#1332 - Annie Lederman

[0] Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

[1] Hello, Joe Reagan.

[2] The leopard theme.

[3] You have leopard jackets.

[4] Today you have a leopard top.

[5] Is this just coincidental or is there something to this?

[6] Well, I'm a little bit white trash and I want everyone.

[7] No, I don't know.

[8] I liked married with children.

[9] You can pull this up.

[10] I'm a little bit, I know, I'm trying to get comfortable.

[11] Are you comfortable?

[12] I don't know.

[13] Am I?

[14] I'm nervous.

[15] It seemed comfortable.

[16] Am I supposed to be not nervous?

[17] You're fine.

[18] I'm with the king Anyway, okay So leopard Leopard I like married with children I don't know You like married with children Peg Bundy Well I was gonna go for Kelly But thank you I like dumb and slutty And uh No I do have my friend Who started pegging her boyfriend In my phone As Peg Bundy That's her name She started pegging her boyfriend She got a new boyfriend Who's idea?

[19] His I think he's gay Honestly Oh for sure Listen if you get pegged I'm not saying you're gay For sure But this guy This guy's gay.

[20] This guy I think is gay.

[21] And what did she think?

[22] They broke up.

[23] She thinks he's gay.

[24] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[25] They broke up.

[26] Why did they break up?

[27] He was emotionally unavailable because he's gay.

[28] Wow.

[29] I think he's looking for something with a dick.

[30] So what was there other signs?

[31] With him that he might be.

[32] I don't know.

[33] I think that he just was not, maybe he's just an emotionally unavailable guy, but he seemed to have a lot of issues around wanting to get.

[34] dick's in his house so it seems like maybe he needs to try maybe a less plastic one yeah well he probably is already trying it don't you think maybe i mean i don't think you just why would you waste your time with a rubber dick's strapped to a woman if you could just go get maybe jesus some christian stuff like you just can't take the real dick yeah maybe it's like internalized homophobia probably or maybe he's just like transitionary like maybe two years now he'll look back and go god i used to make girls fuck me in the ass i'm such a dickhead why did i do that i should have just come out yeah or maybe he likes the feminine aspects of a woman and the rock hard cock part of a dude there's a lot of people that like that he needs to get there needs to be like uh well i guess that's what a he needs a hermaphrodite is yes well Whitney cummings was telling me that those sex robots you know you saw her special they're made a sex robot that there's they're really popular where they have a a woman's body and a dick those ones are really popular all right all right you get to live your you get to live your you're just greedy you just want everything yeah inside outside give it to me I had a guy calling to my podcast about his wife won't peg him enough and he he's a cuck but she won't yeah but she like she like she like makes love to him while she pegs him and he wants to be just destroyed you know Jesus Christ and he he's a cuck but he she won't fuck black guys so he's just he's like i'm like i feel like for what you want you should be very grateful you have this woman that's pretty down but there's always more so i'm wondering if he just wants more or if isn't the same with but just that's how it is with people if you go back to the early days of porn it was basically just pizza delivery men and sorority girls and and sex and everybody had a bush but then you look at today everyone's gagging and slapping and choking and spitting And not choking on pubs.

[35] And it's...

[36] There was none of that back then.

[37] Now it's like standard.

[38] You know, it's like everything keeps getting pushed.

[39] Boundaries keep getting pushed.

[40] Everyone's getting the fish hook, poor Ziz.

[41] It's fucking weird.

[42] Aziz watched the wrong porn.

[43] Aziz?

[44] Remember when he got in trouble you got for fishhunt?

[45] Yeah.

[46] What a disaster.

[47] Have you seen a special?

[48] I haven't watched it yet.

[49] I watched a clip and it shot so bad.

[50] It's like you see.

[51] him and then you see people behind him in the backstage area milling around and he's on a seat it's so dumb it's like there's there's doors open in the back and then people walking behind the doors it's like some odd artistic choice to try to be like it doesn't matter that I'm up here yeah like it's no big deal life still goes on even though I'm up here which means you were thinking that life doesn't go on and you wanted to show people that life goes on too that's deep you You were insecure about how narcissistic you are, and then you tried to fight it.

[52] Well, I was thinking it was the director's choice.

[53] Or who was the director?

[54] Who was the director?

[55] Was it Spike Jones?

[56] Yeah.

[57] I think he tried to do something crafty, which, you know, it's kind of interesting in any other format.

[58] I mean, it'd be interesting if it was a conversation.

[59] It was just two people talking and they're in a public square and you see people milling around behind them.

[60] That's not distracting.

[61] But with stand up, the more things you have to think about other than what the person's saying, the more it's going to take away from what the person's saying.

[62] Yeah, it does feel weird to just, I mean, you know, I go on with the leopard print jacket sometimes, but I like to dig myself a little hole.

[63] Yeah, but the leopard print jacket's just cool.

[64] It's just funny.

[65] It's not distracting.

[66] It's just here she is.

[67] I like, you know, I have my toy sword.

[68] I don't know if you've been around for any of those sets, but sometimes I bring one on, you know, it's late at night.

[69] You got to wake them up.

[70] You got to wake them up.

[71] Just a, just a plastic sword from the toy store.

[72] I spend a lot of time with props.

[73] I, I have fake blood on me most times.

[74] I don't know when I'm going to be inspired to take a funny picture.

[75] To make a pratfall.

[76] To make a pratfall.

[77] Did you see the pratfall's that we did?

[78] Me and Stephen Randolph, one of the door guys at the comedy store.

[79] No, when was this?

[80] They posted on the comedy store thing.

[81] We did.

[82] No, I did.

[83] We challenged each other to three pratfalls.

[84] It's so embarrassing.

[85] Listen, after Brody died, I was like, I'm going all out.

[86] I'm experimenting.

[87] I'm having as much fun as I can.

[88] You know, obviously it's about jokes, but sometimes you got a really just, you got to just have your time up there.

[89] The Brody one was hard on everybody.

[90] Oh, that was the worst.

[91] It didn't make any sense.

[92] That was one that it just felt like swallowing a dry rock.

[93] Yeah.

[94] Like, how?

[95] Like, how's that guy gone?

[96] It just feel, he was just such a big presence.

[97] And then it's sad to, I don't want to talk too much about ayahuasca on here, because I know that's what everyone does.

[98] But I did, and when I did trip on ayahuasca, it was right after that.

[99] And it helped me a lot with that because I kept thinking about how, sad it was that he couldn't feel us like hugging us him we loved him brodie was loved like we loved that man he was our brother you know and that was the sad part well i mean i just feel like there's no way any of us could ever understand what's in anybody else's brain you know i don't know what's in yours you don't know what's in mind it's like they're we we assume that there's a similar thing happening inside our head as other people's heads and i think that's wildly incorrect and i think some people are just in pain all the time and there's not much you can do as a friend to help them you know i mean i felt the same way about bourdain when bordean died uh it was just uh i don't i don't get it i just don't understand how someone who's so loved you know he has uh this amazing job his beautiful daughter and he has this life that's extraordinary and very interesting and deep and he gets to meet these fascinating people and travel the travel the world and expose people to all these incredible artists and culinary artists.

[100] And yet still, couldn't take it, didn't want to be here for whatever reason.

[101] And I just think about it.

[102] It's like, so they're okay, you know, they're off wherever we go or whatever happens.

[103] They've transcended.

[104] Came back.

[105] They're floating around somewhere.

[106] But it's like selfishly, I'm like, I want more Brody.

[107] Of course.

[108] I want him back.

[109] Of course, yeah.

[110] And it's, you know, and then you see people, they just fade, you know, each year goes by and they just which is going to happen to all of us so yeah but you know luckily he had a lot of catchphrases a lot of stuff online the poster in the back of the store oh I love it I kiss it every time I walk by it do you really yeah I'm not touching it anymore yeah I lick it I give it my herpes wow I don't have herpes yet Joe Rogan audience it's on that it's okay and honestly if you have it's fine why aren't they gonna have a vaccination they must have one already do you think the government's keeping it from us sure what do you think conspiracy theorist James is not a conspiracy yes he is why do you say that because he already sparked up when we talked about the aliens thing with oh did he bring up Ohio no I left it all out but he got his eyes there's just something there's a spark they have conspiracy yeah they have a little spark in their eye when they he perked up he kegled his asshole a little bit when I brought it up yeah but what I it was really funny like those the last question I asked him was about UFOs just kind of almost has a joke but just just as a goodbye you know like to keep it silly that's all i'm reading it's in fucking hundreds of articles it's all bernie sanders says he will tell the world about aliens if he becomes president that's the thing that they took out of that well it's smart of him it feels like trump straws it's like smart if bernie had said it if bernie had brought it up i would have been like that is a brilliant tactic but don't you think the people that believe in aliens are already going to vote for or that are the most hung up on it no no you don't think they're the same no no No. I think they vary wildly.

[111] Conspiracy theorists are left wing, right wing.

[112] And the alien one is different than any other one.

[113] And I think there's a lot more people that are, um, that are alien lovers that cross both sides.

[114] I think it's just one of those things where you want to space dirty.

[115] Like alien lovers, guys that fuck aliens.

[116] No, no. That's alien fuckers.

[117] You're holding out for Dr. Manhattan.

[118] Yeah.

[119] Do people claim that?

[120] I bet you they do.

[121] Oh, for sure.

[122] Do you know there's people really into Bigfoot?

[123] sexually.

[124] There's like all these novels written about Bigfoot.

[125] It's like, just go date a tall Armenian.

[126] No, no, no. It's not that hard.

[127] They're ever.

[128] Go to Glendale.

[129] They're everywhere.

[130] Go to the gallery.

[131] There's Bigfoot.

[132] This is a very localized reference.

[133] There's Bigfoot.

[134] You get it.

[135] Bigfoot erotica.

[136] Yeah.

[137] I mean, it's like really common.

[138] What if he had a small dick?

[139] Like you always hear about the really tall guys with the tiny dicks.

[140] And when I say hear about them, you hear about them.

[141] See, look at this.

[142] Seduced by Bigfoot and ravaged.

[143] Look, come for Bigfoot.

[144] Virginia Wade.

[145] Bigfoot, bitch.

[146] By Lolita Young.

[147] Wait a minute.

[148] Narrated.

[149] You mean this is an audiobook?

[150] You know what they say?

[151] The bigger the big foot.

[152] The bigger the...

[153] Bear and the bones?

[154] What is that?

[155] I like a guy with a really hairy dick.

[156] Really?

[157] Like you like...

[158] People say, listen, people say they don't like too much hair on balls.

[159] I say, get it all the way under the shaft.

[160] Look at this.

[161] Boffing Bigfoot?

[162] what is happening i thought i feel like i know i like that her name's ann al wait wait wait gay bigfoot look at this last row and i'll probe what is gay big foot look he's smoking a cigarette after he fucked look at that all right here what the fuck a mouthful of saskatch oh my god i feel like i've met that man that works like one of the door guys at the comedy store that's one of the door guys that got fired this is a whole genre of erotica there's a bunch of women that write these books this is virginia Wade lady is uh she's apparently very prolific with her bigfoot erotica she writes quite a few of these how many did she have well that was 13 at least 13 come for bigfoot come for bigfoot number 13 she just makes shit up then there i was walking the dog and the dog had a heart attack and next thing bigfoot's dick is in my mouth how but i have a good pun harry and the hummersons henderson don't think hair in the think it out loud and then just i was sounding it out i can't read ever leave me alone.

[163] What'd you expect me to come on in beer and fucking smart?

[164] So there's at least 13 books.

[165] I bet Virginia Wade lives in a fucking giant mansion, drives around a roll.

[166] It's probably a dude.

[167] No. I bet it's a, I bet it's a, with that Bigfoot 5 baby.

[168] Come for Bigfoot baby?

[169] What is that?

[170] See that one?

[171] Come for Bigfoot.

[172] Five baby.

[173] Why does it say baby?

[174] See that?

[175] Seymour, right -hand side.

[176] All the way the right, all the way of the right, all the way of the right, up, above it.

[177] There you go.

[178] Bam.

[179] What is that?

[180] What fuck is that?

[181] Maybe they have a Bigfoot baby.

[182] It looks like a cum -insider one.

[183] So she's got, let's find out.

[184] Google Virginia Wade's Big, is that her right there?

[185] She looks normal.

[186] It might have been.

[187] Is that a photo of her?

[188] We've got us here.

[189] Go back.

[190] It was a different book they were talking about.

[191] Oh, okay.

[192] The boff for Bigfoot.

[193] Is that her?

[194] Is that Virginia Wade?

[195] That's a normal -looking lady.

[196] That it might not be heard.

[197] Oh, Amazon Pools Boffed by Bigfoot romance novels from shelves.

[198] What?

[199] Why are they censoring Bigfoot porn?

[200] Yeah, that is odd.

[201] Look at the, it might have been her.

[202] Okay, why don't, why didn't anyone tell me about these literary treasures?

[203] Oh my God, I thought for a second that long but interesting read was about the book.

[204] This is a long but interesting read.

[205] Why are they pulling it?

[206] Why are they pulling this?

[207] Stay at home, they're from Colorado.

[208] Of course she is.

[209] No real writing experience.

[210] Of course not.

[211] You don't even have to be good.

[212] She spent all day waxing her nipples.

[213] She couldn't get to come to terms with her hairy body And then she realized all she needed was to find her match She says, I get this crazy idea for her story So she sat down and wrote the entire book in an hour Oh my god There's no fucking, there's no second draft That's what I love to hear by my, for my authors You wrote this all in one draft She said just 12 ,000 words in a matter of weeks She's been considered trying to sell it To a mainstream publisher instead She went directly to Amazon's Kindle direct publishing an online platform for self -publishing, 70 % royalty rate for authors.

[214] I think she sold a fuck load of those.

[215] Here's the line from it.

[216] I don't think he's monogamous.

[217] But it's Bigfoot, nah.

[218] So click on that Bigfoot insider monster porn, Amazon crackdown link.

[219] So let's find out what the fuck is going on here.

[220] Why would they crack down on that?

[221] Ooh, ad blocker, you son of a bitch.

[222] Okay, what's the thing here?

[223] Yeah, this dude's so hot.

[224] Author Virginia Wade's fiction debut Follows a group of women Who embark on a week -long camping trip To Mountain Hood National Forest They're in the shadow of Oregon's highest mountains They're kidnapped and sexually assaulted By mysterious woodland creature What the hell is that thing?

[225] Ask one protagonist, that's some good writing It's fucking Bigfoot, his Shelley He's real, for fuck's sake Horror filled her eyes With a huge sea dash dash dash I'm saying that says cock Corn In the book His feet are fucked up With decidedly un -PC title Like Come for Bigfoot C -U -M of course It's just the first of Sixteen fiction e -books Wade A pen name has written About the legendary But sometimes Best sometimes known as Sasquatch Each legendary beast Each detailing a series of graphic And often violent sexual encounters Between the ape like creature And her female lovers Okay Wade has made an exceptional living writing these stories.

[226] Okay, but why do they take them down?

[227] This reminds me of my friend from middle school's boyfriend who was Sicilian.

[228] He was just so hairy and he looked...

[229] It's been downloaded more than 100 ,000 times.

[230] Holy shit.

[231] That's five bucks.

[232] That means she made $500 ,000 for the flip of a shit book.

[233] For one hour of work.

[234] Well, she made 70 % of it at least.

[235] Do you think, I bet you the other books didn't take as long either?

[236] Wow.

[237] During her best months, She's netting 30 ,000 or more in a month, writing Bigfoot jerk -off books.

[238] Wow.

[239] Taken by pirates.

[240] Oh, she branched off in other genres.

[241] It's all just getting fucked.

[242] Taken by pirates.

[243] Seduced by the Dark Lord.

[244] It's like getting fucked by demons and pirates and hilarious.

[245] I'm getting traumatized.

[246] A traumatic thing is coming up for me right now.

[247] It's weird.

[248] Do you want to hear it?

[249] What?

[250] My mom wrote romance novels when I was, Shut the fuck.

[251] Yeah.

[252] They were never published.

[253] No, I didn't read them.

[254] They were never published?

[255] So it was really just a fuck journal.

[256] You read your mom's fuck journal?

[257] I didn't read it, but she had romance novels around, and I was definitely, I knew I was really good at skimming to the sex scenes.

[258] I knew how to flip through.

[259] Flick my bean to it.

[260] So your mom wrote.

[261] She was a part of this thing called Romance Writers of America, and she actually won awards, and then she never followed through.

[262] So she could have published the book and probably had success.

[263] and then she had a whole it was like a whole suspense romance Selena's revenge was what it was called Selena like the singer No but that's really funny She came back to fuck big foot No she fucks the girl killed her Makes her read her oh yeah She's dead I like that lady That little weirdo I mean I don't like her because she killed her But she's like a real weird I mean the girl killed Selena Like you know she reminds me of She reminds me of I definitely don't like her But she she reminds me of the little woman from okay I can't remember what's it called David Lynch that show which one Twin Peaks which one didn't wasn't there a little lady in it I don't remember Twin Peaks very well but there was a little lady in it always back in the day but I just remember usually from the TV movie with Jennifer Lopez in it did she play Selena she played Selena that was her big break she was a fly girl yeah And then she got super hot And that big ass was exposed to us And Selena outfits That's interesting But why that girl kill her?

[264] She was her assistant, right?

[265] Yeah, she was just such a big fan I think she was just obsessed with her So she killed her because she was a big fan?

[266] People are fucking crazy That doesn't make sense She probably hated her because she made her Wash her laundry and shit She was her assistant, right?

[267] Or I think she was the head of her fan club Assistance get weird with people Do you ever hear the David Spades story.

[268] His assistant tasered him and fucking tied him up and shit and wound up going to jail.

[269] Yeah.

[270] I guess.

[271] Was it a girl or a guy?

[272] A guy.

[273] Was he trying to fuck him?

[274] I don't think so.

[275] I think he just hated him.

[276] Oh my God.

[277] I feel like Spade would be a nice employer, but maybe not.

[278] Maybe not.

[279] Maybe he is now.

[280] He's got tased and peed up.

[281] Wow.

[282] I didn't know that.

[283] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[284] See if you can find that story.

[285] Spade's had some shit out of me. He got catfish.

[286] He got catfish, but he told it on the Norm McDonald's show.

[287] Who catfished him?

[288] Someone catfished him.

[289] He thought he had met this model on Twitter.

[290] And then he saw the model in real life and was like, hey, Twitter.

[291] And she was like, what are you talking about?

[292] He says something.

[293] So embarrassing.

[294] Spade's cool as shit.

[295] Here goes, David Spade's assistant pleads guilty to assault.

[296] Make that larger, please?

[297] Oh, my God.

[298] David Spade's former assistant pleaded guilty.

[299] Stop to assaulting the comedian with a stun gun and a good.

[300] to seek counseling for drug and psychological problems.

[301] Beverly Hill Superior Court Judge Eldon Fox also sentenced David Warren.

[302] Skippy Malloy on Thursday to five years probation.

[303] That's it.

[304] Do not hire someone named Skippy.

[305] Ordered him to stay at least 100 yards away from Spade and perform 480 hours of community service.

[306] If somebody tased me, I want more than community service.

[307] Because that's a threat and they tied you up and shit.

[308] How did it end?

[309] Wait a minute.

[310] It says David Spate, 36.

[311] What was this?

[312] In the 20s?

[313] 2 ,001.

[314] Shut the fuck up.

[315] Really?

[316] That's the beginning article, 2001, right here.

[317] Okay.

[318] Oh, my God.

[319] He tied him up.

[320] I wonder how the story ended.

[321] How did he get out of it?

[322] Is he just really good with untying knots?

[323] I get the guy, get tired of fucking him.

[324] And getting shocked.

[325] Says he was angry in a psychotic state due to cocaine the morning of the attack.

[326] I mean, I've done coke before.

[327] I don't think I've been like, let me. me tie up my boss and taser him you've never done coke with david you're right or around him yeah maybe he's you know telling you to take the dog out and you're like i can't do this anymore i can't i'm too hyper you said the co you said the co -star of the NBC sitcom just shoot me in the new movie joe dirt said at the time that maloy a 30 -year -old aspiring actor was a friend who is obviously mentally troubled right now wow and i'm more shocked by joe dirt as a new movie yeah we're digging back 2001 we are digging back well fuck that seems like a long time ago but you know what doesn't seem like a long time ago 2009 you say 2009 like oh that just happened nope 10 years a decade like 1960 to 1970 seems like forever 70 to 80 seems like forever 80 to 90 seems like forever but 2009 and 2019 for whatever fucking reason seems real close yeah and it's not it's not it's not It's not close.

[328] It's not close.

[329] It's a whole years.

[330] You style will show you that, too.

[331] Because I was, I was born in 83.

[332] I'm 36 and the kid, the younger kids right now are dressing like I dressed in high school.

[333] Like, it's cycled back around.

[334] They're in my styles.

[335] Yeah, but that's then, like 2009 to 2019.

[336] Is there a difference in style?

[337] Yeah.

[338] This is coming from someone that's zero style.

[339] Yeah, there is.

[340] What is it?

[341] It's, okay, from 2009, I would say, 2009 was maybe when they had started having this one okay wait I have to remember where I was in life I just moved to New York people were wearing I don't know I had lived in Santa Fe and I was drinking a lot so I definitely had I quit drinking 2009 I still have never been in Santa Fe then Santa Fe is supposed to be a weird place that's where I met Tate Fletcher hallo caveman coffee I met Tate in Santa Fe he used to come in with a bunch of sober dudes after meeting I don't know if I'm supposed to say this but whatever he's pretty open about it but I mean it was the truth they were so annoying I was like a drunk I was wasted at this cowboy bar to wear a cowboy outfit you have to you have to you have to do that's your uniform really being a wager's is not humiliating enough you also have to dress just have a John Deere hat on no you have to wear you had to wear a cowboy hat and you had to have a shirt that had yokes on it oh if you worked there if you worked there not when you win it Yeah, that would be crazy That would be crazy But so Tate would come in with a bunch of people And they just wouldn't order alcohol I mean it was just like low sales High maintenance I was like who is this fucking guy He's so big and ridiculous And then I was talking to him I hadn't quit drinking I didn't quit drinking until I moved out of Santa Fe But I told him I wanted to do comedy And he made them turn the karaoke Night into a comedy show for me Really?

[342] Yeah And I got to do comedy That's the first time you ever went up?

[343] Wow Did you have things prepared?

[344] No kidding Yeah And then Were you hammered?

[345] Yeah Yeah.

[346] And then I moved to New York to do comedy.

[347] And I was, I crashed my motor.

[348] I had a little scooter, a Yamaha Azuma.

[349] And I crashed it because I would drive drunk all the time.

[350] That was my happy place.

[351] Like to this day, it really was, honestly, that feeling like driving wasted on a scooter was the wind blowing the air because you're not wearing helmet.

[352] The thing about scooters is you don't really think you can kill anybody else.

[353] So it's not that bad to drive drunk.

[354] Yeah, but you can.

[355] You can get in the way of someone else.

[356] You can do anything.

[357] I fucked my.

[358] myself up so bad.

[359] I woke up just had blacked out completely.

[360] My face was split open.

[361] I had road rash all over my tits.

[362] This was Father's Day 2008.

[363] You don't remember falling?

[364] I don't, didn't, all I remembered.

[365] I just remembered like little pieces.

[366] I remember that someone helped me. I woke up, I was living at my friend's house.

[367] I woke up at the house.

[368] He was staying at his girlfriend's house, so I was there alone.

[369] But my chin was split open.

[370] I've been wearing a dress.

[371] And it looked like I, my throat had been slit.

[372] Like there was just blood all the way down it.

[373] Road rash all over my tits, all over this side of my.

[374] And I'm arms my knees like I just was fucked up just face planted just face split open I just I went I peeled out and like just went chin first and everything and then I remember that someone who didn't a girl that didn't like me had helped me that's all I could remember it was someone who usually hated me helped me wow and then so I went out I went to the hospital I called my roommate he came back I went to the hospital they I got nine stitches and I was still wasted I was still so hammered and the doctor kept going were you drinking and I kept going just between us he's like yeah I went nope I was like I'm not going to fucking jail you motherfucker I was like no you just crashed my scooter it's crazy he didn't know that I didn't wake up to drink through the pain so um so then I got the stitches and I was friends with all the cops in Santa Fe because I was an alcoholic so that's a really good plan you got to befriend them so they don't arrest you and uh they had told me if they had caught me because I ended up finding my scooter on the side of the road my friend drove me around so I found out where I had peeled out and there was like a bunch of loose gravel so I just peeled out on the gravel and the cops said that they would have arrested me for an aggravated DUI because I hurt myself I had injured myself that's what an aggravated DUI is?

[375] what they said back then.

[376] I mean, I was still wasted when they said that.

[377] It's worse?

[378] Have you hurt yourself?

[379] You would see it?

[380] Yeah, because I had to go to the hospital and stuff.

[381] Jesus.

[382] Yeah, I looked crazy, but I was a drunk.

[383] So I was like, woo, fun girl.

[384] They used to call me Fun Girl Annie behind my back.

[385] And I thought they were, I thought it was like a cool that didn't realize they were making fun of me. Oh, Jesus.

[386] So anyway, so then I went out that night and I saw this guy with a puppy and I started playing with the puppy.

[387] And I was like, oh, your puppy's so cute.

[388] And he goes, do you not remember me?

[389] And I'm like, I've never met you before.

[390] And he goes, last night I helped you, you crashed your scooter.

[391] And I was like, oh, fuck.

[392] And he's like, I write a motorcycle so I didn't want to call the cops or anything because I know you would have gotten.

[393] in trouble.

[394] And I was like, who helped me?

[395] And he's like, some girl.

[396] So then my friend called me. He's like, my boss told me. So it was my friend's boss from this hotel that I used to get wasted at.

[397] He was the bartender.

[398] So she hated me because I would just go get hammered at their nice establishment.

[399] Do you look back on those days with any fondness?

[400] Because you're sober now.

[401] You're all clean.

[402] Yeah.

[403] I mean, I think I have a wealth of stories.

[404] I was a juvenile delinquent.

[405] And I had so many childhood traumas and abuses and weird things that happened.

[406] I was running for my life in Jersey City when I was 15 from like a fake modeling agent who was like a six foot eight drag queen named Mahogany running for my life trying to hot this is a long good story I just have a lot of stories and not a story you can brush over all right all right what happened you were 15 so I was I had gone to mahogany yeah so I had gone to John Robert Powers modeling school one of those like fake modeling schools and it's you pay like 200 bucks and they make like a compilation headshot yeah you like go they give you classes and modeling like that's a thing it's like you either like are weirdly weird looking alien hot and tall and skinny or not yeah or you're not and i mean i maybe could have done commercials or something i was cute but i i also had very low self -esteem it was just such a weird it was such a weird thing to be doing so um and i had been a tomboy up into that point so we go i go to this modeling thing and then we went to paid more money to go to like a modeling convention and then they had actual modeling agencies and then they had just random people that i guess paid to be there so mahogany was one of them and my mom's like super liberal and so she likes anything that's like a little on the fringe that she could brag about at her book club or whatever if that sounds like i'm angry i'm not angry forgive my mother but um so they ended up they're like we want to take your daughter for two weeks and we'll send her out on auditions and stuff over spring break and we have the This nice place in Jersey.

[407] When you were 15?

[408] Yeah.

[409] Your mom let mahogany take you for two weeks.

[410] Oh, there's so many more stories, Joe.

[411] Jesus fucking Christ.

[412] Yeah, no, there was.

[413] My mother did not have anything bad happened to her when she was growing up.

[414] She was adopted by a very nice family, and she went to a nice boarding school and stuff.

[415] And nothing happened to her.

[416] Did she read the newspaper?

[417] She didn't read the newspaper.

[418] I don't think much.

[419] So she, it just, she didn't, she wasn't aware.

[420] So anyway, so then, okay, so I was.

[421] I went to this place in Jersey City.

[422] In Jersey City, I don't know how it is now, but it was fucking crazy back then.

[423] It's still fucking crazy.

[424] It was fucking crazy.

[425] So we were in this one little condo, and it was mahogany, and then there was like some other people that were there.

[426] None of us were really that.

[427] I mean, I probably was like the hottest, but I was pretty, I mean, I don't know.

[428] I think I was cute.

[429] I don't think I was like a, I don't think I was a model.

[430] And I don't think that was my future.

[431] Maybe I could have done something.

[432] But the only person that I had really bonded with was this 23 -year -old guy, Chris, who was this black guy from.

[433] I don't know where he was from, but he was really cool.

[434] He was really nice.

[435] And he was a little creepy.

[436] Like, he would say things like if I was your age, but he never was trying to fuck me or anything.

[437] But he kind of was protecting me. And at some point, Mahogany got mad.

[438] And it was fake.

[439] Like, he would make me go buy him weed on the corner and stuff.

[440] And it was just a fake thing.

[441] My parents paid like $1 ,500 to send me to this thing.

[442] and he would i think he sent me out to be a i'd have gone to new york by myself on the train at 15 wearing the sluttiest clothes ever to this thing to and then he would tell me pretend you're lie and say you're 21 to be an extra on like sex in the city and stuff it just wasn't real there was nothing real about it was a total scam so i was starting to catch on to that and i was supposed to be there for maybe 10 days i think and they'd these next -door neighbors shorthy this little puerto rican lady i don't she was a boy i smoked blunt with her but um so this guy chris was kind of protecting me and he would go into the city with me and then all of a sudden mahogany didn't like how close we were so he separated us and he said you can't see each other anymore and i was like well i don't feel safe if i can't talk to this guy i just would rather go home i want to call my parents i don't think this is real this seems like bullshit and a scam and he was like you can't talk to your parents and he locked the door and took the phone away from me so i packed all my shit up and i threw it out the window and i yelled down to shorthy i was like, yo, I'm going to run, so grab my shit.

[443] And then one of the other kids that was staying at the modeling place knew the situation.

[444] So he went down and bumped into the door, unlocked it without him noticing and distracted him.

[445] And I just jet it out of the fucking house.

[446] And he started chasing me. I was like screaming.

[447] I was like, call the cops.

[448] Help me. Help me. And I was wearing a tube top.

[449] My like 15 year old titty.

[450] I had nipple rings were like hanging out.

[451] I mean, I looked like a prostitute.

[452] The cops ended up coming and I thought I was a prostitute.

[453] Mahogany got me at one point.

[454] I was hiding under cars for my life.

[455] Like I thought I was going to get killed.

[456] It was like screaming.

[457] People were just watering their plants.

[458] Like, what the fuck?

[459] You were hiding under cars?

[460] Yeah, because he was chasing me. So I was trying to hide.

[461] And he finally got me. He was like, get in the hat.

[462] Like, you're ruining my scam pretty much.

[463] And then he scratched my arm, but that's all.

[464] And then the cops came and arrested both of us.

[465] Thought he was my pimp.

[466] I thought I was a prostitute.

[467] I come from like a upper middle class family.

[468] What did you mom say when you came home?

[469] Well, they came to the cops and then the cops told them that they should arrest my parents.

[470] Yeah.

[471] They're like, we should.

[472] and I think they just were in denial about it.

[473] They should arrest them for a day, at least.

[474] Yeah, they didn't.

[475] And then more stuff happened after that.

[476] What?

[477] They made more mistakes?

[478] Yeah.

[479] But it's okay.

[480] We all make mistakes.

[481] I love my family.

[482] They're good now.

[483] But I also look at all of these things.

[484] No, I really have had to do a lot of work on it because...

[485] To forgive them?

[486] Yeah, because...

[487] Well, I blame myself for all of it, for most of it, which was my defense mechanism.

[488] I had some stuff happen with a teacher in high school, too.

[489] right after that actually it was about six months after that happened and uh you know is this a therapy session i don't want to do a therapy session i don't want to do that but anyway you had asked me about am i happy about these things and so the point that i'm coming to but the point that i'm coming to is i am happy with them i'm so happy with like where my life is now that i can't be mad about any of these other things do you know what i mean like they're they're like exciting and now they're funny because i didn't get hurt that's what i'm saying like looking back on the It's fucking hilarious.

[490] Yeah, there's some...

[491] Did crazy shit.

[492] There's some romance to it if you're surviving.

[493] I flashed a chain gang once on my motor scooter, and then it didn't start, and I had to, like, put my shirt down and keep walking.

[494] Like, it's hilarious.

[495] I did crazy shit.

[496] And I came out, like, genuinely, I feel good, you know?

[497] I'm happy with my life.

[498] So it's good.

[499] Thank you for getting me off of that path, by the way.

[500] Well, it's just...

[501] Everyone that I know, that's funny, is fucked up and had something go wrong.

[502] it's just that's how and it's like how you get through it and then your insight once you get on the other end you persevere and then you don't blame people you don't like go around being mad at the world i think it's it's easier to be um i don't know it's just well some of the most hilarious people did blame people yeah like kinnison yeah canison was always you know screaming about his ex -wives yeah you know that's true that's funny too i just for my own personal sanity cannot run around angry at everyone well you don't need to be i mean it's not necessary and especially now that you're sober which obviously kinnis never got you know he uh were you friends with them no no never never met him saw him saw him live a few times once uh once at work once when i was working i was working at uh great woods um center for the performing arts it's like a it's like a amphitheater in mansfield what were you doing son final kicks no security oh cool yeah And I got to see Cosby there, Ronnie Dangerfield.

[503] Got to see a few people.

[504] Did you want to do comedy yet?

[505] I was 19.

[506] I probably had thought about it a little bit.

[507] You know, maybe.

[508] Maybe it had been in my head, like, slightly.

[509] But I didn't really start thinking about it until I was like 20.

[510] Did you feel embarrassed when you had that thought at first?

[511] Of doing comedy?

[512] Yeah.

[513] No, but I did feel like it was preposterous.

[514] Yeah.

[515] I did feel like, um, look it's such a difficult way to make it like i remember my girlfriend when i was 21 her dad was mocking this idea that i was going to be a comedian like i remember him smart guy well you know the odds were not in your favor no they're not in anybody's favor but i remember that's what you're saying you know that like who makes it how many people make it as a comedian and even if you do make it how much money do you make he was a doctor that's so funny he was really angry like he just felt like I was a waste of his daughter's time.

[516] It was really funny.

[517] Is he still alive?

[518] Let's get him on the podcast.

[519] There's no idea.

[520] It's probably not.

[521] You know, doctors don't live that long, a lot of them.

[522] My doctor died.

[523] That was so, it was sad when he died.

[524] I was like, I trusted you.

[525] Well, there's a great book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie by this guy, Joel Wallach.

[526] And a lot of it has to do with nutrition.

[527] And it's about mineral deficiencies and vitamin deficiencies and doctors who abuse drugs.

[528] And it's essentially talking about how people rely on doctors.

[529] for advice about health.

[530] When in reality, doctors are good at very specific things.

[531] Like if you're a podiatrist, you're good at fixing feet.

[532] If you're, you know, an orthopedic surgeon, you're good at knees and shoulders and shit.

[533] But you probably don't know a fuckload about nutrition.

[534] And you really don't understand like the mechanisms of your body's absorptions of nutrients and minerals and mites.

[535] And one of the things that I've learned from doing this podcast is to understand that.

[536] Even like what I, the cursory understanding over that I have, you have to go through You're fucking hours and hours and hours of reading and watching documentaries and listening to experts, and I still have to go back over and over and over again.

[537] So I've talked to doctors before, and they've been, like, super dismissive about even taking vitamins, and I get angry at them.

[538] And I'm like, well, I think all you need is a balanced diet.

[539] I'm like, well, you're retarded.

[540] Like, what are you talking about?

[541] That's a, and by that way, I don't mean someone with Down syndrome.

[542] That is a retarded way in slowed down.

[543] You have a diminished capacity for advancement.

[544] You're slowing down the reality of the progress of nutritional science.

[545] This is a stupid thing you're doing right now.

[546] You're giving me bad advice.

[547] You really don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[548] I get angry.

[549] I'm like, why would you say that?

[550] Like, this is, don't tell me that there's no benefit to taking vitamins when there's a fucking assload of studies.

[551] Yeah.

[552] There's data and science.

[553] And it's all provable.

[554] People spend thousands of hours research.

[555] the stuff and trying to figure out what the fuck is good for you and what's not good for you and some chubby asshole with a fucking skinny fat body is telling me that all you need is a balanced diet.

[556] I'm like, bitch, what's your diet life?

[557] You ain't got a balanced diet.

[558] And do you think that they're just doing that because they don't get money out of their out of the vitamins?

[559] No. No, they don't have it.

[560] They just don't feel like reading up on the new stuff.

[561] But they haven't, they haven't decided to pursue it.

[562] That's all it is.

[563] I mean, and if they did pursue it, they'd realize it's a fucking bottomless pit of information.

[564] Yeah.

[565] From essential fatty acids to different kinds of proteins, an absorption of plant -based proteins versus animal -based proteins.

[566] What's the benefit of grass -fed beef over regular beef?

[567] It's a fucking endless stream of them.

[568] I mean, if you follow someone like Dr. Rhonda Patrick, you realize really quickly that she is in the heart of this shit 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and she's still learning things.

[569] Yeah.

[570] It never ends.

[571] It never ends.

[572] I mean, we, and also it varies.

[573] What's good for you is not necessarily good for me. Your diet might not be as effective as my diet on me. I only eat elk.

[574] Is that bad?

[575] That's good.

[576] That's good for everybody.

[577] All I eat is elk all day.

[578] It'll turn you into a fucking savage.

[579] Some fucking elk, dude.

[580] I'm going to give you some.

[581] I got some waiting for you back.

[582] A fanny pack and some goddamn elk.

[583] That's why I'm on here.

[584] What kind of a cooking setup do you have at your place?

[585] I just have just a stove with...

[586] Do you have a frying pan, like cassar and frying pan?

[587] Yeah, I do.

[588] Do you know how to cook?

[589] You good cook?

[590] I'm all right.

[591] Decent?

[592] Okay.

[593] I'm decent.

[594] I'll hook you up with some elk sausage.

[595] We'll start with that.

[596] I'll give you a recipe, how to cook it correctly.

[597] Do you have a thermometer?

[598] I'm really into...

[599] I'm really into...

[600] Bigfoot porn, can you not say Elk sausage in front of me?

[601] I don't have a meat thermometer.

[602] No. Okay.

[603] Well, that's good for elk sausage.

[604] It's fine.

[605] You'll get a sense of when it's good.

[606] I can't believe you want, want, want me. Because I didn't get to a quick -in -off.

[607] Well, you were talking about elk sausage, bro.

[608] I'm sorry, I'm insulting your...

[609] No, it's just Bigfoot dick, elk sausage.

[610] I don't know why I wouldn't draw those two.

[611] I wouldn't pull those together.

[612] Why you wouldn't?

[613] Yeah, why would I not have...

[614] One of them is an undulate.

[615] The other one is a legendary primate.

[616] Oh, my God.

[617] You're really getting stuck on semantics here.

[618] Listen, you're the one who crack the joke.

[619] Let me just make some fucking jokes.

[620] I just got accused of doing a therapy session and now I'm telling jokes.

[621] I'm feeling triggered.

[622] Are you feeling judged?

[623] No. No, but I'm not feeling judged.

[624] But everybody that I know that has had those wild drunken days that has come out on the other sides, there's something like nostalgic about it like you look back and you go huh I made it through that have you been to an AA meeting you can't it's like the good old times in AA or I always felt like people were either telling these stories that were so insane and I was like I'm not an alcoholic or they were like I was like that's pussy shit like you know get out of here you're even cool enough to be here like celebrity rehab right did you ever watch that show uh -uh one of the best parts about it was Eric Roberts you know Julia Robert's brother, it's been in a bunch of movies.

[625] He was there for weed addiction.

[626] And everybody else is having the fucking DTs.

[627] They're on the floor in the fetal position shaking.

[628] He's reading the paper.

[629] He's losing weight.

[630] He's getting his shit done.

[631] He's on a treadmill.

[632] It was so ridiculous.

[633] Like some people, you know, their stories are a joke.

[634] I did quit smoking weed and it did make things a lot easier.

[635] Like laundry, just little things.

[636] I was like, oh, that was maybe making things.

[637] I would always smoke weed before I would clean my apartment.

[638] And that was like seven years to get my apartment.

[639] apartment glen yeah it can get distracting it doesn't it does not affect me well yeah well when i do things like if i want to clean my office i just have like a thing like this is what we're doing now at all even listening to music is not good oh yeah i find that i used to listen to podcasts while i clean my office but then i find that i would be like pausing and listening to a particular part and i'd want to rewind it i'm like oh i'm fucking with myself here i'm distracting right and then that's a weird defense mechanism too because i do that all the time too i'm always multitasking and I always have to be doing three things at once.

[640] It's like, why?

[641] Yeah.

[642] Because it's going to make me, I'm going to slow down so much.

[643] I might have to, like, deal with my own shit.

[644] Yeah.

[645] So, like, writing, too.

[646] Like, sometimes I write listening to music.

[647] But most of the time, it's better without music.

[648] With lyrics?

[649] Yeah.

[650] Yeah.

[651] Sometimes lyrics and sometimes foreign music.

[652] I like foreign music because I don't know what they're saying.

[653] What kind?

[654] Brazilian.

[655] I like a lot of Brazilian music.

[656] I like a lot of Spanish music.

[657] Some Bollywood or what?

[658] I listen to some of that.

[659] All right.

[660] Dollar Mende?

[661] Do you know what Dollar Mende is?

[662] No?

[663] You don't know Dollar Mende?

[664] Oh, he's amazing.

[665] It's really cool.

[666] I just listen to a lot of Elton John.

[667] That's what I'm into right now.

[668] That's why I like to wear all my crazy things, too.

[669] I like to Elton John that shit.

[670] I play you some Dollar Mendi.

[671] I'll play it on my phone.

[672] You didn't we get banned?

[673] 100%.

[674] 100%.

[675] Why?

[676] It's gotten before.

[677] Even if we have them in the distance?

[678] Yeah, yeah.

[679] How do he spell his name?

[680] D -A.

[681] There it is, dollar Mendi.

[682] What does this say?

[683] The song is not currently available.

[684] in your country or region.

[685] Oh, my God.

[686] I love it.

[687] Now I'm really into it.

[688] I want that shit.

[689] What is that?

[690] Oh, here goes.

[691] La, la, la, la, la. We can't hear it.

[692] We can hear it.

[693] We can hear it.

[694] That's actually a woman getting fucked by big foot.

[695] Even the guy yelling?

[696] Yes.

[697] Wow.

[698] Okay.

[699] Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet.

[700] Anyway, I like Dollar Mindy.

[701] It sounds cool.

[702] Is his name Dollar?

[703] D .A. hold on oh i would like to better if it was like the dollar symbol b a l -e -r -r -m -h -n -d -i but i think he got arrested for human trafficking but can you still like his work that's a problem like i was at uh dave schpell and i did some shows the other day oh yeah a dj and the dj uh was playing all this uh michael jackson music and uh he is so good yeah he's great though he's a fucking pedophile allegedly most likely yeah pretty probably yeah definitely did something wrong yeah even though it's still fucking great yeah but also he's dead yeah so what if you don't listen to his music you're punishing what are you punishing okay the man's dead right but even if he wasn't dead like if ted bundy had some great poetry would you want to read it would you enjoy it um no i don't know Probably not, yeah.

[704] I mean, I don't know.

[705] I really don't know what Michael Jackson did.

[706] I don't know.

[707] And I don't think anybody does other than the people that he did it too.

[708] But there's a lot of fucking weirdness to it for sure.

[709] Yeah.

[710] Holding hands with little boys and.

[711] I know.

[712] It's really uncomfortable.

[713] It's just like inappropriate boundaries.

[714] And that's enough to like molest a kid.

[715] Honestly, just having that inappropriate blurred thing between kids and grownups.

[716] It's not good.

[717] Yeah.

[718] You hold hands with your nieces and nephews and that makes sense.

[719] Your children.

[720] That makes sense.

[721] But if you're a 55 -year -old man and you're holding hands with an 11 -year -old boy in Dubai...

[722] Yeah, that's weird.

[723] I got to get...

[724] I got to get suspicious.

[725] Yeah, I got a question whether I'm going to enjoy this song that I'm enjoying right now.

[726] I don't want to be stoned something.

[727] You're trying to be stoned something.

[728] Yeah.

[729] But it was so good.

[730] I was listening to the music.

[731] I was like, God damn, this guy was amazing.

[732] Yeah.

[733] So exceptional.

[734] But there's no way he wasn't molested.

[735] I mean, doesn't he seem so molested?

[736] Well, in the interest of being beaten a fucking dead horse, I have talked about this many times in the podcast where I think that he was a castrato which is someone who was castrated when he was very young to preserve his high -pitched voice then his doctor, the same doctor that killed him, came out later, this is long after I predicted this and said that he was chemically castrated to preserve his voice.

[737] So he confirmed what I was saying.

[738] Now whether this doctor's telling the truth or not?

[739] So with castration, are you not able to get a boner?

[740] I don't believe so.

[741] um oh my god so he maybe wasn't molesting them but he was just he could have been just being weird with them i don't know who maybe he didn't do anything with them maybe he just wanted to be a child maybe his childhood was stripped from him because he was famous from the time was five fucking years old and his father did something yeah definitely was a weird life according to the doctor his father did did something to him like chemical castration is what they do to pedophiles yeah they'll do it to pedophiles so that they can never get erections and it basically stops your body's production of testosterone and kills your testes.

[742] And they do it with some chemical injection.

[743] And apparently, according to the doctor, that's what they did to Michael Jackson, which you think about his voice.

[744] It makes sense.

[745] Because his voice was insane.

[746] It was so high pitched.

[747] And if you listen to like castratos, there's only a few recordings of actual cristratos, but it was a common practice.

[748] Not common.

[749] It was not everybody did it, but it was a practice that was done to young boys to preserve their high -pitched voice where they'd fucking castrate that what a word horrible because strata but they did it i mean people would let their children get their balls chopped off so they would sing good and they would you know it'd be very valuable to how long how long ago was that well there's a recording so the recording i don't think they had recordings until like the late 1800s i don't believe what there was a lot of dance back in the day A lot of boys dancing for kings.

[750] 1922 was the last one, it's 1922.

[751] It was the last castrata recording.

[752] And how old was that dude?

[753] So he's probably born in the 1800s or something?

[754] He died in that same year, so I don't know.

[755] But it's...

[756] He died never nutting, but always beautiful singing.

[757] Have you ever heard it?

[758] He had the voice of an angel in the...

[759] We can't play that either, right?

[760] No, you should listen to it, though.

[761] That sounds so upsetting to listen to.

[762] It is upsetting.

[763] It's haunting.

[764] Yeah, you can't enjoy that.

[765] Yeah, I played it for a friend of mine the other night, and he was like, what?

[766] And I was like, look, you got to listen to this.

[767] And I played it.

[768] He's like, is that fucking real?

[769] And he's like, it sounds like someone who did something to somebody.

[770] And you're like, oh.

[771] Maybe people should jerk off to it to, like, in honor of the man. He was 63 when he died in 1922.

[772] He was born in 1958, and those recordings were done in 1902 to 1904.

[773] So that makes him 40s.

[774] Yeah, he was in his 40s when he was recording those.

[775] You said in 19508?

[776] You mean he was born in 1858?

[777] 1858 is when he was born, I'm sorry, yeah.

[778] It died in 1922.

[779] Wow.

[780] Yeah, that's, the whole thing's dark.

[781] The look you gave me during my circle jerk idea was rude.

[782] What look that I'll give you?

[783] You gave me a, come on, bitch, circle jerk for the, I was saying to, if he couldn't come.

[784] Are you projecting?

[785] Listen, I know this is uncomfortable with you and you're nervous to be here, but I'm your friend and I love you and I want you to be happy.

[786] You want me to be happy?

[787] Yes, I'm not looking to.

[788] I'm not looking to trip me up.

[789] Come up.

[790] The king.

[791] You know, I love you.

[792] I know, I love you too.

[793] Thank you so much for having me. I really do appreciate it.

[794] I am trying to be chill.

[795] It's just like a cool.

[796] Are you weirded out by this?

[797] By being here?

[798] I'm not weirded out.

[799] I'm trying to be in the moment.

[800] I like to be funny impulsively.

[801] Like it's my impulse to always like tell jokes and stuff.

[802] And this is a more like chill, less jokey.

[803] You could be jokey.

[804] Okay, now there's pressure to be joking.

[805] You're overthinking this shit too much.

[806] I'm not overthinking anything.

[807] I'm being chill and normal.

[808] Everyone relax.

[809] You have two cups of coffee.

[810] I have two cups of coffee.

[811] One's calling me a cunt.

[812] What is one of them?

[813] One of them is a caveman.

[814] What's the other one?

[815] This is caveman and this is a cunt mug.

[816] I got it for my dad and then I got one for myself too.

[817] You got it for your dad?

[818] Yeah, as a joke.

[819] Well, my dad and I, it also looks like it says aunt.

[820] We one time, we went to, we were at the post office.

[821] My dad's very funny.

[822] He reminds me of catty daddy daddy, actually.

[823] the Kyle Dunnigan's thing By the way that fucking thing is hilarious that you guys are doing Are you doing more of those?

[824] Yeah we recorded one and then it just wasn't funny It wasn't we have to rethink it Don't want to put out We don't want to disappoint with Caddydydy too But the one you did do The one you did put out is hilarious Yeah that was fun Yeah He's so funny he's hilarious But so my dad and I were at The post office And mailing something out And I was taking a while To mail something out And just we're just jokingly antagonistic you know my dad's like come on i was like dad leave me alone i'm not done you know we're just joking with each other right and this old woman who's been observing she goes to leave and then she just pivots before she leaves and turns around she goes she goes you know what young lady you're a real itch an itch and my dad goes i think you mean an aunt which is fucking one of our best stories my daddy's funny so she doesn't realize you're just joking around she didn't get we were just joking she was like oh you're being so and it's like did you tell her me this is my dad we're just joking no my dad said she's an aunt and we laughed so I think she got it yeah well she was leaving when he said it yeah and we just were like crying and the fact that someone like needs to stop you and put you in your place yeah it's just so silly but it's like she was old what does she know?

[825] I'm sure I'm just gonna try really hard to not be one of those old people what do you think you're gonna be like as an old lady I think I'm gonna peak I'm excited well I'm trying really hard to I'm trying really hard to be in the moment and appreciate each new age and not get anything in my face or do anything like that.

[826] Get anything in your face?

[827] Well, you know, except come shots, obviously.

[828] No, I mean like, you know.

[829] Oh, you mean like filler?

[830] Yeah, try not to do anything too crazy.

[831] It's just, it's fighting an inevitable thing.

[832] And I think it's a gift to age, you know.

[833] We get to be different every day.

[834] My mom was a, she worked at a, this organization called Grey Panthers, which can play.

[835] Gray Panthers?

[836] Yeah, it was for old people.

[837] Old people that like to fuck?

[838] Old people that like to fuck.

[839] I mean, I'm sure they like to fuck.

[840] But Maggie Coon, Maggie Coon was the woman's name, which I know there's a little bit of a parallel between gray panthers, black panthers.

[841] Her last name is Coon, yeah.

[842] But it was spelled differently.

[843] But so she was this, it was in Philadelphia and she was, she like died when she was 90, maybe 89, but we used to hang out with her all the time.

[844] And she had dated, famously dated like a 40 -year -old, I think in her 80s or something.

[845] So I think she was flogging.

[846] Was she pegging him?

[847] She might have been pegging him.

[848] I don't know if she could peg at that point.

[849] She had a lot of hats and a lot of cats.

[850] She just lays down to peg.

[851] Oh, he can peg himself.

[852] Yeah.

[853] You remember Elizabeth Taylor?

[854] It was like she married a series of gay guys before she died.

[855] Oh, yeah.

[856] Yeah.

[857] I think that happens to really pretty old ladies.

[858] Well, they just want a man to tell them they're beautiful.

[859] I've been just showered with compliments by gay men.

[860] Yeah, I think they go through menopause too and they probably give up on the idea of sex.

[861] Yeah.

[862] They just want pretty men around them.

[863] Yeah.

[864] I mean, not that her gays were that pretty.

[865] I've had prettier gays I've definitely been the last I've been the last post for a couple guys The last post before gay Yeah Where I'm like and then one guy I got married and shit I was sure he was I was sure I was his last Listen just because he got married Doesn't mean he's not good Yeah that's a good point I know what dude But guys would read Game men would reach out to him They would try to touch him And I was always wearing a suit We lived in Santa fan Like why aren't wearing a suit It would like slap his hands I'm like not until he comes out He's not I knew I mean I was like there's no way He used to always want to have like Threesums with other guys.

[866] I remember we invited my one friend in.

[867] We were just drinking so much.

[868] We called we called Jack Daniels OJ.

[869] So we didn't feel weird.

[870] And we were like, pass the OJ.

[871] We were just like fucking shit -faced all the time.

[872] Chugging.

[873] We went to this college.

[874] My college ended up going out of business, just this little school in Santa Fe, just hammered.

[875] And my friend who I worked at a restaurant with, a guy friend, he wanted to hook up with me. So he's like, sweet.

[876] So he like hops into bed with us.

[877] And then he leaves.

[878] And the next day he's like, he kept looking me in the eye, Annie.

[879] He kept looking at me. He kept trying to make eye contact with me. So he was boning you and your boyfriend's like, I don't know if he ended up boning me. I think he would just, he hopped in and he hopped out pretty quick.

[880] What does that mean?

[881] Because he got freaked out because he kept looking at him.

[882] Oh, he gave it a shot.

[883] I don't know if it actually, I mean, we were in full blackouts at that point.

[884] I don't remember anything.

[885] I really feel like I'm five years younger than I am because I just blacked out five years.

[886] You should write about those days.

[887] I know, I will.

[888] It would be a hilarious book.

[889] There were so many.

[890] I have so many, crazy stories and it's funny because I always thought everyone else had them I really thought everyone else had this crazy I'm like you didn't steal cars when you were like you didn't do all these things that never happened to you have you thought about writing a book yeah but that'll be it's also a great like comedy writing exercise yeah I know I want to tell these stories on stage too more yeah flash in the chain gang was I mean there's just been so many I drew some pictures I draw too so I haven't drawn in a while but I drew like a coloring book once that I never followed through with but it was lessons from a chubby alcoholic and it was just different like true scenes from my drinking days just fucking crazy the shit I did so how did you stop well Tate that actually brings me back to Tate so I moved to New York I wanted to do stand -up so bad I had just done that one thing at the Cowgirl in Santa Fe and I liked it I really I was nervous and I don't remember I'm sure it was like all abortion jokes I don't really remember but then I do remember my first set after that I remember all the beginning ones.

[891] So the first one was when I got to New York, I moved to New York to do stand -up.

[892] I crashed my scooter.

[893] So I wanted to move to L .A. I had met people out in L .A., and I thought that was where I wanted to go.

[894] But because I kept drinking and driving, I was like, oh, I have a drinking and driving problem.

[895] I have to go somewhere where I can't drive.

[896] So I moved to New York, thank God, because I think I really, I think it helped me really push and get really strong before I came out here.

[897] So I moved to New York.

[898] I wanted to do stand -up.

[899] I was just drinking, I was partying.

[900] I have so many friends that I just met on Benders, like random shit.

[901] I was just doing insane things, day drinking, just way more drunk than everyone else.

[902] I left my drinking buddies in Santa Fe and everyone else was kind of like, what are you up to?

[903] So I was staying in my friend's couch and I wanted to do stand -up.

[904] And so finally she was like, look, let's just go to an open mic.

[905] I'll go with you.

[906] And I was like, all right.

[907] So I got all my jokes ready.

[908] We go to an open mic.

[909] I go up.

[910] I drop my set list.

[911] and then I completely black out.

[912] I'm so nervous.

[913] I'm like in this basement at this place called Cake Shop.

[914] My friend Caperlamp was the host of it.

[915] Or was she the host yet?

[916] I don't know.

[917] Anyway, I got up on stage and completely bombed and just started yelling at everyone.

[918] I just started yelling at all of these comics.

[919] Like, fuck you, you pieces of shit.

[920] Like, I don't know what happened.

[921] And then I sat down at the bar and I'd already quit Yeager.

[922] Jaeger was the first thing I quit.

[923] So I was sitting at the bar and some guy came up, this comic who I did not like or think was funny want anything to do with and he kept buying me drinks he was buying me shots of yager and i was like look man i'm like struggling with drinking i really like i can't really say no to a drink but please stop buying them for me he just kept buying them like i just was you know i wasn't going to stop and so he kept buying them and then so then i ended up waking up on his air mattress this is that for my first open mic waking up on his air mattress fully clothed didn't fuck him or anything just like trapped somewhere in bushwick it was snowing i was like where am i what am i doing like looked around his apartment.

[924] I'm like, all I want to do is be a comedian.

[925] I was so sure that's what I wanted to do.

[926] I was spending all this time drinking, getting fucked up.

[927] This is only your second set ever.

[928] This was my second.

[929] Yeah.

[930] This was when I had moved to New York was my first one in New York.

[931] What it made you so sure that you wanted to be a comedian?

[932] I just never wanted to do anything else.

[933] And when I think...

[934] But you'd only had one set at a karaoke bar and then the second set where you screamed and told everybody to fuck off.

[935] What was it that made you think that you could do it?

[936] I just, I don't know.

[937] I just never wanted to do anything else.

[938] I just didn't have another there was no other plan.

[939] I had been a special ed teacher.

[940] I had done a go -go dancer.

[941] I'd worked at the bars.

[942] I'd done all that stuff.

[943] I just never.

[944] I just felt like if I could do it, I could do it.

[945] I mean, I guess it's a little bit of that delusion and that.

[946] But I just, I never, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it.

[947] I knew there were obstacles in my way and I knew that drinking was one of them.

[948] I had talked to a comic before that set at the open mic and he had said, just try not to, his advice to me was try not to hook up with the guys at open mics because you're going to get a reputation when you're just trying to be respected.

[949] So he had said that to me. That's good advice.

[950] I think it was great advice because it's also, there's no time for that.

[951] Right.

[952] This was my whole hustle.

[953] Also, what are the odds that that person's going to follow through?

[954] If you follow through and become a comic, what are the odds that they are?

[955] Yeah.

[956] You might get hitched up to some fucking loser.

[957] Yeah, you definitely don't want to get hitched up.

[958] But it also was, I needed to put all my energy.

[959] I was in, I'm barely in a place now to be in a relationship.

[960] So it's like, this was 11 years ago.

[961] So I, I, I, I, when I woke up on that guy's airman, mattress I was like fuck like I already broke the thing that I wanted to do and I was already you know from all my like weird sexual assaulty stuff when I was younger I just didn't have a good relationship with sex drinking didn't help with it you know everything was just out of control and all and I had this thing now this like precious thing that I want so bad so you know crashing my scooter almost dying all that shit wasn't enough but stand up really was that's what I wanted so I went to my friend's house and I I called Tate.

[962] I just called Tate.

[963] I was like, I got a, I just want to do this, and I want to quit drinking.

[964] And so he told me to go to meetings and just try it out.

[965] Do you remember your first meeting?

[966] Yeah, I went to one.

[967] I think it was the Lower East Side, and the guy sharing was talking about, he's like, I always knew I had a problem because I, I, when I was two, I took all of the Tylenol.

[968] And I was like, what are you talking about?

[969] Any kid with a childproof thing is just going to eat the pills.

[970] I remember kind of judging him and being like, whatever.

[971] But it was good to have that community then because I needed to detach myself from like the partiers and all that lifestyle.

[972] So I did go to, I did 90 and 90.

[973] I did a meeting every day for 90 days and then I never went back.

[974] Some people actually learn how to do stand up from those meetings.

[975] There was a guy named Dave.

[976] I went out a bomb.

[977] There was a guy named Dave Fitzgerald who was a really funny comedian back in Boston.

[978] And he learned how to do stand up from making hilarious stories out of his drunk days.

[979] He was a fucking raging alcohol And the same thing Just quit and then started doing stand -up And literally learned how to do it for a meeting Because he would tell these crazy stories About being blacked out drunk and fucked up And being in gunfights You know high -speed chases and all this nuts If you had alcohol to shit Crazy stuff goes down Oh yeah But those guys many of them learn how to do stand -up Yeah you're standing up in front of an audience I was brought up Quaker too So our church was you stand up and speak And everyone just sits there in silence And watches you yeah What's that like?

[980] Which one's Quaker?

[981] That's the Oatbox.

[982] Oat box.

[983] Everyone's like, gets it confused with Amish, which has nothing to do with Amish.

[984] What's the difference?

[985] It's just a very chill Christianity.

[986] So it's...

[987] Were those the Pilgrims?

[988] The Pilgrims?

[989] The Pilgrim's?

[990] No, I don't think they were.

[991] They were...

[992] When did Quakers 'emps?

[993] They don't know.

[994] They're pacifists.

[995] Yeah, they're pacifists.

[996] They believe that God's in the form of an inner light that's in everyone and everything.

[997] So why would you fight?

[998] I mean, I agree with that just from hallucinogens and shit, too.

[999] But it's something I struggle with.

[1000] Like, I have to look back at, you know, childhood predators and I'm like can I have to forgive these people because they are from the same light I guess what is the what's the wacky thing um quakers quakers are well it's just very it's just you sit in silence so the churches there's two types there's programmed and unprogrammed I was unprogrammed which is the super chill one there's no Bible talk there's no preacher there's nothing you just sit and benches facing each other my meeting house had these old creaky explain what are you talking about so it's like it's a it's a meeting house that you meet up with You stare at each other?

[1001] Yeah, or you look down at your hands.

[1002] You don't really look at each other, but you sit, there's facing benches, and then there's, you know, benches here, so you are kind of all looking at it.

[1003] You're facing each other.

[1004] And what do you do?

[1005] You sit in silence, and then if you feel moved to speak, it's supposed to be God speaking through you, but if you just feel moved to speak at all, you just stand up and you say whatever you want.

[1006] Wow.

[1007] And so...

[1008] You're not reading scripture?

[1009] Mm -mm.

[1010] I mean, some people, everyone's in a while someone would do that growing up, but I went to a Quaker school, too, and we were little kids, we used to have to sit in signs for like 45 minutes, which was impossible.

[1011] It's such about 80D.

[1012] It was insane.

[1013] I would wear shirts that had like things on it I could play with.

[1014] Like I had a shirt with a phone and it had like a cord and I would just wear it and I would set alarms and sit on my alarm so it wouldn't go off.

[1015] I just had to be doing stuff.

[1016] It was crazy.

[1017] You're just so bored.

[1018] People are so bored.

[1019] Little kids get so bored.

[1020] You know, and what's the first thing they do?

[1021] They try to medicate them because they even like they're so bored.

[1022] Well, I got medicated too.

[1023] We did riddlin and stuff.

[1024] Oh, no. But when I was older.

[1025] I don't feel like it affected me. They put me on antidepressants a little bit, but I was pretty good at being like, I don't want to do these things.

[1026] You don't feel like it affected you to be on Ritalin?

[1027] But I didn't take it for that long.

[1028] How long did you take it for?

[1029] I don't know.

[1030] I don't think I took it for that long.

[1031] Allie McCrowski?

[1032] Duh.

[1033] She was talking about it last night.

[1034] I love her.

[1035] Love her too.

[1036] She was talking about how, like, that same shit happened to her when she was kid.

[1037] Yeah.

[1038] Bouncing off the walls and they medicate you.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] It's so, it is interesting because it is, I can only imagine what it's like to be a parent.

[1041] You just, there's all this information coming at you and you're dealing with your own shit.

[1042] A lot of people didn't go through their healing process or anything, too.

[1043] So it must be so hard to be a parent.

[1044] It's just got to be crazy.

[1045] I think about it, I never wanted to have a kid until I did some hallucinogens and then I was like, maybe I want to have a kid.

[1046] You'd be a great mom.

[1047] Yeah, I think I would, but I'm just dealing with all my, I'm dealing with all my, I just want to make sure I'm not in a place.

[1048] I was very angry in the past and it's something.

[1049] that I work on a lot.

[1050] I just wouldn't want to redo patterns and stuff like that.

[1051] But I do think because I've had such traumatic stuff, I think I would be, I think I could protect my kids in a good way.

[1052] So the Quakers are allowed to medicate their kids?

[1053] That's part of the doctrine?

[1054] Yeah, you can.

[1055] There's no doubt.

[1056] I mean, it's pretty loose.

[1057] It's like, you can do whatever you want.

[1058] There was one guy that wore his, like, Jewish stuff to a meeting.

[1059] I went to meeting after the election.

[1060] I went a little bit.

[1061] I was like, maybe I want to go back to church.

[1062] What?

[1063] The Quaker church?

[1064] Yeah.

[1065] After 2016?

[1066] Yeah, because I just.

[1067] It just triggered a lot of things in me, and I went real crazy for a second.

[1068] I just had a lot of trauma that I wasn't dealing with.

[1069] When Trump won?

[1070] It wasn't, this is embarrassing.

[1071] Okay, I was hanging out with a lot of, anyway.

[1072] What happened?

[1073] I just got really, like, I got really mad.

[1074] I don't know, I got really mad.

[1075] I just wasn't, I wasn't dealing with stuff, and it just kind of pushed all this stuff forward for me. How so?

[1076] What do you mean, bud?

[1077] Just like, some sexual assault stuff just came up.

[1078] Like, I think a lot of people that were angry and were marching around and stuff or had some personal triggers that had happened for them.

[1079] Oh, so because of like the grabbing by the pussy talk.

[1080] Yeah, and then you read it.

[1081] And then I read up on it and it's not what it seems.

[1082] And I don't know.

[1083] I just, you know, there was a lot of hysteria and it just triggered a lot of my shit.

[1084] But I'm glad it did because it helped me get through a lot of stuff.

[1085] And I definitely, I think, have a different view on those things now.

[1086] And I, you know, I was running.

[1087] around so mad at who I'm like who am I mad at I did a lot of like when it first happened I was like fuck man I did that for about three months thank God I got out of that but really angry and just projecting and pissed and all the stuff and it's like there's a few there's a few men I'm mad at right there's a few I'm certainly not mad at men but there are a few from your past yeah you know and that was something I had to deal with and I had to learn to compartmentalize that and not make it this broad thing I hate when people do that's so upsetting the drinking day the drinking days in for my childhood you know I had I had some fucked up shit happen but you know it it's you can't it's just important to for me to not blame a large group of people that have nothing to do with my trauma and it's also when I get triggered what I needed to learn was that's my responsibility to handle my trigger and I can't just be running around like this like unsheathed sword I mean I can but I'm going to cut everyone around me yeah the thing that people do when they blame everyone that's part of that group you know it's so common it's so you remember uh there was a real problem a few months back where Liam Neeson uh was talking about one of his friends that had gotten something that happened where a black guy had done something murdered one of his friends or raped one of his friends something awful I think was raped and so he would go out at night with a bat looking for a black guy to start trouble and he talked about it and everybody was furious at him yeah and he's saying like look I didn't do anything and I was in a terrible state of mind I'm just being honest about this I'm not proud of this it was one of the most embarrassing and darkest moments in my life but I did it right and not letting people express those things and talk about it and say away because I am embarrassed that I got so manhady I mean it's you know there's a couple podcasts I did where I was like fuck man you know and I that hurts people I hurt people by saying that I mean but whatever no but people have lashed out on me for stuff like that but it's like I don't fucking I don't have the capacity to hate an entire group of people and I certainly like I have brothers I have my dad I don't don't you think so sometimes you say things and that's not really what you mean yeah and it's expressing anger mm -hmm of course and then I think right now what's going on and I've checked out of a lot of stuff I don't pay attention to a lot of things anymore because it was just like the news you mean yeah it's just like not it's not real I don't read Twitter I don't I just don't do it it's like I got to focus on what I can do and how I can feel good and how I can, I just want to make people laugh, have a good time, make people feel good, I want to feel good.

[1088] It's like, I can't do that if I'm in this constant state of taking in all this information that's just pushing my buttons, pushing my buttons.

[1089] Well, yeah, some of it's not going to be, but someone certainly is.

[1090] And if you're not controlling the, like you have a mental diet too, and that's something that people don't think of all the time.

[1091] You know, I don't remember who described it that way, but it's the best way of describing it.

[1092] You have a physical diet, and if you have a poor physical diet, your body's sick yeah but if you have a poor mental diet your mind is sick yeah you're taking a nonsense all the time yep and fights you know i had bernie sanders on yesterday and uh who that guy is running for something oh he kind of looks like my dad yeah a little bit um and uh i briefly looked into the comments of uh one of the posts and so many fucking people are so god damn toxic Yep.

[1093] They're just battling it out, left and right and misrepresenting his position and misrepresent.

[1094] Someone was calling me an alt -right white supremacist, white nationalist.

[1095] Like, what in the fuck?

[1096] That's so hot.

[1097] You should make a t -shirt.

[1098] Someone said that I had someone, what is that Stormfront or something like that?

[1099] What is that white supremacist page?

[1100] Stormfront or something?

[1101] They said I had the founder of Stormfront on my part.

[1102] I'm like, the fuck are you talking about?

[1103] You just make you a proud boy?

[1104] No. I'm so proud of those guys.

[1105] I had Gavin McGivens, who is the founder of the Proud Boys.

[1106] I had him on before, but I had him on before there was a Proud Boys.

[1107] I didn't even know what the fuck of Proud Boys was.

[1108] Yeah, but also, why can't you talk to a person?

[1109] I asked him about it, and I was critical.

[1110] I was criticizing him.

[1111] I was like, you can't just claim you're going to have violence with people.

[1112] It's so fucking dumb.

[1113] And then all the Proud Boys shit that happened with violence came far after that, but people are like blaming me for having him on.

[1114] I don't even know what the fuck it is.

[1115] He's the co -founder of Vice.

[1116] That's what I knew.

[1117] It's also interesting.

[1118] Don't you want to hear the other side?

[1119] Like, don't you want to hear everyone's opinions and everyone's thoughts?

[1120] Don't you want to try to understand and come to a common ground?

[1121] Don't you want to realize, like, I'm not religious really or anything, but it's like we are all God's children.

[1122] Like, there's missing this whole thing.

[1123] It's this fight against each other.

[1124] Yes, but no. Okay.

[1125] The problem is there's a lot of these people that do go on shows and try to reinvent themselves in a disingenuous way.

[1126] And they try to whitewash what they're doing.

[1127] a whitewash their past and to that point I mean the idea is that you're helping them recruit people okay before he was on my podcast though there was no recruit there was no people for him to recruit to so people need to understand like he wasn't there was nothing like I had a mom because he was this guy who was funny and he used to do a lot of interesting videos right he fucked up when he started that group and he fucked up when he was calling for violence and telling people to choke a bitch and punch people and grab these people.

[1128] And he was doing it in response to the violence that Antifa was pushing on right -wing people that would have these meetings and they would show up.

[1129] Yeah, doing like the clown mirror back at them, being crazy, yeah.

[1130] It was all poorly thought out.

[1131] But the idea that that makes you a white nationalist because you talk to someone.

[1132] Because you talk to them, yeah.

[1133] It's so fucking stupid.

[1134] But it's like this is the world we live in and everything's so polarized.

[1135] It's like you're left or right, you're black or white.

[1136] or white.

[1137] You're one or zero.

[1138] It's like there's no gray area.

[1139] They also freeze you in the one moment that you said the thing.

[1140] And then there's no before or after.

[1141] There's no growth.

[1142] There's nothing.

[1143] It's like you're fucking out.

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] They just look for this quote trap and just that's it.

[1146] You said that.

[1147] You said that.

[1148] Like, no, like I clarified.

[1149] I expanded.

[1150] I took it back.

[1151] I revisited it.

[1152] Like there's a lot of things that people do when you talk or you just, you know, you say things like, you say things like you don't even know what the fuck you're going to say.

[1153] When you're saying it.

[1154] And then you go, that doesn't make sense.

[1155] And then you re -clify.

[1156] And when you're talking in long foreign conversation like this in a podcast and someone wants to take a snippet out of it and then just decide that that's who you are, it's nuts.

[1157] It doesn't make any sense.

[1158] And this is the world we're living in today.

[1159] Everybody wants to paint everyone is toxic.

[1160] Everyone, you want to paint, so many people, I should say, want to paint people as being a problem or a negative thing.

[1161] And it's like, this is the Twitter world where 20 people.

[1162] of the people make 80 % of the posts.

[1163] And so many of them are fucking losers.

[1164] And it's also, it's such a, you're giving all of your power out to outward.

[1165] You're not paying attention to yourself.

[1166] You're blaming others.

[1167] You're trying to change the world around you.

[1168] You're trying to create a safe space through other people.

[1169] Like, do you know how unhappy you're going to be in your life?

[1170] If you're expecting other people to come cower to all of your demands and do all of your stuff, everyone's dealing with their own fucking shit.

[1171] They're not trying to be happy.

[1172] Part of it, what they're trying to do is somehow another score points and rack up and distract themselves from their own life by focusing on these external issues that they think are critical and super important.

[1173] And some of them are.

[1174] Obviously, running for president, whoever's going to be president's a very important issue.

[1175] And most of the time, like 95 % of time, I avoid comments.

[1176] But for whatever reason, I just found myself flipping through it because I wanted to see what the people think about Bernie.

[1177] Yeah.

[1178] I'm like, oh, what a mistake.

[1179] You can't look.

[1180] You can't look.

[1181] It seems worse, though.

[1182] It seems like every time I check.

[1183] If I don't check Twitter for four months and then I check it, it's like, whoa, if things accelerated this much, or people are so angry at so many different things, and just they, they paint people in such character, caricature, like, AOC, she is a woman who I don't think there, I don't think I've ever seen anybody work so, people work so hard to mischaracterize her or paint her in a horrible light.

[1184] and I'm like look she says things that I don't agree with yeah why is everyone so fucking angry like what is this well people will put all their thing on things on you know and they have these beliefs and like definitely when I was in my whole like you know when I was extra angry and feeling you know you you have this whole system around you and you you know you can't hear the other side and you have to like yes everyone has to be a villain in that or they're either with you or against you and I don't know it's just to me it's just unhealthy i had to tap out i stopped paying attention to a lot of stuff and i don't know if that makes me ignorant i just got to live a happy life no i don't think it does make you agree i don't think it's an effective way to communicate i think it's a really piss poor way to communicate and i think it it fosters rage more than anything yeah there's something about being able to talk to people where you don't have social cues you don't have empathy you're not looking at them and people say the meanest nastiest shit to each other and it's insulting people and dunking on people is more important than actual communication well it's attention too so it's you know they're maybe trying to impress their other buddies that are on there they're trying to get those extra little likes right they're like the the main point would be they want to get your attention holy shit they got jo rogan's attention that's so cool you know they just want to feel alive or whatever and that's you know people have their own process i try to not take anything personally it's like you don't know me if you don't like me like that's weird you don't know me you shouldn't really have that much of an opinion it's like not finding your validation you can't find good stuff or the bad stuff in the comments.

[1185] You can't.

[1186] If you look at the comments for good things, it's just as bad as looking up for bad things.

[1187] Yeah.

[1188] I mean, some people think it's a good idea to gauge, like, whether or not the conversation was effective, whether or not you could have done something better to navigate it more efficiently or more entertaining for the, make it more entertaining for the people that are listening.

[1189] Looking for the constructive criticism.

[1190] Yeah.

[1191] I mean, there can be some of that from some people.

[1192] The problem is you're trying to manage all this data at scale right you're dealing with thousands and thousands of humans that are chiming in and a lot of them are deeply unhappy yeah a lot of people that are commenting on things that are just really frustrated with their lives like imagine if someone saw or listen to you when you're like fuck man and yeah and they're like oh that's who she is right exactly and then you see they see you on here laughing and being silly yeah wait a man who's this bitch yeah you know like that doesn't make any sense that's not the same person yeah well you're not the same person you're not the the same person who you were six months ago.

[1193] I know we grow in.

[1194] Hopefully.

[1195] Yeah, I hope so.

[1196] I mean, I try to do a lot of work on myself.

[1197] I stopped watching.

[1198] This was huge for me. I was watching a lot of true crime.

[1199] Oh, Jesus.

[1200] I was watching like date lines, stuff like that, all these things.

[1201] And I mean, that is fucking toxic.

[1202] People are obsessed with it.

[1203] They're obsessed with it.

[1204] And I just started to realize I know a friend of mine had, there was one about her sister.

[1205] And once I saw that and I just realized like, this is not.

[1206] this is finding entertainment out of these really real things that have happened to people in this pain and I have had fucked up things happen I've had friends have fucked up things happen I've seen these things I don't need to bring awareness to this I know that and um well a lot of women get into those true crime shows it's like dramatic and everything but it's not it's it's real these are real things that happen to people but is it because you want to know that that's out there so you can prepare yourself or so you can be aware like what is what is the appeal because apparently see find out this is true but I remember reading this that true crime shows sort of skew in their demographics more female than male like the more females are into true crime shows than male yeah I don't know I just I think it's like a beginning middle and end to a story like there's a whole plotline and then they catch the person and the way the editing is and they don't know the interviews and well for a lot in a lot of the episodes they will sometimes they catch them before they kill them and that's disappointing but it's just very young women are the biggest true crime buffs and here's why if you're even remotely interested in true crime story oh in true crime boy have the last couple years been good to you first there was the mega hit podcast serial which launched october 2014 several months later the HBO released the jinx six episode documentary blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah captivating these programs were for the general public one group in particular has become particularly enthusiastic about the genre young women it's weird and a lot of the victims are young women it's like I don't know what it is I don't know what sort of like according to Dr. Howard Foreman a forensic psychiatrist at Montefiore Medical Center the trend is rooted in empathy By the time you get to adulthood, women are able to empathize with a greater degree than men, on average.

[1207] Foreman tells tech inside of this may lead to true crime being more interesting to women than men, simply because if you empathize more with the victim, it may be more relevant to you and more gripping.

[1208] And then if you empathize with the murderer, you're in some trouble.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] Like, oh, he did a good job.

[1211] It just was too, I don't know, it just got so dark and weird.

[1212] and I had a guy in my, when I was living with my ex -boyfriend in this, in this apartment building, there was this really weird kid who was so overly familiar and just really weird with me. And I felt, I really felt threatened by him.

[1213] I felt really uncomfortable with him.

[1214] I told the landlord, you know, my boyfriend was traveling a lot for work and stuff.

[1215] So I was alone a lot.

[1216] I had a bat.

[1217] He was like maybe 18.

[1218] And you felt threatened by him.

[1219] He just was weird.

[1220] He was off.

[1221] Asperger Zee, very weird.

[1222] Like, very just the way he looked at me was weird he overly complimented me in an inappropriate way I would set up boundaries he would keep coming he tried to I was bringing my laundry up to my apartment and my boyfriend was out of town and he the kid lived on a different floor than me and he goes oh let me take your laundry I go no no and he goes oh let me take and I go no I'm I don't need your help very clear.

[1223] And then he, the door opens to the elevator.

[1224] He tries to take my laundry.

[1225] I go, no. And then I get off the elevator and I start walking and he starts following me. And I go, you don't live on this floor.

[1226] And he goes, oh, sometimes I get off here and walk up.

[1227] I go, no, you don't.

[1228] You're not supposed to be on this floor.

[1229] And then I pretended to go into someone else's apartment because I couldn't let him know where I lived.

[1230] And then he left.

[1231] So that's when I called Tate again.

[1232] And he set me up with Scott Epstein at 10th Planet.

[1233] And that's when I started doing jiu -jitsu.

[1234] Because I'm like, nobody's fucking with me anymore.

[1235] There's no, I cannot control my surroundings.

[1236] I cannot control that.

[1237] All I can do is control my ability to do.

[1238] You don't live in this same ability.

[1239] Jesus Christ.

[1240] Yeah, that's the thing that women have to deal with.

[1241] And I have experienced it to a far lesser degree with creepy dudes who want to follow me in hotels.

[1242] Oh yeah.

[1243] You have, I've seen people, people are so weird with you.

[1244] Yeah, it's weird.

[1245] They want to follow you in hotels though?

[1246] Yeah.

[1247] Like, guys follow me into the elevator and want to come to my room.

[1248] Like, hey.

[1249] Yeah.

[1250] They want to watch you jerk off.

[1251] I don't think they're like louie me please they don't want to leave me alone once I'm near them they just want to stay close to me people people come up to you and they're so um excited this is their moment they're they're shivering they're shaking I watch it all the time it's I told you I want to do a reaction where they just should have our faces your friends faces when people are approaching you we're just all like oh my god I mean they do it on a smaller scale with other people too but I mean you really have it they're always unfolding a paper they've always got something they need to share with you.

[1252] This is their big chance to tell you whatever the thing is that they need to tell you.

[1253] I mean, it is really their moment.

[1254] You're a part of people's biggest moment of their life all day long.

[1255] The biggest one is when they have a business pitch.

[1256] It's the most frustrating.

[1257] I've seen it.

[1258] I'm like, listen, we are not going into business together.

[1259] How do you know if you don't hear it?

[1260] Because I don't have time to do what I'm doing already.

[1261] And I have friends.

[1262] I'm already selling fanny packs.

[1263] I can't do more.

[1264] Super busy with the fanny pack business.

[1265] Higherprimate .com.

[1266] They're there for all your fanny pack needs.

[1267] I died when you told me you sold fanny packs.

[1268] Yeah, that's so funny.

[1269] Every month, I have to keep restocking them.

[1270] You're the king.

[1271] I don't even get it.

[1272] I sell a lot of fucking fanny packs.

[1273] They sell it crazy, but they're really high quality.

[1274] I was living out of my car when you told me that.

[1275] It's the company called Roots from Canada.

[1276] They make them super high quality leather, and I just get them to print it with a higher primate logo on them.

[1277] But you know how I found out about this company, and they're excellent fanny packs?

[1278] Did it involve anal sex?

[1279] No, dice clay.

[1280] Oh my God Dice Clay had a fanny pack on And I said Where did you get that glorious fanny pack It's like oh you like it Oh And he showed it to me And I said this is fucking excellent Can I go through?

[1281] It's roots There's nothing in there There's nothing good Chapstick Yeah It's CBD chapstick CBD huh That's the only one I fuck with I took some before it came So I didn't freak the fuck out Does that help you?

[1282] Oh there's something in here You're so rich Joe you're so rich I was living on my car parking next to one of your cars That's it right there See that roots fanny pack That's where I learned about it Oh my god Got the fucking beautiful fanny pack And then so what makes yours yours Well I bought it from the roots company I had them produce them for me And it's hard to see because this is an older one I've had this one for a few years But there's the higher primate logo That's embossed in the Can you get one that says Annie Fanny No but you can make it You'll bring it somewhere Will you let me some money Will you let me some money to make my fanny bag Glitter on it It's uh yeah I should do it like a craft thing It'll be fun should we have a craft Yeah we'll do a little craft show Puffy paints Just do it with glue You paint it with glue And then you sprinkle You know glitter all over it Yeah The glue will stick to glitter I'm very glittery Yeah there you go I don't think so I try to wear hearts though Dude that's a good look for you Yeah I'm trying to I watched this video of Elton John live all the time at, uh...

[1283] What are you showing me, Jamie?

[1284] Guys, the trend of wearing him on up here like this?

[1285] Oh, those people are cowards.

[1286] They're young.

[1287] No, no, no, no, no, no. They can throw their...

[1288] No, no, no, no, no, no. They are cowards.

[1289] They don't want to wear it as a fanny pack.

[1290] So they wear it over their shoulder because they're cowards.

[1291] Yeah, and if a hot girl comes, it doesn't like fanny packs, they can throw their elbow into it and pretend they're injured.

[1292] No. That's not what they're doing.

[1293] I got a laugh.

[1294] It's not a sling.

[1295] They're doing it because they don't want to, They want the functionality of a fanny pack, but they don't want the social stigma.

[1296] They're cowards.

[1297] Well, it's a new, yeah, it's like the Jaden Smith.

[1298] What's the Jaden Smith?

[1299] I don't know.

[1300] It's like he would wear that.

[1301] It's the younger, this is the younger generation.

[1302] They've taken our fanny packs and they've made them into something else.

[1303] Isn't he non -binary?

[1304] Maybe.

[1305] What is it saying at the bottom of that goofy picture with that coward?

[1306] What was it saying?

[1307] Fanny pack and see -through iridescent zip.

[1308] Okay.

[1309] Fuck out of it.

[1310] Don't have a see -through bag, by the way.

[1311] Nobody wants to see your tampons.

[1312] hide your purse maybe i don't know you never know with these young boys these days they're very woke they are woke they're so polite i was reading this thing about yale that want to get choked by bigfoot so i was reading this thing about yale and that yale put tampons in the men's room because they said not everyone who menstruates is a woman and i'm like yes they are i thought maybe they worked for diarrhea no yes everyone who menstruates is a woman scientific We're getting wacky.

[1313] I'm a woman right now.

[1314] Can you tell?

[1315] Wacky.

[1316] Yeah, it is a weird thing that's happening.

[1317] I'll call anyone whatever they want.

[1318] It's just a weird.

[1319] Yeah, I will too.

[1320] I have no problem.

[1321] I want, I would, I would love to make you happy as long as it doesn't.

[1322] It's so wacky.

[1323] Well, Chappelle said that thing on his special where he said, uh, um, to what degree do I have to partake in your self -esteem?

[1324] Right.

[1325] That's a good way of looking at it.

[1326] Yeah.

[1327] Yeah.

[1328] I mean, it's, it's, But it's not just that.

[1329] It's, it's an enforcement.

[1330] There's like an authoritarian enforcement of certain language and certain ways of communicating with people.

[1331] Yeah.

[1332] You know, there is a goddamn hilarious thing that Tim Pool posted up of a communist meeting where this woman is calling everyone comrades.

[1333] And this guy is like, could everyone please stop moving because could you guys please stop moving because I have severe ADD and all this moving is really distracting me. and the woman goes all right thank you comrade duly noted and then the guy goes please can you stop using gendered language when you say that it's very it's very offensive and like it is woke gone this is what i was saying before about how it's like if you're expecting the world to accommodate to you like your safe space is inside yourself you fool it's inside you you don't have control of the outside world this is people trying to control the language of everyone around them.

[1334] And then saying it's unsafe if they don't follow your new vocabulary.

[1335] That's an unfair thing.

[1336] Do you find it?

[1337] And you're unfulfilling.

[1338] It's an Asian lady and he said this can't be real.

[1339] It's like two days ago.

[1340] He put it.

[1341] Sam Harris reminded me of it.

[1342] We were fucking howling laughing about it.

[1343] It's just too much.

[1344] It's got to the point of parody.

[1345] It's like the onion is not ridiculous enough.

[1346] I know.

[1347] Like these people are more ridiculous than the most ridiculous parody.

[1348] Like you can't even mock it.

[1349] Do you think that it is them trying to see what they can get away with?

[1350] Yes.

[1351] Yes, they're little kids.

[1352] How far can I go?

[1353] They're plain make -believe.

[1354] They're, they're, I'm a chicken, you know.

[1355] I'm a woodhouse.

[1356] Someone said this to me, I can't remember who it was, but that all of the words, the keywords, the keywords that people are using now, like, triggered, safe space.

[1357] They're autistic terms.

[1358] They're terms that people use with autistic children.

[1359] Play this.

[1360] If we want to defeat capitalism, we are going to need a party that will organize working people to fight for the demands that we want, and to win socialism.

[1361] Thank you so much.

[1362] Quick point of privilege.

[1363] Quick point of personal privilege.

[1364] Guys, first of all, James Jackson, Sacramento, he him.

[1365] I just want to say, can we please keep the chatter to a minimum?

[1366] I'm one of the people who's very, very prone to sensory overload.

[1367] There's a lot of whispering and chatter going on.

[1368] It's making it very difficult for me to focus.

[1369] I know we're all fresh and ready to go, but can we please just keep the chatter to a minimum?

[1370] It's affecting my ability to focus.

[1371] Thank you.

[1372] Thank you, comrade.

[1373] Look at this guy.

[1374] Okay.

[1375] Is there a speaker against name, chapter pronoun?

[1376] Point of personal privilege.

[1377] Yes.

[1378] Please do not use gendered language to address everyone.

[1379] Okay.

[1380] Look at that red -headed monster.

[1381] Where is he?

[1382] Right in the lower right -hand corner with the halter top, whatever the fuck it is, tank top thing.

[1383] See that with the redhead, red hair, the crazy red hair?

[1384] That's the one that jumped up.

[1385] That's the he, him, she, her.

[1386] He's wearing that red.

[1387] He's wearing that redso when he gets his period.

[1388] Please do not use gendered language.

[1389] This is where we're at.

[1390] We're in nonsense land and people are acting like this is normal.

[1391] You're a bunch of babies.

[1392] What do you give a fuck if someone says guys?

[1393] Yeah, who cares what people said about you.

[1394] Say girls.

[1395] Say girls.

[1396] I could be there.

[1397] Say girls.

[1398] I don't care.

[1399] You're crazy.

[1400] Please do not use gendered language.

[1401] How does that change anything?

[1402] And by the way, if you can't deal with a bunch of things.

[1403] of people moving around and distracting making noises and shit just stop yeah get the fuck out of there yes force everybody else to deal with your fucking weak mind go home go home watch this on youtube eat a steak do some squats eat a steak eat some elk get your fucking life in order go fuck big foot all right go fuck a goddamn big foot go write a big foot fuck book and make millions what is this seminar about about being an asshole communism it's just it's just so it's like playing on this thing too where it's like I want people to feel good I was a special ed teacher I've done on these things special ed kids wouldn't have been talking like this asking for all these things and well this is what they with these kids are calling socialism right like this is what I mean everyone has to be like super super sensitive and aware of every single fucking thing they do and every single fucking thing that everybody around them does and everybody has to comply and everybody keeps you a victim too because it's impossible for that to happen so no one's ever going to comply to everything you say there's always going to be one person And even if they don't, even if they want to, maybe they were listening to something else and they didn't know that that's what they were supposed to do or whatever.

[1404] So then there's always going to be, you're always going to be a victim of something.

[1405] Someone's always said the wrong thing.

[1406] They've always done the wrong thing.

[1407] And all of your worth is from something outside of yourself.

[1408] And you now don't have to deal with your own.

[1409] which is a...

[1410] P .O .C. Isn't that people of color?

[1411] That is a weird one.

[1412] Yeah.

[1413] Like the NCAA.

[1414] Or NWACP, rather, National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, which is bananas.

[1415] Like, you can't say that.

[1416] You can't even say that anymore.

[1417] It's like so dumb.

[1418] It's such a weird thing.

[1419] And also, I feel like if people stopped having attachment to words, you could stop having them mean anything.

[1420] Like, they wouldn't hurt you.

[1421] Well, Lenny Bruce talked about that in the 60s.

[1422] It was one of his bit.

[1423] in the 60s he would call people by a bunch of ethnic slurs and then say you know the problem with not saying these words is that if you say these words enough time they lose all their meaning and it's not going to hurt some kids feelings I'm paraphrasing but this is the opposite and you know what they did to him nothing they turned him into a woman and Miss Maisel oh they rerouted him I've watched a little bit I think it's good I haven't watched um but it is weird right Mrs. Maisel is him yeah she's the motherfucker i audition for that and then when i saw her tits in the front i'm like my tits auditioned for her tits that's like amazing you want to show your tits no but in the first scene she showed her tits i was like all right thank you thank you for getting me that audition i don't understand what you're saying she showed her tits in the first scene and i didn't realize that that was going to be in the scene they didn't make me go topless or whatever but i was honored to have been in the same audition pool is oh okay it's rachel brosanham and her big juicy she looked great She looks great.

[1424] She's got a killer body.

[1425] She's a great actress.

[1426] She is hilarious.

[1427] But I was talking to a male comic.

[1428] It was really funny.

[1429] And he was like, I don't like that fucking show because there was no woman like that back then.

[1430] Yeah, there was no Superman either, man. Like, what the fuck you're talking about?

[1431] There's no Walking Dead.

[1432] Rick didn't kill any zombies.

[1433] Guess what?

[1434] It's all fake.

[1435] Like, is it really freak you out?

[1436] There was a woman comic.

[1437] Like, it's a show about comedy.

[1438] Right.

[1439] It's a funny show about comedy.

[1440] You should be excited if there's a show about stand -up comedy in the 1950s and 60s.

[1441] it's fucking great yeah like so what do you care if they made up a woman like why well they're not getting represented the white men it's not even that it's like it's like a historical thing like yeah it was bothering him historically it is that they are they are intersecting with real things that happen so i can see where that's a little annoying i don't want to bring up elton john again but i did see rocket man and it is it was weird when they were not if there were things that happened and you're why do you say bring up helton john again because i keep bringing him up yeah you just didn't even why did you bring him up early why did you bring him up early I've just been talking about him the whole time.

[1442] Did she?

[1443] No. Because I listened to Ellen John a lot.

[1444] Did you?

[1445] Yeah, I watched this one live video of him a lot.

[1446] I don't think you said that.

[1447] I did.

[1448] Did you?

[1449] Yeah.

[1450] I forgot.

[1451] Okay.

[1452] That's okay.

[1453] I can only be expected to be listened to 20 % of the time.

[1454] What was wrong with Rocket Man?

[1455] Well, it's just he didn't write the lyrics, which they said.

[1456] But then the whole movie was like trying to force these life events into the lyrics.

[1457] So it was like, but he didn't write it.

[1458] So he didn't write it.

[1459] So it just wasn't, it didn't feel real.

[1460] I would have rather have heard more shit about when he married that woman and stuff.

[1461] He married a woman?

[1462] Yeah, he married a woman.

[1463] Whoa.

[1464] How frustrated was she?

[1465] She must have been really horny.

[1466] Just sliding around in there.

[1467] She probably didn't know.

[1468] She probably rich.

[1469] But I think, I think probably maybe it was just a beard situation, you know?

[1470] Sure.

[1471] But also.

[1472] There's got to be a lot of those.

[1473] It's a lot of guys that want to believe that they can be straight, you know?

[1474] That's why they buy the Whitney Cummings.

[1475] doll but that's where like that all pray the gay away stuff is oh yeah have you ever heard of those pray the gay way camps where these guys are sitting around holding men with boners they they really get hard on holding you and telling you you you're not gay yeah like hey what the fuck's going on back yeah it's fucking crazy it's like it's so wild to not be like just lean into what you are your happiness your joy yeah but think about yourself you were raised a quaker what if you raise some wildly homophobic christian you know anybody who does that as Satan worshiper and you're going to go burn in hell and you live with all this guilt and sin.

[1476] Just feeling like that shame that you're rotten or whatever.

[1477] I mean, I definitely have my own shame and I know probably everyone carries them with them.

[1478] I can't imagine on that scale.

[1479] That sucks.

[1480] That is probably one of the biggest ones if you're raised Christian though.

[1481] If you're raised like serious Christian, especially fundamental, you know, like it's one of the worst sins to lay with another man and just dealing with it the dick that they must get at those camps oh my god i mean they must just be pounding each other out they probably come so quick because they can't believe they're actually they're just like and then they have that camaraderie in the fact that they both are trying to not be this thing oh my god i'm getting horn you just talking about it honestly i have a new genre it's not bigfoot we have to we have to work through this i mean i'm not gay and you're not gay even though we just fucked i know just crying and each other's gay arms what a sneaky trick if you believe in god that god did god said listen you cannot have sex with men but you're going to want nothing you're really going to want it they're going to want that all day you're going to see their juicy assholes all day you want it more than food you want it more than water you just want dick and butt dick and butt dude dick but oh firemen and fucking cops and construction workers and Indians and cowboys.

[1482] And then a band's going to come out and they're all going to play each part and you're going to have to try to not fuck them.

[1483] And then you can't even go to the YMCA anymore.

[1484] It's, I mean, if you really believe in Jesus and you really believe that you shouldn't be gay, but you are gay, what a dirty trick God has played on you.

[1485] Must be terrible.

[1486] I just feel like there's nothing more dangerous than repressed.

[1487] That's got to be where cancer, not just homosexuality, but repressing any sort of feelings like that sure it's gotta be what cancer is well repressed sexualities always strange like when i was in high school there was always these girls from catholic school and girls from catholic school that went to all girls catholic schools were the biggest hoes i know they could not they couldn't wait to get some deck because it was so forbidden it was a forbidden fruit they just would get so excited they couldn't believe it was real just fighting off these hormones it's just such a terrible trick to play on a young person yeah to tell them that their body is dirty and awful and these thoughts that are just prevalent omnipresent in their mind or the wicked ways of the devil and that which you resist persists you know you're just thinking about that fucking butthole all day fucking sucking a dick fat juicy hog you just can't have it yeah I mean it's terrible it's really bad you guys if you're out there listen let's just say let's God let God give you a hall pass Go fucking asshole Go fucking asshole Go suck a dick Or just move to Boys Town And realize like you're gonna be fine There's a group of them They get together And they have a great old time There's a parade They're so happy If you go down that street West Hollywood is the happiest It's so happy They're free They don't even Their shoulders are exposed Like there's just tank tops Everywhere just hair shaved Anything you want Just every type I love going I feel invisible.

[1488] It's amazing.

[1489] I love a lot.

[1490] I could walk bottomless and they would just...

[1491] I've talked to gay guys, though, they get mad that straight guys and straight girls are going to gay clubs now to hang out.

[1492] That it's like a weird thing.

[1493] Cultural appropriation.

[1494] Talk to Martindale.

[1495] Well, I could see where you'd be like...

[1496] Where you'd be like, hey, this was like our place to fuck.

[1497] And now you're here, like, you're wearing glitter?

[1498] Yeah, get the fuck out of here.

[1499] You're wearing rainbows.

[1500] Remember Dimitri Martin had that joke about where he's like, um, gay is just...

[1501] get, I can't, I'm paraphrasing, but gays just get rainbows.

[1502] That's not fair.

[1503] You just get fractured light, like greedy, greedy gays.

[1504] I mean, this is back in the day when you could say stuff like that.

[1505] Yeah, I had a bit about, that was pretty similar about that they, it was because of Duck Dynasty, one of the guys from Duck Dynasty was giving, I don't get it, I don't understand what gay.

[1506] And my bit was like, listen, you should shut the fuck up or the gay people will take over camo the same way they took the rainbow.

[1507] Oh, that's so funny.

[1508] They own the rainbow.

[1509] The rainbow used to be leprechauns.

[1510] used to be the Lucky Charms guy.

[1511] Now it's gay people to the point where if I came on stage with a fucking rainbow T -shirt on, people would be like, I knew it.

[1512] I knew it.

[1513] We've been waiting for this moment.

[1514] I fucking knew it.

[1515] But the idea was that if, like, what all the gay guys would have to do is start every gay porn in a duck blind.

[1516] Oh my God.

[1517] Every gay porn would start with a...

[1518] That's so funny.

[1519] They're wearing camo and they're duck hunting.

[1520] And then someone would come in, a black guy would come in and go, something about duck hunting make me horn that like duck whistle thing oh my god my friend worked on my friend mike who i stayed with worked on duck dynasty so he knows all those guys that seemed like a trip are they butt fucking all the time when no one's looking i don't think so but you know it is funny when you take just a family and then you make them stars and they you know they cross between reality and yeah all that stuff and then they go crazy and then they all a sudden they're on their own and they get interviewed and they say something really crazy do you know what I mean yeah the minute they're not yeah some TMZ guy puts a camera in their face yeah are they still doing that show I don't think so how could they stop it seems like it was just printing money yeah I wonder I mean maybe they are I know my friend doesn't work for them anymore but yeah they're still doing Duck Dynasty yeah I don't know I give him the credit for Duck Dynasty whether he wants or not I don't know how that show final episode March 29 2017.

[1521] How does that show end ever?

[1522] It feels like a smart producer should step in and go, hey guys, it's been a couple of years.

[1523] I don't know.

[1524] Someone falls asleep with a cigarette in their mouth.

[1525] I don't know.

[1526] It's gone.

[1527] All that camo gone.

[1528] It's just, it's weird.

[1529] If you watch that show, it's like, there's nothing compelling about it at all, but it was an enormous hit.

[1530] Yeah.

[1531] Just a bunch of people doing duck stuff.

[1532] There is something about reality TV.

[1533] where you're just like, it's so thoughtless.

[1534] You just don't have to, you're just being taken on this dumb, dumb ride.

[1535] And you're just like, you know?

[1536] It's just, it's nothing happening.

[1537] It's like, all right.

[1538] Next thing you know, you're watching people dissect a storage container.

[1539] Yeah, but you know what I really like is Survivor.

[1540] That one I still like.

[1541] Survivor.

[1542] I still like Survivor, I think is the number one reality show.

[1543] Because it's making people, it's taking away all of their comforts and they still have to, communicate with each other, play games with each other.

[1544] They have to, they're starving.

[1545] They have to do these physical.

[1546] It's still, you're watching people be like tested and put to the limit.

[1547] What season is that on?

[1548] Oh my God.

[1549] There's so many seasons.

[1550] It's like season one million.

[1551] I've seen all of them.

[1552] It's so good.

[1553] I don't, I don't pay attention to them fully so I can rewatch them at some point.

[1554] I've watched them a couple of times.

[1555] That show was on before Fear Factor.

[1556] So I, we started Fear Factor in 2001.

[1557] So that show was probably on in 2000.

[1558] Yeah.

[1559] And 19, years later it's in the 30s now 30 seasons or something 33rd yeah i'm embarrassed i don't know it because that's how much is it still a hit yeah it's amazing listen people either are onto survivor or they're not well they've actually done 38 episodes or seasons somehow it says but this is the 30 yeah they do several a year now is it uh still jeff probes he's still the host it's still under the radar like jeff probs just like get those checks and stays and yeah but here's the deal i've seen him driving around he had his little summer fedora he was riding in his Prius I was like he drives a Prius this was like three years ago I saw him driving around stockpiling all the cheese yeah maybe he's rich dad poured out no I mean he must have all his money just stocked away he's driving around a Prius he's the he's I love the show maybe he knows that he could take this away from him at any moment like if somebody replaced him would you notice is he an integral part of the show I think people would be upset they would be upset what if Mario Lopez took a spot I think think people would be very upset.

[1560] I think they'd be extra upset.

[1561] But if Adam Kroa took a spot?

[1562] They would get canceled.

[1563] People would be like, Trump, no!

[1564] Is he a Trump supporter?

[1565] I think so.

[1566] Adam?

[1567] I think so.

[1568] But I don't know for it.

[1569] Listen, I don't know for sure.

[1570] I don't want to call anyone anything.

[1571] I think he's conservative.

[1572] I think he is a Trump supporter, though.

[1573] Some people get conservative when they start making money, though.

[1574] Listen, everyone has the right to be whatever the fuck they are.

[1575] Are you think?

[1576] I think so.

[1577] What about Nazis?

[1578] They have more of a right.

[1579] a third right I don't think that's right I think it's something That's a different word It's like Reich What does that even mean What is Third Reich?

[1580] I don't know I don't even literally don't I mean I know what the Third Reich is But I don't even know what it means Take a guess I literally have no idea what that means I know it means the Nazis right I don't know Third Reich but what does it mean But isn't that funny thing Like that's like Third Reich Is like everyone knows Nazis But no one knows what the fuck that means The etymology?

[1581] Yeah.

[1582] You with the big words.

[1583] I know a few.

[1584] What does it mean?

[1585] Third regime or empire or third realm?

[1586] Huh.

[1587] So the third version of the Nazi party?

[1588] The first was the Holy Roman Empire, which lasted until 1806.

[1589] The second would be 1871 to 1918, and this was the third.

[1590] Interesting.

[1591] So they were just, they were considering themselves to be the third rulers of the world, like the Romans.

[1592] Interesting.

[1593] Yeah.

[1594] What a mess.

[1595] And the crazy thing is that that was not that long ago.

[1596] It was not that long ago.

[1597] It was not that long ago at all.

[1598] Have you ever seen the video of Hitler tweaking at the 1936 Olympics?

[1599] Twerking?

[1600] Tweak.

[1601] Like speed.

[1602] He was on serious speed.

[1603] We were with Brian Moses.

[1604] Brian Moses was saying that Hitler was into bull semen.

[1605] And I was like, what?

[1606] And he's like, yeah.

[1607] And then we found out the Torrine, which is in Red Bull, actually, is from Bullsemen.

[1608] Oh, my God.

[1609] That's so fun.

[1610] That's why I like Red Bull.

[1611] Look this.

[1612] that's hitler tweaking oh my god look at him go straight up tweaking at the olympics so he was on all kinds of crazy speed and then we read this thing about how he was like incredibly fatigued and almost dying and he um got injected with testosterone and cocaine and oxycodone and then went and talked musilini out of uh leaving the war because musilini wanted to get the fuck out of world war two and hitler went and just talked at him for five hours, all coked up and oxycodoned out and bull cum dripping down his throat.

[1613] Oh, my God.

[1614] Yeah.

[1615] How did he extract the bull come?

[1616] I don't know, but bull semen apparently has this torring stuff in it, and they extract touring from some other method to make the torrents in red bull.

[1617] Actually, that's what the guys at the gay to pray the gay away camp do.

[1618] That's their job.

[1619] Take it away from the tap.

[1620] They're extracting.

[1621] dick you deserve all that well do you remember i always think about that horse guy in zoo the documentary that that documentary is amazing that video of the i'm so trying and the part that i'm traumatized by is not the fucking part okay and do you remember the scene okay so he gets up on the bucket right and then you know they need like several people to grab this giant horse cog and put in his ass and then the horse rams him only once and then he goes this is the part that got me he goes he looks back and he goes did he come Like he was so concerned if the horse came.

[1622] I was like, oh my God.

[1623] Yeah, and the guy made a noise like, like a noise where you're dying because he got fucking death by a horse.

[1624] He was.

[1625] He died so soon after.

[1626] And then his friend goes, too much?

[1627] Too much.

[1628] Like, did you get too much horse dick?

[1629] Did you get too much horse dick?

[1630] And he did.

[1631] He died.

[1632] If you look at the math, the size of a horse dick or the size of a body cavity, it's like, where is it going?

[1633] Yeah.

[1634] What's getting out of the way to make room for that dick?

[1635] Oh, boy.

[1636] They dropped him off at the hospital.

[1637] They rolled him out.

[1638] And he bled out.

[1639] He bled out from his asshole.

[1640] He died happy.

[1641] I don't think he did.

[1642] You don't think he was like, maybe this was worth it?

[1643] I don't think he was worth it.

[1644] I don't think he would have been worth it?

[1645] He would have thought it was worth it?

[1646] Well, the horse did come.

[1647] But do you know that this whole thing, they had hundreds and hundreds of hours of footage of him getting fucked by donkeys and horses and a bunch of other people, that these people had met online?

[1648] And zoophilia, right, is the...

[1649] medical terminology for someone who's sexually attracted to farm animals, or animals, period.

[1650] And so these people all met online in some chat room and then decided to get together in Washington State where it was still legal to fuck animals.

[1651] There's like only a few states where it's okay.

[1652] It's so funny that there has to be a law.

[1653] Yeah, there has to be a law.

[1654] Are you just so happy that's not what you're into?

[1655] I'm just like, I just wake up so grateful and blessed.

[1656] I go, thank God.

[1657] Right.

[1658] Could you imagine if that was your trick?

[1659] Oh, thank God.

[1660] Thank you.

[1661] You can't control that, right?

[1662] If you get some, like some people are into feet, some people are into getting fucked by more so.

[1663] Oh, segwaying into feet, huh?

[1664] Yes, people are into feet.

[1665] Have you heard?

[1666] I've heard they're into feet.

[1667] I can't believe it.

[1668] Well, I was reading up on it that it's the part of the brain that handles your genitals and your feet are right next.

[1669] They're adjacent.

[1670] So sometimes the, they think that the wires get crossed.

[1671] Because, and the guy that studied it was a guy who studied, uh, phantom limb syndrome and he was so he was following up on these people's brains where they would feel that they still had a foot or whatever and some guys would get horny it would get their brain so it was just like crossed huh we get horny thinking of their own not foot oh it's hilarious how you pixelate your feet and all those pictures like it really is funny how'd that get started they just people were they started a wiki feet account for me i just didn't know if my feet were a thing I just didn't know.

[1672] I thought I was just walking around in slides.

[1673] Didn't know I was walking around.

[1674] I may as well have just been bottomless.

[1675] I may as well have just been wearing like pajama bottoms with the ass flap backwards open.

[1676] Just put, I mean, my little feet pussy is just walking around.

[1677] So then once people, I noticed the Wiki feet thing and then people were DMing me all the time to see my feet.

[1678] And I just was like, you don't get this.

[1679] If you talk to Whitney about her DMs?

[1680] Whitney shares DMs with us sometimes.

[1681] That's so funny.

[1682] group Chathamon with Nick Swartz and Christaly and Whitney and she'll post pictures of her DMs it's like what in the fuck yeah they're wild I do a thing on my podcast and on my live stream it sometimes where I sage my pussy at the end of the night sage it I get sage and I just yeah I just to break the the negative dick cords that were sent to me the unwanted dick cords from all these dudes I'm like yeah put your dick cords away but you know people are perves what are you gonna do I just make fun of them but it's more guys that are perves than girls that are perves with stuff like feet and stuff yeah I think so.

[1683] Is there a thing that girls are into that's kind of gross?

[1684] Money it's so gross.

[1685] But that makes sense like money can keep you don't like your job some people are into like fat guys some people are into I don't know it's people are into all different things but but not in the same way it's not the same you're right it's not the same some guys are into fat girls too but there's a big difference between that and feet men are just very gross you're gross but it's Biologically, your dicks are just, you're just ruled, your dicks are just dragging you through the world.

[1686] And it's just got to be acknowledged.

[1687] We can't pretend this isn't the thing.

[1688] True.

[1689] Just dragging you.

[1690] It's just that's not, we're like breastfeeding and shit.

[1691] We're thinking about other shit.

[1692] In archery, there's a term called front of center, meaning how much weight is in the front of the arrow.

[1693] It determines, like, how much penetration the arrow will have on an animal.

[1694] I'm getting so horny.

[1695] This is so weird.

[1696] What are you talking about?

[1697] It's like the thing with dicks.

[1698] it's like dicks are like your front of center it's like dragging you forward no they're just i like i feel like you guys should be like holding yourselves back through doorways because your dicks are pulling you through things and it makes life a lot easier when you just realize that but i think it's like i just have only grown up a girl so i just didn't you know i knew obviously because i've had a lot of sexual attention even very young but it's it's just like your dicks are a thing well there's a reason why there's seven billion people and it's not because because of it's not necessarily because women are that horny right i think it's just dudes are trying so hard to fuck i know body's compelled i mean this is a evolutionary thing and it used to be really hard to stay alive yeah not that long ago yeah and now it's really easy and we're kind of left with the burden of this shift yeah we haven't our brains and our biology hasn't really caught up to the fact that we don't need to have as many people as we used to we used to you know I used to have a 50 % mortality rate amongst children.

[1699] It was very difficult to survive.

[1700] And I think that's also well...

[1701] That was just in China too.

[1702] You're seeing more shifting with, you know, like those guys in that video, these beta guys, the one guy calling out for people to stop being distracting and the other one calling out for people to stop using gendered language.

[1703] Like, who are they?

[1704] Well, they wouldn't survive if there was a, you know, the Roman army was invading.

[1705] Like, they would have never made it.

[1706] Yeah, I wonder who's fucking them.

[1707] Nobody.

[1708] Nobody.

[1709] Maybe they're just men that aren't driven by that, you know?

[1710] No, that's not true.

[1711] That's just as good as they can get.

[1712] They just genes, circumstances.

[1713] They're getting attention and stuff from it.

[1714] Yes, it's a mess.

[1715] They're a mess.

[1716] It's so weird how much we're, how much of our caveman shit is still there and how much of the survival stuff.

[1717] Like, I've been doing, listening to a lot of therapy podcast, there's just one called the adult chair.

[1718] It's this woman, Michelle Schaafunt.

[1719] And she's just, it's all about dealing like with your inner child and then all, and all of your instincts, she has like the adolescent chair and the adult chair.

[1720] And your adolescent chair is all of your ego and your emotions and your fight or flight, like all of that, the stuff that you do, the procrastination, whatever is your problem.

[1721] Like, why is that happening?

[1722] There's something that's coming from either your child chair or something from your childhood or things like socially, when you have social anxiety and panic attacks and stuff.

[1723] So much of it could be just back from in the days, if you were excommunicated from your tribe, like you would die.

[1724] If you weren't a part of the club, you would fucking die.

[1725] Whitney Cummings and we're still in that.

[1726] That's the reason why people are afraid of public speaking is that when you were speaking in front of a group, you were trying to save your life.

[1727] You were trying to plead your case for the most part.

[1728] Unless you were the leader of the tribe, most of the people were just trying to say, please, I didn't know and don't kill me. Is that how you feel walking around?

[1729] Me?

[1730] No. No, but some people do.

[1731] At the comedy store, people are like, merciful king no you know how i feel walking around i feel like they don't it's like they don't have anybody how's it's the way to put it when you are listening to someone all the time and that person's in your ear the person becomes like a weird part of your life and then you meet them and you're like whoa this is crazy that you're right here i've experienced that when i remember when i first met anthony bourdain i was weirded out i said i can't believe you're right here it's so weird And I've gotten used to that over time, but still it's strange when I meet famous people.

[1732] Yeah.

[1733] You know, when I meet, and it's even weirder when I meet famous people and they know me. I'm like, you know, okay.

[1734] Yeah.

[1735] And then we become famous people together.

[1736] Like, hi, famous person.

[1737] I know.

[1738] I've seen that before.

[1739] It's fucking strange.

[1740] When two famous people just see, and then you're just already in this weird club of famous people.

[1741] Mm -hmm.

[1742] It's strange.

[1743] Yeah.

[1744] Automatically Famous People Club?

[1745] Well, it's not a normal state.

[1746] And it's not, I mean, and people that are, that enjoy the podcast and it becomes a part of their life and maybe it benefits them.

[1747] And maybe they start getting motivated and cleaning up their life and start being healthier and exercising and eating better.

[1748] And then then it becomes just like almost like a religion kind of thing.

[1749] But because it becomes the thing that you think of, you know, in terms of like how to benefit your life, how to live in a positive way.

[1750] You think about the things you learned on the podcast, almost like you would look at a religious doctrine.

[1751] Yeah.

[1752] You look at the, the teaching.

[1753] of Christ, you know, you look at the teachings of Moses, or you look at like, oh, what Rhonda Patrick said was this.

[1754] Oh, well, you know, what Graham Hancock was talking about that.

[1755] Your voice is like in their head.

[1756] You're like an unhired coach to them.

[1757] There's a little bit of that.

[1758] And it's also represents my own quest to try to figure out my own life and to do it publicly and explain what I've learned and how I've failed and what I've gotten better at.

[1759] It helps other people when you hear that because you go oh okay i'm not alone like i'm because people think that if like your life is in order right now that it's always been like that so i think it really helps people to hear like oh i used to be a fucking loser yeah and i did and i used to be scared to talk to bank tellers and it was true yeah i used to be weirded out socially i was very strange now can they hear your voice over the chiching chiching chiching because you're rich oh that's in your head you're my richest friend Am I?

[1760] Probably.

[1761] I'm guessing.

[1762] Probably.

[1763] I can't imagine who's richer.

[1764] Well, someday you'll be rich too.

[1765] I can't wait.

[1766] We'll laugh.

[1767] We'll laugh.

[1768] You have laughed at me before.

[1769] Will you get those same kind of glasses but surround them with diamonds?

[1770] Yeah, I want to get jewels.

[1771] I could see those.

[1772] How long do you think it's going to take?

[1773] To surround them with diamonds?

[1774] You just order them.

[1775] You don't even think about it because you're too busy doing other things.

[1776] I'm so busy.

[1777] Yes, so busy.

[1778] Are you culturally appropriating with those hoop earrings?

[1779] Because I don't think that's...

[1780] Have you heard my joke about that?

[1781] No. about how I got accused of cultural appropriation for wearing these hoops.

[1782] It's hilarious.

[1783] Because, uh, but, but, uh, my, my best friend, she's black.

[1784] But I did, I did, uh, slide them off her neck.

[1785] She's African.

[1786] Oh, I do want to be a part of her tribe.

[1787] That's the joke.

[1788] That is the craziest shit when they stretch their neck out with those things.

[1789] I know.

[1790] I'm like, this is when you can get mad at the Jenner's for cultural approval is when they have the lip plate.

[1791] You know what I mean?

[1792] When they come with the stretched out thing.

[1793] Surry women, yeah.

[1794] It's just, cultural appropriation.

[1795] are weird, I don't know, I think we should all be dressing alike.

[1796] I think that's cool.

[1797] That we all should be, well.

[1798] I mean, you shouldn't be like disrespecting people's culture and stuff, but I don't know what, it just seems like a...

[1799] Most of what we're calling cultural appropriation today is people looking for a reason and complain.

[1800] Yeah.

[1801] Cultural appropriation is one of the reasons why cities are so interesting, because we share each other's food, we share each other's clothes and listen to each other's music and, you know, wear each other's jewelry.

[1802] It's nonsense.

[1803] And what's interesting is, like, how many people from America are upset about, about things, but then when people from China or Japan find out that we're wearing a Chinese, like Japanese geisha clothes.

[1804] We also do Bukaki?

[1805] They're so pissed.

[1806] No, they like it.

[1807] They're happy.

[1808] But there is, wouldn't you?

[1809] I feel like there's been times where I've just done stuff online.

[1810] You know, I'll have a bit or whatever.

[1811] And then someone else starts doing it.

[1812] And you don't, you get mad at that.

[1813] Well, that's different.

[1814] Not a bit, not a joke.

[1815] I mean, just like a thing I'm doing.

[1816] Well, that's different because then you feel like someone's copying you.

[1817] whatever i just make another thing but then some people some people some people get mad like oh i'm doing a podcast now he's doing a podcast so you copy me like hey fuck face you don't own podcast that's ridiculous i have a podcast that's called the joe rogan experience that's fine i've literally had that conversation with people where they were like mad but now he's doing a podcast i'm like what are you talking about stupid there's 600 000 fucking also it just doesn't have to do with you just focus aim your era bitch like handle your own life it's it's so with your own shit.

[1818] I have lived as a victim for many years.

[1819] There is a benefit to it because you're always fed it.

[1820] If you are looking at the world like you're a victim, you will be given everything you need.

[1821] Please don't stop using gender language.

[1822] You're going to be so, everyone's going to be disappointing you, everyone's going to be upsetting you, or you can just accept some fucking responsibility and it feels so good.

[1823] Yeah.

[1824] It feels good.

[1825] It does feel good.

[1826] Yeah.

[1827] I mean, it feels good to be calm and to just be at peace.

[1828] And, you know, there's a lot of work involved in that.

[1829] You got to fucking, you got to meditate.

[1830] You got to iron out your own stuff.

[1831] You got to exercise.

[1832] It's a work in progress.

[1833] Yes, we all are.

[1834] I'm fucking trying, man. I'm fucking trying.

[1835] I have to wrap this up.

[1836] If anybody wants to see you, you are at the comedy store on a regular basis.

[1837] You got any other dates?

[1838] I'm at the comedy store a regular basis.

[1839] I'm at the blue room in Missouri.

[1840] What's the blue room?

[1841] Let's look it up right now.

[1842] Is it the city in Missouri?

[1843] Or is it just you have to find it in the state?

[1844] It's a big state.

[1845] Is there a place?

[1846] Let's look it up.

[1847] All right.

[1848] I should have had this ready.

[1849] You don't even know where you are?

[1850] When is this?

[1851] It's Springfield, Missouri.

[1852] Talk in the microphone.

[1853] It's in Springfield, Missouri.

[1854] When is that?

[1855] It is not this weekend next weekend.

[1856] It is on August 17th and 18th.

[1857] In Springfield, Missouri.

[1858] A website where people could find all this stuff.

[1859] Annie Letterman .com.

[1860] And Annie Letterman on Instagram.

[1861] On Instagram.

[1862] I'm also at Go Bananas.

[1863] October, the third weekend in October.

[1864] Which one?

[1865] Go bananas in Cincinnati.

[1866] Beautiful.

[1867] At the end of October, second to last weekend, I should have filed these ready.

[1868] And my new podcast.

[1869] Me Inspiration on all things comedy.

[1870] What is it called?

[1871] Me Inspiration?

[1872] Yeah.

[1873] Okay.

[1874] Annie?

[1875] Thank you.

[1876] Thank you, Joe.

[1877] Good to see you, my friend.

[1878] I'll see you at the store.

[1879] You too.

[1880] Yeah, I'll see you tonight.

[1881] Bye, everybody.

[1882] Bye guys.

[1883] Joe.

[1884] That was fun.

[1885] ha ha ha ha