#1220 - Joey Diaz

[0] Always act like there is.

[1] I assume there is.

[2] Yeah, always assume.

[3] Woo!

[4] Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen.

[5] Happy New Year, Merry Christmas.

[6] It's fucking on.

[7] You understand me. It's Christmas Eve.

[8] You thought it was going to be ho -hum?

[9] Fuck you.

[10] Uncle Joey, Joe Rogan here fucking live.

[11] Christmas Eve.

[12] Talking about bugs in your house and how easy it is for the feds.

[13] They don't need a bug your house anymore.

[14] They just use your phone.

[15] They just turn them up.

[16] Jamie, tell them what you were telling me about.

[17] that uh the AirPods oh yeah there's a there's a new setting on the uh on new uh operating system where your AirPods you turn on this thing called live listen and it's listening to the microphone on your iPhone so you can leave your phone in a room walk out and you can you just made your own bug but that means that anybody that can then access your phone could probably also listen if they have access to that i don't know how strong they've already said like if you talk to anybody that knows what's possible with electronics, they're gonna already turn your microphone on anytime they want.

[18] Bro, when I was a kid, I grew up in that bookmaking shit, and there were certain bookmakers that wouldn't talk in the room that there was a phone in the room.

[19] Smart ones.

[20] In the 70s.

[21] They would not talk, not on the phone, but if there was a phone in the room, they would leave the room.

[22] That's an icicle.

[23] These guys are super paranoid.

[24] They were 30 years ahead of that time.

[25] Well, you remember how they got Vince and the Chin.

[26] They started bugging car, along the way where he would walk he would walk with his bathrobe like he was crazy and he would give everybody instructions and he would do it on his walk so he couldn't get bugged anywhere so they started bugging the cars along his walk route that's how they got them and they get you at the mic yeah with the blonde of the same microphone they use in the NFL when you hear all those tackles and grunts in the old days they had I don't know that the parabolic mic takes vibrations from glass yeah so I could just point this laser at your glass with speakers on and they'll take whatever you're saying in a room and bounce it off the glass i've heard it there's a recording of it this isn't the fucking 80s so by now it's world yeah they can do well they're listening to everything anything anything anything and everything when i go on a bathroom on a plane you have to assume they're watching you like i used to go in there and do blast of coke i would always pull my pants down go through the whole process like i was shit and that wasn't really shit and I just always thought there was a camera there well you probably be correct I've heard things that are just horrid about Vegas in the 80s how they had cameras and rooms well Vegas in the 80s was all mob robots in Vegas and the bathrooms have cameras so as soon as you do a blast you come out within 10 minutes of cops around you when did they um when did the mob like officially get out of Vegas like what the mob is still in Vegas just in short spurts.

[27] It's crazy.

[28] I was in New York last week, and I realized how much construction was going on.

[29] And I thought to myself, how much of that is the mob still getting?

[30] They had a tax for years, 2%.

[31] So if that's a $300 million job, do the math on that.

[32] You make a big chunk on that.

[33] You know, Trump didn't get rich because the construction business is huge.

[34] And you in New York, you know, I can't give you accurate numbers because I don't know what numbers are.

[35] But look what the average is for a square foot of concrete in New York and look what the averages in Iowa.

[36] I was reading something about that.

[37] The square foot of concrete, to build a building in New York, it's insane.

[38] The concrete is fucking insane because so many hands are getting fucking greased.

[39] You know, you don't pay a job, okay?

[40] So you don't pay.

[41] It's like that one episode of this, a prime.

[42] So what I do is break your balls.

[43] You're a G .C. You don't want to pay me my money.

[44] That's fine.

[45] I send somebody from the union down there.

[46] And instead of me doing this, come on through.

[47] I got to stop you.

[48] I got to take your book.

[49] I got to call the union to see if you're paid up with your dues.

[50] We check your tire pressure.

[51] Let's count the windows on the truck.

[52] Pretty soon you got 30 trucks backed up.

[53] And you're not making any money.

[54] That's how they'd shake you down.

[55] That's the shake down.

[56] Oh, you pay me. Okay, the trucks go through.

[57] Don't weigh a one.

[58] What's on them?

[59] We don't care who the driver is.

[60] We don't care if he's union or non -union.

[61] It's such a dirty business at that level.

[62] That's the shakedown.

[63] So Trump would be the G .C. on the job.

[64] You pay?

[65] Your job runs smooth.

[66] You don't pay.

[67] So 2 % of it went to the mob, the concrete tax.

[68] Then they had like another 2 % right off the top.

[69] To bid rig.

[70] Bid rig.

[71] Bid rigging.

[72] bid rigging where we take we give it to Joe Rogan no matter what the price is we inflate the price even though Jamie comes in three million dollars cheaper I'm going to give Joe Rogan that three and two more Joe Rogan's going to kick that two to me and we're going to do the job but that three million dollar profit plus I'm going to take two percent off the top of that three million dollar profit you know when I noticed when I was a kid when I was working construction one of the first things I noticed it's one of the weird businesses that's run almost exclusively by men like manly men like the construction guys were burly dudes with big fucking hands they worked hard and they were like these were like rough guys but they were running a big business it's like all these other businesses if you think about businesses you think about like computers you don't think about like rugged burly guys but computers and construction are just as common like everybody needs a computer everybody needs a house like construction's everywhere it's a gigantic business and it's run at least in back in Boston when I was working as a laborer it was run by these big savages they're fucking big dangerous guys it's gotten more diverse now because the unions have made you hire more women when I was an electrician like three months in there was a few months in there was a female supervisor who knew her shit a dad you know right that was an electrician she was a kid that was a fucking day job and men had a tough time working for her I clicked with her she was easy she would leave me the fuck alone well sometimes men can't they just have a real hard time with a woman they would have a hard time me I didn't I didn't mind it at all I didn't give a fuck I liked her if someone's great at their job they're great at their job just got to give a fuck what the gender is It's a weird thing that a lot of guys have, right?

[73] You know, female trainers, female trainers.

[74] Yeah, yeah.

[75] A lot of people won't go for that.

[76] You know who's got a female trainer?

[77] Yo -L.

[78] Romero, one of the best motherfuckers of all time.

[79] What does she train him in?

[80] I don't know, man. Strength and conditioning.

[81] She was strengthened and conditioning training him in this video was watching.

[82] Busting his ass.

[83] Well, even like that.

[84] That guy's super savage, you know?

[85] Make sure I'm right about that.

[86] Make sure I'm right about that.

[87] Because if it's not Yoel, it's someone equally savage.

[88] Someone who's just a fucking super alpha.

[89] I mean, no one's a super alpha like, Yoel.

[90] When we had him in the podcast, I was looking at him sitting there.

[91] I was like, this guy is built.

[92] It's not even a real person.

[93] He's so jacked.

[94] I remember that night we both had spots at the store.

[95] And I pulled you aside and I go, what do you really think?

[96] What do you really think?

[97] I mean, is this guy shooting D -ball or is this something that just...

[98] I think it's genetics.

[99] I think he has super freak genetics.

[100] went to eat at i went to new york last week i purposely went to la sorrentina it's a restaurant northberg you know run by this new name jaco jesus christ the spaghetti with the tiny meatballs i couldn't even finish it but one of his waiters was a wrestler came over in a raft listened to the podcast and he was saying how he wasn't that good he was on the bottom floor he ate the scraps and he but he goes yeah i know you well from back there just last week think about the other super athletes that have come out of Cuba that have gotten into MMA and boxing okay Hector Lombard dude a lot of people they might look at Hector Lombard because of some of his tough fights that he had in the UFC later in his career but if you go back and watch Hector Lombard when he was running shit in Bellator those were probably his prime years he was the champion at Belator I mean fucking smashing people smashing people at a hundred And then he came over to the UFC He fought 185, but there's a big -ass 185s in the UFC, man I mean, Hectoris, what do you think?

[101] He's 5 '9?

[102] Really?

[103] No, he's not that tall.

[104] No, I think he's either my height or I'm 5 '8, he's either my height or he's an inch taller.

[105] But he's just so jacked.

[106] When he was smashing people, like earlier in his career, man, I always wanted to get him in the UFC.

[107] I was like, this guy needs to come over.

[108] He's so athletic, man. He would, and he's a judo player.

[109] I mean, look how fucking Jack Hector is.

[110] He's a, you know, he was a judo player for Cuba.

[111] But I'm telling you, man, you could tick all the steroids in the world.

[112] You're not going to move like this guy moves.

[113] Josh Lombard, uh, Josh Barnett, rather, told me that Hector Lombard when he went to the gym could just do muscle up after muscle up.

[114] He never even trained it before.

[115] You know, it's hot.

[116] Jamie will tell you, it's fucking.

[117] hard to do a muscle up.

[118] He just grabs that bar.

[119] He's a super athlete.

[120] He's just had a lot of really, really rough fights against the best fighters in the world.

[121] And I really think that some of his best fights, you can say like maybe he was tested more, and I think he certainly was, tested more here in the UFC than he was in Bellatory, certainly the caliber of competition is far greater.

[122] But I also think, you know, fighters have like a window of opportunity for the most part for most of them there's exceptions where they can extend that window but that window the the experts seem to think the windows around nine years this is not a number that I invented I don't think so but it's a number that I agree with in terms of like the best you have you might be able to do it for nine years like Fador the longevity of an NFL running back is three and a half years which blew my mind that's crazy that blew my mind then I started thinking about it I talk about all the greats I thought about Earl Campbell Jim Brown.

[123] I thought about those guys.

[124] I thought about their injuries.

[125] How lucky you have to be.

[126] Okay.

[127] Now, the UFC as a fighter, how many people actually did fight in the UFC for nine years straight so far?

[128] A lot.

[129] There's been quite a few.

[130] A lot.

[131] But at the same time, there's been a lot of guys that have had great potential.

[132] And by the fourth or fifth fight, they've moved on.

[133] Well, you know, everybody's different.

[134] There's a lot of, is this is the thing everybody's different in terms their ability to recuperate everybody's different in terms of their style like some guys just don't take much damage you know some like ben ascrant perfect example never fought in the UFC but when you watch him fight in these other organizations the thing that's most interesting is that it doesn't take any damage you could say he's boring if you want to I don't think it's boring I think it's super high level wrestling and you need to see how that shit would fly against the best in the world I mean that's why he's here now I'm very excited about this but he's a perfect example of, like, he doesn't have any problems.

[135] That guy's been fighting for a long time.

[136] You talk to him.

[137] He's as lucid as they come.

[138] He's articulate, very smart, very well educated, reads books all the time.

[139] He'll send me recommendations for books.

[140] Very, very interesting guy.

[141] So you got those guys who, like, he could do it for a long fucking time because he's not taking a beating.

[142] When you start taking a beating, man, phew, you know, sometimes guys try to get back in there too soon and they're still hurting, you know, from, a fight like a really bad knockout or just sometimes even just getting beaten up is worth you like even if you don't get stopped like you incur more damage that way you know for in a long -ass fight than you would in a quick chaos you know like um in glory you know Joseph Valtolini do you know what that kind of Azooka Joe he was their champion and he won the title against Mark DeMont after the fight couldn't fight again because concussions were so bad he couldn't look at The light from an iPhone charger, like a laptop charger, the little light from that thing would be blinding to him.

[143] He had to be like in a dark room for three weeks.

[144] CBD oil brought him out of it.

[145] When I think of fighters and what happens during a fight, I go back all the way to Bernard Hopkins against Felix Trinidad.

[146] Because you brought it up to my attention.

[147] I never even knew about that world.

[148] He never came back.

[149] Never was the fire.

[150] Who's the guy that one?

[151] went the distance that's now in Bellator, fights out of GSP's camp.

[152] Really tough guy.

[153] It went five rounds with fucking, what's his name?

[154] And Rory McDonald.

[155] Rory, yes.

[156] Rory, after that fight that he had, he was never really the same type of fight.

[157] The Robbie Lala fight.

[158] Fights affect you in different ways.

[159] The beating you take affects you in different ways.

[160] I want to see what the kid that Edson Barbosa fights with next time how he comes out he took a ferocious beating against Edgar Edson that last fight before Al Al -A -Kinta and Kevin Lee See but Rory I gotta disagree because after that fight he looked fucking phenomenal in Bellator in his first fight in Belator was it Paul Daly he fought but then the next fight he didn't do well Lima's a beast though dude he fought Lima's a beast Lima is a monster man Douglas Lima is a fucking fucking straight -up killer.

[161] You know, and in comedy sometimes.

[162] Was it Paul Daly?

[163] Yeah.

[164] So he manhandled Paul Daly.

[165] Right.

[166] He was a very smart fight because he fought really well on his feet first, threatened Daly a little bit on his feet, and then took him down and dominated him on the ground.

[167] And it was a very impressive win.

[168] But then he fought, see, fighting Musassi, I think, was probably not the, but you know, you never know.

[169] You got to test yourself.

[170] And there's only one way to do that.

[171] And he knows better than anybody.

[172] I mean, the guy's in it to test himself.

[173] Now he knows.

[174] that he can't beat Musassi, at least at this point in his life.

[175] Yeah, but he's a smart kid, Ben.

[176] He's an animal, too.

[177] I mean, that guy is so focused.

[178] No, I'm not saying anything.

[179] I just thought that a lot of times after battles, people don't come back the same.

[180] I agree on some of them, but I don't agree with him.

[181] The guy from Texas that took GSP to the fucking zoo and fought him away.

[182] Yeah.

[183] He never came.

[184] You know, some people give it all you got.

[185] Yep.

[186] That give it all you got moment.

[187] It's how to react after that.

[188] what's going to happen?

[189] How is Kevin Lee going to come back?

[190] Yeah.

[191] Against Hyacquint.

[192] You always have those questions, which is a great fight, by the way.

[193] Amazing fight.

[194] You know, the fight I was most excited about this weekend was Michael Chiasa, Carlos Conduit.

[195] Right.

[196] Let's see what Carlos Condo.

[197] You know, Carlos Condu had been around for a long fucking time.

[198] This name is Condit, but...

[199] Condit.

[200] He knows I'm his brother and I'm one of his biggest fans.

[201] And if I was in the mafia, I'd hire him from the UFC a long time ago.

[202] because he's an assassin.

[203] He's like a real -life John Wick.

[204] You just give him a gun with a silencer and a pencil and let him do the rest.

[205] Go down there.

[206] You could switch his mind quick with $600 ,000 a week.

[207] I want to say that his UFC, was it his debut against Brock Larsen?

[208] Was that his debut or was that in the WEC?

[209] I feel like that was in the WEC.

[210] I feel like his debut was against shit.

[211] Uh, was it Jake?

[212] Martin Kampman was his debut?

[213] That's what I thought.

[214] Okay.

[215] In Nashville.

[216] They fought in Nashville.

[217] But you fought Jake Ellenberger, too, right?

[218] Jake Ellenberger.

[219] Oh, that was Jake Ellenberger's first fight in the UFC.

[220] Yeah.

[221] Dude, Jake Ellenberg was another one, man. Super fucking dangerous for a long time, man. You ever see before he fought in the UFC when he knocked out Pele with one punch?

[222] Okay.

[223] He caught a beat in my office.

[224] About three weeks ago.

[225] He came into my office.

[226] He's the nicest guy.

[227] I heard you.

[228] Jake Ellenberg.

[229] I gave him a bong hit of the shit.

[230] That was 31%.

[231] He couldn't answer questions.

[232] Dog, it was like fucking, he's the best.

[233] The poor bastard.

[234] He didn't know how to drive home.

[235] Yeah, folks.

[236] Uber was not around.

[237] Rocker was not around.

[238] It would have broke their system for a week.

[239] If you think Brock Lesner's system disappeared in the fucking system, whatever, oh my God, poor Jake Ellenberg.

[240] We took him deep.

[241] seen it but I've heard he told me he goes you know I don't smoke much I go and do a little bung hit and I asked him a question after that he was just frustrated I love him to death he's coming back on to redeem himself himself and said he's never smoking again but that was as tough as battle yeah you can't that's too much most people can't that's a three -foot bomb well not only that Joey for most people that don't do podcasts all the time getting on your podcast is a mind fuck like I can't believe I'm here I'm sitting here with Uncle Joey holy shit and then boom that 30 how many percent 31 that's so high this is alien oh gee this is in just as a for people that don't know the numbers let's find out what the numbers actually are like what was what percentage THC was marijuana in the 1970s I want to say it was like 8 to 10 probably and then we I'm just guessing it's so funny how okay I grew up I grew up and I up in New York, New Jersey.

[242] So I would go to Harlem.

[243] And what we had available to us was Panama Red, Colombian gold.

[244] I could be verse of verse.

[245] I could be wrong on the names.

[246] And then you had from Jamaica, you had this weed called lambs bread.

[247] And then all of a sudden, in the 80s, this green weed came along.

[248] And they called it Sinsomea.

[249] So I was Coppola on 148th Street then.

[250] And he would either sell you chocolate tie, which is lamb's bread or he would sell your sense of me or he would put them together and call it the master mix and if you bought 10 bags of the master mix you got one for free he gave you a punch card this is why narcos make you a real punch card yeah 19 fucking 80 to 82 83 the guy was the middle of the corner hanging out and the funny thing was I went back in 85 and he looked me straight in the face and he's like they ain't no motherfucking weed on this block no more dog crack Like it had just converted to crack.

[251] But this is why watching, I told you that, watching that Narcos, Mexico, those first two episodes, is so important because it's like sometimes when you watch a TV show, it's really hard to believe that one day some Spanish guy that couldn't even speak English said, hey, how come there's not three cameras here?

[252] His name is fucking loose Desi Arnaz.

[253] Desi Arnaz invented the three camera shoot.

[254] Did you know that?

[255] That's hilarious.

[256] That Desi Lou Productions, all that shit.

[257] He invented that?

[258] He's the one that said, why is there two white people sitting around?

[259] Get two more cameras.

[260] Let's go.

[261] On the lay.

[262] The guy that, the principal guy in Narcos this year is a character who grew weed in the desert.

[263] I want you to think about that.

[264] I've never been even thought of before.

[265] But by doing that, I don't know the science, so please Joe Rogan people don't torture me. He eliminated the male plant to make the female strutely.

[266] The only way you can grow that is in the desert.

[267] So you found water in the desert.

[268] Why is it the only way you can grow in the desert?

[269] Something about the climate?

[270] So that it's like the immaculate conception.

[271] You get pregnant without getting pregnant, so you eliminate the male plants or something.

[272] I do not know this.

[273] You have to watch it.

[274] Right?

[275] We have to hide this information from women.

[276] So there's no seeds, and the reefer gets stronger.

[277] that started in the 80s that's why if you watch Narcos Mexico it shows you how that whole thing started and they were pumping 15 metric tons a year into the United States of this shit so green weed became the Mexican green weed was what we started smoking I gotta say that average was maybe 15 then like the strongest and then there's weeds now that I buy that 21 % of that they take me to the fucking mountain but that 28 on a above and a bong you're doomed yeah you're stuttering you're mumbling you're fucking can't focus i like that feeling at night when i listen to music i'm a big music like when not i called you like it was like october 3rd and i was gonna call you to tell you that i'd love to participate in sober october but because of my love for music it's not gonna happen because my thing is to go home and night or sometimes i go to the office like i told you my house is dead at 20 to 9 The kid goes to bed at fucking 8 .30, and my wife's in bed 10 minutes later.

[278] So sometimes I don't have a spot on a podcast.

[279] I just go to my office.

[280] I bring a notebook on an iPad, and I get stoned.

[281] And I put an old album on, and I go down an album road, and I just get fucked up and listen to that music.

[282] I love it, Joe Roke.

[283] That's my hobby.

[284] And once a week I go to the album store, and I buy a new album, a new vinyl album.

[285] Lately, I went down that lads up on Two Road.

[286] That's one of the greatest, dirtiest, filthiest albums.

[287] It opens up with a whole lot of love.

[288] It's just dirty.

[289] And then a lemon song.

[290] And then The Heartbreaker, it's just dirty.

[291] Damn.

[292] And then I've been listening to fucking physical graffiti.

[293] I love going into those foxholes laying at night stone to the gills.

[294] Yeah, there's something about that music.

[295] They were the first drug culture.

[296] music in America, right?

[297] If you think about it, like Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, the Beatles showed up clean.

[298] Then they went to India, they grew longhand, they came back with those four albums, then there was rumors of acid.

[299] If you listen to the, you know, one, I think it's revolved, one of those, John Lennon spreads acid, but move on, then that was it after that.

[300] I mean, there's a lot of musicians from that era that are great that aren't associated with drugs but if you think of hendricks if you think of i mean hendricks was always associated with drugs janus joplin always associated with drugs you know good or bad it's it's very interesting it's very interesting the sound is so it lasts like it's so relevant if you listen to some zeppelin today it's still so god damn good they were so good so good they were so good there's a song on zeppelin too called Bringing On Home at the end.

[301] He comes out, like, with a harmonica slow, then Jimmy Page kicks in with the guitar.

[302] Your heart stops.

[303] Yeah.

[304] Like, your heart stops.

[305] Like, do I jump out of window?

[306] Like, Led Zeppelin, too, there's a couple of albums I got in that office that I put on that's such a part of my childhood.

[307] Like, I think about my mom coming in the room, saying, yelling, lower that fucking devil music.

[308] You know what I'm saying?

[309] Like, buy some music, a go on it.

[310] And I would blast it at fucking six in the morning.

[311] The neighbors next door with Jehovah Witnesses.

[312] And he would knock on my door.

[313] You have to please lower your music.

[314] I never lowered it.

[315] At that age, I had efficient stereo.

[316] Okay, and I really knew not to get components.

[317] Like, I was already hip.

[318] Like, I never bought the album with the A -track and the cassette.

[319] Fuck you.

[320] I bought an amp, and I bought a cassette deck, and I had a turntable, and I would fucking blast it.

[321] I don't know where I got the speakers from my bottom.

[322] They fell off a truck.

[323] I love music loud.

[324] My mom, I stir them, every time, until this day, every time Led Zeppelin's final album comes out, you know, in through the outdoor, comes on the radio or something.

[325] I think of my mother banging on the door a freshman year going.

[326] If I got to knock on this door one more time, I'm throwing that stereo out the window.

[327] Like seven in the morning.

[328] I had it at full fucking speed.

[329] Roll the joint, getting ready to walk up the hill, smoking a joint.

[330] I wouldn't smoke at the house.

[331] Nothing like that.

[332] She had no idea.

[333] Were you playing an album album, were the record player?

[334] Yeah.

[335] Fuck it.

[336] I still do it.

[337] Did you have a good needle?

[338] Remember you would go over dudes' houses?

[339] They had a special needle.

[340] I had a good needle.

[341] I just went and got new needles.

[342] I had to order them online.

[343] Do you remember that, though?

[344] Fuck, yeah.

[345] You'd be impressed if a guy had a fucking, cool looking needle.

[346] I remember.

[347] I had a friend that had a reel to reel.

[348] Jimmy, do you actually remember this?

[349] Yeah, I mean, I had a record player at my house.

[350] For sure.

[351] Wow.

[352] You had a reel -to -reel?

[353] A friend of mine had a reel -to -reel in high school.

[354] Oh, my God.

[355] And the sound.

[356] He bought the speakers and everything.

[357] And the sound, you could hear like the musician pulling away from the microphone.

[358] Like, this sound was that good.

[359] So when he's playing this reel -to -reel, he's got like a projector screen -type deal?

[360] No, he would have a. He had a room like this, and he had a shelf, and on the shelf he had speakers, and he had a reel -to -reel.

[361] I don't think I've seen that in forever.

[362] And it would have two or three hours of music on it.

[363] So whenever he would have a party, he would just put on the reel -to -reel.

[364] At that time, that was the threat, that it's going to reel -to -reel.

[365] That's what I'm talking about.

[366] That's like a projector, right?

[367] It's going to reel -to -reel.

[368] That's the new threat.

[369] That never made it.

[370] And then it went from albums to cassettes to fucking CDs.

[371] So if you put something through that, you would have to kind of like do it like you were working in a projection room?

[372] You take the film from one of them.

[373] It works almost, it's just really large cassette tape player.

[374] I just forget how he put the music on there.

[375] I forget how he put the music on that.

[376] Could you buy music on it?

[377] I think so at that time.

[378] There's a record button on this too, it looks like.

[379] So you could have recorded something on there if you had a cable to plug it in.

[380] to it yeah i forget how would they make copies uh the same way you put your original would be like on the left you'd have to feed you did you need a copier you couldn't do it with this machine probably but back the same way people did with vCR copies back in the early 80s you know oh right tape to tape is it the same thing how it would degrade like with each generation you'd get porns from your friend and it was like like someone threw mud in your eye when you try to watch it the fuck is happening on the screen because it was so many generations of copies you know Do you remember when porn was watched like this?

[381] I don't remember, but I heard about it.

[382] And I remember that movie about the dude from Hogan's Heroes.

[383] That was a, he was on Hogan's Heroes and after Hogan's Heroes, he just went around making his own homemade porn.

[384] And he, you know, he had one of these kind of things, on a home projector type deals.

[385] Porn came, porn in those days, if you went to the back of a dirty magazine, not Playboy and not Penthouse, but anything else.

[386] They would actually send you a projector with three movies for, say, 1495.

[387] It was a low -end projector.

[388] It was probably going to work 10 times, but at least you got to watch porn.

[389] And they'd send you a reel -to -reel.

[390] That was so bad.

[391] Porn was so bad.

[392] And I still remember a story with me and my friends.

[393] chipping in and getting the fucking reel -to -reel with the thing and plugging it in the wall and putting sheets on the windows and it was just horrible horrible porn like chicks they would find off the streets flapjack titty somebody turned cigarettes off on the chest and this chick was half on drugs and she had to suck the guy's dick and the most vivid picture i remember is when she took the mayonnaise with the bread like she was sucking this guy's dick the guy's dick had been beat up and she took mayonnaise miracle whip that's why I never liked miracle whip she put it on the bread and made a dick sandwich and put it into his dick and it was like me and three other 12 year olds dog we almost had a heart attack if you understand me like our heads blew up like turn it off turn it off turn it off turn it off turn it off turn it off turn it on who wants this fucking projector Like that?

[394] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was a cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap little projector.

[395] You had to put a sheet up on the wall and use it as a screen.

[396] You had to fucking shade up all your windows in the attic because I used to do it in my attic because my mother wasn't home.

[397] So the first viewing party we had was in my attic.

[398] You had to send the money order.

[399] And you had to send a dollar 95 for shipping and handling, SNH.

[400] and then it would take six weeks to delivery so you would just sit you couldn't send it to your house so I would have to send it to Rogan's house because I knew his mother and his grandmother worked all day so they'd never be home so they would just drop the package off in front of your house if one of our mothers found that package we'd be dead we'd be fucking dead can you mind your mother putting it in a and all said some chick makes with smiric boy put a piece of bread and eats into the fucking your dick You'd think moms today probably wouldn't even flinch.

[401] What, if what?

[402] If they found their kid with something like that on his computer?

[403] Are you fucking kidding me?

[404] Every mom, you talk to any mom who are a 15 -year -old and go, do you think your son's getting late?

[405] She's like, stop it.

[406] I don't want to hear that.

[407] That's true.

[408] No mom wants to hear their son getting laid.

[409] The first girl you brought over the house actually bothered your mother.

[410] Oh, I'm sure.

[411] The first two girls you brought home actually bothered and irritated.

[412] the shit out of your mother.

[413] It took your mom a while because you're always going to be that little boy.

[414] I can't imagine him getting his dick sucked.

[415] I just put diapers on him 10 years ago.

[416] You know what else they worry about?

[417] They worry about you getting somebody pregnant because you're so stupid.

[418] When you're 15, 16, 17, you guys are just doing stupid shit.

[419] You know, you don't really know how to pull out that good.

[420] How good are you at that?

[421] It's not very good.

[422] You know, when you were that young, I mean, it's, your parents are worried about you doing something dumb.

[423] Your parents are worried about you, getting pregnant.

[424] But they also don't want you having sex.

[425] I had the skinny girlfriend.

[426] Like, I always had girls that were friends.

[427] And after the girls would leave, my mom would pull me aside and said, what's going on?

[428] I go, nothing.

[429] You know, she's just a friend.

[430] And I would have stream out of the house.

[431] I can't believe it.

[432] You know, and they were friends.

[433] But there was this one skinny girl that I used to bring.

[434] over in the seventh grade and my mother caught us one afternoon like she caught us making out so she asked me as a man she goes from now on do me a fucking favor if she's here and I'm downstairs just leave the door open my mom was one of those dog she was one of those just do me a favor just for me in the middle of these times when I leave I lock the door but if I'm here just leave the door and I would leave it open the foot and then try this eight inch six inch and she would have to come up and say, oh, Antonio, what did I tell you?

[435] Leave the fucking door open.

[436] And then you're an animal at that age.

[437] So at that age, you finally talk a mental image.

[438] Because all I was doing was dry -humping this girl.

[439] That's all I was doing.

[440] We weren't having sex.

[441] I think I sucked the tits one time.

[442] You know, we weren't having sex.

[443] We were just making out and dry -humping.

[444] But one day, my mom had the bar stow.

[445] And she would just fucking come home in the afternoons to see if I was at this broad.

[446] And one dad didn't hear her, and she brought one of our friends up for me, one of our friends with her.

[447] And I'm in there just swap and spit with the chick, but I hear something on the wall.

[448] Like something's going on.

[449] But I kept dry humping it.

[450] We had earth -winning fire on.

[451] Can I hide love.

[452] Great fucking hour.

[453] That's the way of the world.

[454] I'm dry -humping this chick to death.

[455] And all of a sudden I hear a ladder slip.

[456] And a guy starts yelling.

[457] and I ran downstairs.

[458] There was one of my mother's friends, Arnardo.

[459] He used to be a bookie at my mother's ball.

[460] So my mother goes, I've got to get to the bottom of this.

[461] I got to know what this kid's getting laid.

[462] So he volunteers to put the ladder at the side of the house to see if I'm getting laid to look in the window.

[463] Oh, my God.

[464] I had an air conditioner with a curtain.

[465] He could never see in anyway.

[466] But this girl pissed off my mom for years.

[467] This went on for about a year.

[468] And then I started taking his shirt off and suck in the tits.

[469] And my dad came home when they called him in the closet.

[470] And that was the end.

[471] And then my mom would give me shit for a little while.

[472] I got to be 12, 13.

[473] I'm in the sixth grade.

[474] Me and this girl would watch the Osmond's on Friday and Saturday.

[475] Donnie and Marie.

[476] And I would get pissed off because she had a crush on.

[477] I'm fucking Donnie.

[478] You know, you're a kid.

[479] And then one day But then we figured out, fuck If they're going to watch this after three Why don't we play hooky from 12 to 3 And we could drive on for three hours And nobody will know your grandmother works My mother's definitely not coming home So we used to play hooky And one day they caught us And her and I had like There was 20 feet between us on a fence Their parents had a house right behind mine And my mom went into the backyard, like the fucking Spanish woman that she is, and started yelling, your daughter's a whore.

[480] She's over here every day.

[481] I don't know what they do in that room.

[482] I hope she's not sucking his dick.

[483] Oh, my God.

[484] My daughter was just a, my son was a regular little boy until your daughter took over.

[485] And I used to walk her home, and I remember walking the house, and the mom's like, can I talk to you for a second?

[486] Your mom's out there yelling horrible things about my daughter calling her.

[487] a whore and shit.

[488] Wow.

[489] I had to go home and tell my mom, what's up with that?

[490] She's a fucking whore.

[491] But it drove my mom.

[492] That woman drove my...

[493] And after I got a girlfriend, no more problems after that.

[494] It was just this skinny chick that drove my motherfucking crazy.

[495] Hey, they made you, man. You mean, imagine?

[496] You have a little boy and you take him to the park and he's a cute little fella and he runs and he stumbles and he falls down and he cries.

[497] And you pick him up and he hugs you and you love him.

[498] And you're like, it's okay.

[499] You just scrape your knee.

[500] It's okay.

[501] And he's crying and crying.

[502] You feel so bad.

[503] You feel so bad.

[504] And you get him a band -aid and give him a kiss and talk to him and hang out with him.

[505] Then he goes to sleep.

[506] And you sit there and you look at him sleep and you think about how precious he is, this little life form that you're entrusted with.

[507] You got to take care of.

[508] And 15 years later, someone's sucking his dick.

[509] Some dirty little girl down the block.

[510] God damn it Look at that Now he's all into her all the time And obsess with her It's driving you nuts How's your baby Your baby Stuck with some tramp Dirty little tramp I mean you and I have daughters You and I have daughters Which is a That's a hell on earth Having a daughter Is hell on earth It's fun now It's cute She puts costumes on She loves daddy She watches TV But there's an accommodation She wants to go to the mall with her friends And you have to let her And you have to worry And it's not the same world So, you know The world is not the same now And it's not going to be the same When they're older It's getting weirder and weirder You know, people are getting You know, we were talking earlier About bugs and searches And people being able to turn your microphones on It has a matter of time Before there's no privacy Whether it's 50 years whether it's 100 years and I mean I think there's going to be no privacy with anything I don't think with your thoughts I think we're going to this the next thing after cell phones is going to be something that allows us to communicate way easier they're going to within the next 50 years they're going to come up with some way where we're going to be able all communicate through a device and it's going to be better than just talking we're going to we're going to share thoughts it's going to get really fucking strange I'm 100 % convinced.

[511] I think all this stuff is just getting...

[512] Everything accelerates, right?

[513] It used to be really hard to get a hold of somebody.

[514] Now it's really easy to get a hold of somebody, and now people have figured out ways to turn people's microphones on and record them, and people are just putting tape over their webcam.

[515] I don't want anybody looking while I'm jerking off.

[516] They think someone's going to look through it from the other side.

[517] They probably can.

[518] It's going to be a matter of time before everybody can, with everybody, with everything you do.

[519] There's going to be all...

[520] All information available to everybody.

[521] This is going to happen.

[522] We're so far away from where we were in the 70s.

[523] We're so far away.

[524] So far away.

[525] So far away.

[526] And that was our lifetime.

[527] We can remember the 70s.

[528] You know, in 1973, I was six years old.

[529] Okay, I remember that.

[530] I remember the Vietnam War.

[531] I remember when the war ended, thinking when I was a little kid, this is great that the war is over, because now they know that war is bad, and they won't do any war anymore.

[532] The war is over.

[533] It's gone.

[534] And then when the war started up again, when I was, I think I was 21, when Desert Storm kicked in, I was like, holy shit, they're doing it again.

[535] Me and my friend Jimmy Detilio, we had an apartment in, I think it was fucking, where were we?

[536] Maldon or some shit?

[537] I forget where the fuck we were.

[538] That's where we were.

[539] That's where we were in Waltham.

[540] We had this fucking apartment, and we were sitting there on TV.

[541] We were just sitting in front of the living room.

[542] I didn't think we had a couch.

[543] we're just sitting there in the living room watching these fucking missiles flying through the air I'll never forget he goes buddy looks like we're at war and I was like what how the we're both sitting there going what how the fuck we're at war I thought we didn't do that anymore I remember that I remember that whole that time when that was how you got information from the TV is so far removed from today.

[544] Today, everything that happens all the time is coming at you.

[545] A hundred miles an hour from every direction.

[546] There's just too much to keep up with.

[547] You have to, you have to control it, though.

[548] You have to control it.

[549] You still have to have a life.

[550] You still, you know, I don't have Facebook on my phone.

[551] I have my email account.

[552] I try to keep Twitter off my phone.

[553] When I go on the road, the iPad has no Twitter and no Facebook.

[554] It's too much.

[555] It's too much and it interferes of who we are.

[556] And if you haven't caught that by now, you're not catching this.

[557] You know, I'll open up my Twitter on a Saturday just to see who's tweeting, thinking to myself, what are you doing with your fucking life?

[558] That you're tweeting on Friday and fucking Saturday and Sunday.

[559] You know?

[560] It becomes a little game.

[561] It's a little game.

[562] You have to give it a breather.

[563] You have to.

[564] you, it's too much news coming at you.

[565] From 202 on on your satellite disk, it's, you know what the other thing is?

[566] It's too much news.

[567] From sports to world news, you got HLN, CNN, and then ESPN, all in the fucking row.

[568] It's too fast, it's too quick.

[569] Last week when I was home, my buddy is a cab driver.

[570] I took six Ubers on Monday in New York.

[571] Tuesday I just wanted to take a cab I took my wife to get some real pizza Roma pizza the guy that was making pizza there was still there when I was a kid I drove by one day and I go he's still in there so we took a fucking cab on the cab this guy that drove me as a friend of mine we grew up against us since we were 12 and we were talking I go that's the first gas station I robbed and then he goes remember when we were 12 when we were walking home the night Freddie Prince got killed Wow.

[572] Freddie Prince had killed himself the night before.

[573] We didn't find out until that 6 o 'clock news.

[574] Do you know what I'm saying?

[575] Yeah.

[576] Like that was the gap in time.

[577] So you got your news.

[578] And even though that was New York, it was the city capital, who watched TV in the morning?

[579] Maybe they mentioned it in the morning.

[580] Reports out of L .A., Freddy Prince is in the hospital.

[581] Yeah, but you never saw it.

[582] No. I remember us being out and them saying Freddie Prince died.

[583] He shot himself last night.

[584] And I still remember how cold it was.

[585] It was January or February.

[586] It was fucking freezing.

[587] But we were walking home.

[588] We were 12.

[589] And what do we see in front of us?

[590] But a guy passed out drunk.

[591] Just ham it drunk on the floor.

[592] So we're like, hold down.

[593] Let's get the money out of his pocket.

[594] You take the bottle.

[595] It was like a bottle of like doers or whatever.

[596] So I plan once to take a bottle and shake a bum.

[597] What's it called?

[598] You roll a bum.

[599] Yeah.

[600] And we put our hand in his pocket, and he grabbed one of us like Carrie.

[601] So next thing, all three of us just started kicking him.

[602] Like, we must have kicked them 82 times.

[603] Oh, my God.

[604] And we ran away in a bottle.

[605] He got up and chased us.

[606] Oh, Jesus.

[607] But we knew his shirt pad through the cemetery, so we lost him.

[608] Like, you get all those weird things.

[609] Like, that's what I associate.

[610] with like Freddy shot himself at night.

[611] They must have mentioned it in the morning.

[612] I was too busy going to school and it wasn't confirmed until the next day.

[613] That's how slow news was.

[614] Now, you're getting news.

[615] You're getting hit with 200 stories in 10 minutes.

[616] Yeah.

[617] What happened in France, what Trump decided, what the UFC is doing, what fucking Penny Marshall died, you're getting through this thrown actual.

[618] all day, and you really can't control it.

[619] Take your child.

[620] You've watched these two young girls grow up.

[621] You ever have days where you take them somewhere, Disney, and it's so much information, they've got to go back and take an app.

[622] Yeah.

[623] That happens to us still, too.

[624] Yeah.

[625] That's got to be happening to us.

[626] Well, for sure.

[627] It's wearing you out, and a lot of it is really negative, too.

[628] You know, that's another part of the problem is what's interesting to people is what's dangerous, and there's not much danger.

[629] dangerous.

[630] So what's interesting to people becomes, you know, being negative, being nasty about something, complaining about things, bitching about that, starting Twitter fights.

[631] Like people enjoy doing it.

[632] They're like, they're looking for, for battles.

[633] You know, and I wish there was a way where people could choose to only engage online without insulting people and just trying to get a rise out of people, like a troll -free way.

[634] of interacting, but it's never going to happen.

[635] So you've got to kind of accept what it is.

[636] So if you accept what it is, you should be very wary about entering to anything where 60 % of what you're experiencing is negative.

[637] Anything, anything in life where you're looking at 60 % negative.

[638] You don't have to.

[639] Being informed is one thing, but that's more than just being informed.

[640] Because how much of that information is even valuable to you?

[641] A lot of it is just getting soaked into these fucking, horrible stories you know i mean i went down a rabbit hole the other day reading about this uh these uh scandinavian tourists that got beheaded in morocco in the mountains these girls were hitchhiking and they they went it's fucking horrible it's horrible horrible stuff man then i watched a video of it it's horrible what you know i love you room number one don't go hitchhiking in morocco mind your fucking business you know this girls apparently did this all over the world you do you know you talk about a guy that fucking went somewhere and tried to convert a tribe, you know, and they showed up with a fucking Bible.

[642] You know, mind your business.

[643] All right, send the fucking Bible via Amal and do the best you can.

[644] There's some people who want to put themselves in a dangerous way.

[645] They don't think they know, man. I fucking hate all that shit.

[646] I fucking hate all that shit.

[647] I like controlling my situation.

[648] I really do.

[649] I don't want to sound shallow.

[650] I would love to be able to have a passport and go to China and go to Italy.

[651] But I'm not going nowhere where there's nothing fucking crazy going on.

[652] I don't need that in my life.

[653] I don't want to hear a bomb when I'm fucking sleeping when I'm in Israel.

[654] Talk to Harri the other day.

[655] You can hear bombs going off and shit.

[656] Fucking Ari's like telling me jokes on the phone.

[657] You hear a bomb going off and shit.

[658] I don't need that.

[659] I don't need none of that shit.

[660] That's putting yourself in the arms way.

[661] You know, and I appreciate the balls.

[662] I appreciate the balls.

[663] you climbing up Mount Nogero.

[664] I appreciate all that stuff.

[665] But it's not in my percentage graph.

[666] I believe in percentages.

[667] You understand me?

[668] I get it.

[669] So, it's just, you know, the other night I read, so I get high at night, I do comedy and to come down, I smoke 55 fucking bonnets.

[670] Sometimes you don't have to say a joke on Twitter.

[671] The joke is written.

[672] When you read it as a human, being you're saying this is a very interesting article but at the same time it does have elements of humor in it there's an article of a hot chick and it says mother goes to court to complain about teacher who fucked a 15 year old kid because his life has changed has never been the same since she fucked him sure it hasn't the kid's never going to get his dick suck like that again can you imagine getting a teacher to blow your horn when you're in high school one of those dirty teeth.

[673] Did you see the picture of a Joe Rogam with a fish on a boat with a bikini?

[674] Now you take this chick to the prom and she's sucking your dick crying.

[675] You know what I'm saying?

[676] Like, I've never done this before.

[677] You know what I'm saying?

[678] Like reluctant.

[679] Sure his life has changed.

[680] It's a joke.

[681] Dog, I got attacked for two days and I didn't re -attack people.

[682] I turned it around them.

[683] I called them love and they said Merry Christmas and they had nowhere to go.

[684] it's so funny that you can get caught in that they forget we're comedians we are a tube a tube that transport something really ugly into something that's still ugly but a little bit of funny to it I cracked a joke when I found my mother dead on the floor to myself would you say I knew she was never going to know I got left back because I got left back but I never told and it was coming on a year that I had to tell her she was She kept asking me, have you chosen a college yet?

[685] And I'm the sophomore year.

[686] For three years, I ran a scam of my mother that I had, that I didn't even tell her.

[687] She thought I was a junior.

[688] I was really a sophomore.

[689] So as soon as I made that turn, I picked her up, I saw her arm was purple.

[690] I kissed her forehead, but I remember popping up and going, I knew this bitch wasn't going to ever found out.

[691] I got back before I dialed 911.

[692] So if I dropped humor at that situation, That's how I fucking handle myself.

[693] Well, that's how you alleviate pressure in your life.

[694] Yeah, you have to drop humor.

[695] I will drop a bomb on you at a funeral, Joe Rogan.

[696] I will drop a bomb on you at a funeral that you will look at me and go, Jodea's the balls on you, but thank God you came.

[697] Did I ever tell you what Dave Foley said when Phil Hartman didn't win an Emmy?

[698] What?

[699] We were all in the audience, right?

[700] We went there to honor him because he got nominated, and the dude from Frazier won.

[701] And Dave Foley He turns to me and Stephen Rudy He goes What the hell do you have to do to win?

[702] He goes, He got shot for fuck's sake And Dave Foley's a funny one It really is People have no idea When I see people arguing now Like now is a 55 year old You look at it And you go I threw away 20 years in my life argue with people that I had no reason to argue with them for it's not even worth it if they played the tape back you'd laugh at yourself and feel horrible you look at shit now and you go what it how does this even affect your life I turn I watch those CNN like when you're in a hotel room on the weekends you know you got you go down a CNN or see a H -NBC political pipe hole oh I love those for six minutes to see people get fired up and they attack each other and everybody's fucking bullshit but you sit there and you go what is the big fucking deal no matter if fucking Hitler makes a comeback and he's president you all got to get up and go to work every morning it's not like they're giving you money anymore it's not like somebody's giving you money or they're putting you in the house for free if Fidel resurfaces from the grave and he's the president you still got to work You still got to build houses You still got to announce the UFC's So what How much does it really affect you At least that's how I've always thought The problem with all these shows is all of them Whether it's CNN or Fox News or anything Is that they're leaning.

[703] They're leaning somewhere They're leaning one They're telling you about the news But they're leaning on it in a way They're not just simply recording the fact Especially Fox News right They lean I don't know I don't know what you're you guys are talking about when you say that but i will tell you really yeah when people talk to me about left and right i have no idea because i don't even know where i stand on most issues but guess what i didn't see in new york and new jersey last week what take a guess of what i did not see homeless people really maybe because it's so cold uh i was homeless for fucking 19 days in New York in December, from December 12th to the 31st.

[704] I got a hotel room maybe 50 % of the time, but besides that, I was homeless at one time in 1984.

[705] And I asked people, and you go, no, you just don't say it.

[706] I saw very small sections of not encampments, but the homeless percentage was smaller, so I asked somebody what that is.

[707] How come I have so many homeless people out here?

[708] And they said it's called because they're liberal.

[709] I didn't fucking know That's what a liberal was I had no idea I just You mean California's liberal Yeah I just try to be a human being I don't know That doesn't make sense It's like what does that mean Then where the homeless go Do we make more of them out here Is that what he's saying Do you allow it That that Las Vegas He was telling me that Las Vegas Ships their homeless Give us them a bus to California And 25 bucks And with the ship I feel like the shipping Is about busing people To like Alaska For a little while Or something like that A couple years ago Something like that.

[710] Something like that was gone.

[711] You saw the TV show Wild Wild Country.

[712] Did you see that?

[713] No. It's on the Ragnish.

[714] Is that I say it?

[715] Ragnish cult from Oregon.

[716] And one of the things they did to, they took over the town.

[717] Oh, yeah.

[718] I've heard about them.

[719] Watched it.

[720] Homeless people in buses.

[721] And then how'd all those people vote?

[722] And then they took over the fucking town.

[723] They like developed a real town.

[724] And then they took over this one area, bust out how America moves its homelessness.

[725] Whoa.

[726] Each year, U .S. City gives thousands of homeless people one -way bus tickets out of town, an 18 -month nationwide investigation by the Guardian reveals for the first time what really happens at Journey's End.

[727] Whoa, that sounds like a M. Night Shyamalan movie, right?

[728] They kill a bunch of homeless people.

[729] Like Satan's involved?

[730] It's like they just move them away?

[731] Where do they ship them?

[732] Looks like they're throwing them down in Miami and in L .A. Well, I lived in Colorado.

[733] In Colorado, people would, the homeless people would commit crimes.

[734] They figured out what crimes they would get 60 days for.

[735] And they would commit that crime.

[736] Plead guilty due to 60 days just to get out of the winter.

[737] Because in those days, Boulder would give you tobacco.

[738] you were allowed.

[739] They would give you tobacco, but you had to roll it, that type of shit.

[740] Boulder County Jail.

[741] In 1991, Boulder County Jail and some other jail were voted number one and two jails in the country.

[742] Wow.

[743] That people wouldn't want to go to those jails.

[744] Then Boulder built a new jail, and it became fucking communist land, like Aspen.

[745] Communist land?

[746] Yeah, like no cigarettes.

[747] Everybody had to wear uniforms.

[748] Oh.

[749] No more staying up until 2 in the morning.

[750] What was wrong with the other way?

[751] Boulder County Jail.

[752] The way, the good way.

[753] Oh, Boulder County Jail was a paradise.

[754] Well, what was wrong with that?

[755] It got out.

[756] It got out that it was too nice.

[757] Right.

[758] So, like, I'm telling you, homeless people would commit a crime to do 60 days.

[759] Can I ask you something about this?

[760] As a person who's been in jail.

[761] Go ahead.

[762] Would it motivate you more?

[763] This is an honest question.

[764] Would it motivate you more if you were in jail and it was nice and comfortable in there and you got to relax and calm down?

[765] Or would it motivate you more if they brought you into some communist -type jail as you described it?

[766] Everybody had wear uniforms.

[767] There was no cigarettes.

[768] There was no fun.

[769] They limited your outside time.

[770] I did them both.

[771] What do you think is a person who's been through?

[772] What would be most effective in rehabilitating you?

[773] I mean, that's the idea, right?

[774] I don't give a...

[775] If right now you said to me, you got to stay in this fucking building for six months.

[776] This is going to be your jail.

[777] This is like Pablo Escobar's jail.

[778] It's still jail.

[779] I want you to remember that.

[780] Right.

[781] You cannot leave the building for six months.

[782] I will let you go out to the front and a cage one hour a day.

[783] But you've got to figure out what you're going to do in here for 12 months.

[784] It's a cage.

[785] Yes, I have more options here.

[786] I can lift weights.

[787] I can do different parts of my body.

[788] I could shoot pool.

[789] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[790] boulder was very simple.

[791] Boulder, you got locked up.

[792] They gave you linens.

[793] You either took them or you didn't.

[794] Now I want to get my own clothes.

[795] So you called home.

[796] At lunchtime, Joe Rogan brought me my jeans, my sneakers, my T -shirts.

[797] I'm wearing my own clothes.

[798] So now they determine what you were in for, non -violent or violent.

[799] If you're a non -violent defender, the world is yours.

[800] The violent ones are the ones that get lumped in with the other violent one.

[801] So now the violent offenders, depending on what you do as violent, you go into one sector.

[802] And that sector, the longer you're in there, the more rewards you get.

[803] So if you're in green, you're stamp until 10, and they got cable TV.

[804] If you're red, you step up to 11, and they got cable TV.

[805] If you're purple, you step until 1.

[806] 1 a .m. Oh, my God, Boulder County Jail was tremendous.

[807] Why I am in CD?

[808] I didn't drink milk.

[809] Milk is big in jail because the bodybuilders like milk.

[810] It's like fucking drugs.

[811] Really?

[812] So I would trade you and you my milk for your Kool -Aid.

[813] All right.

[814] So I was in there drinking fucking Kool -Aids and shit because I fucking hate milk.

[815] Boulder was a paradise compared to other jails.

[816] Oh, listen to this.

[817] Thanksgiving Day.

[818] Was that locked up Thanksgiving Day?

[819] Yeah.

[820] The guard came in, and I'll never forget, his name was Ron, and he opened up the cell door, and there was a phone there.

[821] And he goes, anybody who needs to use the phone, use the phone.

[822] I figured out, you know, in those days you had to press 9, they got an outside line.

[823] I pressed 8 to see if I get a long distance, nothing.

[824] I pressed 7, nothing.

[825] 6, nothing, 5, nothing 4, fucking long distance.

[826] I got to call my peeps in Jersey for 20 minutes apiece.

[827] You know, you just feel.

[828] figure out different things.

[829] Then they send you to a place where somebody looks you in the eye and says strip down and you got to go and take a shower and then you come out and they put a finger up your ass to see if you got contraband.

[830] And they give you tidy whiteies and an orange jumpsuit.

[831] They put like a rubber glove on and then loop their finger out?

[832] Does it matter?

[833] At that point I didn't give a fuck.

[834] You're putting a finger up my ass.

[835] It breaks you down as a man as much as anything in the world.

[836] That's the first break down.

[837] Wow.

[838] To turn you around, to let you know they run you.

[839] They're going to stick it up your ass.

[840] Then you go to your cell, and those guys in there are not very nice.

[841] They weren't like the Boulder County Jail guys.

[842] Those guys would kick your bed and make you get up, turn your light on in the middle of the night, and say, get out of bed.

[843] We're going to do a search at 2 in the morning.

[844] Those people are not nice at all.

[845] Then I got transferred to Summit County Jail, which was a fuck.

[846] in paradise paradise paradise handball all day outside TV till 2 in the morning TVs in your cell black and white TVs in your cell basic cable you could be up all night if you wanted to go to breakfast you ate breakfast if not you could sleep through breakfast and we'd eat your breakfast for you and then from there they ship me off the Department of Corrections that's where it's the nitty grid If you think black people talk at a movie theater at night, don't go there.

[847] Don't go there.

[848] Black people talk all night.

[849] It's six or seven floors, and I was in there in August, with full humidity in Canyon City, Colorado.

[850] Wow.

[851] All right, with a little window, you know, and I was like on the third floor I couldn't breathe.

[852] And in those days, they let you out.

[853] You took two showers or week.

[854] week, and one hour a day you went outside.

[855] After that, you were just in a cell by yourself.

[856] And at night of froze, in the daytime, it was like fucking being sweating in a fucking tin can.

[857] You're in a tin can in the daytime.

[858] Nowhere from this thing.

[859] Oh, shit.

[860] There's nothing.

[861] Two showers.

[862] And then the three meals.

[863] and then the first week is good because you actually get out of your cell to go test they test you everything your math, your English they fucking put a bunch of pictures in front of you and they put you through psychiatry they take your blood out they do everything and then they assess you and then they have I took care of all the dots okay there's a bunch of dots you have to dot your eyes.

[864] Like, if you have a high school diploma, you get a point.

[865] If you were working at the time of rest, you get a point.

[866] If you were up to paying rent.

[867] So I got a bunch of points for that.

[868] It's so funny how to talk about something very interesting.

[869] It's very interesting where there's Harvey Weinstein case is going to go.

[870] It's very interesting where it's going to go.

[871] Right now, he has Benjamin Braff as an attorney.

[872] and if you see what happened, Benjamin Braff pushed for a dismissal, and he didn't get it.

[873] The lawyer said, the judge said a trial date.

[874] They're going to get a trial date.

[875] Harvey Weinstein's going to go throw more money to pay off time.

[876] Harvey's going to go for time.

[877] Then he's going to fire Benjamin Braff and show up with two women, primarily one black and one Asian or one white.

[878] and one Asian.

[879] And this is when this trial is going to get very interesting.

[880] Harvey's also going to hire millions of dollars in private investigators.

[881] They're going to interview boyfriends.

[882] They're going to interview.

[883] This case is going to be very interesting, unlike the Cosby case, where Cosby didn't really fuck it.

[884] How do you know he's going to do all this stuff?

[885] Because I know this is what I would do.

[886] I know if you come to me and you go, I'm getting busted for this.

[887] So what do I do?

[888] Because of how I grew up around those people, this is what you do.

[889] Benjamin Braff cannot ask a woman.

[890] The same question, a woman can ask a woman.

[891] So I'm going to go in there with either a black woman, an Asian woman, or a white woman.

[892] My first two choices are a black and an Asian woman.

[893] You want to get the diversity angle?

[894] I want to get the diversity angle, and I want to get that.

[895] You're saying that because you're a black woman, Chinese woman.

[896] What I'm trying to stare.

[897] I mean, have you, did you ever really watch the people versus O .J. Simpson?

[898] No, I didn't.

[899] Very interesting.

[900] And it's, it's time that you sat now, the holidays.

[901] Is that the, uh, is that the, uh, is that the FX version?

[902] Yeah, the FX version.

[903] I watched one episode.

[904] It seemed very good.

[905] Very interesting how he put a dream team together.

[906] How accurate is it?

[907] It's going to cost you 10 mil.

[908] Listen to me, G. You got two options.

[909] You're going there like Cosby and pay two mil and make believe you blind or.

[910] we put together a fuck of you didn't you see him he went in there with that milky shit over his eyes like the guy from kung fu remember when we were kids kung fu's father had like yeah kung fu's father was like half blind and shit yeah he had that milk of magnesium on his eye and shit that's how cosby went in there playing like i'm sick routine he's got cataracts who cosby yeah but he didn't have cataracts when he was not when he did something not when he did not when he put the pill in the water he didn't know he knows He knows what the fucking soul.

[911] He just takes three steps.

[912] You show him a fucking, you know, yeah, he knows.

[913] But Harvey has to play this hand.

[914] This is what America's about to watch.

[915] They're going to watch something fucking crazy.

[916] Harvey knows he can't go in there, Benjamin Braff.

[917] Benjamin Braff had Gravano.

[918] Look at the list of Benjamin Braff has.

[919] And Benjamin Braff can't attack a woman.

[920] Joey, you look at, like, legal cases, like sports.

[921] Listen to me, bro.

[922] He's got pencil and paper.

[923] Listen to me. All this dad, like, he's the beauty.

[924] John Jones versus Gustafson.

[925] I went to New York last week, and I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my daughter.

[926] She loves art. And while I was sitting there, I was at it saying, and I'm going to be on your own.

[927] Because my daughter didn't want me taking pictures in front of the statues anyway.

[928] She's like, Daddy, get out of the pictures of the statues.

[929] So I'm like, what the fuck am I hanging out with you for?

[930] She was in the Chinese wing.

[931] I wanted to see the Armenian wing.

[932] But it was funny how I was thinking about, When I was 21 and 22, Joe Rogan, I would get stoned to the gills and go to the Museum of Natural History, the Museum of my hobbies back then, since I was such a loner and people were looking for me, and I was always a criminal.

[933] I would go over the bridge to either go to one of those museums or I would sit in a courtroom.

[934] I would go to a place that had a fucking Italian sandwich, and I'd get a bag of wise potato chips and a 16 -ounce Coke.

[935] And you go to any courtroom.

[936] The court starts at 7.

[937] At the Metropolitan downtown, I'd take the A -Train, and I'd walk.

[938] I forget now what, you know, this is 1983, 81.

[939] I was a kid.

[940] And I would sit and I'd observe night court.

[941] I learned how to, plus I grew up in that.

[942] You were what, you'd sit and watch night court like you'd watch a basketball game, like a pickup game somewhere?

[943] Yeah, with a sandwich and a soda and potato chips.

[944] I think a lot of people don't realize you could just go to court.

[945] And I would watch 12 people, I would learn how to set bail.

[946] Can you do that any time you want?

[947] Can you just get in there and watch?

[948] In the 80s, yes.

[949] Now there's bomb detectors.

[950] You have to have to have the reason why you're there.

[951] Do you have to?

[952] What if you're interested in the case?

[953] Yeah, you go down there and just watch it.

[954] What if you, you know, for whatever reason there's a speeding thing?

[955] Like someone lost their license and they got arrested driving and trying to get away from cops.

[956] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[957] You can go watch that.

[958] I'd go go, I'm supporting Joe.

[959] I would like to go and see, I would like to see what the fuck was going on when those guys are trying to get away from the cops, the helicopters are chasing him with the spotlights, and they just keep going.

[960] Like, what the fuck were you thinking?

[961] Like, what, I would like to get to that courtroom hearing.

[962] I want to see that guy.

[963] I want to look at that guy that was, like, running from the cops at the fucking spotlight from the helicopter on me. He knew he wasn't going to get away, and he's cutting people off and driving the fucking side of the old.

[964] Nobody ever gets away.

[965] Has anybody ever gotten away?

[966] recently the other night something happened they couldn't find them oh yeah they get away the percentages let me explain something the percentages are very fucking low right it's tough to get away bro they got you once those helicopter spot you're running through neighborhoods you gotta make sure if you're going into a mall they have cameras they could rewind the cameras right if you're running into the mall there he is we'll spot them they're running a car that's the yeah they'll What happens to you?

[967] You want to know what happens to you?

[968] What happens to you?

[969] All right, first of all, usually sky nine is following you.

[970] That's the news?

[971] Yeah, they got to put you on the floor, kick your legs, do everything by procedure on camera.

[972] Then they pick you up, they handcuffed you, they put you in the side of the car.

[973] The guy tells you his whole white version of what happened.

[974] The pursuit started on the vibe.

[975] The white version?

[976] Yeah, and he's wanted.

[977] Subject.

[978] Yeah, suspect was moving at a high rate of speed.

[979] Then they fucking, you know, if I. I just had to chase you for 20 miles.

[980] How pissed them I at you?

[981] Oh, yeah.

[982] So they put you in the fucking trunk.

[983] They put you in the backseat in front of everybody.

[984] So the cameras take pictures, and they put a cop next to you.

[985] On the drive day, you got a couple back hands to your face.

[986] You know what I'm saying?

[987] That you hit the steering wheel or something.

[988] They hit you a couple times.

[989] Then you go in there, and you sit in a holding tank, and then you fucking, if you're with one another person, you just shut your fucking mount.

[990] You want to call your lawyer?

[991] I'll call them later.

[992] You want to call your lawyer because you want one of the other guys to get a lawyer.

[993] So then like that, you have to get it's conflict of interest.

[994] So if me, you and Jamie get arrested right now, I'm going to shut my mouth and tell you I'm going to call my attorney later.

[995] Because I know for a fact, Jamie's going to get a public defender.

[996] So now I can't get a public defender because that's conflict.

[997] of interest.

[998] So the state has to pay for a different attorney for me. Whoa.

[999] A lot of people don't know that.

[1000] So if you get arrested with two or three people, you keep your mind, should.

[1001] Yeah, I'll call my attorney later.

[1002] You have an attorney?

[1003] Yeah, I forget his name.

[1004] Let Jamie cop the public defender.

[1005] Now two public defenders can't represent you.

[1006] So now you get a better chance of getting a better attorney.

[1007] And the state pays for it.

[1008] It's on the on.

[1009] So next time you pay for your mortgage, you go, God damn it, these state takes us a high.

[1010] It's because it jerk off like me, went with fucking Johnny Van Badabutt's and fucking, he wants $800 an hour, even though the state will give him $400 an hour.

[1011] It's like wholesale, you know what I'm saying?

[1012] But at least I got a better type of attorney.

[1013] You game the system.

[1014] You game the system.

[1015] Nice.

[1016] It really is fucking crazy.

[1017] How I love figuring this shit out.

[1018] You're writing things down.

[1019] Like, you wouldn't even thinking.

[1020] just automatically started writing down numbers and percentages and shit.

[1021] Oh, yeah, I know all this shit.

[1022] It's like a sport.

[1023] It's like a sport.

[1024] So that's what he'll do.

[1025] And by the time Harvey bring it on a rape case, you've got to go up there and relive the story and tell the dates.

[1026] And if there was a rape kit, it's very fucking tough.

[1027] This is going to be very interesting, bro, what's going to happen here.

[1028] The only thing is anything he cops to, they're going to come back and I'm like, O .J. and try to sue them and he'll just live in Florida making fucking Super 8 films down there down in fucking Miramar, Florida or whatever fucking you go.

[1029] It is crazy when you see someone like him.

[1030] Because they work the system.

[1031] I'm not saying nothing bad here.

[1032] That's what your advisors and your people around, you'll tell you.

[1033] He's in hot water for the rest of his life because even if he gets that down to like an assault charge and he has to serve eight months, 12 months, which is really eight, once he gets out, all the civil suits are going to come at him.

[1034] And then he has to pull an OJ and move to Florida where they can't touch your pension or some bullshit money he had hidden or something like that.

[1035] Wow.

[1036] It's really crazy.

[1037] This is not unrelated to what we're talking about right now.

[1038] So this has happened, I think, since we've been live.

[1039] Kevin Spacey uploaded this video on his YouTube channel where he's in character as Frank Underwood.

[1040] And since this has come out today, he's now been indicted on rape charges in Massachusetts, I believe.

[1041] Whoa.

[1042] Felony rape charge.

[1043] So it's his plea to get his job back?

[1044] This might have come out without him knowing that was going to happen.

[1045] I don't know.

[1046] I was to see if you wanted to watch it and see what he's doing.

[1047] Should we watch it?

[1048] If we watch it, we're going to get kicked off for YouTube, right?

[1049] It's fair use -ish.

[1050] I mean, it should be definitely fair use.

[1051] We can at least watch a minute or something like the 20 seconds of him and see what he's doing.

[1052] He's washed his hands.

[1053] I know what you want.

[1054] Oh, sure, they may have tried to separate us, but what we have is too strong, it's too powerful.

[1055] I mean, after all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets.

[1056] I showed you exactly what people are capable of.

[1057] I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think.

[1058] And you trusted me. Even though you knew you shouldn't.

[1059] So we're not done no matter what anyone says.

[1060] And besides, I know what you want.

[1061] You want me back.

[1062] Of course, some believed everything and had just been waiting with bated breath to hear me confess at all.

[1063] They're just dying to have me declare that everything said is true and that I got what I deserved.

[1064] Wouldn't that be easy if it was all so simple?

[1065] Only you and I both know it's never that simple, not in politics, and not in life.

[1066] But you wouldn't believe the worst.

[1067] We get it.

[1068] We get it.

[1069] He's in character?

[1070] 100%.

[1071] That's supposed to be dead in the show, correct?

[1072] It's weird.

[1073] This is strange.

[1074] That's strange to watch.

[1075] Because, you know, what strange is he seems a little off his game.

[1076] Right?

[1077] I mean, I don't know if he was playing Frank Underwood.

[1078] Yeah, yeah.

[1079] He seems a little off.

[1080] Like, okay, we're a little tense on that one.

[1081] Let's, uh...

[1082] Oh, yeah.

[1083] let's get into this you're frank underwood come on man Kevin Kevin you're Frank underwood I'm Frank Underwood and then boom hit it a second time it's the second take felt smoother second take felt smoother you know it seemed like acting it's weird it's not like it's a great character that character is fucking great character I mean the Frank Underwood character is like one of the all -time TV characters but that's just weird he just brought him in the real life that's so strange he was himself yeah I'll say what happened on the...

[1084] For statutory?

[1085] Fox News, according to Fox News, but this is everywhere else, too.

[1086] He shared this video as he's announced that he's facing felony sexual assault charges for assaulting a teenage son of a former news anchor in Nantucket Bar in 2016.

[1087] Jesus.

[1088] Dock he was going off on that powder?

[1089] God knows the power they give you and what you buy into.

[1090] make that tape just shows you how fucking creepy he's getting now i really think to be that good at acting you got to be out of your fucking mind kevin spacey's a bad motherfucker when it comes to acting all the horrible things he's done aside there's a there's a quality about someone that's that good you know they're just got like a certain amount of insanity to that this is not apologizing for his actions everything he did is horrendous but i mean to be surprised that you're seeing him seem crazy there no that's not surprising he's too he's too good to not be crazy like i would assume that they're all when they're not crazy i'm shocked you know when someone there's a you know seems to like daniel de louis doesn't seem to be crazy right he just seems to be obsessed it seems to be obsessed with work maybe i'm wrong i think all those brilliant motherfuckers are out of their mind it's just his out of his mind is you ever have a gentleman's Horrible.

[1091] I did when I was a kid.

[1092] Okay.

[1093] My grandparents did, actually.

[1094] Germany Shepherds are very smart, intelligent dogs.

[1095] But they all have a quirk.

[1096] They all have a quirk.

[1097] You know, my mom wouldn't neuter hers.

[1098] She had a female, and they'd bleed once a month, which made them even fucking crazy.

[1099] So when I was a kid, my mom had one that you couldn't go to a purse.

[1100] My buddy Stinky had one that you...

[1101] My buddy Stinky had a German Shepherd that was pure, authentic.

[1102] You could walk in the house.

[1103] I had a great time.

[1104] I dade and make a move for the door.

[1105] So he bit all our friends in the ass.

[1106] He didn't like when people left.

[1107] So every one of us, because of the extreme of what we do, including yourself, has to have some, you know, something.

[1108] You and I were on the phone last week, speaking about Bill Burke.

[1109] He went on a helicopter.

[1110] He plays the drums.

[1111] Yeah.

[1112] He's a comedian.

[1113] He's a dance.

[1114] He does an animated series, you know, you know.

[1115] So here you are in a helicopter with Bill Burr flying around the city.

[1116] But two nights earlier, you were laughing on him on stage, while he made fun of some fucking, when I saw him last, he was hysterical, making fun of the Obama tour.

[1117] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1118] This is Obama.

[1119] You know, so you follow me?

[1120] Yeah.

[1121] Those extremities is what makes you good at your main thing.

[1122] you know the fact that that fucking cowboys are all those different things the fact that cowboy seroni fights at a high level of competition but then two weeks later he's high diving off a cliff or motorcycle racing not just that he does it while he's in training while he's in training yeah that's what makes people who the fuck they are yeah you know uh when it comes to drugs, psychedelics or the hard shit.

[1123] You know, you get these people that, for years, I heard rumors about certain actors that they show up on the set, still coked up from the night before.

[1124] But give them three cups of coffee, give them breakfast, let them take a shower, and then whoever they're supposed to be.

[1125] So for those eight hours, they kept it together.

[1126] For the other 20, they were a fucking mess.

[1127] Well, look at guys like Nick Nolte, right?

[1128] Nick Nolte is one of the greats, for sure, right?

[1129] I mean, unbelievable actor, and it had some serious, serious substance abuse issues in his past.

[1130] Jan Michael Vincent should have taken over Hollywood, watch the mechanic, you know?

[1131] We have, listen, bro, the Me Too movement was a great movement.

[1132] It made people, you know, whatever the words, to let people know what was going on.

[1133] But what do you think of what happened to Marilyn Monroe?

[1134] She was the first Me Too victim.

[1135] Marilyn Monroe was a, if you look at it from an angle, they passed her around, Joe Rogan.

[1136] Between the president, Nick Bonacani, the fucking mobster in Chicago, and who else passed her around?

[1137] She was married to Mickey Mantle.

[1138] She was married how many fucking times?

[1139] She was married to the playwright to you, right?

[1140] They tormented that poor girl.

[1141] Then they found her were dead of an alcohol.

[1142] Oh, whatever.

[1143] No, no, to me, Marilyn Monroe, when I see Marilyn Monroe, she's the first fucking original, me too.

[1144] You know, they're knocking down all of Gardner and Schrader on Sunset Boulevard.

[1145] But the last, everything is closed.

[1146] The nerd melt is closed.

[1147] Everything is closed on that block.

[1148] The only thing that's still open is that flower shop.

[1149] They finally decided to close after a thousand years.

[1150] But that was the flower shop.

[1151] where if you wanted to take Marilyn Monroe and Pressa, you had to order flowers from that flower shop.

[1152] That was what it was famous for, that DiMaggio, Sinatra, everybody ordered flowers for her for that shop.

[1153] If you knew her, they'd say, what is she like?

[1154] Get flowers from that place on sunset.

[1155] But she was the original, come on, dog.

[1156] Think about how tragic her life was.

[1157] And she was beautiful.

[1158] She was young, and I had them all, but all of a sudden, a slick young guy comes along with his olive oil voice and his tight shoes, and he takes her away from me. I'm a man that cannot be humiliated.

[1159] Isn't that what that dude tells Waltz, isn't that what he tells Robert Duval when he comes over and tells him he wants Sinatra in the movie?

[1160] Yeah.

[1161] And he goes, there's a piece of ass, and I've had them all, and she was the best piece of half.

[1162] But just to show you, it's not about dollars.

[1163] and cents.

[1164] I put singing lessons into her dancing lessons.

[1165] She was going to be a fucking star.

[1166] But all of a sudden, your boy comes along with his olive oil voice and his shiny shoes.

[1167] And he makes her, he takes her away from me. I'm not a man to be humiliated.

[1168] You know what that felt like?

[1169] And he goes off on him, he throws fucking what's his name out.

[1170] The next morning he wakes up in the dead horses in his bed.

[1171] That's right.

[1172] That's the speech he gives him.

[1173] That Sinatra fucking took his girl.

[1174] That's right.

[1175] The horse in the bed scene was one of the most fucked up scenes ever in a movie.

[1176] Especially when you're 10.

[1177] Yeah, because they used a real horse's head.

[1178] Oh, did they really?

[1179] Oh, yeah.

[1180] They killed a fucking horse for that scene.

[1181] 100%.

[1182] That ain't a fucking rubber horse.

[1183] That's a real horse's head.

[1184] You ever watch it again?

[1185] No. I don't think I'm mistaken.

[1186] I'm pretty sure I remember this.

[1187] I remember that it was, I might have a shit memory.

[1188] I think that they might fucking throw you in jail.

[1189] Today.

[1190] Today.

[1191] Even then in the 70s.

[1192] In the 70s you can get away with this.

[1193] You remember what's that movie Bert Reynolds made when he was going to throw the dog out of the plane?

[1194] And the inspector showed up and they kept saying, oh, oh, shit.

[1195] That's the movie when he's the stuntman and Jam Michael Vincent comes to take his job.

[1196] There's an old Bert Reynolds movie.

[1197] Hopper.

[1198] Hopper.

[1199] Oh, wow.

[1200] Hopper.

[1201] That's a movie about Bert Reynolds being the baddest stuntman of all time, but then Jan Michael shows up and Jam Michael's going to eat his lunch.

[1202] But then Bert Reynolds puts Jam Michael in his place and they make the jump in the car together.

[1203] But the funny thing about that movie is that he has to jump out of a building and the guy that played the inspector was a wacky guy.

[1204] What do you got here, Jamie?

[1205] This is a Snopes article.

[1206] It's true.

[1207] They had slaughtered a horse.

[1208] The studio had encouraged Francis.

[1209] is Ford Coppola to use a fake horse head, but he didn't like the mock -up.

[1210] His scouts found a horse ready for slaughter at a dog food plant in New Jersey.

[1211] The art director picked one that looked like the horse in the film and said, when that one is slaughtered, sent us the head.

[1212] He said one day a crate with dry ice came with a horse's head in it.

[1213] Fuck.

[1214] Well, it sounds like they're going to kill the horse anyway.

[1215] That's probably better than not using it, right?

[1216] But people have an attached, they served horse rectum once on Fear Factor, and horse people got real mad.

[1217] They get very mad.

[1218] Is this a scene?

[1219] Here we go.

[1220] You imagine being this poor fuck and being entangled with the mob back then?

[1221] This is supposed to be filmed in what?

[1222] Like the 50s?

[1223] Has it what was?

[1224] Supposed to take place in the 50s?

[1225] I'm not showing it.

[1226] You can't, right.

[1227] Oh, the people at home.

[1228] They can look at it.

[1229] It's a very famous scene.

[1230] What's really scary about this scene is that they came into your house while you were sleeping.

[1231] They didn't wait you up.

[1232] Yep, and they put a horse's head under your sheets.

[1233] And they left a message under your sheets.

[1234] So look, he realizes there's some blood.

[1235] Now he's looking around.

[1236] He's like, what the fuck?

[1237] What the fuck is this?

[1238] How good is this actor?

[1239] Who's his actor?

[1240] What's his name?

[1241] He's been in everything.

[1242] He's like, what the fuck is his blood?

[1243] Yeah, he's looking at the blood.

[1244] It's all over his fucking sheets.

[1245] I mean, it is fucking crate And that's real blood too And there's the horse's head And he started screaming They chopped his fucking horse's head That's hysterical that he took Off and stuff it in bed with him That was like a prized stallion that he had right He fucking took him And then he insulted He insulted him He goes so you can get out And I ain't no band leader And he goes Yeah I heard about that story Because that was a story Michael tells the chick at the thing.

[1246] How do you know Sinatra?

[1247] And she goes, well, my father's a godfather is to him.

[1248] He's his godfather.

[1249] And he goes, what does that mean?

[1250] And he goes, he sang with the Tommy Dorsey band.

[1251] And Tommy said, I'm not releasing him.

[1252] And they put a gun to his head.

[1253] Luca Brassy put a gun to his head and said, you're either going to sign it or your brain's going to be across it.

[1254] Which one?

[1255] They paid a dollar for Sinatra.

[1256] Jesus Christ.

[1257] Oh, my God.

[1258] So that's why when this guy shows up, he goes, I ain't no fucking band leader.

[1259] And that was the last thing.

[1260] You tell some guy like Robert Duvall.

[1261] Robert DeVal says, if you mind, I have a plane, have your driver sent over a plane, get me to the plane, because Vito Corle only is a man of insisting bad news right away and hearing bad news right away.

[1262] And he goes, you go tell him.

[1263] And the next morning, He wakes up with a fucking dead horse.

[1264] Jesus Christ, what a way to send somebody a message, though.

[1265] That was a good fucking movie.

[1266] All those movies were great.

[1267] But the problem is it got Italians way too into being Italian.

[1268] They started over -emphasizing it.

[1269] Yeah, a little too crazy.

[1270] I will tell you this, Joe Rogge, and I told you this a couple of weeks ago.

[1271] And I know it's tough for you.

[1272] It's tough for me, subtitles, but this episode of Narcos is.

[1273] really been one of my...

[1274] Did they doing it all in subtitles?

[1275] No, they got a lot of English, a lot of English, but it's tough for people to watch, but, like, I thought the guy who played Pablo was a bad, like, I was saying the other day, I was telling somebody, you know what, man, I grew up watching American movies, and I loved them, but my undercurrent was watching Spanish television that night.

[1276] From the age of five to eight or nine, there was a couple novellas that I really appreciated.

[1277] And I kind of liked the acting.

[1278] I was like, these guys could fucking act.

[1279] But I forgot all about it.

[1280] And then I watched Man on Fire.

[1281] And Man on Fire had some phenomenal Spanish acting.

[1282] Plus, they had the Italian guy Giancarlo Giannini.

[1283] How bad of a fucking, how bad of a motherfucking Italian are you when your name is Giancarlo Giannini?

[1284] He's the one that was in Hannibal.

[1285] That Hannibal stabs him and then fucking throws his guts out the fucking, I don't know if you've ever watched Hannibal.

[1286] No, I never watched Hannibal.

[1287] That's how, wow, he kills him through his stomach.

[1288] But he's the cop and man on fire, the one who pinksters the girl's ass.

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] Man on fire had a lot of good, like, side actors, but a lot of great Spanish acting.

[1291] So ever since Narcos and Alta Horta and all these shows are coming back, I'm watching these dudes, and I'm like, bro, these guys from old soap opera.

[1292] Man, there's soap operas, which is tough.

[1293] If you've ever did a soap opera, it's a tough.

[1294] I did General Hospital.

[1295] And let me tell you something.

[1296] If I would have gotten off a plane in the non -general hospital, I would have gotten fired.

[1297] Thank God I was here 12 and 13 years, and I knew my way around the set.

[1298] You know, when you book a soap opera, nobody talks to you.

[1299] You do know that.

[1300] Yeah.

[1301] Like you walk into ABC over there on O 'Gott Street.

[1302] You walk in, they look at your ID, and they go, go to room 27.

[1303] You go to your office, you fucking, your suits there.

[1304] When I saw the lady comes in and she goes, how you doing?

[1305] My name is Mildred, watch the TV, and look for your numbers to come up.

[1306] So you sit down, you write your numbers.

[1307] I'm in scene, 27, Chapter 8, and you sit there with wardrobe on.

[1308] I would go there at 8 o 'clock, and I'd be in my car at a quarter of the 10.

[1309] Really?

[1310] How many How many soap operas did you do?

[1311] Three.

[1312] General Hospital.

[1313] Three episodes.

[1314] No kidding.

[1315] Yeah.

[1316] Find that.

[1317] Three episodes of General Hospital.

[1318] That's amazing.

[1319] I played a recovering fucking preacher who had been out in prison and I came out and now it was a fucking marriage thing.

[1320] Bro, when they called me, like they called me and they're like, we're interested that you sending a reel.

[1321] And I'm like, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[1322] So Benjamin Brett, those good -looking dudes, they started out.

[1323] on General Hospital, and you want me on General Hospital.

[1324] You're fucking crazy.

[1325] I sent them a real.

[1326] I swear to God, my agent's like, they really want you real, Joey.

[1327] What do you want me to do?

[1328] I'm going to go send it to them.

[1329] What do you want me to do?

[1330] They're never going to hire me, bro.

[1331] They called right back.

[1332] Come on down for three days.

[1333] Wow.

[1334] You walk in there, Joe Rogan, you give him your ID.

[1335] It's that fast.

[1336] You go to your room.

[1337] They'll say scene 28, prepare, wardrobe.

[1338] You're 10 minutes away.

[1339] you put whatever wardrobe they give you on Do they have Q cards for you?

[1340] They have a, yeah, under the fucking, under the cameras It's a three cameras shoot You go out, it says, okay, acting number 28, come out, you come out, how are you doing, Joe Roggin?

[1341] Very nice to meet you, okay, let's do this, action.

[1342] Boom, boom, boom, boom.

[1343] Let's say you fuck up your line, they don't give a fuck.

[1344] Like if you start from all, no, we're starting from that line.

[1345] Bob, ba, ba, ba, ba, pop, ba, cut, moving ahead.

[1346] Wow.

[1347] And also, they switch you out, ba, blah, blah, bah.

[1348] They put makeup on you, and they're like, you're not in the scene.

[1349] Just sit over here for five minutes, bro.

[1350] Five minutes, they come right back to you.

[1351] All right, you're ready?

[1352] You're in scene three.

[1353] And you're like, what the fuck does happen?

[1354] Bob, pop, pop, pop, pop, pa, pop, pop, pa, pop, pop, pop, pop, you're a rap.

[1355] Thank you for coming down.

[1356] Nobody talks to you, nobody does nothing.

[1357] Huh.

[1358] So it's not, uh, it's a, it's a, they're just trying to get it out quick.

[1359] They don't hold your hand.

[1360] It's eight to five.

[1361] Wow.

[1362] Being on the soap opera is probably the easiest way.

[1363] Like, if you land on General Hospital, you could be on General Hospital for 30 years.

[1364] That dude's been on there for 30 years.

[1365] Yeah.

[1366] You know, you could be on that.

[1367] A couple people have been on it for a long time, right?

[1368] Yeah.

[1369] So it's eight to five.

[1370] Is General Hospital?

[1371] Was that Luke and Laura?

[1372] I don't know.

[1373] That was Luke and Laura, right?

[1374] Remember Luke and Laura?

[1375] No. There was a one I got into it.

[1376] There was a thing that happened.

[1377] There was a thing that happened in soap operas.

[1378] And it happened while I was a kid.

[1379] Luke and Laura transcended general hospital and became a thing all throughout the world.

[1380] These people?

[1381] Yeah, these people.

[1382] Yeah, yeah.

[1383] I remember this.

[1384] It didn't make sense because the dude's hair was weird.

[1385] It was a strange couple.

[1386] I did a scene with him, Doug.

[1387] They were weird.

[1388] Yeah, I did a scene with him.

[1389] She was a little too hot for him.

[1390] It didn't make a whole lot of sense.

[1391] But it worked.

[1392] For whatever reason, it caught fire culturally and it became a big thing.

[1393] And I think I was in high school at the time.

[1394] their wedding was in 1983 okay yeah so I was in high school while I was in high school this was all going down and everybody paid attention to Luke and Laura it was like the general hospital thing took over the country it was like on the cover of people magazine and shit it was everywhere it was this one weird relationship on a soap opera for some reason just became this gigantic phenomenon that everybody was watching I mean I was watching it I would like you said 30 million viewers 30 million views you know what You're fucking crazy that is, Joey Diaz?

[1395] What was the show with the good -looking singer?

[1396] I wish that she was Jesse's girl.

[1397] Oh, Rick Springfield, General Hospital.

[1398] Okay, then I watch that.

[1399] That I watched that.

[1400] But it wasn't even him.

[1401] See, if he was with Laura, that made sense.

[1402] He's a handsome son of a bitch that Rick Springfield.

[1403] You know, and he was a double threat.

[1404] He was on General Hospital, and he was a badass singer.

[1405] That Jesse's girl, that song, if you're at fucking, like, wild wings, and Jesse's girl comes on, you get excited.

[1406] The beginning of it.

[1407] We can't find a woman like that.

[1408] Jesse's girl.

[1409] He's still out there hitting it.

[1410] Still touring.

[1411] Yeah, he's still touring.

[1412] I think he was at the Canyon Club in Agora.

[1413] He's out there.

[1414] That dude was, when I was in high school, that dude was on top of the fucking food chain.

[1415] Every girl had a poster hill on the wall.

[1416] Yeah, I remember.

[1417] Me too.

[1418] He's in Lake Tahoe next month.

[1419] February.

[1420] Good for him.

[1421] It's crazy that whatever soap opera was on from 12 to 1 was a big, soap opera and there was a bar in New York and there was a bar in New Jersey in my neighborhood that if you walked in there from 12 to 1 and you said a word somebody would tell you to shut the fuck up and it was 98 % men and they would serve lunch and it was the one I would go to was the midtown lounge but there was another one so there was a lunchtime soap opera yeah that men left their jobs for construction guys and they would sit there and watch this soap on two TVs like it was a Yankee game what the fuck and then they would go back to work how strange is that how strange is that that that was a thing it was a big thing at one point in time and I still remember you know if you dated a girl and she stayed in on Wednesdays to watch dynasty bitch you stayed in on dynasty night if that's what it meant they're going to get a nooky cookie that makes sense for like today it's translatable you know Sunday night Game of Thrones is on or whatever night it's on it's like people do get together and they watch it live as it goes on.

[1422] That makes sense.

[1423] What doesn't make sense is that the market for those kind of soap operas was, like, it was appealing to men and high school kids.

[1424] Like, we were all watching it.

[1425] Who shot J .R., bro?

[1426] That was Dallas.

[1427] No, no, no, I understand.

[1428] But now we're talking, then, not only were they sucking you in the daytime in those days.

[1429] This is all the 80s.

[1430] We're talking about the 80s, correct?

[1431] Yeah, okay.

[1432] What the fuck was.

[1433] was going on at night.

[1434] Both, right?

[1435] You had Dallas, and you had, what was the one on ABC with Alexis Carrington and...

[1436] The Dynasty.

[1437] And the Dynasty, that was badass.

[1438] That girl right now, the chick who played the princess on that, that was supposed to be Alexis's daughter, and she was having an affair with Dexter, she's the one right now that's going through that thing with her daughter in the sex ring.

[1439] up in Connecticut there was like a sex ring Novo or whatever She's a princess In real life A duchess, yes She's the one that's going through all that With the daughter I remember her being on Dynasty as a hot Hot And she was Alexis's daughter But Dexter was Alexis's husband She had something for Dexter Dexter Dexter how good of a name is that Look at that cast.

[1440] Joan Collins.

[1441] She was still hot back then.

[1442] She's the original milf, right?

[1443] Yeah.

[1444] For sure, because she was super hot.

[1445] How old do you think she was back then?

[1446] 50?

[1447] Yeah, she was 51, and she was fucking Dex Dexter.

[1448] She was hot as fuck.

[1449] And look at Ricardo Montembaum.

[1450] How much that dude got paid on that fucking island.

[1451] Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[1452] How they haven't done a remake of Fantasy Fountain Island?

[1453] They did?

[1454] They did.

[1455] A comic.

[1456] Well, a couple of comics went out there and did it.

[1457] Yeah, they had, they had, they had, they had, it was on TV for a little bit.

[1458] No, they fucking, it wasn't the love boat.

[1459] Was it the love boat?

[1460] Am I confusing it?

[1461] I think so.

[1462] The love boat came on before fucking, uh, no, but I mean a new version of it.

[1463] Was, there was either a new version of the love boat or a new version of Fantasy Island.

[1464] It was one of the two.

[1465] Neither one were showing up.

[1466] Neither one.

[1467] Dynasty actually was remade.

[1468] But it was in the 90s.

[1469] It was, um, it was, um, it was in the 90s.

[1470] because um do you remember jerry red wilson the next year i bless the show jerry red wilson was supposed to be uh filming that what was it which one was about the next week the love both jerry red wilson was supposed to be filming that show and he uh went to a doctor and turned on he had meningitis and i i guess apparently he left the doctor's office because he didn't want to wait because he was He had to go on a honeymoon.

[1471] And he, by the time he got there, I guess flying when you have, that's really bad.

[1472] But the time he got there, he died.

[1473] Or he died shortly after.

[1474] It's horrible.

[1475] Horrible to hear.

[1476] He was a good guy.

[1477] He was a good guy and a funny guy.

[1478] Funny guy.

[1479] He had a lot of fucking character.

[1480] I worked with that kid a lot in New York.

[1481] We did gigs together on the road together a little bit, too.

[1482] That was a good little clique.

[1483] I remember living in Seattle, and he came up.

[1484] Louis C .K. All those guys were all coming up together at that time in New York.

[1485] So it was a good bunch of guys, you know?

[1486] Yeah.

[1487] They do remake a lot of fucking television shows, though.

[1488] I mean, it is fucking ridiculous.

[1489] They remake so many shows.

[1490] It makes it like, is it that hard to come up with a new line of thought?

[1491] Like, how many more zombie shows are they going to have?

[1492] They have a new zombie show, right?

[1493] I think they're making World War Z as a TV.

[1494] Isn't it in China, but there's a new Walking Dead in China now, I think.

[1495] Like, okay.

[1496] Jesus Christ, I think I know what's going to happen, bad things.

[1497] You know, like you have, when you were growing up, I don't know what the fuck you grew up.

[1498] Let's just say Boston for a while.

[1499] There was one fucking sandwich shop, and you went in there all the time, a little Italian guy, and he made you a legit sandwich.

[1500] And all of a sudden, another guy opened up, but that was cool.

[1501] But now Subway came, and now the Safeway started making sandwiches.

[1502] So now nobody's making money.

[1503] It's the same thing with movies and TV.

[1504] It's like there's so much content, we can't keep up with it.

[1505] Can't keep up.

[1506] You can't keep up with the amount of content that's out there.

[1507] So when you try to remake a show, I want it to be, they remake a ton of shit, but they forget the main element of it, which is the heart aspect of it.

[1508] Let me tell you something you got to say.

[1509] that's good that's out right now on Amazon Prime Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

[1510] Tremendous.

[1511] Have you seen it?

[1512] Have you watched it?

[1513] Yeah, yeah.

[1514] There are two episodes of my wife.

[1515] Yeah, she's a stand -up comic and she's hanging out with Lenny Bruce.

[1516] It's fucking amazing.

[1517] It's a good show.

[1518] It's a real good show.

[1519] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1520] It's a real good show.

[1521] That's the first show I've ever watched on Amazon Prime.

[1522] It's very easy to do.

[1523] You just set it up through the Apple TV.

[1524] My wife has done the whole thing.

[1525] It's fucking things.

[1526] It's like, but the thing about things like Apple TV or Netflix that are so good is once you're logged in it's right there right you go to it it's easy we're so lazy now that the extra step to log in to another service whether it's whatever it is you know another thing on top of the getting on to iTunes I got to one more thing oh my God I gotta use my password you're like that little extra step even just setting it up once you get it set up you can just go to it but before you do that that extra step bothers the shit out of people for whatever reason.

[1527] It's easy.

[1528] It's easy.

[1529] It's not hard to do, though.

[1530] I just have my wife program for me on my iPad.

[1531] I don't know nothing.

[1532] You don't know nothing?

[1533] I got into plane.

[1534] I put it into airplane mode.

[1535] I hit the Wi -Fi thing and next thing you know, I'm watching fucking TV.

[1536] I get it.

[1537] I try to keep it.

[1538] Like, right now, I'm on the second time of watching Narcos Mexico because I like the acting so much.

[1539] The guy, Diego Luna, Joe Rogan, he ain't no joke, though.

[1540] That dude was in Dumontamin.

[1541] It's such a difference.

[1542] He's such a badass motherfucker.

[1543] I don't want to spoil it for you, but fuck you.

[1544] If you haven't watched it by now, you're slipping.

[1545] Yeah, I only watched the first two seasons.

[1546] You got a...

[1547] You watched the Pablo seasons.

[1548] Yeah.

[1549] Which were he was very good.

[1550] He was a very good actor.

[1551] I enjoyed him.

[1552] Then the third season went about the Colleen Cartel.

[1553] And that was okay This Mexican one this Cinelloa one This is where Felipe's broke When you watch this shit It explains a lot why Felipe is the way Felipe is I tell you what If I could move to Cinaloa I would I belong down there It's just a city full of fucking Fucking crazy thieves and shit You know, they're just crazy And they figured out how to grow weed in the desert And they were making $30 million a week A bunch of crazed fucking Indians Oh, we never found out how much, what percentage of marijuana did weed used to have?

[1554] You were right, but it's also really hard to test back then and they could bust it.

[1555] Yeah, they weren't testing back to the testing.

[1556] Right, right.

[1557] The strongest weed I was smoking back then was chocolate tie weed.

[1558] That weed made you go fucking crazy.

[1559] Someone did explain to me the difference between strains that were raised in Afghanistan and strains that came from other places.

[1560] Right, like right now Dean, our friend from the store.

[1561] he got a seed from Afghaniweed from the old days.

[1562] Shit.

[1563] So he repolonized it, I guess, the word to use is...

[1564] Is that the word?

[1565] And he keeps trying to get that seed.

[1566] But I still remember smoking Afghani weed.

[1567] You were going for a ride.

[1568] You were going for a ride, but your tolerance is so high now.

[1569] And the weed you're smoking is weapon grade.

[1570] I mean, you are smoking some of the most insane wheat.

[1571] I had a vape pen the other day.

[1572] A simple little vape pen.

[1573] I took one hit.

[1574] obliterated.

[1575] I couldn't believe Oh, God damn strongly are now.

[1576] You got to be really careful now.

[1577] I was cocky.

[1578] I was treating it like the old ones, especially those disposable ones.

[1579] You could take three, four hits before you even feel it.

[1580] One hit, abliterated.

[1581] Especially since I stopped with the edibles, that changed the game on me. Yeah.

[1582] The edible drop, changed the game on me. You 100 % off the edibles?

[1583] 100%.

[1584] I got our buddy, George, has 1 ,000 milligrams ram edibles, and he gave me two bags.

[1585] I think, like, tonight, I'll take a bite out of the edible because it's Christmas.

[1586] But I had to cut it out because it was just killing me. It was taken away from my other high.

[1587] I enjoyed taking two hits off a pipe in the morning.

[1588] Gets me going, gets me listen to music.

[1589] I'm writing a little bit.

[1590] I'm loose.

[1591] I love being loose.

[1592] I went to Muay at 9.

[1593] I had two hits in me. You know what I'm saying?

[1594] I enjoy that shit.

[1595] I can't.

[1596] When I go on the road, I don't bring a pipe.

[1597] So I got to bring joints with me. If I got to come down off the 11th floor and walk two blocks, I got to smoke the whole fucking joint.

[1598] So I got to go back to my room and pass out.

[1599] Like, that's how strong the weed is.

[1600] Like, it just kills me, especially now that I'm not eating them anymore.

[1601] Yeah.

[1602] Just kills me. Mummifies me. I go back to the room.

[1603] I watch two, three episodes of something.

[1604] I got to take an app.

[1605] There's some scientists making weed now.

[1606] I mean, they've gotten, they've got real botanists involved.

[1607] There's money in it now.

[1608] And now that it's opening up in Canada, it's going to be really weird.

[1609] Because in Canada, they're making it legal, right?

[1610] It's legal now.

[1611] So I'm pretty sure R .J. Reynolds, is that who it was?

[1612] It just dumped a shit ton of money into some marijuana production in Canada.

[1613] That's going to follow suit the United States.

[1614] There's too much money involved in it.

[1615] And it's going to be good for everybody.

[1616] It's going to be good for capitalism.

[1617] It's going to be good for people getting marijuana.

[1618] as long as regular people can sell marijuana too.

[1619] Let fucking R .J. Reynolds, as long as they don't put some restrictions.

[1620] Like they were trying to put, was it you, Jamie, they told me about what they were trying to do in Ohio, where they were trying to make it set up where you could grow weed, but only a couple companies could grow it.

[1621] So the weed would be legal, but only a couple companies would monopolize.

[1622] And then everybody was like, fuck this.

[1623] But they ended up passing it, I believe.

[1624] That's terrible.

[1625] it's sad that that I mean that's such a corruption that's like saying okay you could have tomatoes but we're the only ones who grow these fucking tomatoes like why it's a tomato that's a law against nature so you're saying that nature can't take place I can't put a seed in the ground and grow my own shit get the fuck out of here is it legal it's legal it's legal okay how's it different than corn how's it different than a fucking a pear tree it's not it's a legal life form it's a life form it's a plant you're allowed to grow it and if you say you can't grow it you got to a corrupt system.

[1626] You got some bullshit law that you weaseled in because you greased up some assholes and the other people don't have as much money as you do.

[1627] It's the only reason why that ever happens.

[1628] Or people are so desperate to get legal weed that they let some dickhead dominate the entire industry, some greedy fuck.

[1629] No, the deal is it's legal or it's not legal?

[1630] Otherwise, we're in some sort of a weird dictatorship.

[1631] You know, this is not you can't just decide it's legal but you're the only one who gets to make money?

[1632] Fuck you.

[1633] It's a plant.

[1634] That's crazy.

[1635] Imagine if you owned all the pine trees in the country.

[1636] It's all me. It's my country.

[1637] My pine trees.

[1638] You want to buy pine?

[1639] You're buying it from me. I find you with a fucking Christmas tree.

[1640] I'll take you out.

[1641] It's crazy.

[1642] Now, what happened last week with Como?

[1643] I don't know.

[1644] In New York.

[1645] He said he wants to legalize weed in New York.

[1646] Yeah, he wants to make it recreationally legal in New York.

[1647] Stupid to shoot down.

[1648] You should be making money off of it.

[1649] It exists no matter what you do.

[1650] If you're a capitalist, if you're a person who believes in a free market, you already have whiskey.

[1651] You already have pills.

[1652] People can get high.

[1653] They're not sober.

[1654] They're just not.

[1655] Stop with the childish arguments.

[1656] Give the fucking people freedom and make money off it, you dummies.

[1657] That's what everybody should be doing.

[1658] They should make it legal and profit off it.

[1659] And they shouldn't stop with that either.

[1660] It should go to mushrooms.

[1661] She should go to a lot of different things.

[1662] They should set up clinics.

[1663] set up places where people can go through mushroom therapy, people that are suffering, they're coming back from the war, PTSD, you know, there's so many different benefits for it, depression, people that are getting ready to, you know, to pass away.

[1664] They have extreme anxiety.

[1665] A lot of that is alleviated by mushrooms.

[1666] People that have gone through, like, extensive cancer treatment and realize they're terminal.

[1667] One of the best things for these people is mushrooms.

[1668] It helps them ease their pain and suffering in their last dying days.

[1669] It doesn't seem to have any negative effects, you know, other than the occasional person losing their fucking marbles, which is going to happen no matter what you do.

[1670] It's something that should be studied, and it's something that should be free, and it could benefit people, so it should be fucking legal.

[1671] I think if everybody models what Colorado's doing, people will see it.

[1672] You know, there's a lot of naysayers in this business, and they don't understand that.

[1673] In Colorado, you get tax rebates.

[1674] Not only that, Colorado's real estate went through the fucking room.

[1675] Yeah, you know, this is this is something that I hope most states go for, and I know that there's a back angle to it, it's a gateway drug, it's this, it's that, it depends what you do with it.

[1676] The only argument is traffic fatalities.

[1677] This is the only argument.

[1678] Have we had a lot of fat, traffic fatalities?

[1679] There's been an increase in traffic fatalities.

[1680] But what I've read is it depends on who the problem is, it's hard to find the study that's absolutely correct.

[1681] Some say there's been an increase.

[1682] Some say the increase corresponds to the population increase.

[1683] I've read that, too.

[1684] I don't know if that's true.

[1685] But that kind of makes sense that if you get more people in the city, you're going to have more people driving.

[1686] You're going to have more traffic accidents, period.

[1687] So if the number just goes up, but the population is increased by 14 % or whatever it's done, that would kind of make sense.

[1688] But also, let's be honest, some people don't drive very well when they're high.

[1689] And if you're out there driving high and spacing out, you're a fucking idiot, you might slam into a car.

[1690] That's entirely possible too.

[1691] And to deny that that's possible seems silly.

[1692] But I think that it's like everything else.

[1693] There's people that are responsible people and there's people that aren't.

[1694] And there's people that are good drivers and there's people that aren't.

[1695] There's people that drive distracted.

[1696] There's people that don't pay attention to shit.

[1697] And then there's people that do.

[1698] Whether they're high or sober.

[1699] I would rather have you driving high than a lot of people driving sober.

[1700] I know you don't fuck with your phone when you're driving.

[1701] I've seen you drive.

[1702] You drive.

[1703] You take it fucking seriously.

[1704] You look around.

[1705] You're not interested in getting any stupid car accident because you weren't paying attention.

[1706] I've seen you drive.

[1707] I'll fucking take you high any day of the week.

[1708] I'll drive.

[1709] I drive.

[1710] I drive very defensively.

[1711] I drive very defensively.

[1712] I watch everything.

[1713] I watch everything coming from all angles.

[1714] Especially today.

[1715] You have to double check everything when you drive.

[1716] Yeah.

[1717] Our dear friend, Wendy Leibman got hit by a car, dog.

[1718] Yeah, I heard.

[1719] Three weeks ago.

[1720] Crossing the fucking street.

[1721] She broke both her legs.

[1722] Yeah.

[1723] I want people to understand that you have to have your eyes on.

[1724] open at all time.

[1725] I don't take nothing for granted.

[1726] I don't care if that guy's stopping that.

[1727] When I'm making that right, I'm watching that, motherfucker.

[1728] Plus, I got to watch for pedestrians.

[1729] Because they will walk out anywhere.

[1730] Next thing on that, you're dragging a guy three fucking blocks.

[1731] So I did not know that Wendy was hit by a car.

[1732] I knew she was in a car accent.

[1733] No, she got hit by a car.

[1734] And she was in the right away, the whole thing.

[1735] I mean, somebody was telling me the story.

[1736] I mean, it was just you have to pay fucking attention.

[1737] So I drive.

[1738] There's only a little New York in my drive.

[1739] There's only a little New York in my drive.

[1740] Number two, I drive away from people.

[1741] I do take the two or three car lanes.

[1742] I never did that until about ten years ago.

[1743] Whoever ended somebody.

[1744] You know, we're driving in a place where you have to assume unless you're fucking stupid.

[1745] That 30 % of the people for the last 10 years have been driving high.

[1746] Then you've got to add another 20 % for people that are texting and driving.

[1747] Then you've got to add another 10 % for people who are just visiting here and are looking around and going, oh my God, look how beautiful California is.

[1748] It's a fuck, every time you get in a car, you have to drive a certain way.

[1749] Was it how I thought 20 years ago?

[1750] No, I want to get there.

[1751] Why do you think I'm against high -speed car?

[1752] I want to do 90, Joe I'm getting a Porsche I'm doing 90 I ripped the ticket up You give me a ticket I'm ripping it up I knew you were going to get one of those Cadillacs for a while But you decided not to I got a foot you ever see my feet My foot just very large They're very large and once they rest on you It's 90 Okay so your foot's resting on that gas bell I made it to San Diego And back Don't say anybody Don't tell me No, we've got to tell people the secret.

[1753] It's not illegal.

[1754] Okay.

[1755] I'm sick and tired of people coming to me going, oh, my God, the drive to San Diego was horrific.

[1756] What time did you go?

[1757] One in the afternoon.

[1758] Can I smack you now or should I smack you in the mouth later?

[1759] That's four hours.

[1760] That's three and a half.

[1761] Isn't that crazy that it takes that long?

[1762] But if you get in your car at 9 and you do fucking 80, because all you need to do is get out of L .A. Once you pass the Commerce Casino It's a river dirty Nobody gives a Frenchman's fuck You stay in that second to left lane And you're just doing 75 -80 It's an hour An hour 45 On the way back I made it from La Jolla in an hour 30 Because that's the easy route As soon as you hit the 5 north You're banging out All the way to Camp Pendleton You're hitting 80 You know what I'm saying?

[1763] You don't give a fuck.

[1764] It's a weird area.

[1765] You've got fucking serious on, it's nobody out there.

[1766] It's a weird area, though, too, when you're coming back from San Diego because it's militarized.

[1767] And then you're hitting 80, 80, 80, 80.

[1768] Then when the road starts to thin, that means you're about to hit immigration.

[1769] They're going to ask you if you got oranges.

[1770] You know, they're never out there.

[1771] Those motherfuckers haven't been out there since 9 -11, all right?

[1772] You just, once I hit that point, I kick it to 100 until I hit Irvine.

[1773] Once I hit Irvine Spectrum, I come down until about 80, 80, 80, 80, and then I see LA, 19 miles, back up to 100, but then you're going to hit traffic.

[1774] Oh, my God.

[1775] Because you're going to hit the 10, the 5.

[1776] Everybody's hooking up.

[1777] You can get on the 101, but then I get back on that 134, and that 134, the 5 goes until the 134, and next thing you're home, no drama.

[1778] The night driving from San Diego Is the way to do it Yeah, you definitely want to drive home after the gig You don't want to wait for the morning Fuck, no Sometimes you're so tired, you're scared No, no, that morning That morning adds two hours No, you stop, you get yourself a nice coffee And you fucking zang it all the way back to Los Angeles No, you're right, that's what you definitely should do But man, you know what the key for folks Who you worry about falling asleep in your car while you're driving, get a rag or a t -shirt and get some ice.

[1779] It's the best.

[1780] Wet rag with ice in it is the best.

[1781] Just rub it on your face real quick and wakes you right the fuck up and it lasts for a few minutes.

[1782] And then just do it again a few minutes later and you'll be fine the whole way home.

[1783] If you can keep ice in a like a washcloth or something like that with ice in it and it gets wet, just keep rubbing your face.

[1784] It's better than anything.

[1785] I used to smack myself in the face.

[1786] When I was getting up early in the morning to do newspapers, when I was delivering newspapers, and then I would do gigs at night.

[1787] I was fucking tired, man. And I would be coming back, you know, at midnight from this gig.

[1788] And I knew I had to get up at 5 a .m. to deliver newspapers, depending upon the day.

[1789] And I would just fucking smack myself in the face because I was falling asleep at the wheel.

[1790] I would just feel my eyes getting heavy and I'm opening them up and I couldn't keep it.

[1791] I'd just fucking whack.

[1792] And if you whack yourself in the face, it lasts for like a couple of minutes.

[1793] Like, you're like, gee, I would just, my whole face would be stinging.

[1794] You know, it's like seriously slap my face.

[1795] myself really hard in the face I was never a fucking coffee guy like I was as a kid I mingled in Cuban coffee but I just strayed away from it so when I first started triple runs I would have my kid at two in the afternoons on Sunday and I would get off stage in Boise Idaho at 1130 on a triple run my car would be filled with gas and I'd get in it and I'd inhale four or five of those no dose and I would go to a gas station and get the biggest mountain do they ever had in their life and that would go for six hours I would eat no does but one of the worst experiences I ever had was I was falling asleep like I was done and it was fucking 10 below zero you know and I pulled over on the side of the road I turned my lights on I put the brake lights on and I kicked the seat back and laid down with the heat blasting and the car was on and at one point I broke and I opened up my eyes and I thought I had lost control in the car in your mind you feel like it but I lose can I remember holding onto the steering wheel and my heart almost stopping going thank God I didn't get fucking hit here but I was in no -dose this is way before Blue Bull, Red Bull, whatever that shit is but I still remember doing coke all night and shooting a short film for Fox and I never forget the fucking they gave me two red bulls i drank two of them and i still fell asleep and this is that i go red bull sucks the fuck is a red bull gonna do you used to have a joke about it yeah yeah i'm gonna fuck a coke you do yeah the fucking red bull don't do dick hey what do you think of this john jones shit what's going on do you know what's happened the ufc's moving from Vegas i saw this last night when i got home from the comedy store break it down for me i'm having Jeff Novitsky come on and break it down scientifically on Thursday.

[1796] A lot of people are calling bullshit, including Daniel Cormier.

[1797] I talked to Cormier on the phone.

[1798] He was like, he tested positive again.

[1799] Can you believe this shit?

[1800] And they're going to let him fight.

[1801] I found out about it from Cormier.

[1802] Cormier told him, they're going to move the fight to L .A. I go, no. He goes, yes, Joe.

[1803] They're moving the fight to L .A. I'm like, no, this can't be real.

[1804] It didn't seem real.

[1805] I'm like, I don't believe this.

[1806] I looked at his Cormier's Twitter, and I said, it said he test positive again.

[1807] And then I looked that one, what?

[1808] This is like first thing in the morning.

[1809] And he's like, again!

[1810] Again!

[1811] But, from what I understand, from reading Ariel Helwani's transcript of his interview with Andy Foster and hearing what Jeff Novitsky has had to say about it.

[1812] What it is is the amount of it is so infinitesimal and it's the exact same metabolite that he had been screened for, that he tested positive for a year ago, and that this shit could stay in a system in those kind of sizes of the molecule.

[1813] It's like some 500 millionth of a grain of sand or something like that.

[1814] See, Google what the actual number of, like, how small this molecule is.

[1815] So Andy Foster has said, again, through this transcription of this interview that he did with Ariel Halwani, that it's the same metabolite for the same substance that he tested positive for, that this is the same instance, that the number of it, and it indicates that this is something he's already been punished for.

[1816] It's the same exact.

[1817] He's already gone through his steps, and this is just an infinitesimally small metabolite.

[1818] That's what I'm hearing.

[1819] So I would love to hear someone who doesn't think that that's the case, that thinks there might be some way to game the system.

[1820] And the big thought that people always bring up when it comes to this stuff is microdosing, someone microdosing.

[1821] Like, you're the one who told me about that first.

[1822] You were telling me about somebody.

[1823] Alex Rodriguez.

[1824] Yeah, who is taking like gummy bears.

[1825] And the seventh inning.

[1826] And he was, so he would be up for the seventh, eighth, eighth, and ninth inning.

[1827] But by the time the 10th inning came, if they tested him, it would be out of his system.

[1828] So I would imagine the testing is better now, and this is one of the things is that Nubitsky wants to get into, that the testing is far superior now, so you're able to pick up these metabolites in much, much smaller quantities.

[1829] Okay.

[1830] So this test is from December 9th.

[1831] Yes.

[1832] I want to see what his test was leading up to that and since then.

[1833] Apparently was clean before that.

[1834] He said we were notified early this month of an issue.

[1835] He has had over his most recent tests were a very small amount.

[1836] I'll, in fact, describe how small it is, of a long -term metabolite substance called D -H -C -M -T known as Oral Turinibal, which is the reason, for its most recent suspension a year and a half ago, a very, very small amount.

[1837] But there was a number that...

[1838] I thought he said it too, but I don't know why it's not there.

[1839] Where does it say the number?

[1840] There was an...

[1841] He said like rice or...

[1842] Yeah, something like how much smaller it is than a grain of rice.

[1843] Is it...

[1844] Can't find it.

[1845] Yeah.

[1846] I'm just trying to find it.

[1847] Yeah, look, I get how everybody would be fucking pissed.

[1848] I get how everybody would think that he's a cheater, he's cheating again.

[1849] I get that you would think that.

[1850] But I don't know if that's true.

[1851] And if it's not true, it would be a shame to accuse him of it.

[1852] If it is the same stuff that was in his system that was ruled to be from a tainted supplement, here it is.

[1853] a picogram is one trillionth of a gram Navitsky said if you put one grain of salt on a table and split it up into 50 million pieces a picogram is one of those pieces of that gram of salt which is insane so that grain of salt it's 50 million times large or smaller than that it's crazy so it's very very very very small so if this is true and they believe it's true and the guy who runs the California State Athletic Commission, Andy Foster, I have a great deal, tremendous amount of respect for that guy, very proactive with weight cutting, very proactive with weight classes, very proactive with a lot of the rules, he's really good.

[1854] If he believes that this has scientifically been proven to be from the same exact thing that he already's been punished for, I agree with them.

[1855] I just, that guy knows what the fuck he's talking about, and he's legit.

[1856] So is Novitsky, so are these people that are all set.

[1857] saying that it's legit.

[1858] Here's the question, though.

[1859] Have other people been still punished for the exact same crime?

[1860] Have other people tested positive again for the exact same thing?

[1861] This I do not know.

[1862] And I don't know if people are looking into that.

[1863] If there is any preferential treatment, that would be where the argument would be with preferential treatment.

[1864] These fucking tainted supplements are a legitimate problem.

[1865] I mean, Novitsky showed us hundreds and hundreds of supplements you could buy at any store that has you know vitamins and muscle builders and all those kind of things that test positive for steroids there's a shit ton of them out there man you can get a lot of stuff in these systems but then there's also people that are taking steroids so how do you know who's who the only way to find out who's who is don't take shit don't take anything let's this third party test it don't take anything controversial don't take anything squirrely and uh sometimes people do It's fucked up that, you know, maybe they like a supplement, maybe they've had good results with it, and then they get one bad batch.

[1866] That's possible, too.

[1867] I just want to know that this was from December 9th.

[1868] I want to know what the levels of that drug they found were before December 9th.

[1869] It takes a long time to go away.

[1870] I understand.

[1871] So, but every time you urine, the levels should get lower and lower and lower.

[1872] I think what they're saying is this is the lowest detectable number.

[1873] So there's no lower than this.

[1874] So they should have found this before.

[1875] Maybe not.

[1876] Maybe not.

[1877] See, these numbers, the way it's been explained to me, again, I'm not a fucking scientist.

[1878] But the way it's been explained to me, this number is so small that it could conceivably be tested in one test and not tested another test.

[1879] And then also, as the testing procedures get more and more thorough, they get better at it, they're detecting things they couldn't detect maybe even just a year ago.

[1880] The technology is continuing to grow, and they're getting much better at understanding how to use it and how to advance it.

[1881] So it's not as simple as you test positive a year ago, you test negative today.

[1882] Like, they might have better methods of detection today than they had a year ago.

[1883] You've got arrested today, Joe.

[1884] The judge is going to say, Joe Rogan, I'm releasing you on bail, but the DA wants you to take a urine test and samples and if you come back dirty.

[1885] The first UA is free.

[1886] They know who Joe Rogan is.

[1887] You're going to go in there, and your T .HC levels are going to be off the chain.

[1888] This is going to be off the chain.

[1889] This is going to be off the chain.

[1890] When they come back, they're going to call you.

[1891] And they're going to go Joe Rogan.

[1892] This is what it was now.

[1893] This is this.

[1894] The next time we test you, it better not be high than 26 percent because we know you're using.

[1895] This is in 1987.

[1896] The lady told me, I'll know if you're using it or not.

[1897] and I stayed to the program and it went down, down, down, down, down.

[1898] And then I joined the voluntary group.

[1899] And my buddy sent me an eighth of Thai weed.

[1900] And I remember smoking a joint and going back.

[1901] And the guy's like, dog, did you smoke a joint before you came in for the test?

[1902] It was like levels we've never seen before.

[1903] This is, I'm telling you about this.

[1904] This is a funny joke and whatever.

[1905] But I want to see the test before.

[1906] the ninth and I want to see the test the most recent test those levels had to go down I understand what you're saying Joe but it's not necessarily correct unless he did the steroid during non -competition season which they're allowed to do whatever the fuck they're not that's not true they're never allowed to do that no they can never take steroids there's a banned list of things they can never ever have in their system say if you're not fighting they'll still test you say if you don't have a camp you're not in a camp you don't have a bout lined up they still test you they'll not hey joey dyes how are you come on in the bathroom we're going to get some get some fluids from you now i don't know if they're using just urine or if it's urine and blood i'm not sure with the protocol but i do know that it's very thorough and they're catching people for things that they would have never caught them for in the past and this is one of the things about this test it could possibly be as it's been explained to me that this this number is so fucking small that they might not even even been able to detect it a year ago, that this number, this insanely small number, there's new levels of detection now, whereas he would be completely negative X amount of time in the past.

[1907] Now they can test it, and they can find that insanely 50 millionth of a grain of salt size particle.

[1908] It's so fucking small that they weren't able to catch something like that X amount of time in the past, whether it's a year ago or two years, but now they can.

[1909] And in the future, it's going to be even better.

[1910] They're going to keep getting better at this stuff as they advanced the technology.

[1911] That's, as it's been explained to me, what you're seeing here.

[1912] What you're seeing here is not evidence of new drug use.

[1913] It's evidence that the testing is far better and that he has this exact same metabolite and he definitely did have it in the system because they're finding it a year later in his tiny amount.

[1914] His body hasn't completely gotten rid of it yet.

[1915] Still in there.

[1916] The question is, how long does that stuff stay in your system?

[1917] They've said through normal detection, I believe Google this, make sure this is correct, but through normal detection, it's not, I mean, from whatever the time they wrote this stuff out, I believe they were saying it could be detected up to 18 months.

[1918] But again, as this technology gets better and they can detect smaller and smaller particles, it's potentially possible that that might extend.

[1919] So it might not just be 18 months, it might be 19 or 20, or who knows how long it takes for your body to get rid of that shit.

[1920] Now the guys like Cornere and Gustafsson and guys that you know they look at this is where they smoke this fire, Joe Roe.

[1921] Yes.

[1922] And they have a point too.

[1923] And they have a point also.

[1924] I'm not mad at them for that.

[1925] I'm a big fan of John Jones personally.

[1926] I am too.

[1927] For what he does I love him to death when I saw him in Albuquerque came to the show, we laughed.

[1928] I don't think, I don't know what to think anymore.

[1929] You know, I don't know what to think.

[1930] This one really, you know, and I feel bad.

[1931] You and I both know this is the card of the year.

[1932] It's a phenomenal card.

[1933] This is the card when people fly in and they make plans around it and they do a bunch of stuff around it.

[1934] I feel bad for those people.

[1935] I know what this is like for them.

[1936] They just lost this Saturday night activity.

[1937] Well, in Vegas, it takes a big hit too because this was going to be taking place in Vegas all those people are going to be in town it's going to be a tremendous amount of money for the casinos and you know I'm sure it was a lot of money for them there it was a big thing to have there in a bigger arena so they're moving it to the forum which is a smaller place the forum in inglewood is I don't know how much smaller it is the T -Mobile arena but he said he was uh Dana was saying he could make about six million dollars on the gate at T -Mobile arena and he's going to be lucky to make a million in the forum that makes sense it's just uh it's different prices to in Vegas and also the fact that it's such short timing.

[1938] I don't know what they do with the original tickets.

[1939] I don't know how it works.

[1940] This is what happened, the very first UFC I ever did.

[1941] The very first UFC ever worked was in Dothan, Alabama, UFC 12, but it was supposed to be New York State.

[1942] They canceled in New York State.

[1943] They wouldn't let them do it, and they switched the whole thing overnight down to Dothan, Alabama.

[1944] They take one of them helicopter planes and fly in a fucking Dothan.

[1945] It was weird.

[1946] It was weird back then, man. but that's uh that's the only time i've ever heard of something changing this close to that was one day this is one week i've never heard of an event changing like this before not that i can remember i don't know what the fuck is happening i really don't but they seem very confident that you're not dealing with someone who's taking a drug again you're dealing with the very same drug that he took x amount of months ago still in a system the drug that he's already been punished for I understand that people get mad But you don't want to accuse someone of something That they're not really guilty of He's definitely guilty of taking it the first time People are accusing him of being stupid and taking it again I don't think that's true I don't know for a fact But what I'm reading from actual experts Leads me to believe that they're making sense But I would have to you know I'd have to talk to someone who disagrees who knows more about it than me to really form an opinion.

[1947] So my opinion is like, well, if I had a bet, I would say he probably didn't do anything.

[1948] But I would like to talk to someone who's like a real fucking expert who could break down exactly what the process is.

[1949] It could tell you if it is even possible that this could be from another ingestion somewhere along the line.

[1950] And you let me tell what the sad, sad thing about this whole situation is that it really, really from the bottom of the line.

[1951] My heart was a great card.

[1952] Oh, it's a great card.

[1953] You know, when BJ Penn's on a card and nobody even talks about it.

[1954] Yeah.

[1955] Nobody even mentioned BJ Penn. Well, you know, BJ's had some tough fights.

[1956] I was looking for Carlos and Michael Chiazza, you know, Amanda Nunez and Cyborg.

[1957] I haven't slept for a week trying to figure that.

[1958] Put the card on the other.

[1959] Trying to figure that fight out.

[1960] John Jones Gustafin, just to look at it, let's pretend it's still in Vegas.

[1961] You know, you got a guy who's been active, a guy who's been fighting, a guy who's angry, a guy who felt he beat John Jones the first time against a very, very talented, dangerous, and rested, John Jones.

[1962] Is there ring dust?

[1963] You know, is there ring rust.

[1964] I'm sorry, ring dust.

[1965] What the fuck am I talking about?

[1966] You know, look at this, you know, Amanda, Chris Cyborg has been bitch -slapping motherfuckers since day one.

[1967] Amanda Nunes is something that you taught me about that's not around anymore and that's being slick.

[1968] Amanda Nunes is very slick.

[1969] She's taking out some tough opponents, you know.

[1970] She hits very hard too.

[1971] She hits very hard.

[1972] She hits very hard.

[1973] She's really long arms, really wide shoulders.

[1974] Fucking Carlos Conduit Michael Chaser.

[1975] This is a great fucking fight right here.

[1976] You know, Chad Mendes.

[1977] Alexander Volcanowski.

[1978] Fucking tremendous.

[1979] That's a great fight too.

[1980] Chad Mendes looked amazing.

[1981] his comeback fight.

[1982] When you scroll back up to the Chris Cyborg a man. I read Chris Corey Anderson's letter is real heartbreak and his wife seven months pregnant.

[1983] Now they got to get to L .A. You know, this has to be taken care of.

[1984] It's a disaster.

[1985] But this, honestly, guys, was one of those cards that I look at and go, okay, one of the main two fights.

[1986] I know favorite on paper, you got to go with Cyborg and John Jones.

[1987] But guess what, people?

[1988] You've never seen a bookie with a part -time job So somebody's got to lose one of these fights Keep scrolling if you don't mind See the thing about Chris Cyborg is She's not just good She's good and big Oh Katzen Gano Megan Anderson Andre Olavsky's fighting on this card She's Australian, you gotta say Megan Megan, whatever You know me dog I'm no fucking English major And you got BJ Penn Ryan Fucking Hall I think that's the first fight of the end It is It's the first fight of the night Crazy Yeah I saw a picture, Texangano on cable, on her Instagram the other day.

[1989] She looks phenomenal.

[1990] She looks fucking phenomenal, bro.

[1991] So it's a shame that this had to be done.

[1992] I'm sorry, I'm going to be on the time.

[1993] Listen, I'm happy that the fights are taking place.

[1994] I'm sorry.

[1995] I'm just happy that they're taking place.

[1996] I'm sorry that everybody gets their life disrupted and their families have to go from Vegas to L .A. to see the fight.

[1997] I'm sorry about all the hotel bullshit that they have to deal with.

[1998] But I'm very happy that the fight is still taking place.

[1999] I would love it if Uber ran a fucking special for people.

[2000] Just a flat.

[2001] Yeah.

[2002] Just run a flat for fucking people out of Vegas, 300.

[2003] Never going to happen.

[2004] Bro, you never know, you never know.

[2005] You never know.

[2006] People need fucking action.

[2007] Come on, let's go.

[2008] Uber, step up, bitch.

[2009] Make a flat rate for three fucking people to fucking four of them and 300 back.

[2010] People would do it.

[2011] The one's driving in Uber.

[2012] Some guy farting in a car all the way from Vegas to L .A. Get out of here.

[2013] Why would you do that when you could do that?

[2014] take a flight.

[2015] Because the flight's going to be...

[2016] Southwest's not that expensive.

[2017] Uber's more expensive.

[2018] It is on a day's notice.

[2019] Is it?

[2020] How much does Southwest cost?

[2021] It's $255.

[2022] But here's the thing.

[2023] It's $300 to drive in a car with a guy farting for three hours.

[2024] But for $300, $300, $300 .00.

[2025] Probably more.

[2026] I save $200 something, Joe Rowan.

[2027] You have to look at them from their perspective.

[2028] You know, they've already fucking taking a plane ticket.

[2029] They're losing a day of work.

[2030] This is a lot.

[2031] Well, also, they can't gamble.

[2032] Like, a lot of people love the combination of gambling and going to the fights and going to a show exactly so a lot of people are stuck a lot of people going to fuck it i just take my money from the ticket yep and stay and gamble an extra day or whatever because what's it going to cost me to uber to la get out party who are you going to go to a car that's you're trying to tell me no you want to go to a party yeah who my uh what's his name.

[2033] John Jones might be having a party.

[2034] Carlos Conduant might be having an after party.

[2035] Uriah Hall.

[2036] I think Uriah Hall's on this card, too.

[2037] Is he?

[2038] It wasn't in the...

[2039] Yeah, Uriah Hall's on this card, I think.

[2040] Is he?

[2041] Early Preelemm?

[2042] Yeah.

[2043] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2044] After BJ Penn?

[2045] Before him.

[2046] Oh, wow.

[2047] Yeah.

[2048] Yeah.

[2049] Okay, we didn't see.

[2050] Look at this part.

[2051] God knows who's having Brian Keller.

[2052] See, R. Bahadurzada's fighting Curtis Millinder.

[2053] That is a fucking sleeper fight right there.

[2054] Yeah, no. The CR is a fucking beast, man. This is very sad.

[2055] Curtis Millinder, that guy is, he's got serious potential.

[2056] He's got like superstar, future superstar potential.

[2057] He's very good.

[2058] That's a good fight.

[2059] I like that a lot.

[2060] Curtis Millinder is the one.

[2061] He fought Tiago Alves and stopped him, right?

[2062] Click on that.

[2063] Make sure that's correct.

[2064] Does it show his record?

[2065] Does it show his record?

[2066] How good?

[2067] is their website now.

[2068] It's pretty good.

[2069] Yeah, that's it.

[2070] Tiago Alves.

[2071] He beat Tiago Alves.

[2072] Yeah.

[2073] And then he beat Max Griffin.

[2074] He's a beast, man. He's very good.

[2075] Real massive future potential.

[2076] And Bahar Dezada knocks people dead.

[2077] He hits hard.

[2078] That's a sleeper fight.

[2079] That's a fight that no one's talking about.

[2080] Very, very good fight.

[2081] It's going to be a great card, man. I'm happy the card's happening.

[2082] I hope everybody gets compensated.

[2083] I'm sorry that the UFC loses money.

[2084] I'm sorry that everybody gets dragged through.

[2085] I don't understand why they couldn't just figure out this in Nevada.

[2086] It's like, I guess they're on vacation or some shit.

[2087] That's so crazy.

[2088] Like, figure it out.

[2089] Everybody.

[2090] Let's make a phone call.

[2091] Like, isn't there one person who could, like, some person should say, okay, is it to the best of your knowledge?

[2092] Absolutely from the original test.

[2093] Yes, sir, by all the science, we're going to submit the science, and we're going to show you the science.

[2094] We're going to tell you the number.

[2095] Okay, let him fight.

[2096] What the fuck are you letting him fight?

[2097] If you're going to let him fight in California, let him fucking fight.

[2098] Nevada.

[2099] Stupid.

[2100] How fucked up in bureaucracy.

[2101] It's just dumb.

[2102] Stupid.

[2103] In this case, it's stupid.

[2104] In this case, it's a fucking, they're on vacation.

[2105] Well, let's have a fucking emergency meeting.

[2106] Let's say Vegas, the tourism board in Vegas must be steaming.

[2107] Hey, ask this.

[2108] Ask this.

[2109] Google this.

[2110] Find out who's disputing.

[2111] If anybody disputes, if anybody, like, makes any sense.

[2112] If there's a scientist or someone like that who says that it could be microdosing or that it what the California State Athletic Commission's understanding of it is not correct.

[2113] Let's find out if there's anybody that has written anything about that.

[2114] I'm upset.

[2115] I just wanted this fight to take place without any bullshit behind it.

[2116] I just wanted to be a great fight.

[2117] It's an amazing match -up.

[2118] I think Gustafsson, especially against Glover, Tashara's never looked better.

[2119] He's long as John.

[2120] He's got crazy footwork.

[2121] He's the first guy to ever take John down.

[2122] it was a fucking tough fight regardless of whether or not John prepared much for it and I don't think he did prepare as good as he could have Gustafsson's better I think than he was when that fight took place I really do think he's better it's a fucking phenomenal it's an amazing fight and John's going to be so motivated to try to be to get stripped the way he got stripped all the different things that he's fucked up to have a chance of redemption he's going to be so motivated but you also have to consider the incredible amount of pressure he's going to be under too historically though he's a guy who shines under pressure I mean stop shogun in his first title fight when he was what was he 22 or something like that he's a monster John's always been good at fighting top level competition good at handling the stress this is you know this is a different kind of stress this is I fucked up stress it's not this is a big fight this is a big fight plus I fucked up and everybody knows I fucked up and this is not even the current fuck up it's reminding him of the past fuck up And then there's the other stuff, the car accident and all the other crazy shit.

[2123] All of it's bad.

[2124] But he has an opportunity at redemption.

[2125] It's just when you know how much is on the line.

[2126] Because he's undefeated, right?

[2127] Except for the Matt Hamill fight, which we know he was destroying Hamel and he was disqualified.

[2128] It wasn't a real loss like somebody beat him.

[2129] He's beating everybody.

[2130] That's unprecedented.

[2131] Outside of Kabib, Nirmagamatov, nobody beats everybody.

[2132] John's beating everybody.

[2133] So there's going to be a certain amount of people that are like, forward for him to fail and he feels that too there's a lot going on man it's a lot going on in this fight and gustafsson is fucking good you ever see the combination he knocked out clover tachara with who that's like some video game shit man it was like he was in mortal combat was tremendous his footwork everything i was really i got a work saturday night i'm working i'm an oxenot all weekend are you really yeah i forgot i thought it was this last week so i thought it was this last weekend.

[2134] So I called the store.

[2135] I called in, and then I go, fuck, no, I'm not missing that.

[2136] And I called back and canceled.

[2137] And then like Wednesday, I go, what the fuck am I thinking?

[2138] So I ended up back at the store Saturday night.

[2139] I squeezed on to Brian's show.

[2140] I got to see Tiffany Addish.

[2141] I hadn't seen her since she busted out and became a star.

[2142] It was great just to see her and bullshit with her.

[2143] And then last night I went down and there was two shows.

[2144] And it was I'm leaving.

[2145] And they're like, hey, do you want to open up for Chappelle?

[2146] I go, Chappelle, where?

[2147] And he goes, he's doing the show in the belly room.

[2148] There was a fucking line around the corner on the Sunday night.

[2149] I pulled out of that.

[2150] I was like, this is crazy.

[2151] This is getting so fucking insane.

[2152] I took two weeks off from getting on stage.

[2153] After La Jolla, I did two nights in La Jolla.

[2154] And that was tremendous, too, Joe.

[2155] Roy is amazing.

[2156] You know, La Jolla is the room you go to when you want to put.

[2157] but you want to thread that hour together.

[2158] They take the ride with you.

[2159] That's one of the few rooms that takes the ride with you.

[2160] Did you do two shows a night down there?

[2161] Yeah.

[2162] Two shows Friday, two shows night?

[2163] That place is amazing.

[2164] That's like a comedy store South.

[2165] Yeah.

[2166] It really is.

[2167] But a little bit more loose.

[2168] Yeah.

[2169] Even though it's Friday and Saturday, we'll let you try some new shit on this.

[2170] They're fun people down there, man. Very fun.

[2171] That's a nice area.

[2172] Like, San Diego has a lot of the same qualities that L .A. has.

[2173] but it's more like a little bit more the rest of the country La Jolla is beautiful I even went to Rada Jiu Jitsu I trained one day down there the place is right next to the fucking comedy store Really?

[2174] Yeah I just looked it up Called the guy That's awesome You know La Jolla is That's where you move to When you got a lot of geese That's a lot of Doesn't Dick Cheney live down there?

[2175] He lives on that Coronado Island, doesn't he?

[2176] Or Donald Rumsfeld.

[2177] I don't know who fucking lives down there.

[2178] A lot of rich dudes.

[2179] But it is just gorgeous.

[2180] You can't see it at night.

[2181] There's no lights on the streets.

[2182] There's nothing.

[2183] They encourage that.

[2184] Listen, 9 .30.

[2185] Go to bed.

[2186] Go to fucking bed.

[2187] All right.

[2188] You want to mingle?

[2189] Go to fucking down the side, whatever street.

[2190] Scotty Shore lives down there.

[2191] He showed up.

[2192] Did he?

[2193] He showed up on Saturday.

[2194] He's great.

[2195] He gave me a hug.

[2196] It was great to see him.

[2197] He had a little dog with him.

[2198] He had the little dog with him.

[2199] Because I'd do a joke about a guy getting his dick suck with a dog.

[2200] So at the end he goes, then I inspire you.

[2201] You see the dog?

[2202] I go, no, I didn't see the dog.

[2203] That's hilarious.

[2204] He came down to see Lou's still playing the piano.

[2205] I mean, the comedy store down there did not lose anything except Mitsy Shore.

[2206] Plus, it's got more shit on the walls.

[2207] that you look at and really makes you think.

[2208] There's pictures of green rooms with Jim Carrey and Paul Rodriguez and Dice Clay and Louis Anderson at the time that they didn't even know they were going to be stars.

[2209] How many shows are we done down there?

[2210] God, we did a lot of shows down there, Joe.

[2211] A lot of shows down there, though.

[2212] When did we first start working together down there?

[2213] I think the first time I...

[2214] The 90s, I think.

[2215] It was like the late 90s.

[2216] The first time I went down there with a girl comic.

[2217] Who was it?

[2218] I don't remember what her name was.

[2219] It was a very uncomfortable weekend because she was clean.

[2220] Oh, you had to stay in the condo with her?

[2221] Yeah.

[2222] Oh, that's crazy.

[2223] Oh, that's crazy.

[2224] Imagine being a girl and being forced to stay in a condo with a guy that you don't even know?

[2225] She stayed in the headliner room.

[2226] I stayed in the feature room at that time.

[2227] Still, it's weird.

[2228] Then I went down there.

[2229] She wouldn't book me down there.

[2230] But once she started booking me, she booked me a lot.

[2231] Mitzi.

[2232] Yeah, and I remember going down there one time.

[2233] And I went down there with Marilyn Martinez.

[2234] and a husband.

[2235] And we weren't there an hour.

[2236] And Mal and Martinez's husband comes out with a fucking rat.

[2237] Whoa.

[2238] With a rat.

[2239] And a trap?

[2240] A trap that he set.

[2241] He goes, we weren't here a motherfucker because the rumor was there were rats down there.

[2242] Be careful.

[2243] Ooh.

[2244] So he went down and said traps up.

[2245] Within an hour, you hear, bah.

[2246] Oh, my God.

[2247] The fucking thing had to be nine inches long.

[2248] The tail.

[2249] And I'll never forget going on the balcony and hearing them in the weeds, I packed up my little sleep apathy machine, and I fucking drove back home.

[2250] I fucking hate rats.

[2251] I fucking hate it.

[2252] Well, the store has so many rats.

[2253] That back area?

[2254] Oh, my God.

[2255] Oh, my God.

[2256] They're fucking popping out every time you're sitting back there.

[2257] There's a little, for folks who are listening to us, there's a little back bar area where only comics and their friends can go, and behind the back bar is a smoking area.

[2258] And that smoking area has these railroad ties.

[2259] These railroad ties, these rats will run in and out of these ties and over the top you see him lately all the time all the time if i'm back there for more than 15 minutes i'm seeing a rat and if you go near the the hedges by the dumpster that's where they really are where we're the back area is not that big it's the hills the hills are filled with rats the hollywood hills are filled with rats and occasionally we have cats that hang around the park and the comedy store like local feral cats but they don't get the the rats because the rats go in the fucking the vines.

[2260] Those vines that cover the side of the comedy store ramp, the ramp that leads up to the Ondaz Hotel, those vines are all rats.

[2261] That's a rat village.

[2262] It's crazy how much sound they make.

[2263] When you're parking the car, you hear them scurrying.

[2264] There's like probably hundreds of rats there.

[2265] Dude.

[2266] I know whenever I parked my car, but I dumpside closed the windows.

[2267] Because I know I don't want to jump into a car with a fucking, listen to me, I just leave fucking, I leave Aspen.

[2268] I owe like $80 ,000.

[2269] I got eight people looking for me, the cops are looking for me. I go from Aspen to Boulder, I need a job.

[2270] So I take a job making Joe, I'm not kidding you.

[2271] One 60 a week, 60 hours.

[2272] Wow.

[2273] As a fucking shag, which I'm the guy that takes a car from you in the body shop.

[2274] When you pull up, I'm the guy that takes it, and I wash it, and then they start the body work.

[2275] And then after they've done the body work, I'm the guy that washes it.

[2276] If you do that for three or four months, then they turn you into a detail.

[2277] And I passed the test, and I became a detailer.

[2278] You didn't make it $160 a week?

[2279] Oh, it was fucking garbage.

[2280] I was starving, starving.

[2281] But I was good, and I became a detailer.

[2282] The detailing was commissioned, and you made $100 to a buck $50.

[2283] a day and you know I was enjoying it but the guy I had as a boss was a dick his name was Dirk Jordan he was just a dick dog he was one of those guys that was one of us but one day he got the manager John and one then I'm back there washing a fucking car and I see a dead rat and I picked the fucking rat up and he had his jacket hanging by the door I put the dead rat in his pocket right of his jacket You know me, though I go home, I get stoned, I don't know nothing The next morning He comes in, bro, and his car is fucked up Like, he hit like a pole He reached it and fell the rat He went in his pocket to get a cigarette And he pulled the fucking rat out And he fucking just went crazy He'd hit like a pole He came in running I know who did this I'm gonna get to the bottom of this And he kept blaming some the guy.

[2284] I'm sitting all the time.

[2285] I can't get on my fucking ass.

[2286] Oh.

[2287] Bosses.

[2288] Fuck, man. That's one of the worst relationships ever.

[2289] A boss and employee.

[2290] One of the worst relationships.

[2291] Some guy gets to tell you what to do.

[2292] He's the fucking, he's the head guy at the office.

[2293] You've got to listen to this fuckhead.

[2294] That is one of the worst positions to be in, working for a guy who's a dick.

[2295] And that power that someone would have, you know, if you were, you moved on up, became the office manager You can control people's Future Control where they get a raise How much time they get off You can make the decisions Whether now you allowed them to do certain things It's a fucking terrible relationship What was the worst boss you ever had Let's come on be clean But all of them were in construction What was the first guy you looked at and said You know what If I ever see you outside of him I'm gonna fuck you up I never said that But guys in construction They would get a real dicky.

[2296] I did one time, there was a guy when I was a teenager that was talking a bunch of shit.

[2297] He would hit me with a hammer.

[2298] Yeah, there was a, because he got, he got aggressive with me. And it wasn't in a way where I deserved it.

[2299] He was just bullying me. And I was like 16, 17.

[2300] But I had already had a fuck a lot of fights by then.

[2301] Like, you know, Taekwondo fights.

[2302] I was like, dude, I'll kick you in your fucking head.

[2303] Like, you talk a bunch of crazy shit to me like this.

[2304] Like, he was talking to me in.

[2305] not just to weigh like a boss employee.

[2306] He was talking to me in a way where I was going to have to quit.

[2307] But I never said I was going to do anything to him.

[2308] I didn't like threaten them and say, I'll see you after this and I'll fuck you up.

[2309] I said, don't talk to me like that because I can fuck you up.

[2310] That's basically what I said to him.

[2311] But that's the thing about construction is like there was a lot of like man -to -man type conflict.

[2312] Like it wasn't unheard of to hear about street fights between guys who were working together.

[2313] They got pissed and pushed each.

[2314] other and punched each other in the fucking snow you know dudes carrying uh roofing tiles one guy knocks another guy over or something they start fighting that shit happened all the time there's a lot of the people that were doing labor too were like real dirt bags like there was this one guy that i did labor with um i worked with my friend leroy rodriguez and his buddy they had some business partner they would uh take apart old houses and redo them and leroy was uh one of the black belts at the taekwondo institute he was a bad motherfucker and uh leroy got me this gig.

[2315] And I worked with these guys labor in, and one of the guys we worked with lived in this fucked up abandoned building.

[2316] Not abandoned, but stripped out building.

[2317] I mean, there was parts of the building where there was no floor.

[2318] It was all fucked up.

[2319] Half the walls were missing.

[2320] They were redoing the whole building, taking things out and fixing things.

[2321] This guy lived there, and he had a mountain dew jug filled with malt liquor.

[2322] And he would drink it warm all day.

[2323] And he'd had the shakes.

[2324] Everything he did to do had the shakes.

[2325] He was just drunk all day on a crazy job site where, like, you know, there's no floors sometimes.

[2326] Everything's all fucked up.

[2327] You have to balance when you're going from one room to the other because they're tearing down parts of the wall.

[2328] And this guy somehow or another fucking slid on through drinking the entire time.

[2329] And I remember thinking, like, these are people that have made questionable decisions.

[2330] It makes you want to go back to college.

[2331] It makes you want to get a degree.

[2332] When you're around, a lot of these guys like laborers and stuff, like, you know, some of them are just like me. They're just young guys who need a gig and they need money.

[2333] and some of them are dudes who've been doing it their whole life and they're 50 and they're drunk Oh my God Yeah And you see that and you felt terrible by yourself You don't know if I want to do this If I wanted to do it I definitely knew I didn't want to do it Well you know to be a carpenter is a different gig You know like a real good carpenter That's a skilled craftsman and an artist You know you're putting together things That's different But the labor gig was not like You didn't really have to know anything You just had to be big enough to listen to them You know big enough to like pick things up Can you go get that?

[2334] Go get me that bag of cement.

[2335] Go, all right, you guys are going to take nails out of these boards now.

[2336] And it was like that kind of shit.

[2337] You just hung out with the weirdest people, Matt.

[2338] The worst guy I remember Joe Rogan.

[2339] I was clean from Coke.

[2340] I was clean about 90 days.

[2341] I was really trying to turn my life around.

[2342] And I answered an ad for construction carpenter's helper.

[2343] And he hired me. I went.

[2344] And the first day he had to work for free.

[2345] He worked for free?

[2346] Yeah, he abused me. Yeah, so I said, okay, I agreed to it.

[2347] Wow, first day worked for free.

[2348] I cut the stuff, and you have to go get lunch and the whole thing, yeah.

[2349] Okay, I did it.

[2350] I passed, and then the guy would say, okay, meet me at a diner at 8.

[2351] And when I'd go get paid, he'd say, what's those hours?

[2352] And I go, you told me to me you had 8, he goes, no, then you should be here, windshield time.

[2353] So I say the job, we didn't get to the job, by 10.

[2354] That's when you start getting paid.

[2355] That's when I started getting paid.

[2356] And I was, you know, I was at, I was really trying.

[2357] I lived with a friend.

[2358] I wanted to give them rent money.

[2359] I was trying to put away some money.

[2360] I forget what he paid me. He didn't pay.

[2361] He'd made me pay for my own lunch.

[2362] Then one day he said, where's your weight belt, your, you know, work belt?

[2363] And I go, I don't have one.

[2364] He goes, okay, I'll pay.

[2365] And you have to pay me for the materials plus 30%.

[2366] And I was like, you're...

[2367] Plus 30%.

[2368] Yeah, you're a fucking scumbag.

[2369] Just to have like a claw, a fucking hammer, and something else.

[2370] I'd forget what it was.

[2371] To do work for him.

[2372] You would have your own tools.

[2373] And a saw and stuff like that.

[2374] Yeah, that was always a thing, whether it was union or non -union.

[2375] You know, there was a lot of the work that I did when I was a kid was non -union.

[2376] And a lot of the people didn't want a union.

[2377] They felt like the union guys, they had it easier, but it was too expensive.

[2378] and people didn't want to, you know, use certain people.

[2379] So it was like a real debate, like, what's better?

[2380] For every amount of union people, you have to have a certain amount of non -union.

[2381] Is that how it works?

[2382] To balance it out, right?

[2383] So everybody makes money.

[2384] But it seems like in some things, like, auto workers, they don't fuck around, right?

[2385] No. Like, everybody has to be a different gig.

[2386] But, like, construction is different.

[2387] You have to have mandatory breaks, glory time.

[2388] Yeah.

[2389] You know, there's not lists.

[2390] If a job opens up, how do we get it?

[2391] You got to go on a list.

[2392] Rogan has more minority than Diaz.

[2393] He started nine months before Diaz.

[2394] He gets the job.

[2395] Yeah.

[2396] You know, it's not about knowing all that shit.

[2397] Well, that dude, I'll never forget that dude's name and what he did and the scumbag he was to me. But on Fridays, he would make me feel bad like he'd go.

[2398] So how many hours did you work?

[2399] And I'd go 38.

[2400] And he'd go, no, I'm paying you for 30.

[2401] And he'd bully me, this guy.

[2402] But every Friday he'd go.

[2403] This Friday, I'm going away.

[2404] I'm going here to fuck my wife and the ass and he was always an asshole.

[2405] And then all of a sudden I got my check.

[2406] I got this check I was waiting for.

[2407] And one Saturday I'm sitting there.

[2408] I'm like, I'm sick of this motherfucker.

[2409] I'm going to rob his house.

[2410] And I jumped the fence and I kicked the back door open.

[2411] And he was a guy that bought hot shit on the side.

[2412] I mean, the guy was just a sack of shit.

[2413] And he must have had, I don't know, how many fucking bottles and cases of Don Perignon.

[2414] So I fucking ran up to the corner and called my buddy, go meet me at this address.

[2415] And I took every bottle of Don Perignon that he had, and I sold him at liquor stores.

[2416] I took his checkbook.

[2417] I mean, I buried this fucking guy, just for how bad he treated me. He was such a fucking scumbag.

[2418] Never bought lunch.

[2419] He was always making, you know, he was always making little fucking remarks.

[2420] Well, that's what we were talking about earlier.

[2421] What happens when a guy gets into power that's a piece of shit?

[2422] Oh, my God.

[2423] So worse.

[2424] He was such a fucking sack of shit.

[2425] I remember I had this T -shirt for a long time.

[2426] I used to wear it and smile every time.

[2427] J .A .S. Some shit like that.

[2428] Fuck him.

[2429] That's half of what this Harvey Weinstein thing is about, right?

[2430] It's about the boss.

[2431] Yeah?

[2432] It's what it's about.

[2433] It's about the boss abusing his power.

[2434] The boss fucking the girls so they can get their job.

[2435] And that's the offer Which has probably been going on Forever Like I said, especially here Listen, they destroyed Manlo And that's the ones we know of Oh, there's probably been millions Of women that have come out of here And have been put through a fucking process It was always how these guys got power I mean, if you look at a guy like Harvey How else is he going to get laid?

[2436] Let's be honest I mean, is he going to get laid Because he's a good -looking guy Or is he going to get laid because he's ruthless and very successful.

[2437] It would have to be ruthless and very successful.

[2438] I want to know the ones that just not handsome.

[2439] I want to know the ones that slept with him and did win an Oscar.

[2440] A lot.

[2441] Well, I don't know that didn't win, but I mean, there's a lot that did.

[2442] The story is that there was a lot that did it.

[2443] I mean, he couldn't have made these offers or all these women that said no, not have some of them say yes.

[2444] It doesn't make it any less horrible for the women who said no or were hounded by them and whatever went down and he ruined some careers.

[2445] But some of them had to say yes.

[2446] It's just some would make that deal with the devil.

[2447] That happens with a lot of different things.

[2448] People make that deal.

[2449] They make that deal.

[2450] It's worth it.

[2451] I mean, I joked around about it in my act about Harvina Weinstein.

[2452] But that's what a lot of guys would do.

[2453] A lot of guys would bang some chick.

[2454] If that's all it took and you can get ahead, you know?

[2455] You don't have to marry.

[2456] You just have to fuck her.

[2457] How many guys would do that?

[2458] A lot of guys would do that.

[2459] Would girls do that too?

[2460] Some of them, yeah.

[2461] Most would not want that to be stuck in front of their face.

[2462] Most would rather make their way through the most, the vast majority, would rather get by on their merits.

[2463] But there's always throughout time, there's been people that fucked their way to the top.

[2464] That's not a myth.

[2465] That's not like angels.

[2466] It's not like pixies and wood elves.

[2467] People have done it.

[2468] People have done everything that you can imagine.

[2469] People have married people for money.

[2470] People have killed people for their insurance premium.

[2471] or their insurance policies, rather.

[2472] That happens.

[2473] When people die, they check the spouse to see if the spouse had a fucking insurance policy.

[2474] If they find out they recently put out a big fat insurance policy, then they go sideways.

[2475] You go, oh, did you?

[2476] And she just vanished in the woods, huh?

[2477] That's weird, Mike.

[2478] Mike, have a seat.

[2479] We're going to talk.

[2480] What happened again, Mike?

[2481] Let's just take me through the top.

[2482] Tell me what happened.

[2483] You guys went hiking?

[2484] This one in Colorado's a weird one.

[2485] There was another one.

[2486] There's another one that just happened in Colorado.

[2487] The one where the phone ended up in Idaho, 700 miles away.

[2488] They saw her leave the supermarket with the child.

[2489] He supposedly picked her up.

[2490] I want to know how he got the phone up there.

[2491] Remember, every car has GPS now.

[2492] Yeah.

[2493] Unless it's an old car.

[2494] Unless it's an old truck.

[2495] Or, you know, there's cars, they have, they don't have GPS.

[2496] There's cars that you get them stripped.

[2497] They don't have shit in them.

[2498] But get a really cheap truck.

[2499] Pick up truck, no radio.

[2500] That's the, that's the one That baffles me. How about the fucking guy who killed his whole family?

[2501] How about that guy?

[2502] Guy killed his wife, killed his kids.

[2503] You hear about that guy?

[2504] Put him in the fucking thing.

[2505] Jesus.

[2506] And he looked so normal.

[2507] You see a picture of him in his wife?

[2508] Well, now the mistress came out.

[2509] Yeah.

[2510] The mrs. came out.

[2511] But do you look at him, the picture of him with his family, go, that guy looks so fucking normal.

[2512] How is he capable of killing his own kid?

[2513] How is he capable of killing his wife?

[2514] Jesus Christ.

[2515] There's certain people out there that just, they're fucking broken.

[2516] They're broken.

[2517] And if you're a woman, you have to think about that.

[2518] That's the difference between women and men.

[2519] That's the biggest difference.

[2520] The biggest difference is women have to constantly be in fear of a violent man, whereas men rarely are in fear of a violent woman.

[2521] It doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

[2522] It happened to my friend Phil Hartman.

[2523] His wife shot him always asleep.

[2524] That did happen.

[2525] But the vast majority, if you're looking at the numbers of people that are afraid of the opposite sex, it's women that are afraid of men.

[2526] It's a different environment.

[2527] It's a different dynamic.

[2528] it's not like anything that we could ever really truly appreciate especially if you know how to handle yourself in that case that happened in colorado where he killed is there any past of the rest of violence nothing i don't think so i don't think so nothing he just snapped one day bro it doesn't make any sense he just snapped and this guy here like i said the only thing that throws you off is her car phone in idaho which meant he had to take her right there, drive to Idaho, which has to be 11, 12 hours, and drive back, 770 miles away.

[2529] And drive back without nobody noticing.

[2530] It's totally possible.

[2531] No gas station attendance, recognizing a truck with a child in the back.

[2532] You know, they have to do a search of every gas station camera to see if he pulled up.

[2533] And they didn't find him?

[2534] I don't think they've even gone that deep so far.

[2535] But they got to figure out how her cell phone ended up in a fucking mailbox.

[2536] I just don't understand where people get to fucking, it is so tough to ice somebody now and think you're going to get away with it.

[2537] Between cell phones, drones, cameras, pictures.

[2538] Think about it.

[2539] You think about it, how they find everything now.

[2540] It's way more difficult, that's for sure.

[2541] But I think if you're in a rural area, rural areas, you could still get away with a lot.

[2542] No, no, no. Look at that chick that was jogging from the University or whatever.

[2543] Oh, that's right.

[2544] And they caught, Idaho.

[2545] Was it Iowa, Iowa, Iowa.

[2546] Iowa.

[2547] And they caught her with something.

[2548] They caught it with a drunk.

[2549] I don't know exactly.

[2550] It's very tough.

[2551] Joey, I got a piece so bad.

[2552] Well, then go ahead.

[2553] Go ahead.

[2554] Go do your thing, brother.

[2555] I'm going to piss.

[2556] Talk to Jamie and I'll come back.

[2557] I'm not done yet.

[2558] Take your time.

[2559] Hurry up and shit like that.

[2560] It's the holiday season.

[2561] you're sitting around right now thinking you see what's going on with Joe Rogan that's what happens when you turn 50 motherfuckers so prepare you drink your water you try to be healthy but you gotta pee all fucking day this is what I live with every fucking night I go to bed I'm nice and sleepy and at one point I gotta fucking get up and pee and you gotta and it comes out nice and slow to really torture you to really make you think about that ham and cheese sandwich in the fucking refrigerator should you stay up and eat that fucking fucking thing thank god it's merry christmas time this is the best fucking time because listen i ain't doing dick till thursday you understand me how about you jamie nothing nothing i ain't doing dick till thursday tonight i'm going to the craters with my wife and kid we're going to sing mingo jingle bells and all that shit all the kids get together i'll probably be home by nine tomorrow i ain't doing dick they can hold doing open mic at the gym tomorrow for jiu jiu jitsu i might have You'd have to go down there at 12 just to get some exercise, so you get an excuse to eat.

[2562] I'm thinking about dropping into the comedy store on Christmas night.

[2563] It might be boring, but it might be an adventure.

[2564] Then Wednesday, I got dick.

[2565] Then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'm up there in Oxnard at the Leverty Live, so that'll be fun.

[2566] Listen, it's the weekend before New Year's.

[2567] Who the fuck's on the show are?

[2568] People are going to be waiting for New Year's because that's what people do.

[2569] They go, you know what?

[2570] I'm just in the way for New Year's Eve and jump up and down.

[2571] I fucking hate New Year's Eve.

[2572] You understand me?

[2573] I've always hated New Year's Eve.

[2574] Since I was 18, I hate it, New Year's Eve.

[2575] You're asking me, why do you hate fucking New Year's Eve?

[2576] Because weird things happened.

[2577] When I was 18 or 17, I saw an RX7 hit a fucking tree on New Year's Eve, and the car got split in half, and the kid was dead.

[2578] The girl got taken out by the jaws of debt.

[2579] Then the following year, I went to a party.

[2580] And I saw my buddy Danny B bite off Roger's ear, and we had to drive him to the fucking hospital with a piece of ear and a fucking baggie with ice cubes.

[2581] So that's why you never saw me drink on New Year's Eve.

[2582] Any other time of the night, you had 364 days a year for me to snort coke and eat pills and drink.

[2583] When it came to New Year's Eve, I minded my fucking business.

[2584] Why?

[2585] Because it's just a creepy night.

[2586] In fact, I'm excited that.

[2587] Joe Rogan's not doing New Year's this year.

[2588] What happened for the new wreck?

[2589] I saw that.

[2590] Is that what happened?

[2591] The guy fell asleep?

[2592] Yeah, I saw that.

[2593] He walked away.

[2594] I heard.

[2595] Probably because he was asleep.

[2596] I probably thought it was in a dream.

[2597] Didn't stiffen up.

[2598] That was in another country, right?

[2599] Yeah, like Bolivia.

[2600] Dude, I peed more than I've ever peed in my life right now.

[2601] That's what happens.

[2602] I got my blood done recently, got everything checked up, everything's groovy, but I was dehydrated.

[2603] So I've been making a point to drink more water.

[2604] I wonder if I keep myself dehydrated.

[2605] But that doesn't make any sense because I drink during the show.

[2606] But I wonder if I do that subconsciously to limit my needing to pee during three -hour conversations.

[2607] No. You don't think so?

[2608] You know what, man?

[2609] I drink water all fucking day.

[2610] Every time I walk out of the dentist, the doctor's office, for a physical, he always says, drink more water.

[2611] Well, you should always just drink more water.

[2612] It doesn't hurt.

[2613] And you know what?

[2614] I sleep with water next to me, which is big.

[2615] Do you get up and have a sip of water?

[2616] Yeah.

[2617] I'll get up, pee and drink a fucking gallon of water.

[2618] And then because of the sleep apnea machine Instead of put fluid in the well I just bring a bottle of water with me next door Right to the bed with me at night And it's really important If you read up, there's a reason There's a reason why You know, because when you're over 50, you pee more But there's a re, you have to look it up When you're by yourself next time in the hotel room There's a reason why you should sleep hydrated When you're over 50, big reason why Well, whenever I go to yoga class, I always feel like I have to make a conscious effort to take that fluid back in.

[2619] Because you sweat so much in one of those hot yoga classes.

[2620] Like, if you don't make a real, like, don't just drink if you're thirsty.

[2621] You've got to make kind of a conscious effort to get those fluids back in your body.

[2622] And you probably should take some electrolytes too.

[2623] I'm some sort of electrolyte supplements.

[2624] I just blast a fucking banana, man. That's good, too.

[2625] I blast two bananas.

[2626] You stay full for an hour.

[2627] until two after you eat I drink water and I also drink a fucking the after workout drink sometimes But that is a good right before you work out too No calories, no sugar No Gatorade No fucking and monster energy drink I don't touch none of that shit I hate all that shit Do you?

[2628] All that shit is going to kill fucking people 20 years from now Monster energy and all those energy drinks And shit like that They're like kill people dog My favorite thing is just coffee before any kind of workout just coffee or espresso do you know that before I go to the store do you know that before I go to the comedy store I drink a four shot espresso four shots I usually drink one of these shameless plug for caveman nitros even my wife would go how big is that thing and I put that cancer sugar in there and I fucking get that sugar free sugar Yeah.

[2629] Is that saccharine stuff?

[2630] I get in that fucking car, and I don't know music.

[2631] Cancer sugar.

[2632] Just me and four cups of espresso.

[2633] Do you know what's going through my mind?

[2634] If I have the ball, sometimes I take a toadoke off the pipe just to cook the espresso upper level, and I pop a nicotine gum.

[2635] Oh, my God.

[2636] Do you know why I'm juiced up by the time I get to the comedy store?

[2637] Because that's what I put myself through.

[2638] The nicotine gum is supposed to be legit.

[2639] Like, from what I understand, nicotine itself is a really good.

[2640] good neutropic they've they've analyzed the cognitive benefits of nicotine on its own but it's addictive so it's i don't think this nicotine gum is very healthy for you but if there was a way it gives you a juice right if there was a way to blast nicotine like maybe chew it like a tobacco like a clean tobacco just to give you a little push off the cliff yeah i think it's not bad for you i remember one of the things that it really shocked me the cops were looking for me so i jumped on a Boston, San Francisco in 1985.

[2641] I didn't even know where the bus was going.

[2642] It was going to a place called Reno.

[2643] I had never heard of it at Reno.

[2644] In those days, you could smoke on a bus.

[2645] I met a kid from whatever, Egypt.

[2646] And he smoked with me. At that time, I was never touch a tobacco product.

[2647] Never even consider it.

[2648] I thought, I'm Cuban, I thought cigars were the worst thing in the world for you.

[2649] And I remember we smoked a joint with hash, weed and tobacco in it What year was this?

[2650] Huh?

[2651] What year was this?

[2652] 1985.

[2653] We smoked a joint on a bus.

[2654] I thought my lungs were going to fucking cave in on the tobacco and the hash.

[2655] Eishka's hash.

[2656] The problem with hash is no matter what you smoke a hash, it doubles in your lungs.

[2657] What do you mean?

[2658] The smoke doubles in your lungs.

[2659] How's it do that?

[2660] Do I look like Johnny fucking scientists, I don't know, next time one of these smart guys comes on the show I asked them.

[2661] That's what I was...

[2662] Well, I usually smoke hash.

[2663] I take a pin.

[2664] You know, those pins that people put Joe over the present.

[2665] Oh, yeah, you light on fire and put it under a glass.

[2666] And put it under a glass and you smoke it clean because the double that wheat, that strain of hash and there was something else would double up in your fucking lungs.

[2667] That's why you cough so hard.

[2668] I remember when...

[2669] Expans.

[2670] It expands.

[2671] Expans.

[2672] I remember when I was a super square I never did any drugs, never smoked pot, never did anything and I went to an agent's room, I think we were in Montreal.

[2673] It was me and my manager and this agent who was a friend of ours and he had a piece of hash that he lit on like a thumbtack under glass he blows on it, blows on it, and he puts the lid on it, I'm washing him, and then he smokes the hash out of it.

[2674] I was like, I can't believe I'm seeing this guy do drugs.

[2675] This is like a scene in Hollywood.

[2676] He's out here, he's doing drugs.

[2677] He's smoking drugs.

[2678] Like, he's his hash.

[2679] You know what I thought of hash?

[2680] The fucking movie Midnight Express.

[2681] That's what I thought.

[2682] Oh, my God.

[2683] You've got to go to jail for life.

[2684] You're going to jerk off my glass.

[2685] Like, you're going to have to fight someone and kill him.

[2686] Midnight Express.

[2687] It's about smuggling hash from Turkey.

[2688] In my mind, hash was a serious fucking drug.

[2689] Like, this guy was doing heroin.

[2690] Like, you're doing hash?

[2691] You might as well be doing heroin.

[2692] I was like, can't believe you're just doing this in front of me. Smoking hash in front of people with a glass scares the fuck out of them.

[2693] It's, uh, for some, who doesn't do anything like that's a big it's not like hitting a hit of a joint you take a hit of a joint and go okay guy likes to smoke pot i've seen that before you you light a piece of hash and put it on a thumbtack and put it under that glass and you get down there and suck it out of the glass you look like a drug addict you're sniffing an exhaust fuel the fuck are you doing man if you know anything about me you know i've seen some weird people do some drug shit when i was in new york d 'em y 'i got up early and there's a movie called sugar hill you know what sugar hill Sugar Hill I remember the Sugar Hill gang Is it related Sugar Hill?

[2694] Sugar Hill is a movie That is possibly Wesley Snipes' best movie Oh, that was when they were The drug dealers The drug dealers Yes, I remember that Candy Alexander opens up the movie Oh yeah Because she plays the mother And she makes them hold the belt And he goes, why are you got to make me Hold the belt, Mama?

[2695] Because you're the oldest Hold the belt So I can shoot this goddamn heroin Mama's sick Oh, that's right.

[2696] This is his best movie by fucking far.

[2697] That was a good movie.

[2698] Joe, I've got to wrap this up.

[2699] It's 2 o 'clock.

[2700] Bro, what are we going to do?

[2701] That's it.

[2702] How are we going to kick open a new year?

[2703] We didn't lay a bet.

[2704] Nothing about fucking John Jones.

[2705] Gustafin, if you had a bet it, you didn't give me a breakdown here.

[2706] If I would bet John Jones versus Gustafton?

[2707] Yeah, I'm stuck on both fights.

[2708] That's all I want to tell people.

[2709] That I wouldn't bet me. I can't bet either.

[2710] They're both very good matchups.

[2711] Very good matchups.

[2712] Chris, You have to give her an advantage because she's so much bigger and because she just doesn't seem to lose.

[2713] She's just smashing people.

[2714] She's got really, really good technique, and she's super powerful, and she's really big.

[2715] And she's got a lot of success.

[2716] And then Amanda Niena is, without a doubt, the hardest hit in Bannonweight.

[2717] She's a fucking smasher, man. She's a great camp.

[2718] Yeah, great camp.

[2719] Long shoulders.

[2720] She keeps people on the end of punches.

[2721] She'll, she's going to test sideboard.

[2722] You know, we're going to find out whether or not.

[2723] she could hurt her and we find out if she can hurt her this could get crazy who the fuck knows because Amanda Nunes can't if she hurt cyborg it could get crazy but if she can't she hits harder than holly i think in my humble opinion um i think holly is a great kicker and holly is uh you know she's really good at movement and she's very durable and uh holly managed to go the full distance with cyborg you know it was a hard fight it was a hard fight and she lost that fight um the The difference between Holly and Amanda Nunes, I think, is like one -shot power is better for Nunes.

[2724] But, you know, Holly, when she fought Germain Garandomi, when she fought Germain, she knocked her down.

[2725] She knocked her down on a straight left.

[2726] She hurt her.

[2727] She heard her a couple of times.

[2728] She had kicked her.

[2729] She hit her with a question mark kick and head kicked her.

[2730] And Jermaine Durandami is really good.

[2731] Heavy -duty moit Thai fighter.

[2732] But she didn't want to fight Cyborg.

[2733] Holly did.

[2734] But Cyborg's just the biggest and the best In terms of like You look at her success ratio You look at the way she beats girls down She's so powerful man But Amanda is the toughest fight for her ever This is yeah This is this is a fight If you go back to Cyborg's fight with Gina Carano A Gina Carano one point in time Was on top of her on the ground She didn't sustain it And she lost the fight And Cyborg eventually smashed her But Gina had her moments in that fight You know and I don't think Gina was ever the one shot cracker that Amanda is.

[2735] However, Cyborg's way better than she was back then.

[2736] But, you know, so was Amanda.

[2737] Amanda, you know, coming off of the Raquel Pennington fight, you watch that fight, she dominated Raquel Pennington.

[2738] And I think Raquel is one of the toughest girls in the division.

[2739] She's a hard woman.

[2740] And she beats a lot of really good fighters.

[2741] And she gave Holly Home all she could handle and got a split decision.

[2742] Lost to Holly Home in Holly's debut in the UFC.

[2743] I mean, she's fucking good.

[2744] And Amanda and Nunes handled her.

[2745] It was very, very impressive.

[2746] It was scary, like, dismantling.

[2747] She's beating her up.

[2748] I was like, wow.

[2749] Like, she's on another level now.

[2750] As a champion, she's gotten even better.

[2751] She was always really good.

[2752] She was always really dangerous.

[2753] But as a champion, she got even better when she beat Rhonda Rousey in 48 seconds.

[2754] That was the big coming -out party.

[2755] Like, here we are, baby.

[2756] She's the best Bannumweight ever, you know, in terms of like her ability to knock girls out.

[2757] Like, she's the scariest of all time.

[2758] She's the only one, I mean, cyborg can't make 135 Amanda Nunes can She's a legit 135 champion You know And she's got it down now too She can go five rounds She can beat the fuck out of you For five rounds now It's different It's interesting fight But listen Merry Christmas Merry Christmas To the JRE family You know I love you Motherfuckers Merry Christmas to you my friend Christmas to you my brother Well I see you at night This week I don't think so Not this week But we'll see each other soon For sure Yeah After the New Year After the New Year All right.

[2759] Thank you, everybody.

[2760] Much love.

[2761] Bye.

[2762] Merry Christmas.

[2763] Merry Christmas.

[2764] Happy New Year.

[2765] Happy Hanukkah.

[2766] Happy Kwanza.

[2767] Merry everybody.