#1061 - Tom Papa

[0] Three, two, one.

[1] I'm Papa.

[2] See how happy you get.

[3] Thank you for the gift.

[4] You're welcome.

[5] I've always wondered one of these.

[6] It's amazing.

[7] Not really.

[8] It is.

[9] I got two things that I really don't want today.

[10] One was herpes.

[11] One was Yeezys.

[12] You'll love them.

[13] Jamie thinks I'll love...

[14] He got me the wrong pair, and I said, take these back.

[15] These are yours.

[16] You keep them.

[17] And he came back and brought me the right side.

[18] He insists.

[19] First, you brought me the wrong size.

[20] What's wrong with them?

[21] They're fucking preposterous.

[22] Let me see them.

[23] If you're Brendan Chob, they're the perfect thing because they're in.

[24] This looks like something from the 90s.

[25] Yeah.

[26] Like some kind of shoe from the 90s.

[27] Now, what level of outrage would there be if I started wearing these to run the mountains?

[28] What if they were really comfortable when you liked them?

[29] Is that what's going on?

[30] so you think that if I put them on I would all of a sudden love them and I would get it.

[31] Those are street maybe.

[32] Are those for the street?

[33] Does he have like a bird heel where you have like a extra hook in the back of the heel?

[34] Yeah.

[35] Like why is it go like a normal heel?

[36] Like here's a normal heel.

[37] Right.

[38] So that goes flat.

[39] Flush.

[40] Yeah it's flat this like goes out at an angle.

[41] This one does too.

[42] That does two.

[43] It's the boost.

[44] It's the stylus shoe.

[45] It's the bottom.

[46] It's what It's part of the Adidas.

[47] Is it the style or is it the...

[48] Is it the style or is it the feel that you really like?

[49] The feel.

[50] Well, both, honestly, both.

[51] But these are really comfortable shoes.

[52] The boost is super comfortable.

[53] Is this an Adidas made shoe?

[54] Oh, so Adidas makes the easies?

[55] Yeah, and there's just no Adidas logo on there, so it's hard to tell that.

[56] You're starting to like them.

[57] You're starting to warm up.

[58] Well, I'm weird how they have this, like, military style number thing on the side, like some fucking Korean missile.

[59] What is that?

[60] I couldn't tell you what it stands for.

[61] I've seen multiple things.

[62] It could just be supply.

[63] It could be an acronym for something.

[64] Yeah, they look like they're from the 90s.

[65] It does, right?

[66] Enjoy them.

[67] Enjoy them.

[68] Thank you, sir.

[69] Why an accordion?

[70] Like, what is, are you a monkey?

[71] No, the guy who has the accordion, the monkey dancing.

[72] The monkey dances.

[73] I love the sound of an accordion.

[74] And I just, I saw it.

[75] And I just wanted to bring something to the new studio.

[76] Like how you have a lot of weird shit here And this is weird That somebody loved this sound so much That they decided Let's make an instrument out of it Yeah, are there like real complicated ones of those Are like big?

[77] Do people play them in orchestras and shit?

[78] No, I don't think they made it into the orchestra So it's never been like a really respected piece of musical instrument Zidico, New Orleans Buckwheat Zidico, you ever hear that guy?

[79] Sure, yeah Yeah, like Poka A lot of Polish polio Zamfier master of the pan flute of course what happened to that poor bastard like he had a whole marketing team behind him they're like dude no one's done this no one's done this but we're gonna do this master of the pan flute DVD CDs VHS tapes we're gonna sell it all there's literally no competition there's nothing you can do this you're Zamfair he's the Tony Hawk of the pan flute right here he is give me some volume of this guy Look at the chest hair and the chain, the gold chain.

[80] 20 million records, what?

[81] Zampir.

[82] Look at this.

[83] He looks like a guy that works in the deli.

[84] That is a very forgettable sound.

[85] It's a recorder.

[86] It's for like one of the things you learn when you're in fourth grade and they teach you music.

[87] That goofy flute -like thing.

[88] I never paid attention to the recorder Because they gave me the recorder And I go, well, how come I don't see this in bands The fuck out of here I'm not going to spend some time Learning an instrument that no one plays You had to though You had to carry it in your sock Do you remember you had to put it in your sock They didn't even have cases They just give you a old tube sock from your dad And put it in there That's right No one makes a case for the fucking recorder No you have to put in your dad sock and it didn't make any sense either that it was oh he's got it but he plays a flute right well it said pan flute when I typed it in but it's a flute rock flute well he's a bad motherfucker yeah Jeff Rotel's he's good and crazy he's good and crazy he looks like he lives in a hollowed out tree right he does oh my god scurries out when you walk by on the trail hello has anybody else figured out how to use the flute in rock and roll music besides Jeff Rothel?

[89] Yeah, there's been some flute.

[90] There's been, uh...

[91] But not like him, right?

[92] Where it's a part of it.

[93] The lead.

[94] He's a lead guy.

[95] Isn't that weird how like a band will come along and they'll just figure out how to do something that no one's figured out?

[96] Yeah.

[97] Yeah, exactly.

[98] No, we're going to do this.

[99] Yeah, we're just going to throw a flute in the mix.

[100] And then everybody's like, I like it.

[101] Yeah, it kind of works.

[102] Should we get a flute?

[103] I was, uh, I was doing this show last weekend, and this guy had an oboe.

[104] He was like the, in San Francisco, he's one of the, like, the oboists in the world.

[105] He's playing this instrument.

[106] It's very melancholy, just beautiful.

[107] But it really was occurring to me, like, why, who built this, who thought this sound was so important?

[108] When?

[109] That they decided, we're going to make an instrument so we can recreate this feeling and this sound for all those instruments.

[110] Boy, if you gave me a pen and a paper, and told me to draw an oboe, I'd be fucked.

[111] Yeah, it's not what I thought it was.

[112] I was like, oh, yeah.

[113] Before you pull up a picture of it, let me think of what it looks like.

[114] I want to think, and I'm thinking of a trombone.

[115] I'm thinking of a thing where, but it's definitely not that.

[116] I thought it was way bigger.

[117] Yeah.

[118] Well, okay, pull it up.

[119] Let me see what the obo is.

[120] Straight up.

[121] Oh, it looks like a flute.

[122] Yeah, it's straight.

[123] It looks almost like a clarinet.

[124] Oh, yeah, a clarinet.

[125] That's what I'm thinking, not a flute.

[126] That looks more clarinetish.

[127] That looks more clarinetish.

[128] That looks pretty badass.

[129] Obo and Pop That's in Waterworld Not the movie, right?

[130] That's not a good example Waterworld's a terrible movie Waterworld's a terrible movie But they have a damn good theme show at Universal It's very good It's really good But it's amazing It's like nobody watched that fucking movie It was a gigantic flop But still in 2018 They put on a jamming live show With Waterworld So everybody's like, wait, what the fuck is this based on?

[131] This is some sort of dystopian world where, like, everybody is drowning, right?

[132] The water's risen to the top of everything, and these baddies and good people, and then the stunt people that are risking their lives is explosions and fire, flying jet skis.

[133] I went to see it with my family.

[134] It's great.

[135] We got fucking drenched, by the way.

[136] If you're going to go to see this, don't go during a cold day.

[137] It doesn't matter good or bad seats.

[138] man that that shit goes up into the 15th 16th rows look at that that is good production value it's great because it's it's like a play but it's fun to watch it's it's very enjoyable that's all kevin costner had to do was just do this he didn't have to make that gigantic movie well that movie just that movie was a i had some friends that worked on it that were stunt people oh yeah and they were just talking about the amount of money that like whenever you're filming anything involving water like you're fucking Everything is insanely expensive Right Right Everything is The cameras It's all underwater Everything's water It's wet Everything's wet It's like The whole thing was crazy And it sucked Oh It did suck I tried to watch it actually recently Yeah It's fucking terrible movie It's got a cigar It's a cool idea That like the seas Have risen And now you've got a land You'd have to live on this boat Yeah but like he's in like A fight for his life and shit He's got a fucking cigar in his mouth It's one of those movies Yeah, and they have weird, like, comedic guys, and then Dennis Hopper is kind of, looks cool, but it's kind of weird.

[139] Yeah, see, like, these guys are about to shoot him, and he's got a cigar in his mouth.

[140] Like, look, everybody's dirty, but it's wet out.

[141] It's like, get in the water, you fuck.

[142] You dirty, stinky bitch.

[143] There's water everywhere.

[144] That's a great point.

[145] Why are they filthy?

[146] The whole place is a tub.

[147] It's because it's a rip -off of Mad Max.

[148] But Mad Max, the dystopian Mad Max movie, was made in a place where there's no fucking water.

[149] You're in the desert They had a reason to be dirty, you fucking plagiarists Just jump in the water See, he's fighting for his life And he's got a cigar in his mouth Spit the cigar out, you cunt You're gonna get shot Jesus Christ I did like that boat though That was a pretty cool boat That he could control the whole thing It's kind of interesting It's bad But it's not nearly as bad As the postman The postman Was another dystopian movie That was a colossal failure starring Kevin Costner But Kevin Costor, who I'm not shitting on Kevin Costor.

[150] I'm a huge Kevin Costner fan.

[151] I love that guy.

[152] But he was in a couple of stinkers that kind of tanked him for a long time.

[153] The Postman from 1997 is one of the worst movies in the history of bad movies.

[154] So bad that I will get high and watch it occasionally just for the fucking yucks.

[155] I've never even seen this one.

[156] Oh, yeah, in the future.

[157] Oh, that's C .mere Ribisi, whatever.

[158] Yeah, whatever, Giovanni Ribisi.

[159] Yeah.

[160] You get kicked in the head there In this movie Like Who is he?

[161] Kevin Costner has to deliver the letters It's like this big thing In the future There's no post office anymore So he's got to be like the postman But they're trying to kill him Look they're gonna fucking get him He's got to run across the bridge He's like, I've got letters He's got the mail What are you doing?

[162] The fuck are you doing with these letters I gotta bring them It's important we communicate Is this all because of dances with wolves Was so good and they tried to like redo it No, this is not Nothing like dances with wolves Get them back in the woods I think this is based on a novel If I remember correctly See if that movie The Postman is based on a novel I think it's based on On a Science Fiction or Future Fiction novel If I remember correctly I never even heard of that movie Oh it's so bad It's great Yeah it is man of a book Okay yeah So yeah it's It's so great It's about, I think it might be like post -nuclear war or something.

[163] Who's trying to stop them?

[164] People don't like mail.

[165] Guess what year it takes place in.

[166] Let me guess.

[167] 2014.

[168] 13.

[169] Oh, my God.

[170] That's great.

[171] The other day we were looking at Blade Runner.

[172] Blade Runner was 2019.

[173] Oh, really?

[174] The original one was 2019.

[175] Wow.

[176] Next year, flying cars, robot people.

[177] So off.

[178] Not so.

[179] Well, we might make it.

[180] We're going fast The thing is Whatever does happen Will happen so fast We'll wish for something Like Blade Runner Where there's some sort of intermediate world Where the technology And the people coexist Right Because we're just gonna be Yeah we're just gonna be Plugged into it Like the Matrix It's just gonna be slow And then all of a sudden It's gonna be Just if you go back To 1994 Which is essentially When most people started logging on to You've got mail that's 24 years ago okay that's not a long time that's a tiny brief little moment in human history and in 24 years the world's radically changed the way it gets information completely completely right yeah now go 24 years from now it's probably going to be accelerated 10fold from that point like the moment artificial intelligence happens the moment autonomous cars start happening the moment the boring company actually has tunnels going through the bottom of LA and all of it's going to be fucking bananas I had a guy from a Tesla energy at my house yesterday and uh they bought Solar City so it's no longer this solar company they're now Tesla energy Tesla energy is now the car the trucks the batteries the power wall generators and the solar and this this guy comes in like he's from the future well he is dressed like a future guy in this black -fitted thing.

[181] He's kind of like those shoes, but in white, and he just kind of comes in.

[182] He's really sharp and, like, really clear and just goes through the thing.

[183] It's probably not Adderall.

[184] And their thing is that they're going to put solar on the roof, and then you have your power wall.

[185] You're still connected to the grid because you've got to, they have to for political reasons.

[186] But their whole thing, they want to create Tesla neighborhoods where everybody starts feeding off of each other.

[187] They're just completely, autonomous Tesla neighborhoods.

[188] That's a good point where you just said, though, about that it's politically motivated, the reason why they have to stay on the grid.

[189] It's the only reason.

[190] They don't need it.

[191] Yeah.

[192] But in order to get things passed, that they can have that big battery in your house, they wouldn't let that happen unless, because that really would mean that you're completely cut off, and the politicians are like, no, all that's not happening.

[193] Isn't that crazy?

[194] Because that's a more efficient way to do it.

[195] you're getting the power from the sun it's cleaner it's better for everybody and yet they're still like no no we want to keep these jobs we want to keep this system we want to slow down progress we don't we don't want everybody have to radically readjust yeah and the and the costs are for energy you're just going up so quickly that in like three years what you pay in southern california's almost going to double so it's three years really yeah yeah wow because there's a They have to reach benchmarks by 2020.

[196] Did you see what Tesla did in Puerto Rico?

[197] No, what did they do?

[198] I remember him saying he was going to do this, and then there was no news coverage about it, but their whole infrastructure was wiped out during the hurricane, like completely that old archaic electric shot.

[199] He had all these power walls.

[200] They're giant batteries about the size of the flag, and they just store all of this energy, like a year's worth of energy you can store.

[201] And they were about to be shipped to customers here in the U .S. who bought them, who want them in their house, you know, his backup generators, basically.

[202] They were supposed to ship in January.

[203] They're not shipping now until April because he decided these people in Puerto Rico need energy, took all of those power walls, shipped them to Puerto Rico, and has built this new infrastructure for Puerto Rico.

[204] Hospitals are running on Tesla, schools are running on Tesla, neighborhoods are running on it.

[205] And it was this quiet little story.

[206] Like nobody, this is a kick -ass company that went in and literally is saving this island.

[207] Listen, fuck Oprah.

[208] We need Elon Musk to run for president.

[209] I'm tired of people saying Oprah.

[210] The last couple of days have been hell for me. I love Oprah.

[211] Don't get me wrong.

[212] I think she's a wonderful woman.

[213] I think she's a powerful force of good and positive energy.

[214] But she ain't no Elon.

[215] But she also brought us Dr. Oz and The Secret.

[216] We have to remember what this lady is done She has to be held accountable I forgive her but I mean cut the shit The secret is a particularly egregious Offense What you don't you just You don't believe?

[217] You don't believe?

[218] Believe?

[219] Believe?

[220] I want to be rich I am rich I imagine myself flying I can fly I will beat my wings until I take off what's all it was one of the more confused I want to say disturbing but it was confusing when that was taking hold with people when I had friends that were telling me that the secret is real and that they imagined they were going to fulfill these childhood dreams that they had about whatever being a fucking astronaut whatever it would be there's a couple people that I knew they were trying to tell me that the secret it was going to be the thing and that they had a vision board and they had photographs, they put pictures up of the things that they wanted, like them in front of large crowds and shit.

[221] I'm like, oh boy.

[222] They're in front of large crowds.

[223] This is so not how it works.

[224] Yeah.

[225] But there is a kernel of it that works.

[226] Positive thinking, you wanting something, you envisioning it.

[227] But that's a little component in just how you live your life.

[228] It's not just sitting in your place and wishing it.

[229] It's like saying, I am going to be a bodybuilder because I drink water.

[230] Yeah.

[231] It's like, no, you, okay.

[232] Where do I start?

[233] You should drink water, and it will help you if you want to be a bodybuilder.

[234] But I've talked to all these bodybuilders, and the one thing they have in common is they all drank water.

[235] And they knew that if they drank water, they would be giant.

[236] They'd be giant, huge people.

[237] That's all you got to do.

[238] Okay.

[239] Okay, but did they also perform reps to failure?

[240] Did they also take steroids?

[241] Did they also do these exercises, squats, deadlift, curls, you know, did they do all that stuff, too?

[242] Yes, but the water.

[243] Why aren't you a believer?

[244] This is what it's like.

[245] It's because they're saying, like, no, these people, they believe that they can do these things.

[246] Yeah.

[247] They had this vision and they focused on this vision, and it came to fruition.

[248] Yeah.

[249] You know what they also did?

[250] They also busted their fucking ass and got lucky and were in a business or career that they had some talent in and figured out what that career is and figured out how to navigate the very weird waters of social interaction and skill acquisition and success and failure and how to learn from your and luck.

[251] That's the big problem is you're dealing with complete sampling bias.

[252] You're only asking people that are in the mansions.

[253] Tom Papa, how did you do it?

[254] I mean, I see you here.

[255] You have this place.

[256] It's as big as the White House.

[257] You have a giant lawn.

[258] Did you always know this was going to be your reality?

[259] I saw it and I just put it on my vision board.

[260] And obviously it doesn't stick around.

[261] It became a fad because all these people at some point had to take the board down.

[262] Well, and unfortunately, some people died because There was a story I was reading about Oprah, unfortunately, where this woman had terminal cancer.

[263] And she had stage three breast cancer and just decided that through the secret, she was going to imagine herself a healthy person.

[264] And then, you know, she eventually wound up dying from it because she didn't get treatment.

[265] Yeah, I know.

[266] I mean, she stopped traditional, she stopped conventional conventional medical treatment.

[267] But what part of, so how far do you go with positive thinking?

[268] Because I see you as a fellow that has goals and I would think positive thinking plays into your life.

[269] Well, what does that even mean, really?

[270] Like, do I think positive?

[271] I think in a positive way, I try to be positive.

[272] But when you're trying to accomplish something, whether you're trying to, you know get better at something like say if you're playing a game like what if let's say golf like say take up golf and you want to be a really good golfer like you start thinking about golf like how do i get better at golf you have to learn you have to pay attention to uh instructional videos you have to maybe seek out coaching you have to play some games and lose you have to choke under pressure you have to examine the mental game like what is wrong with my mental process when I approach a shot what is wrong with this what is wrong with it and then become obsessed with the the idea of succeeding in that yeah and I think that that can apply to everything so yeah I mean I certainly believe in positive thinking yeah that was like mystic nonsense no that tips over and it discounts all the other stuff that you have to do yeah there's something to the law of attraction it is but it is one component to this gigantic sort of spectrum of factors that have to be taken into consideration when you're trying to succeed at something.

[273] Positive thinking is one of them.

[274] But it's also the understanding of how to eliminate laziness, how to discipline yourself, how to write down goals, how to make incremental steps towards improvement, how to recognize failure is not just the end of all your hard work.

[275] work but in fact the beginning of a new breakthrough because you understand like how to never do this wrong wrong the wrong way again and the consequences of doing things wrong it's like there's a lot of yeah it's a lot of factors in getting better and succeeding at things yeah and it's they boiled it down to the easiest one which is dreaming right right exactly exactly just and that's why it's sold but Oprah sold it I mean she was yeah she was one of the big ones man and she was all in She was fucking 50 years old at the time.

[276] I mean, this is not a young woman who was selling this.

[277] How old is Oprah now?

[278] 75?

[279] 89?

[280] No, she just ran a marathon in four hours.

[281] Did she really?

[282] She's 67?

[283] 63.

[284] So...

[285] She ran a marathon?

[286] Yeah, so let's think of when the secret came out.

[287] I want to say that was like 2006 -ish.

[288] 2004?

[289] 2006, okay.

[290] So 12 years ago, she was...

[291] she was 50 years old.

[292] How the fuck do you not know when you're 50 years old and worth a billion dollars that that's not how it works?

[293] That it's hocus pocus.

[294] Yeah, it's not hocus pocus.

[295] Yeah.

[296] And to sell that to people is crazy.

[297] And that's a book that sold, I think I was reading, it sold somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 million copies.

[298] Wow.

[299] Is that what it says?

[300] Jeez.

[301] That's crazy.

[302] Well, you want an easy way.

[303] You want something that's easy.

[304] Everybody wants, you're in trouble, you're feeling, whatever, And they want something to come, something come and help me. I mean, it's where religion comes from.

[305] It's just, please.

[306] There's that thing inside of us is like, I want to believe.

[307] If I believe, is that enough?

[308] It is a lot like that.

[309] Yeah.

[310] There was one of Trump's spiritual advisors was he's got some spiritual advisor, some woman who was telling people to send her money.

[311] There was send her money for January.

[312] There was some whole article about it.

[313] but it's basically essentially the same thing it's like the idea is that what is she saying Donald Trump's spiritual advisor paula white suggests people send her their January salary or face consequences from god no is that true she's attractive too it's interesting is that true yeah look at her bam I'll give you money what I got to do all right I'll do what I got to do Paula how much do you need I don't know if that's a good picture maybe she just looks good when she's screaming Yeah, she looks good.

[314] Yeah, I would love for some really, I would love for the day where there's some real powerful, spiritual individual who doesn't ask for money.

[315] Well, that's not a real powerful or spiritual individual.

[316] It's a huckster.

[317] I know, that's what I mean.

[318] Like, it would be so great if some, like, so you listen to some people.

[319] Like, I watched, I was doing some gig and there was this black preacher and he was out on stage and he's talking.

[320] And it was like he's really entertaining.

[321] And he had a couple of nice things that he was saying.

[322] And then, please, send me your money.

[323] And it was like, imagine if a guy showed up.

[324] Well, there is.

[325] There's plenty of those people on Instagram.

[326] Who don't ask for Do?

[327] Yeah, they're just trying to get, okay, like Gary Vee, for instance.

[328] Gary V's whole thing is about hustling.

[329] Gary Vee is like the anti -secret.

[330] He's anti -the -secret.

[331] And when you look at what Gary V does, Gary Vee is all about I was sick for several days I was fighting something All the last week Yeah I got I got the flu I got the flu I thought I had it Like I left here I'm so I'm diverting Let me just get back to this Gary V thing Okay But with guys like him I do want to talk colds I was gonna see He sells books So I don't know if he's the best example He sells books Yeah but but he's not asking for money Right right okay I mean he's actually And he's actually a guy who's he's experienced some success as an entrepreneur and I listened to people how do I say this without being mean there's a lot of people that are giving advice online because people react well to it because they're they're giving advice because when they give advice people respond to it and they say this is amazing and they'll like it and they'll they'll give them positive feedback can love but their advice is at least a certain percent of it is just nonsense they're just talking right they're just trying to say things they've heard before or they're trying to somehow or another put together a sentence that sounds like you'll get some likes yeah you know what I mean yeah there's a lot of believe guys you just got to surround yourself with positive people to Christa Lee it makes fun of those people in a hilarious way he's great at it is it but yeah he's About comedians who do it?

[332] Not just comedians who do it, but just people who do it.

[333] But here's the thing.

[334] Sometimes people will say things that are real and that are really inspirational.

[335] Yes.

[336] And that's great too.

[337] It's just knowing horseshit.

[338] Yes.

[339] You got to know horseshit.

[340] A lot of people don't know where the horseshit is.

[341] The secret is horseshit.

[342] See, that's the problem.

[343] Gary Vee is inspirational and motivational.

[344] I guarantee you there's a lot of people out there that have.

[345] done things in their life that they might not have done because of Gary Vee.

[346] Because he's a hustler, because he's really got a lot of energy.

[347] And he's like, just fucking put down your phone.

[348] You know, go out there and get things done.

[349] Sleep an hour or less.

[350] Sleep a fucking hour or less.

[351] And he'll just tell you, like, do this, sell that.

[352] And it gives you practical advice about how to get started and get things done.

[353] It's like the opposite of the secret.

[354] Does he hold seminars?

[355] I'm sure Gary does shit like that.

[356] It sounds like Tony Robbins.

[357] He does sort of, but he's more like.

[358] I mean, Tony Robbins, like younger, more energetic hustler character.

[359] Crystal, what is this say?

[360] Play this.

[361] Give you some volume.

[362] Hard work.

[363] It says you can do anything.

[364] You put your mind to accept most things.

[365] Perseverance.

[366] He's got an eagle on his shoulder.

[367] Never backing down.

[368] Not stopping.

[369] Remaining focused.

[370] It's so funny.

[371] Meanwhile, he does all those things as well.

[372] This is from his last special.

[373] Meanwhile, he works hard.

[374] The funny thing is Chris actually does work hard.

[375] I literally, well, yeah, that's the kind of, yeah.

[376] I mean, Kevin Hart now has moved into that realm.

[377] He has so many people listening to him, and all of a sudden they just, you know, he's, I love him.

[378] He's hilarious.

[379] He's a really good guy.

[380] I've known him for a long time.

[381] But now he's got so many followers, and he has so many people listening.

[382] And he's starting to do that.

[383] He's not just telling jokes.

[384] He's doing crunches and telling you you've got to believe.

[385] And I said to my daughter, my daughter was like, is he a comedian?

[386] She asked me, she was showing the thing.

[387] I said, yeah, he's really funny.

[388] I said, but this is a different thing.

[389] I said, do you think I can make videos and just tell people to live better with David like that?

[390] No, dad.

[391] Well, I'm guilty of that, too.

[392] I've done that too.

[393] But it's just, there's things that you know that you've experienced and that you've done.

[394] and you want people to know about.

[395] But it's not everything I say.

[396] The problem with some people, it's all day you're inspiring people.

[397] That's all you fucking do.

[398] All you do is give out advice.

[399] That's it.

[400] What do you do?

[401] Do you just advice give?

[402] No, there's a thing about, there's a thing about Kevin.

[403] There's a thing about you, that you watch somebody, they're interesting, you like them, and they're getting shit done.

[404] You're like, I'll take advice from this guy.

[405] I'll hear what he has to say.

[406] there is that element it's when it becomes bullshit when it becomes no you have to listen to me because I have all the answers and God talks to me and that kind of stuff well there's songs that there's love songs that you hear that hit you and you go wow why is that resonate so so much why is that so profound and then the songs we're like shut this stupid fucking nonsense down right it's like there's this pop music plastic hollow empty bullshit that also has a lot of those same words in it right like what is the difference and that millions of people like yeah yeah but they're dumb as fuck well that's but it's the same thing you've got all these people that is still buy into the horses shit yeah there is a big herd of people out there that you can if you just start doing if Chris just stopping the comedian start posting videos like that all the time Oh, he would kick ass.

[407] He'd get followers.

[408] Well, if he really wanted to, if DeLea really wanted to be an inspirational guy, he's a handsome fella, he's got a great voice, he's got a lot of energy.

[409] Yeah.

[410] He's, you know, he's dynamic.

[411] He could do that.

[412] He's fit.

[413] Yep.

[414] He could do something like that if he wanted to.

[415] Yeah, Kevin, the same thing.

[416] The thing is, though, Chris can do other things.

[417] A lot of these inspirational fucks, they really can't do things.

[418] They're not doing anything.

[419] Right.

[420] They're not producing any great works.

[421] They're not doing any interesting art. They're not creating any interesting music.

[422] They're not making any funny comedy.

[423] What they're doing is just trying to, like, you know, there's a lot of people out there that don't think they can do it, but you can.

[424] It's in you.

[425] It's a flower that must be watered with the love of the gods.

[426] And like, oh, you cunts.

[427] There's so many of them.

[428] They're overwhelming.

[429] They are.

[430] So their business is not getting money from you necessarily.

[431] their business is in you paying attention to them and then as you pay attention to them and to their social media, their social media page grows and then they can do like speeches at these you have you seen those self -help conferences?

[432] Oh yeah.

[433] Some people go on boats.

[434] They go on a cruise ship.

[435] Everybody on a cruise ship is just giving different kinds of advice.

[436] Yeah, speeches and everyone, get in here, we're going to have a session.

[437] Yeah.

[438] And it does help people.

[439] Yes.

[440] There are people that they do help.

[441] Yes, true.

[442] Some of it works.

[443] I mean, if you're lost and you're just, you don't know what's going on and you've been a loser for a while and you take a couple of his tips.

[444] Yeah.

[445] And you start working and writing shit down and going and have some self -confidence.

[446] It can help your life.

[447] But there's some of these guys that all they're doing is just trying to, like, figure out a way to give people advice when they've never done shit themselves.

[448] Yeah.

[449] And they're not, it's not worth listening to.

[450] Right.

[451] But yet they're there and they're, but is that any worse than an open micer?

[452] Right.

[453] Is it?

[454] I mean, if someone, what I want to do is, I'm sorry, if someone says, what I want to do is I want to become a motivational speaker.

[455] I want to really help people.

[456] I want to really touch people.

[457] But right now I kind of suck at it.

[458] It's like you don't, you don't just start out as Tony Robbins.

[459] No, that's right.

[460] Yeah, you're just starting.

[461] And it's like a trainer.

[462] It's like a boxing trainer's never really want to fight.

[463] It could just be like an old guy who's just.

[464] Some of those guys, most of them, in fact, are former fighters.

[465] Are they?

[466] Yeah.

[467] It's very rare that someone's a boxing trainer.

[468] Pacquiao's guy?

[469] What?

[470] Freddy Roach?

[471] Yeah, was he a good boxer?

[472] Yeah, he was a famous professional.

[473] Oh, yeah?

[474] Yeah, he's got Parkinson's because of it.

[475] Oh, really?

[476] Yeah, he's got trauma -related Parkinson's disease from his time in the ring.

[477] Angelo Dundee?

[478] He fought, um, uh, shit, uh, what the fuck's his name?

[479] The Puerto Rican guy.

[480] Hagler.

[481] stop Hector Camacho Oh Camacho Yeah he fought Camacho He fought a lot of like big name guys Wow He was a big deal Like in terms of like journeymen fighters Freddy Freddy Roach was And his brother Peppa Roach Was also a known guy in the world of boxing Yeah Freddy was legit He was legit guy Oh yeah he was a legit pro So are there trainers that just trained people That they just became trainers Yes They definitely have some experience Usually they have some amateur fights or they, it's very, very rare that someone becomes a respected boxing trainer without having any competition experience.

[482] Yeah.

[483] It just doesn't seem to make any sense.

[484] Some of them, they realize early on that they're better at coaching than they are at competing, whether it's because of physical dynamics or whether it's, you know, they just don't like getting hit.

[485] Yeah.

[486] You know.

[487] They know the limits.

[488] Or some people just are really good at teaching others.

[489] You know, that's a weird thing, too.

[490] In the world of Jiu -Jitsu, it's very common because in Jiu -Jitsu, there's a lot of people that get really good at understanding and, like one of the guys that's going to be here next week, John Donahar is world -famous for it.

[491] Yeah.

[492] He's very famous for being, like, one of the greatest coaches in Jiu -Jitsu of all time.

[493] But as, boy, as far as I know, very little experience in terms of actual competition.

[494] Oh, yeah.

[495] But he's as a coach, unparalleled.

[496] Yeah.

[497] He's like universally regarded as one of the great coaches alive.

[498] That's impressive.

[499] Yeah.

[500] I got my 12 -year -old a heavy bag for Christmas.

[501] She's wrapping her hands.

[502] She's got gloves.

[503] Get someone to teach her how to do it correctly.

[504] Yeah, my buddy Matt's coming over to.

[505] He's a trainer.

[506] He worked under Angelo Dundee for a while and opened his own gym.

[507] My good buddy, Matt Biamonte.

[508] And he's going to come teacher on Thursday.

[509] That's good.

[510] Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[511] It's a good way to get out aggression, too.

[512] That's why I got it for her.

[513] She would just get angry.

[514] She'd be doing schoolwork and be like, this is bullshit.

[515] And she's like, I want to punch something.

[516] She started like punching pillows once in a while.

[517] So now we got her a bag.

[518] How much of you is Italian?

[519] All of it's Italian, except for my one grandfather was German.

[520] Angry people.

[521] The Germans or the Italians?

[522] Both.

[523] But mostly Italian.

[524] The Sicilian is the dominant part.

[525] There's a little temper there.

[526] Angry people.

[527] That's in her genes.

[528] She wants a fucking feed knuckle sandwiches to people.

[529] She really does.

[530] She's like this beautiful 12 year old girl just wants to punch.

[531] My sister's that way too.

[532] I stopped dating Italian girls when I was 21.

[533] Last Italian girl I dated took a swing at me. I was like, Dad, I'm good.

[534] Did you really?

[535] Yeah.

[536] Did you deserve it?

[537] Nope.

[538] But I saw it coming.

[539] I was like, I was like, this is, I can't believe this is happening.

[540] She's actually trying to punch me. She's gonna punch me. She's gonna fucking punch me. Like I saw her shoulder pull back.

[541] like there's no way this is actually happening yeah you know it's just yeah no though I was fighting at the time so I was used to people punching me so I was just pulling her shoulder back I'm like this can't be really happening I don't believe this is happening oh my god it's happening it's funny but I think she just wanted attention I don't think she actually I think she's pretty sure that it wasn't gonna land you know that if she threw a punch at me that I was just gonna because she really wanted to hurt me she fucking hit me when I wasn't looking you know That's what people do.

[542] They don't just look right at you and you, motherfucker.

[543] But then again, when people are in the height of some sort of fucking Sicilian love rage.

[544] Right, exactly.

[545] You don't want to mess with that.

[546] Yeah.

[547] The screaming and the yelling and the throwing things around.

[548] That's also very East Coast.

[549] Oh, yeah.

[550] I've talked about this ad nauseum, but I really believe that that's the echoes of those fucking barbarians that came over on boats from Europe and didn't even know what America looked like.

[551] No. They didn't even have a photo.

[552] to look at and these fucking cave people just pulled up on rafts and started fucking immediately they started baking bread rolling up pasta and banging each other I got bread for both of you you brought oh you two you have two lows you're an animal Tom Papa there you go God amongst men there you go this is for you I feel bad I've never given you the bread I never gave Jamie the bread I'm like he's probably gonna appreciate it for How long will this stay good because Sunday's my cheat day Sunday?

[553] You'll be good Or should I just, like, postpone my cheat day or move it to today?

[554] If you keep it in paper, it'll...

[555] What's the best way, though?

[556] To eat it today is the best way?

[557] To eat it today or tomorrow, actually.

[558] Tomorrow, Thursday.

[559] Tomorrow's better?

[560] Yeah.

[561] Why's it better?

[562] Because it just came out.

[563] Ooh.

[564] So it's not good right away.

[565] It is.

[566] It's if you want that warmth that is, but really, it gets even better a day after.

[567] You know, that's the case with tuna.

[568] I did not know that.

[569] I always thought that if you bought sushi, that you're supposed to get fresh sushi Like they just pulled it out of the water They're going to slice it up for you right now But no, if you go to like a real master sushi maker That sushi sits Oh really?

[570] Yeah For how long?

[571] Fucking weak sometimes What?

[572] I know Just the tuna?

[573] I watched some documentary on some sushi master Oh the hero?

[574] Yeah, no it wasn't that It wasn't that guy But that's a great one too It's really good I was like somebody What we're talking about is Jiro, is that I say his name?

[575] Hero or Jiro?

[576] Is it a hero?

[577] Giro or a Yero?

[578] How do you say it, though?

[579] Do you know?

[580] I thought it was a hero.

[581] It's spelled with a J. Yeah.

[582] Let's say Jero.

[583] Jero dreams of sushi.

[584] I was like, I'm not going to watch a fucking documentary on a guy who makes sushi.

[585] Cut and fish.

[586] Cut the fish.

[587] Smush the rice up.

[588] You're done, dude.

[589] Give me some edamama.

[590] Get this party started.

[591] This ain't like some complicated casserole that you're putting together, you know?

[592] Yeah.

[593] But wow.

[594] Yeah.

[595] You watch it and you go, oh, okay.

[596] I'm ignorant.

[597] This guy's an artist.

[598] Yeah, there's way more to this.

[599] Oh, my God.

[600] his whole soul is in it and it comes out yeah amazing and his tiny ass little restaurant that's about the size of this room yeah no interest in getting bigger no franchising nope just doing this yeah so well yeah that people are going to are going to come there's something to that man oh it's the best it's doing one thing really well yeah my god it's the best there's something there's definitely something to that there's something to especially like the the mindset of every day trying to learn how to make that egg dish perfect.

[601] That one egg dish, that one guy said he worked on for a year.

[602] Crazy.

[603] A fucking year on eggs.

[604] All the, just completely doing it over and over and over.

[605] My bread thing is not, like, it's probably like your bow thing.

[606] The bread thing, it's like, you do just start to, like, focus on this one thing and trying to do it well, and you just start to get, it becomes a part of you.

[607] You're starting to put yourself into it.

[608] It's not just making bread.

[609] it is a practice it is something that for a couple of years i've just kind of gone down that wormhole yeah it's a good thing the wormhole yeah doing that one thing i really i feel like that sometimes with with stand -up it's like we've all these other things that are always going on and pulling us in different directions and stuff and it's like if you could just focus purely on just if that was the only if you weren't taking any phone calls on anything else you weren't podcasting you weren't writing scripts you weren't peering on whatever like would that make a difference like would you be yes and no because i think that standard requires a certain amount of dedication yeah and a certain amount of time on stage but i think it also requires certain amount of living i think you need to do other things right and although podcasting seems like a job and a distraction.

[610] One thing it is unquestionably is, it's an exploration of ideas.

[611] Right.

[612] At an unprecedented level.

[613] Yeah.

[614] Like you're exploring ideas without looking at your phone, without talking, just you and I are talking for three hours.

[615] Right.

[616] When does that ever happen in life?

[617] Yeah.

[618] No, it doesn't.

[619] There's a lot of ideas that I come up with through stand -up or in stand -up that came out of podcasts, for sure.

[620] Yeah.

[621] Yeah.

[622] Yeah, your mind's active.

[623] Yeah.

[624] that that's yeah and writing similar writing's the oh yeah same kind of a thing yeah but i also think doing stuff is important too not just the actual sit down talking part of the podcast but actually going places being active you have to experience things yeah you have to watch documentaries you have to go to a museum you have to go see things you got to go yeah yeah talk to people you got to go on adventures got to go travel yeah it's filling up the well yeah there's you have to think of your brain almost like your cross fit not cross fit uh what's that what's that word where you uh cross training i guess that's what i'm working for when you're doing a bunch of different kinds of multitasking that will no no different types of athletic activities that will enhance your sport like say if you play hockey right you don't just do hockey you also are involved in the box jumps you're doing a lot of uh you know sprinting up hills that's a good way to look at it yeah yeah these all these things enhance this one activity and it's not just all you have to do is just skate all day and you'll become the best skater.

[625] Yeah.

[626] Well, you may be or you could get better at the motions of skating by strengthening your legs with weightlifting or by doing this and you can accelerate your curve by doing yoga or you could you know.

[627] Yeah, yeah.

[628] I think that that there's something to that with comedy, at least for me. Yeah, no, I agree.

[629] I mean, when I'm really actively writing other stuff, whether it's scripts or whatever, my writing for stand -up improves.

[630] Yeah.

[631] It's a muscle.

[632] Yeah.

[633] And reading, by the way.

[634] Reading, writing stuff, it all feeds the act.

[635] When you then shift your focus over here back to the act, you're better because of that stuff.

[636] But I do sometimes think, like, the sushi guy, like, what if the output was only geared towards that?

[637] The input I get doing all that stuff.

[638] Would there be a difference?

[639] Maybe.

[640] I mean, maybe there's something to that.

[641] I don't know.

[642] I don't know anybody who does it that way, though.

[643] Well, maybe a tell.

[644] Regan?

[645] Yeah, but Regan plays golf and drinks and does a lot of other shit.

[646] But he's not creating other art. He's not writing scripts.

[647] He's not.

[648] He also doesn't write, right?

[649] Right.

[650] He writes, like, kind of in his head.

[651] Uh -huh.

[652] And then goes on stage and works on stuff.

[653] Right.

[654] Yeah.

[655] Yeah.

[656] Which I'm torn on.

[657] I mean, I know it's very effective.

[658] Some people do it amazingly well, and that's how they've created incredible works of art. But I never give that advice.

[659] Whenever anyone asks me, I say, you should do both.

[660] You should write down things, and you should write on a computer, you should write, or however you like to write.

[661] But you should also fuck around on stage.

[662] You should do both.

[663] Yeah.

[664] That's what I think.

[665] Yeah, no, I do too.

[666] I can't just show up on stage and hope it's going to happen.

[667] But there's some ideas that I've had that I'll like literally like have in my car and then I'll bounce him around by myself a little bit and not having ever written them down.

[668] I'll go on stage and then it'll just catch fire and it'll become a bit.

[669] And there's some bits that have made it to specials that I've never even written down.

[670] I just knew how to do them because I did them a bunch of times and but most of them not though.

[671] Most of them not.

[672] Or at least I always feel like I'll be.

[673] bring an idea up on stage that it hasn't been written down yet there's something there yeah there's something going on but then i bring it back to the shop and we'll play with it yeah and then then it becomes this back and forth like here's one example this is a bit that i bounced around i was thinking about in the car and then i brought it on to stage in a completed form and it never really changed it's a bit about uh bigfoot right i said here's what you don't find when you go looking for big foot black people like you're more likely to find bigfoot than you are black people looking for big foot you just find hordes of unfuckable white dudes out camping that's what she finds that's who goes looking for big foot you're not you don't find it's not a african -american pastime and that that bit came out in the car i made myself laugh And then it never changed It just became that I don't think I ever wrote it down anywhere And it made it into my 2014 Comedy Central special That's a little gift Yeah I never just But that's rare Those are the rare ones It is rare but man it'd be nice if they all came that way Oh isn't it?

[674] A few Yeah There's been a few They're usually for some reason They're one liners too like that Yeah You know it's so funny It's just complete Yeah Some of them are just They just form themselves complete yeah it's just a those are best too when it makes you laugh yeah like there's things that you just think in your head yeah that's pretty funny that is a funny thing and then you bring it up on stage and it becomes really funny but when it really just truly makes you laugh yeah then you it's such a that's great yeah it is great when there's something that it's just yeah it clicks to the point where you just start giggling yeah get the fuck out of here yeah those are my favorite kind of jokes keep yeah because it's that's what that's why you start making people laugh as a kid in the first place yeah just having fun and sometimes as an adult you've got all this other stuff in your head it's like you do have to kind of remind yourself this is fun this is silly shit yeah this should be giggle enjoyable you know yeah it should be yeah it should be sometimes it can be feel like you know because it comes out of writing the other stuff that does come out of writing writing can be a grind writing is insular it's by yourself you're just in there but alone doing it's not this joyful place most of the time you're not at the you're not writing like but it's not painful see that's not painful but it's but it is a practice that is different than just being with your buddies talking about bigfoot yes you know yeah that's and those are the fun ones right the bigfoot ones are the ones that come out of nowhere with no effort and they kill and you're like i got this for free It's like you've got some crazy skateboard that you're not worried about damaging Because he didn't work on it for a hundred years Yeah No writing's not painful But there is a thing there is a mental part where you If you're if you ever like put it down for a while and don't do it It's like you got to get your head back into the space of doing it That could be a little painful Why is that hard?

[675] I don't know it is but I don't know what like Do you ever read um Stephen Pressfield's book The War of Art no it's excellent it's so good that I bought stacks of it and I used to hand it out to people on the podcast oh really yeah because I think most people like when you say like if someone says like what's a difference between guys who get things done and guys who don't get things done yeah this sounds so stupid and simple but the people that get things done do things they actually do it they sit down and do it and there's something about the people that don't get things done that stops them from doing that like what is it and press Feelead calls it resistance.

[676] And what he says is that you have to overcome resistance because that's what professionals do.

[677] You sit down because you have affirmed that you are a pro.

[678] And you sit down and you go over what you are going to do.

[679] This is what I do.

[680] I'm a professional.

[681] I write.

[682] And I'm going to sit down and I'm going to write and I'm going to summon the muse.

[683] And whether the muse is a real thing or not, he treats it as it as it's a real thing.

[684] Yeah.

[685] And the concept is that you are going to summon this thing that you call upon to endow you with creativity.

[686] By doing the work.

[687] By doing the work.

[688] And that overcoming this resistance is the war of art. And, um...

[689] Yeah.

[690] That's...

[691] And what is the resistance then?

[692] That's the question.

[693] Your negative thoughts, really.

[694] What's...

[695] It's not just negative thoughts.

[696] It's resisting work.

[697] It's not negative.

[698] It's like, it's weird.

[699] You're like, uh, something.

[700] something's stopping you from succeeding.

[701] Something's stopping you from pushing forward and putting down those ideas.

[702] You want the easy.

[703] You want to just sit on the couch.

[704] In my office, I have a couch and I have a desk.

[705] Uh -huh.

[706] And the couch, you know.

[707] Nothing gets done on that couch.

[708] Nothing gets done on the couch.

[709] Really?

[710] It's about sitting there.

[711] There was this great quote from this Israeli writer, who I, every time I say the quote, I say, I always forget what his name was, and I should know it because I use the quote so often.

[712] But he says that writing, the job of being a writer is the same as being a shopkeeper.

[713] And it's your job to go and open the shop every day.

[714] Yes.

[715] And some days, nothing happens.

[716] Someday you're just sitting in the shop like an idiot behind the desk, and nobody's there.

[717] And then some days, the shop is buzzing with action and activity and people in and out and stuff is happening but all of those days when it's really busy and active does not happen unless you open the shop every day yeah that's such an easy way for my brain to kind of think of it that's a brilliant way of putting it just go and sit down at the place where you do the work and start doing the work it may not be great that's not up to you yeah if it's going to be great it's up to you whether or not you sit down and start working have you ever read stephen kings on writing yeah that's great that was a good one those are my two go -to books yeah when I'm feeling like I need something to recharge that would be a good one to go back to and I read that once like a long time ago and uh his just thing of you just like what you're saying you just have to do it you just have to he's right I mean there's there's days that I'll go and I'll write for fucking hours and literally get nothing out of it there's nothing there nothing nothing it's all bullshit then nothing and if you judged yourself by that You'd go like, God, I'm a fucking terrible writer.

[718] Yeah.

[719] You're like, wow, I stink.

[720] And then one day, you'll just sit down and then you have your next 10 minutes.

[721] You're like, oh, boy, there's something here.

[722] I got here.

[723] I got something here.

[724] I got sparks.

[725] Yeah, because you showed up.

[726] Speaking of sparks, did you hear about this fucking bird that they found that starts fires?

[727] No. They found a hawk that picks up burning embers and sticks that are on fire.

[728] and flies them across rivers and creeks to start the fires on the other side so that it could force game animals to run away.

[729] Wow, brilliant.

[730] Look at this.

[731] Birds of prey are starting fires deliberately.

[732] Cites and falcons.

[733] I didn't know kite was a bird.

[734] Kites and falcons are intentionally dropping smoldering twigs to smoke out mice and insects in Australia.

[735] Jesus Christ.

[736] Jeez, Louise.

[737] Researchers have compiled a study of reports of wild birds spreading fires.

[738] They believe the birds carry these burning twigs to unburnt parts of the bush.

[739] The birds drop them in a bid to smoke out prey, blah, blah, blah.

[740] They also smoke three packs a day.

[741] What does it say?

[742] The researchers said birds could be the third force capable of starting bushfires.

[743] That's incredible.

[744] It's clever.

[745] Yeah, they're so irresponsible, these fucks.

[746] They don't give a shit about fires.

[747] They fly away.

[748] They're like, well, fly where the fire is.

[749] I got a mouse.

[750] Oh, I don't know what a fuck.

[751] The whole neighborhood's burnt down.

[752] But he got a mouse snack.

[753] Jeez.

[754] With douchebags.

[755] Did you see that chicken that the researchers created that accidentally, somehow and another through when they put it together, had the face of a dinosaur?

[756] Have you seen this?

[757] No. Yeah.

[758] See if you can find that on my Twitter.

[759] That they made?

[760] They made a chicken.

[761] I don't know what the fuck they did.

[762] They crossbred it?

[763] I briefly read the article.

[764] I'm like, these motherfuckers, and then I ran away.

[765] He got scared.

[766] His chicken has the face of a fucking dinosaur.

[767] It's got teeth.

[768] It's a chicken with a dinosaur's face.

[769] So who got the dinosaur stuff?

[770] Here, pull it up.

[771] Who got the dinosaur DNA and put it in?

[772] That.

[773] Oh, no. Chicken grows face of a dinosaur.

[774] What?

[775] What?

[776] On BBC Earth.

[777] Dude, I've been telling people forever because of the fact that I keep chickens now.

[778] chickens are fucking monsters they're monsters they have good eggs though they do have good eggs but we have this idea of them as being these cute little you know cuddly little fluffy things that lay eggs and just peck around no they're fucking monsters we'll pull up the top of the article Jamie go to the top of it and make it larger so I could read it there so what it says blah blah blah group of dinosaurs the idea I keep going blah so so so to understand how one changed the other.

[779] A team has been tampering with the molecular process that make up a beak and chickens.

[780] By doing so, they've managed to create a chicken embryo with a dinosaur -like snout and a pallet, similar to that of feathered dinosaurs like Velociraptor.

[781] They're making raptors, these fucks.

[782] The results are published in the journal evolution.

[783] The team's aim was to understand how the bird beak evolved because the beak is such a vital part of bird anatomy.

[784] It's been crucial for their success The 10 ,000 or more species occupy a wide range of habitats and many have specialized beaks to help them survive So they mess with the molecular makeup of the beak Yeah and they made a fucking dinosaur -faced chicken How long before those are?

[785] Well that'll be good when they're running around That'll be great when they're at the petting zoo I bet they would have better I bet they would have better eggs Because like my chicken's eggs are significantly better when I let them loose and they go fuck up like my like they'll eat mice and they'll eat worms right bugs and then I'll get these dark yokes like the last couple of days they've been running around my yard all day so really yeah so the eggs that I'll collect tonight or tomorrow will be dark orange yeah but when they're sedentary they're later they're just in the cage um well they have they have a very large coop the coop is right the coop is essentially for the 19 chickens, 17 now, a couple of them died.

[786] 17 chickens I have, it's basically the size of this room.

[787] So they all...

[788] It's good space?

[789] They got plenty of room to wander around and plenty of food.

[790] But they, like, when you ever see vegetarian, raised chicken, like, veg, that's, they don't want that.

[791] Oh, no. That's just, they'll eat that if that's all you give them, but they want to eat things.

[792] What is the, like, bugs and worms and...

[793] That's most of their diet.

[794] But mice, more than anything.

[795] Mice.

[796] If they found a mouse, they'll fight for it.

[797] It's one of the few things that they will fight for.

[798] Really?

[799] Yeah, one will grab the mouse, and they will just chase each other and try to fuck that mouse up.

[800] How are those eggs?

[801] Probably amazing.

[802] It's hard to tell, like, who's laying the eggs.

[803] So what do you do with all these eggs?

[804] There's a lot of eggs.

[805] You can have some?

[806] You know, those are eggs?

[807] Sure, I'll take some eggs.

[808] I got some meat for you, too.

[809] I'm out of elk.

[810] I got some.

[811] Do you?

[812] I really started to crave it.

[813] I got two this year.

[814] Oh, yeah, I know.

[815] So I got a lot of elk.

[816] All right.

[817] Yeah, serve it up.

[818] Good to hear you for the meat.

[819] Me and my dog are so happy when the elk comes out.

[820] Yeah.

[821] I think I showed you a picture.

[822] Did I send you a shot of my...

[823] You cooking?

[824] I was cooking up the ground elk, and the dog is just like, we're doing this, right?

[825] Yeah, grass -fed butter and ground elk with a little garlic salt.

[826] It's really good with the eggs, too.

[827] Yes.

[828] I like to mix it up in eggs.

[829] That's exactly what I do.

[830] Maybe put it on a little bit of that sourdough bread Come down Now you're thinking Take the sourdough, you put a lot of butter on it Just use it as the base and put that on top of it And then just cut it and eat it We need a friend with a vineyard Ooh We need a friend who makes his own wine That would be great Yeah We live in the right state for it Yeah, I know a guy who does it You do?

[831] Good wine I don't know I never had his wine I never had his wine He gave me a bottle What the fuck happened to it Oh yeah?

[832] It's a buddy of mine I know He's in the real estate business I drank a lot of wine The second half of the year Yeah A lot Too much I started reading Confession time No No But I'm not drinking for January You're taking the whole month off Yeah Really Sober January My friend was like I'm just gonna I'm not We went out on the second He's like No I'm not I'm not drinking for the month of January January.

[833] And I was like, that sounds good.

[834] I'm going to do that too, not thinking.

[835] And it's been a week.

[836] And I'm like, this is stupid.

[837] Which makes me think maybe it's not a bad thing.

[838] I've never taken a whole month off since I started drinking as a kid.

[839] You got to do sober October.

[840] That's the move.

[841] Sober October.

[842] Yeah, we all do it.

[843] Yeah.

[844] I don't know if everybody's going to do it this year.

[845] I doubt we're going to get Bert to do it again.

[846] Bert was in a goddamn frothy panic by the time November rolled around.

[847] Holy shit, look in his face.

[848] You know where he was getting his jollies?

[849] He was going on Instagram feeds of people that were clearly losing their fucking mind.

[850] Oh, just watching them suffer?

[851] No, he would send them to me, like comedians that are out of their fucking minds.

[852] He'd send them like, just check out her Instagram story.

[853] I'm like, you son of a bitch.

[854] And I go there, I'm like, oh, my God, what have you done?

[855] Oh, not from not drinking, just crazy.

[856] Just being crazy.

[857] Just being crazy.

[858] There are some people out there And I don't want to out them So I'll tell you off the air There are some people You find out about their Instagram story And you go oh there's a hidden little gem here online Instagram is such a great tell for people I was gonna work with this guy And I was like And I asked my other friend I said do you know him like is he This is just a he's a director I was like do you know this guy And she's like Well I don't want to say anything I'm like what Just look at his Instagram I was like oh what an What an old man thing that I didn't think to do that So just go on the Instagram You're like oh There were a train wreck A train wreck just seeing him posting all their Inspirational stuff No this was just pure bad shit Teaching partying you know How to be the fully actualized person I don't mean to shit on Kevin by the way I mean to shit on Kevin He's one of those guys that get shit done Like he's Kevin Hart when I was saying like Kevin Hart's thing.

[859] No, he's, he legitimately gets things done and also legitimately gets a thrill at a helping people get motivated.

[860] Exactly.

[861] He does runs where he brings hundreds of people out running with him.

[862] It's insane.

[863] He'd do like a 5K and everybody, y 'all, show up.

[864] Show up, we're running.

[865] I know.

[866] And everybody will run with Kevin Hart.

[867] Yeah.

[868] He's legit.

[869] Hey, how far do you run when you run with your dog?

[870] No more than, well, Marshall doesn't like to, he gets to the point.

[871] at the end of the run he's only a year old like two miles is about yeah because we're you know pushing a pretty good pace in the hills in the hills very very steep hills yeah at two and i don't bring any water for him oh no no so at two miles that's all i want to push him because at the end his fucking tongue is bright red and he's like two miles up hills is that's a lot it's great he's great for the rest of the day yeah the rest of the day he's like hey man he's just chill he's such a good dog man yeah i love golden retrievers they're so good yeah they are great dogs they're so food oriented though sometimes to the point of being annoying so is my lab yeah labs are too same thing just a lot of dogs are like that yeah if they're active they're hungry yeah metabolism is quick and they want to eat and they just yeah the good news is they're really easy to train with food because they love food so much just give them like little treats and yeah he's this dog that i that i Marshall, he's the best I've ever had as far as, like, listening to sit and stay and lie down and stuff like that.

[872] And when I go running with him, I don't worry about him.

[873] He stays close to me. That's cool.

[874] He runs, and then I'll, like, he's ahead of me, and I go, hey, man, slow down.

[875] And he'll just stop.

[876] Wait for me, and then I'll come up to him, and then it'll start running again.

[877] It's great.

[878] I've never taken her off leash like that, and I feel like it'd be a blast.

[879] The only thing I worry about is rattlesnakes.

[880] Yeah.

[881] That's an issue.

[882] Yeah.

[883] Because I don't think he knows exactly what a rattlesnake is.

[884] I bet the instinct would kick in.

[885] If you didn't get surprised by it.

[886] The instincts I'm worried about are the wrong ones, which are to get close.

[887] Oh, you think?

[888] And get bit.

[889] Don't you think they'd be like all in ancient DNA of hearing that rattle?

[890] I've had three dogs that were bit by rattlesnakes.

[891] No. Yeah.

[892] Oh, really?

[893] Yeah.

[894] Because they went after it?

[895] Yeah.

[896] One of them got bit.

[897] I brought him to the doctor, and I'm like, I think he got bit by rattlesnake.

[898] And the veterinarian's like, well, you're going to play music?

[899] I'm going to play the sad song.

[900] And the veterinarian, they're fine.

[901] He lived.

[902] But the veterinarian was like, everything seems okay.

[903] I'm like, I don't know, man. I'm pretty sure the snake got him.

[904] And he goes, well, you know, if he's acting funny later, let me know.

[905] So I bring him home.

[906] Hour later's face swells up like a fucking basketball.

[907] I'm like, shit.

[908] It just took a while for it to kick in.

[909] And I thought I was doing the right thing by getting him to the vet in time.

[910] I'm like, I'm going to just get him there right away.

[911] Just throw them in the car, you know.

[912] Just beat the clock.

[913] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[914] And it took a while for the vet him to, like, sink into his face.

[915] How long?

[916] It took over an hour because I was at the veterinarians.

[917] Yeah, yeah, because I was at the veterinarian's office within, he got bit.

[918] I had him there within 35, 40 minutes.

[919] And then the vet's looking at him.

[920] He's like, I don't see any marks.

[921] I don't see any blood.

[922] There's no, like, clear.

[923] he might have got missed or the thing might not have got any venom in him maybe he got lucky so I take him home his face is like that's what happens their face swells up oh it's brutal and then it costs thousands of dollars it's very expensive anti -venom they use anti -venom it's really expensive just to inject that it's thousands of dollars yeah which is really bad for people that are poor you know if you don't have any money to pay for that and your dog gets bit it's a fucking tremendous stress oh man yeah would they survive I mean if it's that dose without the end of yeah some dogs survive some dogs survive some dogs don't yeah but some dogs die from it for sure oh that's it's really bad for them I don't have a place to run my dog like that we've got like all streets around this so it's like yeah you gotta drive them somewhere man yeah take them to uh runyon canyon or something can you take them off leash in those places it's not the problem is you never know what kind of dog are going to run into or coyotes or angry moms yeah that's true too yeah there's a lot of people like that yeah yeah if you can go places that are less populated those are the best for off leash type activities she would be so happy she's a lab too there's sweet dogs and wants to run and they're not they're not like the kind of dogs it's not like you're taking a press a canario 120 pound demon dog no let nothing loose no she's sweet yeah demon dog what was the name of that dog Pressa Canario?

[924] You never seen my way this is?

[925] They're tanks.

[926] They're these huge fucking muscular looking.

[927] There's a guy who's breeding some that I know is making these brindle ones.

[928] They look so crazy.

[929] They're like the ultimate guard dog.

[930] With a dinosaur beak?

[931] The size of that thing.

[932] Oh, it's like a mastiff.

[933] Yeah.

[934] Super aggressive.

[935] Oh, really?

[936] Yeah.

[937] Oh, great.

[938] Look on that black one above it.

[939] Look at that.

[940] Great.

[941] The fuck out of here, man. shoulders.

[942] Oh, my God.

[943] He's going to fuck you with that big dick, too.

[944] Oh, my God.

[945] Giant horse dick he's got between his doggy legs.

[946] I don't know.

[947] Look at the face on that thing.

[948] Oh, my God.

[949] Are these around?

[950] Yeah, man, they're real.

[951] They're not dinosaurs.

[952] They have these?

[953] Like, people have these at home?

[954] Oh, yeah.

[955] Yeah, I know some people who have them.

[956] My friend Mark has two of them.

[957] Yeah.

[958] That is scary.

[959] It's an enormous talk.

[960] They're apparently very good, loyal watchdogs.

[961] Oh, they are?

[962] They're nice to the family.

[963] Well, it's all in who breeds them.

[964] Look at the one where the dog's on a leash pulling right there.

[965] Like a fucking build on that thing.

[966] Oh, it's low.

[967] What a nightmare if that was chasing after you.

[968] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

[969] What do you do when a dog comes at you and wants to bite you?

[970] Just punch it?

[971] Give him your arm.

[972] If you know a dog's going to attack you, if you know for sure.

[973] If you have the time, you feed them your arm and stab the shit out of them while he's grabbing your arm you're fucking right in the neck oh yeah what if you don't have a weapon you're fucked why don't you carry a weapon you should have a weapon always should always have a weapon yes you never know when you're gonna be attacked by a dog do you know see I told you you carry a lot of shit you're attacked by a goddamn dog that's a dog knife never know nice coyotes mountain lines I was what do when you fly you got put it in your bag your teeth like a pirate Damn check TSA pre No I don't bring it with me When I travel I just opening boxes today I'm only kidding Oh you don't carry that all the time I'm an asshole I had to open boxes A lot of people do Don't you think there's a lot of people out there Next to you at the 7 -Eleven that have They're carrying shit Oh yeah I know a guy Who used to carry a gun on his ankle He might still do it I don't want to say his name But he was a guy who used to fight for the U .S. see he carried a gun and he's huge he's a giant man right he carried a gun on his ankle he carried one in the small of his back he carried a knife in his front pocket on both sides he had two knives he carried all the time and he carried his shoulder holster just to go to the store everywhere he went everywhere he went he was locked and loaded like he was the wrong guy to fuck with in every single possible way 260 pounds enormous trained black belt UFC champion loaded to the hilt carrying knives and guns all over his persona The cool part about that Which I always like in the movies Is when you're done with your day And you're just unloading all that stuff on your dresser You know what?

[974] Clank, clank Just taking the strap off That thing off That always seems I love that part of being a man Of just having all the stuff you got to unload to then go to like beyond keys and wallet to be like gun, machete, other guns.

[975] Brass knuckles?

[976] Yeah, right, exactly.

[977] Does anybody carry brass knuckles anymore?

[978] Are those out?

[979] They mustn't, maybe.

[980] Yeah, why not?

[981] Yeah, it's not a thing anymore.

[982] Yeah.

[983] It's not like.

[984] I wonder if those are legal.

[985] Like, that was something you'd hear about when we were kids.

[986] Yeah.

[987] Oh, they got brass knuckles.

[988] I guess because Bugs Bunny had them.

[989] That's the only place we were hearing stuff was as children.

[990] You don't hear about brass knuckles at all, Yeah.

[991] Now words are what hurt.

[992] Get you on the air.

[993] Get you some brass knuckles, see?

[994] People hurt with words.

[995] Words are violence.

[996] Give me some brass knuckles, see.

[997] Yeah, the old day, see.

[998] Yeah, the old day, see.

[999] Why'd they talk like that back then, see?

[1000] Because that's the way he spoke back then, see.

[1001] You had that coffee just sitting there for the longest time.

[1002] It's still hot.

[1003] You didn't pour it.

[1004] No, I had a bunch.

[1005] You had a little bit of it?

[1006] Yeah, I love coffee.

[1007] You do?

[1008] Mm -hmm.

[1009] Addicted.

[1010] Brennan Schaub told me that he drinks 12 cups of coffee a day and that he's been throwing up a lot lately And it's because of the coffee because of all the acid in his stomach, yeah But does coffee give you acid?

[1011] Is that what it does?

[1012] Yeah, it's acidic.

[1013] Yeah, put in the beans, I guess.

[1014] And that fucks with your stomach?

[1015] Yeah, if you're drinking how many, 12?

[1016] Apparently, yeah, it was drinking 12 cups of coffee a day.

[1017] Yeah, that's an addiction.

[1018] You can't play some music for him?

[1019] For his stomach?

[1020] That's a big -time addiction.

[1021] Twelve cups a day can make you throw up.

[1022] Coffee is highly acidic, and it can stimulate the hypersection secretion of gastric acids.

[1023] Decaffeinated coffee has been shown to increase acidity to a greater degree than either regular coffee or caffeine alone.

[1024] So decaffeinated coffee is more acidic than anything.

[1025] Both caffeine and coffee stimulate gastric acid secretion and decaffeinated coffee raises serum gastrin levels.

[1026] Ew.

[1027] That's disgusting.

[1028] Back to your wine guy.

[1029] Yeah.

[1030] Let's, yeah, let's find a guy.

[1031] Let's hook up with a guy.

[1032] Well, I do know one guy, Maynard.

[1033] Maynard.

[1034] Maynard Keenan from Toole.

[1035] He's a friend of mine.

[1036] He's actually in town.

[1037] He has a vineyard.

[1038] He has like a real vineyard in Arizona.

[1039] That's right.

[1040] It's not in California.

[1041] He makes great wine.

[1042] yeah oh my god yeah well he's an artist he's a weird motherfucker super super smart guy yeah and makes wine the same way he makes music like he they made a tool album and one of the songs was was they they wrote a song to the fibonacci sequence uh -huh what did you just pull up vineyard cruducius yeah um he wrote a song to the fibinacci sequence what's the fibinacci sequence The Fibonacci sequence is a mathematical sequence.

[1043] The way it works is like, it goes like zero.

[1044] The next number is one.

[1045] And the next number is two, and then two plus one, which is three.

[1046] And then it keeps going like in this mathematical progression.

[1047] And that's how they had the chord progression.

[1048] They had the chord progression link up to the Fibonacci sequence.

[1049] Just for fun?

[1050] Because he's a fucking maniac.

[1051] But that same sort of.

[1052] of attention to detail and obsessing of the intricacies of things he's applied that to his wine his wine is it really good it's really good what's the label uh caduceus vineyards caduceus yeah yeah he has an austeria too he has a small restaurant really yeah geez he's crazy this sounds good yeah i think he gave me the flu that fuck oh really guy oh that's where the flu came from he told me he just got over the flu i'm like oh oh you shithead thanks because i was hanging out with him in Vegas and I think that's right when I started to catch it.

[1053] And then I had like a little bit of a cough, and then it got a little worse.

[1054] And then I really did myself in in the sauna.

[1055] I cranked the sauna up to 210 degrees.

[1056] Oh, really?

[1057] Which is apparently too hot for people.

[1058] How hot you're supposed to go?

[1059] 176 to like 190s, apparently, what people like.

[1060] And you went 220?

[1061] I was at 210 for about an hour.

[1062] Oh, geez.

[1063] Not an hour, but.

[1064] How long do you stay?

[1065] in there?

[1066] 2 .10 for, I was in 210 for at least 20 minutes.

[1067] 15?

[1068] 15 minutes?

[1069] You know what?

[1070] I don't know how long I did it at 210.

[1071] How long is supposed to stay in?

[1072] A bunch of times.

[1073] To get the right benefits, you're supposed to 20 minutes at 176 degrees, at least twice a week is like what they recommend.

[1074] But if you can get to four times a week, you're a lot better off.

[1075] What's the main thing it does for you?

[1076] It increases a bunch of different things.

[1077] things.

[1078] First of all, it does something called, it makes your body produce something called heat shock proteins, which radically reduce inflammation.

[1079] Similar in a lot of ways to cold shock proteins that you would get from cryogenic chamber treatments.

[1080] Can I ask a question, which may be a dumb question, but why is inflammation, why is anti -inflammatory, why is it bad to be inflamed?

[1081] I mean, I know it sounds kind of, that's the root of almost all diseases it is yeah big big big big cause of a lot well that was one of the things about this study i think it was a Norwegian study on the sauna they showed a decrease in mortality a 40 % decrease in mortality amongst all causes from people that use the sauna i think three times or four times a week what yeah meaning um 40 % decrease in stroke heart attack all these different various factors and they think that that's attributed to the heat shock proteins dr ronda patrick yeah she's the one who got me into it she's a frequent guest on the podcast and super genius and uh she came to a show at mine in san francisco did she yeah oh that's cool yeah she's the coolest she's very cool she we were just talking about she was on the Kardashians oh really yeah james tell me what she doing on the Kardashians that doesn't make sense teaching him how not to be inflamed oh that's great like your lips are inflamed he should sure you're not eating anything weird?

[1082] You're a breast are inflamed.

[1083] What's going on with your butt?

[1084] Your butt is inflamed.

[1085] Are you guys not getting in the sauna?

[1086] If Kim Kardashian got in the sauna, she'd probably start sweating.

[1087] Like, you know, like when you bathe something, like if you have like a slow cook pork roast or something like that, you see those beads of juice come popping on the top of it.

[1088] Just putting a tray under her to catch the drippings.

[1089] Yeah, because you think about all that.

[1090] Squeezings?

[1091] All that fat that they pull out of the sides and then suck into the butt.

[1092] Right?

[1093] And they pump that stuff in the butt to make the butt extra big.

[1094] And then you put that butt in the oven and that'll just get juicy.

[1095] That's good eating.

[1096] It's good eatings there.

[1097] I'll tell you what, that is some good eatings right there.

[1098] Yeah, boil it down.

[1099] So the heat proteins.

[1100] Heat shock proteins, yeah.

[1101] Sitochines.

[1102] Help you with inflammation.

[1103] Yes, yes.

[1104] It helps your body fight off inflammation.

[1105] inflammation and so it does it in a natural way instead of like non -steroidal anti -inflammatories like ibuprofen things on those lines which are really bad for your gut health uh -huh really bad for your like they say that ibuprofen should be taken rare rarely if ever really yeah it's apparently terrible for your body can cause strokes and it also is really bad for your your gut flora i had a buddy my my friend cameron haines is a ultra marathon runner he runs these crazy 200 plus miles and his nutty fucking things and he was taking ibuprofen on a daily basis and um got off of it got off of it after he listened to the ronda patrick podcast yeah and all of his joint pain went away and his joint pain was literally being caused he thought it was being caused by all his running it was being caused by his taking of the non -steroidal anti -inflammatories which increased his body's inflammation levels.

[1106] What?

[1107] Yes, which is crazy because it damages your gut bacteria because it's fucking poison.

[1108] He's taking 800 milligrams of this shit every day.

[1109] Your body freaks out.

[1110] I was telling him, like, dude, you're significantly increasing your risk of stroke.

[1111] And I sent him all these studies and findings on ibuprofen.

[1112] So he stops, he gets off of it.

[1113] All of his joint pain goes away.

[1114] No. Literally it was causing joint pain.

[1115] So how is your gut connection?

[1116] to inflammation.

[1117] Inflammation.

[1118] Which is one of the reasons why people tell you not to eat bread.

[1119] It's why people tell you not to eat sugar.

[1120] Fine carbohydrates cause inflammation.

[1121] One of the ways that cause it is through the gut leakage.

[1122] And when we say inflamed, what is inflamed?

[1123] That's a good point.

[1124] Let's pull that up in a way that I can describe it.

[1125] I have an article right now that's about what is inflammation.

[1126] What is inflammation?

[1127] I'm sorry if you're going over stuff, you always go over.

[1128] Everything you need to know about inflammation.

[1129] Inflammation is a defense mechanism in the body.

[1130] The immune system recognizes damaged cells.

[1131] Oh, these fucking pop -ups.

[1132] Get out of there.

[1133] You cunts with a pop -up ads.

[1134] Come on.

[1135] The immune system recognizes damaged cells, irritants, and pathogens, and it begins the healing process.

[1136] When something harmful or irritating effects, a part of your body is a biological response to try to remove it.

[1137] The signs and symptoms of inflammation can be uncomfortable, but are to show that the body is trying to heal itself.

[1138] So if you're in a constant state of inflammation, because you're constantly taking in foods that your body is reacting to in a very adverse way.

[1139] That is what causes a lot of diseases in people.

[1140] And it also causes your body to, you're feeding certain aspects of gut bacteria, you know, that are just not healthy.

[1141] So you're putting, so the body is actually the same way they would fight a disease as fighting these foods that come in, or these medicines or whatever, Yes, exactly.

[1142] These foreign things.

[1143] A big thing with foods.

[1144] A big thing with alcohol.

[1145] You see people with puffy faces.

[1146] Mm -hmm.

[1147] Yeah.

[1148] They get like permanently puffed up.

[1149] They're just all fucking inflamed.

[1150] Everything's inflamed.

[1151] Right.

[1152] Their gut sticks out.

[1153] Their guts inflamed.

[1154] And is it your cells?

[1155] Is it your arteries?

[1156] Everything is just...

[1157] Pull up the rest of it?

[1158] Everything's just kind of...

[1159] Go back to that art. Fuffed up with fluid?

[1160] Yeah.

[1161] Okay.

[1162] Chronic inflammation can eventually cause several diseases and conditions, including some cancers and rheumatoid arthritis.

[1163] Infections, wounds, and any kind of tissue would not be able to heal itself without an inflammatory response.

[1164] So inflammation is a part of the body's immune system.

[1165] So what you're doing is you're in a constant state of damage when you're eating shitty food all the time.

[1166] So if you're constantly eating sugar and drinking sodas and fucking corn syrup and all that horse shit.

[1167] Yeah.

[1168] You're putting these weird chemicals.

[1169] in your body and your body's freaking out so you're this is they're not just making a distinction between inflammation that comes from like a bruising or injury where your body's trying to heal itself versus something that's happening internally right from your consumption of shitty foods right but there's so many inflammatory causing foods that people eat on a daily basis and we just think of it as food yeah pizza is delicious right yeah fucking full of inflammation causing bullshit.

[1170] It's, uh...

[1171] Well, um, first of all, the bread.

[1172] The bread.

[1173] Which is unfortunately what you make.

[1174] But I think that your bread is sour dough bread, which is different because sour dough bread apparently has less complex glutons in it because, uh, right, right?

[1175] Yeah, I have friends.

[1176] I have friends that, uh, that, uh, have gluten issues that can eat my bread.

[1177] Not to excess, but it doesn't bother them the way they process bread.

[1178] Yeah.

[1179] There's something about sour dough bread that it's different.

[1180] No commercial yeast.

[1181] Yeah.

[1182] The gluten structure is a little weaker.

[1183] Yeah.

[1184] Well, there's a great documentary that I've watched recently called What's With Wheat.

[1185] And it was all about how they changed wheat to make higher yield wheat, which you could grow more wheat in a shorter area and have a higher yield.

[1186] And that the glutons in that wheat are much.

[1187] much more, they're much more dense and complex than the natural wheat that we used to eat 150 plus years ago.

[1188] Right.

[1189] This bread that you're going to eat comes from this great mill in Utah that is pure, organic, small crops, so you won't have a problem with this.

[1190] So it's like heirloom wheat, is that what they call it?

[1191] I didn't even know that was a thing until Maynard also told me about that.

[1192] Oh, yeah.

[1193] They use heirloom wheat in his pasta.

[1194] that he makes in his austerea.

[1195] Oh, interesting.

[1196] It's easier for people to digest.

[1197] Yeah.

[1198] It's a little more expensive and a little harder to get, but it makes a difference and the flavor's so much better.

[1199] Yeah, I've been buying pasta when I rarely eat pasta, but if I do eat it, I buy it from Italy, and they have heirloom pasta in Italy, and just you don't feel as fucking gross after you eat it.

[1200] Yeah, it's not like...

[1201] That brick.

[1202] Yeah, that punch in the gut.

[1203] That just fucking, like you ate a bag of rock.

[1204] So what is the...

[1205] So the song?

[1206] If you're eating all this stuff, probably help.

[1207] And you're putting in there and you're the...

[1208] It would help, but you're also dealing with your gut biome.

[1209] Right.

[1210] You're forcing your body to...

[1211] You're eating foods that are going to encourage the growth of certain types of gut bacteria.

[1212] Right.

[1213] That live off of sugars and live off of...

[1214] A friend of mine got the gastro surgery.

[1215] Yo.

[1216] And she was diabetic.

[1217] and she had the gastro thing done and her diabetes leveled out and she said it was the doctor says because of the bacteria because of something that they did in taking something out does this make sense at all yeah she probably had a terrible diet yeah probably which is also probably one of the reasons why she was so big right you know they there's different kinds of bacteria there's different times of diabetes right there's diabetes that is caused entirely by diet and there's diabetes that is genetic.

[1218] And the type of diabetes that is caused by diet is reversible.

[1219] It happens with a lot of people that wind up going on, you know, calorie -restricted diets and reduce the amount of sugar they take in.

[1220] And Dean Del Rey, Dean Del Rey was pre -diabetic.

[1221] Yeah, he went to a doctor and the doctor, he had a real candy problem.

[1222] He's eating candy constantly.

[1223] Oh, really?

[1224] Yeah.

[1225] He was hooked on sugar.

[1226] Yeah, and you talk to him now.

[1227] He's like, sugar's the fucking devil, man. Yeah, he dropped a devil.

[1228] He dropped a lot of weight.

[1229] He dropped a lot of weight and got really fit.

[1230] Yeah, he looks great.

[1231] He's at a gym all the time now.

[1232] Oh, really?

[1233] Yeah, he looks very healthy.

[1234] Like, Dean's never looked better.

[1235] No, man, I don't eat that.

[1236] Yeah, he's like, sugar's the fucking devil, man. He's not wrong.

[1237] No, he's not wrong at all.

[1238] Yeah.

[1239] I mean, sugar's great every now and then.

[1240] Yeah, a lot of things.

[1241] A little treat, you know, have a little tiramisu after a nice meal.

[1242] Yeah, that's what he used to look like.

[1243] wow yeah look he looks inflamed that face looks inflamed that thing right there it says people ask me how do I do it how do you not get tempted to eat sugar I keep photos like this around the house to constantly remind me never again fat dean fuck sugar hashtag eat healthy see that's inspiration right there yeah yeah well yeah you got a picture of yourself when you're almost dying of a disease it's very very common for people to eat too much sugar for long periods of time and then go to a doctor and the doctor tells me you have diabetes.

[1244] Right.

[1245] It's very common and especially in America.

[1246] Totally brought on just by your diet.

[1247] Yeah, yeah.

[1248] Your body's just freaking out.

[1249] You're constantly making it processed sugar.

[1250] Yeah.

[1251] Your insulin's jacked up and spiked all the time and everything's fucking haywire in your system.

[1252] And your body's like, hey, shit head.

[1253] Stop with the skittles.

[1254] You're not supposed to eat like this, you dumb fuck.

[1255] You lard ass.

[1256] What about intermittent fasting?

[1257] I do that.

[1258] You do?

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] I kind of like this idea.

[1261] I love it.

[1262] Yeah, I eat for 10 hours a day.

[1263] And some people say you should do eight hours.

[1264] Oh, every day.

[1265] Yeah, every day.

[1266] Well, I'd take a couple days off a week.

[1267] Well, the Jimmy Kimmel, the Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy wouldn't eat on, he would eat like 500 calories on Monday and Thursday.

[1268] And just like real fasting, basically, on those days.

[1269] And then eat whatever he wanted on the other days.

[1270] And that's how he lost.

[1271] all of his weight.

[1272] So for two days a week, he eats like a severely restricted amount of calories.

[1273] Yeah.

[1274] And the rest of the week, he could eat whatever he wants?

[1275] Yeah.

[1276] That seems crazy.

[1277] Doesn't that seem crazy?

[1278] He said it's tricking your body into tricking your body.

[1279] And so the metabolism was like kicking in and I don't know what the specifics were.

[1280] But that's what he did.

[1281] When he dropped all that weight, he wasn't exercising and that's what he did.

[1282] Mondays and Thursdays.

[1283] Why wasn't he exercising?

[1284] He hates it.

[1285] Now he exercises and is fit that way And it doesn't restrict his calories as much Because he's physically doing something But I like the idea of not eating a day That whole when people say I hate exercise It's like people saying I hate brushing my teeth Like shut the fuck up Just what are you a baby I hate exercise I don't want to brush my teeth I hate it It's annoying That's back to the couch I gotta breathe heavy You just fucking do it There's a lot of shit you don't like to do It's like I don't want to write How the fuck do you expect the jokes to come You big baby I don't like writing I like it just to come into my head Just make your way into my head I want muscles from a pill You sound like what's his name Who just died, the comedian A crazy person Oh, John Finette?

[1286] Oh, Kevin Meaney The great Kevin Meaney How did he die from?

[1287] I think his heart He was just on his laptop In his living room You just had a heart time?

[1288] Yeah, I think so Fuck God, he was funny But he would wind up Like you were just doing Like a crazy person I don't want to work out.

[1289] That's not right.

[1290] We're big pants people.

[1291] Dude, I saw Kevin Meen in 1980.

[1292] He's so funny.

[1293] Me and my friend Diane DeRosa.

[1294] Nice.

[1295] She was a friend of mine from high school.

[1296] Pallian girl.

[1297] Yeah, we went to see him at Catch a Rising Star in Cambridge.

[1298] And this is like, I think maybe I had done an open mic night, or maybe I hadn't even gone on stage yet.

[1299] But I went to see him, and I paid to see him.

[1300] It's great.

[1301] And he crushed so hard that I could, I was, it was unimaginable to me. I couldn't imagine someone could be that funny.

[1302] So funny.

[1303] Because he was in his prime then, and it was a, you know, maybe 180, 200 seat room, you know.

[1304] Just killing.

[1305] You know, the ceiling.

[1306] Just pow.

[1307] And he's on fire.

[1308] No escape.

[1309] Oh, he was on fire.

[1310] Smashing.

[1311] That's not right.

[1312] That's not right.

[1313] And then he would, I opened for him, like at Caroline's when I was first starting.

[1314] And just watching him just like destroy.

[1315] And then he breaks into that coffee song.

[1316] Remember he would do the coffee song?

[1317] This like Sinatra song, this all the coffee in Brazil or something like that.

[1318] He just jumped.

[1319] He's just killing talking about it.

[1320] And then all of a sudden he's doing this musical number.

[1321] Like this is Sinatra's all the coffee in all the coffee in Brazil, I think.

[1322] something like that he was just so comfortable he could do whatever he wanted to he hit that spot there's a spot that some comedians can hit the fucking bowtie I don't care this is his first tonight show I think you'd have to be there to see it to really appreciate and also you'd have to be there in 1988 you know to realize like how crazy what he was doing was it was so weird but he got stuck he got stuck he went from being a fucking murderer on top of the world uncle buck killing in every place but he got stuck with his act where he had like the same act for the longest time and that act like didn't work anymore well this is back to what I was talking about taking your eye off the ball and like doing other things he started doing Uncle Buck he started doing some movies and then you know at that time those people weren't so conscious that you to keep your act alive you know what i mean and you know you take five years off the road and then try and come back it's it's not easily done no did he take that much time off the road i don't know i'm just ballparking but i mean you know his interests were other places at that time he was doing tv shows and doing all that other stuff it's hard you don't progress because you're not just in it doing that stand -up all the time well everyone was told back then in particular that you had to do something else that stand -up was a vehicle that got you to the big game yeah and the big game was a television show right or a movie like when i got news radio one of the producers of news radio said to me like why are you still doing stand -up yeah you're an actor now right yeah like you're on tv i was like what yeah and i remember thinking like oh my god i got to get to a comedy club right now before this makes any sense i know the fuck you talk no i mean the way we think is you do that stuff so more people come to see shows you can keep doing your shows that's why you do that stuff it's not the other way around but they that generation saw it as the stand -up was not something that you you but also to be fair they didn't have theater shows and other avenues weren't kind of carved out where they would could see stand -up as being a special thing they were just in these hard -ass clubs doing six shows a weekend that's true they were like get me out of here when did theater shows start kicking in for people for the main for like just regular good comics not you know fairly recently really yeah who was who else was doing theaters before like you know in those days well there was always if kevin meanie was peaking now he would be running off and starting to do theater shows but back then it was just comedy clubs and then television yeah but some people did big places because I saw people in big places.

[1323] Like what kind of places?

[1324] Like, there was theaters.

[1325] There was definitely rock clubs.

[1326] There was some of it.

[1327] But there wasn't like an active touring.

[1328] When was the first time?

[1329] Man, I'm trying to remember the first time I did a theater.

[1330] Not that long ago.

[1331] I bet.

[1332] Shit.

[1333] It wasn't like part of the touring business.

[1334] I mean, you had guys that were big that were doing it, but it wasn't like, you know, you couldn't have a guy that.

[1335] instead of headlining at a club could just go off and do the little theater it was different they were like comedy was you know it was also a slump like all the clubs were closing down so you think like 10 years 20 like how many 15 years ago that started happening yeah yeah that sounds about right huh it sounds about right there was a slump right there was a comedy slump yeah when i started in 93 the comedy had had fallen on its ass oh you had you started right when it hit Right at the end of it.

[1336] Because I started at the tail end of the boom.

[1337] Right.

[1338] The boom was like 84.

[1339] And I started in 88.

[1340] Okay.

[1341] And when I started, it's like people like, oh, you started about four years too late, kid.

[1342] Right.

[1343] Yeah.

[1344] But there was still plenty of work.

[1345] Yeah, there was a lot.

[1346] But it was all clubs.

[1347] At 93, it was over.

[1348] Oh.

[1349] Did you get discouraged?

[1350] No, because it was good for me because all the guys.

[1351] Yeah, everyone was quitting.

[1352] And I was there.

[1353] I was working for free.

[1354] I wasn't looking to make money.

[1355] I was just doing it.

[1356] Yeah.

[1357] So all of a sudden, I was able to just, if you had a car and would drive the headliner to a club, you could get on stage.

[1358] Well, there was also this weird attitude that some people would have that, like, they were getting screwed because the work was going away.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] Like, you were getting screwed.

[1361] Like, what, and I remember thinking, like, wow, what a foolish way of looking at things that is, that you are personally getting screwed.

[1362] Yeah.

[1363] Because this entire industry was oversaturated with a bunch of hacks.

[1364] Hacks.

[1365] Yeah, real hats.

[1366] Someone was talking about is there going to be a bust now because there's been so much comedy out there and stuff.

[1367] It's not a dearth of shitty comedy now.

[1368] No. There's a lot of comedy, but it's a lot of good comedy that's progressing and moving forward.

[1369] The art form's booming.

[1370] A lot of different voices.

[1371] There's a lot of going on.

[1372] Yeah.

[1373] It's not, there was a bust back then for a reason.

[1374] People had 40 minutes of material and they just pounded people with it relentlessly.

[1375] And they never wrote.

[1376] And they never wrote anything else.

[1377] No, it was shitty.

[1378] Yeah, and there was a lot of these formula guys that would go, you know, they would just have some fucking, like, really obvious premise, and they would work it like a comedian would say.

[1379] They had a way of talking like a comedian.

[1380] What is this?

[1381] Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom playing out in my kitchen?

[1382] Yeah, yeah.

[1383] And it was really funny for a while.

[1384] Something's happening now where French comics are getting exposed for stealing American comedy verbatim.

[1385] Now.

[1386] And translating to French.

[1387] And there was a video that came out today that showed Dave Chappelle and then some French comic ripping them off, Jerry Seinfeld, and then some French comic ripping them off.

[1388] And not just ripping them off, but ripping them off with the same hand motion.

[1389] the same doing his act in French just doing his act in French as if they were the only human beings who spoke both English and French this was something that we had heard about forever from the Montreal Comedy Festival oh really yeah because the Montreal Comedy Festival not the people that performed there but we would perform in Montreal and we would talk to guys who were comics that spoke English and French right and a lot of the guys that spoke French sometimes they would tell you they did French shows yeah And I go, oh, what's that like?

[1390] That's weird.

[1391] Like, you do French shows and English shows, and they go, it's interesting, but there's a bunch of comics that are famous only in the French -speaking world of touring comedy, and they just steal from American comics and just say their stuff in French.

[1392] I go, no. Oh, yeah, it's blatant.

[1393] Wow.

[1394] And there's a handful of comedians that were making a living touring for years, just stealing everybody's shit.

[1395] I love how they steal from the biggest guys.

[1396] It's so stupid.

[1397] Yeah.

[1398] Yeah, I mean, literally, this is, wow, they're getting a guy from 2004.

[1399] So this is, they're going back.

[1400] This is like, hashtag me too.

[1401] That's hilarious.

[1402] Copy comic mix.

[1403] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1404] 85 or 86 to 2005.

[1405] Well, that's gad.

[1406] Do you know him?

[1407] Yeah.

[1408] How do you know him?

[1409] They call him the Jerry Seinfeld of France.

[1410] Well, he took that shit literally.

[1411] He's good friends with Jerry Yeah, well, stealing Jerry shit Oh man Yeah, it's interesting And they're using Hashtag copy comic And hashtag copy comic mix I wonder that this is like French speaking comedians who don't do this Who are like enough is enough you fucks And they're mad And they're coming out with all this Yeah, maybe Maybe There is a real thing I was thinking The other day I heard you talking with I think it was Neil.

[1412] Brennan?

[1413] Yeah, and then you were talking about Jenny.

[1414] Richard Jenny, yeah.

[1415] Who I love Jenny, too.

[1416] One of the greats.

[1417] And then I was underrated comedian of all time, I think.

[1418] So great.

[1419] But when you listen to his stuff, it is very much of the time.

[1420] I think all comedy is very much of the time.

[1421] Sure.

[1422] It really, like even our stuff from, you know, 15 years ago is of that moment.

[1423] and like you listen to Jenny and he's he's so funny and so but he's definitely of that ear like if I were to try and turn my 15 year old on to him it wouldn't fly I don't know I think if you if you made your 15 year old listen to a steaming pile of me yeah yeah 15 year old boy or girl parts of it girl parts of it but I mean it's and it's not this isn't a knock I think you know what I mean it's just comedy is very much of the give and take of the culture and what's happening.

[1424] And there's some stuff holds up and some stuff because, like, because Richard is the first guy to do the lobster in a tank.

[1425] See, but he wasn't even, he wasn't even.

[1426] There was a guy in Boston that was doing it even before him.

[1427] Oh, really?

[1428] He was a guy named Don Gavin who had a fucking hilarious bit about a lobster in a tank.

[1429] Oh, really?

[1430] John Gavin's like the king.

[1431] He was a monster, a monster.

[1432] But see, what happens is he breaks that.

[1433] He breaks that code, that guy, right?

[1434] He comes up with that bit.

[1435] And then 15 years later, we've seen shades of it.

[1436] Right.

[1437] So then by the time my kid hears it, it's like, oh, that old thing.

[1438] Right.

[1439] And they don't realize at that moment when Don Gavin comes up with that on his way into the club.

[1440] Right.

[1441] It's genius.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] Right?

[1444] Yeah.

[1445] No, yeah, for sure.

[1446] And there was a bunch of people had similar premises back then.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] You know, there was a bunch of bits about game shows.

[1449] You know, there was a bunch of bits.

[1450] There was a lot of different bits that people just had their own take on these individual things.

[1451] Yeah, yeah.

[1452] Gavin was so funny.

[1453] Oh, he was a monster.

[1454] Yeah.

[1455] He's one of those guys that never left Boston, though.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] Boston was a dirty mistress.

[1458] She fucking kept you around.

[1459] Yeah.

[1460] Crush your dreams.

[1461] Yeah.

[1462] It was so good there that they stayed.

[1463] Stayed.

[1464] And have long careers, though, right?

[1465] Yep.

[1466] But they should have been monsters.

[1467] Like, Don Gavin should be, in my opinion, he should be right up there with all the greats.

[1468] Yeah.

[1469] People should know him the same way they know of Robin Williams and all these other stand -up comics that are huge, maybe even bigger.

[1470] Such a natural.

[1471] Such a natural.

[1472] So good.

[1473] Especially at the time.

[1474] Yeah.

[1475] Oh, my God.

[1476] In 88 when I first started.

[1477] Oh, really?

[1478] He would show up, half -cocked, drinking hand, go on stage, and just crush to the point where you just, like, you couldn't believe how good his timing was.

[1479] Yeah.

[1480] And he had that fucking Boston way we had talking about things.

[1481] That Irish kind of, right?

[1482] Yeah, when I vacation, I went to Puerto Rico.

[1483] I loved it, but fucking so many Puerto Ricans, I don't even know how they afford it.

[1484] So expensive.

[1485] I'm a vegetarian.

[1486] I ain't meeting shit, but It's like the timing of it Everything was a throwaway And every tag was a throwaway to another tag You were laughing at shit You couldn't believe you were hearing So brilliant Yeah And then it really becomes You know, there's certain stuff Like I'll see like the old I was watching old Jack Benny on YouTube And some of it really is this fun funny as sitcoms that are out today.

[1487] Really?

[1488] Yes, some of it isn't, is, it nails it, but most of it is, like I said, it's, it just kind of dates itself.

[1489] I was watching an ad for these Jackie Gleason DVDs.

[1490] So I guess Jackie Gleason had a show.

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] I didn't know you had a show.

[1493] Yeah, and the Honeymooners was a part of that show.

[1494] Oh.

[1495] It was like a bit.

[1496] A sketch.

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] So it was a variety show.

[1499] Yeah.

[1500] And they're playing this ad for a DVD for the variety show.

[1501] So my wife walks into the kitchen and I'm watching this on TV.

[1502] She goes, what the fuck are you watching?

[1503] And I'm like, look at this.

[1504] This is like a time machine.

[1505] Like you get to watch what people thought was amazing in 1960 or whatever this was.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] Yeah.

[1508] Yeah, look at that.

[1509] And away he goes.

[1510] The Jackie Gleason show.

[1511] The Jackie Gleeson show.

[1512] Look at all the characters.

[1513] Yeah, look, there's the honeymooners at the bottom.

[1514] Joe the bartender.

[1515] Yeah.

[1516] Wow.

[1517] Fenwick Babbitt.

[1518] Reggie Van Gleason the third.

[1519] What the fuck?

[1520] Yeah, just doing a whole bunch of character.

[1521] They called them the greatest.

[1522] He called himself the greatest.

[1523] CBS TV.

[1524] The best.

[1525] Wow.

[1526] How weird.

[1527] Yeah, that was his show.

[1528] Eight to nine o 'clock on Saturdays.

[1529] Brought to you by Schick.

[1530] And they all smoked.

[1531] And Clarets.

[1532] See if you can find a clip from it.

[1533] Oh, the best.

[1534] It's so weird to watch, man. They all smoked.

[1535] They were constantly smoking, like, while they were on the set.

[1536] They would, like, light up, and they're doing their sketches, and they had, like, a cigarette in their hand while they're doing sketches.

[1537] A lot of them were sponsored by the cigarettes.

[1538] Oh, that makes sense.

[1539] Yeah.

[1540] That makes sense.

[1541] Jack Benny Show they would stop and just start talking about it.

[1542] Due to the nature of the rare kinescope recordings utilized in this tape, picture quality will vary in comparison to modern video technology.

[1543] However, because of the historical significance of the subject matter, they are included very nice this is it man this is the beginning of television comedy damn look at what it looks like American scene yeah it's basically a poster you're just pushing it on a poster does it say what year this is Jamie 52 62 62 so this is right around the time where he was in the hustler oh man was that the best look at that giant pack of marlborough cigarettes wow what does she say, but back it up a little bit so I can hear what she said about Marlboro.

[1544] Give me some volume and back it up.

[1545] The music.

[1546] So great.

[1547] I love this stuff.

[1548] From New York City, the entertainment capital of the world.

[1549] With a Marlboro.

[1550] I bet those gals would love to come back and do some fucking Me Too speeches.

[1551] Imagine what kind of Me Too shit was happening back then?

[1552] Yeah.

[1553] Those were cave people.

[1554] Art Carnie.

[1555] was with him.

[1556] Played Norton.

[1557] In front of a live audience.

[1558] Boy, there was nothing to look forward to back then.

[1559] I mean, you could get laid a couple of times, and then before you know it, your wife was pregnant, and you had a bunch of kids.

[1560] Yeah.

[1561] And you just paying your bills.

[1562] Give me a goddamn laugh.

[1563] Look at this.

[1564] These gals running around.

[1565] Yeah, you'd have a little...

[1566] This was showbiz.

[1567] I mean, this came from, you know...

[1568] No. No disrespect.

[1569] But do you think Jackie Gleeson got to bang any of these chicks?

[1570] Absolutely.

[1571] In 62, right?

[1572] I'm the greatest.

[1573] But, I mean, you probably could barely get it up.

[1574] He was chain smoking.

[1575] Chain smoking.

[1576] Drink and big drinker.

[1577] Hammered all the time.

[1578] Big time drinker.

[1579] And by this time, he's probably deep into his 40s, right?

[1580] Yeah.

[1581] Grossly unhealthy.

[1582] Yeah.

[1583] So, 62.

[1584] How old do you think Jackie Gleeson wasn't 62?

[1585] Here he comes.

[1586] Here you him.

[1587] look at that face wow he was the greatest it certainly was an original oh man yeah energy fuck look at him energy pinkie ring we hear some monologue he's getting laughs he hasn't open his mouth wait should it takes a sip and she walks away that was the joke and he dances Look at that There was no hip replaces back then Wow This is so weird You had to dance You had to sing You had to tell jokes But it's weird to watch Look at her Wouldn't you love To go back in time And Bang some hot lady from 1962 I bet it was just different back then It was wild When was birth control When did birth control come out?

[1588] 60s So I feel like that's where people changed what they are because back then like there was this mad desire right but there was also insane consequences yeah if you had sex with someone you're like oh we might have a kid you can again you might have a person yeah like this this this this this this drive this pole this cyclone of lust that leads you to this one person ramifications not just ramifications but life changing life altering results and consequences right then the pill comes and you have the sexual revolution.

[1589] People started bagging everywhere.

[1590] Weirdness.

[1591] Women were in control of their own destiny.

[1592] Yeah.

[1593] But just what changed what it means to have sex.

[1594] It became this weirdness.

[1595] It became for pleasure.

[1596] It wasn't just to, yeah.

[1597] I mean, it was always for pleasure.

[1598] It was always for pleasure, but the odds of that pleasure biting you in the ass.

[1599] Like, and people must have just assumed you're going to have a few babies' mamas by the time you got to a certain age, right?

[1600] But as a woman, if you had a, um baby out of wedlock you were ostracized yeah you were seen as you know bad news that is crazy right yeah you were seeing the guy wasn't it was nothing no reflection on amy wasn't even in the picture she's just like a whore fuck what a shit deal for women that is yeah it's pretty bad yeah but there's some people that argue that the pill and that changing the nature of sexual intercourse change the way women interact with men, which changed the way women sort of, like, view themselves.

[1601] Yeah.

[1602] This is not necessarily all positive.

[1603] I always found out to be a confusing argument.

[1604] I don't know.

[1605] Well, the argument being that with, like, that it's natural for a woman to be very selective about who she has sex with, and that it's natural for a woman to, you know, want a guy who's got a shit together and all these different factors in place before she allows the man to procreate with her right but that the pill comes along and then all sudden women could just have one -night stands and they could be like the chicks from sex in the city and uh you know right just bang up a storm and have no consequences but like a guy yeah but this led to like a deeply unfulfilling narrative that a lot of women sort of found themselves repeating it's a very tortured conversation because i'm not a woman because i don't know what their actual does no but that's also that also can be said of men i mean just that's just that scenario just to have sex just to just to keep banging and have no emotional connection i know guy friends end up in a very lonely place because of that you know well think of this way right if you're 20 and that's the case yeah everybody's like ah he's having a good time right if you're 60 yeah and that's the case like oh that poor bastard yeah all he does is get hookers yeah brings him back to his mansion yeah it seems they do coke and they dance it's like do you remember okay i love the picture of a 60 year old guy just dancing in a lonely place with one girl jack nicholson his hair all fucked up you know yeah like a whole bed -headed psychedelic fur is playing Love my wife With a robe It's a new Yeah It's so funny Oh it's that fucking old dude in Italy John Lukavachi Yeah that guy's hilarious It's great Do you know who this guy is?

[1606] No he's in good shape Well he's He got rid of that gal And got a couple more since then But he's 50 years old And he's like the super millionaire And he makes these videos Of him and girls dancing on yachts and shit but he's got like weird tattoos like he's got an ankle bracelet tattoo like he's got writing around his ankle that he apparently like taped over so then he wears like ankle bracelets to cover the fact that he's got this weird ankle like writing tattoo see that black how old is this guy he's 50 he's in great shape he's in pretty good shape oh dude his Instagram is hilarious his feed is all like him dancing and doing weird shit but he's kind of like writing all over his body and tattoos he's a very strange character it is a strange cat but he's become from these videos this enormous um social media celebrity type character oh really yeah what's his name john luca vachi john lucca vachie party man he's like the most interesting man in the world he's a dj too he does like international dj stuff so he flies around his private jet all over the world and of course he does Probably banging tens, doing coke dancing, sad existence.

[1607] But is he happy?

[1608] I don't think so.

[1609] Look at those girls.

[1610] How could you be happy?

[1611] That's the thing.

[1612] It's like, how come that's sad if he's 50 and not sad if he's 20?

[1613] It's weird.

[1614] Well, yeah, it's always your own shit.

[1615] It's your own projection, you know?

[1616] I mean, he seems like he's doing me like he's pretty happy.

[1617] Looks like he's dancing and he's doing backflips into the water.

[1618] Yeah.

[1619] There is right there.

[1620] Yeah, he's got weird writing all over his body.

[1621] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1622] He's also showing his dick root.

[1623] Oh, geez.

[1624] That's that weird thing that the young fellows do.

[1625] Yeah, you show the bones.

[1626] Yeah, it's not like a, it's not a good look.

[1627] The dick root look.

[1628] It's so gross.

[1629] Like, I know what you're doing, man. Stop.

[1630] So, like, look at the Captain America one.

[1631] Click on the Captain America one.

[1632] This, like, he tries too hard sometimes.

[1633] Some of them are just really weird.

[1634] Like this one.

[1635] First of all, look how tan he is.

[1636] How he doesn't have skin cancer is fucking amazing.

[1637] Oh, man. He's dancing like Captain America.

[1638] He's got a shield and a head thing on.

[1639] Meanwhile, $6 ,723 ,840 views.

[1640] Oh, my God.

[1641] It's crazy.

[1642] It's so stupid.

[1643] It's so stupid.

[1644] More people watch that than watch any hit movie this year.

[1645] That's so insane.

[1646] It's just, God.

[1647] You never know what's going to hit kids.

[1648] There's this fucking show that my 7 -year -old loves.

[1649] Yeah.

[1650] And the show is called.

[1651] haters back off.

[1652] And there's this girl and then Miranda something or another.

[1653] She's a YouTube sensation.

[1654] Oh, Miranda sings.

[1655] Yeah.

[1656] Yeah.

[1657] She's a YouTube sensation for doing stuff like really badly on purpose and pretending that she's, you know, she's killing it.

[1658] And she's got this Netflix show that I watched with them and it's the fucking show is not a bad show.

[1659] It's an interesting show.

[1660] It's weird.

[1661] It's almost like a female Napoleon Dynamite type situation.

[1662] You know, but...

[1663] She's talented.

[1664] But my daughter, who's seven, loves it.

[1665] And she does a grand impression.

[1666] This is, like, something hilarious about, like, whatever she's nailed.

[1667] That's great.

[1668] But some of the shows, like, she had this one about being famous and about, like, refreshing, like, constantly refreshing her page to find out how many likes and thumbs up and thumbs down.

[1669] She got her was super depressing.

[1670] Oh, really?

[1671] Because she was crying and her mother screaming at her to tell her.

[1672] or how selfish she is and the whole thing is like it's really weird she just lives in the studio city she's just like a actress in the valley she was now she's bawling out of control now she sells out everywhere she does live shows what kind of live shows she comes out and sings like miranda oh my god all these young girls just pack the place yeah yeah there's weird money there's weird money in these things she's funny she's she's very like that's very like groucho marks kind of old school she has these big cartoon lips and you know she puts the lipstick all the way around on the outside of the lips yeah yeah it's um my kids were imitating her for a while 6 .5 million Instagram followers it's pictures of spaghetti and her butt and stuff it's so weird and her making weird faces you guys you guys but meanwhile she's nailing it with seven year olds because a seven year old she was sick from school yesterday She watched it all day.

[1673] She fucking loves it.

[1674] I was on the Tonight Show once with Miley Cyrus.

[1675] This was like, I don't know, eight years ago or something.

[1676] And she's so famous.

[1677] The point was she was just completely huge, you know.

[1678] And my kids came along because they wanted to meet her.

[1679] My kids were little.

[1680] And I was like, wow, she's really nailing it.

[1681] She's like huge in show business and stuff.

[1682] And then my kids come up, can we take a picture?

[1683] And she's like, yeah, okay, yeah.

[1684] And she had to, like, squat down to take pictures with these two little people.

[1685] I was like, that's the price she has to pay.

[1686] What?

[1687] Her whole days, her whole is squatting down and taking pictures with little people.

[1688] It's bad for the lower back.

[1689] Yeah.

[1690] All the squatting and posing.

[1691] Yeah.

[1692] Like, we were talking about, um, the other, by the way, um, a bunch of people got mad.

[1693] Because we were, we were talking about that Logan Paul guy who had taken, uh, photos.

[1694] Oh, yeah.

[1695] or videos with dead people.

[1696] People were mad at the way we were discussing the Logan Paul thing.

[1697] People were saying I defended him.

[1698] I don't think I defended him.

[1699] Did I?

[1700] I don't think I did.

[1701] I don't remember we were high as fuck.

[1702] It was me and Red Band wearing NASA outfits.

[1703] Don't take it seriously, by the way.

[1704] And I read into it more.

[1705] I didn't know exactly what he did, but I read into it more.

[1706] Apparently he was mocking the bodies.

[1707] Like there's people's, like their hands were bloated and blue, and he was making fun of it all and stuff.

[1708] Yeah, he's a bad guy apparently.

[1709] Mike made a super cut of like everything he did in Japan.

[1710] He did a bunch of other things on top of that apparently.

[1711] It's his thing.

[1712] That we weren't aware of.

[1713] Well, he's a creep.

[1714] He's trying to be outrageous.

[1715] Yeah.

[1716] Trying to get attention.

[1717] Totally.

[1718] And it was working.

[1719] He's got a ton of people.

[1720] It's the same thing though, right?

[1721] It's like these people that you're like, what do they do?

[1722] How do they have?

[1723] He's got what?

[1724] And you find he's got how many millions of this and that?

[1725] No, exactly.

[1726] That the guy's brother is the other one who lives next to a friend of mine bought a seven million.

[1727] dollar house 20 years old but a $7 million house in Calabasas killing it no he's one of those people that you know everyone love him and hate him equally and he has just but even the people that hate him still have to see what he's doing it's like that kind of thing yeah it's super confusing yeah celebrity it's just that you know and he's outrageous I guess I don't know anything about him it's also just access like everyone has access to YouTube so like what YouTube is now is like a television show that you keep in your pocket.

[1728] Yeah.

[1729] You just constantly, yeah.

[1730] There's a video that I posted yesterday of this poor bastard.

[1731] This fucking guy raised a squirrel.

[1732] I saw that.

[1733] The cute little squirrel.

[1734] They rehabilitated it and they got the little squirrel and they said, hey little squirrel, we're gonna, everything's gonna be fine.

[1735] He's like putting him back into nature.

[1736] Hey, it's time.

[1737] It's about time, little guy.

[1738] And he puts a little squirrel on the tree.

[1739] and he's like, you just, you go about your way.

[1740] Good luck, little fella.

[1741] This is where you live now.

[1742] And he's got the squirrel on the tree for all of 15 seconds, and a cat comes along and jacks him with ridiculous speed.

[1743] I'm going to hear the volume.

[1744] This is my favorite part, the screaming.

[1745] Here we go.

[1746] That cat just, that cat was on that fucker so fast.

[1747] The cat climbs up the tree, grabs him, and just takes off.

[1748] Just ran with him in his mouth.

[1749] And that's like you, it's more than you doing that with a cat.

[1750] Like, if you had a cat in your mouth, the cat would be smaller in your mouth than that hamster or that squirrel would be.

[1751] That's how big the fucking cat is.

[1752] It's so wrong.

[1753] Here it is.

[1754] Oh, bitch!

[1755] That's a rap, son!

[1756] Almost a million people saw it.

[1757] Cats don't give a fuck.

[1758] They don't give a fuck.

[1759] My cat's a killer.

[1760] Oh, dude, they're ruthless.

[1761] ruthless ruthless just kills everything anything they can yeah have you ever seen the numbers for how many things cats kill in north america no billions of birds billions billions billions billions billions of mammals and billions of birds what so gangsters they kill them and don't even eat them no they just kill them yeah they just like the sport taste food food food's easy yeah cats that live in the wild or indoor pets are allowed to roam outdoors kill between 1 .4 billion to as many 3 .7 billion birds in the continental U .S. each year.

[1762] So it's a new study that escalates a decades -old debate over feline threat to native animals.

[1763] And it shows this cute little cat with a bird in its mouth.

[1764] They're monsters.

[1765] Yeah.

[1766] And just brings them and drops them in my kids' beds.

[1767] Look at this question.

[1768] People also ask, do cats kill birds?

[1769] I keep leaving my birds and they're dead.

[1770] But Fluffy would never do that.

[1771] No. Fluffy's a sweetie.

[1772] I didn't see a feather in its bowl.

[1773] Well, they're, you know.

[1774] My cat drops rodents all in my children's hair while they sleep.

[1775] Oh, no!

[1776] Oh, that's so disgusting.

[1777] In her bed.

[1778] Oh, my God.

[1779] Dropped a rat in my daughter's bathroom.

[1780] It took a leak in her shower cap.

[1781] Really?

[1782] Yeah.

[1783] To mark his territory?

[1784] No, the rat was just scared, shitless and was right.

[1785] The rat did was still alive.

[1786] It was like behind the toilet and stuff, and we finally got it out.

[1787] And my daughter, the next day, goes to put on her shower cap, and it's just filled with pee.

[1788] Rat pee?

[1789] Rat pee.

[1790] You can fucking die from that.

[1791] Disgusting.

[1792] Did you know that you can get leprosy from armadillos?

[1793] Of course I don't know that.

[1794] It's one of the few ways that a human can contract leprosy from an animal.

[1795] Leprosy is apparently 95 % of us are immune to leprosy But you can get leprosy from armadillo Oh my god Yeah so if you eat an armadillo cook the shit out of it folks And wear rubber gloves How armadillos can spread lepros That's a dinosaur too isn't it Look at that Tank -like creatures are the only mammals besides us Known to carry lepros Oh my lord Yeah apparently though those things taste pretty good people eat armadillos they do yeah yeah they open them up and it's kind of a fatty meat and you grill it and uh yeah people marinate it and grill it it's all in your head i mean why is a lobster delicious and that thing's gross because it walks on the road because you see it's beady eyes at night when you're driving to vegas okay but why is it deer delicious then because deer's walking the road too they're not as delicious deer yeah i don't like deer so much how dare you You're not cooking it right?

[1796] Yeah, probably not.

[1797] How come you're eating elk?

[1798] That's a deer.

[1799] I love that elk.

[1800] It's a giant elk.

[1801] A giant elk is a giant deer.

[1802] They taste different, though.

[1803] Well, maybe, in fairness, I haven't had deer in a long time when I didn't know how to cook.

[1804] Well, also, it's how people take care of it is a big issue.

[1805] There's things called tarsal glands that exist on the deer's legs that are particularly active when they're horny, which is when a lot of times when you hunt them, which is called the rut.

[1806] And those tarsal glands, if they're not handled, correctly while you're skinning the deer you can leak some of that stuff on the meat and it'll greatly taint the way the meat tastes Oh maybe I had some of that Yeah there's that and then there's also people Don't take care of it like for the moment They kill it like how long does it take Before it's actually cooled down and Dressed and this was like in New Jersey I'm sure Nothing was being done correctly That's where I was born Trust me nothing's done right there Born and raised I know exactly Who killed it What part of New Jersey were you born in?

[1807] I was born in Passake.

[1808] Oh, okay.

[1809] Yeah.

[1810] Yeah, New Jersey deers are probably polluted too.

[1811] There's a ton of them.

[1812] Oh, yeah.

[1813] They're really, I mean, it's really, they're everywhere.

[1814] Well, New Jersey has an interesting situation now because the new governor has decided to stop bear hunting.

[1815] Yeah.

[1816] New Jersey's, New Jersey has the highest population of brown bear per capita in the country.

[1817] Jeez.

[1818] New Jersey does.

[1819] which people don't that doesn't make sense to the bears you're like wait a minute yeah you say bear in new jersey yeah yeah new jersey has enormous bear population huge am i that we were talking about it over uh the holidays my sister my sister had uh her dog was going crazy um at this woodpile and my sister uh went and put a big tarp over it the next day the dog's going crazy again at the tar at the wood pile and she's like why is he going so so nuts and she goes outside to get the dog and a big ass bear comes out from under the tarp just in new jersey just starts like coming out she was so thankful that she didn't just like poke her head under there well we've played videos these two giant bears battling it out and far rock away where they tackle over each other and they slam into these garbage pails and garbage goes flying they knock over a um a mailbox and they go right out in the traffic and fur is flying all over the place.

[1820] Yeah, they're fighting for garbage.

[1821] They fight for access to these areas where these people drop their garbage off.

[1822] Like turf.

[1823] Yeah, and this new governor, because Christy...

[1824] So why?

[1825] Chris Christie's such a slob.

[1826] Like, people hated him so much.

[1827] Yeah.

[1828] And he was the Republican, so they hired this ultra -liberal, social justice warrior -type new governor who's decided he has this ideological opposition to the bear hunt even though the bear hunt in New Jersey is like really strictly controlled by wildlife biologists they've done it to try to keep the populations healthy and there was also the situation that happened in Rutgers a couple years ago where a kid was killed by a bear oh really yeah one of the students yeah Rutgers yeah sad one of the students was wandering through the woods with his friends and they got fucking attacked by a bear and a bear killed one of the kids oh my god took a picture of it before it killed him too this happened at the stress factory?

[1829] Real, right next door in the parking lot.

[1830] Vinnie Brand was there.

[1831] He was doing, he had the phone and everything.

[1832] He was doing phone calls to the Bears den.

[1833] Yeah, we got your daughter down here.

[1834] She's really drunk, sir.

[1835] But so the wildlife biologist put a number, like, you know, the bears can be healthy and conflicts with people can be reduced if we have, you know, the bears reduced to a certain amount.

[1836] Like, it's not an issue.

[1837] of, they're endangered.

[1838] They're not endangered in any way, shape, or form.

[1839] It's the opposite.

[1840] They're overabundant.

[1841] But this is a problem with people when it comes to bears, or what my friend Steve Ronella likes to call charismatic megafauna, and that people look at animals and they anthropomorphize them and start thinking of them as being yogi and boo -boo and our little friends that live in the forest.

[1842] Right.

[1843] And they don't realize, like, no, these are animals, man. You can't have animals that.

[1844] They're giant predators in close proximity to human beings without monitoring and having wildlife biologists, stoic, calm, objective people who really understand animals, tell you exactly how many there should be in this area and when it becomes a problem.

[1845] Right.

[1846] And so they're going to have an issue in New Jersey, the same way they're going to have an issue in British Columbia, they outlawed grizzly bear hunting in British Columbia this year for the exact same reason.

[1847] Oh, really?

[1848] And they did it in British Columbia because...

[1849] They're not endangered?

[1850] No. There's a ton of them.

[1851] There's a ton of them.

[1852] Not only they're not endangered, but the people that voted on it are the people that live in Vancouver where there are no grizzly bears.

[1853] But Vancouver, even though it's the population center of British Columbia, it's where all the people live, it's by no means representative of what most of British Columbia looks like.

[1854] Most of British Columbia is woods and forest.

[1855] And those people have to deal with fucking grizzly bears.

[1856] like real grizzly bears.

[1857] So they said they're not allowed to hunt them at all?

[1858] They're not allowed to hunt them anymore now.

[1859] And so also it's a big part of their economy because there's a lot of these people that made a living by guiding people on these grizzly bear hunts.

[1860] Oh.

[1861] And it's going to also devastate the economy when it comes to their moose and elk hunting populations too.

[1862] Because a lot of people went there to moose hunt, elk hunt, and deer hunt.

[1863] But the bears, if the populations are going to go up, the bears are going to start eating more moose and elk and deer.

[1864] So what's their...

[1865] What's the reason?

[1866] Animal rights activists have been infiltrated the government and these people that are like leaning left and have sort of a delusional perception of what wildlife is.

[1867] They've decided to push these laws through that people didn't vote on, by the way.

[1868] This is not like something that was a giant statewide vote and people decided to end grizzly bear hunts.

[1869] Well, what's crazy about the Jersey thing is that he just got in office and the bear problem is this year it's been a problem.

[1870] That's while you're hunting.

[1871] Well, I think that people are doing it for the right reasons.

[1872] I think they're wrong, but they're doing it for the right reasons.

[1873] They're doing it because they think that hunting is cruel, and they're doing it because they think that these are trophy hunts and that there's no merit to it.

[1874] But what they don't understand is you're probably going to have to hire people to kill these bears anyway, which is what we do in California.

[1875] You know, in California, mountain lion hunting was outlawed in the 1990s, but since then they spent millions of dollars killing mountain lions every year.

[1876] Oh, really?

[1877] Not millions every year, but millions overall.

[1878] Like a crew to go get them?

[1879] Yeah, they send out professional hunters with dogs, usually, to go after problem mountain lions.

[1880] And the ones that they go after, almost all of them have pets in their stomach.

[1881] Oh, really?

[1882] That's what they eat.

[1883] They eat dogs.

[1884] Really?

[1885] Yeah, it's a big part of their diet.

[1886] I mean, it's fucked up.

[1887] People like, well, no, we're in their world, yes, but it's not their world anymore.

[1888] Just like it's not, you know, this isn't where the fucking dinosaurs live either, stupid.

[1889] We build homes all through here.

[1890] Shit changed.

[1891] Yeah.

[1892] And right now, we live here, and I'm more concerned about us than I am with the goddamn mountain lions.

[1893] And they just ate fluffy.

[1894] Mountain lions just ate fluffy, you fuck.

[1895] Are there a lot of mountain lions?

[1896] Like, is it the numbers big?

[1897] California has good numbers.

[1898] Yeah.

[1899] My friend works at Tahone Ranch, and they have, Tohone Ranch is just outside of Bakersfield, which is only about an hour and a half from here.

[1900] Yeah.

[1901] And they have a, what's called, a trail camera that's posted out in front of a pond.

[1902] And out of this one pond, they got pictures of 16 different mountain lines.

[1903] Wow.

[1904] Do you ever run into them when you go up on your runs?

[1905] I've seen mountain lines twice in my life.

[1906] One I saw in Colorado, and one I saw in San Diego, and one I saw in.

[1907] Santa Barbara.

[1908] I saw one in Montecito in a car.

[1909] I was driving.

[1910] It was driving?

[1911] Yeah.

[1912] It was had tunes on.

[1913] It was listening to Miley Cyrus.

[1914] I was in a car and I saw this thing that I thought was a coyote who was running across the road and I was oh, look at its tail.

[1915] I saw this big, thick, bouncy tail and I'm like, oh my God, it's a cat.

[1916] And I realized there's a mountain on.

[1917] Jeez.

[1918] It was weird.

[1919] It was weird.

[1920] But I'm looking at something for a second, you know, two seconds.

[1921] maximum right it was like boom boom what oh fuck it's a cat what you got jamie oh jesus christ wildlife camera catches uncollared mountain lion roaming the hollywood hills oh my god that looks the size of that fucker that is like yeah that's like from from africa and this is just a couple of months ago it's october 31st that's right by paulie shores house it is paulie sure Paula Shore turns into that at night When no one's watching That's why all the lights go down Hardly working He's just most of the time He's just out there Eating things That's crazy That's like something you'd see on Safari That's a big one too boy Look at the muscles on that fucker This is this is Halloween 2017 Yeah Crazy That is a uncolored mountain line Yeah that means they don't even know Where this one came from Oh my God I mean that's the Hollywood Hills That's like right next to people's homes Well, I used to take my dog to a dog park up there, a dog park that's off a laurel.

[1922] There's a dog park at the top of Laurel, like right when you go down.

[1923] If you're coming up over Studio City, right when you go down, there's a dog park out there if you go to the right.

[1924] And one of the, they had a big sign there that said, be on the lookout for mountain lines.

[1925] If mountain lines attack you, fight back.

[1926] Oh, my God.

[1927] What the fuck am I looking at here?

[1928] Jeez.

[1929] I just want to go for a run.

[1930] I'm just here to Hollywood.

[1931] My dog.

[1932] I'm taking my dog to the park.

[1933] I just want to see some girls and throw the ball around.

[1934] Yeah, that's...

[1935] And a lot of that is just because of our attitude about these animals.

[1936] And that's also why you see very few deer in California.

[1937] So there's like pros and cons, right?

[1938] The pro is you very rarely get in accidents with deer.

[1939] Right.

[1940] Like, that's so uncommon in California.

[1941] Yeah, that's true.

[1942] And it's because of mountain lines.

[1943] I always figured they just weren't indigenous to the area.

[1944] Oh, no, they're everywhere.

[1945] They used to be way more of them when I first moved here.

[1946] Really?

[1947] Yeah, man. When I moved, I moved to the valley in 94, and I see deer all the time, all the time.

[1948] We've seen in the Hollywood Hills all the time.

[1949] I have never seen the deer here.

[1950] I saw him a couple days ago out in like Thousand Oaks area.

[1951] Oh, yeah?

[1952] Yeah.

[1953] But they're very rare in California.

[1954] Anywhere else like this, like if you're in Long Island, Long Island has a giant problem with deer.

[1955] They're everywhere.

[1956] They hire snipers to go take care of them.

[1957] They do.

[1958] They're all over New Jersey.

[1959] They're like a pest.

[1960] Everywhere.

[1961] It's like mosquitoes in a way.

[1962] And it's because they don't have any predators like mountain lions or coyotes.

[1963] Very few coyotes.

[1964] So the natural order is why we don't see them out here?

[1965] They've kind of got a point.

[1966] And that point is you can let the mountain lines take care of the population.

[1967] And then when the mountain lines come into a problem, when they become a problem, then you can get something called a depredation permit, which, a woman got in the Malibu Mountains because she ran an alpaca farm and these mountain line one mountain line killed like I think 10 or 11 alpacas and a goat.

[1968] Oh my God.

[1969] In one session?

[1970] In one session?

[1971] And it was the same thing as like we were talking about cats with house cats.

[1972] They just killed it.

[1973] Just killed it.

[1974] Didn't eat it.

[1975] No. Just had a good old time.

[1976] Oh my God.

[1977] Alpaca pen couldn't help himself.

[1978] Just like jacking all of them.

[1979] Jeez.

[1980] When this woman got a depredation permit to kill the mountain lion, she got a ton of death threats from people.

[1981] They were saying, you fucking bitch, I'll kill you.

[1982] You touch that cat.

[1983] And then she's like, fuck this.

[1984] I'm not doing anything.

[1985] She felt like very exposed.

[1986] People knew where she were.

[1987] They knew where her farm was.

[1988] Jeez.

[1989] Yeah.

[1990] That's scary.

[1991] Fuck.

[1992] Yeah.

[1993] People get really nutty, man, when it comes to animals.

[1994] Yeah.

[1995] They get a weird, like, but certain animals, right?

[1996] Like, these people have this weird thing about that.

[1997] squirrel and then the cat came along killed that fucking squirrel guess what bitch you've been feeding that cat that's yours you made that monster and you let that thing roam around outside which is just you're asking for it to kill everything it runs into yeah that's what they do that's what they do yeah and it's probably super charged up about it too because he gets to do it all the time and the pride in front of its family to do it for the family that's what they like the most yeah that cat did that in front of you because that's what he wants you to see right hey look at me oh it's scary it is weird hey i saw the tank oh you want to try it it someday yeah when do you want to try it i don't know when can i um well well we'll work something out we'll come up with a time where you can come in we should i should have had you come in early today you could done it before the podcast oh really yeah how long do you go in there i like to do at least an hour last time i did it just a couple days ago i did two hours just floating there for an hour yeah yeah just climb in relax do you listen to music or silence i silent i do silence yeah i'd like it like it like to try it yeah we'll do it next time for sure that'd be cool for sure this facility is amazing it's pretty crazy right it's so great i figure fuck it why not right it's so great to me it was one of those things where i was like all right if i could just do whatever i wanted to do what would i do right and then i go wait a minute i think i could do whatever i want to do I should just do it It's really great Jamie sold me a gym membership I'm going to start working out I didn't know Did you get a key fob?

[1998] Yeah it's pretty The gym equipment actually comes this week It's insane Yeah It's like a whole It's like a gym This is like Can you have an apartment?

[1999] Well it would be a real gym Next week Because rogue athletics Is outfitting it Like a real gym No way There's going to be a rowing machine There's going to be an air dine bike.

[2000] There's going to be a squat cage and full range of kettlebells and fucking steel plates.

[2001] Oh, man. Yeah.

[2002] They're doing the whole thing.

[2003] Fuck it.

[2004] It's awesome.

[2005] Well, you can go to the gym and get annoyed or you could just work out here.

[2006] Why not?

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] Just come on by.

[2009] What's the sauna?

[2010] Could you put the sauna in a house?

[2011] Yes.

[2012] You could?

[2013] For sure.

[2014] Yeah, if you have the room for it.

[2015] And they have varying sizes of saunas.

[2016] They do?

[2017] They do a big one.

[2018] Yeah.

[2019] Quite honestly, that one's too big for me. I mean, I've only gone in it by myself.

[2020] Yeah.

[2021] But you could have a couple people in there in that one.

[2022] So the idea of that one was, what was that room?

[2023] Was it like a closet before that we turned it into sauna?

[2024] Yeah.

[2025] Yeah.

[2026] Yeah.

[2027] We just decided, like, this is a spot, like, that wide and this.

[2028] Okay, put it there.

[2029] Can you get one that size?

[2030] Oh, really?

[2031] And apparently, they make them all.

[2032] sorts of different sizes.

[2033] Oh, they do?

[2034] Yeah.

[2035] And it fit perfect.

[2036] Dude, here's the thing.

[2037] I've been dealing with tendonitis in my elbow, and it's really been kind of annoying.

[2038] It's really been bothered.

[2039] Tendinitis is a weird one, man. And have you ever gotten it before?

[2040] No. I have what they call golfers elbow.

[2041] It's the inside where tennis elbow is the outside.

[2042] It's been annoying me for a few months now.

[2043] And it comes from overdoing chin -ups.

[2044] I was doing too many chin -ups.

[2045] Oh, really?

[2046] And I was being a meathead where I was just pushing through like it would start to annoy me and I would just keep going but one session in the sauna significantly reduced like the pain in it and then the second session did the same thing and then I did it again yesterday and I'm like I'm barely feel that tendonitis now for real?

[2047] Yeah and I got getting the inflammation out yeah I think it has a I think it just has an overall effect on inflammation throughout your whole body.

[2048] That's pretty cool.

[2049] You got a spare set underwear?

[2050] You can climb in today.

[2051] I'm going in right after the show.

[2052] No. What is this one, Jay?

[2053] It's like a personal infaritis are like probably $1 ,500, I think, or less.

[2054] Oh, really?

[2055] Just throw it in your house.

[2056] And they also make them where you lie down in them.

[2057] That's ridiculous.

[2058] They have one.

[2059] where you lie down in it like a suit and you zip it up up to your neck like see that one with the blue down there where that lady's lying down, keep going scroll down, scroll down, that one with the blue, your cursor's right, yeah, that.

[2060] That's ridiculous.

[2061] Yeah, you climb in.

[2062] That's like the old, that's like the old Brady bunch kind of things who gets sucked in your body and it's apparently really good for you.

[2063] Really?

[2064] You look like, she looks like the blueberry and Willie Wonka.

[2065] That's her pussy's for her.

[2066] Oh my God, it's on fire.

[2067] She's on fire It looks I like a nice sauna It's great hot I don't like the steam so much I think there's benefits to steam too But the real benefit of the sauna Is the fact that you can get to 176 degrees In the dry heat Your body can tolerate it But if you got to 176 degrees in steam Your fucking nipples would burn on fire Right That you'd feel the wet Yeah You basically be poaching yourself.

[2068] Right.

[2069] My friend really believes in the steam.

[2070] He's a big drinker, and he steams every morning, and it just all comes out of him.

[2071] He thinks.

[2072] Yeah, it's how I've been.

[2073] Please.

[2074] He's dying.

[2075] Those big drinkers, they all have different ways of managing the big drinking.

[2076] Yeah.

[2077] You just got to steam it out.

[2078] I'm all right.

[2079] I think sauna will probably help more if he could figure out a way to not.

[2080] I mean, I think he's probably getting some benefit.

[2081] from being in the steam, but I bet sauna would be even better for him.

[2082] Yeah.

[2083] And it's, again, the same thing, reducing the inflammation.

[2084] I'd like to be less puffy from inflammation.

[2085] Russians love it.

[2086] Five -time champion Timo Kaukonen had become adept at enduring the tournament's 110 degree Celsius, 230 Fahrenheit heat, lasting over 16 minutes in 2003.

[2087] But he died, didn't he?

[2088] Next guy died, the guy he was competing against.

[2089] Oh.

[2090] This is a competition, right?

[2091] World sauna championships.

[2092] Oh, my God.

[2093] What the fuck is wrong with people?

[2094] Yeah, come on.

[2095] I'm the very best at cooking myself, but not dying.

[2096] 16 minutes.

[2097] That's not long.

[2098] 230 degrees.

[2099] Let me tell you something, man. I was at 210 degrees.

[2100] I can't even fucking imagine someone going 20 degrees hotter than that.

[2101] Yeah.

[2102] Like my nipples were hurting.

[2103] And I was like, why are my nipples so hard?

[2104] Why are they so sore?

[2105] Why did you do that?

[2106] Well, I just, I cranked it up, and then I came in here to do my ads.

[2107] And when I did the ads, I left it on to the long.

[2108] It just got super hot.

[2109] It says that this one guy goes in for bursts of 130 to 140 degrees Celsius.

[2110] I just looked that up.

[2111] That's 284 degrees Fahrenheit.

[2112] Four minute bursts to 280 degrees?

[2113] Yeah.

[2114] Four minute bursts.

[2115] So he's essentially doing, like, the opposite of the cryogenic chamber.

[2116] Right.

[2117] It says you can get what's called hyper.

[2118] perthermia if you do this in a bad way.

[2119] Look at this.

[2120] Heavy bathers in favor of the hottest temperatures always wear felt caps and slippers because the wooden surfaces tend to get very high.

[2121] Oh my God.

[2122] That sounds adorable.

[2123] I cook things.

[2124] A felt cap and slippers are going in like Robin Hood.

[2125] But dude, I cook things at 250.

[2126] Yeah.

[2127] All the time.

[2128] No, yeah.

[2129] A lot of times when you cook like a potato, 150, pull it out of the oven.

[2130] I cook an elk steak, I'll cook it at 250, and I put an internal thermometer in when it gets to 125 degrees, and I pull it, and I jack the temperature up, and I sear the outside.

[2131] It's time to eat.

[2132] It says 160 Fahrenheit is 320 for short spells.

[2133] 320 degrees.

[2134] So these people aren't, this is a whole other psychosis.

[2135] This isn't about inflammation.

[2136] But isn't that just what people do?

[2137] Always.

[2138] Just leave it.

[2139] You can't just leave it.

[2140] You can't leave it alone.

[2141] We had a good thing going.

[2142] People that tattoo their eyeballs.

[2143] Yeah, why?

[2144] Oh, it wasn't good enough to write you only live once in your forehead.

[2145] You have to tattoo your eyeballs black.

[2146] He couldn't stop.

[2147] Yeah, you have to be like towed from X -Men.

[2148] Why do you have to do that?

[2149] Why are you putting things on your eyeballs?

[2150] No one wants you to do that.

[2151] But people can't help it.

[2152] They can't leave things alone.

[2153] If they get one piercing in their face, they want to get cheek piercings and nose pierced.

[2154] Look at this.

[2155] guy got his fucking eyeballs turned blue like you remember when you were a kid no one had their face tattoo nobody no one and now look at this another one yeah full eyeball tattoo soulless it says oh my god you're soulless bro hey bro you're soulless you got an umbrella like Mary Poppins on your cheek you stupid fuck he's got an umbrella his cheek and what is that a microphone is it a microphone or a razor blade what do you do when your kids start asking to have it to do it tattoos on their face anywhere they say they want to be pierced do they want to i i have two full sleeves i would be a massive hypocrite if i told them not to get tattoos yeah definitely tell them you really should think about the fact that you're going to keep the skin for your rest of your life yeah like don't you know if you want to get a tattoo it should mean something yeah don't get anything done that's cheap go real artist think about it yeah you know Yeah, you can't control him, I guess.

[2156] No, I don't think, not only do I think you can't control them, but I think if you try to control them, you're going to do the opposite.

[2157] Nose piercing?

[2158] Nose piercing seems easy.

[2159] You get it taken out.

[2160] You put it back in.

[2161] It's no big deal.

[2162] I would rather nose piercing than a forehead tattoo.

[2163] But they're so beautiful and pure.

[2164] Live in La Vita Loca, right on your forehead.

[2165] Yeah, I think my young one was like, I like a little nose.

[2166] like a little nose like the little dot in the nose kind of thing I was like could be worse things in this life I know I doesn't really make me that angry but she's so perfect just like I get it oh don't do that people like decorating themselves though then we were buying something this was when we were in New York and we're just walking around and then I was buying something and the woman at the register was tons of piercings on her nose and her ears and like you know like 50 on her ear And I said, did the nose one, did your nose piercing hurt?

[2167] This is right off our conversation.

[2168] Oh, yes, it really did hurt.

[2169] It was so painful, and they had to do it twice, and then it got infected, and it was just a terrible thing.

[2170] No, I got staff and gangrene.

[2171] And this isn't even my nose anymore.

[2172] I'm looking at my daughter, like, see?

[2173] See what can happen?

[2174] She's like, I still want it.

[2175] No, you can't stop them.

[2176] People like decorating themselves.

[2177] I know.

[2178] It's a weird thing.

[2179] I have a bad one on.

[2180] I have three.

[2181] I have a really bad one on my leg.

[2182] What is it?

[2183] It's a wizard.

[2184] Is it?

[2185] Yeah, you want to see it?

[2186] Yeah.

[2187] I'll show you.

[2188] This is my first tattoo.

[2189] It was a guy in New Jersey.

[2190] I just picked it off the wall.

[2191] That one's rough.

[2192] Is it got a candy cane in his hand?

[2193] Well, the original one on the wall, he was watering a pot plant.

[2194] Hold on.

[2195] He was watering a pot plant.

[2196] And I was like, I can't do that.

[2197] That's reckless.

[2198] Hold on a second.

[2199] You know what's really funny.

[2200] Pulled the microphone down so I can see your face here.

[2201] All right.

[2202] Here we go.

[2203] Look at me, buddy.

[2204] You know what's really funny?

[2205] What?

[2206] So when we did this show for your buddy that helps the Congo pygmies.

[2207] Justin, Justin, on the back of his book, it's exactly my tattoo.

[2208] He's got that?

[2209] Him in a hat with his beard.

[2210] It all comes full circle.

[2211] I showed it to him that night when we did the show.

[2212] He was freaking out.

[2213] He just sent me a text saying he's going to kill him up.

[2214] He's going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

[2215] Oh, my God.

[2216] Yeah.

[2217] I liked meeting that guy.

[2218] That was great.

[2219] That was the best part of the chest.

[2220] Isn't he one of the nicest guys of all the time?

[2221] Love that guy.

[2222] I can't help but do things for him.

[2223] Oh, my God.

[2224] He's just a gem of a human being.

[2225] I just wanted to hang with him all night.

[2226] From this podcast, we've built more than 20 different wells.

[2227] in the Congo, and he's built, they've built hundreds of wells there now.

[2228] It's amazing.

[2229] Just because of this podcast alone, more than 20 wells were built there.

[2230] Awesome.

[2231] Awesome.

[2232] He was such a good guy.

[2233] And just one of those people, like, instantly just kind of...

[2234] You could tell.

[2235] Yeah.

[2236] Yeah, he's a saint.

[2237] Yeah.

[2238] Like, legitimately like a saint.

[2239] Yeah.

[2240] His book is pretty great.

[2241] And he's a fucking cage fighter.

[2242] I know.

[2243] Like, what a...

[2244] How does that even...

[2245] It doesn't make sense.

[2246] Yeah.

[2247] Couldn't be a nice guy.

[2248] No. He was really cool, but I wish I had a picture of the book.

[2249] It literally is my shitty tattoo is, is him.

[2250] How many other ones you got?

[2251] I've got two more.

[2252] I've got one up here and one up here.

[2253] Those are good.

[2254] This was, and this was like a shitty spot for it too.

[2255] It was kind of like a coward wave on your calf.

[2256] It's just like, there is.

[2257] That's a picture.

[2258] That's my tattoo.

[2259] He's holding the thing.

[2260] Yeah, he's got a spear that he got from the pygmies, and he's wearing a hat that they made out of leaves.

[2261] Justin looks like my shitty tattoo.

[2262] What's on your shoulders?

[2263] My wife's name is on here, and over here is like this son with this quote from Walt Whitman on it.

[2264] These are the days that must happen to you.

[2265] From Ode to the Song of the Open Road by Walt Whitman.

[2266] These are the days that must happen to you.

[2267] These are the days that must happen to you.

[2268] You shall not gather.

[2269] riches you'll scatter with a lavish hand all that you earn and achieve you shall not settle in one place but we'll leave uh but we'll leave to the silent leers and laughing of those you leave behind um basically go out these are the days that must happen to you be fearless go go just go go don't stay in the harbor don't stay in one place don't stay in the harbor go and do you keep touch with friends from back home?

[2270] Yeah.

[2271] I've got a real tight group from grade school, high school.

[2272] Does some of them not leave, not go anywhere, and you're around them and you get to see what that's like?

[2273] A little bit, yeah.

[2274] That's a weird way of living.

[2275] Yeah.

[2276] It is a weird way of living.

[2277] And I get nostalgic sometimes because I go back to that same place, you know, where I was a kid.

[2278] And the one hand it seems like, you know, you could have made that choice.

[2279] You could stay and...

[2280] Easy.

[2281] Just stay there and be at the same spot and do the same thing.

[2282] And there's something very appealing and calm about it.

[2283] But it wasn't my nature.

[2284] I couldn't do it.

[2285] Yeah, there's always something appealing about something that other people are doing, though, isn't it?

[2286] Yeah, for sure.

[2287] Like, you think about your own situations and the weirdness of your own existence.

[2288] And you go, oh, wouldn't it be great if I just a fucking cabinet maker and Belgium?

[2289] Yeah.

[2290] Exactly.

[2291] That guy looks so happy.

[2292] He has his coffee in the morning.

[2293] He just makes his cabinets.

[2294] Goes to the same cafe every evening and has a beer.

[2295] Yeah, and he's in bed at nine.

[2296] Perfect.

[2297] He's him and his dog.

[2298] Perfect.

[2299] Sitting at the bar.

[2300] I love his cabinets.

[2301] Yeah.

[2302] And he's like, oh, this is hell.

[2303] I wish I was telling jokes.

[2304] It happens to me. You know, since I started baking this bread when I'm on the road, I'll go see these bakers.

[2305] Like, if there's someone really good in a town that I'm in and just go talk to them.

[2306] That's crazy.

[2307] So bakers is like.

[2308] like if you were a martial artist you'd go train with somebody yeah I go and I go and check out how they make their bread and see what they're doing so they let you in yeah you go hey I'm Tompapa a little sourdough yeah like hey you know I'll tweet out that I'm going to come and then they'll bring me back and yeah it's great so how do you find the good bakers in town is there a website that you go to no you just like you know through Instagram and stuff you start to see the ones that you really like and who they follow and you just start to see, like, who's doing the same kind of a thing, you know, because it's a certain, it's a very natural way of doing it.

[2309] So it's not like just like a big commercial bakery that's just, you know, cranking stuff out.

[2310] Like there's people that are real artists that are doing this stuff all around the country, all around the world.

[2311] So, but it's funny, like, because I'll come in and be like all bright -eyed and this is amazing.

[2312] So you're a baker and you just come in here and bake this stuff.

[2313] And you, I mean, how great is it that you feed the community and, everyone really loves what you do and you put your heart and soul into it and they look at you like I'm up at two o 'clock every day so I'm in a living hell flower my eyelashes I can't stay up past eight you know what I mean it is it's always like it's always the other thing you know they have to get up early right yeah man because you know you walk in and want a sticky bun on your way to work at seven o 'clock someone was up making that at four So it could be ready for you at seven.

[2314] There's no way around that.

[2315] There's no way around that.

[2316] There's no way around that.

[2317] Those bagels, someone's in there cranking that out in the middle of the night.

[2318] There's a good bit.

[2319] There's a good little bakery down the street from here, in fact.

[2320] Yeah.

[2321] I don't like to eat sweets very often.

[2322] Yeah.

[2323] But they have these fucking chocolate croissants that are so ridiculous.

[2324] The pastry part is so buttery.

[2325] and flaky and then the chocolate part is so rich so good i can't even i can't get coffee there because if i get coffee there i will get one of those fucking things and i'll feel like shit i know you tell like an hour later you're just like what happened to me but while you're eating it's heaven it's just a rich chewiness to the there's a combination of the flaky buttery pastry and the the richness of the chocolate and the sweetness and then you're drinking your coffee at the same time, you're like, this is perfect.

[2326] I didn't, I don't need anything but this.

[2327] Fuck diabetes.

[2328] I'm not worried about diabetes.

[2329] I wonder about life.

[2330] I want to live.

[2331] Yeah, that's living, man. It is the good stuff.

[2332] It's not bad, man. It's just, it's not good for you.

[2333] It's not, anything in excess, right?

[2334] You know what I found them?

[2335] A little treat once in a while.

[2336] Can you something?

[2337] Yeah.

[2338] There's a company called No Foods, K -N -O -W, and they make waffles, chocolate chip waffles, and they make syrup with low glycemic index, very little sugar in the waffle, very little sugar.

[2339] And it tastes good.

[2340] What do you mean they come like pre -made?

[2341] Like, yeah.

[2342] And you put them in the toaster, they're frozen.

[2343] Like an egg -o kind of a thing?

[2344] Yeah, but they don't last very long, so you have to like eat them, you have to thaw them out and cook it pretty quickly.

[2345] Eight grams of fiber, 12 grams of protein, four grams net carbs.

[2346] Whoa.

[2347] Come on, son.

[2348] Four grams?

[2349] That's right, bitch and I'm putting butter on those motherfuckers and slavering and then they have their own syrup their own syrup is very little as well oh that looks perfect dude I'm telling you they got it nailed smart people that are healthy that figured out a way to make look at that wow that you can eat that I had that yesterday felt great worked out afterwards I felt like a fucking champ didn't feel shitty at all like look at that you feel like there's no way I can eat that there's no way there's no way do you got to get them online or do you get them in a store I ordered them online yeah yeah and then they uh they're very nice wow they found out that i like them they sent me a box of shit what a treat we have some of their cookies here too try try one of their cookies before you leave tom papa need some of those yeah man there's some stuff that you can eat that people have figured out how to do those stores where places they sell oh wow there's a bunch of places where people have figured out how to make food that tastes really good that doesn't fuck you up yes of course let's be honest let's be honest the united states of america let's be honest It doesn't taste as good as that chocolate croissant.

[2350] Well, no. It just doesn't.

[2351] Well, no. It tastes damn good.

[2352] But you could have that.

[2353] Damn good.

[2354] Four times a week, probably.

[2355] Yeah, you could have it every day.

[2356] But there's something about knowing that you're eating shit.

[2357] And you're like, I don't care.

[2358] No. It's part of it.

[2359] It's part of the thrill.

[2360] The thrill, the joy during the holidays.

[2361] Oh, yeah.

[2362] When we had Christmas cookies on the counter for like two straight weeks, just walking through, eating them like chips.

[2363] Like, I don't care.

[2364] It's Christmas.

[2365] cookie time that's heaven you know what i had the other night it's a good time pumpkin pie with cool whip pumpkin pie no one no one's even pretending cool whips good for you no it's not even whipped cream it's no one even knows what the fuck cool whips they're not even pretending it's a food it's just like some weird fucking thick stuff that's white yeah oh that's good where the pumpkin pie come from i don't even know i didn't even ask it was at my mother -in -law's house oh man i didn't ask a goddamn question i just wolfed that fucker down something about warm pumpkin pie too oh my god it's so good pumpkin pies so i fasted yesterday i didn't eat anything really the whole day yeah had a little broccoli i had some water coffee coffee yeah i had probably four cups of coffee and uh i didn't feel bad i didn't i felt pretty good when i woke up this morning i was starving yeah well once your body if you can figure out how to do it for 45 hours, 48 hours, your body will kick into a state of burning fat, body will kick into a state of ketosis.

[2366] 48 hours straight?

[2367] Yeah, it depends on the person.

[2368] Some people, it's quicker depending on, if you're fat adapted, if it's even quicker than that.

[2369] But I know when I'm in that state because my appetite kind of goes away.

[2370] Yeah, that's what was weird.

[2371] I was like, why aren't I starving right now?

[2372] Yeah.

[2373] That's one good thing about when I was sick the last few days.

[2374] I hardly eat anything.

[2375] Yeah.

[2376] I look really sucks.

[2377] I was looking slim.

[2378] Look, myself in the mirror.

[2379] It's not coming down.

[2380] I'm looking ripped.

[2381] I'm gone.

[2382] My cheeks are sucked in.

[2383] My eyeballs are dark.

[2384] Yeah, breathe.

[2385] Look, look it's thin.

[2386] Sucks.

[2387] It's funny.

[2388] There's something that girls do the guys never do.

[2389] They do this pose where they look at you like this.

[2390] Yeah.

[2391] Photos.

[2392] I know.

[2393] They're like have their butt facing you.

[2394] Yeah.

[2395] My ass in my face.

[2396] When did that start?

[2397] At the same time.

[2398] There was no photos like that from the fucking 70s or the 80s.

[2399] People just looked at you.

[2400] We weren't wasted.

[2401] With no film, they had chance to come up with that.

[2402] Children.

[2403] Fucking grown -ass children.

[2404] Look at my ass.

[2405] Yeah, something about turning sideways.

[2406] I know.

[2407] It's so creepy.

[2408] Turning sideways and showing their butt and looking over their shoulder.

[2409] Like, hold on.

[2410] You know you're taking a picture, right?

[2411] And you chose to stand in some super illogical way where your ass is facing the camera.

[2412] Not your face.

[2413] Like you're looking over your shoulder.

[2414] This is how you chose to take a picture.

[2415] This is so crazy.

[2416] It is completely insane.

[2417] But it's super common.

[2418] Yeah, no, it's, yeah, kids do it.

[2419] Kids pose that way.

[2420] Like this gal.

[2421] Look that.

[2422] That's common.

[2423] Yeah.

[2424] That's, oh, 11 simple poses that will make you look more attractive.

[2425] Oh, that's good.

[2426] I need to learn these.

[2427] Yeah, I need this.

[2428] I want to look more attractive.

[2429] I do, too.

[2430] Here we go.

[2431] Turn your torso.

[2432] or the body from the waist instead of turning your neck.

[2433] Oh, I turn my neck.

[2434] I look at you like this.

[2435] I stand, this is how I look.

[2436] Whoa.

[2437] Like that?

[2438] That's so sexy.

[2439] Stunning.

[2440] I like to just turn my neck.

[2441] And I do it quick, too, like this.

[2442] I just saw some shit.

[2443] I'm definitely turning my torso.

[2444] Don't stand straight.

[2445] Create some space in your posture by keeping your hand on your waist.

[2446] Oh, yeah.

[2447] Et cetera.

[2448] Look how skinny she looks.

[2449] Interesting.

[2450] I think the girl on the right looks great.

[2451] That's a good one.

[2452] I'll find an issue with that.

[2453] Okay.

[2454] Fingers should be properly visible when you place your hands on the waist.

[2455] Don't hide your hands.

[2456] Show your hand.

[2457] Does that make you look better?

[2458] No. The girl on the left just looks fucking better, stupid.

[2459] The girl on the left is hot as the sun.

[2460] Nobody gives a fuck if she even has hands.

[2461] Cross your legs or standing in a way that will make them look angular and create space in the posture of the lower body.

[2462] Uh -huh.

[2463] That girl needs a sandwich.

[2464] I'm not into that.

[2465] Always lean towards the camera instead of away from it.

[2466] Yeah, that's what I do.

[2467] I lean towards the camera.

[2468] I like, hello.

[2469] I take him like this.

[2470] All right, what are you trying to do?

[2471] This is like fucking rules.

[2472] They work.

[2473] Keep your arms away from your body when your arm is properly visible in the photo.

[2474] What?

[2475] Keep it not like this, but like this.

[2476] You don't want a terrible website.

[2477] You say it's terrible.

[2478] I'm getting great advice.

[2479] You fuck off, Jamie.

[2480] We're going to look amazing.

[2481] How about when you take selfies?

[2482] I can't get a good selfie for life depends on it.

[2483] Look at this.

[2484] Tilt your head forward to look a bit to look sharp and slimmer.

[2485] That's true.

[2486] I want to look sharp.

[2487] Dude, how about sharp?

[2488] Oh, that's good.

[2489] Look sharp.

[2490] How about this?

[2491] Now just show me your ass at the same time and you got something.

[2492] It's like you.

[2493] Yoga.

[2494] You're doing yoga at the same time.

[2495] Yeah.

[2496] Don't slouch and sit, but create angles when you're sitting.

[2497] It's all about angles.

[2498] Look at that girl's back.

[2499] How is she even doing that?

[2500] It's all about angles.

[2501] She's like the exorcist.

[2502] I should have been doing this during the podcast the whole time.

[2503] What's the next one?

[2504] Don't sprawl your legs while sitting on the ground.

[2505] Oh, see, so she touches the knees together.

[2506] Don't spraw.

[2507] Don't sprawl your legs.

[2508] Listen, honey, you can do whatever you want.

[2509] We're trying to take a picture of you.

[2510] Go back to that.

[2511] We didn't say to that girl's beautiful.

[2512] She can do whatever the fuck she wants with her legs.

[2513] No one's going to complain.

[2514] She can have them legs like fully spread wide.

[2515] And people like, hey, you want to get some coffee or something?

[2516] Do you want to take over my company?

[2517] Lower your forehead a bit.

[2518] And make up your mind.

[2519] Do I lean forward?

[2520] Lower your forehead.

[2521] Then I'm not leaning forward anymore.

[2522] Oh, right.

[2523] Look up a little.

[2524] to make your eyes look even bigger and more expressive.

[2525] Oh.

[2526] Okay, no. That girl's hot as fuck.

[2527] This is preposterous.

[2528] That girl would look hot no matter what she did.

[2529] Yeah, just be hotter.

[2530] Yeah, be hotter.

[2531] Always put weight on the back leg while posing and hence.

[2532] Oh, and hence, creating an angular pose.

[2533] Enhance.

[2534] That girl's like, but she looks like she's saying, what the fuck did you ask me to do?

[2535] Okay, what?

[2536] What did you say?

[2537] Not part of my job description.

[2538] That is not what I was hired for.

[2539] And I'm barefoot.

[2540] For fucking some strange reason.

[2541] I'm barefoot and angry looking.

[2542] What did you say, white man?

[2543] You white motherfucker.

[2544] I was reading a thing yesterday that had sleep patterns of successful people.

[2545] Richard Branson, Bill Gates, people like that.

[2546] Obama.

[2547] Most of them, six hours of sleep.

[2548] night.

[2549] Most between like the 12, 1 o 'clock to like 6, 7 o 'clock in the morning.

[2550] I think there's a balance between productivity and health.

[2551] And if you want to get more done, I would say that's probably the way to go.

[2552] But I don't think those people are pillars of health.

[2553] For fitness and people who exercise really hard and really attacks your body.

[2554] You need more?

[2555] I think you need 8.

[2556] You need 8?

[2557] I do 8.

[2558] You do 8?

[2559] I feel way better when I get 8.

[2560] Yeah, 6 does not seem like a lot.

[2561] Is this all the different people?

[2562] Nicola Tesla got two.

[2563] Yeah, but he's too busy banging pigeons.

[2564] He was crazy.

[2565] He was banging pigeon?

[2566] He was a super genius who was in love with a pigeon.

[2567] What?

[2568] Yeah.

[2569] I never heard that.

[2570] He had a love affair with a pigeon.

[2571] Winston Churchill got like 100 hours of sleep in night.

[2572] Da Vinci.

[2573] He was just drunk all the time.

[2574] Are those dots mean hours?

[2575] Yeah, that's when they slept.

[2576] So he slept every four hours, like a 20 -minute nap.

[2577] Thomas Edison did something similar to.

[2578] Da Vinci did that?

[2579] Yeah, those little blue lines are when they were sleeping over the day.

[2580] That's crazy And Winston Churchill Just slept like a bear Because he was drunk He drank like crazy Richard Branson seems like he's getting Does that say six?

[2581] Six Yeah 12 to 6 That sounds kind of reasonable Yeah that's reasonable But six is early to get up for me Well if he's one of those Get shit done Donald Trump Three hours One to four One to four Come on that's not real That can't be true Is that real but he's on speed one to four that was the speculation about Trump from an article that was posted a while back was that he had a prescription for amphetamines in like the 90s that someone had prescribed and see where you could find that Trump prescribed speed for diet and he stayed on it for like eight years really yeah it's been my understanding when you talk to people that love Adderall and those sort of things that you become incredibly productive when you're on that stuff and if you're one of those people that gets used to being incredibly productive on that stuff like eliminating that is very hard yeah see 1993 Harry hunts unauthorized biography on Trump lost tycoon corroborated the rumors and went one step further the diet drugs which Trump took in pill form not only curved his appetite but gave him a feeling of euphoria and unlimited energy.

[2582] The medical literature warned that some potentially dangerous side effect could result from long -term usage.

[2583] They included anxiety, insomnia, and delusions of grandeur.

[2584] What?

[2585] According to several Trump organization insiders, Donald exhibited all these ominous symptoms of diet drug use and then some.

[2586] The supposed drug Trump took back then was tenuit dospan, a drug with speed -like effects.

[2587] unlike dexidrine.

[2588] These rumors say Trump stopped seeing Dr. Greenberg decades ago, but according to one source, to our source, that Donald Trump of today is on a diet drug called Phentermine, and has been since at least April of 2014.

[2589] He does not look like he's on a diet.

[2590] Fenn -Fenn -Fent.

[2591] He's on Fentermine.

[2592] Fentermine first gained notoriety in the U .S. under the name Fentermine, a miracle combination of Phentermine and fenfluramine, another established anti -obesity drug.

[2593] The only problem was that patients taking the drug began reporting damage to their hearts and lungs.

[2594] Apparently, the combination destroyed patients' bodies' ability to regulate the amount of serotonin.

[2595] Phentermine, on its own, however, is still prescribed, and while the U .S. National Library of Medicine notes that most people take fentamine for a month or so at a time, since the drug is addictive, Trump has supposedly been taking continuously for over two years.

[2596] Well, listen, when people get used to taking pills and speed in particular, they get used to that ramped up life.

[2597] You can't.

[2598] They can't.

[2599] It's very hard.

[2600] It's just very hard to just go cold turkey and be that guy who's just dull now.

[2601] Yeah, right.

[2602] Think about how much energy he had while he was on the campaign trail.

[2603] like constantly speaking could never shut the fuck up it was really impressive i mean he was non -stop right 72 year old man 73 doesn't it make sense yeah absolutely yeah Hillary was falling over i know and Hillary was on stuff too she was on uh pro vigil what's that pro vigil is a drug that was first invented they were trying to make a drug that was actually a performance enhancing drug and then they had to come up with a reason for taking it yeah Because you can't just say, hey, we made a pharmaceutical drug that enhances your energy levels.

[2604] So they came up with narcolepsy.

[2605] Oh, really?

[2606] Yeah.

[2607] I've taken it.

[2608] Oh, yeah?

[2609] Yeah, it's great if you have to drive somewhere and you're tired.

[2610] Because it doesn't make you speedy.

[2611] And I don't think it makes you any smarter or faster thinking or anything like that, but it definitely keeps you awake.

[2612] It gives you, like, a little elevated sense of energy.

[2613] Oh, yeah.

[2614] It doesn't sound so bad.

[2615] I mean, you'd have to take something to keep up those.

[2616] I mean, you know, from just touring and stuff.

[2617] Oh, yeah.

[2618] What that takes out of you.

[2619] Watch how they just were nonstop.

[2620] And he was probably on diet pills.

[2621] Right.

[2622] And not getting skinnier.

[2623] I knew a gal gone on that fen -fen stuff.

[2624] Oh, yeah?

[2625] Yeah, back in the 90s.

[2626] She was beautiful, but she was chubby.

[2627] She just had a bad diet and, you know, just like the booze.

[2628] And she's probably 20 -something or something, I know.

[2629] And got on the fen -fen, and I hadn't seen her in forever.

[2630] I hadn't seen her in probably like a year.

[2631] And then I ran into her, and I was like, holy shit.

[2632] Like, what happened to you?

[2633] Lost weight.

[2634] All of a sudden, she was, like, 120 pounds and slim and gorgeous.

[2635] And I was like, that is crazy.

[2636] So it works.

[2637] Yeah, but then it started fucking with her.

[2638] And, like, messing her body up and, you know, like, heart palpitations and shit.

[2639] And then, you know, a year later, she was bigger than ever.

[2640] Jeez.

[2641] Well, I mean, if you think about, like, taking an ibuprofen, like, if that messes you up, these drugs, the impact is huge.

[2642] Oh, yeah, man. Huge.

[2643] Well, I know so many people that are on Adderall.

[2644] Yeah, I was just going to say, have you ever tried Adderall?

[2645] Never.

[2646] Me neither.

[2647] I'm scared of it, but I want to.

[2648] I know, me too.

[2649] Want to try it.

[2650] Jamie's going to bring in something for me. You take it?

[2651] No, no, I've...

[2652] It's a dealer.

[2653] May or may not.

[2654] You sell it to children?

[2655] No. What?

[2656] I got a pill from a friend of mine that I wanted to think I never even used it.

[2657] Oh.

[2658] And I still just have it.

[2659] Yeah.

[2660] Now, all this stuff really works.

[2661] Of course.

[2662] You ever take an Ambien?

[2663] No. I sleep easy.

[2664] I do, too.

[2665] I got no problem sleeping.

[2666] I was doing a show in the Middle East once, and my doctor gave me Ambien.

[2667] He's like, if you need help adjusting your time, I didn't ask for it.

[2668] He just gave it to me. And I don't really take anything, really, but I took it.

[2669] It was, I mean, it just works.

[2670] You're just, like, pretty awake, and then you just feel sleep just kind of calming over you, like an ocean wave.

[2671] And it just, I mean.

[2672] How'd you feel when you woke up?

[2673] Not good.

[2674] A little druggie.

[2675] Yeah, fuck.

[2676] Yeah, it wasn't like I woke up, like, oh, I'm good to go.

[2677] I'd rather be kind of tired and then just go to the gym.

[2678] Yes, exactly.

[2679] I'm just not into that drugged up feeling.

[2680] No, it's all, because then it becomes a whole cat and mouse trying to adjust it.

[2681] I had a buddy who was going, I had a buddy who was going through a divorce and couldn't sleep at all, so he was taking two of those fucking things in night.

[2682] And everybody was urging them, they were like, hey, man, don't take that much.

[2683] Yeah.

[2684] Like, this is this stuff is not good for you.

[2685] I'm always afraid you won't be able to, yeah, you're not going to be able to sleep.

[2686] Yeah, you're not going to be able to sleep.

[2687] normally or you don't wake up yeah yeah take it and night night choke in the middle of night and just oh geez you're in the middle of some crazy dream about being in a gunfight with the cops that's the thing about ambient people uh do things in their sleep yeah like go buy ice cream i had a bit about it in my act about a friend of mine who made a turkey he got up in the middle of the preheated the oven went to the store bought a turkey came home made stuffing mashed potatoes and gravy cooked it ate it went back to sleep got up in the morning and called the police someone broke in my house and made a turkey they're like what the fuck is wrong with you fat piece of shit like you need to come to grips with your food problem it's a real story it's a real story and he didn't remember doing any of it no he made a turkey He went to the store, dude Yeah, like He bought a turkey Dealt with someone at the register He bought a fucking turkey Drove his car Oh my God This is so crazy Yeah People are weird man I'm surprised no one's like Killed someone on it They have They have Yeah yeah yeah People have Yeah people have Yeah people have And there was one guy Who Jesus He I want to say He killed someone In his family With a crowbar Oh boy There was like some crazy story Where he was on Ambien and he drove to someone's house and killed him with a crowbar and then drove home I had no idea you even did it oh my god well people react to different things in different ways you can never predict exactly how someone's going to react to like heavy duty pharmaceuticals that's what I was worried about I'm like I'm not taking this on the flight I don't know who knows what I'm going to do freak out in the middle of the fucking ocean no how high a bar way Just wake up in prison.

[2688] You don't know why.

[2689] How did I get here?

[2690] You know what you did.

[2691] I don't.

[2692] Having to watch the video of you trying to hump some businessman.

[2693] With a fucking cat in the hat hat on, beating someone to death with a nine iron.

[2694] Pushing the drink cart.

[2695] Going, trying to get at the pilot.

[2696] Oh, my God.

[2697] Pretending to fly.

[2698] Oh, a nightmare.

[2699] Ambien hasn't been around that.

[2700] long right like this is 2013 i was trying to look up there's something called the homicidal sleepwalking defense that's been used at least since 1987 she looks like it goes back farther than that here's the wikipedia on it wow sleepwalking defense hmm wow homicidal som somnambolism but no no no or sleepwalking sleepwalking murder the act of killing someone during an episode of sleepwalking.

[2701] Oh, man. See, that's the thing.

[2702] Like, if you were going to kill somebody, wouldn't you be like, yeah, I'm fucking sleeping.

[2703] He was acquitted of killing the murder of his mother -in -law in 1987 after using the sleepwalking defense.

[2704] Now, let me just pause right there.

[2705] I would love to believe this man. However, I have a wonderful mother -in -law.

[2706] She's a lovely lady.

[2707] But I have friends whose mother -in -laws are straight cunts.

[2708] It's a real thing.

[2709] It's a real thing.

[2710] And it's just so convenient at this guy.

[2711] He didn't kill his children.

[2712] He didn't go drive to his buddy's house and kill his best friend.

[2713] What does it say there?

[2714] Reportedly got up from his bed, still asleep, and drove roughly 23 kilometers to his in -law's house, broke in, assaulted his father -in -law, Dennis Wood, and stabbed his mother -in -law to death.

[2715] Wow.

[2716] Wow.

[2717] Good on you.

[2718] After all this, he managed to drive himself to the police station, aside from a few isolated events the next thing he could recall was being in the police station asking for help saying i think i've killed some people my hands whoa wow well that's what i would do too yeah go pretend you've got to plan this out yeah something a blue up for you i don't know what it was i'm crazy but you guys got to help me yeah like if you know for sure you're going to kill them like there's no way i can not kill this person i need a fucking rock solid excuse yeah what is this nambolambolism Manah, man, and then he had wonderful thanksgivings ever since then.

[2719] Oh, man, to stay married after that?

[2720] How's that work?

[2721] Yeah, probably.

[2722] She probably quietly is grateful.

[2723] Yeah, the dad pulls your side and slips your twine.

[2724] Better you than me, brother.

[2725] Better you than me. Some people do have weird sleepwalking things, though.

[2726] Sleepwalking is a weird thing.

[2727] Did you?

[2728] Mm -hmm.

[2729] like around kindergarten I would come out into like the living room just screaming and crying whoa and not have any recollection no no I did have recurring nightmares that I remember what were there the one very clear one was it was a blackness you know sometimes when you're sleeping you can feel the blackness the space was just very big and you felt very small in it, and there would be rumbling.

[2730] And it would build bum -bum -bum -bum -bum -bum -bomb -bomb -bomb -bordy.

[2731] And I would feel kind of pulled back a little bit in it.

[2732] No, I'm doing it silent.

[2733] Okay.

[2734] And then the turrets of two tanks would slowly come into the periphery on the left and the right and you see like the gun of the tank and the tanks would slowly start going towards each other from the left and the right and then they would fall down this hole and you'd get that feeling of falling and then sometimes I'd see the face of my father sometimes I have dreams of falling off of things yeah what's that supposed to mean That means that you're going to get money.

[2735] Powerful.

[2736] Is that good?

[2737] Sometimes I do, though.

[2738] Sometimes I have dreams where I'm like catching myself, like I'm on a tree.

[2739] Like, oh, Jesus, too high up this tree.

[2740] Hang on.

[2741] Yeah.

[2742] What am I doing on the edge of this building?

[2743] What am I doing on the cliff?

[2744] Get back to the safe spot.

[2745] Get back to the safe spot.

[2746] So I wouldn't connect the dream to the sleepwalking, but...

[2747] What do you think it is?

[2748] I mean, I don't know.

[2749] It could have been connected.

[2750] Come on, dude.

[2751] You're a doctor.

[2752] I remember one time I was at my friend sleeping over my friend's house, and the next morning they were like, Tommy can't sleep here anymore because I did it at their house, where they were just asleep, and then you got some kids screaming in the middle of the night, crying and screaming in the middle of the living room.

[2753] Yeah, but I've had kids do that at my house.

[2754] You have?

[2755] Yeah.

[2756] You pick them up, and you go, you okay?

[2757] Yeah, well, then...

[2758] You bring them to the bed.

[2759] You know, it's the one thing that once you have kids, too, man, it's so hard for people that...

[2760] I don't have kids to understand this, but, like, it's, when I, I've said this before, but when I was on planes before, I would be bummed out if a kid was crying.

[2761] Oh, fucking great.

[2762] This is a lot of fun.

[2763] Fucking loud, stupid kid.

[2764] Quiet your kid up.

[2765] Yep.

[2766] But now I'm like, ah, poor little kid.

[2767] Yeah.

[2768] Like, it doesn't, uh, you don't even hear it.

[2769] But it doesn't bother me. No. Like, like, I'm upset.

[2770] I can't sleep.

[2771] It's like, oh, poor little kid.

[2772] Yeah, once you...

[2773] You look your kids so different once you have them.

[2774] And the parents, you have empathy for the parents.

[2775] Like, you're like, oh, I've been there when you're going through that thing.

[2776] It's just so rough.

[2777] But it really is an instinct.

[2778] Like, there is no, like, when you hear a baby crying a plane, there's not that thing when you had when you were younger.

[2779] It's just like, get it out of here.

[2780] Yeah, that's a weird thing that people do have.

[2781] Like, I've seen it before where, like, young boys in particular do not like babies.

[2782] No. They don't like kids, and they're around them.

[2783] They're like, oh.

[2784] Yeah.

[2785] They'll roll their eyes, and it's like to them.

[2786] It's an instinct.

[2787] Yeah.

[2788] And then once you have them, you would just like.

[2789] But it's funny when you see like teenage boys around them.

[2790] Yeah.

[2791] Especially ones that haven't been raised around kids.

[2792] Maybe it's the instinct that they're going to have to.

[2793] One day take care of one of those.

[2794] Yeah.

[2795] Yeah.

[2796] And the party's going to end.

[2797] They're going to be trapped.

[2798] The party's going to end.

[2799] Isn't it?

[2800] It's funny because like there are these chapters.

[2801] It's like this is all coming full circle to what we're talking about with like Richard Branson on a boat getting his dick suck doing coke but here's the thing there's a cycle and if you hang in there long enough becomes cool again like if you're hammered and you're 20 and you're out there having a party it's kind of silly and it's fun but if you're hammered and you're 60 it's kind of sad yeah but if you're hammered and you're 90 it's funny again yeah absolutely he's gonna hang in there but if you're a 90 year old drunk I go how about you all just Suck my dick, which, by the way, apparently the latest in the sexual harassment Olympics, the latest entry is Stan Lee from Marvel Comics.

[2802] Really?

[2803] Yeah, he's 95 years old.

[2804] Yeah.

[2805] He lives in some giant mansion, and he has a bunch of nurses.

[2806] He's trying to get him all to blow him.

[2807] Of course.

[2808] Now, he says it's a shakedown.

[2809] He says they're all just trying to get money from them, which may very well be the case.

[2810] or it may well, very well, be the case that he is like a lot of 95 -year -old dudes with 20 million bucks in the bank in about six months to live.

[2811] Just getting it on.

[2812] What do you do?

[2813] You try, you go for it.

[2814] You swing those fucking dice.

[2815] Come on seven.

[2816] Woo!

[2817] Stanley.

[2818] If he really can, if you, you know, I mean, look, if you're worth, what, hold on, go back to that.

[2819] What does it say there?

[2820] Okay.

[2821] He bought someone, then it was revealed that someone had bought an $850 ,000 condo in his name without his knowledge.

[2822] Yeah, that was last week.

[2823] I don't know if you heard about that.

[2824] No, what happened?

[2825] He filed a police report after discovering that someone had stolen $300 ,000 from him.

[2826] Wow.

[2827] Using a forged check.

[2828] And then it was revealed that someone bought an $850 ,000 condo in his name without his knowledge.

[2829] What?

[2830] What?

[2831] When his team did a full audit of his accounts following the forged check, whether this is any way.

[2832] related okay this guy he might be he might be being honest this might be in reaction yeah the shakedown the shake down but this guy has so much money that someone bought an $850 ,000 condo in his name and he didn't learn about it until they were going over the books well he didn't yeah he didn't learn about it until they found a $300 ,000 stolen check yeah that's a baller yeah Stanley balling out of control Super hero.

[2833] Out there kicking some fucking ass.

[2834] Superhero!

[2835] Yeah, I'd like to think that he's not the guy who's trying to tell these maids to suck his dick.

[2836] Nah, I doubt it.

[2837] I like to think that.

[2838] Me too.

[2839] I want some heroes left.

[2840] A couple of those guys.

[2841] A few.

[2842] But hang in there, guys.

[2843] One more time.

[2844] Tom Papa, let's wrap this bitch up.

[2845] Let's bring it home.

[2846] Tell these people where are you going to be performing your one?

[2847] wonderful stand -up comedy.

[2848] I'm heading out on tour, Joe.

[2849] Where are you going, Tom?

[2850] I'm going to Raleigh, North Carolina.

[2851] Oh, you're going to Charlie Goodnights?

[2852] No, I'm playing a theater.

[2853] Oh, someone's hashtag bawling.

[2854] Duke something energy center or something.

[2855] The Duke fucking Energy Center.

[2856] Yeah.

[2857] And then I'm going to Viejo, California.

[2858] Where's that?

[2859] I'm going to...

[2860] I'm all over the place.

[2861] Where's Viejo?

[2862] I don't know north of here.

[2863] everything's north of here yeah they'll tell you how to go GPS yeah GPS but just go to tompapa .com all my dates are on there Tompapa dot com It's always a pleasure sir You too buddy You're always a wonderful guest I always enjoy this very much Me too I'm gonna come back I'll bring some fresh underpants So we'll go in the sauna We'll be back tomorrow With journalist Dan Harris And he's gonna get in the tank first He's got a meditation app And I guess a book Maybe just an app Nice He's wacky kids today I don't even read anymore all right we'll be back bye bye perfect just as I have to pee