior movie too aren't they they'll fuck that up too I think that already came out yeah the prior movie no no you're thinking in a Jimmy Hendricks movie that came out that was dog shit they've ruined them man I mean you know there's this guy Mark Schull and he was the Olympic wrestler that his brother, Dave Schultz, got killed by that guy, John DuPont, that crazy millionaire, billionaire guy in Connecticut.

[65] They fucked that up, man. I went to see that movie, and, you know, he was, he, he's, Mark Schultz made a bunch of tweets about it, about how pissed off he was, about the, they fucked with his story, they fucked with his timeline, they fucked with how much success he actually had as a wrestler before he went to, he was already an Olympic gold medalist and a world champion.

[66] it out like he was struggling and sure they added a bunch of weird gay shit they they changed the timeline of when he fought in the UFC and the UFC fought a white guy instead of a black guy oh geez they changed the timeline of the UFC they made the UFC in 1987 didn't even exist until 1993 like Hollywood is filled with assholes right just filled with assholes that they can alter reality we're talking about a real live story a guy's real fucking story yeah Yeah, they do seem to screw it up a lot, but I don't really know, is there anyone that they've done?

[67] Has there been a movie that we kind of go, oh, yeah, that's pretty great.

[68] Never.

[69] Lenny.

[70] Dustin Hoffman played Lenny Bruce, and he fucking nailed it.

[71] And it was a really good movie.

[72] Like, if you watch that movie, Lenny, you really feel like you kind of understand what Lenny Bruce was going through.

[73] This is back when he was being tried for censorship.

[74] He would go in front of these courts, and they would make, they would.

[75] do his act.

[76] They would read his act out loud, like the words that he said and convict him for these profanity charges.

[77] I mean, that guy really fucking paved the path.

[78] If it wasn't for him, you and I wouldn't be here.

[79] I mean, if it wasn't for the guys that, like him and George Carlin, the guys that actually went to jail for saying words that we say on a regular basis.

[80] Right.

[81] It was 50 fucking years ago.

[82] Wasn't that long ago?

[83] I know.

[84] It's crazy if you really stop and think about it.

[85] It's insanity, man. You see, the preview for the new NWA movie, that looks pretty legit.

[86] I mean, it's a great trailer.

[87] That's a documentary, isn't it?

[88] No, no, no, it's actually a, it's just about them growing up.

[89] Oh, it's like a biopic?

[90] Yeah, it's kind of like, and they have a guy that looks kind of like Ice Cube, and it kind, I mean, he sounds just like Ice Cube.

[91] It's really neat.

[92] Who's in it?

[93] A bunch of no names, mostly.

[94] But I guess that's why the whole thing happened with that big guy, TMZ.

[95] Josh McDermott, tweeting while he's on a fucking podcast, can't do it.

[96] put it down i'm trying i'm trying to find that guy which guy here he already found it here he found it put the picture up on the human here yeah yeah this isn't it how dare you you were making such a big deal over there there yeah this what is the screen test dan fowgler screen test tony winter is that who the guy is well that's a screen test hold on stop that's a screen test that's not a trailer yeah i didn't i didn't know it was a screen test when i watched it it did i mean i would have known if it said screen test but wherever uh yeah i mean that might not be him i mean either way they'll ruin it probably but if they do a bill hicks one and they're going to ruin it and give you a lot of money i say if we're going to ruin it i'd rather it be me ruining it than someone else you know let's let's have some respect for the guy dude that character you play in the walking dead is very unusual that's a weird character like a strange sort of pseudo autistic really intelligent but fucked up dude involved in like one of the like sannie the show's not even about the monsters anymore no it's about the humans and and their interactions with each other and just them surviving you know the um the apocalypse i mean the biggest threat isn't yeah isn't the zombies it's you know the guy with the eye patch the governor or it's like someone else going like you got food and water i want that yeah you know that's what's really scary but this character you know it's kind of funny when I hear people like really simplify him and go he's just weird and I'm like okay it's a lot more than that there's a lot more to him he's very complex and um you know it's fun to play a different character on in this world where like you know obviously you got guys like you know darrell or mishone who are just like epic badasses and obviously those people are probably going to rise to the top in this world you know just people who are physically fit and can just you know do whatever they have to do to survive this guy is like completely opposite and that's what becomes fun about playing him is that you know you just wouldn't expect that i think i have a theory that if most be if the apocalypse have it most people would be more like eugene right they would like darrell yeah most likely did you know the the whole character arc like what was going to happen to him like i mean i don't want to give away too much if you if you're one of those people that binge watches stop now because we're probably going to talk too much about the show we'll fuck it up for you spoiler alert i um well obviously the show is based on a comic so you know the information is out there from there but on the show they like to do they like to deviate from the storylines on the comics.

[97] How much do they deviate?

[98] I mean they'll just create brand new storylines for people again if you haven't watched this last weekend's episode there was a major character death but his death he dies in the comics but the death on the show was not how they did it in the comics.

[99] There was another character that that guy's death was this guy from last weekend's death in the comics and it's so it just gets mixed around um but with uh so i knew that you know when i took the job i knew uh the big reveals that my character would have and this is weird to be talking about it in vague terms i feel like if you haven't seen it by now yeah fuck you if you haven't seen it by now so we find out it was so we find out june was lying about knowing the cure but the moment i because i came out in season four i knew that um he was lying the whole time Oh, okay.

[100] But, you know, I don't think some of the other actors knew, you know, because they don't read the comics.

[101] They don't really tell us what's going on with other people's storylines.

[102] Right.

[103] And you don't know necessarily whether they're going to stick with that storyline that's in the comic or whether they're going to deviate.

[104] Right.

[105] And so that's where, like, you know, I knew that I was lying and that once I, once that was revealed, like, all bets are off.

[106] Like, I don't know how much longer I have.

[107] Right.

[108] You know, how much long I'll be on the show because they like to kill off their main characters.

[109] So I'm just like, oh shit, all right But either way, man This is gonna launch you dude I mean you're you're on one of the best shows Ever Dude It is insane It's epic It's so good I watched last nights And I was squeezing my wife's hand While the show I watched it I didn't you know This is the week's episode I didn't watch until last night I'm just like Like oh my hand Like on my hand I'm like You get fucking crazy It's such a good show And it wasn't for a while It was really good in the beginning and then it was like a little dip where I was like, oh, don't go Dexter on me, you fucks.

[110] Don't fail.

[111] But then it pulled out like a phoenix rose from the ashes even greater than before.

[112] I know, man. It's insanity because like, so the guy who runs our show now, Scott Gimple, he, and I don't really pay attention to who writes episodes.

[113] Like I'm just like, oh, it's my favorite episode, but I'm not like looking up who wrote it.

[114] So I started going back and looking at my favorite episodes, and I found out who wrote it, and it was Scott Gimple.

[115] So my favorite episodes from Cs, season three was that episode clear where they're in that dude's apartment and he's got all the writing on the wall and like he's gone absolutely crazy.

[116] Do you remember this guy?

[117] Yeah.

[118] And so Sky Campbell wrote that episode.

[119] I was like, oh, this is awesome.

[120] It's one of my favorite episodes.

[121] And then the other favorite episode of mine was when Sophia, the little girl, came out of the barn and she was a zombie and they had to kill her.

[122] And it's like, he wrote that episode.

[123] And I'm like, okay, so this guy running the show now has written my favorite episodes all along.

[124] And it's like, he's like the best guy to be running.

[125] the show because you're right i think you know it did kind of take a dip it was still a good show but it's just like it just kind of like plateaued for a moment this is just me observing as a fan you know what it felt like it felt like a regular show it's like it was so extraordinary in the beginning like the character arc between rick and his buddy who was banging his wife because they thought rick was dead like all that crazy shit it was so much nutty tension it's just like it left you in this weird space while you're watching it where you didn't know what to And then the zombies were new at that point.

[126] And it was so much going on.

[127] It was like, whoa.

[128] Every time it would fade the black at the end of the episode, you'd be like, fuck.

[129] You know, you just have to catch your breath.

[130] And then it got to be like a lazy Hollywood show.

[131] And I was like, what happened?

[132] Did some fuckhead producer weasel his way into a position of power and start manipulating shit and trying to turn into another episode of Coach or something like that?

[133] Yeah.

[134] You know, it's something else.

[135] It felt like something happened.

[136] that like it just became like a regular show i don't know the specifics but um frank darabant you know shaw shank redemption is a great hollywood screenwriter and director developed the show from the comics and then he he was in charge of it the first two seasons but then he left after the second season and so it's about the third season that they kind of went over some rocky terrain like you know they did there were some great episodes my favorite episode is in season three but they just didn't really hit it was very inconsistent and so then when scott gable took over season four it just took right off took right off it's amazing now god damn it's a good show he's you know because i think just as when i'm watching it as a fan i would it would kind of get boring at times where i'd be like okay like they run out of supplies and they're gonna go on a run and oh zombie pops out kill it and then you know rinse repeat whatever so but now they're like really developing the characters and like bringing them you know we're learning so much more about them it's like freaking great well it's make it makes me nervous every time there's a new scene it's like it's it's so good right now every time there's a new scene like when they entered into that community where uh the the the kid who played chris rock grew up in yeah and as soon as you enter in the community i'm like oh fuck yeah you know like what's happening here like you fucking pulse starts racing you start getting sweaty hands especially when they're like a little nonchalant about it like they're just coming in just maybe check around you're like oh no you gotta be looking everywhere at this point it's so good man and when he got bit like you see just a shadow behind him just a brief shadow yeah before it comes up it's like it's not enough that you you know you see it clearly coming it's like oh fuck what is that what is that is that is that the kid that he's with or is that someone else right who's the fucking shadow man who's the fucking shot ah he's getting bit shit fuck the great thing about that bite was that it happened like 20 minutes into the episode as opposed to like sometimes they'll wait till the very end and it's like oh no and then they just and then the episode ends like he gets bit he gets bit and then he has these you know hallucinogenic dreams and all this about these you know past characters are coming back and all this stuff I mean it was like a very Robert Kirkman the guy who created the comics was saying like it's going to be a fan favorite episode and it's going to be a fan hated episode because it's like it's a very poetic type of episode that they wrote I really love that dude too I'm going to miss him.

[137] He's the best.

[138] Dude, he's so funny, man. Is he?

[139] You got to get him in here.

[140] He's like the funniest guy.

[141] He's very subtle.

[142] And then you just get him on a roll and he's just like large and gregarious.

[143] Like he mispronounces everything.

[144] And I don't know if he's doing it as a bit.

[145] Like Joey Diaz.

[146] Like he goes.

[147] So there was some, I guess he went to like University of Virginia or something and there are some, some school in Virginia.

[148] And they're like doing away with SAT scores.

[149] They're only going to focus on the G. PA now, and then he retweets it and puts at the front, oh, hell yeah, my alma MARTA.

[150] Marta, M -A -R -D -A.

[151] You don't know if he's, like, kidding or not, but we were over at the table where they keep all the food one day when we were filming, and he's just going, yeah, yeah, I go, oh, you see something you like?

[152] He's like, yeah, I'm going to eat me some beef jersey.

[153] And I just look at it.

[154] I don't know.

[155] I don't laugh.

[156] I'm like, is he just, like, dumb, or is he doing this on purpose?

[157] Like, he's the funniest guy.

[158] He's so funny.

[159] I'll hook it up.

[160] I'll get him in here.

[161] He's great.

[162] Because he's off doing another show now, I guess.

[163] Yeah, it's, I mean, it's got to be weird when you're on, like, an amazing show, and then all of a sudden you're dead.

[164] It ends.

[165] Yeah.

[166] It ends for you, and you sit back, and you're watching it as it's still on television.

[167] You're watching on the guys you worked with.

[168] You know, and occasionally, they bring you back for some dream sequence.

[169] And you're thinking, you know, it's very cliche to say, but it's so real, like, we're just a major, like a big family there.

[170] You know, because we're in the woods in Georgia.

[171] It's the worst time of year to be there.

[172] It's hot and humid.

[173] Fighting off ticks and bugs and these things called chiggers that, like, burrow into your skin and everything.

[174] And then you're just out there, like, with your friends and family.

[175] Yeah.

[176] And it's great.

[177] And all of a sudden, now you die and you can't come to work anymore.

[178] You can't come to this horrible environment anymore.

[179] and you just want it so bad, but, you know, we'd go around and we do all these, like, Comic -Con conventions and stuff, which is, like, dude, that is trippy.

[180] But, like, we get to hang out then and everything.

[181] So you never really fully, you know, disappear.

[182] That dude who was Rick's buddy, what was his name?

[183] Shane?

[184] Shane, yeah.

[185] That guy is in a lot of shit.

[186] Like, he's in a lot of movies.

[187] He's really good.

[188] He's balloon up.

[189] He's really good.

[190] Did you see Fury?

[191] No. Fury was great.

[192] I don't know if he was based on a true story.

[193] you're not at the Brad Pitt tank movie but John Bernthal that's the character the actor's name phenomenal like I was surprised he didn't get nominated for an Oscar he was great in the Wolf of Wall Street too oh yeah yeah he's really good he's uh he's like a ex -boxer or something so like everything he ever does is very physical all his roles he wants to just be I mean he treats it like he's in the boxing ring didn't he get in trouble for beating somebody up something happened yeah I think um he has pit bulls So I think he rescues pit bulls and then, you know, he lives in L .A. And some douchebag was complaining about his pit bulls or whatever.

[194] And then his pit bulls started getting a little feisty and angry.

[195] And then I think I think he just popped him in the face.

[196] Oh, how rude.

[197] Like a gentleman.

[198] I don't know.

[199] There's probably stories about it online.

[200] But I think the guy was just like, oh, pit bulls, whatever?

[201] Fuck you.

[202] Boom.

[203] Wow.

[204] Like one of those things.

[205] But he's a great guy.

[206] He's really cool.

[207] Yeah, he's a really good actor too.

[208] Yeah.

[209] That whole arc, that story arc between.

[210] him and Rick was to suck.

[211] Oh, God.

[212] I've done just as many episodes as him.

[213] Now, granted, like, he was at the forefront with, like, you know, all his, with the storylines and stuff, but I've done just as many episodes, but, like, he is just, like, at this other level, I can't ever compare with, you know?

[214] What do you mean?

[215] Well, he, I mean, he's just, like, it was such an iconic character in this huge storyline within that show.

[216] So the first season was only six episodes.

[217] And then I did four episodes, my first season.

[218] so like and then he dies the next season and i did just as many episodes as him does that make sense like together we've done the same amount of episodes but he's just like at this other level in terms of like how people remember him and like the character and all that that's such a classic scenario too like coveting thy neighbor's wife you know that's like that's the big thing with with men like the one of the men's biggest fear is that their best friend winds up fucking their girlfriend yeah i mean that is a big or their wife you know i mean that is a big or their wife or the mother of their children you know i mean and becomes the father to their son you know i mean there's that's like and he wanted to take over and he tried to kill him i mean that whole that whole thing was like so intense it's such a crazy dynamic in the kid yeah the kid's amazing the kid's going to to Shane for advice you know and it's like rick's getting pissed i mean it was awesome it was it was intense it was intense and it brought you into this this changing dynamic of the zombies not being the problem the people being the problem yeah and how the people react when they have to formulate their own rules.

[219] You know, I mean, everybody that says, like, preppers, everybody says, I'm ready.

[220] You know, I got my fucking cans.

[221] Like, you ain't ready for shit, dude.

[222] Because it ain't about that.

[223] No. It's about how you react to all these thinking animals that are trying to get what you have now because they're starving to death.

[224] Right.

[225] Because that's what the fuck happens when the, if the apocalypse happens, like, if the big one hits, you want to be right where it hits.

[226] You want the earth to open up, suck you in, and close shut.

[227] Don't die of starvation Don't die because people are eating you In terminus You don't want to be the guy Who gets baseball batted And then gets your fucking throat cut Into that trough You know You want to be the guy Who the meteor hits Right on your face Yeah You know The meteor that wipes out the power grid You want it to land right in your head You know what I mean really If you're gonna go Fuck Fuck going a year later Or 10 years later Well, I mean, if you think about it, I mean, obviously my character was saying that he had a cure and everything.

[228] There's probably going to be no cure.

[229] If everything starts getting overrun at that point, they're not going to figure out how to reverse it or how to fix it.

[230] So, yeah, you want to go first.

[231] Well, not only that, not only is there no cure, but everyone's infected.

[232] Yeah.

[233] That's what's the most fucked up thing when you find out that everyone who dies becomes a zombie.

[234] Like when Shane died and they became a zombie, and you're like, okay, this is nuts.

[235] Like, there's no way out.

[236] Like your way out is gone Because everyone's a fucking zombie So if you make a kid And the kid is just born into your family And no one That kid dies, it's a fucking zombie Right Everyone's a zombie somehow Somehow I don't know if that Does that ever get explained?

[237] Don't tell me No I don't think there's I don't think they're just gonna They don't have time to sit around And figure that out I think it's like We gotta find a can of beans man We gotta find some fish Wait now guys hold on We need to talk about this.

[238] Yeah, it's a weird fucking weird scenario.

[239] The idea of being the last remaining survivors.

[240] Yeah.

[241] And like, did you see the road?

[242] Who was that?

[243] That was that very bleak, post -apocalyptic movie with, what the fuck is that dude's name?

[244] Vitor Morgensen.

[245] What's his name?

[246] Vigo Morgensen.

[247] I feel like I did.

[248] I watched it for five minutes until he was teaching his son how to shoot himself in the mouth.

[249] this is what you do if it's all over you stick through I'm like we're good I don't need to see this shit I just don't I just don't need to see this I mean what am I going to get out of this I'm going to feel depressed there's not even any monsters at least the walking dead gives me monsters yeah right well the thing the cool thing about the walking dead too is they're always trying to maintain some sort of humanity some sort of like you know civility yeah some rules and everything and they're constantly like even this last week's episode they're just like yeah I've given up screw it like i wanted to kill that person not because of what they did but just fuck them you know and you're like oh geez like it's all falling away and uh that's kind of where the the season's going it's just going to get crazier i wasn't a big fan of that hospital the chick wearing makeup and all that i'm like come on get the fuck out of here with all this that was i thought that was a little ridiculous like she's way too groomed she's on her fucking bicycle every day working out everyone's scared to her like i didn't buy that at all i felt like that chick would have lasted about an hour where somebody punched her in the face, took her gun, shot her in the head, fucked her dead body, threw her off the top of the roof.

[250] Like, she's evil.

[251] Get out of here, you fucking crazy lipstick wearing a cunt.

[252] There's a few guys that didn't, the guy with the eye patch.

[253] Get the fuck out of here.

[254] That guy's a dead...

[255] He's dead.

[256] He's not going to live.

[257] You can't even see shit that's coming from the right side, dude.

[258] You're not going to survive.

[259] That is not...

[260] You're not running anything.

[261] Okay?

[262] I don't buy it.

[263] Oh, he's extra evil.

[264] He doesn't even have superpowers.

[265] hours like how's that guy going to run shit he's manipulative how how he's not even manipulative he's not even demonstrably manipulative you know it's like what is he doing just fucking it's weak it's weak weak game he's got a weak cult game damn it stand on my left i can't see you god man yeah there was like you know there was a few bad guys in a few moments that i just thought were ridiculous but it's the overall quality of the show that just it keeps it keeps surprising you and it keeps drawing you in and it just keeps making you think like what would you do if you were stuck in that kind of a scenario would you would you just climb to the highest building and just close your eyes and fucking jump off like what would you do yeah i don't know i would i would try and survive and i would probably be one of the first to go is what i would do personally i would try i'd be like okay i got this and then i'd get bit like what about you exactly what i would do you don't even watch the show man i would hide and sleep no i i started watching it but i got to the the season three and i stopped and i just haven't gone back but i've read the comics uh a lot most of them oh wow uh which uh i i enjoy and in in looking at the comics there's there should be like what 11 or 12 seasons up to already written dude they got so many storylines it's not even well it's a it's a money machine yeah i mean it's it makes so much It's so good.

[266] One of the things is I watch it on the, on Apple TV, which is the only way to watch it.

[267] Watching it on AMC, it's like, you just want to fucking drive to wherever the people are who put the commercials in and go, hey, fucking stop.

[268] Fucking stop.

[269] Come on, man. This is not cool.

[270] You got a Hardee's commercial or a fucking, you know, Carl's Jr. jammed in the middle of murder and mayhem.

[271] All of a sudden, people are driving the newest Toyota truck.

[272] We're having a party.

[273] Wee, we!

[274] It's fucking so distracting and so uncomfortable.

[275] When you realize that they're shoving in 18 minutes of fucking commercials in a one -hour show, that's obscene.

[276] Yeah, it's rough.

[277] It's obscene.

[278] It really is obscene.

[279] But when you watch it on iTunes, it's fucking awesome.

[280] Because you get the whole show, no interruptions.

[281] I tried watching it one time.

[282] And we paused it and we just left the room.

[283] We go, let's just fucking come back in an hour and fast forward through this bullshit.

[284] like we try to just watch the commercials for a while and you realize like what an assault that shit is on your attention span it's just it's an assault on your your reality like you why do you want me to dip in and out of this world like that yeah it fucks up the whole viewing aspect of the show well i i mean i want to validate your opinion there but daddy's got to get paid you're going to be killed off next season yeah i love the commercials man the commercials are amazing I wish it was half an hour of them.

[285] Joe, would you rather prefer, like, commercials built into the show?

[286] Like, they're driving a Toyota car instead of having a Toyota commercial?

[287] It would have to, the only way, it would have to be non -intrusive.

[288] And there's no way that it would work if it was non -intrusive.

[289] You know, if you see some people that are fucking starving to death and they find a can of Coke and they drink it and they're sharing it back and forth, it's not going to make you want to go out and buy a Coke.

[290] You know, that Coke is fucking warm.

[291] It's Georgia.

[292] you know they're finding it in someone's garage covered in fucking bodies three years expired yeah i mean it's just it wouldn't work and it then when they do do that they do it like this hey man do you think we're going to get out of here yeah they're holding it up i don't know with this fucking good coke i'll tell you what you know i mean there's no way well they had did y 'all ever see like the honest trailers those that you youtube channel where they do honest trailers of movies and TV shows and they did one for the Walking Dead where they just like pick it apart.

[293] It's hilarious.

[294] But one of the things they were talking about was like they were driving around like a Hyundai Tucson for a while.

[295] And it was always like this is the apocalypse or everything's filthy.

[296] There's like a gross film on things but the Hyundai Tucson was like immaculate.

[297] Like they're just cruising through the woods and this thing and like me personally I never thought about it.

[298] I was never like oh I should go buy a Tucson or something but not until I saw that trailer.

[299] I was like oh I guess there was product placement you know.

[300] It had to be.

[301] if they're making it clean.

[302] There was one episode I remember where we were talking about it.

[303] We're like, why are these cars clean?

[304] I mean, even when it rains, it doesn't really clean your car that good.

[305] Right.

[306] I mean, you have to fucking have a torrential downpour to do a half -ass job of clean your car.

[307] Because bird shit, dirt, it just kind of gets, like, moved around on it.

[308] Right.

[309] You know.

[310] Well, people still have to find their place in the apocalypse.

[311] And maybe some people are like, hey, man, I'm just here to wash cars.

[312] Listen, we're alive.

[313] We got cars.

[314] Let's polish them up.

[315] Let me wash them.

[316] Yeah, I don't think that there's going to be ever a show like that that has product placement as opposed to advertising.

[317] But I think it's probably likely in other shows.

[318] I mean, you know they do that when you watch Iron Man, you see him driving an Audi.

[319] You know, the Audi paid to get that fucking car in the movie.

[320] I mean, it's appropriate for him.

[321] It doesn't stick out like a sore -throm.

[322] He's driving this cool car.

[323] He's a rich dude.

[324] It all makes sense.

[325] but well you look at something like madman too which is like centered on the world of advertising but i think the catch 22 with that is like they can't really do any current you know advertising they're doing all like old like lucky strike cigarettes and this and that they're just like well i don't think those are around anymore are they you know oh yeah are they around but it's just you know everything they do is like from the 60s and whatnot so unless it's like general electric which is so vague right you know so like people are like yeah that's right General Electric, I should go by a stove.

[326] I've never watched that show.

[327] Is that a good show?

[328] Really?

[329] Madman?

[330] It's good, but it's a little slow.

[331] I think it's more geared towards women, maybe, because it's very drama, kind of.

[332] It's not that guy -ish.

[333] Like, I just watched it because my girlfriend wanted to watch it, and that's the only reason I watched it.

[334] And I kind of got addicted to it, kind of like, in a Gilmore Girls kind of way, where you're like, oh, I know all the characters, so it's still fun to watch.

[335] And a Gilmore Girls kind of way.

[336] Yeah, I had to watch.

[337] watched all the Gilmore girls because of the girl I was dating and I got into it.

[338] It was a great show.

[339] The girl from the Gilmore Girls.

[340] You're 40 years old, man. Lauren from the Gilmore Girls, she was on a season of news radio.

[341] Yeah, she's right.

[342] Yeah, yeah, I worked with it.

[343] She's very cool.

[344] She's a fun chick.

[345] Mad Men was a good show.

[346] I guess it's coming back for their final season.

[347] I did a couple episodes of that and like it was kind of neat to like be in that world and everything.

[348] But it was one of those shows where like you kind of hated a bunch of the characters at first.

[349] And then and you like some others and then like by season three that reversed the people you liked and you now hated and the people you hate you know liked and they kind of went through these crazy evolutions and you know i think kind of like any show i mean it has its moments where you're like okay maybe i'll skip this episode it's kind of boring me or whatever but um you know for the most part it was pretty interesting the um the girl the very voluptuous redheaded girl that's like the big deal in that show oh christina hendrix a girl who has body fat you know but it's still sexy She's a slut in the show, too.

[350] How dare she?

[351] Is she?

[352] Pretty slow.

[353] Yeah, I think she's...

[354] A little, a bit promiscuous.

[355] A bit, yeah.

[356] That's not slut shame in the 50s, Brian.

[357] She's also...

[358] She's a very...

[359] She's a strong character, though.

[360] She's a strong woman, you know, but she...

[361] I mean, they passed her around, kind of...

[362] She's got to be strong, carrying around all that weight.

[363] Right.

[364] It's a big girl.

[365] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[366] Those breasticles.

[367] You've got to have some fucking backbone.

[368] Have you seen her naked photos?

[369] No. But, I mean, for, I think for women, like, to have...

[370] have breasts that are that large, it's probably really, I know it gets really difficult on your back.

[371] I dated a girl who had a breast reduction because her boobs are so big.

[372] She was born, which is like with a really large breasts, and her back always hurt.

[373] And then she got her breast reduced, and she was like, it's like the world took a weight off her shoulders.

[374] You don't think about it like that, but if you have like double e tits, I mean, those are fucking probably like 20 pounds or something.

[375] Yeah.

[376] You're carrying around a lot of goddamn meat.

[377] That's a lot.

[378] I saw her in person at a table reading.

[379] And her boobs weren't as big as they appear to be on TV or in pictures and stuff.

[380] So I think she just kind of looked like a normal person.

[381] But they just maybe push them up a bit.

[382] You know what I mean?

[383] Oh, well, maybe they're CGI or spread her out a little.

[384] But I've seen her in, like, photos.

[385] She looks very voluptuous.

[386] But sexy.

[387] Like, she doesn't look, she's not like, she doesn't look like, listen, bitch, you know, you got to get off that fucking craft service table.

[388] Right.

[389] It doesn't look like that.

[390] She looks like a normal, healthy.

[391] curvy girl.

[392] Yeah, she just looks normal in real life.

[393] We don't have to talk about this chick's body.

[394] Imagine if you're her, listen to this.

[395] I love how she's like the number one photoshopped girl on the internet.

[396] There's like thousands of photos because there's so many fans that are in love with her boobs, so they overdo it.

[397] Yeah, but you're showing porn, dummy.

[398] Huh?

[399] There's porn in there.

[400] Oh, yeah, but I mean, I'm talking about like...

[401] Don't pull that up.

[402] No, I'm just showing it to you.

[403] Yeah, I'm just showing it to you.

[404] But she was a part of the fapiting or the whatever it was called.

[405] The fapening?

[406] Yeah, where people...

[407] Oh, where they got the cloud photos?

[408] Yeah.

[409] People in their goddamn cloud photos.

[410] So she had a lot of naked ones?

[411] I think she had three, if I remember.

[412] Good for her.

[413] Yeah.

[414] Let it shine, girl.

[415] That show...

[416] Those shows about alternative times are always odd, too.

[417] You know, those shows that they're doing, like, from the 1950s or the 1960s.

[418] Yeah.

[419] Period piece shows are always very strange.

[420] I think you've got to have someone who's, like, autistic running that show.

[421] You know, someone who just, like, can consume all the knowledge from within that time, that era, so they can just, like, you know, do that.

[422] Because for me, if I were, like, writing on a show that took place in the 60s, I would be putting in, and then he grabbed his iPhone or what it.

[423] Like, I wouldn't be thinking.

[424] I'm like, oh, God, we're in the 60s.

[425] Like, you just need, like, this super nerd who just knows everything about the 60s, and that's it.

[426] Well, that's what we were talking about with that movie Foxcatcher, that they fuck with timelines.

[427] Like, when you're doing something that's historical, it's very important that you stick to the timeline.

[428] Because otherwise, why are you even doing an historical movie?

[429] Right.

[430] Just do a movie that's completely fictional that's, like, influenced by or inspired by a true story.

[431] You're trying to do an actual real story, though.

[432] Yeah.

[433] That whole story was messed up, though.

[434] I mean, the true actual story, the Foxcatcher thing.

[435] Oh, beyond.

[436] Good grief.

[437] Like, I, and Mark Ruffalo was great in it.

[438] Amazing.

[439] And then, and I even...

[440] How about Steve Carell?

[441] Steve Carell was awesome.

[442] Didn't even seem like the same guy.

[443] No, not at all.

[444] You know, and he played that role so perfect, the role of this eccentric, nutty, like, really fucked up, Cokehead, multi -millionaire, billionaire, whatever he was.

[445] He played it so well.

[446] Like, you really believe that he was this guy with no character that had been handed everything to him in his life, and he just didn't understand.

[447] Yeah.

[448] Oh, that was a good movie.

[449] And Channing Tatum, I mean, I'm not, like, the biggest fan of his movies.

[450] I don't like him because my wife likes him.

[451] That's it.

[452] She thinks he's good -looking, and she wishes I had his body.

[453] There you go.

[454] No, he, you know, I don't know.

[455] I'm just not like Magic Mike.

[456] I just was like...

[457] Wasn't your favorite movie?

[458] No. But they were naked in dancing.

[459] I don't get it.

[460] I don't understand you.

[461] But he was great in Foxcatcher.

[462] He was really good.

[463] He was just walking around.

[464] He looked like a giant ape.

[465] Yeah, he stuck his lower jaw out.

[466] Yeah.

[467] Because that's what, like, when you look at Mark Schultz in real life, he has this very prominent, you know, fucking ape -like giant.

[468] Jaw.

[469] Mark Schultz was a beast, dude.

[470] It was really weird the way they did the movie, because they could have easily had him fight the guy that he fought in the UFC in the movie, but instead they made up some guy, made him fight a white guy.

[471] It was really weird.

[472] He fought Gary Goodrich.

[473] It happened in 1996.

[474] It's a fucking historical fact.

[475] But in this stupid fucking movie, it was a different guy.

[476] And the UFC took place.

[477] like when he was watching it on television was in like 87 or 88 yeah they fucked with everything in that movie so they fucked with his accomplishments like when he went to the fox catcher farms or whatever the guy called it he was already a world champion multiple times he was one of the best wrestlers on earth and they made it look like he was living in his brother's shadow like he wasn't you know it's just not true yeah and they did that just to add drama to the storyline like this guy needed his brother there in order to rise to occasionally he's the big dumb ape and his brother is really intelligent and a really good wrestler.

[478] His brother was really good, but he was really good too.

[479] Yeah, and then they just, they always do that.

[480] They'll do it with the Kinnison movie.

[481] They'll do it with the Hicks movie.

[482] I get trying to spin it a little bit to give, you know, for some dramatic effect or whatever, but you can't say that it's a true story at that point.

[483] But you don't have to spin it when the story is so fucking crazy.

[484] I mean, Steve Carell's character, that guy, John DuPont, was in real life, the things he did were so fucked up.

[485] and so crazy.

[486] I mean, he really did shoot Mark Schultz, Mark Schultz brother Dave, in front of his family.

[487] He fucking pulled out a gun and shot him in a cocaine psychosis.

[488] Yeah.

[489] And that was real, you know?

[490] So it's, you don't have to, you don't have to monkey with that, man. Right.

[491] It's weird enough.

[492] But maybe, I mean, I'm not like justifying it, but maybe when there's just millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars on the line, people start overthinking it.

[493] There's too many cooks in the kitchen and, ah, we got to have them fight a white guy.

[494] We can't not.

[495] know yeah they change it true yeah that is true that's not to say it's okay it's just good grief but it's weird to do it while the guy's still alive and in young i mean he's not even i don't even think he's 50 he's you know he's alive and well and they're doing a story on his life and they're changing everything around monkey and reality that's just crazy yeah it's just something that just happens there's so much money involved in hollywood it's just why when when a show like like game of Thrones when a show like that comes off it's almost like like how did this happen like how did they make such a perfect show right in spite of all the madness that's involved in hollywood like how did they figure out how to do how to do something so good i don't know i mean look at even recently i was reading a thing about all these like that movie jupiter ascending another we're just dogpiling channing tatum today but um i don't know what that is just became uh it just came out and it was something like 80 or a hundred million dollars i don't know if if we know the actual budget and it's like it's opening weekend made like 10 million and it's like why are you spending that much money like what was it some sci -fi movie i don't know if it was what if it was based on something it probably was since everything is nowadays but you know it to for something to cost that much i mean that raises the expectation so much but it's probably because everyone's going we got all this money invested we got to fuck with this we got to do this and change that and you know whatever whatever so it's kind of sad that then you know you get a small thing i don't want to say game of thrones is small but it's like you know how is it that that's like you said is able to be something so perfect be something of a high quality it's it can be done but they just fuck with it too much well i think game of thrones is also HBO and HBO seems to be i mean it's just from an outside perspective i've never worked for them.

[496] They just seem smarter.

[497] They seem smarter with their choices.

[498] I mean, they put on the Sopranos back when there was nothing like that.

[499] Yeah.

[500] You know, their choices have been, like, they very rarely have a dud on HBO.

[501] I mean, like, when was the last dud show that HBO put out?

[502] I don't know.

[503] Yeah, see?

[504] It's like, you can think of a million shitbag sitcoms, and NBC fucking diary it out onto America.

[505] Right.

[506] You know, you could literally, you could just sit down with a pen and paper and write down how many CBS shows made you want to open up a fucking vein.

[507] You know, like, if somebody made you watch, you know, Mike and Molly every day for the rest of your life or jump off a bridge.

[508] Like, he'd have to go, all right, how long is an episode?

[509] It's 30 minutes.

[510] All right, I'll watch it.

[511] Billy Gardell's funny, though.

[512] He is funny.

[513] He is a great guy.

[514] Well, the girl's funny, too, but it's one of those shows.

[515] It's like they make these mass -produced white bread, mayonnaise sandwich shows.

[516] Well, and they're doing 20.

[517] 26 episodes, so five seasons into it.

[518] That's well over 100 episodes that they've done.

[519] It's like, what more do we need to see out of these characters?

[520] When you look at Game of Thrones, though, what season are we about to start, season four or five?

[521] And they've only done 10 episodes a season.

[522] Right.

[523] So it's so epic, though.

[524] They have so many CGI things and the scenery.

[525] It's a great show from top to bottom.

[526] It must be an insanely expensive show to make, too.

[527] I bet.

[528] Like the war with the fucking giants and their fucking shot giant arrows at these things.

[529] things that are coming through the walls and chasing people.

[530] Scary as shit, man. Oh, man, it's such a goddamn good show.

[531] But, like, it's interesting, like, a show like Mike and Molly, like Billy Gardell, who's a very funny stand -up comic and a great guy.

[532] Nobody knows who he is.

[533] Right.

[534] But everyone knows who that Melissa McCarthy girl is.

[535] She's on the cover of fucking Rolling Stone.

[536] She's in every other Sandra Bullock movie.

[537] Yeah.

[538] You know?

[539] And it's weird how that happens.

[540] Like, one character from one of those shows will take off.

[541] and the other one is, oh, that's that chick's husband.

[542] Yeah.

[543] You know?

[544] It is weird.

[545] It's Hollywood.

[546] I mean, how do you explain it?

[547] How do you explain it?

[548] Josh McDermott.

[549] You're in Hollywood now.

[550] You're an insider.

[551] I don't know.

[552] I don't know, man. Don't put me on the spot.

[553] Being a Hollywood insider, too.

[554] Like, do you get people that are coming up to you now because you're on the walking dad and go, hey, man, I got this script.

[555] I mean, if you could just get it to those guys, as a respect.

[556] Yeah, to a point.

[557] I mean, I get hit up for things a lot.

[558] Like I was telling Brian, I'm doing a show tonight, and I haven't done stand -up in a while.

[559] It's been a long time.

[560] But the reason I agreed to do this show is because he's like, dude, I'm not going to promote you.

[561] I'm not going to say you're on the show, whatever.

[562] You know, I won't put you on the flyer.

[563] I was like, cool, low expectations.

[564] But I'm getting hit up to do shows with these guys.

[565] They want to make me the headliner.

[566] They want me to, they want to use me to promote their show, I get it, but, like, I'm going to go up there and shit the bed if you put me at the headliner.

[567] I haven't performed in a year.

[568] Yeah, you haven't gone up for a year, and you don't miss it.

[569] You didn't miss it at all, you said.

[570] I didn't miss it.

[571] Does that scare you?

[572] I mean, were you, like, I mean, because comedy was your thing before this.

[573] Yeah, I mean, it scares me a little bit, but I, I mean, I just was getting so burned out on it about doing stand -up in L .A. and like I would go on the road and I would love being on the road and you get to do a real show and you get to work on new material and you get to like, you know, have fun and then you come back to L .A. and I was just like, want to kill myself doing these shows.

[574] I hated doing stand -up in L .A. I don't know what it was.

[575] I would never have a good show.

[576] I could never work on new material.

[577] You know, honestly, when I would do the Ice House shows, those were like the best of the shows that I would do.

[578] But then I'm like, you know, I live on one side of the town and it's the show's on the other and I was like on a Friday night I can drive out there but you know it's just and it wasn't what I wanted to be doing ultimately I wanted to be acting so I just So you kind of got in to stand -up to act Or once you started acting you you realize you liked it better A little of both I think You know I loved doing stand -up You know I did it for 12 years And then I was like you know But I do want to eventually be acting You know so it wasn't like oh I'm gonna use this To get in the door It was just like I'm gonna do stand -up and I also want to act but then when I started a kind of dislike stand -up at least in LA I started to love acting more what's your what was your issue with stand -up in LA like you said you can't do new material like what do you worry about people are watching and they're worried that you're going to fuck up no it was like a weird um I don't know I would like I would just do a show and I'd run new material I mean I don't know what your success rate is I mean you've been doing stand -up for what 26 years yes 26 years.

[579] So I don't know what your success rate is on a new bit that you write.

[580] If you're going up and it's like, let's say you're going to try out 10 new minutes, you know, does seven minutes of it usually work?

[581] Or does three minutes of it usually work off the bat?

[582] Like what is...

[583] Completely varies.

[584] I mean, one week it could be one minute and the next week it could be all 10.

[585] Yeah.

[586] Week to week it varies.

[587] Topic to topic, it varies.

[588] To me, it's all about how inspired I am by what I'm talking about.

[589] And if I'm very inspired, then I'll find what the energy is and whatever the subject is.

[590] Yeah.

[591] And if I'm not inspired, but I know what you're saying about, there's a sort of over it that the Hollywood crowds have.

[592] Yeah.

[593] They want to see a celebrity.

[594] Well, even then.

[595] They want to see Louis C .K. or Chris Rock come out.

[596] They're over it.

[597] They've seen a million of them before.

[598] They're not, they don't laugh as much.

[599] I mean, I've seen like at the comedy store, literally a whole table full of people, especially if you're watching the back, that are just sitting there like this with their arms crossed.

[600] Like a whole table full, like not having fun, not enthusiastic.

[601] But you go to Pasadena, which is only half hour away, and everybody's having a great time.

[602] You go to Irvine.

[603] It's only 40 minutes away.

[604] Right.

[605] Everybody's having a great time.

[606] It's just this one center, the L .A. center.

[607] The TMZ, the 30 -mile zone.

[608] It's also, like, these people, a good percentage of them, want to be in show business themselves.

[609] and people that like this fucking friend who's an actor and it's impossible to watch movies with this fuck because he goes like whatever happened to that guy's career like Jesus Christ can you watch the fucking movie man what about your career shithead you know you're you don't even have a fucking career and you're shit on this guy who's in Jurassic Park to stop you know you can't they're so self -obsessed that they can't even just enjoy a show enjoy a movie right You know, it has to be something about careers or, you know, the arc of their life's history.

[610] I mean, it can't just be...

[611] It becomes a human nature thing that we want to, like, pick apart other people in their successes, but it's, like, heightened when you're in Los Angeles, and you're just constantly bombarded with people doing what you're setting out to do, and maybe, you know, you're reminded of your failures and that sort of thing.

[612] I mean, it could be that, too.

[613] Oh, for sure.

[614] I mean, you look at you and, like, you got fucking lucky on that show, dude, I could have done that.

[615] what are you doing you're playing a fucking weird guy yeah i could do that yeah bro if i was there i fucking i guess what if i was in the fucking audition room before you dude i probably got that so fuck off yeah no you hear that can i take your order yeah right right you hear that well you definitely do you you know you get definitely get people that for some reason resent you for you know going to the audition getting on the show and they're watching you on television and they've seen you in real life, and they're like, man, that would have been the perfect show for me. Yeah.

[616] For the most part, though, the fans have been great, but there are those guys, those people, just like at least centered in Los Angeles where you're just like, you know, you encounter them and they are completely negative and I could have done that, you know, whatever, whatever.

[617] But, you know, when I say I didn't miss it, it's not that, you know, it's not like I was just sitting on my couch.

[618] I was doing something really fun, you know, so I was like, it's not like I had this thing tugging me, I had like an open invitation to go do the clubs in Atlanta when I was living there.

[619] And I just never was able to make it.

[620] I was exhausted all the time.

[621] Yeah.

[622] What are the long hours?

[623] Like you guys are working on set?

[624] I mean, I'm usually up like at 3 .30 in the morning and I drink it for an hour south to where we shoot.

[625] Because we live in Atlanta, but we shoot an hour south.

[626] I mean, I could live down where we shoot, but there's like literally nothing to do.

[627] I would go crazy.

[628] Oh, okay.

[629] So, you know, I just do a quick little.

[630] We'll drive back up to Atlanta.

[631] So you're up at 3 .30 in the morning?

[632] 3 .30 in the morning.

[633] Get down there, 5 in the morning.

[634] Yeah, I'm one of the first guys on set because they got to put my mullet in, you know.

[635] Literally, they need a time to put the mullet in.

[636] Do you think, man, if I just grow out a mullet for real, I'll fucking save a lot of time.

[637] I want to have a social life, man. But, dude, you can be rocking that mullet out and people would be like, that's the fucking guy, man. Yeah, I know.

[638] I throw a hat on and then no one knows.

[639] but if I walk around with that guy who plays Abraham, Mike Cudlitz, he's got that handlebar mustache.

[640] Oh, yeah.

[641] Like, he can't get away from it at all.

[642] I can put a hat on no one knows, but he can't get away from that mustache.

[643] Oh, he has to.

[644] Orange, you know?

[645] Does he have to wear that mustache all year around?

[646] Yeah.

[647] Oh.

[648] Yeah.

[649] So right now he's growing it out, like in a beard.

[650] So when you get to, like, when you get to the end of the season, how much time do you guys have between you're wrapped for the season and how much downtime do you have?

[651] Oh, we wrapped in, like, right.

[652] the week before Thanksgiving, so November, and then the show doesn't come back until late April.

[653] And so do you have, like, your contract clause?

[654] Like, you can't gain weight, you can't shave your head, you can't?

[655] Yeah, there's some stuff.

[656] I mean, I think, I don't know specifically, those sorts of things, I think it's just all common sense.

[657] Right, yeah, don't gain weight, don't lose weight, don't, you know, cut your hair.

[658] Don't get crazy.

[659] This is a show looking for people to kill off.

[660] I don't want to give them a reason.

[661] I come back, and I look like Chris Pratt.

[662] I'm ripped, all of a sudden.

[663] And they're like, I'm in that, let's go.

[664] They would probably work that in their storyline.

[665] Maybe.

[666] You could be dancing.

[667] I would.

[668] Magic Mike style.

[669] Yeah.

[670] I would, I mean, I find it believable if someone's going to lose weight.

[671] Like, I don't know if you watched Lost, but that guy Hurley, never lost weight.

[672] He gained weight, actually.

[673] Yeah.

[674] Well, it's because he got money and he started eating good.

[675] Yeah.

[676] That's what happens.

[677] But, you know, it's like they're on a desert island.

[678] Like, you would lose weight.

[679] A lot of fucking weight.

[680] Yeah, you're just eating pineapple all the time or whatever.

[681] Like, just lose weight.

[682] there's no gluten on an island right every island is gluten free he's to bring your own gluten or you get none that guy like it's sad when you see a guy like that because you know like that guy's so typecast and so so morbidly obese yeah it's like you you were on a huge show lost giant show and then nothing nothing he's on Hawaii 50 him and the Asian guy was on both on that show it's weird it's like lost but now they're cops like recurrence they probably kept him in a while like look you're in hawaii already yeah you want to work here yeah yeah actually i saw him he in burbank the other day and i think he was on a date or something like that and he's the girl he was with like literally came up to his belt and just this little small girl and he's this huge big joie diaz guy it's so he's way bigger than joey yeah he's way bigger than joe he's way like twice the size he's like ralphie may style more than joe oh my god how tall is he is he a tall he was taller than me i was way taller than i thought he was I wonder how much he weighs.

[683] 500 pounds.

[684] You think 500?

[685] It's a big boy.

[686] 400, at least.

[687] Joey got to like 450.

[688] Good grief.

[689] When Joey was at his largest, he was, you know, people get big.

[690] It's a lot of goddamn weight.

[691] I used to weigh 300.

[692] Did you really?

[693] Yeah.

[694] Holy shit.

[695] And then I went down to 220.

[696] I mean, I dropped like 80 pounds.

[697] What did you do?

[698] Just, you know what?

[699] It's this fad thing called eating right and exercising.

[700] People should try it.

[701] But you know what?

[702] I got a problem with eating.

[703] Mexican food and overeating and all that stuff.

[704] So, and then just being lazy.

[705] So then I yo -yo, I get back up to 260, and then I go to 240, and I'm just all over the place.

[706] You know, but my dad's a huge guy.

[707] You know, I got big guys in my family.

[708] I'm just afraid that I'm kind of, in a sense, predisposition to do that unless I work my ass off.

[709] Yeah, jeans are a motherfucker, dude.

[710] You see some people, like, you see their kids, their kids are three, and they have these gigantic Michelin tire arms.

[711] You know, like, fuck.

[712] Yeah.

[713] I mean, a lot of it has to be diet.

[714] But it's very clear that some people can eat anything they fucking want and never gain any weight at all.

[715] Well, they show these kids on Mori Povich where he's like trying to confront the parents of these obese children.

[716] And then they just like have the kid in the green room and they're just, they set a camera on them.

[717] And there's this giant bowl of Cheetos.

[718] And the kid's two years old and he weighs 80 pounds.

[719] And he's just like wolfing down Cheetos.

[720] And it's like, that's like every day for them.

[721] That shit is so bad for you.

[722] Most of the American snacks that you buy, like most of like cheats.

[723] Cheetos and Doritos and all that stuff.

[724] It's just, they're filled with hydrogenated oils and fucking fats that your body has a really hard time digesting and artificial colors.

[725] Your body's like, what the fuck is the diarrhea?

[726] Your body just has no idea what to do with it all.

[727] But sometimes it's so good, man. Dude, spicy Doritos.

[728] Oreos.

[729] Oh, dude.

[730] Forget about it.

[731] Especially if you're high.

[732] If you're high and you're hungry and you open the cabinet and they're there and you, you Oh, yes.

[733] Yeah.

[734] You don't even think.

[735] You just go give it to me. I never buy that stuff.

[736] But if I see it out, like if there was a bag of Doritos here, I'd eat the whole thing.

[737] The craft service table at the Walking Dead?

[738] It's the worst, man. Do you have a craft service table out in the sun?

[739] Like, how does that work?

[740] Yeah, it's, they just, well, they put a tent over it, but yeah, they just have, and you can order anything you want.

[741] You can say, give me a grilled cheese sandwich or a cassidia.

[742] They'll go make it for you.

[743] Right.

[744] And so I always try to have someone else.

[745] order for me so that they order something healthy.

[746] Otherwise, I'm ordering, you know, chicken casidias, and then I order something else.

[747] But so then, of course, like the actor thing is to get, like, turkey wrapped in lettuce.

[748] That's the actor thing?

[749] All the actors eat that.

[750] Really?

[751] Yeah.

[752] That's hilarious.

[753] They try to pretend they're eating healthy.

[754] Yeah.

[755] I'm healthy.

[756] I'm not like you.

[757] I'm so superior.

[758] I have all these healthy fats.

[759] Omega -3s, bro.

[760] I graze, though.

[761] That's the problem I always had with the fucking craft service tables.

[762] I would just graze.

[763] And I'd be upset at myself.

[764] Like, why don't I just eat 80 M &Ms?

[765] Because that's what they put out.

[766] They're there.

[767] And you're just like, you get a handful.

[768] You're like, all right.

[769] You'd like justify it.

[770] I'm just going to have a handful.

[771] And you're like, oh, shit, I got another hand.

[772] So you go to scoop up some more.

[773] You know?

[774] I have the biggest problem with all that stuff.

[775] Kevin James brought a fucking trailer on his, one of his movies.

[776] And the trailer, it was like, you know, like a regular big moving trailer and it was filled with exercise equipment oh i thought you're going to say food just hoos and ringdings fucking donuts because i've heard they do that like the rock does that he's got a whole trailer or will smith might have like a big bus full of exercise like that's great well i think that's where kevin got it from i think he got it from will smith when he did that movie with him he did a movie with will smith and he was pretty inspired by that guy but I think that's a common thing.

[777] They have these trailers that they rent and you get in them and they have everything and they had a tanning booth in it too.

[778] Oh my God, that's over the top.

[779] You can go lie down and get a tan but you can get a like a full workout in right there on the set.

[780] So like he was doing that Here Comes the Boom movie where he had to play a fighter.

[781] Oh yeah.

[782] He lost a shit load away.

[783] He gained it way back.

[784] Like double time.

[785] I just saw the preview for that for some reason they made a sequel to Paul Blatt or the male.

[786] mall cop sequel and holy cow he's big yeah he got big you got big again but i mean why did he lose weight was it because of or uh gain the weight back was it because of habits or is it because maybe he thought he's not that funny if he's skinny or like you know what i mean like that's the kind of mentality that that people have at least in this industry sometimes well like i'm a funny fat guy i'm not going to be a funny skinny guy when i you know kevin and i when we were young um when we first moved to L .A. in like the 1990s, he had an agent at the time that I talked to him into firing, but that's one of the things that his agent said to him, when you're losing weight, you're losing roles.

[787] He told him not to be healthy because it's bad for your career.

[788] And I was saying, do you look around, look at all these people on TV.

[789] Yeah.

[790] Are they all fat?

[791] Is it the only way to be on TV?

[792] Do you have to be fat?

[793] What are you telling me?

[794] You're not going to be funny if you get skinny?

[795] You're funny.

[796] You're funny because of your brain, dude.

[797] Your brain's going to better if you're skinnier it's for him Kevin doesn't have any real vices like he doesn't drink he doesn't smoke weed he doesn't like to do drugs he's his thing is food he fucking loves food the way he talks about food is like the way a guy who is getting out of 20 years in prison talks about the first sex he's going to have right you know he talks about it like I can't this fucking these chicken parm sandwiches they got this this crust they have on them it's fucking just golden brown toasted not burnt but just slightly slightly brown and the sauce the sauce and the melted mozzarella cheese and oh oh he'll talk about it like he just he told me about the best cheeseburger place in Encino there's apparently this donut place in Encino Lucky's or something like that and they also have cheeseburgers I never went there because you know the fuck it's just a cheeseburger I'm not traveling for a cheeseburger right I mean how good could it be yeah but listening to him describe it almost got me to drive there it was like it was like porn to him it's like porn yeah it's clearly a vice well that was the problem john candy had you know it's common problem there was i was talking to there was that movie he did summer rental and um and it was like 1984 or something and he was literally at his skinniest he's like ever been in any of his movies when he was doing that movie i was talking to the guy who wrote that and was like one of the producers and he said every day they would go in you know break into his hotel room while he's on set and steal all the like food that he had taken from the set yeah and like he had like he showed up with suitcases full of junk food like several suitcases and they're like in they had to literally take that stuff away from him so that he wouldn't eat it and like yo yo his weight while they were shooting out of sequence or whatever like and he was at his skinniest and he was still a big guy but some people have a problem with that I got a problem with him man he still ate himself to death yeah well i mean john candy died pretty young i mean i don't think he was 50 was he he was like 44 or something like that all from fat all just eating himself to death he was so funny though god damn that guy was funny planes trains and automobiles oh my god he was hilarious my buddies and i will do a john candy movie every once in a while just watch a john candy movie great outdoors yeah i mean everything he's home alone the polka the polka dude yeah it's so good man uncle buck is great they're doing an uncle buck show now they did an uncle buck show way back in the day yeah with somebody else that's weird well maybe they feel like enough times passed now don't you remember like i think it was jim bellushi or something like that oh really yeah oh i don't know that that would have worked oh obviously it didn't yeah hold on a second uncle buck tv show oh it was kevin meanie oh poor kevin christ yeah that was 1989 oh all african -american uncle buck show coming soon No. Wait, all African -American?

[798] Yeah, yeah, they're doing a Annie.

[799] That's the new thing.

[800] Oh, Christ, that's hilarious.

[801] That's weird.

[802] That's hilarious how they do that.

[803] Not that, I mean, not that, you know, it needs to be a white show, but it's like, it just, it's so calculated.

[804] Just make another show.

[805] Just make a show and hire the best actors.

[806] Meanwhile, salon .com will praise it for its diversity.

[807] It's amazing what they've done.

[808] Better than the original, because everyone's a minority.

[809] Yeah.

[810] That show Blackish is pretty fun.

[811] That's a funny show.

[812] But that show would be funny.

[813] I mean, it's original.

[814] You know, it's a first run.

[815] No one's ever done it before.

[816] Yeah.

[817] It's their show.

[818] They created all the characters.

[819] Ian Edwards writes on it.

[820] You know, yeah.

[821] Lawrence Fishburn's on it.

[822] It's filmed right next to my house.

[823] They have...

[824] It's a good fucking show.

[825] But it's like they got good writers.

[826] You know, it's just well done.

[827] I mean, it would be well done if they were Chinese people.

[828] It would be well done if they were Polish.

[829] Right.

[830] It's just a good show.

[831] I can't wait until racism, style.

[832] and dies down to the point where it's no longer addressed because it's so fucking annoying watching shows that are so clearly in response to like the the brownie points you're going to get the social brownie points you're going to get for showing diversity it's not that diversity was like it was important because it needs to be done it's almost like it's done just to kind of like score you know it's done to like look what we've done look we've got a woman and she's Asian and she runs the show.

[833] Well, there's a black woman president on our show.

[834] Yeah.

[835] The president of the United States is black and it's a woman on our show.

[836] It's like, I see what you're doing.

[837] Okay, you're doing like card tricks, okay?

[838] Let's stop calling attention to it.

[839] Just make it good.

[840] Make it good.

[841] It's duh.

[842] You know, it's duh.

[843] Like, racism is bad.

[844] Duh.

[845] I can't wait until it's done.

[846] You know, like, I mean, who the fuck do you know that's racist?

[847] In this day and age, if I was hanging out with someone, Anthony Coomie might be a little racist.

[848] but a little bit a little bit some old school comics he's experienced that guy's experienced a lot of shit being a white guy living in New York and looking like him things get rough but I think that in hopefully in our lifetime it'll get to a point well people will find other reasons to separate you know the idea of like right now you've got people that separate because of conservative and liberal You got people that separate because of religious and atheists.

[849] You got people that celebrate, separate rather, because of vegan and meat eater.

[850] You know, you've got all these little factions and groups that separate from each other.

[851] You know, Seattle fans versus patriots.

[852] I mean, this is essentially we like to be in these weird little groups.

[853] Yeah.

[854] And the group of white people, just white people that don't like minorities.

[855] It's like, God damn, that's a fucking stupid group.

[856] like in the group of black people that don't like white people like that's a fucking dumb group too these groups are dumb like the idea of you're just one aspect of your appearance or one aspect of your ethnic origin it's one of the dumbest fucking things to like associate with and it's it's tiresome and the response to it the opposite response to it is almost just as tiresome it's almost like just we need to get to a point where it's not an issue issue anymore so that these like the making a black uncle buck is going to you know people got to go why would you do that why don't you just make Uncle Frank you know make a new fucking show right you know you have to it doesn't have to be Uncle Buck it's not John Candy it's not even Kevin Meaney stop stop Kevin Meaney gets gets inserted into this argument against his will well not like that leave me out of it find me a black guy named Buck right are there black guys named buck okay let's let's google black guys named buck i've never even met a white guy i mean all the bucks have been like buck rogers uncle buck like yeah that's like from the fucking 50s buck when i worked at the radio station in phoenix uh it was owned by buck owens the legendary country store wow images for black guys named buck it's quite a few There's some fucking ridiculous images of black gentleman named Buck.

[857] It's a lot of white people.

[858] The Jack Johnson's in there.

[859] His name's not Buck.

[860] Fuck you.

[861] This is ridiculous.

[862] That's a Google image search.

[863] Black guys named Buck, and then pictures of Christina Hendricks, boobs come up.

[864] And then Buck Angel.

[865] Do you know Buck Angel?

[866] I don't know Buck Angel.

[867] Buck Angel was on the podcast.

[868] It used to be a woman, is now a man. Oh, wow.

[869] transgender porn star all yoked and shit pretty ripped really good guy too yeah fun guy to hang out with talk to name buck black white as fuck but i google black guys named buck nope there's so few black guys named buck you don't even get past the first page the first you get one row of black people before you get white folks right and a couple of those Look.

[870] A couple of those photos.

[871] The images, yeah, they might not even be really named Buck.

[872] It's just black people.

[873] Oh, yeah, those are just Buckeyes.

[874] Yeah, one of them is Ohio State Buckeyes.

[875] It's true.

[876] It's Ohio State.

[877] Just two of them are Ohio State, and two of them are like pictures from back when they, you know.

[878] One of them is a whole website on Blackface.

[879] The history of Blackface.

[880] That's where the image comes from.

[881] Which is, God.

[882] Okay, so that, oh, okay.

[883] that guy buck was not even oh he was a black man all right blackface is a weird thing like you can't do blackface today like someone was uh playing a character uh like uh at a a party like a Halloween party and they put black face on and um they got fired from their job because you you can't pretend to be a black person like you cannot have black person makeup on if you are a white person I successfully did it Because I was a black wizard, though.

[884] No, you didn't successfully do it, dude.

[885] Nobody knew about it.

[886] Nobody knew about it, and you can't get fired from your job.

[887] You work from me. No, I mean, I went to parties and no one ever said anything because I was playing almost like a superhero kind of character, you know, but it was a black face.

[888] What parties did you go to, though?

[889] The South Park Party, and then I went to a couple bars.

[890] Gilmore Girls' Party.

[891] Like, see, you hear what I'm saying?

[892] Like, you're not working for a company.

[893] What I'm saying is that there was a company, and they had a party, and they had a party.

[894] a Halloween party and this guy showed up in blackface and they fired him and it was this issue like come on man he's he's playing like Mr. T you know he had like gold chains on everything and he put black you know skin colored makeup on you cannot you literally cannot do that you can pretend to be from avatar you can pretend to be a lot of things which you can't pretend to be as a black person you cannot darken your skin color yeah that's a weird that's a weird fucking rule and oh you And, you know, when you say this, and I've said this before in the podcast, and people will fucking freak out, and the ultra -sensitive social justice warrior types will start tweeting you.

[895] Do you not understand, are you saying, you don't understand the context of where blackface came from, how offensive it is to people of color?

[896] Fuck off.

[897] Fuck off with your fake sensitivity.

[898] I know what you're doing.

[899] You brownie point searching for, assholes.

[900] It's just skin.

[901] It's just the color of skin.

[902] It's preposterous.

[903] the idea that you can't play Denzel Washington.

[904] You can't, like, you can't do it, you can't ever do it.

[905] You have to be the white Denzel Washington.

[906] That's what, you're like, what if I want to play Denzel Washington for Halloween?

[907] I can't do it.

[908] I'm a huge Denzel Washington fan.

[909] I loved all his movies.

[910] But a girl could.

[911] No, they can't.

[912] A girl could get away with, if, doing blackface as a guy, as Denzel Washington.

[913] I doubt it.

[914] Or Mr. T. Who's that actress that just got in trouble this year for Halloween?

[915] She did blackface.

[916] Julian Yeah Yeah She was someone from Orange is a New Black She didn't Did she get in trouble Oh yeah she was on TMZ about it It was all over the place About it Have you been following the Jenner thing at all, Joe?

[917] Of course This white teens in blackface Yeah there's a bunch of these Missouri high school girls Wear Blackface Outrage Outrage as white high school seniors in Missouri show up for girls powder puff football game in blackface look at this oh god that's people in Missouri that think they can they just think they can fucking do anything they're like shit we're in Missouri we don't have to follow your liberal rules anywhere near Ferguson I mean they do they not watch the news do they not know they're not interested the racial tensions that are taking place within their state they're like I'm staying in this town I ain't moving moving from this town, this is where I live, they're all wearing black face, and they have teachers around them that are all smiling.

[918] The images of white girls with their faces painted black was posted on social media, sparking outrage.

[919] This is like some serious black face, though.

[920] They didn't even bother doing the neck.

[921] No. They're just black face.

[922] They're not pretending.

[923] It's not called black neck.

[924] Not black wrist.

[925] That was a conversation they had.

[926] Look at their arms.

[927] Everything is white.

[928] Everything is white.

[929] Everything is white.

[930] They got black.

[931] Some of them have like a black long -sleeved shirt on.

[932] Yeah.

[933] But they don't have gloves.

[934] That chick planned ahead.

[935] Two of them did.

[936] It's fucking, I don't know, man. I mean, look, racism is absolutely disgusting.

[937] But you give a lot of people a lot of power when you allow them, you know, when you get so upset.

[938] The principal said nothing racial.

[939] This is hilarious.

[940] This is from the fucking principal.

[941] Nothing racial about the powder puff team wearing black face.

[942] Oh, really?

[943] How is there nothing racial?

[944] They're pretending to be a different race than they are.

[945] That's very racial.

[946] That's inherently racial.

[947] There's no way of getting around.

[948] It's racial.

[949] But here's the thing.

[950] It's not bad to be black.

[951] Okay?

[952] So why would taking makeup and turning your skin black be bad?

[953] I get there's a racist context to it.

[954] But when does that dissolve?

[955] I mean, at one point in time, do we culturally just step back and say, like, that's ridiculous.

[956] If somebody wants to be fucking Mr. T. If you're black and you're hanging around with a bunch of white people and they're legitimately your friends and you love them and one of them decides to be Mr. T for Halloween and shows up with a bunch of gold chains.

[957] He's got a mohawk on and he's got blackface on.

[958] Are you going to beat him up?

[959] Are you going to beat your friend up for being racially insensitive?

[960] I mean, we really live in that fucking retarded a world where that's such a huge issue.

[961] It just seems racism is disgusting.

[962] Racism is evil.

[963] But someone playing another race by putting makeup on their skin, the only way that would be negative at all.

[964] The only way is if there was something wrong with being that race.

[965] There's clearly nothing wrong with being a black person.

[966] So someone who's white putting black makeup on it's not like they're, it's not like they're doing Al Jolson and they're putting white around their lips and black and they're they're doing some sort of a fucking horrible racist performance.

[967] Running around saying Massa.

[968] Yeah, exactly.

[969] Obviously.

[970] Exactly.

[971] This person who got fired, he was playing a famous black person but it's it's out of bounds like you cannot do it you can't do it there's a witch hut going on in this country you know just like the moment someone mentions any sort of race it's nah you're racist yeah well it's such a great way to diffuse someone and take all the onus off them take all of the possible scrutiny or criticism that might come their way and point it all at you it's also a great way to diffuse your argument just call you a racist you know like you if you have a different opinion about Ferguson or about, you know, economics or Al Sharpton or anything that involves a black person, instantaneously your arguments diffused if they call you're a racist.

[972] Yeah.

[973] Well, Josh McDermott, you're a racist.

[974] Right.

[975] Well, you're from Phoenix, Arizona, one of the most racist states.

[976] Yeah.

[977] Come on, man. You're a racist.

[978] Why don't you just own up to your racism, man?

[979] Yeah.

[980] There's no way around that.

[981] You can sit there and argue it, and they just keep.

[982] keep throwing that back at you and you could get you could get hashtag black lives matter tattooed on your forearm people would still they would still go after you they would still it's because it's it's a way that people instead of it being a rational thing who is that ted dancing oh that's right oh god did blackface when he was dating whoopi goldberg he did it on tv yeah didn't he well he had a pass he thought because he was dating whoopi he's like look at her I'm fucking her.

[983] I should be able to do something about this.

[984] Oh, I forgot about that.

[985] That kind of started at all, I feel like.

[986] That started all.

[987] Ted Danson's fault.

[988] Well, I mean, it was offensive at one point in time, especially because at one point in time, that was the only way you saw black people represented on TV.

[989] It was a white person playing a black person or in movies.

[990] Or they were slaves, you know?

[991] I mean, you had, like, go back, like, other races, like, go back and watch John Wayne play Genghis Khan.

[992] You tell me, that's not fucking offensive?

[993] Right.

[994] He's playing a Mongol, and he's clearly this fucking corn -fed white guy from America.

[995] And he's playing, like, one of the most important historical conquerors ever.

[996] Right.

[997] And he's playing him out of the race.

[998] He doesn't even have makeup on.

[999] He's not even fucking pretending.

[1000] At least the guy who played Jackie, or Charlie Chan, like, they did something to him to make him look more Chinese.

[1001] Yeah.

[1002] You know, but John Wayne, they just said, fuck it.

[1003] It's John Wayne.

[1004] He's Genghis Khan.

[1005] That's who I am.

[1006] I'm a conkerone.

[1007] I mean, have you ever watched it?

[1008] No, I haven't.

[1009] Oh, it's glorious.

[1010] I think I've seen pictures, but yeah, I haven't seen it.

[1011] It's glorious in its stupidity.

[1012] It's so fucking bad.

[1013] It's so bad.

[1014] And you realize, like, it was like one of those Elvis movies where they would just fucking slap together.

[1015] There was a point in time where they would slap together a movie, have Elvis in it, and just, you know, Elvis is a football star.

[1016] We got to win this game.

[1017] We got it on this game, and Elvis would start dancing.

[1018] They would do that with John Wayne.

[1019] I mean, they would let John Wayne play Genghis Khan in one of the shittiest fucking movies of all time.

[1020] But they just didn't, they didn't do any makeup, they didn't, like, darken his skin at all.

[1021] Want to see it?

[1022] Want to see it?

[1023] Jamie, pull it up and put it on this screen, so only we see it, so the folks, so we don't get pulled from YouTube.

[1024] If you have videos that people have copyright on them and you play them, and then you upload it, even from a podcast where you're talking about it, you play it on YouTube.

[1025] They pull it.

[1026] No, that sucks.

[1027] Yeah, but we'll put it up on here just for the he -hees and the ha -haz.

[1028] Because you've got to see how fucking bad it is.

[1029] The old USA logo.

[1030] That's crazy.

[1031] That takes me back.

[1032] That's the USA logo.

[1033] I remember that.

[1034] USA movie.

[1035] USA.

[1036] Look at those graphics.

[1037] Yeah, he just had the Chew Man Fu mustache.

[1038] It's the only...

[1039] Foo Man Chew.

[1040] Look how bad this is.

[1041] stupid and he's banging white chicks super white look how hot she was god damn women that were hot back then too they were hot in a different way man yeah they were they were hot in this like supernatural like when you say hourglass really was like an hourglass because they had about an hour until they turned to old ladies they didn't last like I was at a fucking restaurant the other day and I saw Cindy Crawford And I don't know how old Cindy Crawford is I'm gonna Google right now I'm gonna guess 50 I'm gonna guess 40 No she's she's at least 50 She is hot as fuck She's 48 Dude she's hot as fuck Yeah like she's hot like 25 year old hot Right because that bitch is probably running stairs Every day doing yoga Getting her face sandblasted You know getting stem cells from aborted Fetuses sprayed all over cheekbones.

[1042] I mean, I don't know what she's doing, but whatever she's doing, she needs to write a book.

[1043] Because at 48, she's fucking stunning.

[1044] She's stunning.

[1045] She's a year older than me, and I look like shit.

[1046] Right?

[1047] She looks fucking amazing.

[1048] Oh, no, Joe.

[1049] Come on.

[1050] You look good.

[1051] Oh, stop it.

[1052] Stop it.

[1053] I mean, I don't look totally shitty, but, oh, well, I just don't look as good as I looked last year.

[1054] That's all I'm saying.

[1055] She's fishing for compliments.

[1056] That was the whole point.

[1057] I'm going to make up a story about seeing her at the restaurant, so they tell me I look good.

[1058] Her body, her body's in check or face is in check like there's nothing sadder than you you run into i won't say the name but i ran into this woman who was a major movie star in the 90s and now she's enormous i mean she's probably 50 60 pounds overweight her face looked all fucked up and she looked like she smoked cigarettes and just and i was like no that's not no because before she was just stunning you would see her and just go good lord and now it's just blah yeah same thing just happened to me with the girl from Wayne's Road.

[1059] Oh, really?

[1060] You see them, they're all like, burr.

[1061] I want to know who it is that you're talking about.

[1062] Big, wide wasted, lazy, fucking...

[1063] Who is it?

[1064] Just say who it is.

[1065] Just say who it is.

[1066] I can't.

[1067] I think she lives in my neighborhood.

[1068] Do you still talk to Betty White?

[1069] Betty White.

[1070] You know Betty White?

[1071] He used to be on a show with her.

[1072] No, I wasn't.

[1073] I was on the same network.

[1074] But we would do parties.

[1075] What's the show that used to do?

[1076] Retired of 35.

[1077] It was...

[1078] I thought she was on that.

[1079] What is Retired at 35?

[1080] It was a sitcom I was on.

[1081] We went two seasons with George Siegel, who was on that show, Just Shoot Me, and then I can't think of the woman's name.

[1082] Jessica Walter, who was from Archer and Arrested Development.

[1083] She plays a mom and all that.

[1084] She was red.

[1085] But Betty, I don't know, Betty.

[1086] I just saw the Betty White nudes.

[1087] Somebody sent me the other day of her naked when she was younger.

[1088] Beautiful.

[1089] She's beautiful, man. Betty White had nudes?

[1090] Dude, she has a lot of them, man. And there's like, it's like really...

[1091] Whoa.

[1092] Those are real.

[1093] Yeah.

[1094] She's really...

[1095] She's just a beautiful person.

[1096] The casting couch was a real thing back then.

[1097] It really was.

[1098] It's still real, right?

[1099] Yeah, it still is.

[1100] It must be.

[1101] I mean, I'm probably not for like big budget movies.

[1102] Probably so.

[1103] Probably for everything, man. Stuff like the Conqueror.

[1104] It's kind of implied, though, right?

[1105] Isn't that the thing about the casting couch?

[1106] It's not as simple as like, hey, look it on that couch and suck mystic.

[1107] Right.

[1108] I think it's more...

[1109] finger's penis and put you in X -Men 5.

[1110] No, it doesn't, you know.

[1111] Is he gay?

[1112] I don't know.

[1113] I mean, I think he just likes parties with naked boys.

[1114] In a tub filled with blood.

[1115] Did you see the pool?

[1116] It's like red lights in the pool.

[1117] There's like a hundred twinks running around, banging each other.

[1118] Oh, my God.

[1119] Why not?

[1120] I say why not.

[1121] And we're still asking if he's gay.

[1122] Oh, he's gay.

[1123] He's gay as fuck.

[1124] He's gay as fuck.

[1125] Because I thought there was, I don't know, there was, I mean, this is how stupid and out of the loop I am, but I thought there was something that, like, I just assumed he was based on these allegations and all the things that he went through.

[1126] And then there was something where it was like, oh, my God.

[1127] Why not?

[1128] Is that all blood, bud, butthole blood?

[1129] That's what I'm saying.

[1130] That's crazy.

[1131] It's just red lights.

[1132] It's just red lights.

[1133] Well, they probably put fucking dye in there, too.

[1134] You know, they probably put dye in the pool.

[1135] Look, guys having a good fucking time, man. then he's, I see a couple gals there too.

[1136] A couple of, a couple of gals who want to be able to have fun and not have people try to fuck.

[1137] Look this guy in the foreground with his hair.

[1138] Like, what, that's a bad haircut?

[1139] Yeah, what is that?

[1140] Shave your head, homie.

[1141] Just let it go.

[1142] It's over.

[1143] Trust me. When it's over, it's over.

[1144] Oh, my gosh.

[1145] But, you know, like, these guys that he, you know, he banged, that he brought to these parties, they would get upset.

[1146] But I think the thing was that they were underage.

[1147] They were, like, younger than 18.

[1148] That was like the real issue.

[1149] But, you know, that's one thing about underage sex.

[1150] People give zero fucks if you're an underaged gay boy.

[1151] If you're like a 17 -year -old gay guy likes to blow Hollywood dudes.

[1152] Right.

[1153] But if you were like a girl and like some Mel Gibson type guy, some big Hollywood celebrity guy had parties and had a pool filled with 16 -year -old girls and he was banging, I mean, that would be the end.

[1154] That would be the end.

[1155] Absolutely.

[1156] But if it's boys, I'm like, yeah, they wanted it.

[1157] They have boners.

[1158] They have boners at 17.

[1159] Are they all gay?

[1160] They're all gay, right?

[1161] No one got roofied.

[1162] Okay, yeah, we're done here.

[1163] Get out of here.

[1164] Get out of here.

[1165] He had sex to me. I was 18.

[1166] Did you have sex with you when you were 19 and then 20 and 21?

[1167] Yeah, okay, we're good.

[1168] It's the same thing.

[1169] Same thing happened.

[1170] You didn't know what was going on?

[1171] Was that the first time you'd ever had sex?

[1172] No, did he give you some drugs?

[1173] Did he roofie you?

[1174] Did he do something to you?

[1175] Did you want to have sex with Mr. Singer?

[1176] obvious when someone's trying to get a payday, you know, that, I mean, I don't know the details of this case, but it's like this guy, like, sat on this for, like, 15 years or something like that, didn't he?

[1177] Yeah.

[1178] I mean, it's just like, come on.

[1179] Yeah, well, they definitely, I mean, they feel like they're entitled, you know.

[1180] It's like they could sue, they might be able to get money, so go for it.

[1181] I don't have any money.

[1182] I'm broke.

[1183] Hey, I fuck Brian Singer and all of his friends in a pool six years ago when I was only 17.

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] And you go to a lawyer and he's like, do you have a money?

[1186] You've got any photographs of Mr. Singer and you in this pool?

[1187] And said pool with no clothes on, as a matter of fact, I do.

[1188] And you pull those photos out, and then they say, listen, let's go to this guy.

[1189] And it's essentially, it's a money grab.

[1190] You're trying to get money.

[1191] And, like, you'd say, listen, Mr. Singer, it's going to cost you about $5 million to fight off this lawsuit.

[1192] You know, we are bringing in the big guns here at Sherman and Leffowitz and Associates.

[1193] You know, we have a long history of extorting money from large, rich celebrities like yourself.

[1194] So let's just, let's call it $3 million.

[1195] And let's wrap this pitch up tight right now.

[1196] Yeah.

[1197] And they make these negotiations and they fucking give them some money.

[1198] They settle it out and there you go.

[1199] They sign some sort of a disclosure.

[1200] And it encourages people to continue to do that.

[1201] Well, the UFC's in the middle of, I think three or four class action lawsuits now.

[1202] Some of them, which I just don't understand what they're doing.

[1203] Like guys that had no chance of ever winning a belt ever.

[1204] they were they were not that good they were you know marginal fighters at best and I don't know what they're suing over I don't understand it they're suing over I think the idea is that somehow I know the UFC stifled competition but according to the people that obviously I'm only hearing one side of it but that it's going to cost them $25 million to fight it and they get approached by these lawyers and while they're going through the you know the whole legal issue of what you know what could be considered anti -competition what couldn't be they they start accumulating legal bills and then once the bills start getting high then they they pull them together they have a meeting and they say look here's the deal you know we'll settle for 10 million we'll settle for you know nine million whatever what do you want to do what do you want to do and then they make a few million and then they fucking high -five each other they go get some hookers they drink some wine and they go we got another one I mean there's some legit class actually lawsuits most certainly when products fail and people die um like there's a there was one recently with Chevrolet where it turned out that they they hid the fact that their ignition switches were fucking up and a bunch of people had died because of this yeah and so there's like some legit class action lawsuits when it comes to certain companies but when you see like a brian singer type thing and like okay wait a minute you're gay right you're gay he's gay okay you showed up at his house and there was a bunch of gay dudes and you're all Doing gay stuff?

[1205] Okay.

[1206] And you want some money?

[1207] Look, you get dick.

[1208] That's what you get.

[1209] You went to the party.

[1210] You wanted to get some dick.

[1211] You got some dick.

[1212] You probably got some ecstasy, too.

[1213] Bonus, okay?

[1214] He probably gave you some food.

[1215] You probably had some snacks.

[1216] Yeah, you had a sandwich.

[1217] This burger from this donut shop in Encino.

[1218] It's phenomenal.

[1219] Shut your mouth.

[1220] You got to party in the red pool.

[1221] You didn't have to clean up after.

[1222] Everybody's fine, man. You weren't the guy to scrub.

[1223] rub the fucking red stain off the side of the pool oh my god it's probably that easter egg shit you know what you do with kids dunk eggs oh yeah yeah drop those little pellets into the water it turns red food die and they get out of the pool and they're just all red you can't get away with that kind of shit anymore but back in the day like who could you imagine if you could go back to like the 1950s and the Humphrey Bogart days what kind of fucking chaos those parties must have been like when no there was no accountability the studios totally protected people I mean you'd have to have a dead body before shit got weird you would literally have to have someone to have to be dead and even then and even then probably you wouldn't know about it so I mean for sure there must have been some stars that had to call like what is that show that's on showtime that um ray donovan ray donovan yeah we call the ray donovan guy and ray donovan comes over and he fucking wraps the the kid up in a of some sort of a carpet like cleaner yeah they they take it downstairs and they fucking throw it in the furnace and that's it that's such a good show is it a good show it's a great show i only watched a couple episodes you saw the first episode yeah where he goes to the girl stalker and he's sitting there You want the what's in the bag or the bat?

[1224] The guy goes, I'll take the bag.

[1225] And then he makes him get in a bath full of, like, you know, green dye or whatever.

[1226] And then the guy's just, like, his skin is green.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] He's, you know, it's not going to wash out for a while.

[1229] He's just humiliated and everything.

[1230] That's probably what happened with the Brian Singer's party.

[1231] To be a girl celebrity, I think, would be really scary.

[1232] Because there are dudes that fixate on female celebrities in a really fucking creepy way.

[1233] And today, they can find where they live.

[1234] Oh, yeah.

[1235] It's very easy.

[1236] I was drugged the other day, Joe, I told you about, and that scared the fuck out of me, because that was the first time where I actually felt like something's not right with me. I don't know what's going on, and then I wake up an hour later, and I'm like, what the fuck happened?

[1237] Like, where am I?

[1238] And it was so scary.

[1239] And I talked to girls about it.

[1240] I've had that happen a couple times.

[1241] Girls are party.

[1242] They have that happen all the time.

[1243] They have this nail polish note.

[1244] I'm going to start wearing, though.

[1245] I could just dip my finger in it changes color if there's any roofie in there, though.

[1246] Well, I think it only works for some drugs, though.

[1247] for GHB?

[1248] Like if you dip your finger and it's roof and all, maybe it'll work.

[1249] But will it do it for everything?

[1250] I think maybe each nail has a different.

[1251] I got a kid.

[1252] Have a drink.

[1253] Hold on.

[1254] That was just my roofy nail.

[1255] Let me check my GHB nail.

[1256] My alpha males, our alpha nails now have the roofie for guys.

[1257] They turn hearts.

[1258] Like a pink heart shows up on your nail if it's negative.

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] But what's weird is I told you this already, but I got roofied at a bar and it was uh you know everything just went spinny what bar were you at i was at jumbo's clown room well that's a roofy hot spot yeah yeah i mean it's it's it's a nice people roofy themselves at jumbo yeah just because what am i doing my life that's how most people end up there they've been roofie do shots of roofies yeah it's fucking let's hold for something different when we wake up what do you got on the top shelf there top shelf roofies yeah they do actually take people take rubies on purpose and but this was completely different this was whoa whoa whoa who the fuck takes roofies on purpose uh it's it's seriously kids are do it as a drug uh they take cap you know there's little uh five hour energy drinks uh whatever they're called five hour energy drinks they fill that thing up uh with roofy shit and then they take they're called caps and they take a little cap and they put it in and makes you feel really like uh like like body buz oh you mean GHB yeah which is one of the one of the date rape drugs right but there's not yeah right not roofy like rufanol that's that's a bad yeah i don't know which one mine was my symptoms was i was uh i was on my second or i just had my second drink and i ordered a new drink took like one sip of my third drink and then everything started getting spinning like like like my vision it's almost like trippy like like i couldn't like was like why is the room spinning what was your drink what were you drinking just uh little jack and coax and uh you were saying that someone take they take like vizine bottles and squirt it into people's a bouncer told me what they do is they take a vizine bottle they fill it with whatever the crap they're using and they'll just like literally keep it in their hand walk through and just drop like while they walk by some of these drink just drop it in there and uh he said that roofing guys roofing guys is actually he's seen it before where like there's a guy talking to a girl they want to talk to so they'll roofie the guy to get him out of the way like he'll start getting sick or whatever and go to the bathroom and it pass out yeah i never take drinks from people i don't know unless i see it come from the bar you know into their hand into my hand There's too many weirdos.

[1261] If you don't know them, you never know.

[1262] Some people are, like, aggressive about it.

[1263] Hey, man, come on, do this shot.

[1264] Yes.

[1265] Like, uh, no, where'd that shot come from?

[1266] That shot could have come from Mars.

[1267] I see it in your hand.

[1268] I have no idea where it was before it was in your hand.

[1269] And it's not just being roofied or, you know, like, you could grab a guy's drink and, like, maybe he was great.

[1270] You know, the other night I did, I saw a guy and he recognized me, and I just, as a joke, I grabbed his drink and started drinking it.

[1271] And then I'm like, and I got mad.

[1272] I'm like, oh, he could be, like, having the flute.

[1273] right now and he's still out you know it's good to just do your own drinks it was really weird though because I luckily got to my car and I passed out because I couldn't see my vision was gone I didn't feel drunk I didn't feel sick I just couldn't my eyes weren't working so I closed my eyes and the next thing I know I woke up an hour later in your car in my car and I felt muscle relaxing well you gotta be really careful about that because if a cop knocked on your window you're going to jail I send my backseat yeah I know even if you're in your back seat if you're in your I think if you keep your keys and put it on the front seat, something like that, yeah, yeah, I mean, it's something completely ridiculous.

[1274] But look, it's essentially they have the opportunity to arrest you for, right.

[1275] It's a technicality.

[1276] You know, you can tell them, look, I'm not driving.

[1277] I just, I'm sat here because I knew I can't drive.

[1278] They're like, get out of the car.

[1279] They're arresting you.

[1280] Which is fucking really gross.

[1281] Because you're doing the right thing.

[1282] You realize you can't drive.

[1283] You're just locking your door and letting yourself sober up.

[1284] But there's certain cunty fuckhead cops that.

[1285] that will drag you into jail for that.

[1286] Yeah.

[1287] It's ridiculous.

[1288] Yeah.

[1289] And the next day, a whole day I just felt like I was like on muscle relaxers.

[1290] It was fucked up.

[1291] That's probably GHP.

[1292] Yeah, somebody probably whacked you out.

[1293] Because I have friends who've done GHP before and they've done too much.

[1294] And then they just go limp.

[1295] Like they'll be at a bar and then like Eddie.

[1296] Eddie did it once and he did too much.

[1297] Wow.

[1298] And he just like couldn't walk.

[1299] Like his body just stopped working.

[1300] His body just went limp.

[1301] Yeah.

[1302] like my mind was normal but my body was drunk and my eyes were drunk that's so weird man do you have any idea who might have done it no i mean there was a lot of crazy i mean david arquette was there and so i said hi to david but there was also some people that i knew there and uh i talked to them for a bit but then i'm like been replaying it over in my head over and over again and i can't think of like i i could almost think that maybe what if i just grabbed the wrong drink like i grabbed a strippers drink by mistake or something or Wow.

[1303] And someone was trying to roofie them.

[1304] Yeah.

[1305] Yeah, who knows?

[1306] I mean, you might have been annoying.

[1307] I was only there for an hour, though.

[1308] Like, I literally had a spot, and I was driving home, and I was driving by it.

[1309] I'm like, oh, you know, I haven't been there in a while.

[1310] I'll just go in there and have a drink or two.

[1311] Stop him by yourself?

[1312] Yeah.

[1313] That's a real drinks in an hour.

[1314] No, my friend, my friend's a dancer there.

[1315] And, yeah, she's a quatortionist.

[1316] That's a real alcoholic move.

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] Just pull into jumbos, clown room for a couple of hours and just right out the storm three drinks in an hour that could be it too no no no no no he does that every day and these are like the small little rock glass drinks you know i mean i drink seven or eight of those the day you don't know who you're dealing with here dude i don't i don't you never drank with brian no are you a big drinker yeah you want a little drink right now we'll drink you poo no you're scared yeah what's the matter i'm sitting next to brian you're amongst friends you're amongst friends I saw what you had in there.

[1319] It didn't entice me. Nothing?

[1320] Makers, we got some, some, oh, when we talked about on the podcast, somebody contacted me about giving us a wine cooler for wine.

[1321] Not like a wine cooler.

[1322] I wouldn't drink wine cooler.

[1323] Because I'm a man. I don't drink wine coolers.

[1324] No. But I did.

[1325] What?

[1326] They're great.

[1327] Are you talking about?

[1328] I drink Zima.

[1329] They don't even have Zima anymore, do they?

[1330] They have versions of it.

[1331] They have, it's called something else, but it's the exact same thing.

[1332] People were giving me a hard time back in the day for drinking Zima.

[1333] Seema was great.

[1334] It tastes good.

[1335] To get you drunk and it tastes nice.

[1336] Did you remember tequiza?

[1337] Yes.

[1338] What is that?

[1339] Yes.

[1340] What was it?

[1341] It was like a tequila beer or something.

[1342] Yeah.

[1343] Wasn't it?

[1344] Wasn't it like Bud Light made it also?

[1345] It was what?

[1346] Yeah.

[1347] It was just, it was a beer, but it had like lime flavoring in it.

[1348] That's what it was.

[1349] And it had, but I don't know, there was kind of like a hint of a tequila.

[1350] I don't know if they were actually mixing the two.

[1351] But like some of the worst hangovers I ever had came off tequila.

[1352] Tequiza.

[1353] That's so weird.

[1354] Tequiza.

[1355] There it is.

[1356] What is this?

[1357] It's beer with agave nectar and a natural flavor of imported tequila and limes.

[1358] So no actual tequila, but the flavors.

[1359] Right.

[1360] Well, agave nectar is just sweet.

[1361] You know, agave is, it's actually not good for you.

[1362] You know, when people, like, they don't use honey.

[1363] Like, when I mock vegans, one of the things that I mock, my old special was about how they don't eat like true vegans don't use honey because they don't think it's cool to make these bees work for people but obviously it's sugar it's basically just sugar but it's better than like splinda or something would you say nope no no no in fact spenda is probably better for you because splendor doesn't give you the reaction that you're going to get like the the you know the glucose reaction yeah stevia is the best sweetener as far as like health it's like it's just a plant extract like stevia tastes sweet but it doesn't have any sugar in it at all yeah it doesn't taste that sweet it really doesn't taste as good you know the reality of stevia is it's like it's like like a sweet you know it's not a sweet like right i heard that there was even new reports that that that stevia there's not good there's bad things about stevia now well that's as real reports and research was probably done by you know the other companies that are getting their asses Yeah, come on, man. Stevia is bad for you?

[1364] Hold on.

[1365] Like every other week, something else that was good for you is now bad for you.

[1366] I mean, it's...

[1367] That is a real problem with these fucking people that create these tests.

[1368] Hold on a second.

[1369] We find out that the results were skewed just because someone funded them from some company that has a vested interest.

[1370] Why I quit Stevia?

[1371] Hmm.

[1372] Okay.

[1373] Let's see.

[1374] Is it like four reasons and number four?

[1375] blow your mind.

[1376] Stevia taxes the adrenals.

[1377] Our bodies are not designed or evolved to handle calorie -free sweeteners, be it natural or unofficial.

[1378] Experience a sweet taste from food that is not going to provide glucose confounds.

[1379] Our body's sugar handling process.

[1380] I think it's like your brain pretty much goes, hey, you know, this is sugar.

[1381] We need to work off the sugar, but then when you go there, there's no, it's not sugar, so it fucks up the Yeah, that's what they're saying.

[1382] I read it wrong.

[1383] It's a sweet taste that comes from a food that's not going to provide glucose, confounds our body's sugar handling process.

[1384] Whatever, pussy.

[1385] I just switch back to normal raw sugar.

[1386] Stivia often contains other ingredients.

[1387] Oh, there's an issue of purity.

[1388] Hmm.

[1389] We use processed stevia, not pure stevia leaves.

[1390] Obviously, if you have a pot of stevia leaves growing in your garden, you can ignore this point, but there's a bunch of other shit.

[1391] Xylitol.

[1392] That's another one.

[1393] right?

[1394] Popular sweetener made with stevia and xylitol.

[1395] Although proponents bestow the title natural to this sweetener, I've never eaten trivia because I'm not a fan of this uber -processed ingredient.

[1396] Oh, trivia.

[1397] Truvia.

[1398] Truvia is xylitol and stevia.

[1399] Stevia has an aftertaste.

[1400] Stevia diabetes.

[1401] Yeah.

[1402] Aspartame is not good for you too.

[1403] But see, you know what I think about all this stuff, including Diet Coke.

[1404] it's all in moderation.

[1405] Like, you know, you can have a real Coke if you want to.

[1406] Just don't drink them all day every day.

[1407] You know, I'm a big fan of cheat days, man. I'm a big fan of just eating really healthy and then one day going off the motherfucking rails, you know, and then bringing it all back.

[1408] Just give yourself a little day.

[1409] We don't give a fuck.

[1410] It's hard for me to do that, man. I'll eat good for a week, and then my cheat day turns into a cheat month.

[1411] Okay, let me ask you this, though.

[1412] I spiral.

[1413] You say that.

[1414] But.

[1415] You're so happy right now, right now.

[1416] You're so successful right now.

[1417] You've got so much cool shit going on.

[1418] You're on your favorite show.

[1419] I mean, like, life couldn't be better.

[1420] If you knew that the only way to keep this running, the only way was if you ate healthy by some strange, you know, metaphysical, miracle fucking magic thing.

[1421] Whereas, like, if you ate healthy food, your luck would continue to be fucking amazing.

[1422] But if you got lazy, it has nothing to do with your appearance or your talent or your mind.

[1423] But if you got lazy and deviated from the path, your luck would change.

[1424] You would be eating fucking lettuce, lettuce wraps, and raw fruit.

[1425] You wouldn't fuck around at all.

[1426] Sure.

[1427] Right?

[1428] But I love Mexican food, man. I love salsa.

[1429] You put down a basket of chips.

[1430] No, bring a second.

[1431] Like, that's what I want.

[1432] I've never been one into sweets.

[1433] It's always like the starchy carbohydrate stuff.

[1434] Do you ever have queso in Texas?

[1435] I've had it.

[1436] I'm not the biggest fan.

[1437] In Texas?

[1438] I think I just haven't had great.

[1439] Chips and queso in Texas is at a totally different level.

[1440] Before the Mexican food even comes, you're full.

[1441] You order chips and casso, you know, they go, would you like some chips in caseo?

[1442] I'm like, yes, ma 'am.

[1443] They bring over some fucking queso.

[1444] And they put some meat in it.

[1445] Oh, some jalapinos.

[1446] Oh, yeah, they have retarded queso that has like a cow in it.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] Grind up a cow.

[1449] I got a moose cooking at home right now.

[1450] Very excited.

[1451] The pressure cooker.

[1452] Really?

[1453] Where are you getting the moose?

[1454] I shot the shit out of that moose.

[1455] Oh, really?

[1456] This is some right here.

[1457] No shit.

[1458] Yeah.

[1459] That's it?

[1460] Yeah, that's it, man. That's pretty rad.

[1461] It's delicious.

[1462] But I'm cooking it today over 10 hours.

[1463] This moose roast in one of those pressure cookers.

[1464] Oh, it's so delicious, man. How many pounds of meat do you get out of that?

[1465] $400.

[1466] Shit.

[1467] Jesus Christ.

[1468] It's crazy.

[1469] Did you have to buy a new freezer or did you have it?

[1470] No, I bought a separate.

[1471] I had one commercial freezer, but after I shot the moose, I bought another one.

[1472] Just.

[1473] to just to have the room for it you should experiment with making jerky because dude i'm making all kinds of things are you yeah yeah yeah i've been making i've been doing roasts roasts for the new thing i do it in the green mountain grill i serum on the outside on a um like a cast iron frying pan and then uh i slowly cook it in the green mountain grill for like 40 45 minutes because you know it's not not that big a roast it's only for like four people and then uh this one i'm doing a pressure cooker but i'm also i got a bunch of recipes from steve rinella So I'm going to do meatloaf.

[1474] I'm going to make ground meatloaf with spinach and cheese inside of it.

[1475] Wow.

[1476] I've been enjoying cooking, man. Cooking is fun.

[1477] You know, if you have the time and, you know, you're so inclined, it's a cool little art project.

[1478] Like, I never think of cooking as, like, art. But when it comes out, it's good.

[1479] Like, get this little kind of arty satisfaction.

[1480] I made something.

[1481] Like, I made this, and now we're going to eat it.

[1482] This is kind of cool.

[1483] There was this video I recently saw showing you how to cook the best steak.

[1484] And you need to use a grill.

[1485] What you do is you take this.

[1486] this big piece of meat, you put it in the oven and you slow cook it in the oven for like an hour or something.

[1487] And then you just put it on a really hot skillet for like two minutes just to just to sear the outside.

[1488] And it's like the perfect temperature.

[1489] It's like red throughout the whole thing, not like, you know, red.

[1490] Because when you cook it on a grill, it's usually red in the middle and then it slowly goes out, you know, where it's like less red, you know, the closer it is.

[1491] This is like right when you cut it in, it's all the exact color throughout the whole thing, the way you do it.

[1492] Who's got an hour?

[1493] See, I don't like it that way.

[1494] I've seen that way, too.

[1495] I've seen also there's a lot going around where they boil it in water with those plastic bags.

[1496] They boil it, like, not even boil it.

[1497] It's like hot water, like 125 degree water, which is below boiling.

[1498] But it's like they keep it in there for several hours.

[1499] And then you take it out and sear it.

[1500] And a lot of times people, they cook the outside actually with a flame.

[1501] They take a like a propane torch and they'll, you know, they'll char the outside to get like that crispy outer edge.

[1502] I've tried every single method to cook like a regular beef steak.

[1503] My favorite by far is lump charcoal on a regular grill.

[1504] You get that smoky, real wood taste to the steak, and you just got to know how hot it is.

[1505] It's like a trial and error thing.

[1506] You've got to know for me I take like a two -inch steak.

[1507] You need three minutes on each side, and then I put it on the upper level of the grill.

[1508] I close the lid and I cook it for another five minutes.

[1509] That's it.

[1510] And that kind of gets the inside.

[1511] Bam.

[1512] I've been doing that for a lot.

[1513] It sounds so good.

[1514] I feel so bad for people who don't eat meat.

[1515] I know.

[1516] You know, I understand.

[1517] I get it.

[1518] I get the morals and the ethics.

[1519] But those cows are going to die no matter what you do.

[1520] They're going to die.

[1521] My cousins have cows and they just sent them out to get butchered.

[1522] They got like 1 ,700 pounds of meat.

[1523] Wow.

[1524] My buddy Doug does it himself.

[1525] Sanity, does he?

[1526] My friend Doug has a, he has grass -fed cows in his farm in Wisconsin and fucking picks him out.

[1527] That's where I started getting bummed.

[1528] doubt about grass -fed cows because everybody has this idea oh grass -fed cows it's so ethical you know my cows are only grass -fed you go near these fucking cows and they panic and run they know exactly what you're right for make no mistake about this isn't like hunting this isn't like you know you see a deer the deer might not have ever even seen a person before boom the gun goes off the deer's down that's a that's like an ethical life these fucking cows that are living in the skies they can smell it Dude, we went near them and they fucking ran like we were demons.

[1529] Like we were demons that have corralled them up for slaughter because that's what we are to them.

[1530] You saw the cows being released from the milk barn for the first time where they're all jumping around like dogs and having a, like they were so happy that you just sat there and go, wow, they are so happy right now that they're, you could tell that they're just like crying with happiness.

[1531] Yeah, they were trapped in those stalls for their whole life and then they released them out into this field and they're just dancing around.

[1532] Oh, wow.

[1533] Having a good old time.

[1534] Good grief.

[1535] I think it's a fucking, it's a real shame that somehow another factory farming has become a real accepted part of the way we get food in this country.

[1536] But that said, I like meat.

[1537] Meat is so good.

[1538] I just tried goat for the first time.

[1539] I had goat before.

[1540] I had goat tacos in Houston.

[1541] Yeah.

[1542] Tacos.

[1543] That's what we did.

[1544] Did you?

[1545] Yeah, it was all right.

[1546] It was in Arizona.

[1547] Oh, yeah.

[1548] Mexican's not a party.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] But why are you saying, ooh, to that?

[1551] You know, like, 90 % of the world eats goat.

[1552] I don't like goat.

[1553] Goat taste good, dude.

[1554] Have you had it?

[1555] No, I mean, I just don't like goats, so I don't think I want to eat.

[1556] It's all in your head, dude.

[1557] I'm telling you, you wouldn't like a lot of things.

[1558] You know, if you hang out with chickens, you realize they're assholes, you know?

[1559] I told you, chickens bite my daughter's face.

[1560] I'm like, you're a fucking cunt.

[1561] I'll kill you.

[1562] Chickens are dinosaurs, man. They're dinosaurs.

[1563] You cost $3.

[1564] And my chickens are sweet.

[1565] you know because they get pet they get picked up and they'll still bite your fucking face they're stupid as shit their brains are your thumbnail i mean they literally decided they don't know what's going on they're not doing it on purpose they're just trying to survive do you have a problem with coyotes getting your chickens i saw coyote get my chicken oh really yeah yeah oh my god i have to get i've been slacking on this but i have to get i have to hire someone who they have this urban coyote capture thing because the thing about we have 24 well we used to have 24 chickens my The dog killed one, and the coyote killed another one.

[1566] But I saw the coyote jump my fence with the fucking chicken in his mouth.

[1567] So I realized, okay, now I see how the coyotes.

[1568] I had a fountain that was near the fence, and the coyote would jump to the top of the fountain and jump over the fence.

[1569] I was like, oh, you son of a bitch.

[1570] So I took the fountain down and reinforced the areas where the coyote was getting in, but they know there's food there, and they know there's a lot of food there.

[1571] There's 24 or 22 now.

[1572] Yeah.

[1573] Yeah, 22 chickens.

[1574] So I have to hire somebody.

[1575] They do these urban traps, and they set them up all around.

[1576] I'm not an urban area, but they set them up around your house, and they capture these coyotes, and they fucking bang, bang them.

[1577] They kill them.

[1578] Wow.

[1579] My cousins live.

[1580] Urban traps.

[1581] It's like a swap meat or something.

[1582] Urban traps.

[1583] It's a gold chain next to a...

[1584] It's a foot locker.

[1585] It's a pair of Jordans next to a...

[1586] one of those little lassoes or a noose little ankle noose is he's announcing no and I don't want to talk about it you don't like connie no I'm a fucking grown man I'm not I'm not you and Jamie need to call each other on the phone and talk about shit that nobody else gives a fuck about it's male ughs oh my god stop just don't just don't brown we have fucking Josh McDurrent from the Walking Dead you want to talk about Kanye West and his oaths you're 40 years old you want to talk about Kanye I've been telling him that for you years.

[1587] He's a fucking grown man. He's a grown man, but he's not.

[1588] Like, somehow another, when we sucked him out of Columbus and brought him to Los Angeles, we've stifled his growth.

[1589] He actually went back.

[1590] He went back.

[1591] He was 30 then, and he's 12 now.

[1592] That's completely opposite of what I've been figuring out lately.

[1593] Oh, you have figured it all out.

[1594] Joe, do you remember when I first moved here, like, like, I didn't really have any friends so, like, we would just, like, once in a while, like, hang out and stuff.

[1595] There was, like, videos of me just sitting in my computer room like my first week here and I was like mentally challenged retard I don't even know why you would talk to me back then I mean it's...

[1596] You make good videos That's the problem is the thing that you do really well You don't even do I've gotten back into it You please go back into it I need to go on the road with you sometime to do something He's very talented like his video editing skills are amazing That's what I initially hired him for Because he's really good And then he became a podcaster which he's challenged at he's challenged at communicating he's challenged at thinking about things that challenge is often his strength but his video skills i think no bullshit no and i'm not saying this just because you're here you're one of the best video editors i've ever seen like your you're like your sense of like timing and like you're editing and the way you splice things together you create something that doesn't exist like you you're capable of like you put these weird touches on things and weird sounds and music and edit you have a real feel for it man like you have a real talent like if you really pursued that you you could be rich i mean you really could be i mean you should you should you should be like a guy that people seek out to make their music videos and shit like you have a weird sense of how to put things together it's a real talent man who who edited your last special i did could have been you man Good have been you, Brian.

[1597] Joe's having to do it himself.

[1598] There's not much editing.

[1599] It's just like...

[1600] That's just camera cuts.

[1601] That's not...

[1602] There's no editing.

[1603] What I'm talking about, like, he did some stuff.

[1604] Look at the Austin v. It was my favorite one.

[1605] That's a great one.

[1606] Yeah, you know, the Little Austin.

[1607] Yeah, the dude that had the, uh, that was born with no arms.

[1608] No, no, no. I'm talking about the Joey Diaz.

[1609] It was me, uh, little Esther, you and Joey Diaz.

[1610] That was a great one, too.

[1611] Yeah.

[1612] And just because, uh, the editing, the audio editing.

[1613] Because I pretty much remixed music to go with every, everything.

[1614] Yeah.

[1615] It was fun.

[1616] Dude, you're really fucking talented with that.

[1617] I really think it's your calling in life.

[1618] You know, it's like, as Joey Diaz is meant to be a stand -up comic, you're meant to be a video editor.

[1619] I have more fun doing stand -up comedy.

[1620] Oh, I know you do.

[1621] I know, because it's immediate.

[1622] It's immediate gratification.

[1623] But you do shit that I can't do.

[1624] I don't have that mind.

[1625] My mind does not work that way.

[1626] I'm trying to get back into it.

[1627] And then this new computer is finally getting to the point where it's so much, the rendering thing was the thing that I hated.

[1628] And the reason that made me stop.

[1629] And we're just sitting there waiting for hours.

[1630] For hours.

[1631] What about those new Macs, those tubes, those Super Mac, the tower?

[1632] Well, it's funny because you'd think that would be the best computer because I mean, I just bought a new computer.

[1633] And researching those, you realize that they're using a different processor that isn't really that good for video editing as compared to the I -7 processor that the IMAX use.

[1634] So if you look at rendering times on one of those machines versus a iMac, the iMac even comes across being faster in a lot of the tests because those use zion processors, which aren't really, I don't know why they use zion processors.

[1635] So is it because the software is optimized for that certain processors?

[1636] Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah.

[1637] God, this is really boring.

[1638] No wonder you left video editing.

[1639] Well, he would call me, like, you know, after he'd edited for like 12 hours ago, I'm going fucking crazy.

[1640] I don't think I could do this anymore I'm almost done but I'm going fucking crazy But the process The result was amazing I just think you got a very unique talent That was also back in the days When we were using mini DV tapes So in order to edit I had to transfer every single tape onto my computer then look at it And then go through the 50 hours Now I mean You just pull a card out Slip it in You know what you should do While you're single You should do some sort of uh brian reviews massage paulers i'm scared of that place at those places now yeah because my favorite place got busted and now that they're all fake cops that work there and yeah but would you go to jail do you go to jail for going you just got to play dumb oh yeah you go to no you just got to play dumb he's going to go i'm here to get my feet rubbed rub my feet yeah you know i'm here to get a foot massage true you know do you want anything else hey whatever you want to do i'm just here i'm just going to close my eyes you do what you want to do.

[1641] Yeah.

[1642] And if you want a hundred bucks, you know, you just do what you want to do, and I'll just lay back here.

[1643] I tip good.

[1644] Yeah, I mean, I'm a good tip.

[1645] I just like massages.

[1646] I'm just going to sit here, you know me. Were you going there because you got a little something extra, or was it, they got busted after the fact, and you were like, wait, I didn't even know.

[1647] He doesn't know.

[1648] You don't know about rub maps.

[1649] Yeah, and this is my favorite website that I read every single day.

[1650] Oh, you do know that.

[1651] He doesn't know.

[1652] He's playing dumb.

[1653] He's being all Hollywood on us.

[1654] Josh McDermann, you've come a long way since Phoenix.

[1655] No, I mean, it's great, but it's, it is something that also you have to think about, like, the sex slave industry thing, you'll run into places where you're just like, this person does not want to be here.

[1656] Like right now where I live, this is one of the craziest things.

[1657] I found, there's this apartment or this old house next to me, and they have like a garage, a separate garage out back, just this little small garage.

[1658] And I saw somebody, come out of it the other day and I'm like what the fuck there's why is there some Asian girl in there and then like a couple days later uh somebody opened up the door and there's like four people living in this little garage about the size of my car like I mean it's just it's it's ridiculous and they're just living there and that's the kind of shit that freaks me out okay but is that just people that like you know some people come here from another country and they're poor and they have a relative here the relative says look you can sleep in my garage until you get on your feet we'll set up some beds it's warm We're in Burbank.

[1659] You don't have to worry about it.

[1660] It doesn't get cold at night.

[1661] Or are they sex slaves?

[1662] I don't know because they looked like they were just miserable.

[1663] That's the reality of prostitution being illegal, man. That's a big part of the problem.

[1664] If prostitution was completely legal and like a massage, I mean, which it should be.

[1665] I mean, I don't want to give people massages, okay?

[1666] I also don't want to give anybody any blowjobs.

[1667] But there's some people that don't care.

[1668] They like giving massages.

[1669] They don't mind giving blow jobs for 300 bucks instead of working at Denny's for three days for 300 bucks.

[1670] And they wouldn't even get 300 bucks to work there for three days.

[1671] They could blow you for five minutes and make 300 bucks.

[1672] Some people would do that.

[1673] And that's their prerogative as adult human beings.

[1674] Our issue is legality and these weird ethics that we attach to sexuality over everything else we do.

[1675] Like everything else you do where people serve you.

[1676] Well, people will serve you drinks.

[1677] serve you food.

[1678] They don't fucking want to.

[1679] Nobody wants to bring you your meat.

[1680] Nobody wants to, Mr. McDermott, would you like some crack pepper on that salad?

[1681] He doesn't want to put fucking pepper on your salad.

[1682] Right.

[1683] That guy's only doing it because he wants your money.

[1684] I mean, he's hoaring himself out.

[1685] And I mean, it's in the nicest way possible.

[1686] He's not really, but I mean, he's doing it for money.

[1687] You know, it's a job.

[1688] It's a great job.

[1689] There's nothing wrong with being a waiter.

[1690] Don't get me wrong.

[1691] But it's also nothing wrong than having sex.

[1692] I mean, we have this crazy idea in our head that sex is evil and nasty.

[1693] Oh, you're paying for sex.

[1694] You get money for sex.

[1695] You fucking whore.

[1696] Somebody pays you and then they touch you.

[1697] You fucking bitch.

[1698] It's craziness.

[1699] We have these weird attachments that are completely socially constructed.

[1700] We've decided that these things are bad.

[1701] The real issue is that stuff.

[1702] It's sex slavery.

[1703] You're not talking about a woman who's like just a grown woman, a mature woman who decides on her own.

[1704] You know, it's just sex.

[1705] It gives a shit.

[1706] It's a, it's a, It's a fine way to pay my bills, and I can go travel, and I'll do whatever the fuck I want with my life, and I'll be independent.

[1707] It's not, those are not the victims.

[1708] The real issue is when you have things illegal, then everything has to be seedy and hidden and, you know, in the darkness and underground, and then you get things like sex, slavery, and it's very analogous to the drug war.

[1709] One of the real reasons why the drug war exists is because drugs are illegal.

[1710] One of the real reasons why there's so much crime in Mexico that's related to the drug trade is directly because drugs aren't legal.

[1711] If drugs were legal, you wouldn't have criminals that are selling drugs.

[1712] And if criminals weren't selling drugs, you'd be able to buy drugs the same way you go to fucking CVS and buy liquor.

[1713] There's no fucking gang wars over whiskey.

[1714] It's not happening.

[1715] Right.

[1716] Whiskey's sold and it's taxed and everybody seems to be fine.

[1717] Other than the fact that people drink it and do stupid shit while they're on it, There's no violence and no murder and no crime attached to the production of fine whiskey.

[1718] Yeah.

[1719] It's just, and that's how it should be with sex.

[1720] And that's how it should be with everything.

[1721] We are adult human beings.

[1722] If you want to pay someone to rub your feet, you should be able to do it.

[1723] Could you imagine if like back massages were somehow or another deemed morally outrageous and you couldn't go and get a massage?

[1724] Like, you know those places at the airport where you sit down and you put your face in that chair and they'd come over and rub your back.

[1725] What if they sucked your dick?

[1726] I've tried.

[1727] Listen, I'll put a blanket over us.

[1728] Nobody needs to know.

[1729] If you went to a place like that and they gave you hand jobs, it would be the most glorious thing ever.

[1730] If you went to that place and there was a beautiful Russian lady and she took you into this quiet room and she just cupped your balls with one hand and jerked you off with the other, well, you had an iPad, you're watching porn.

[1731] Oh, it'd be the greatest thing ever.

[1732] I want to know what consent, like, what's the difference between, like, if you go on back page and you see they have escorts, then they have legit massages where they bring a table over to your house and they massage you.

[1733] They're all in the same category?

[1734] Yeah.

[1735] Then they have body sliders where it's like they bring like a big inflatable raft that you have like in a swimming pool and then you get naked and then they put oil over you and they just slide their naked body on you and that you're not fucking.

[1736] But it's like, is that illegal?

[1737] Or, like, what makes it you have to have insertion?

[1738] I mean, it just doesn't seem like escorting can be, you can be caught for it.

[1739] Because, like, if you really, I don't know, it just seems like what's the law with that?

[1740] How much for a body slider, though?

[1741] $150, usually, for a half hour.

[1742] Do they define what a body slider is?

[1743] There's videos of it.

[1744] There's actually videos on YouTube.

[1745] It's, I mean, it sounds great, but you sound like that's just a...

[1746] See, that's one of those things where it's like, it's like, it's just...

[1747] It's, again, it's like a cultural thing.

[1748] Like, what is a body slider?

[1749] You know, like, you have to define it.

[1750] Because, like, you know, what's a sandwich?

[1751] Everybody knows a sandwich is some shit that's in between two slices of bread.

[1752] If you order a sandwich, someone brings you a pizza.

[1753] You're like, what the fuck is this?

[1754] This is what we call a sandwich?

[1755] You know, what do you call a body slider in northern California?

[1756] It's the same as a body slider in Chicago?

[1757] What's a fucking body slider, man?

[1758] Right.

[1759] It's all underground, sneaky shit.

[1760] Yeah, body slides, and you just sit there with, like, a boner out, And they just pretty much rub their whole body on your, your boner, body, boobs.

[1761] Like, it's just no insertion, but it's pretty much everything else.

[1762] But is that illegal?

[1763] I say no. If no insertion, I don't think it's illegal.

[1764] So it's just insertion.

[1765] But I think if you come, it's probably illegal.

[1766] Right.

[1767] That's where all the fucking, that's where the hullabaloo is.

[1768] It's about orgasming.

[1769] Nobody, it's a bunch of haters.

[1770] They don't want you to come.

[1771] Is there like a five -second rule, like if you come, but you put it in your mouth real quick?

[1772] It doesn't count because it's going back in your body.

[1773] That's disgusting, man. Why is it disgusting?

[1774] It came out of your body two seconds, you know?

[1775] Shut the fuck up.

[1776] Seriously.

[1777] Just think before you say something like that.

[1778] Imagine that undercover cop who got assigned a body sliding.

[1779] How about the undercover cop that watches him eat his own cum?

[1780] No, five -second rule.

[1781] Five -second rule.

[1782] I mean, do you guys...

[1783] What do you know what are you talking?

[1784] I don't see any cum.

[1785] I always find it weird, though.

[1786] Like, if you have a goober in your mouth and you could feel it, it's one of those thick ones.

[1787] And then you spit it on a piece.

[1788] of paper the idea of you now licking that back up is the most grossest thing in the real but just a second ago you were in your mouth just tasting it's true wishing it around because you don't think about it yeah it's out of sight out of mind you don't have to look at it it's when you look at it you know kind of gross stuff well it's like if you had to take a shit you know that's one thing you're like oh i can't wait to take a shit and you get on that toilet it comes up but if you had to stuff that shit back in your asshole if you had to reach in there with rubber gloves on and just pack your own ass, repack it.

[1789] That might be one of the worst things you could ever do.

[1790] Like, taking a shit is amazing.

[1791] I love taking a dump, you know?

[1792] When you hold it in for just a little bit, not a long time.

[1793] A little extra 20 minutes and you get on that toilet just, ah, you feel those logs just fucking barreling down the river.

[1794] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

[1795] I went to, I took a dump at the mall the other day.

[1796] And I've been trying to eat healthier, eating more greens and stuff.

[1797] So it came out, like, very earthy, right?

[1798] It wasn't anything horrible.

[1799] It just smelled, and I flushed.

[1800] And then the guy came in to clean the restroom and started choking.

[1801] And I felt so good.

[1802] And he just, I can hear him, like, trying to clean up.

[1803] And then he just goes, at the end, he just goes, he was in there about two minutes.

[1804] And he goes, it smells like fucking shit.

[1805] And he just left.

[1806] I was like, oh.

[1807] Oh, yeah.

[1808] Like, that was like a highlight of my life.

[1809] Yeah, like you scored on him.

[1810] Oh, my God.

[1811] You did, you scored on him.

[1812] He fucking shit in a bathroom that guy's got to go in there right after you.

[1813] He chokes.

[1814] Oh, I felt sorry.

[1815] And I had flushed.

[1816] So it wasn't like it was still sitting there stewing.

[1817] Like, it was post -flush.

[1818] Well, there's nothing worse than when you have to shit really bad, and the only option is a porta -potty.

[1819] And you're at a concert, and there's 20 people behind you, and there's a long -ass line.

[1820] Yeah.

[1821] And you go in there and you plop down.

[1822] You're shitting on other people's shit that is on top of other people's shit, which is on other people's shit, which is all in smurf juice.

[1823] And you're just dropping logs on top of pre -existing logs and just gagging.

[1824] Meanwhile, the band's playing your favorite song.

[1825] Freebird.

[1826] No, fuck, you're going to get my pants up.

[1827] That's why I was here.

[1828] Did you, I saw this online.

[1829] They had a thing about the porta -potties.

[1830] Like, the whole point of them is you're supposed to close the lid.

[1831] and then that will take the scent out up through this, like, funnel, like this tube, and release the scent up there.

[1832] But the reason Port -a -Potty smell so bad is because everyone just leaves the lid up.

[1833] Someone wants to touch it.

[1834] Oh, God.

[1835] Yeah.

[1836] That's all bullshit.

[1837] It stinks.

[1838] It's a fucking confined space.

[1839] You're shitting in a phone booth.

[1840] It's not going anywhere.

[1841] That smells everywhere.

[1842] I think as a society, we could try it.

[1843] If it's still going to stink, we could at least give it a shot.

[1844] In The Walking Dead, do you guys shit out in the woods?

[1845] Do you drop logs in the woods?

[1846] We got trailers out there that have.

[1847] Uh, like, like, their air condition, they're down to like 50 degrees.

[1848] So it's like 90 degrees outside and then we, I mean, I'm finding excuses to take a dump.

[1849] Do you sometimes have like long downtime in between scenes?

[1850] You could take a nice fat nap.

[1851] Yeah.

[1852] I used to love those.

[1853] If you can, I mean, well, because a lot of times, because we shoot on location, so everything, it takes a while to get back to, like, your trailer where like I have a couch or something I could sleep on.

[1854] And so there, there's, it's rare that, uh, they would make you sit for that long.

[1855] far away are you from like the set like if your trailer is one place how far away is the set where you're filming um it's usually it's always less than 10 minutes you were telling us before that you get there at 5 o 'clock in the morning but when are you done you didn't say when you were oh um well we'll use up all the sunshine so like it the sunsets about 9 p .m. in Georgia 9 p .m. in the summer wow so you're working long yeah so they try and schedule it because i think you know there's like a with the actors union you have like a turnaround like you 12 hours 12 hours and if they make you come back with you know shorter than the 12 hour turnaround they have to pay you and um so i i don't know yeah i actually it's because i'm a i'm considered a local actor um a local hire because i live in atlanta then they there's like some rules around that where they don't have to pay me all the time did you get apartment in atlanta or did you You rent a house or you surround an apartment.

[1856] And when you come back to L .A., did you keep an apartment in L .A.?

[1857] Or do you just stay here for a little bit?

[1858] I kept one here, and then I'm going to have that as long as I'm on the show.

[1859] Because I don't know when I'll get killed off, but I'm not going to want to go find a new place.

[1860] I like where I live now.

[1861] Do you ever go to the producer and go, listen, I'm about to re -sign my lease?

[1862] Is there anything I should know?

[1863] That's a good question.

[1864] Apparently that happened with one of the actors who were like at the start of the season because they're secretive.

[1865] to us.

[1866] Of course.

[1867] You know, but they were like, hey, so I have a feeling I'm being set up to be killed.

[1868] Should I, you know, I don't want to sign the lease.

[1869] I'm like, no, no, no, no, you're fine.

[1870] And they went and signed the lease and then they get killed.

[1871] Wow.

[1872] What the fuck, man. Did they go to them and go, hey, what the fuck?

[1873] Yeah, they were pretty upset.

[1874] But then there was another guy who literally got it out of Lawrence Gilliard, who plays Bob, the guy who got his leg chopped off and eaten by the cannibals.

[1875] he didn't want to sign the lease because he had a feeling he was about to go and so he actually got the producers to tell him like he sat in the meeting with them until he wouldn't leave until they told him like yeah you're going to die in episode three or whatever I don't get that it was because he was about to sign a lease that's it yeah so he's like look this is going to cost me 10 ,000 bucks or 12 million bucks so he just didn't want to you know I mean obviously you can break a lease but you're still paying for that but he got it out of them and then of course like you know they didn't tell us said he was dying and I'm sitting there like texting him like hey man where you live in this season this and he's like radio silent and then I figured out that they were going to kill him like why would he be avoiding me right now uh it's not telling me where he's living it was just weird you know whatever when you shot when you had that scene we shot that one scene where you shot up the truck and like shot the gas tank and all that stuff like how much of that was real like did you you you were shooting a gun was it blanks or were you actually shooting at that car because it seemed like you were actually hitting that car yeah it was half and half so they did so they give you blanks but then they tell you once you're out you know just keep firing or mimicking like you're you're firing the weapon and then um you know because they'll cut it around and everything i think there's only like 20 rounds in that clip you know and i think if you really look at it i was probably fired like over a hundred shots that's a fucking problem with revolvers but it's easy it's easy it costs like five bucks to put in a muzzle flash uh in like post production You know, so they're like, you know, so just keep jerking the gun like you're firing away.

[1876] And so I did that.

[1877] And, but then what they do is they had these guys because we were right next to a cornfield and they had our special effects guys like perched on some ladders with these like paintball guns with these exploding, I don't know, the pellets that, you know, kind of spark off.

[1878] So like when I go and I shoot up the truck, they're fire, actually the ones firing the truck and beep, beep, beep, and it just hits on the truck.

[1879] That's sweet.

[1880] So that was really cool because they used to have.

[1881] to like run this line of um of charges or whatever and have those explode at one time well when you when you kill a zombie like what is actually happening like because some of it is obviously so cg ie right like the blood looks fake it looks you know it's almost like they do it so it's not too realistic so they they could show it almost like the craziness of the blood is almost like yeah it varies because the one scene in terminus when they beat the people over the head and then cut their throat That looked real as fuck That was super disturbing With that they had These tubes that were just tied around their neck And even everyone on set was going like Oh this looks totally fake And they're like no no no we'll color that out later And the tubes were actually like gushing out the blood And so when they cut So they do the motion to cut And I think they either had like a rubber knife Or a lot of times they have a knife That's just the handle With some like green tape on the end And it's so it's not a full knife Or machete sort of thing and then they paint that in later Oh, the knife is CGI Yeah, so like if I got this water bottle And there's no blade on the end of it I just use that and then they can just paint that in And make it look like a knife as they cut my throat So cool And then they just painted out the tube So that all that was left was just blood gushing out into the trough It's pretty fucking awesome It looks so real That looked awful That was brutal man Well that whole scene was like It was so It was hard to see how these people could become those people.

[1882] It was so hard, especially when they would show the background on them, like how they, what they were when the whole outbreak first happened, like they were normal, and then they became cannibals.

[1883] And then they're just treating and they're marking down on clipboards where they're beating people over the head with bats.

[1884] It's all the fadical, yeah.

[1885] It was really weird.

[1886] It was almost too over the top because it was like, God, I can't see anybody that I know getting to that point where they club someone and turn them into a stick.

[1887] Yeah.

[1888] You know, but...

[1889] But at this point, you've got to survive, you've got to eat.

[1890] Terrifying, though.

[1891] But all that CGI stuff, Michone, the girl with the sword, like, her sword is fake usually, and that's all painted in after the fact.

[1892] So what does her sword look like when she's swinging it around?

[1893] It's just the handle.

[1894] That's it.

[1895] Just the handle, yeah.

[1896] Just a handle.

[1897] There's no sword.

[1898] So they have a real sword, but they rarely ever have it out and use it, you know?

[1899] Like, they might use it if she's just, like, presenting it to someone or whatever, but then they have like a rubber sword that looks exactly like it or plastic so that you know for safety reasons but then they just have a lot of them that are either like a half nub or just no sword at all just the handle she has the best weapon she does that was one thing that i learned if the zombies are coming and then not those 28 days later zombies that fucking sprint at you yeah if those slow ass zombies you want to have a samurai sword yeah i would have a great old fucking time that's one of the things that i didn't understand about the prison when everybody was like you know all these zombies are pushing up against that wall I'm like there's not that many give me a sword let me let me go out there and start popping them yeah have a great time just start fucking hacking heads off that's kind of the sad thing is that we'll never really get to experience that oh you say that you never know with all these liberals today and they're denying of the Lord the demons may rise all this gay marriage and transgender mayors and all kinds of shit going on the world I would take that samurai sword over basically any weapon because it's not too heavy.

[1900] Like if you had like Conan's sword, like a big broad sword.

[1901] That'd be tough.

[1902] That's heavy.

[1903] You'd have to be real tough.

[1904] Some, you know, built like the rock or something.

[1905] I'd like an aluminum bat.

[1906] Yeah, but they don't always die, you know.

[1907] That's another confusing thing about the zombies.

[1908] You just got to poke them in the eye and they're dead.

[1909] Like it seems like you just get into their head.

[1910] Get their brain.

[1911] And it's super easy to stab someone in the temple apparently.

[1912] And the knife just goes right in there like it's butter Is it the zombie blood that makes you a zombie Or do any secretions?

[1913] No Can you fuck a zombie in the butt And would you become a zombie if you fuck the zombie in the butt?

[1914] I don't think so but you're already infected So who cares?

[1915] Yeah, you're already infected which is weird Because like when the guy got bit Last night, that episode He got bit But if he just cauterizes that wound Does he become a zombie?

[1916] I fucked them up think, well, I'm not the expert on this, but I think.

[1917] They didn't think this shit through.

[1918] I don't think they thought this shit through.

[1919] Yeah, actually, the whole show sucks.

[1920] I think if the infect, you know, because you're already infected or you already, you already have what's, you know, that's inside you.

[1921] If you die, you're going to turn.

[1922] But if you get bit, then that infection is going to come in and trigger whatever's inside of you.

[1923] So if you cut off your arm like they did and cauterize it, then you're probably okay, because they did that with Herschel in his leg.

[1924] Yeah.

[1925] You know?

[1926] yeah that was weird you know that was like okay you just guys just fuck with the rules because it used to be something bites you and then it gets in your bloodstream and like you know well they've been fucking with the rules since the beginning even in the pilot um because zombies aren't supposed to have any sort of like recollection of them being normal humans and there was like a little girl at that gas station who walks by and just bends down and picks up her little teddy bear that was hers and tucks it up and walks away but her face is all mangled she's He's a zombie at that point.

[1927] Because Frank Darabont was like, fuck the rules.

[1928] I'm going to do my own thing.

[1929] I like that guy, you know?

[1930] You're just got a medieval times to get some chain mill, right?

[1931] Wouldn't you just wear like a night outfit?

[1932] Yeah, you would just dress up like a riot police.

[1933] Yeah, man. Why'd you do that?

[1934] Do it.

[1935] Riot police, like they have that, the Kevlar.

[1936] They can't bite through that shit.

[1937] They can't bite through that.

[1938] Their teeth would break.

[1939] Yeah, you can't even fucking stab someone to do that shit.

[1940] There's a guy who made like the, a shark bite suit.

[1941] Did you see this?

[1942] Yeah.

[1943] And I, so I did some shark after dark during Shark Week.

[1944] You did Shark After Dark?

[1945] Yeah, have you heard of this show?

[1946] You know Josh Wolf, right?

[1947] The comic?

[1948] Yeah.

[1949] So he hosts it, and they just talk all about sharks and all this stuff.

[1950] And this guy comes on and he had this, like, chain mail suit that is supposedly bite -proof.

[1951] And they were stabbing, Josh was wearing it.

[1952] They were stabbing him with a knife, and the knife was bending.

[1953] And they were trying to stab him in the chest.

[1954] but the guy was showing us how, you know, you can just take a knife, and he had the glove on, and he was slicing, like, the webbing in between his fingers, and everyone's like, oh, my God, oh, whatever.

[1955] And then they gave me an ice pick, and he put his hand out, and kind of like that movie Alien, I had to go in between his fingers and do that.

[1956] And they told me beforehand, they go, go ahead and, like, you know, pop them in the hand a few times because it's not going to hurt him or anything.

[1957] And so I did that, and then I just started just jamming the ice pick into his hand.

[1958] and apparently I broke his hand Oh my God You broke his hand?

[1959] I broke his hand Josh told me that How are we jamming it?

[1960] Oh dude it was I was pounding man But I'm like the producers told me that it was okay But he's like oh he was like Oh okay And some people that were with me were like Oh dude I think you heard him I'm like no he's playing it up They said he couldn't get hurt But then Josh tells me like a month later It's like yeah you broke that dude's hand Wow That's hilarious I felt good I'm stronger than a shark That's the one thing that would freak you out Like if a shark got a hold of your arm It's gonna snap your fucking arm like a twig It's just like a swimming muscle Like I've seen a lot of guys get their arms broken in fights Where they get kicked and they're blocking the kick And the shin hits their eye I saw one just last night I was watching Access TV Legacy kickboxing This guy got kicked blocked it And his arm just went limp in the middle Just start dangling low Oh God And he's still fighting He's trying to, he threw a knee, and he sees his arm, like, flopping around.

[1961] Did you hear about Hector Lombard?

[1962] Yes.

[1963] Another one test positive.

[1964] Jesus.

[1965] Did UFC and MMA in general is a steroid epidemic?

[1966] Really?

[1967] They've started this, like, really stringent testing, and everybody's getting popped.

[1968] They're just getting popped left and right.

[1969] I mean, it's one of the things that fighters have been saying for a long time that everyone's on steroids.

[1970] That, you know, a huge percentage, give him number, 50, 60, whatever the fuck it is, that are on steroids.

[1971] apparently your body just can't the idea of a normal training camp which is fighters will work out sometimes three times a day they'll do maybe they'll run and do like sprints in the morning then they'll do some kind of strength and conditioning in the afternoon and then they'll do wrestling or jujitsu at night and they'll vary like the next day they'll do kickboxing in the morning and running in the afternoon and then weightlifting at night and they mix it up but you're talking about working out three times in a day because you have all these different skills that you have to work on you have to work on your wrestling you have to work on kickboxing jujitsu and there's just not enough time in the day and there's not enough time for your body to heal so that's where it comes in doctor feel good it comes along yeah yeah yeah bang what do you think though with like you know sylva was injured and they were saying that maybe the doctor that he was working with had has had a past of you know, over prescribing, you know, amounts of steroids or legal steroids.

[1972] You're saying maybe or he has?

[1973] No, he has.

[1974] I saw something the other day where a, what's his doctor's name?

[1975] He's like a Brazilian doctor that.

[1976] That's okay, whatever his name is.

[1977] But I guess in the past, this other fighter was like, yeah, he, I was approved to use this kind of steroid or something like that for an injury, and he gave me too much.

[1978] and then I, you know, which caused me to be like seven months of being penalized, you know, out of the UFC.

[1979] And I forget this fighter's name, but he says, you know, that's what's happened to Silva.

[1980] Silva, he's like been fighting since 17.

[1981] He's never touched steroids.

[1982] You know, he's been working this injury, and it might just be that, right?

[1983] It could be.

[1984] There's a lot of it could be that.

[1985] But another issue is there was a TV show they did a long time ago back from Anderson's house.

[1986] And one of the things they saw in the background was pen tips for nortotropin.

[1987] It was on the shelf, a very specific box that has pen tips.

[1988] Nordotropin is a type of human growth hormone pen.

[1989] And you take this human growth hormone, you inject it in someone's body.

[1990] And so that might not have been his.

[1991] So who knows.

[1992] UFC fighter claims some doctor who screwed up his TRT has now victimized Anderson Silva.

[1993] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1994] Listen, you can't listen to these guys, though, because there's a lot of, yeah, see, Bigfoot, you know, he's blaming a doctor for him taking an abnormally high dose of testosterone.

[1995] May be true, may not be true, but it's within his best interest to say that the doctor is at fault, and it's not his fault.

[1996] The doctor said he was going to sue him because the doctor's like, you know, you're lying, I didn't do anything unethical or outrageous to you, and everything you wanted me to do I did for you.

[1997] Who the fuck knows who's telling the truth?

[1998] It's totally a he -said -she -sa thing.

[1999] It turns into a game.

[2000] But Anderson was coming back from a broken leg, and he tested positive for, the way I understand it, metabolites, which means it was leaving his system.

[2001] It was a very trace amount.

[2002] If that is the case, it could very well be that he got on some steroids so that he could heal up quicker.

[2003] Because what steroids do is they allow you to recover quicker.

[2004] So if he's 39 years old and he broke his fucking leg, you're talking about a long -ass period of recovery.

[2005] or you take steroids and you recover in nine months instead of 15 months or you know fill in the black with whatever the real number is so that could be what was going on but the reality is it's illegal right you can't do it if it takes you 15 months you the excuse cannot be oh i'm going to give you some illegal drugs so that you heal quicker um this is the only reason why you take these drugs don't worry about it you'll be fine no you're never allowed to take steroids because one of the things that happens when you take steroids is it it creates permanent changes in your muscles depending upon the steroid permanent changes permanent like your your muscle density and your tendon strength and various attributes of your muscles it's been proven that some of the benefits of steroids continue permanently so it's not just when you're on them you're a fucking the hulk because a lot of these guys especially back in the day when they were fighting in pride like they i had ensign anyway who was on the podcast It was a fighter from pride.

[2006] It was totally clean.

[2007] He said, it was on his fucking contract that they said on the contract, we will not test you for steroids.

[2008] They said it on the contract.

[2009] Encourage guys to take steroids.

[2010] Wow.

[2011] So a lot of guys took it.

[2012] But you get stronger than you're supposed to be.

[2013] You're not really a person anymore.

[2014] It's like if you're a person, okay, like let's imagine.

[2015] You know, they're doing all these weird things now with genetics, where they're taking like a fucking a mouse and they're growing a human ear on its back.

[2016] and then, you know, they're taking an in human ear and inserting it in a person, which all those weird shit with people, if they take Josh McDermott and they add one -tenth of one percent rhino genes, and all of a sudden you're fucking running through brick walls and rah!

[2017] Are you even a person anymore?

[2018] If you get off that drug, but you retain a fraction of that ability, whatever the fraction is, you might, it's arguable that a person who takes steroids, especially prolonged steroid use over a long career of fighting, You know, you've fought for 15 years, been taking steroids for 15 years.

[2019] You might, you're not really technically the same as you would ever be without those steroids.

[2020] Like, you're another category.

[2021] You're a, Coca -Cola has a certain amount of ingredients, okay?

[2022] This is a bad analogy, I know.

[2023] But if you look at the ingredients of Coca -Cola and you add tequila, that is not fucking Coca -Cola anymore.

[2024] Now you have a new thing.

[2025] Shit sandwich.

[2026] Should be able to, should you be able to serve that, that Coca -Cola?

[2027] a tequila out of a coke machine?

[2028] No, you should not.

[2029] Because people are looking for Coke.

[2030] Now, human beings vary widely, biologically.

[2031] So it's not the best analogy.

[2032] But the reality is, especially as this whole steroid epidemic, is one thing we have to recognize.

[2033] The use of steroids is less than 100 years old.

[2034] Less than 100 years old in steroids and athletics.

[2035] I mean, I don't know what the fuck they were taking in the 1940s if they had anything.

[2036] Cocaine.

[2037] They did.

[2038] They did.

[2039] They did take cocaine back then.

[2040] I mean, they did.

[2041] They most certainly did.

[2042] Amphetamines have always been an issue with baseball.

[2043] Amphetamines and stimulants and things that increase your ability to concentrate and your ability to stay awake.

[2044] There's always been substances that people have taken.

[2045] But the actual use of anabolic steroids in human beings is relatively recent in human history.

[2046] And I think that as time goes on, they're going to create more and more powerful and crazier shit.

[2047] And it's going to get to the point where you're going to test negative because you're not on it anymore but your body will forever be changed like you girls will be in denial about having a fake butt oh my god it's totally my butt well because they can take the fat suck it out of your thighs pack it in your ass and it stays in your ass now you know they it stays forever when you gain weight your ass gains weight when you lose weight your ass loses weight but your ass will always have more fat than it ever did before because you've literally pack fat in there and people can lie about it and I got that scar I fell on a swing when I was little that's You're going to have men that are like that.

[2048] You're going to take a guy and you're going to give him a shot and he's going to turn into the fucking Hulk and then that shot's going to wear off and his body's going to stay the same.

[2049] And it's going to happen.

[2050] It's going to happen.

[2051] They're on their way.

[2052] There's all sorts of, like this thing that Hector Lombard got popped for today, I've never even heard of this shit before.

[2053] They're calling it DMT, which is obviously not dimethyltrimine, but it's, I'm going to try this.

[2054] What if it was?

[2055] Deso -methyl testosterone.

[2056] D -O -D -E -S -O -X -Y, D -E -S -O -X -Y, D -S -Methyl -E -Testosterone.

[2057] D -Soxy -Methy -Testosterone.

[2058] I don't know.

[2059] Whatever the fuck that is.

[2060] I've never even heard of it before.

[2061] And so it's apparently a designer anabolic steroid.

[2062] So what I think that means is that one of these steroids that's been concocted to get around the rules.

[2063] Like, you know, they had that shit, the clear that Barry Bonds was on.

[2064] The Balco scandal.

[2065] That was all about they devised a steroid that was very similar in efficacy in the way it worked, but not the same exact molecular structure as like anabolic steroids that are common.

[2066] So they were able to put it on these guys.

[2067] It was like a lotion.

[2068] You'd rub it on.

[2069] Your body would fucking get crazy.

[2070] And they would pass these tests.

[2071] You know, the tests are getting way, way more sophisticated.

[2072] So who knows?

[2073] Lombard must have.

[2074] I mean, it must have thought that he couldn't get in trouble for this shit.

[2075] I don't know.

[2076] I don't understand it.

[2077] Have you ever tried steroids shots?

[2078] No. I mean, I've had like steroid shots.

[2079] Cortisone shots, right?

[2080] Yeah, stuff like that.

[2081] But no. Dude, they used to have the shit that you could buy.

[2082] The strongest shit that I ever took, you could buy.

[2083] You could buy it in, um, you could buy it in like GNC.

[2084] And it was called mag 10.

[2085] It was ridiculous.

[2086] You take like 10 pills a day.

[2087] and you would gain like I gained like 10 pounds of muscle in like six weeks of doing it and this is how I know that it was a total steroid because first of all now it's illegal you can't sell anymore but when I got off it my dick took a vacation it's like see you dude like my testosterone just shut down it just stopped working and I was like whoa this is crazy like I couldn't get it up like my dick was broken for like two weeks fucked up Grief, man But it's some shit That you could just buy There used to be all these loopholes You could buy stuff at GNC You could just buy these things Is tribulus still legal?

[2088] No, that's legal See, those are very mild Tribulus And it's still fucked with me I remember taking that And then after a couple weeks Getting kind of like Angry or like That just really makes sense No?

[2089] No Why were you taking it?

[2090] Very mild Because I hang out with Joe Rogan man Tribulus is just a root And it does It very mildly enhances your body's production of testosterone There's another one called Tongat Ali that has a similar effect That's also like a plant -based substance That mildly enhances your body's ability to But it doesn't fuck with the production of it The thing about steroids is What happens is like you take something And it just jacks your body's levels of testosterone so then your body's natural production of testosterone shuts down and that's why like when i took that mag 10 stuff like after i got off of it my body was like yeah dude i'm not really feeling like fucking we're just gonna we'll just take a little break here i mean it took two weeks to get your wiener back but did i mean how long two weeks it was really you know i'm how long before you felt like you were maybe i mean did you feel any other side effects after going off of it or like how long did it take i felt physically weaker and then I lost some weight like I lost like muscle mass like you gain a certain amount of muscle but there was like a lot of these things that you could just buy these buy them at stores because they were like these loopholes like you know how bath salts exist do you know the whole story behind it it exists for folks who don't know because you would take something like crystal meth which is an absolutely illegal drug but if you change just one compound one molecule of that compound just alter it slightly and then sell it no one can say it's illegal because it's not illegal it's not the same thing anymore if meth is illegal and then you just tweak it a little bit like dimethyltryptamine was turned it the this is the psychedelic drug was made illegal in 1970 by the sweeping psychedelic act of 1970 but they missed five methoxy dimethyptomy which is actually stronger this n n dymethylethyptamine and then five methoxy dimethylethyptomy five methoxy dimethyptomy is like dimethythototomy like oxygen molecule attached to or something like that.

[2091] So it's just slightly different, but legal.

[2092] But if you'd smoked it, you would go to the center of the fucking universe and converge with God in the most epic journey of your life.

[2093] I mean, it's like way stronger than mushrooms.

[2094] I mean, if you took a good breakthrough dose of five MEO DMT, it'll change you for the rest of your fucking life.

[2095] And that was legal.

[2096] And it was only legal because it wasn't technically dimethyltryptamine, which was ill. So that's what this bath salts thing is.

[2097] They alter the compound slightly, and then they sell it not for human consumption.

[2098] They say bath salts, and then they sell it at grocery stores, or, I mean, you know, 7 -Elevens or wherever they want to sell.

[2099] Gas stations, mostly, I think.

[2100] And they can get away with doing that because it's not technically the same drug, and they just keep altering it.

[2101] Keep tweaking it a little bit here and tweaking it a little bit there with varying results, too, which gets really weird.

[2102] Like the difference between DMT and 5MEO DMT is profound in the effects.

[2103] Five MEO is stronger, but there's no visual experience.

[2104] The visual is just pure white, and it's like white molecules, like fractal white around you.

[2105] It doesn't have the visual effect of NN dimethylethyptamine.

[2106] N. N. dimethyotryptamine, which is what, you know, that's what ayahuasca is based on.

[2107] And it's all, it's very hallucinogenic.

[2108] like the things you see the visuals are spectacular the colors are amazing all those things are missing from five mEO which is like kissing cousins to the same drugs so it's so that's i think one of the things that's wrong with basalts is like some of them you know you tweak it one way or another and especially on different individuals have different they have biodiversity and the way they respond to different drugs you have varying effects like that fucking dude who ate that dude's face off grief just like zombies we bring it back to zombies how do you remember all that shit man drugs drugs help me remember it i take alpha brain that helps me remember it you had to have been really good in school that's terrible school that makes no sense because you you you capture so much information you were an encyclopedia of knowledge like i mean i was talking to someone the other day i don't remember who but i was just like yeah like he'll start saying something and just like 10 minutes later, you're just like, I don't, I don't even remember what you said.

[2109] There was so much information you just threw at me. And it's not like you're like, because for me, I'm always like, yeah, so then there's this one drug and it's like five and something.

[2110] But anyway, no, you like, I don't know when you learned about all this, but I guarantee it was a while ago and like you still can recall it like that.

[2111] And that's, but that's only certain.

[2112] I admire that.

[2113] It's only things that I'm interested in.

[2114] See, I have a photographic memory for some things.

[2115] Sure.

[2116] But for things that I don't give a fuck about, there's no memory.

[2117] So that's why he wasn't good in school.

[2118] He just didn't give a fuck about it.

[2119] 100%.

[2120] I remember, like, teachers that were annoying.

[2121] I remember funny things that happened in school.

[2122] I remember things that I learned that I thought was fascinating.

[2123] But if I didn't care, like, my brain only works for shit I care about.

[2124] I'm, like, completely reckless in that regard.

[2125] Like, I didn't plan for the future at all.

[2126] never graduated college Never thought about I never like man I need to figure out a way to get a real job Nope nope not gonna do it For from the jump Like I went to college for three years Like completely just so that people Didn't think I was a loser It's the only reason why I went Barely paid attention I went to UMass Boston and just fucking half -assed it I didn't even take my SATs Because when I out of college I took a year off and I was like well eventually I'll take my SATs I'll go to school I'll get a degree but I was a bullshit myself And then a year later, I was like, I got to do something.

[2127] I can't keep telling people that I'm going eventually going to go back to college.

[2128] So I started going, UMass Boston had this like continuing education program where you didn't even have to have to have SAT scores.

[2129] You just had to have not failed high school, I guess.

[2130] I don't remember how exactly went.

[2131] But I was wasting my time.

[2132] I just said it was just going and half -assing it.

[2133] And then three years in, I think they told me I couldn't come back because my grades are really bad.

[2134] So I remember I bullshitted and wrote this really eloquent response.

[2135] And I wrote it all out.

[2136] I was going to send it in.

[2137] And then I read it.

[2138] And I was like, if I put half as much effort into school as I did to bullshitting them with this really eloquent letter that I'm writing about, I don't want to go to school, then I feel like, I got to stop.

[2139] Just stop.

[2140] I am not going to get a fucking normal job.

[2141] I need to, my parents are completely disappointed to me. But it's okay.

[2142] I'm already out of the house.

[2143] So let's just, you know, let's just run with this.

[2144] You know, they didn't want me doing anything I ever did.

[2145] So let me just keep going.

[2146] So the things that I'm interested in, like back then, if you asked me questions about Taekwondo, which is what I was obsessed with back then, I would be able to tell you everything where it started, who created it, who invented this technique, who was first successful with this technique, when they changed the variability of how you use your hips.

[2147] There's one style that does it this way, another style does it that way.

[2148] This is the benefits of this.

[2149] is the benefits of that.

[2150] And then I would be able to rattle off anything about things that I was interested in.

[2151] But it was, it's like, I have like a OCD, like obsessive weird brain.

[2152] But it's not a good brain for like lawn care.

[2153] Right.

[2154] You know, it's not, it's not a good brain for remembering to pay your bills.

[2155] It's not a good brain for like if I had a job and, you know, you've got to show effort to be a part of this company.

[2156] This company is all about cooperation.

[2157] See that board?

[2158] We've got our tenants that we abide by I've fucking checked out gone Second paragraph I'm already trying to figure out How to make a live and deliver in newspapers Right on a boss or something That's hilarious I was horrible in school man Of course you were that's why you're funny But I would ace all my tests Without studying How?

[2159] Just because I learned by listening And so I just keep my mouth shut a lot of times And I just absorb that way And then so I'd listen to lectures or whatever And then in high school Most of your grade is your homework but I'm like fuck the homework and I'd come in and ace my test and just barely pass with a C you know because I would at least get a little bit and so then in college was you know they don't care if you do your homework or not you don't get graded on that so I was like getting great grades in college I just barely get by just doing the homework or by the by ace and the tests you just have a really good brain I mean that's what it is yeah your brain works I slept all a day I would stay up and watch tonight show Jay or Johnny Carson and I'd watch Letterman And then I would watch whatever was after that and then go to bed like four in the morning, wake up at six, go to school, sleep in every single class.

[2160] That's why we're a hat.

[2161] I just sit down and be like this.

[2162] You know, I just got, you know, and then somehow got a seat.

[2163] Like, yeah, it just got C's.

[2164] I got Cs all through high school.

[2165] The problem with high school is that it's being taught by people that are not making any money.

[2166] No one he gives a fuck about them.

[2167] You only hear about them when they make mistakes.

[2168] Nobody's praising teachers for being amazing and being inspirational.

[2169] It's so rare that teachers get any money.

[2170] props.

[2171] They're not financially compensated.

[2172] Even though they have one of the most important roles in a child's development, they're not considered significant.

[2173] It's a stupid fucking thing that we've done.

[2174] We've created these really arcane, shitty, ineffective systems for education.

[2175] And it's rare that you get one that's great.

[2176] I mean, when you find a good school district, man, people fucking sell their houses, move to these neighborhoods.

[2177] They do whatever they can to be involved.

[2178] Start signing their kid up right when they're born just to get in a kindergarten.

[2179] Do whatever they can to get their kid into a good school system.

[2180] And then the argument of like, you know, not paying the teachers.

[2181] Well, we don't want to pay them a lot of money and then attract the wrong kind of people.

[2182] What does that mean?

[2183] Are you kidding me?

[2184] What does that mean, man?

[2185] It is so stupid.

[2186] It's very aggravating.

[2187] Yeah.

[2188] Several teachers in my family is very frustrating to see the struggles that they go through and not having enough money in the budget to buy the freaking materials they need to teach the kids, the curriculum.

[2189] You know, and that's not just like, centralized to that school district.

[2190] It is like nationwide, you know?

[2191] It's got to be fun because kids like to play.

[2192] Like here's the thing, one of the things that drives me fucking bananas is this idea that kids that are bored in class have a disease.

[2193] He's got, oh, A, D, H, D, OCD.

[2194] He's got something.

[2195] He's not sitting.

[2196] You're not supposed to sit.

[2197] Okay, little kids are supposed to be playing and they have energy.

[2198] Dude, I have little kids, and my six -year -old, she's a fucking bundle of energy.

[2199] They literally will run around the house screaming, the six and the four.

[2200] They get together and they go, ah!

[2201] And they just run.

[2202] It's like they have a flame inside them.

[2203] They need to burn off.

[2204] And you make a little kid sit in a class and pay attention.

[2205] Pay attention, Joshua, up here on the board.

[2206] I want your eyes up here.

[2207] And you're like, oh, my God, I got to get out of here.

[2208] Your body's freaking out.

[2209] Your body is literally freaking out.

[2210] You just want to get the fuck out of here.

[2211] And meanwhile, you've got a video game in your pocket you want to play, or you got a fucking comic book you want to read.

[2212] It's way more stimulating and interesting than this hoarse shit.

[2213] This fucking lady's talking to you in Spanish.

[2214] We're in America, bitch.

[2215] Okay, al -a -signo?

[2216] No, no, no, no. I don't want to hear it.

[2217] I don't want to hear it.

[2218] I got to get out of here.

[2219] And that's most kids through high school.

[2220] You're fucking, whether it's math or English or fucking.

[2221] in history you don't want to be doing that right then and you know the idea is that they're going to teach you discipline you're going to sit there now they're going to turn you into a goddamn zombie that's what they're going to do they're going to turn you into a cubicle zombie and if you let them they will do it or if you resist you can find your way out of the system but the idea that you're not intelligent unless you you follow this ridiculous curriculum that turns you into a worker bee yeah it's fucking stupid yeah it's a stupid shitty plan that they've been been following for a long fucking time and it doesn't work on everybody you're different than me i'm different than you we're all we're fucking different and every kid needs a different approach to absorbing information right and you're going to have interests that i don't have you know like we're talking about video editing if i had to go to fucking school or i had to become a video editor i'm not interested in it it's not i have no fascination like if you had to become a professional pool player you've no fascination with it it's like you you we all vary in our personality, in our life experiences, and in what we're attracted to.

[2222] And some people are going to be attracted to different things.

[2223] I believe that children should absolutely learn the basic building blocks.

[2224] Every kid should learn how to write, should learn how to read, you should learn how to count, you should learn about the important facets of history.

[2225] Agreed, everyone.

[2226] But the idea that every fucking kid should follow the same curriculum them in the same way and how come nobody ever takes kids that are fucking antsy or they're cracked jokes all the time nobody ever pulls them aside and goes hey man should be a fucking comic yeah like you know you could be a comic there's thousands of them yeah like it's isn't we're not talking about be the president i'm gonna be the president when i grow up listen bitch there's one fucking president one 350 million people one guy gets to be president good luck that's a shitty fucking job proposition yeah your your odds suck but the odds of being a comedian Not bad.

[2227] You're actually funny?

[2228] You can...

[2229] Oh, you're...

[2230] Listen.

[2231] Johnny, sit down.

[2232] You're a fuck -up, okay?

[2233] Here's the good news.

[2234] So was Bill Cosby.

[2235] So was Sam Kinnison.

[2236] That's right.

[2237] So is Richard Pryor.

[2238] So is Eddie Murphy.

[2239] They're all fuck -ups, okay?

[2240] Their fuck -ups are comics.

[2241] That's not all comics.

[2242] You know?

[2243] I'm sure there's probably comics that were, like, really studious and did great and did good grades.

[2244] A lot of us were fuck -ups.

[2245] That's right.

[2246] That's right.

[2247] God damn it.

[2248] Brian, he's right.

[2249] I guess It's so funny I always see these speeches people put from this podcast and like inspirational videos and stuff like you just had one the other day on break .com I don't know if you know to where somebody took you doing a kind of like what you just did but put it together with like the videos and stuff it's so amazing how many people listen of those and and uh uh they're all over my facebook nowadays of your of your well i hope they help i do i hope they do i don't mean it i don't do it because i hope someone's going to make a video out of it i do it because i'm frustrated i'm frustrated by people that i know that are just living in hell i know too many people that just they they've been lied to and they don't have anybody around them that tells them any different they don't have anybody around them tells them this man there's a lot of paths in this life there's a lot of people that start their own businesses There's a lot of people that sell art or, you know, or become landscapers or do things that they enjoy or, you know, become hunting guides or become, you know, someone who takes people on hiking tours.

[2250] There's a lot of fucking different things to do in this life.

[2251] And everyone gets lumped into these same paths and they're just shoving us in like fucking cattle into these packed in paths where everybody wants to put that stupid hat on with the tassels.

[2252] Yeah, I made it I got my paper I got my paper that says I'm not retarded It's fucking crazy man And you die just like everybody else dies You live and you die All you're supposed to be trying to do is make enough money To get by and be happy with what you're doing And you're gonna like different shit You're gonna like different shit Yeah it's ridiculous What are they called the counselors or whatever The woman told me I was too stupid to go to college and then I should think about going into the military or which pissed me off because they're, you know, that's stupid.

[2253] But military or learning a trade.

[2254] That's what they told me. I need to learn a trade.

[2255] Okay.

[2256] I need to learn a trade.

[2257] Oh, well, neither of those interests me. Fuck.

[2258] You should learn how to kill people.

[2259] Josh McDermott.

[2260] You're too stupid to go to college.

[2261] You can't sell insurance.

[2262] You should be out shooting strangers.

[2263] Yeah.

[2264] For Uncle Sam.

[2265] That's what they told me, man. I had horrible conversations with, high school guidance counselors they just they no hope there's no hope you don't pay attention in school nancy klezner that was her name it was killing me nancy klezner oh tell me about nancy's a finder she was a large woman she um i don't know when you're a kid i don't think you really know how old people are but she was probably mid to late 40s at the time she's probably buried right next to john candy oh my gosh you did a fat fuck in the casket they put a suitcase full of snacks with her extra support but she you know yeah it's like but okay so she tells that to me who else did she tell that to you know and it's like I thankfully kind of figured it out on my own but how many people don't really figure it out that they just take that advice and go oh shit well I guess I should go learn to be a mechanic look the world needs mechanics I get that but you can't just tell someone that's their lot in life because you know they're too stupid or something I mean there's some mechanics that are very brilliant I'm sure there's some stupid ones too Yeah, and there's some mechanics that wanted to be mechanics because they love cars.

[2266] They enjoy it.

[2267] They get the thrill out of revving the engines and figuring out how to make things run better and figuring out how to connect parts.

[2268] I like working on cars, but I don't want to do that for a living, you know?

[2269] Right.

[2270] This is the idea that this woman can do that to you.

[2271] It's so disappointing that that person.

[2272] If that was my fucking kid, I would scream at that lady.

[2273] If you came home and, you know, you told me that some lady told you you were too stupid to go to college and you had to be a mechanic or a fucking soldier, I would scream at that lady.

[2274] I would want her fired.

[2275] I'm like, you're fucking monster.

[2276] Like, you know, you're planting seeds and these kids.

[2277] You're telling a child, they're too dumb.

[2278] How smart are you that you got fat and you're working as a guidance counselor?

[2279] You fucking dumbass.

[2280] You ain't thinking shit through.

[2281] I know if I came home and told my dad that he'd, you know, I didn't, but I know if I did, he probably just would have been, well, what branch do you want to go into?

[2282] Like, that would have been his response, you know?

[2283] That's probably why.

[2284] I didn't say anything.

[2285] Yeah, my stepfather's thought for sure I was going to be like a fucking construction worker or something.

[2286] They didn't have a lot of faith in me. But when you're coming home with all shit grades, they knew I was good at drawing.

[2287] So, like, there's thoughts that I would be an artist.

[2288] But then when I wasn't even into art, and once I started to get into martial arts, I wasn't even into art anymore.

[2289] So it was just like this transitionary period between the age of 15 to like 17 where there wasn't a lot of shit going on in my life where they were really worried about me. Then I started winning all these Taekwendo tournaments.

[2290] And they were like, okay, well, he's doing something good.

[2291] You know, but even then they were worried about that and they didn't want, they was totally discouraging.

[2292] They never saw me fight once.

[2293] I probably fought.

[2294] I probably had a hundred amateur fights.

[2295] Wow.

[2296] And my parents never saw one of them.

[2297] Not one.

[2298] Yeah.

[2299] I'm surprised you got out of the art because you were so good at it, that it's such a young age that, I mean, like, way better than most people.

[2300] Well, I told you what happened.

[2301] I had a really shitty art teacher in high school.

[2302] An asshole.

[2303] He was just a really angry, bitter guy.

[2304] He was just this pot -bellied dummy that had given up on life.

[2305] He was just, this is this guy.

[2306] This is my impression of my art teacher in high school.

[2307] That's how he was.

[2308] That was his energy.

[2309] And he didn't like me. He didn't like me because I had a lot of energy.

[2310] I was dynamic.

[2311] I wanted to just fucking run through walls.

[2312] I mean, I was wired when I was a kid.

[2313] Right.

[2314] And everything I would draw was like dragons, eating villages.

[2315] And it was all like fucking people running for their lives, getting hacked to death by swords.

[2316] I was an angry kid.

[2317] And I drew a lot of crazy shit.

[2318] shit where wolves tearing apart rib cages you know that was what i drew you know that's what interested you he's like you got to stop doing that but i like that's what i like that's what i like that kind of stuff like i remember him saying this to me well if you get a job as an illustrator you're going to perhaps have to draw something that you don't enjoy drawing like maybe you'll have to do a diaper ad okay so you're going to have to learn that i remember i'm out that's it i'm not doing diaper ads and so i stopped drawing wow yeah i remember this guy was so It was just so negative and influential Because enthusiasm is very influential But negativity is also influential And where I was connecting this world of failure To this guy's path And I was like, well, I don't want to be an art teacher Like this fucking shithead Just working with a bunch of people And squashing their dreams Because it wasn't like I wasn't talented Like I still have those images And I put some of them up on Instagram And this shit I drew in 1983 okay i was in high school i have some of these pictures so i know i was talented and this guy just was a douchebag yeah and he just didn't he just gave me negative energy and so i was very insecure and very young and just dumb and you know i just i just stayed away i didn't even take art my senior year in high school and that was my whole path my whole path in life is i was going to be a comic book illustrator you know i was going to be like uh those guys that did like the x -men or You know, The Incredible Hulk.

[2319] That was my idea.

[2320] Like, I could do that.

[2321] Like, and I really could have done it, but I was just so turned off by shitty teachers.

[2322] He's can't squash kids.

[2323] It's terrible.

[2324] You can't do it.

[2325] It's the worst thing ever, man. And it's so common.

[2326] It's so common.

[2327] It happens all the time.

[2328] R .A. Shafir has a joke about it.

[2329] He's got a joke about, it's a new, one of his new bits about the notorious B .I .G. You know, when Biggie was young, like, he had this rap to all the teachers who told me, that ain't going to grow up to be shit, you know.

[2330] I don't want to say anymore because it's a really funny joke, and I want to give any of the joke away.

[2331] But he has this whole bit about these teachers telling him that he wasn't going to be shit.

[2332] Right.

[2333] That notorious B -I -G wasn't going to be shit.

[2334] Can you imagine?

[2335] It's ridiculous, man. It's fucking common, man, because people don't have vision and they don't have...

[2336] How could we have known Josh McDermann on that one day in Phoenix that you would grow up to be the man who's on my favorite show?

[2337] My second favorite show.

[2338] I'm going to be honest with you.

[2339] Game of Thrones is number one.

[2340] But you guys are so strong...

[2341] It's like one A and one B. It's like right up there.

[2342] Hey, man, I've talked to a couple of their actors and their fans of our show just as much as we're fans of theirs.

[2343] So, like, you know, it's okay.

[2344] It's okay, man. Look, you're on one of the best shows ever.

[2345] In my opinion, if there's a top 10 of my favorite shows of all time, you're on it.

[2346] Who could have ever predicted that?

[2347] Top five.

[2348] Okay.

[2349] What do you got?

[2350] Top five?

[2351] I'm not going to make you name 10.

[2352] Sopranos, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Dexter first season.

[2353] South Park, always.

[2354] What else?

[2355] I'd have to go back.

[2356] That was five.

[2357] Yeah, that was five.

[2358] I'd have to go back through my entire viewing history and think shit.

[2359] Oh, Homeland is pretty goddamn good.

[2360] Even that show took a dip.

[2361] I think it took a dip?

[2362] I don't remember what season we're in now, but because I watched it all on Amazon, so I don't know.

[2363] The last season is not as good?

[2364] I don't know.

[2365] I'm not current, but I've watched like two or three seasons, but I feel like part of the second season I'm going like, I don't care what's going on.

[2366] Like, I care about Saul.

[2367] Yeah.

[2368] But I don't care about Carrie.

[2369] Carrie and Brody.

[2370] I bet she fucks like a wild animal.

[2371] Those crazy ones.

[2372] You know?

[2373] The crazy ones, they know what to throw.

[2374] Yeah.

[2375] They trick you.

[2376] That's a good show, though.

[2377] it's not as good as Walking Dead and it's definitely not as good well it's good it's great in moments in moments it's fantastic but I call shows man it's fucking hard keeping a show so solid episode after episode season after season it's got to be one of the most difficult things to do it's tough like lost like I remember like the last season of loss I was totally done I was so done I didn't even watch the final episode yeah I was like like fuck you I checked out I was angry at it that's what I did with Dexter the last episode I didn't watch until recently but I watched the whole series and didn't watch the last episode I heard it was so bad it ended better than you would imagine but lost if you really re -watch lost and pay attention to what you know you're supposed to pay attention to it really changes the show it really makes it a lot better yeah that make that kind of makes sense I just read something online about one of the writers was at a dinner party, and they were talking to him about all the crazy shit that was inserted into the show, the polar bears or whatever.

[2378] Like, there's so many things that didn't tie up at the end.

[2379] And he said, yeah, we never had any intention of, like, just, like, justifying it.

[2380] It was just, we were just throwing, literally throwing in whatever.

[2381] Just freaking me people out.

[2382] Yeah.

[2383] Smoke monsters and shit.

[2384] I love that.

[2385] I absolutely love that.

[2386] There were some great moments in that show.

[2387] There were some great moments in that show.

[2388] but it was rabidly inconsistent as was Dexter like Dexter first season knowing Dexter went downhill and that dude stopped lifting weights because the first season he looked like a killer he looked like a guy could grab people and strangle him and beat their asses and stab him and then they started getting like scrawny was that because they had cancer though?

[2389] Yeah whatever excuses excuses you get a little leukemia walk it off pussy I don't mean this ladies and gentlemen all right we should probably wrap this bitch up I think we're out of time Josh motherfucking McDermann dude thanks for having me on thanks for thanks for being on and don't quit comedy you're too fucking funny I'm not quitting I know it's easy you got a nice cushy gig on the Walking Dead you got a show tonight where can people see you I'm not promoting it actually I don't know where it is it's in Long Beach oh yeah yeah yeah Long Beach just Google it you'll find him it's probably at the Laugh factory in Long Beach is that where it is or is it's not that it's like a one night show Oh, some weirdo spot.

[2390] All right, my friend.

[2391] You could follow Josh.

[2392] I found it on rub maps.

[2393] You can follow Josh on Twitter.

[2394] It is Josh McDermott, D -E -R -M -I -T -T.

[2395] Oh, yeah.

[2396] And do you have a website?

[2397] I do.

[2398] Josh McDermott .com.

[2399] Oh, Shazam.

[2400] Instagram and Facebook.

[2401] It's all just Josh McDermott.

[2402] And watch him on the motherfucking walking dead.

[2403] God damn, son.

[2404] congratulations.

[2405] Thanks, man. It is really fucking cool to see you on TV.

[2406] Thanks, dude.

[2407] I haven't separated you from the character, though.

[2408] I'm enjoying your character, which I thought was weird because I know you as a human being.

[2409] Yeah.

[2410] But, you know, I'm like, that's fucking Josh.

[2411] But it's all right, you know.

[2412] It's still, like, it doesn't take away from the enjoyment at all.

[2413] Oh, good.

[2414] I accept you as this wacky, fake scientist, dude, but I still know it's you.

[2415] It's awesome.

[2416] Brian, anything coming up?

[2417] Friday, Ice House.

[2418] Friday at the Ice House, you fucks.

[2419] Yeah, Judah Freelander, I think, might be doing it.

[2420] Go there.

[2421] be a part of that, get some, all right?

[2422] Nice, nice.

[2423] You savages.

[2424] All right, much love, my friends.

[2425] See you soon.

[2426] Bye.