#643 - "Big" Jay Oakerson

[0] Machina.

[1] Are we live?

[2] Yeah?

[3] Do you stream .tv forward slash Jay is here.

[4] Big Jay is here.

[5] Bam.

[6] And I'm tweeting and we're live.

[7] What the fuck, Big Jay.

[8] Welcome back, sir.

[9] I heard you were punching white people in Baltimore.

[10] Is that true?

[11] You just ran around just punching random white people?

[12] That's it.

[13] Well, you got to get all the fans you can get, right?

[14] If you want to be down, that's the move right now.

[15] Be super upset with white people.

[16] I had an argument with a comic about Baltimore this week I was like he was very pro like the the violent protest of it white dude white like you know like hipster white comic I would say and his I was so surprised because I always thought they were supposed to be the tender guys and his comment I couldn't believe the coldness in him saying he was like so big fucking deal that you know they tear apart a CVS he goes who gives a shit man there's people getting killed in the street You know, the cops are killing people in the streets.

[17] And it's like, who cares?

[18] Like, the fucking owner of the CVA?

[19] Like, why does he have to eat shit for it?

[20] It's totally unrelated.

[21] They did it in Ferguson to businesses that were owned by black people.

[22] I mean, there were some instances of people burning down businesses that had absolutely nothing to do with any of the pro -police, you know, group.

[23] There were people that just lived in the community, and then all of a sudden everything got smashed.

[24] In Oakland, when the guy got shot in Oakland, there was a, they smashed a bank, and someone wrote fuck capitalism on it like okay really like is that what this is about the fucking cop killing the guy is about capitalism the other one that the accident or the you know quote accident in the train station yeah that one was fucked did you see the movie they made of it no they made a movie of it i like when they uh they do this with a lot of hollywood stuff that's it's just a hilarious phoned in thing was uh if you remember even like the do you remember the biggie smalls movie did you ever see that one never saw it what was it did you see it by no it's called notorious no yeah i saw it Really?

[25] I mean, I saw once.

[26] Who the fuck played big?

[27] It actually was pretty good.

[28] Really?

[29] The preview looked like he did a good job.

[30] You know, Jamie, pull up a fucking preview.

[31] I need to see this.

[32] The guy did a good job, I guess.

[33] But what they just do was funny was the night he died in the movie, like he made phone calls to everyone.

[34] And he's like, you know, to his wife, like, I'm going to be good to you, told his mom.

[35] Oh, no. Whenever they're worried about money against.

[36] And all these, like, things that are not true in that Fruitvale Station movie, which is about the Oakland guy, like, they literally made that day, like, you know, the guy he sold drugs for, came and giving him drugs.

[37] And he was like, nah, I don't.

[38] want to do this shit no more.

[39] I'm going to be better to my daughter.

[40] Yeah, they may, and the thing is like, you can't just make shit like that out.

[41] Yeah, and another comedian actually named Chris Tinkle I pointed out, because he knew the story.

[42] He's from that area, and he said he was like, it's already tragic anyway.

[43] Yes.

[44] This is a tragic situation.

[45] That kid got killed.

[46] Whatever was going on, he probably didn't deserve to get killed by a cop, you know, so accidentally or otherwise.

[47] So it's just like, why would you have to add, like, and he was going to go back, he was going to go to University of Phoenix Online?

[48] Dude, I can spell it out.

[49] Nice and simple.

[50] This is exactly what it is.

[51] There's a very high percentage, very high percentage of the movie business that's filled with wonderful creative people.

[52] Fantastic folks who just want to make good movies like Ex Machina.

[53] I saw Ex Machina this week.

[54] Holy shit is that good.

[55] God damn, that's a good movie.

[56] Amazing special effects.

[57] Was it one of those movies?

[58] One of the best movies I've ever seen in my life.

[59] And I don't want to say anything more about it.

[60] We'll talk about a little bit.

[61] But, but points, most of them are trying to do shit like that.

[62] But there are a few out there.

[63] And those ones.

[64] will stand out and they will just fucking jizz they will just fucking jizz on anything, jizz in every soup you make they gotta add their little fucking spooge to all your ideas and they fuck everything up man and especially it's gross especially gross when they do a real live story a lot of times of dudes who are still alive and they just butcher the story like that fucking wrestler movie what the fuck was that we've talked about it before what is it called?

[65] Fox Catcher Fox.

[66] Oh yeah yeah The one about John Hunt, or what is it?

[67] Mark Hunt.

[68] No, no, no, Mark Hunt's a fighter.

[69] Mike Cut.

[70] What is the guy's name?

[71] John Pharmaceutical Company.

[72] Yeah, John DuPont.

[73] DuPont, thank you.

[74] John DuPont, who's a crazy, murderous cocaine fiend, who shot this wrestler, Dave Schultz, who's a famous wrestler.

[75] Well, the movie's about his brother, Mark Schultz, who's still alive, and they just add a bunch of shit to it, make a bunch of shit up, change the timeline around, Change the success story of his life Also throw some kind of like a gay undertone for no reason Gay and Coke doing coke with a gay guy You got frosted tips Short shorts The whole thing was like what's going on here What are you doing man?

[76] You know what's one of the biggest messes I'm from Philly and that story happened in Pennsylvania Outside of Philadelphia I thought it was Connecticut That Fox Catcher thing is in Philly?

[77] It's outside Philly, it's Pennsylvania Oh wow confused But John DuPont It was like a multiple day state Also, one of the most interesting things was that it was a standoff for days with the cops.

[78] But they made it like he killed the guy, and then he walked out of his house and they just arrested him.

[79] Like, it was such like a...

[80] They speed through all the things that are real and interesting to add some weird Hollywood.

[81] Like, they have to force in the fact that maybe he was gay for this guy.

[82] It had nothing to do with anything.

[83] They just decided to make him gay, just to make this story more fun.

[84] You want to give me airhead in my helicopter?

[85] Yeah, they were hanging out, doing bumps in a helicopter, eye on each other, sweating.

[86] Just the whole thing was so fuck Dude, they changed shit that they didn't have to change Like historical shit Like the fact that he was already a world champion One of the best wrestlers on earth They made him out to be like a guy who was failing And falling apart They also had him fight in the UFC He did fight once in the UFC But against a white guy And the real UFC fought against a black guy named Big Gary Goodrich It's a historic match It's a historic, like if you're a martial arts historian That match is a historic match Because he was an Olympic gold medalist He came and just took down one of the best MMA fighters at the time at will And showed the difference between like world class wrestling And this fucking bullshit that these guys were doing in the gym They were there were infants in comparison His like wrestling skill But they changed the timeline of it They had him watching the UFC in 87 The UFC wasn't even made until 93 So they just fucked with everything Just to gay it up And add a little of this Just to get their little fucking Hunch over the script yeah yeah that was my idea basically saw it did the script man the story structure just didn't work there was something missing gay stuff when they get those actors they don't want to like it to just be in like independent film theaters so they got a Hollywood some horseshit story into it all it's just so depressing that they do that to a movie that's a real story because then you have in your head oh well he almost got gay with the guy he did coke he saw the UFC in 87 you have all these things in your head and then you start reading And you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not the case.

[87] Like, there was, like, he wrote a list on Facebook, Mark Schultz did, of all the inaccuracies of the Fox Catcher movie.

[88] It's fucking ridiculous.

[89] It's ridiculous.

[90] They just, they fucked with everything.

[91] And he didn't even know, because he was like a consultant on the movie, I believe.

[92] Well, I'm sure.

[93] He probably knew a little, but what the fuck is he going to do?

[94] They're probably giving him an assload of money, right?

[95] We're going to frost your tips.

[96] He's a wrestler, wrestling coach at Brigham Young.

[97] I mean, he had to stop M .MA fighting.

[98] because the school that he was teaching wrestling at didn't want him doing it.

[99] It was a different time.

[100] You know, it was like 96 or 97 or whatever the fuck it was when he fought.

[101] That was right on the end of like USC being like sumo wrestler fights a ninja.

[102] It was still that.

[103] Still that.

[104] He was still using bare knuckles.

[105] There was still, I think he would still wear shoes.

[106] When I started, you could wear shoes.

[107] You couldn't punch the balls when I first got there.

[108] You couldn't punch the balls and you couldn't, I don't think you could pull hair anymore.

[109] They got rid of that early on too.

[110] fun growing up i watched the documentary recently to the 20 UFC 20 yeah and like uh having that go through my life like watching that sport grow in my lifetime for me i remember me and my stepfather ordered the first one ever wow when it was tournament style you had to go out and fight like three times and we thought it was like the greatest thing of all time but now to watch it go from like you know no shoes no geese no gouging all these things that you know but you have to that has to happen and then they go oh yeah no you can't just you can't just break a guy's finger because you're losing yeah well it's it's why can't you if you break guys arm how come you can't break a guy's finger like i really i disagree with like all the thoughts about like small joint manipulation because the reality is if someone's trying to manipulate your joint like if see the only way that would really the only really it usually works in defense like say if a guy if you're uh you're trying to grab a guy and you're trying to choke him and he starts pulling on your fingers well you could just pull your fingers away you know it's not like it's automatic that he's going to break your fingers sure you just have to be more aware of you're of it like it's realistic like if all this guy has to do is pull your finger back to stop you from doing a choke well then he did the right thing why are you taking that away from him when it's okay for him to choke you oh yeah you have to like actually get under the hand itself completely right but why are you taking away the guy's ability to pull on your fingers yeah if he pulls on your fingers you better get your fingers out of there and then try to choke him again yeah you know it just makes sense to me what i actually thought because it never happens that i thought there was a rule of no choking in the UFC, like a direct -on, like, choke, like, you're choking someone against the wall, but you can do that, apparently.

[111] It's just, it's the most unrealistic move to this.

[112] Same reason no one headlocks like you did in the schoolyard as a kid where, you know, you have the guy like in a bulldog position.

[113] Right.

[114] You know, I mean, that's like the more, that never, that's so rarely ever happens in the UFC.

[115] Honestly, I think you're wrong.

[116] I think it is illegal to grab the neck like that.

[117] I think it's illegal to do that.

[118] Straight on?

[119] Yeah, I think it used to be legal, but now it's illegal?

[120] Yeah, I need to find out about that.

[121] There was something about, well, there's a bunch of weird spots that you can't do.

[122] Like, do you know, you can't hit a guy in the back of the head?

[123] Can't hit a guy in the back.

[124] Sure.

[125] But you get kicked in the back of the head all the time.

[126] When you get hit with a head kick, one of the things about a head kick is, you know, the shins kind of coming around here.

[127] And a lot of times, like a high percentage, the foot in the in step are bang, wrapping right around the back of your head way fucking harder than you can ever punch.

[128] Like, so the idea that you don't get hit in the back of the head is crazy because there's a totally legal shot that's big.

[129] Basically the back of the head.

[130] Nobody ever gets in trouble for kicking somebody in the back of the head.

[131] And it happens all the time.

[132] It's just ground and pound.

[133] When you're grounded and pounding is usually when guys get in the back of the head, which is the most ridiculous because that's when guys are moving around.

[134] Yeah, he's trying to protect them.

[135] If all we got to do is get to the back of your head.

[136] But stand -up -wise, a lot of guys get hit in the back of the head.

[137] They get hit with clubbing punches, like when in, like in meleys, they never get in trouble for that.

[138] And there's a lot of elbows that go to the back of the head because they're up against the cage.

[139] In areas where you'd get in trouble hitting them somehow in ground and pound, it seems almost like elbows to the back of the head and punches the back of the head are really only recognized clearly when it's ground and pound.

[140] Well, yeah, man, what was that?

[141] Is that Diego Sanchez elbowing the top of Clay Gwita's head?

[142] Like, I don't know how those weren't, like, illegal.

[143] It seems like by the rules that should have been illegal.

[144] The top is fine.

[145] The top is fine.

[146] It's the base of the skull that's supposed to be the real danger area.

[147] It's the back of the head and the base of the skull.

[148] Oh, you get elbow top of the head?

[149] The top of the head's fine.

[150] The top of the head's fine.

[151] The sides of the head are fine.

[152] And there's like been a bunch of debate about like what is the mohawk.

[153] They're called the Mohawk.

[154] The mohawk meaning this is the area that can't hit.

[155] Mohawk in the back of the head, like that strip down where the spine is.

[156] Some people extend it more towards the ears and some people keep it more narrow and some people lower it.

[157] So it's just the base.

[158] Some people think that like right here, like sort of the mid back of that is fine.

[159] So it's, it's open to debate.

[160] But the idea is, ultimately, that the base of the spine is very dangerous to hit.

[161] And then if you hit someone there really hard, you might be able to separate their fucking brain from their spinal column.

[162] Ha, y, y 'all, y 'all.

[163] Son of a bitch.

[164] There was a big move in the old day.

[165] See, in the old days, one of the best moves was you would take a guy's back and then you would smash the back of his head with elbows.

[166] Like, Henzo Gracie did that to, like, this judo specialist that he fought.

[167] God, I want to say, like, I forget the organization.

[168] It might have been Mars or it might have been like one of those, one of those like really, really young old school martial arts promotions that never really made it.

[169] So Henzo gets this guy down, gets his back and just fucking boom, boom, just smashes the back of his head because it's totally illegal back then.

[170] And you realize like that takes away all your rear naked chokes, all that stuff, that's like not even nearly as effective as doing that.

[171] If you got a guy's head, if you got him face down and you're smashing.

[172] the back of his head with elbows while you have the back mount in.

[173] There's very little he can do to defend that.

[174] It used to be legal.

[175] It's funny, and even the stuff they take away from the sport, it still stays a thousand times more interesting than boxing.

[176] You see, man, everybody says that, right?

[177] But I really found that fight interesting.

[178] I'm of the minority that thought that it was a really interesting fight.

[179] Yeah, everybody was mad.

[180] You know, we waited for this, we did for that.

[181] I'm like, come on, you, as a person who appreciates boxing, that fight to me was pretty wild.

[182] It was intense to watch because you know Manny Pacquiao has been able to get his gloves on everybody he fights.

[183] Everybody he fights, he lights up.

[184] He gets a hold of you eventually, and he lights you up.

[185] And you might get him like Marquez got him, but before Marquez got him, it's not like Paco didn't crack him.

[186] You know, they weren't going back and forth and back and forth.

[187] Just Marquez has a legendary chin and awesome punching power, and he eventually knocked Paciow out.

[188] But Paciol is in these wars with Margarito, wars with Cotto, you know, just batch the shit out of Chris Algebra.

[189] he's real slick and moves real well just gets you he's a pretty boy white guy he's a pretty boy white guy but he's a bad motherfucker yeah but manny pack yo just could not get to floyd then one time he did get them it's like nothing you know it's like floyd just covered up use his defense kept checking his head like nope nothing nope nothing like manny we just couldn't get him to me that was impressive as fuck the way he was moving like every time manny would come for that blitz Floyd was gone he just wasn't there you know it was just super super slick boxing to me i'm from philly so i spent a lifetime with bernard hopkins you know just watching him and rooting for him of these these really long slow flights they really are like they just take for us i think floyd mayweather's kind of the same thing for me you know i just watched again man that you see that tyson documentary it's on cable all time which is him sitting and talking in the white shirt when they go to that footage once in a while i'll even watch that fox sports he'll do the you know the all day just tyson's fights but why Watching that early footage of him training and just how fast he was and what he was doing.

[190] Yeah.

[191] How come there isn't, there hasn't been another Mike Tyson since Mike Tyson.

[192] There's been arguably six Jordans since Jordan.

[193] You need a lot of things to come together correctly to make a Mike Tyson.

[194] You need a lot of things.

[195] Also, that talent, I think, in the last decade, jumps to M .M .A. Yeah.

[196] I don't know, man. I don't know.

[197] I mean, there's still a lot of guys who really like boxing.

[198] You know, I got in a famous argument years.

[199] back with this guy, Lou DeBella, on ESPN, where I was telling the boxing was going to get swallowed up by the UFC, by MMA, by a more dynamic sport.

[200] But I would have never done that if that guy wasn't a dick.

[201] I like boxing.

[202] I've always liked boxing.

[203] I've been a huge fan since I was a little kid, man. Just always been a fan of it.

[204] There's some, I also am a big fan of kickboxing.

[205] I'm a big fan of glory, and I'm a big fan of Muay.

[206] Because I think that there's things that you pull off in just straight kickboxing or boxing that you just can't do an MMA because guys will clench you, they'll throw you to the ground, you just, you can't get it off.

[207] You can't do most of this shit Floyd Mayweather does with leg kicks.

[208] As soon as leg kicks are in the mix, you can't do most of the shit.

[209] But to me, what he's doing is incredible.

[210] I mean, it's artistic.

[211] He's beating the game.

[212] He's going out at 48 and O with no brain scrambles.

[213] I mean, it's only been like tagged that I can remember twice, three times at maximum.

[214] Never been really fucking battered to the point where the fight's going to be stopped and he's got to come back like Goddy Ward or anything like that.

[215] None of that shit.

[216] But if you're going to stay interested in boxing now, you have to be a real fan of like the sweet science, you know what I mean, like the quote unquote.

[217] Because like there's just no, I mean it's just the not, people want to see knockout, you know, at the end of the day we're all.

[218] I guess so.

[219] I guess so.

[220] And we all want to see like, you know, people get knocked out.

[221] You want to see that violence that you like MMA's such a scary thing to the layman.

[222] that boxing's become less scared, because you're like, look at those size of those gloves.

[223] Like, these guys are going multiple rounds, and they're getting hit with, you know, there's like a sponge over your fist a little bit, you know, like.

[224] Yeah, well, it's definitely more, it's just, like, draws people's attention more.

[225] You can, I can, I don't, I really, I mean, I'm not just saying this.

[226] Here's what you'll never, you'll never, you'll never have, a girl will never go retroactive from UFC to boxing.

[227] I don't think so, but, but, but you can get a girl, like girls very easily I find getting the UFC.

[228] Really?

[229] I think girls get into UFC Very very easily What do you think that is?

[230] That's some gladiator gene shit They want to get some gladiator sperm in their body I think there's that actual yeah I think there's like the I think yeah Like the machismo of the whole thing And then also In UFC very specifically but in in most of the Televised MMA stuff I actually really I mean UFC really does it like the best Like if you just give your girl two episodes Of like the buildup shit like Dana Cormier, John Jones Like she was in she she invested interest in that Because we watched I made her go back and watch John Jones Like first thing when he came out he was the hero You put her on his course Yeah I just like made her watch it you know that half hour thing of him Like you know I saved the old woman from getting robbed And his story and his kind of hard luck story And growing up and she was like wow I really like this guy I'm like yeah watch his things now Like he just his personality is different And he just made himself like the villain sort of Well I don't think he names I think villains in actual sports, though, not wrestling.

[231] What's funny about that, I think in any kind of sport, actually, like, you know, even someone who hates the Yankees, like, if you meet A -Rod, you're probably still like Mr. Rodriguez.

[232] You know, you're meeting, like, a sports celebrity to some degree.

[233] You know what I mean?

[234] Like, I'd always say, like, fuck Michael Jordan.

[235] Like, I'm not, like, a Bulls fan of it, but it'd be amazing to meet Michael Jordan.

[236] You know what I mean?

[237] Don't you think, like, right now is a great time to get chicks into it, too, because of Ronda Rousey?

[238] Like, there's never been, like, I've never been a female fighter like Ronda Rousey.

[239] A hot check to beats the fuck out of everybody.

[240] She's so hot, and she really is.

[241] There's a video of her with Luke Rockhold, and she's got Luke Rockhold in what we call SpiderWeb.

[242] It's when you try to finish an armbar.

[243] Luke Rockhold is a fucking monster, okay?

[244] He's like 6 '3.

[245] He cuts down to 185.

[246] He's usually way over 200 pounds.

[247] He's a fucking stud at jujitsu.

[248] And Rhonda arm, she completes the arm bar on him.

[249] Like, he's defending.

[250] Like, he's really defending, and she completes it, and he has to tap.

[251] That's how badass she is.

[252] Like, do you?

[253] I don't think you know.

[254] No, like, if you've never been armbard before, you don't know how ridiculous that is.

[255] Like, a guy like Luke Rockhold should have, like, retarded defense.

[256] Like, he's an ace -level MMA blackout.

[257] Look at this.

[258] This is Luke Rockhold on the bottom here.

[259] Okay, Luke Rockhold, again, is world -class in the UFC at 185 pounds.

[260] Just beat the fuck out of Leota Machita.

[261] I mean, destroyed him.

[262] Took him to the ground, controlled him, smashed him, finished out the round.

[263] and here he is trying to defend against Ronda Rousey's arm bar and she's got a bunch of different techniques she uses to attack the grip that he's using she keeps adjusting and readjusting now see how he stepped over her head right there that's like fucking DefCon 4 like he knows he's in some serious trouble because if she straightens out his arm he's done and he's got to tap and she seconds away from straightening out his arm and he's going to get to the situation tap tap tap tap he had a tap she fucking tapped him dude she fights at 135 as a woman He fights 50 pounds heavier as one of the best men in the world that that's how fucking good her arm bar technique is There's never been a fighter in any fucking sport like her before no that's like a total pioneer Yeah, she's no one before her like her she she so impressed me on that last one I was a Katzengana yeah because I know it was over in 14 seconds but watching it just in real time I was like that was a series of lucky things that worked out for her in that position and then not luck though no I know and then when she said she said in the interview she's I've been working on that you know doing that transition yeah and she uh and then when you watch it in slow motion you see her make a fucking decision yeah to step over her by it was one of the craziest things I've ever seen yeah she's she's terrifying she's terrified and she's not like a you know cyborg was terrifying but so much because.

[264] Because of the size.

[265] It wasn't like any kind of necessary.

[266] I mean, she had a skill set, but it wasn't that that was so, it was just like, she was a thousand times bigger.

[267] Kind of like a man. Yeah.

[268] I mean, let's be, I mean, nobody wants to say that.

[269] It was like China.

[270] It was like, way worse than China.

[271] Way worse than China.

[272] I mean, just big wise.

[273] Yeah, she was like the side, but it was different because you were getting to see her actually hit people.

[274] Like, you know, like China was really impressive because she was big and strong and you're like, she had, she was on fear factor.

[275] Like, China's yoked.

[276] I mean, she's a big girl.

[277] Like, if she, you know, if you had a. wrestle her you're you that's a goddamn tussle that's a big gal you know she's strong you ever see a sex tape with her that's wrestling stop pussy boner stop it that's total wrestling I'm trying to forget um did you watch the one where she did anal oh that was even better there was pro one more than one there was more than one oh she did did pro one she did she did she did professional porns she fell apart but yeah she did one where it's back door to China had a little poop on it you did it I remember it having a little poop but it was like a really famous porn dude oh went for it poor bastard both of them I don't know but my point was like when she you're not supposed to say the cyborg look like a man but when she was beating the fuck out like Gina Carano she was killed like a man it wasn't like the classic female body type so when she got busted from male steroids everybody's like of course yeah she looks different now though man she's become more feminine a lot more feminine but there's there's an honest debate as to what how much of you how much of what you do to your body when you alter it that severely how much you change this permanent.

[278] Like, they've done these studies on athletes that have taken anabolic steroids, and they've had permanent effects on their strength.

[279] Permanent.

[280] Like, not just temporary, but permanent, like, permanent improvements in strength.

[281] And so they wonder, like, how much of, you know, her getting off the male hormones?

[282] Like, how much does she lose?

[283] Does she lose all of it?

[284] Is it still fair?

[285] I mean, what is it?

[286] I don't know.

[287] You know, my stepfather, I think, is a pretty naturally strong guy, but he did a bunch of steroids when he was younger powerlifting that's what he did and uh you know even through his 40s and you know he's in his 50s now like the guy can still go out there and bench on just a day throw up like 350 pounds i mean i mean i remember in his 30 he's like we're doing like 455 and shit and he's not you know he weighs like you know a buck 70 buck 75 yeah those power lift to dudes man that's a totally different type of moving your body that's like some severe strength that's required to do like all this but i'm saying but the steroids i believe leave like definitely you still you still build a base I think is what happened I think it raises your base it definitely can I mean according to these studies but the question is it's it gets more complicated when it's a woman because it's not it's not even like she took like more of what she already had yeah she actually introduced some stuff that she's not supposed to have I mean you do have a little bit of testosterone when you're a woman but nothing like the levels that they take when they get into bodybuilding or powerlifting like the women that like even track and field women they people get they get caught all the time taking shit because it works i mean it changes their ever seen like bodybuilder porn like girl bodybuilder porn like just nude pictures like oh it's i mean it's a man's body i was watching one of those uh those my strange addiction shows and this lady that was addicted to bodybuilding and she her sister was on as a point of reference it was really interesting like her sister's like you're getting bigger are you going to keep getting bigger she's like i just love it this is what I look like now.

[288] I love it.

[289] I can't wait.

[290] How often do you work out?

[291] And she's like, I work out like three days a week.

[292] She's like, I work out seven hours a day.

[293] She was working out six, seven hours a day.

[294] Her fucking head was as big as Tito Ortiz's and my head glued together.

[295] She's a giant fucking neck, huge traps.

[296] Look at this, bro.

[297] Is that her?

[298] Is that the one from the show?

[299] Yeah.

[300] Look at the size of this lady.

[301] Jesus fucking Christ.

[302] Me and, uh, the years ago, maybe 2005 or something.

[303] In 2006, me and Patrice did the nasty show in Montreal together, and after the show, there was a bodybuilder chick who was a white girl, way into him, and really throw, and she was, but she was just saying stuff so sexy to him, Patrice was so, like, I mean, he didn't do anything with her, but I remember saying he was like, he was, I might just have to wrestle this big bitch.

[304] I was with a jihitsa girl once.

[305] That was very intimidating.

[306] Yeah, but that's a, she's a regular -sized gal.

[307] She's an actual.

[308] This other one that I don't know if you know about it was a different one yeah there's I've been with three Jiu -jitsu chicks before and one was definitely bigger than the other ones and she just had one of those big bodies and I remember her vagina I like was very clean and like no hair but yet had that explosion of pussy lip like brown pussy lip like it was like a meaty vagina and it was weird it was a weird I've never even fuck the chick with abs I don't think ever I had one gal that was a bodybuilder when I was like really young I think I was 21 and I dated this gal from New Hampshire who had a six -pack it was weird yeah she had a great body though her legs were incredible I mean that like in a dress like those bodies and dresses look great sometimes you know the girl's just like not abs like bodybuilder abs but just like a girl who's like a girl who's like a girl like there's a difference between a girl's strong looks like a girl or a gal like no offense the lady in those photographs was most likely on some male hormones I mean get the fuck out of here that's Vitor Belford in Brazil.

[309] I mean, look at the size of that chick.

[310] She looks like Mark Coleman when he won the heavyweight title.

[311] She's fucking huge.

[312] But that male hormone is why their faces look.

[313] That wasn't the face she was destined to have.

[314] No, she has a man's face now.

[315] She's very manly.

[316] I mean, like monster -like, poor gal.

[317] It's really weird touching a girl also when it's hard as a rock and not like soft and shushy.

[318] But I mean, okay, here's the question.

[319] Is that better or worse than someone who eats themselves into a gelatinous wall?

[320] of meat.

[321] I would take fat over that.

[322] Really?

[323] Yep.

[324] Like for a gal, for your lady friend?

[325] Fat chicks are awesome, yeah.

[326] I would hook up.

[327] I'd hook up with a, I mean, for the ones for the store, I'd go that direction.

[328] So you think like if you could get her off the sauce, she could probably woman up a little bit, right?

[329] They do.

[330] How much would she woman up?

[331] But she would still retain a bunch of it.

[332] You know how I know?

[333] Because there's a gal that lives in my friend's neighborhood and I go to visit them and she was apparently some Olympian bodybuilder back in the Dizzy and now she's like in her 50s and she looks like a monster really she looks like a monster just faces all she looks it's it's like and when I say monster I don't mean like the worst monster I mean like it would be kind of scary it's just what she's what she did was turn herself into a semi male semi female thing Like, she's changed.

[334] Like, her appearance has changed.

[335] And it's become, you know, she's become more male than you're supposed to be, or than she was.

[336] You know?

[337] Yeah.

[338] You know, you can't go back either.

[339] I don't think you can, I think you could probably, like, I saw a gal had her chin shave down.

[340] She was some big bodybuilder lady, powerlifter, martialist.

[341] China did something like that.

[342] She had her chin shaved down because her chin got too big.

[343] Stop.

[344] China did all that.

[345] China used to have that square face.

[346] And then she changed.

[347] She became much more feminine.

[348] They start opening your skin, grinding down your bones.

[349] It's something that Arnold had that done, too.

[350] And Arnold had developed a very large upper brow area.

[351] And then, like, there's, like, before and after.

[352] Like, if you look at them in Conan, and you look at them.

[353] Skull shaving?

[354] Yeah, they shaved a skull down to something more reasonable.

[355] That's just a rumor, though.

[356] That's one of those rumors, like, the Richard Gear Jerbel one, well, you never really know.

[357] Me and my buddy literally just talked about those urban myths.

[358] Like, that was actually a, the gerbil up the ass was a specific Philadelphia newscaster.

[359] I used to say it about in Philly, like that story, that urban legend.

[360] And the other one was, you know, pumping a gallon of cum at a Rod Stewart.

[361] But you, wait a minute, you think you know the origin, like where it started from?

[362] Well, that's literally what we were talking about earlier was that, like, it's amazing how that got around so many years before the Internet.

[363] Like, that's, you know, for shit, for rumors that happen now, it's simple.

[364] One person of any kind of, like, you know, who has any kind of ear or any kind of voice for people, you know, like says something, and it becomes gospel to some people.

[365] Yeah, we've talked about it a bunch of times that that's the mother of all rumors, like that no other rumor came close.

[366] Because Eddie Bravo grew up in L .A., I grew up in Boston.

[367] We both heard about it at the same time.

[368] Yeah, you lived in Columbus.

[369] So it made its way across the entire country.

[370] But the Rod Stewart one was nothing compared.

[371] The Rod Stewart one was, what?

[372] He had his stomach pumped.

[373] Why didn't he just throw up?

[374] This didn't make any sense.

[375] I had it thrown up.

[376] I'm like, this is ridiculous.

[377] How much cum did you drink?

[378] Come on.

[379] It's a silly thing about it.

[380] That's ridiculous.

[381] Just puke.

[382] Why do you have to go to the hospital?

[383] How much cum could have possibly been?

[384] Are you going to go to the hospital and tell them you drank cum?

[385] Why, are they going to test it?

[386] How the fuck do they know what it is?

[387] You have to tell them it's cum.

[388] What is it?

[389] I don't know.

[390] It's fucking milk or glue or something.

[391] There's so much that has to come out.

[392] He was blowing Peter North.

[393] You imagine?

[394] Go into the hospital and just, first of all, I thought about how much I came.

[395] At the time, I was a young, young boy.

[396] I was probably like 12.

[397] when that rumor came out, and I was thinking about how much I can come?

[398] I'm like, how much more could a grown adult possibly come?

[399] It doesn't even make any sense.

[400] Like, how much could be in my body?

[401] Like, is he going to have baby bird come?

[402] Like, that's how much come?

[403] He just has a gallon.

[404] I'm taking that back, because, you know, now that I think about it, I think this came out when I was 12, so I probably had never come yet.

[405] Just that weird little shiver?

[406] I probably, yeah, I probably really didn't even know, like what the actual volume would be, so that doesn't make any sense.

[407] But I just did, like, they said it was like quarts or gallons or something like that.

[408] But at 12, you knew what come was.

[409] You just knew it wasn't happening to you.

[410] You can't really find it back then either.

[411] When did Pretty Woman come out?

[412] Because it came out after that.

[413] That was way later.

[414] That was way later.

[415] Didn't it come out after that?

[416] Yes.

[417] That's why we all knew who he was before that.

[418] American Gigolo.

[419] He was in a lot of big movies, dude.

[420] It seemed like it came out around Pretty Woman.

[421] But what was I was going to say?

[422] I probably just came up again because that was like a next big, big, big hit he did.

[423] It's just amazing that it made it all the way across the country like that.

[424] Yeah, no, absolutely.

[425] The word was that he had left Scientology, and that Scientology, where did I get this word?

[426] I have no idea.

[427] It's the most poorly researched word ever.

[428] But this is what I heard, is that he left Scientology, and someone in Scientology said, yeah, we'll fix that fucker.

[429] And they put out some crazy rumor that homeboy had a gerbil up his ass.

[430] I believe that.

[431] We've been following that whole HBO show and all this.

[432] Going clear.

[433] There's only the one documentary, right?

[434] But now they're making a documentary about that guy that made the movie.

[435] Scientology is.

[436] They're also making a documentary about Louis Thoreau.

[437] Louis Theroux, the documentarian from England, he's doing a special on Scientology.

[438] So Scientology decided to do a documentary on him.

[439] That's for it.

[440] Dude.

[441] Unless it was really good.

[442] And you're like, geez, thanks a lot, Scientology.

[443] Maybe you guys are pretty cool.

[444] That's a cool documentary.

[445] I don't think it's going to be.

[446] It's just really well done and everything's great.

[447] Yeah, it's all about roses I think it's a hit piece You know, I think that's what they're doing They're trying to intimidate people From paying attention to them You know, I just watched this morning I woke up on Netflix And I was watching a documentary called Tricked About the second How like guys pimped girls How they get girls, like young girls And pimped them out And the stuff they say and convinces them And the girls giving their account Of what, you know Like what the guy said to them And how they were like, you know So hey, I got invited to a party And then there was no one at the party And he goes, well, let's go have some dinner And then, like, you know, two hours later, it was like, suck this guy's dick in a car.

[448] It's the same, when you hear these, like, adults who are out of Scientology talking about, and the one guy was actually laughing a lot in the documentary saying, like, I know it sounds so stupid telling it to you that they were like, you know, if you don't sit in this room for the next three months, you know, you're all going to hell and your inner aliens are going to fuck you up or something.

[449] What are they called?

[450] They came out of a volcano.

[451] But you just get like, I don't know how someone could talk you into that stupid shit.

[452] Like, I really don't, the pimp mentality, I just, I guess I'm not that, uh, convincing of a speaker to even think that I could do some shit like that.

[453] I don't even, I think you're not a loser.

[454] And I think there's a lot of people out there are not saying that everyone who's a prostitute or a Scientologist is a loser.

[455] It's just, but let's be honest.

[456] Losers.

[457] That's a quote.

[458] The percentage is not so much in your favor.

[459] But the point being, it's like, if you're down and out and everybody's been down and out, there's certain people that get a different level of, down and out than you've ever been or I or you.

[460] That's the reality of it.

[461] It's not necessarily that it's their fault.

[462] It's just there's levels of down and out.

[463] And some people your life is shit from the moment you're born you're born into a terrible environment.

[464] Your parents are fucked up.

[465] Your family life is fucked up.

[466] There's all sorts of abuse.

[467] There's sexual abuse.

[468] There's violence.

[469] There's chaos.

[470] There's crime.

[471] There's starvation.

[472] You never know where your food's coming from.

[473] And then all of a sudden some dude comes along and he's giving you love.

[474] And that is reality.

[475] and it's not pretty and people don't like it but there's levels there's levels of fucked up you're talking about psychology I'm talking about all of it Scientology and prostitution and Moonies and you know the fill in the blank Mormon whatever that's how anything extreme recruits even like you know if you if you get away from just religion like white supremacists like recruit that way sure the downtrod I mean those documentaries in HBO used to be my favorite pimps up hose down no I mean skinheads USA did you ever see that one that's the one where the guy like you know their leader he's like and you know i leave him alone here i trust him during the day when i go work at the tire shop you know i mean he works in like a yeah you could use tire farm or something did you see what happened yesterday in texas no they had a draw mohammed contest or a draw mohammed art exhibit so some guys came and started shooting at them and uh they they killed these two guys that were shooting at this draw mohammed exhibit wow yeah shooting at people in texas is like I mean, seriously, that's like jumping in the water and try to bite a shark.

[476] Yeah.

[477] It might be one of the dumbest fucking things you could do.

[478] Everyone around, yeah.

[479] Everyone in Texas is armed to the tits.

[480] You can't just be shooting people in Texas, especially at a draw Muhammad exhibit.

[481] They should just have draw Muhammad exhibits and then just have, like, guys with, you know, police surround it and just wait for somebody to come.

[482] That's like a honeypot, you know?

[483] That's like a trap.

[484] That is a good way to shoot, like, really radical extremists.

[485] Yeah.

[486] But the idea that they think that they could shoot you because, I see this argued on Twitter all the fucking time.

[487] They should have been provoking them.

[488] If all they have to do to provoke you is draw a picture of a guy, what the fuck?

[489] Like, how could anybody be on their...

[490] How could anybody ever form that argument by saying, oh, maybe they shouldn't be paroching them?

[491] They knew what they were doing.

[492] They're doing that to incite violence.

[493] No, they're drawing.

[494] That's it.

[495] It's all it is.

[496] There's something designed to piss off there.

[497] I just don't think you don't...

[498] To get to the...

[499] point where they want to kill you there's not nothing nothing your mother could be sucking a gorilla's dick it's not good enough you know you you should your mother should be jerking off king con while godzilla fucks her mouth well no but i'm saying not enough you could draw that no one's gonna want to kill you but i believe in the thing it's like yeah draw mohammed who cares but i think you just shouldn't be show we we've already been over the shock that people will murder for this so it's kind of like when when that happens it's not a you know it doesn't blow you away as much I mean, if you hear about cops, you know, being in things where they killed a black kid, are you blown away anymore?

[500] Like, we're desensitized to that story almost at this point.

[501] Yeah, well, I guess we are to a certain extent.

[502] You know, there's definitely, we're not as surprised.

[503] It's still outrageous to people, but we're not as surprised.

[504] You know, it's just the idea that it's somehow or another excusable in any way, shape, or form it that you would think about that.

[505] You would think about, yeah, what they did is definitely ridiculous.

[506] If you don't want violence, it's definitely ridiculous.

[507] But if that's all it takes to incite violence, how the fuck do you end that cycle?

[508] You're just going to keep perpetuating that to the end of time?

[509] Is it perfect?

[510] It never needs any evolution?

[511] You're telling me, the idea at all that somehow or another it's offensive to draw someone is so fucking ridiculous in 2015 that anybody that defends in any way sure to perform, even like peripherally, you're way off.

[512] If you talk to Dave Attell, he'll tell you that the whole world's, like, more nervous than ever.

[513] You know what I mean?

[514] Like people are more offended than ever.

[515] Oh, they are.

[516] They are more offended than ever.

[517] It's a weird time for comedy.

[518] You know, there's a lot of shit that you're not supposed to make you.

[519] Like, people are actually saying, someone made a mild joke about Bruce Jenner.

[520] And people were saying, you know, hey man, it's not cool to make fun of him.

[521] Oh, it's not?

[522] That Jamie Foxing was so, like, benign.

[523] It was so benign.

[524] And then Bill Maher had one, too, and everybody was upset at it.

[525] Listen, you know, whatever's wrong with him, whatever's wrong with Bruce Jenner.

[526] To say that you can't make fun of that, like, well, then everything funny is off base.

[527] You got a guy who is an Olympic gold medalist and now become a woman and he still wants to be a he So he still wants you to refer to him as Bruce until he decides to change that He's shooting his lips up.

[528] He's taking hormones There's no humor in that really really?

[529] That's perfect and beautiful and peaceful Technically it's not too soon either because he's been wearing panties since like fucking 85 or something he said So he's been taking hormones for like two years, right?

[530] But he took hormones back like in the late 80s also He did?

[531] Yeah, yeah, yeah, in that interview he says that this is the second time he's ever ever done that so oh so he took he started and he had electrolysis take off all the hair on his face when he was way younger too he had no beer so yeah so he went through all this stuff like way way way younger so yeah so it's not even too like this is things that I mean people have been making jokes about him without confirmation from him for years even on that Kardashian show I mean making the same exact joke people are actually getting like like look at this prophecy when you know I don't just to throw a name out there was like you know like Dave Chappelle made a joke three years ago about this.

[532] Like, yeah, he's looked like a woman for the past fucking 10 years.

[533] Yeah, someone made a joke about it.

[534] There was a joke on Saturday Night Live or something in the 90s.

[535] Yeah.

[536] Yeah, about like a thing it was a woman from behind and it's Bruce Jenner.

[537] Or the opposite, thinking it was Bruce Jenner and it's a woman.

[538] One of those?

[539] You didn't watch the interview at all?

[540] I watched very little of it.

[541] There was some really great parts to it.

[542] I can't remember it now.

[543] Did you tear up?

[544] Oh, this is the point.

[545] I didn't tear up.

[546] I thought the whole thing was ridiculous and hilarious.

[547] not supposed to make fun of it, right?

[548] Because you're supposed to be open -minded and you're supposed to be supportive and kind to someone who's obviously transitioning through a very rough and difficult thing.

[549] That's all well and good.

[550] And I'm with that.

[551] I get that.

[552] But if you're not homophobic or transphobic or any of that, you really don't have any problem with anybody doing anything that they want to.

[553] Do whatever you want to.

[554] I'll totally accept it.

[555] I've zero problem with it at all.

[556] But to tell me, it's not funny.

[557] Like, please get the fuck out of You got a guy who's becoming a woman.

[558] Like, there's a guy who's six foot six who's playing college women's basketball.

[559] He's 50, okay?

[560] He was a man, most of his life, had children, just decided at one point in time that he wanted to be a woman, and then found out that because he's now a new sex, he can reenter college sports.

[561] So he played college basketball as a fucking man back in the day, and now he's playing college basketball as a girl, but he's 50, and he's a giant.

[562] Full sex change?

[563] Full sex change.

[564] So he's moving around with all.

[565] there's people that are freaking out about it and there's people that are saying you shouldn't make fun of it and you should just let it be like look to say this is not controversial is crazy you're a crazy person to say there's not some controversy in a six foot six 50 year old man playing college sports with girls i mean what okay now he's a woman so we have to call him a woman now okay but can we just concede that he was a man for 40 fucking years and has a man's frame and is enormous.

[566] Can we concede that being 50 is probably a little old to play a basketball against teenagers?

[567] No, because you've got to protect people's feelings who write letters and shit.

[568] Yeah, I mean, look at the size of him.

[569] The whole thing is like her.

[570] Excuse me. She's a girl.

[571] Even with the Bruce Jarthing, when I found so interesting is that I feel like by what people would say I'd be judged in my life as like transphobic, whatever that word means.

[572] Yet, I have no problem.

[573] I think you should be able to do it you want to do if you want to cut your dick off to get a pussy made by doctor get your dick cut off but I don't think I should be judged because I think that's bonkers you know I mean like if you want to do it do it I don't care I'm not afraid of me I wouldn't I wouldn't not shake somebody's hand because they were transgender and any of that okay but it's like I still think it's like a fucking I think it's a decision that you probably should have been talked out of by somebody so how maybe and maybe not see I'm not talking about even dressing like a woman or being gay or feeling this thing but I've made an argument many times and I've got many arguments about this because people just like jumped a gun on the words but with gay I'm you know my friend with me is gay here I have tons of gay friends of gay friends I have no weirdness with gay people at all but I think it's like a deviate it's like something that went kind of wrong almost like you know to the extent of like webbed fingers or something but there shouldn't be anything wrong with it and people should be able to do whatever they want to do who gives a shit Do you know what I'm saying at all?

[574] But to start, if you're going to start marring your body to do something where it's like, even when it's done, like, no one's, no one's really happy from the stuff I've read and watched at least with, like, their new pussy.

[575] I don't know.

[576] You can say that.

[577] You have to check a lot of dudes.

[578] You're absolutely right.

[579] A lot of gals.

[580] How do you feel about your new pussy?

[581] I said the stuff that I've, you know, seen in red, but two things.

[582] One, the idea that they're all the same.

[583] Like, there's levels of everything.

[584] You know, and there's certain people that want to be transgender, and they still want to keep their dick, you know, which is fine, too.

[585] I think there's some people that have mental illness, and there's some people that really do feel like they were born in the wrong body.

[586] I agree with you.

[587] There's nothing that, I mean, why would I?

[588] I think.

[589] But I don't think it's like a misfire, though?

[590] But this is what I think.

[591] It's very rare that you can cure something mental with surgery.

[592] It's very rare that, like, there's something that doesn't feel right to you, which I guess is a mental thing, or the, you know, how you view yourself.

[593] And you could fix that with surgery.

[594] That gets real strange.

[595] That gets real strange.

[596] Like, as far as, like, just accepting who you are and what you are and what nature is, I would never want to be the person to tell someone what to do.

[597] Like, you and I, we're both covered in tattoos.

[598] You know, what if someone came along and tell us we couldn't do that?

[599] I love tattoos.

[600] I think they look badass.

[601] You can't regret him at all.

[602] Joe.

[603] Yeah, I heard.

[604] I heard.

[605] But it's like, I don't give a fuck, man. Do whatever you want to do.

[606] I don't have any problem with it.

[607] But I don't know what, I don't know what you're feeling.

[608] So for me to even comment on it in any way is kind of ridiculous for me to assume, like, I know what's going on, whether I know you're crazy or whether I know that you were actually really born a woman or whether, you know, fill in the blank, a variety of reasons to decide you're in the wrong gender.

[609] You might get bored being a dude.

[610] You might have a bunch of women around you that you like more than you like men and you wish you were one of them.

[611] I know a dude who for the longest time was telling my wife he's gay.

[612] No, he's not gay, he's not gay, he's not gay.

[613] Boom, he comes out, he's like 46.

[614] This poor bastard, like, wasted his whole fucking life, pretending that he wasn't gay.

[615] I'm like, this dude is gay.

[616] I'm telling you he's gay.

[617] But he was always around these women.

[618] He would hang around them and talk with them and, like, be one of them.

[619] It's like you were, there was the energy in the room.

[620] Like, there's an energy in a room if there's a dude and, like, maybe his girlfriend or a bunch of their friends.

[621] There's an energy like, well, there's guys here, and he's not going to talk like us.

[622] But this dude was in the mix.

[623] He was in the mix with them about everything.

[624] Have you seen the new bag?

[625] Like, you would do that hand stuff that girls do.

[626] You know, he would move like them, man. And if you had gotten a hold of that dude and talked him into it, he probably would have become a woman.

[627] Really?

[628] I think he could have been, if you hypnotized him.

[629] You could have made him become a woman.

[630] But gay, man. See, that's a weird one.

[631] I think, first of all, definitely born that way.

[632] Definitely.

[633] I agree.

[634] But I don't necessarily think it's like a, I don't think it's a bad thing.

[635] They seem to be enjoying it.

[636] I think the only way it would be bad is if there wasn't enough people to reproduce.

[637] I think it's just a deviation I think it's a deviation like some people are tall That's the exact word I do I think it's a deviate But I don't think it's a negative You know, it just doesn't seem to be negative The only thing that would be negative Is that they don't have a correct hole to fuck There's this transgender webcam room That on chatterbait where you can look at transgender Doing webcam stuff And you just stumbled upon this And I was just, you know, no I was with this girl She's like, you got to check this out And I'm like, I don't want to look at this She's like, I want to see a good fake vagina.

[638] And there was this one guy that was, looked like on the top, looked just like Tom Seguer, like a normal guy.

[639] And on the bottom, he had a really well -done vagina.

[640] And it was deep.

[641] It was deep.

[642] She was jealous because he had like this humongous vibrator in him.

[643] And I didn't know.

[644] Listen, you are haunting dreams.

[645] I didn't know it was deep, though.

[646] It's such a weird throughout the world right now with that image.

[647] Tom Segura with a giant pussy, like a deep pussy and a shit.

[648] A huge black rubber don.

[649] I thought, like, the fake vagina wasn't a deep thing.

[650] I thought it was just, like, kind of, like, outer, you know, it's just split a dick open.

[651] I always assume it was as deep as long as your dick was.

[652] Like, they just turned your dick inside out.

[653] Like, almost like it was a simple just pushing the dick head, like, all the way back in.

[654] I think they do, like, real surgery now.

[655] If I remember, I think they can actually construct a tube in there.

[656] Yeah, I'm sure it's advanced.

[657] But, you know, I've interviewed.

[658] He was creamy.

[659] He was creamy.

[660] Like, so what's that cream?

[661] Is that cum?

[662] Well, it has to be, like, some lube that they use.

[663] No, he would.

[664] I mean, it has to.

[665] How much did you watch?

[666] It was probably spit.

[667] Do you know that movie X Machina?

[668] They weren't really robots, Brian.

[669] There's always, I've seen some fake jizz before, for sure.

[670] I've seen some fake dongs in porn.

[671] There's this one guy, every porn he does.

[672] He keeps his pants on, and his fake dong just comes through the hole.

[673] Oh, they make him, like, ridiculously huge.

[674] You can see the strap.

[675] It was just like fake.

[676] I'm like, who wants to see this?

[677] This girl fucking this guy who's a liar.

[678] He's got a big rubber fake dick.

[679] I interviewed twice now the, the transgender chick that dated Michael Phelps was born, like, both sexes.

[680] Oh, hermaphrodite.

[681] And then, uh, and became a woman.

[682] Well, that's, she had a lot of surgery, but, uh...

[683] But that's not transgender, then.

[684] I don't think that just, she just, she just did a porno.

[685] Right.

[686] She just did a porno.

[687] And she told me to look at the trailer, and I watched a trailer, and it's, it's odd -looking.

[688] But she has a girl's body, but it's...

[689] Is this available online?

[690] It's available, or yeah.

[691] Can we see the vagina?

[692] You can watch it right now.

[693] Okay, pull it up, Jamie.

[694] As long as it doesn't get on the U stream, we don't want to get Brad in trouble.

[695] It's called Going for the Gold.

[696] But if she was a vagina, let me ask you this, because it's so important.

[697] If she was born with both, if she, okay, let me ask you, if you were born with both, would you make a decision?

[698] I think in this day and age, you'd be better off being that one dude that can do it all.

[699] I mean, good luck for placing you.

[700] Why would have both?

[701] Oh, if you had a pussy and dick.

[702] Yeah, I mean, unless you're better off, you'd be better off, you'd be better.

[703] They make that decision, like, I think, crazy young.

[704] I think it's like a baby.

[705] Oh, like the parents make the decision.

[706] Sometimes I feel like a nut.

[707] Sometimes I don't.

[708] You just put your dick away like a gas pump.

[709] It's just into your own pussy.

[710] Parents would have way too much power to decide which direction a kid would go in that sense.

[711] Some people argue that same thing with circumcision.

[712] Well, you know, people have been circumcise and their dick got cut off.

[713] So they transitioned them to girls.

[714] do you know that they lost their dick and like a surgery mistake what am I going to see here am I going to get to see it in this huh this is they're going to show the box oh yeah yeah well she looks a lot like a gal oh so they have a swimmer come and meet her through the pool bam how rude whoa what's that her whole hand is just he's that a gay that's a man having sex yeah what he's eating it okay so is that guy what's going on I don't know what's going on what is that how do you see What is that exactly?

[715] This looks like regular sex.

[716] Yeah, this totally looks like a man having sex with a girl.

[717] Hmm.

[718] That looks like a total vagina.

[719] Like, if you didn't enjoy that vagina, you're just picky.

[720] Oh, wait.

[721] I thought this was her hermaphrodite.

[722] Okay.

[723] Well, we just saw a guy jerk off on a former male.

[724] A former male female.

[725] Former hermaphrodite.

[726] Trans sexed.

[727] Well, you didn't see the box there.

[728] They showed it.

[729] I didn't see it.

[730] Oh, there it is.

[731] Where's a close -up?

[732] There it is.

[733] Get a close -up.

[734] It looks like that.

[735] Yeah, it's, it's like a box with balls.

[736] It's, uh, you know.

[737] There's a large, Stitchious area above the box hole area.

[738] The lips are, uh, the far left is the most disturbing.

[739] Yeah, it looks like there's balls inside the lips.

[740] Mm. But again, like, if you're trapped on a deserted island and you get, you get mad at this, you're a picky fuck, right?

[741] I was trapped in a hotel lobby in two hours.

[742] Give it a whirl.

[743] I mean, we're all, you know, we're living in a weird world where there's going to come time, I think, if not in our lives, in our grandchildren's lives, but for sure, where they're going to be able to change your sex.

[744] Like, you're going to be able to see, yeah, they're just going to give you some sort of a genetic alteration.

[745] You'll be a woman.

[746] I don't think that's going to be outside the realm of possibility within the next 150, 200 years.

[747] They're just so, they're so close to fixing so many different things about people.

[748] And then once they fix everything, I mean, they're never going to fix everything.

[749] We're always going to have some diseases and colds and flus and shit.

[750] But I think they're going to be able to do some pretty incredible shit to your body.

[751] And then they're going to get to a point where people start going, you know what?

[752] There's a clinic in Thailand, and all you have to do is pay them $50 ,000, and, you know, you can become a woman, like a real woman.

[753] And you can turn back if you don't like it.

[754] And they'll show clients that every six years, they go back.

[755] You know, I was a man for five years, but I enjoyed a lot of lovely things that when I was a girl, I'd appreciate them all.

[756] And then, you know, it's balanced my perspective, being a man for 30 years, and a woman for five, then a man again.

[757] I just kind of get it.

[758] Four years I just took cock left and right maybe not maybe just yoga if you just live as a girl just do girl shit also the other thing you're gonna have to deal with it's like you see the perfect gal you know you see the perfect gal walking on the street like just big ass and thin waist and big tinned like Jesus Christ your genes just call out right like your DNA just goes oh my god like when if a group of guys were like this we were not rude right we're not rude people but if we saw some gal and she was outside of ear range like she was walking on the street you know you would probably be like, dude, look at this.

[759] And you'd go, oh, my God, nature's amazing.

[760] Look at the pole.

[761] We're all like, this is like a sunset or a fantastic art exhibit.

[762] You know, you're watching, like, nature's art, walk down the street in the shape of a beautiful girl.

[763] What if you could just get that?

[764] What if you just, bing?

[765] You just go to a doctor and then your body straightens up and gets straighter.

[766] You know, if you're a big boxy -type gal, your body slips down the waves, boink, your ass pops out, flunk, your tits pop.

[767] And then everybody looks hot as fucked.

[768] Isn't that like sexual communism though to some degree?

[769] Like you kind of want to keep it like...

[770] That's great terms.

[771] That's a big band.

[772] Sexual communism.

[773] That's a great band.

[774] You really do want to keep...

[775] Because don't you want to keep the elite?

[776] Because there is something...

[777] What I find interesting about looking at like chicks in that capacity at all, is that like there's some that are just fucking undeniable.

[778] Do you know what I mean?

[779] Yeah.

[780] Like, I pointed out girls who I thought were beautiful, my buddy's, like, you know, last night, it was like, that's an L .A. 6.

[781] And I'm like, I thought she was stunning.

[782] How about Beyonce?

[783] If you don't think she's hot, you're gay.

[784] You have to be gay.

[785] If you don't look at Beyonce and go, Jesus Christ.

[786] Like, you know that?

[787] What's that fucking song, if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on?

[788] Yeah, yeah.

[789] Yeah, she's very sexy for sure.

[790] Look at that.

[791] She's a fucking body, though.

[792] But even with Lord.

[793] There's a lot of girls that are undeniable.

[794] It's like they're attractive and pretty.

[795] But I'm talking about the undeniable where everyone's like this.

[796] and her prime Jennifer Lopez.

[797] Undeniable.

[798] Beautiful.

[799] Just get the fuck out of here.

[800] Samaheik and her prime was just fucking stunned.

[801] Undeniable.

[802] Undeniable.

[803] Kate Upton for a couple of years.

[804] Undeniable.

[805] That's it.

[806] Yeah, it's absolutely true.

[807] Like there's some people who there's, no one could even argue like, oh, their ass is too flat or it's too big or it's too, you know.

[808] Yeah, if you, you know, it's amazing.

[809] You know, like, Mickey Minaj looks, you know, some people think that's like ideal.

[810] Some people are like, it's retarded looking, you know, it's ridiculous.

[811] Well, the problem with that is, Did she always look like that?

[812] And if she didn't always look like that, how's her ass that big?

[813] Are those, am I looking at bags of water?

[814] Like, what am I looking at?

[815] I just saw her on, on SNL.

[816] I've seen her where her ass looks, you know, big fat and, like, good in like the porn -esque, I guess kind of way.

[817] Well, I saw it last time, she literally looks like a, like a battle droid.

[818] Just like some kind of like, like, like, just like tank, like, you know, like bottoms, you know what I mean?

[819] It's, like, isn't it in like the 90s?

[820] We never thought that was hot.

[821] We were like, look at that girl's fucking fat ass.

[822] Dude, I was just going to bring that up.

[823] Not that it was a fat ass, but it wasn't something that everybody aspired to.

[824] Yeah.

[825] Like, I was driving down the street the other day, and there was, like, some ad about building a better butt.

[826] You know, like, they're having classes at this gym just to build better butts.

[827] That's the thing.

[828] It's like, and we're for real.

[829] It's like on the billboard out here.

[830] And then you see all these girls squatting in the back and, like, oh, Jesus Christ.

[831] Like, what happened?

[832] What happened?

[833] Like, that's a major shift.

[834] You know what it was?

[835] Black male culture kind of dictated.

[836] the fashion and style and stuff for white dudes for a long time kind of taken over the style of that and now like finally like the black women are now kind of setting like the tone for like the body shape I think it was the depression I think people were so poor and starving they forgot that they liked big asses and then it took like a while before they woke up and they got through the 50s and the 60s and the 70s and 80s and then Sir Mixelot came along and he had that one song and everybody was like yeah wait a minute like why is it so great me and then you you too yeah what the fuck how can we be ignoring this and it's almost like somewhere in there there's like a research now it's everyone you talk to men like what's the most important thing you know what's the most attractive thing to a girl almost every guy says ass almost every guy it's the cola wars cola wars i'm a face guy well of course i mean face is important face will do a lot also as a guy who couldn't be picky when i was younger as a fat dude like face meant a lot yeah you know i mean if i You go with a pretty face I can look at, and if she was big, like, you know, maybe she'll say yes.

[837] Maybe she'll go back with me. It really sucks, too, when you get close to a girl, and then you notice, like, the sunlight shines on her face.

[838] They're like, oh, shit, she's got whiskers or, oh, she has no chin at all.

[839] She has, like, a weak chin.

[840] Someone's a little picky.

[841] No, I'm just saying that's how important faces, because, like, if it was tits or ass and the tits had this humongous brown mole on it, you know, you'd be like, oh.

[842] Do you know, it's weird for me, too?

[843] If someone said, like, tits or ass, like, over both of those, I'd rather see any girl's pussy.

[844] I don't know why that means the world to me. You're a pervert.

[845] I guess.

[846] Like a meaty, right?

[847] It's not even knowing that.

[848] Even if it's just like, even if it's just like, you know, hair.

[849] Like, just the hair, I'd be, you want to see the pubs, just a little pub?

[850] Sure.

[851] Just the mound, the pubic, pubic bone, the hump.

[852] When I remember being a teenager, what bummed me out when girls all started shaving their pussies bald was some girl told me, she goes, I go, let me see your pubes.

[853] And she goes, I shave my pussy bald.

[854] And I go, really?

[855] And then she pulled her my pants down to like the top of her Classy.

[856] We'll call it Pussy Slit, I guess.

[857] Gosh.

[858] What a good kid.

[859] It's amazing, though, how not exciting it was to see that.

[860] If there was pussy hair there, you'd be like, oh, I'm not supposed to see that.

[861] But when there's nothing there, you know what I mean?

[862] It takes away, like...

[863] Yeah, I hear you.

[864] And maybe it's maybe, you know, I'm 37th when I was a kid like all porn, everything was like pussy hair.

[865] And if you were...

[866] So maybe that's like what I'm just drawn to in that way.

[867] But I find it very like a, it really takes away...

[868] I mean, when a girl wears those bikinis were...

[869] just comes, like, you know, right above where their pussy starts, like, you don't feel like you're seeing anything that weird, but if you saw a girl laying down and some pubs were coming out the side of her bathing suit, that's actually, you feel like you're seeing more than if you saw all the top of her pussy.

[870] Right.

[871] That's what's that black crows album?

[872] What's that?

[873] America?

[874] America.

[875] That was gross.

[876] Yeah.

[877] That's a great album cover.

[878] Pull that up, that's from Hustler, I think.

[879] Was it?

[880] That's a great album cover.

[881] Black Crows are the shit.

[882] That big muff.

[883] They were the shit, son.

[884] Yeah, it's weird when you, I kind of forgot about pussy hair, and then when you see it, you're like, you kind of miss it.

[885] I missed it.

[886] Well, it's weird because when we're kids, it was, like, kind of iconic.

[887] It was, like, that represented, like, they would call it, guys would call it a beaver, you know?

[888] Like, just a little bit of pubes.

[889] Remember Samantha Fox in the 80s?

[890] And then they found out that, like, over in England, she did a bunch of, like, naked pictures and, like, yeah, big bush.

[891] She was a page six girl.

[892] Like, they had that, they used to have page six of their, like, newspaper where they would show tits.

[893] That's why they were so much more advanced than us with their art. That's why the Beatles and shit came from them.

[894] They were so much more relaxed.

[895] They would show tits in the newspaper.

[896] Relax.

[897] It's just tits.

[898] Everybody's so freaked out.

[899] And hair was more of like an eyelash for the vagina for periods and stuff, so it wouldn't get everywhere.

[900] And that's why girls are.

[901] That's not what it is.

[902] The, uh, the butthole hair was always disturbing, though.

[903] Yeah, I don't like that.

[904] Nobody ever liked the butthole hair.

[905] because some gals just did not know what they were doing when it came to wiping and back then nobody had a bidet and nobody had baby wipes it was toilet paper and sometimes some of it stuck around so i said you get this little uh it looks like joints for a little g -i -jo figures they're all rolled up they're all super tightly rolled up oh that's hilarious oh a little shit joint did you know those little nose trimmers that you buy you use that for your asshole also you can't yeah it's I was shaving it.

[906] I was unaware of that.

[907] Yeah.

[908] Well, it's not rocket science.

[909] It's not like trying to figure out solar power.

[910] Nose hair trimbers on your assail.

[911] It's just, if it cuts hair, it cuts hair.

[912] You know, it just does.

[913] And it doesn't, like, cut you and stuff.

[914] Well, couldn't you get, like, one of those face shabers, those little nice ones?

[915] Yeah.

[916] Down there with your assail hair.

[917] Yeah, what, I'm shaving your asshole hair.

[918] Yeah, well, I just leave my assail.

[919] You know what, though?

[920] You can do a way better job of cleaning it if your asshole is shaved.

[921] But your asshole will grow that hair.

[922] back like a wild bush and then in a couple days you'll be just squeezing your ass cheeks everywhere you go to keep from just digging in there and just itching just clawing at your asshole like a wolf trying to bury a caribou the stubble and ball stubble how come my face stubble barely bothers me my head stubble does like I got a lot stubble up here right now no doesn't bother me at all but Jesus Christ my asshole just like hey you start moving around in your chair it feels good when you wipe your ass and you grab a like a bundle of hair on the way out you know it's the best man one wipe charlie's you ever try those I want them so bad yeah what is that it's like a dude wipe like that kind of a thing like a baby wipe they made they made for men but they don't smell like flowers like you just got ass fucked by a flower floor I don't I don't use toilet paper anymore.

[923] Yeah, well, that Japanese thing is the shit, man. The bidet?

[924] Yeah, you're lucky.

[925] Yeah.

[926] I'm going to install one in here.

[927] Yeah, I'm going to install one in here eventually.

[928] I'm just going to shoot it.

[929] Does it shoot like high -pressure water?

[930] I'm over in the shit.

[931] Hang out for an hour.

[932] Is it high -pressure water?

[933] High -pressure water, warm air.

[934] It dries your asshole off.

[935] There's two different speeds to the water.

[936] It shoots in your asshole.

[937] To -toes.

[938] Woo!

[939] It also cleans your vagina if you're a gal.

[940] It cleans your vaguely.

[941] You can back your vaguely.

[942] up, get a little tingly, tingly.

[943] And if, you know, you guys have a little time.

[944] And you know, I was a gal, I was a gal.

[945] When we went to Japan, I just sat there.

[946] Seriously, for a half hour with the one shooting in my asshole, because it just felt so good.

[947] Because it hit, like, the back wall of your butthole.

[948] That's how long I'd have to do it to feel like I was, like, getting, I still feel I have to do paper afterwards.

[949] No?

[950] No. You didn't even walk out.

[951] It was worried.

[952] It was so clean.

[953] I mean, it was like taking a shower for your butthole.

[954] I'm pretty meticulous.

[955] It's, you're not doing as good a job.

[956] I'm telling you, you're just smearing.

[957] Even if you're using baby wipes, you're just smearing shit over your hair.

[958] Okay, imagine if I took some shit and I just rubbed into the top of your hair.

[959] You're like, I'm good.

[960] I got a baby wipe.

[961] Get the fuck out of here.

[962] You would never, you would never accept that.

[963] But if I had, you would get in the shower and you would clean your asshole hair.

[964] Fair enough.

[965] But if you told me I, if you told me I had 70 baby wipes and a roll of toilet paper, I'd take a shot there and get it out.

[966] Or a shower.

[967] Yeah.

[968] Jesus Christ.

[969] If I found out, hey, you've been dipping this fork and shit all day.

[970] Dude, don't worry about it.

[971] I rubbed it with 70 baby wipes.

[972] I'd be like, oh, that's not enough.

[973] You've got to wash this fucking thing.

[974] You've got to get it in the washing machine in these hot water and suds.

[975] But again, let's say baby wipes and toilet paper.

[976] Just trying to get my method approved.

[977] But still, you would pick shower before that.

[978] Shower is the best.

[979] But I also, in fairness, yeah.

[980] I don't, like, do anything, I don't go, like, out for the day, though, until I shower after I shit.

[981] Do you stand up or to wipe or sit down?

[982] Stand up, is sitting on even a possibility?

[983] What the fuck wipes their ass sitting down?

[984] You must have really shitty cuffs.

[985] I know.

[986] What are your cuffs?

[987] No, I don't do it.

[988] He does.

[989] I wanted you to do it.

[990] I stand up.

[991] Find a target.

[992] No, I stand up.

[993] Jamie, do you stand up or sit down?

[994] No, there's people, most people sit and they go, like, and they go, like, and they smell their sleeves.

[995] Smell their watch.

[996] I'm like, shit.

[997] One more about...

[998] Is that the Pupatron?

[999] One of my buddies told me he goes from the front, he like reaches between his legs and does it while he sees down.

[1000] That's great.

[1001] Smell his balls.

[1002] Oh, yeah.

[1003] How do you do that?

[1004] You don't.

[1005] You're not supposed to.

[1006] God damn.

[1007] It is a very specific protocol.

[1008] I imagine when people smelled like when they hadn't figured out wiping and then someone finally figured out how to just kind of clean the area off a little bit and everybody's like, oh, yeah.

[1009] Why I mean, why would just be covered with shit all the time?

[1010] When I used to do this poll on...

[1011] when it had redband .com, I did this pull it, and I did who stands up, who sits down, and it was like almost 50 -50.

[1012] You don't have redband .com anymore?

[1013] Oh, I do.

[1014] It's just four words now.

[1015] Oh, oh.

[1016] But yeah, it was 50 -50.

[1017] Like, I know all these people.

[1018] It's like the dress, the stupid dress.

[1019] But take into account, it's 50 % of the people that were going to your website.

[1020] Well, yeah, it was only like 100 people.

[1021] It's a small.

[1022] And all savages.

[1023] Sitting wipe is weird.

[1024] Yeah, it's very weird.

[1025] You're not going to do a good job.

[1026] Ari sits in wipes.

[1027] And you can see it.

[1028] Jew clam because he what's right it's documented well he should if ever there was if ever there was a like a billboard for stand up and wipe your ass it's the guy was singing wiping his ass something's wrong with his ass well especially that one that video is so ridiculous Ari had like a Homer Simpson's mouth asshole I watched it the other day it's still un -lively the uncensored version yeah it's still everyone watched that Well, we had a whole episode of my podcast, Legion Skanks, that I do, and he can't, and one of our buddies said that...

[1029] No, no, no. I need to see this, Jamie.

[1030] One of our buddies said he had a hemorrhoid, and he showed everyone his asshole, and then Ari said that he was like, do hold his asshole against Lewis's.

[1031] And, I mean, Ari's asshole blew everyone out.

[1032] I mean, it was like, uncommon.

[1033] I told him I was worried about.

[1034] Like, something's wrong.

[1035] months So it's still like that?

[1036] Oh yeah No yeah that's not going away man That's that Ari's gonna have flare -ups like that The Jew clam's still alive He never killed the Jew clam So really?

[1037] And he still has the skittal balls Like I swear to God If someone's gonna butt fuck Ari I feel like you could pull Ari's asshole Up their dick like a sock Well he's in Thailand right now He's probably getting his asshole Pulled up like a sock It's convenient place to test that theory The Brody Steven special please Oh my God God, that's so ridiculous.

[1038] Oh, my God.

[1039] Why?

[1040] What's wrong with that poor boy?

[1041] Aggressive wiping, dry wiping, I guess.

[1042] Aggressive dry wiping?

[1043] I mean, I couldn't picture what else would make that happen.

[1044] We're all ass doctors all of a sudden.

[1045] I remember.

[1046] I remember the night that happened, I sent Duncan Trussell a screenshot, and he calls me back and goes, Hey, man, what the hell is that?

[1047] That's a sock.

[1048] He got, he got, that's a pink sock.

[1049] I didn't even know what a pink sock was But that's what it looked like It looked like you got turned out Yeah Yeah, it's not He's got prolaps Prolapsed It's not good Oh God Jesus Christ And it's And it's skittal balls I can't believe We were at the comedy and magic club And we're like All right All right show us your butthole All right now show us your balls And his balls had all those little balls In it Those little tiny skittles Remember that?

[1050] No, that was at the Comedy and Magic Club You can't have a cream room You make Ari do stunts Like a fucking autistic kid Show's your butt now At the end of the Jew clam It's like six months later And you go, let's take a look back Or let's see what his butt hole looks like now And we're in the comedy and magic club And then Ari goes, all right, no no This is weird And he had skittles attached to his balls?

[1051] No, no, like his balls were really like They looked like they had egg sacks And them or something like tons of little balls Was wrong with them?

[1052] Like marbles?

[1053] It ends with you going What the fuck's wrong with your balls?

[1054] I blocked that out Like a child molestation I know That wasn't me It wasn't about comics That we like to show each other Our cocks And show each other our assholes I've seen When it comes to like my friend's dicks I've seen so many of my friends' dicks Like Joey Diaz used to pull his dick out all the time You know and it would be hilarious You know Duncan's pulled his dick Is Duncan pulled his dick out?

[1055] I've never seen Duncan I've always seen it It's because you want to cross All the lines you can That you can, that you can cross, like, possibly.

[1056] Right.

[1057] Like, you could, I mean, like, I've had some weird ones.

[1058] Ari had his balls out for, like, almost an entire episode of Opian Anthemones.

[1059] We gave this gal, stalker Patty.

[1060] We gave her a fake breast trip.

[1061] It was just a regular Listerine breast trip.

[1062] And we told her that it was a psychedelic drug.

[1063] And she took it.

[1064] We told that she was tripping her balls off.

[1065] And so she's there, and Ari pulls his sack out.

[1066] And we pretend like we don't notice it.

[1067] And she's like, oh, my God.

[1068] God, his balls are out!

[1069] His balls are out?

[1070] Like, what are you talking about?

[1071] So, look, for this whole episode, we're pretending that Ari's, and she is talking about how bad she's tripping, about how she can't believe, like, it was complete power of suggestion and placebo effect.

[1072] Like, she was tripping her balls off?

[1073] Did you ever show your dick and balls?

[1074] Did anyone at the store early days?

[1075] I don't know.

[1076] Bobby Lee's another one.

[1077] I've seen Bobby Lee.

[1078] Many pictures of Bobby tucked like a woman.

[1079] Every day.

[1080] With his pants down.

[1081] I've seen, in the bar area of the comedy.

[1082] tour so i've only i've only met bobby like four or five times and i've seen his dick and i asked a couple times i think yeah jamie always shows me his dick jim he's just always got his hog out um i don't know if i know guys with real big pieces will pull them out pretty quick too no it's not true because i've never done it i was going by the fact that i've never done it i definitely can't say i haven't shown someone my dick i haven't pulled it out for whatever reason i definitely have done it at least once but it's not a mainstay Like for Joey, for years, it was a mainstay.

[1083] Joey would have his pants because, you know, Joey doesn't really find belts at work.

[1084] He doesn't find pants that fit.

[1085] And so he's always at a state, always.

[1086] We could just shake, and his pants will drop.

[1087] And his balls and dick are just hanging out in front of everybody.

[1088] Joey did that.

[1089] I don't know how many times.

[1090] I got a picture of him carrying a waitress on his shoulder, and his pants are down by his knees, and his balls are, and his dick is hanging out.

[1091] And he's in the back parking lot area of the comedy.

[1092] store.

[1093] And by the way, this was back when Joey had zero career.

[1094] Joey gave no fucks even when he was starving.

[1095] Okay?

[1096] Joey Diaz has been Joey Diaz since the jump.

[1097] Like, he's always been a madman.

[1098] Like, before he was killing on the road and making great money, he didn't give a fuck even back then.

[1099] It was barely getting by, trying to hustle, get gigs together.

[1100] But he has always been like, that's like, he's the flag bear for not giving a fuck on the West Coast.

[1101] You say you don't give a fuck, but do you Joey Dia has not give a fuck that was always the flag bear he was always the standard isn't it where the girls don't just show their pussies more often like they don't just like you check up my pussy just like guys do there's not a couple it's a male thing but let me tell you but how far that's come is way different like how fast like average girls will pull their pussies out is pretty crazy well i think there's a lot of competition now too with all this tinder and all these different match dot com and all these different dating sites and shit people are just getting laid left and right like you get left out in the cold if you try to hold back i i mean that That fucking, what's that there, the websites about, like...

[1102] Ashley Madison?

[1103] Yeah, yeah, actually about, yeah.

[1104] Websites where it's like to...

[1105] People to cheat.

[1106] To fuck, yeah.

[1107] Can you imagine dating, like, a girl that her job was, like, a secretary to work for Ashley Madison?

[1108] You never trust her ever.

[1109] Nobody.

[1110] She would trust nobody.

[1111] You couldn't trust her.

[1112] No one would trust anybody.

[1113] Their jingles are great.

[1114] No one on the radio.

[1115] Yeah, it's hilarious.

[1116] I mean, what a great idea.

[1117] Make a website that helps people cheat.

[1118] And what's so smart is in their commercials, too, they have it, be a, a girl getting caught by her husband using Ashley Madison.

[1119] And then he goes, she's like, you know, I don't want to be celibate anymore.

[1120] And he goes, yeah, I understand.

[1121] He's like, she goes, you know, maybe you should try it too.

[1122] Like, you know, like saying we should both just, and it's like, that's probably not how it goes.

[1123] Please, it's going to, gun's going to come out, shots fired, cops show up, no one wants to go in the house, domestic violence, always a scary shing things for police officers.

[1124] The only thing on the computer, Ashley Madison .com.

[1125] You fucking cunt.

[1126] Fuck you!

[1127] Bang, bang!

[1128] They're shooting back and for each other.

[1129] Ashley Madison, this is what we do.

[1130] It's crazy, man. 500 % spike from women on the day after Mother's Day.

[1131] Well, that's what they're saying.

[1132] According to its data.

[1133] Come on.

[1134] They have data.

[1135] 442 % increase in sign.

[1136] That's what we expect.

[1137] Come on, where's your fucking data?

[1138] It's Ashley Madison math.

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] This is a fluff piece.

[1141] You know, this ain't no scientists are doing.

[1142] studies on whether Ashley Madison is going to experience an uptake in business.

[1143] They did that to make, you know, people pay attention to them.

[1144] I'm not on it.

[1145] What?

[1146] I've never done Tinder.

[1147] Really?

[1148] You don't need to, you sexy bitch.

[1149] Well, no, but my girl.

[1150] Slinging dick.

[1151] Tell them jokes.

[1152] My girlfriend, uh, she's on Thrinder where you try, but that doesn't work ever.

[1153] Well, you become friends?

[1154] No, no, no. She's on Thrinder where you're like, it's trying to find threesome.

[1155] Like, find girls for threesomes.

[1156] Yeah, but I don't know.

[1157] It hasn't worked yet.

[1158] Maybe it's only been a couple weeks, I guess.

[1159] You need cocaine for that.

[1160] That's the only way that works.

[1161] No, you need cocaine.

[1162] I'm sure you have a few times.

[1163] Yeah, you're right.

[1164] It's not, it's not, yes.

[1165] Like, man did start fires before they figured out lighters.

[1166] You're absolutely right.

[1167] But it wasn't so good sitting there with some fucking moss and a stick.

[1168] You're absolutely right.

[1169] I guess coke would help.

[1170] Coke helps for sure.

[1171] Yeah, that's...

[1172] If you try to get her to pull strippers, they're already coked up.

[1173] You don't have to worry about it.

[1174] Look at you.

[1175] You're thinking ahead.

[1176] I love it.

[1177] I love it.

[1178] It's good at strip clubs.

[1179] I mean...

[1180] Don't you feel like...

[1181] You know, I went to the strip club once.

[1182] It was her first time, and she did pull a stripper.

[1183] She was great.

[1184] Some guys feel, at least, that are comics, that, like, the lifestyle is so ridiculous.

[1185] You're in a nightclub every fucking night.

[1186] You're drinking all the time.

[1187] You're smoking pot.

[1188] If anybody's got mushrooms, you're going to do those two.

[1189] You're eating at 3 o 'clock in the morning.

[1190] You're getting up whenever the fuck you want to.

[1191] You're hanging out with hilarious, ridiculous people that want to get high and go to the movies at one in the afternoon.

[1192] You're like, fuck it.

[1193] do it and you're laughing all the time you're going on the road hanging out and going from airport to rental car to hotel all these cracking jokes like there's very few people that can relate to that kind of debauchery most people are so tied down to some crazy nine to five corporate life job life business life where you've got to fucking pretend to be somebody for eight hours a day you can't be loose you can't be free and everybody's trying to conform to that in their after work life too everybody's like this weird fucking the father knows best type clone figure of what an adult and a family is and comics were out there living this weird chaotic life but i've actually very young had to really balance both those worlds and i did you know it was not the right thing to do i guess in many ways and it was done poorly but when i got right to the point in comedy it was about like 23 i've been doing it for like three four years and i was in the world where now i was like going on the road and like if i was opening for a tell or patrice and getting pussy and stuff like that and kind of living that lifestyle like i also was you know married with a baby daughter you know i mean like my daughter's 12 now and i'm 36 you know i mean so she's almost 13 so it's like uh it is weird i did have to do both those worlds though you know i was picking up from school every day and then you know two weeks later you know i'm in road aisle with my buddies and there's you know some fat girls blowing everybody and you know i mean just like weird shit like you you know what i'm saying like just like it it was very weird just to straddle those worlds because you're also trying to instill morals and class into somebody while you're just like anything it was i mean i did just like like sexual stuff especially man like so much stuff just for like girls i wasn't even attracted to i'm just like well she will blow me and you know i have an opener with me and she'll suck his dick too and whatever you know like just insane behavior that most people the average guy even in the world of like you know sexual looseness that we're in kind of now with that stuff with all social media like not a ton of guys have had like threesomes with it's even one of their two buddies fucking a girl or two girls at once let alone like some of the shit someone way better looking than me has not I've done a lot more stuff well they don't have time right most people are going from college you have whatever sex you can get in college and then you know you're working all the time trying to get your degree then you get a degree you get a job you're getting the job you're working overtime you're always exhausted like where's the time for threesome's where you fit in your coke time you know all that's that stuff That's what I was going to say is, like, a lot of comics relate to strippers because strippers are also living this crazy sort of debauchery -filled life as well.

[1194] You know, they're making way more money than the average girl.

[1195] They're dancing on polls.

[1196] They're partying with friends.

[1197] They're totally irresponsible.

[1198] And they're fun to hang around with because they don't judge you for being a fuck -up as much as, like, say, a gal who's a lawyer.

[1199] You know, when you're a loser comic and you're dating a girl who's a lawyer.

[1200] My daughter's mother's a lawyer.

[1201] Oh, that's hilarious.

[1202] It is.

[1203] It's pretty funny.

[1204] It's hilarious.

[1205] So she went to school.

[1206] She did the whole thing.

[1207] She did the hard work.

[1208] She got her fucking law degree.

[1209] She took the bar.

[1210] I mean, fuck, man. Yeah, like no shit.

[1211] And I tried in years past to kind of like, there'd be these flickers where I try to like bring her into the debauchery.

[1212] You know what I mean?

[1213] I'm like, hey, we should do some of this weird shit together.

[1214] And she would, but I felt like I was corrupting a square that kind of wanted to be a square.

[1215] You know what I mean?

[1216] I thought she's a square.

[1217] when I present like that but it's just like I felt like I was like this is you wouldn't be involved in this kind of creepy shit if it wasn't for me yeah you know this isn't where you want to you know I got to I this there's nothing wrong with the term square but I agree with you there's nothing wrong with being a square too right no like if that's what you're into like there's a lot of people that just like they like going home having tea and reading a book like that is a nice night for them like what's why not if it brings you genuine joy why is it why do you have to go to a rave you know what why do you have to go on Thrinder and find some of the lost soul to partake in this damn way to put it for lost souls Asian lost souls we're all I mean every just do whatever the fuck you want to do the more people will get over that the more I think that's one of the things that I really truly have hope for with this new generation of kids all these people I think growing up excuse me growing up with the internet I think they're just going to have a totally different acceptance of people being different.

[1218] I just think that we grew up in a weird time, man. We grew up, I mean, I'm 10 years older than you, so I grew up mostly kind of in the early 80s.

[1219] You know, I went to school in 81 was my first year of high school.

[1220] So I think that we just grew up in a time where we were just guessing.

[1221] Nobody, nobody kind of knew how many people were out there that were filled with the same amount of angst.

[1222] You kind of guessed by the movies that we all gravitated towards, or you guess by the songs that we all listened to.

[1223] This fucking coffee.

[1224] with butter in it, dude.

[1225] I might have to stop.

[1226] Might have to go straight black.

[1227] Go back to Starbucks, bro.

[1228] I'm not going back to Starbucks.

[1229] Cade Man coffee all the way.

[1230] But the butter, man, is not good pre -podcast for the Phlegm production.

[1231] The point is, we didn't know, man. Everybody knows now.

[1232] You know, like if you're, like, transgender is a perfect example.

[1233] We're talking about, like, people that feel they were...

[1234] If you were a fucking kid and you were growing up in 1984 and you were a woman trapped in a man's body, you had no fucking friends.

[1235] You had no recourse.

[1236] Good luck trying to find out.

[1237] other people just like you what are you going to join some club somewhere that harbors them where they have to come out and admit that they're part of this no now you go online you could find a whole community of people sure for anything for anything for like say but even like you know there's communities of fucking pedophiles that they find each other which is like you know horrible that is horrible man and that's that's a real that's a real issue you know that was one of those um who's that fucking piece there was a big expose piece about uh this guy and his boyfriend who raised their son to be like a sex slave.

[1238] They were bringing his son to all these other grown men.

[1239] I forget, you know what I'm talking about, Jamie?

[1240] Have you seen this?

[1241] You know, I don't even want to talk about it because it's so disturbing, but it was a crazy expose where they followed these guys for a while, and they suspected it.

[1242] And apparently they had kept this very close -knit relationship with all these rich pedophiles all over the world, and they brought their son all around them.

[1243] And he was a really young boy.

[1244] And they were using him as this sex slave.

[1245] And they had figured it out somehow or another.

[1246] They figured out how to crack this group of tight -lipped people.

[1247] Eventually someone, you know, an email slipped out or something.

[1248] And they figured it out and eventually brought these guys to put this poor kid.

[1249] I mean, what the fuck, man?

[1250] These are the people that love you, your parents.

[1251] And you're being paraded around with them, like this is this perfect family.

[1252] And meanwhile, you're bringing this kid around to all these pedophiles, and they're fucking them.

[1253] Sociopath or psychopaths?

[1254] I think that's both, right?

[1255] I mean, that's a sociopath in that you have no empathy and a psychopath and that you're doing damage, right?

[1256] Is that?

[1257] What is the difference between sociopath?

[1258] I know I say that all the time.

[1259] Psychopath can feel emotion.

[1260] Yeah, I'll find it right now.

[1261] Psychopath does feel emotion.

[1262] It's like a fleshlight that can do chores.

[1263] That is a horribly fantastic way to put it.

[1264] It's like a room, but with a butthole.

[1265] Okay, here's a difference between a psychopath.

[1266] and a sociopath.

[1267] Okay.

[1268] Let's see this.

[1269] Society is conspired with Hollywood playing two seemingly sexy psychological terms.

[1270] Do our collective consciousness, psychopath and sociopath.

[1271] Psychopath and sociopath are pop psychology terms for what psychiatry calls an antisocial personality disorder.

[1272] Today, these two terms are not really well defined in the psychology research literature.

[1273] Nonetheless, there are some general differences between the two types of personality types, which will look in this article Both types of personalities have pervasive patterns of disregard for the safety and rights of others.

[1274] Deceit and manipulation are central features to both types of personalities.

[1275] And contrary to popular belief, a psychopath or sociopath is not necessarily violent.

[1276] Okay.

[1277] So psychopath and sociopath, they share a diagnosis.

[1278] There's antisocial personality as someone who has three or more of the following traits.

[1279] Regularly breaks or flaunts the law, Big J. Okerson, constantly lies.

[1280] and deceives others.

[1281] Brian Redband is impulsive and doesn't plan ahead.

[1282] Joe Rogan can be prone to fighting and aggressiveness.

[1283] Joe Rogan has a little regard for the safety of others.

[1284] Brian Redband.

[1285] Irresponsible.

[1286] Can't meet financial obligations.

[1287] Doesn't feel remorse or guilt.

[1288] That's none of us.

[1289] We definitely feel guilt.

[1290] So Brian, you're most likely to be a psychopath.

[1291] Me?

[1292] Yeah.

[1293] Most likely?

[1294] 1 % of the general population.

[1295] sociopath, 4%.

[1296] Both suffer from antisocial personality disorder, both lack empathy, both demonstrate complete disregard for the social rules and behavior standards.

[1297] That's Brian.

[1298] Both fail to feel any remorse or guilt.

[1299] That's not you at all.

[1300] Both are violent.

[1301] That's not you at all.

[1302] So that's weird.

[1303] What's the difference?

[1304] Okay, whatever.

[1305] See, this is where I zone out.

[1306] Pop psychology is a great word, too, because when it does get into the, you know, when it becomes part of the collective conscience, as it says, like, people just scapegoat those things so much.

[1307] How many people have you made you like to just call themselves bipolar?

[1308] Look at this key difference.

[1309] Psychopaths are as likely to be educated and have a good career.

[1310] Sociopath is likely to be uneducated and unable to keep a steady job.

[1311] That's fucking interesting.

[1312] That is really interesting A lot of these And psychopaths have controlled behavior Where sociopaths have erratic behavior Huh That's interesting Yeah Huh That's fucking weird man Either way Fucked up Both highly manipulative Impulsive spontaneous sociopath more responsive More spontaneous And psychopath more manipulative Fuck man You could You could find yourself in a few of those and then things that are definitely not you and all of them too.

[1313] You know, I mean, like, there's definitely things in there where, you know, when I'm feeling downtrod and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm like a highly manipulative person and it'll make me upset at myself.

[1314] But that, just the next thing under there is like it's because I have personal tat.

[1315] You know, like I'm, I don't want to hurt people or anything like that.

[1316] You know what I mean?

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] I mean, I just feel like when you break variables down like that to like two columns.

[1319] That's what I mean, yeah.

[1320] You find too much of yourself and none of yourself and all of it.

[1321] None of yourself.

[1322] You're complex, man. I mean, you're a fucking, you're a lot of different things, and you're a lot of different things from week to week.

[1323] I mean, you're a different person one week, and then the next week, you know, things might be going way better in your life, and you just, I mean, you might interact with the exact same person, the exact same moment at a totally different way, which makes you, like, pretty much a different person in a lot of ways, that you change all the time.

[1324] I think the real thing is empathy.

[1325] People who lack empathy, that really scares us.

[1326] People who will victimize other people, like ruin other people, want to kill other people, want to do harm to other people, stalked people, that kind of shit.

[1327] That freaks us out.

[1328] And that's what we're really worried about.

[1329] We're worried about someone who goes after someone, like someone who tries to harm them, especially physically.

[1330] That scares his shit out of us.

[1331] Like someone could just, like you've ever seen a video of this guy who was into just stabbing people in the ass?

[1332] No. Yeah, he stabbed a bunch of people.

[1333] They got him on a security camera.

[1334] This guy was in like a retail store.

[1335] Just walked us.

[1336] some dude just shanks this guy in the ass like five, six times before.

[1337] He doesn't even know what's happening.

[1338] It's a black dude doing it to a white guy too, which makes it extra spooky.

[1339] Like, you, the idea that you could just zig when you should have zagged, and then you run into some guy who has a buck knife, and he's just shoving it in your ass in a department store.

[1340] Like, that's possible.

[1341] Like, you could run into that guy.

[1342] That kind of stuff freaks us out.

[1343] There was a, in the East Village, maybe a year ago, And they've had video of it Which is pretty brutal It's just a little old Asian guy walking home Like I think it wasn't even that late at night Maybe like 10, 11 o 'clock at night And I could be wrong about that But there's this video and this Black dude goes up behind him It's a little old Asian guy And he just starts beating him against a wall He just beats him to death In the middle of the street Out of nowhere unprovoked I mean comes up behind him And attacks him The word was he was like You know all screwed up on drugs The kid Like whacked down on something but the police station is on my block in the East Village so they brought him in there so that we saw all the news vans and everything out there and you know me and my my buddy went over and we just kind of watched the guy come out and like to be a part of something like that like his face when they brought him out was like he definitely felt something do you know what I mean like he had like a kind of a scow on his face but it didn't seem like just the face of a guy who just like was involved just that violent of an action like there's a death like a death happened and it was all and it wasn't even like a just like the idea of i you know we all fear those things and also i don't see myself to i don't see my i know i know i know i know fight or flight obviously but hitting someone in the head with a hammer like the the thought of what that would just do like the thing of like the actual physical action of that is mind blowing i couldn't possibly wrap my brain around being there just like some people are just so smart you could barely understand half the fucking shit they're saying it's like when you talk to the particle physicists and they're talking about CERN and these experiments they're doing, trying to locate the large, you know, the, using the large Hadron Collider, try to locate the Higgs -Boson particle, like, what the fuck, man?

[1344] Are we really the same thing?

[1345] But there's not the dudes whose brains go off in a different direction in a way that you can't even recommend.

[1346] Sure.

[1347] You couldn't even recognize.

[1348] And the thought patterns are someone who just walks into a Walmart with an axe and just starts taking people out.

[1349] Like, those people exist.

[1350] The guy who got on the tower in Austin, Texas, that one.

[1351] day the schools in the university yeah it was back in the 60s or the 70s he just started shooting people from the tower until they finally took him out but fuck man did you know with uh Ted what the hell was his name Ted Bundy no not Ted Bundy the Charles Whitman is who you're talking about the guy from the tower Texas yeah doesn't know apparently when he was autopsied he had a tumor on his temporal lobe took away all of it so when it just got big enough it took away all his inhibitions actually killed everything he saw on his way to that tower he killed a dog he killed his dog at home he killed i think maybe his girlfriend but he killed a few people on the way so it was just he would actually been found not guilty today i heard arguments about saying people say he would not be found not guilty because that that was actually a physical problem that guy had but but you know can can you am i saying the right word here behaviorally uh teach someone to become a psychopath because you know we're in l .a now too which you know was always home of like the Crips Bloods, gang wars.

[1352] I mean, you just take these kids.

[1353] They're willing to, like, shoot in the crowds indiscriminately and just kill people.

[1354] And then, you know, and later that night play mad.

[1355] Well, you can if you raise them in a totally fucked up way from the time they're born in the worst possible environment.

[1356] People imitate whatever atmosphere they're in.

[1357] If you're in an atmosphere that's filled with violence and horrific crime, and that becomes the norm, and you get your respect by committing more violent and more horrific crime so that everyone's afraid of you.

[1358] and you become this bad motherfucker with a lollipop which just shoots people in the face there's a lot of dudes like that because that's where they get that good feeling they get their good feeling of accomplishment by being the biggest fucking psychopath around that's just a total failure of the environment that person's being developed in but that's also what they have to do in war man I mean that's what war is all about turning people into psychopaths do you see that fucking thing I posted on Instagram today look at this thing pull up this image that I posted on Instagram is from World War I now look at this picture is 20 years years before King Kong.

[1359] And the picture is a propaganda picture depicting the Germans as savages.

[1360] Oh, wow.

[1361] This was about Germany.

[1362] See, he's got this club in his hand, and the club says, culture, K -U -L -T -U -R.

[1363] That's, like, I guess how you say it in Germany, maybe?

[1364] I don't know.

[1365] But it's supposed to represent German culture.

[1366] And this was, this predated King Kong by 20 fucking years.

[1367] But it's a gorilla, like, with like a crown, like a German, uh, a German, a German, a German, helmet with a spike on the top of it and the gorilla's holding a woman and her tits are out her tits are out you're allowed to show tits back then even in an army propaganda film you got to protect the tits and this gorilla with this club it says destroy this mad brute and then it says uh america and if you go to uh jo rogan on instagram you could see it it's pretty crazy in this in the sand it says america that i wonder if they they kind of stole the idea for king kong from that poster i wonder that was a pretty well -known poster back in the day and maybe the writer got the idea from could have could kid could have grown up seeing that you know and then 20 years later made a movie like it i mean i think but the idea of gorilla you know at the time this is another really interesting point at the time mountain gorillas were not even known to be real like mountain gorillas really only became known for sure in the early 1900s so this is a real relatively recent animal in a lot of ways.

[1368] Like gorillas, like there's always been like talk of gorillas and different types of primates and they've always known that chimpanzees existed and orangutans were very confusing to people in the early 1800s.

[1369] But when they were documenting all the different animals, they didn't definitively document the mountain gorilla until the early 1900s.

[1370] So you're looking at something probably, I guess that's supposed to represent a mountain gorilla or some kind of gorilla.

[1371] You're looking at something that was like a relatively recent idea to people, this picture of a gorilla and it's also you're looking at something you're also looking at something that's only probably 50 years after the invention of photography you know so i mean think about 50 years ago you know you're talking about like 1960 something right think of that think of the 1960 something we're still driving 1960s cars around there's a lot those are classic cars that was when the fucking photograph was invented for them and here they are looking at this image of a gorilla carrying a woman like whoa like the idea of a gorilla was pretty recent yeah but that's Germany, isn't that crazy?

[1372] Like France and England were supposed to be civilization and Germany, these were mad barbarians from like the Roman days.

[1373] Like that's what, the Germanic tribes, that's what we thought of as Germans in the 1900s.

[1374] They connected them to barbarians.

[1375] Really?

[1376] Yes.

[1377] Isn't that amazing?

[1378] So much of that when we went to war with them they couldn't have been more sleek.

[1379] You know, like it was such like, it was probably, you know, they were so advanced in so many ways.

[1380] So much engineering.

[1381] weaponry and all that shit they were like pretty you know but to this day the automobile industry their cars are some of the most advanced cars in the world the germans make mercedes they make bmw and they make portia i mean we're done those are like the three like if you've if you had to pick like a top three most advanced best engineered high -end cars those are the three like those are the top of like ferrari's are badass but everybody knows that fucking thing's gonna break If you're one of those guys You're gonna crack if you bump into some more Yeah you buy a fucking Ferrari Like bitch you know you can't go to Vegas And that thing You're gonna be halfway in the desert And something Bang bang bang bang Whomobobbubbub Have you seen that car that Goes on air It's called like blow Or leaf or something like that It goes 100 miles on air And it has a compressor in it That takes four hours to charge You just plug it in Or you can go to a gas station And if they have have like the compressor for your you can fill it up in four minutes dude you got to be kidding no and what's crazy is it's uh already big in the u k it's they're just now making a plant in hawaii and uh it's only cost $10 ,000 wow that's a game changer yeah we're spagely on that yeah it's probably the CEO it was uh it was on shark tank and they all blow in it if you're really strong lungs you're right pump it up that should be like your workout every day it's pumping your car up like an airplane ramp but i mean you're going to I see people in smart cars in New York.

[1382] It's terrifying.

[1383] Dude, that doesn't even have two wheels in the front.

[1384] That's a bike.

[1385] I don't know if that's like the same one eye saw.

[1386] That's a bike with a helmet on.

[1387] The Oracle Mobile.

[1388] That's what it is.

[1389] The air pod.

[1390] The air part was on Shark Tank.

[1391] Oh yeah, I guess that's it.

[1392] Let's see a video on this bitch.

[1393] Yeah.

[1394] That looks to me like a bike wearing a helmet.

[1395] That's all it looks like.

[1396] That does not look real.

[1397] It definitely doesn't look like something you'd be safe in.

[1398] How does that pass all the crash standards and all that shit?

[1399] Well, that was one of the things like all the...

[1400] Sharks didn't invest in it because, you know, they don't, they only have three prototypes of this.

[1401] And it was just about to go into the manufacturing, so they haven't done the actual test yet.

[1402] Why don't you just Google it, Jamie?

[1403] Just Google AirPods video.

[1404] Because we can't just go on their Facebook page and click on every link.

[1405] You're going to get this dog shit.

[1406] This is how we made the seat.

[1407] I want to see you.

[1408] He was a fuck about the seat.

[1409] We'll stand if you could travel 100 miles from air.

[1410] A type of foam that's very light so we can drive forever on air.

[1411] Look at this fucking thing, driving around.

[1412] This is crazy.

[1413] That gets no traction.

[1414] Oh, God, that's so scary.

[1415] Imagine if you were on black ice and that piece of shit.

[1416] Can you imagine?

[1417] I believe you could make that same thing if you could pedal it.

[1418] You could probably pedal something that size.

[1419] Yeah, right?

[1420] Probably pretty good.

[1421] Back up a pedal.

[1422] A boost.

[1423] The pedal be a boost.

[1424] It's a moped.

[1425] Look how you get out, though.

[1426] That's so jettins.

[1427] Oh, and you control it using a joystick, like a video game.

[1428] Whoa, that is trippy.

[1429] That's true.

[1430] But what if you want to text?

[1431] and drive.

[1432] You can't even do that.

[1433] You need two hands to control this pitch.

[1434] I want in the middle like Maverick if I'm going to control the joystick.

[1435] That's probably a good idea to keep people from texting and driving.

[1436] Make them control the car with two sticks.

[1437] Two hand joysticks, yeah.

[1438] One for turning, one for going straight and back.

[1439] But you can't look slick.

[1440] Like if you're rolling your 6 '4 and you got your hand up like this, well, winning my 6 '4.

[1441] And all the hook is saying, do you rap and let me ride, right?

[1442] That long arm, hold on to the Top of the steering wheel.

[1443] What's up, boys.

[1444] Sup, you know?

[1445] I don't know.

[1446] There's anything like the windows go down in the thing.

[1447] Look at the fucking window.

[1448] Just blasting yourself with music.

[1449] Look at the front wheel.

[1450] It's about as big as a Tick -Tac.

[1451] It's a go -car wheel.

[1452] It's a, like a...

[1453] Child's toy.

[1454] Wheelbarrow.

[1455] Yeah.

[1456] It's so small.

[1457] I mean, look at this weird fucking engine, too.

[1458] But hey man, if you're in a fucking city, do you think it has heat?

[1459] That's a good question, right?

[1460] Is that of heat?

[1461] Oh yeah Does I have anything How weird is this Watch that thing Fill up with air What if someone comes along And just shoots a hole in your air tank And you fucking explode Right It's oxygen Yeah It's just oxygen What's interesting though Is that this is even possible Can you imagine somebody like Porsche Or somebody getting behind This kind of idea of We're not even using fuel We're using air That's fucking nuts Yeah Well There's a problem with that And that how are you generating that air Like, what are you doing to get that compressed air and how much fossil fuels are involved in making that air compressed?

[1462] Yeah, that process might require some shit like that.

[1463] I mean, maybe they can do it with solar.

[1464] Maybe there's a way to power some sort of a generator with solar that pumps air.

[1465] That seems possible.

[1466] If that's true, boy, that would be like the greenish shit of all time.

[1467] But it would also be real.

[1468] Oh, wow, there's a back seat.

[1469] Or the two -seater?

[1470] No, it seems like she climbed.

[1471] in the back, or is this a different one?

[1472] I was a two -seat.

[1473] That was just next to each other.

[1474] Oh, so there's more more than one model.

[1475] Yeah.

[1476] Hmm.

[1477] Do you ever watch that Shark Tank show?

[1478] No. It's actually pretty decent.

[1479] It's like I find a lot of things in there that are, like this company called Bagel Bites in New York.

[1480] I'm now like addicted to them.

[1481] They just send you all these different kinds of bagels and they're just like little bagel balls with cream cheese in the middle of them you put in your oven.

[1482] Does I totally, I support that show.

[1483] I support any.

[1484] anybody who's encouraging people to come up with a good thing.

[1485] Diamond Dallas Page Yoga.

[1486] Fuck yeah, dude.

[1487] Have you tried it?

[1488] Oh, yeah.

[1489] It's really good.

[1490] It's pretty hard.

[1491] He's a bad motherfucker, Dallas Diamond Page.

[1492] Yeah, I interviewed.

[1493] That's how he gave me a copy of him.

[1494] I've been doing it on the road.

[1495] Yeah, it's a good thing doing hotels in the road.

[1496] Dude, yoga.

[1497] It's a hard workout.

[1498] It is hard to do.

[1499] I would have left a yoga three years ago.

[1500] I'll show you a Hicks and Gracie documentary called Choke, where it shows Hickson doing yoga, and you realize, like, oh, I think I have a weird idea about yoga, because I think of all these chicks doing it.

[1501] Yoga's hard, man. And it's really good for your body.

[1502] And it's fantastic for your core.

[1503] See, there's a lot of people that they, and I was guilty of this myself, for sure.

[1504] When you work out all sorts of different ways, but what you don't work out is your body's ability to move as one unit and one unit and your flexibility and your body's like balance and sovereignty.

[1505] Like where your body, you could do whatever you want to do with your body.

[1506] Like stand on one foot and just stick your leg straight up in the air.

[1507] There's a lot of people that can lift a fuck load of weight.

[1508] There's a lot of people that can run upstairs and do laps on this fucking pool and back and forth and back and forth.

[1509] And they're just animals.

[1510] But ask them to stand on one leg, grab their foot and stick their foot straight up in the air and then bounce.

[1511] They literally can't do it.

[1512] They can't balance their body like that.

[1513] It's because they don't have full control of their body.

[1514] And what yoga gives you is this weird control of your body.

[1515] When you get really good at yoga, like Hickson did, you know, like he was one of the reasons why he was one of the best Jiu -Jitsu guys in the world.

[1516] It wasn't just that he knew every move there was.

[1517] It wasn't just that his dad was Ilya Gracie.

[1518] He was one of the greatest jiu -jitsu artists, one of the most important martial artists ever.

[1519] It was also his physical abilities were superior.

[1520] Because he was into all that yoga and all this body weight stuff, like he would do all these crazy exercises, man. He would do all these, like, balance beam things.

[1521] It's pretty dope.

[1522] There's a video of him on the beach in Santa Monica, and he's, He's doing like these pistol squats on a balance beam, holding his foot up and sticks his foot right above his head.

[1523] And he's a jiu -jitsu master.

[1524] Pull the video up.

[1525] That's crazy, yeah.

[1526] It's crazy to see because you think about what you can do with your body and you think about how much effort it would take to be able to do this, what this guy's doing right now?

[1527] I'll tell you, Diamond Dallas Page in his 50s in the video, standing on one leg and holding his leg up in the ears.

[1528] Oh, yeah.

[1529] And the way they pull it out, too, it can go up in the middle and you pull it out, and it's really impressive.

[1530] I mean, I can't get even close to what he's.

[1531] doing well it's also what he's done is fix a lot of people's bodies a lot of people my back a lot i had real annoying lower back problems for like about a year and a half and it's made that much much better i bet it would much that it would strengthen your entire core i'll show you a machine after we get out of here i've got a thing in the back for lower backs it's called a reverse hyper it was made by this guy louis simmons who's this world famous power lifter guru from uh Columbus ohio and uh from west side barbell and west side barbell is his organization he came up with this machine that it works like sort of like your legs are hanging like you lean your upper body over like a table and your legs are dangling from the waist down they're dangling and they hook up to these rollers like a leg curl machine sort of and with a straight leg you lift your leg all the way up and then you let it go down as it's going down it it pulls on your lower back it's like an active decompression so you lift it up it strengthens you lift it down it decompresses lifted up strength.

[1532] If you want to look at it folks, it's called Reverse Hyper.

[1533] You can get it online.

[1534] I bought mine from a company called Rogue Fitness.

[1535] Rob Fitness is all the CrossFit stuff.

[1536] They have all that cool shit.

[1537] But I'm telling you, this reverse hyper has been amazing for my back.

[1538] It's so good.

[1539] Have you ever done?

[1540] I was, my apartment in New York is just too small to store one, but I want to get an inversion table.

[1541] I have one back there.

[1542] I have two back there.

[1543] One that you do from the waist down, you like lean forward on it.

[1544] I'll show you both of them after really.

[1545] Yeah, yeah.

[1546] I'm so curious to hang upside down.

[1547] a bat.

[1548] I do it every day.

[1549] I do it every day.

[1550] Every day.

[1551] I do it every day.

[1552] Every day.

[1553] Every time I work out, every time I lift weights, especially if I lift anything heavy, like if I do squats or anything like that.

[1554] I'm done, you do it?

[1555] I do it right after I'm done.

[1556] And I do it for as long as I can until I feel relaxed.

[1557] I just want my back to open up because everything...

[1558] You feel that happened?

[1559] Do you actually feel it like, like, does it make noise at all?

[1560] You actually feel like...

[1561] No. Well, that that noise.

[1562] See, that's what you're hoping for.

[1563] That's exactly what you're hoping for.

[1564] Like that's the magic cure.

[1565] But it's a...

[1566] But it's a magic cure.

[1567] not that's not really that's not nothing's really happening there that's like nitrogen being released it's not really fixing anything it just sounds cool yeah i love the sound like when i get go to the carpenter and i get cracked i love the sound but the reality is that's not what's fixing anything what's fixing is the adjustment of the you know the spine and what's fixing when you're when you're when you're doing that that conversion table inversion table it's the decompression of your muscles like your muscles relaxing and stretching so you've got to be able to actually concentrate on relaxing your lower back.

[1568] And most people can't.

[1569] Most people, they tense up.

[1570] So even when they lie hanging by their ankles, it's one of the reasons why some doctors erroneously think it's not effective.

[1571] They go, well, you're just going to support it with your back anyway.

[1572] A little.

[1573] But if you understand how your body works, you can relax that area.

[1574] And I feel a great difference between holding it tense and relaxing that there.

[1575] I feel the stress on that lower back area.

[1576] And it's lengthening the muscles.

[1577] It's pulling them.

[1578] It's stretching them in a way that it's very hard to stretch those muscles.

[1579] It's very hard to stretch them that way.

[1580] You know, like your body's malleable, man. The reason why some people are super super flexible, there's a little bit of genetics involved there, but a lot of it is just pushing, just hard work and pushing on the flexibility.

[1581] Just every day making it move a little bit more, move a little bit more.

[1582] Like when you see a dude with crazy holes in their ear, that's like a, you can do that shit to your body.

[1583] You can stretch things out.

[1584] You You can put a plate in your lip.

[1585] You can do that also.

[1586] Can lengthen your neck.

[1587] Yeah, you can lengthen your neck with those wires of those crazy ladies put on.

[1588] But you can also kind of stretch your body out that way, too.

[1589] There's soft tissue manipulation.

[1590] There's only a certain amount you can get away with.

[1591] But if you push it hard enough, long enough, you're really dedicated, you can stretch a lot of shit.

[1592] And one of the problems that people have with their lower backs, especially, is their hamstrings.

[1593] Like, if your hamstrings are really tense, that puts a tremendous amount.

[1594] on a pressure on your lower back and it also limits your mobility it limits the way your body can move around and that also puts pressure on your lower back do you stretch it all with your hamstrings i do yeah i've been i've taken a lot more to stretching i i i did crossfit for like two years and i lost a bunch of weight doing it which it was great in that regard but uh the damage on like speed power lifting is not a good idea you fucked up your back that's what i think did it yeah i mean just like you know you would be one of men swinging kettlebells uh some of I was just like, and not even that, I don't even think kettlebells were much of the things.

[1595] For some reason, I was kind of able to focus, like, my stance on kettlebells, because it was never that heavy.

[1596] But things were, you know, they want you to do, like, you know, like cleans or, like, snatch.

[1597] And then they show you the form for 20 minutes, and then they go, now as fast as you can for eight minutes, you know, and the best guy's done this.

[1598] And you don't want to be a loser like that guy.

[1599] So, you know, be as good as this, you know, try to do it fast.

[1600] And how many people drop those ways in their head?

[1601] It's just sacrificed.

[1602] How many people do you see drop weights in their head?

[1603] Actually, all the injuries I saw are people missing box jumps.

[1604] That's when people got hurt with the most of their shins get busted up on those wooden boards.

[1605] Well, you know, that's probably the easiest to fix.

[1606] That's just a cut and a bruise.

[1607] The real hard stuff to fix is the back stuff.

[1608] You know, when you start doing power lifting in like large repetition movements, you know, trying to do 50 clean and presses.

[1609] Yeah, you lose, you know, the most important thing with power lifting, the most, most important thing is proper for them it's the most important thing by far and you should never abandon that ever and that's that's like one of the things that people criticize crossfit for steve maxwell who's a good friend of mine who's a fantastic trainer probably one the most knowledgeable people i've ever met when it comes to like fitness training it's like it's always on top of like the latest modalities and different techniques and stuff like that he hates it he thinks that you should exercise i can see that i i i give it to do because like with Right now I diet much harder And I do more yoga than I would say I do like you know heavy weight training I try to do more stuff like that you know I mean like cardio and stuff I just like Hickson yeah that's insane watch the video though it's insane watch them watch them work on on the beach because it's fucking ridiculous You say there's pistol squats this is all different things he's doing but you got to see the The gymnastics in Santa Monica that's a totally different video just like Channing Tatum and Foxcatcher It's a little gay he this is um this is from choke this is a different one it's a different footage um it's it's him on the balance bar in santa monica beach he's doing that kind of shit but he's doing it while he's walking on a balance bar it's nuts and also those those kind of like applied like muscle skills are that's why that like american ninja warrior that's such a cool show what or the original well you don't think that's like you don't think any of that's neat like that stuff you went from hicks and gracy the american ninja warrior's show such a cool show no not that's By I'm saying, just the idea that you could, like...

[1610] Like, the concept of hanging off the side of a building terrifies me, because there's no chance I'll pull myself up.

[1611] Right.

[1612] If I catch a ledge by my fingertips, and the fact those guys can, you know, ascend on their fingertips is fucking bonkers.

[1613] Those free climbers are fucking spooky.

[1614] What those guys are doing, like that dude we had on, Alex Honnold, the guy who goes up the side of mountains, like, backwards.

[1615] That guy's insane.

[1616] Have you seen the...

[1617] Have you ever done parkour?

[1618] Park horror?

[1619] It's a good way to break your neck.

[1620] Did you ever see the rushing guys who go on the cranes and just do like We've played every one of those.

[1621] It makes my legs quiver watching the videos.

[1622] Yeah, my feet go numb.

[1623] I couldn't even imagine trying to do that.

[1624] Your whole body starts shaking, just watching them.

[1625] I saw this video the other day of this guy that goes out on this ledge of this hotel like super high up and he just starts jumping from one patio, like had that like this little part on it just from one to another.

[1626] You're talking about that new cell phone video?

[1627] Is that it?

[1628] Yeah, it's for the Samsung Galaxy.

[1629] Is it a Galaxy Note or Galaxy S6?

[1630] Is it Neil Brennan doing the jumps?

[1631] Neil Brennan's a fucking parkour master.

[1632] Yeah, the guy, like, he straps the video camera, he straps the camera on him and then turns the video on and then jumps from, like, building to building.

[1633] But it might be bullshit.

[1634] It might be CGI.

[1635] I'm not exactly sure, because he's doing some fucking insane jumps.

[1636] I'm not exactly sure if he's really doing those jumps.

[1637] Parkour fuckups are fantastic.

[1638] Oh, no. No, no, that's not...

[1639] You haven't seen this?

[1640] Look at this.

[1641] No, I've seen this, yeah.

[1642] Look at this.

[1643] This is an edge camera video.

[1644] Look at this fucking eye, man. I mean, it seems real.

[1645] This is the one I'm talking about right here.

[1646] Look at this.

[1647] Takes a photo of their food.

[1648] You guys jumping off of buildings and shit and taking photos of food.

[1649] But would you jump...

[1650] You could definitely jump, you know, four feet.

[1651] If it were the run, you could definitely jump four feet, without a doubt.

[1652] You know you can do that.

[1653] Jump from four feet or four feet in the air.

[1654] You could jump...

[1655] a distance of four feet, you know, for a fact, you absolutely do that.

[1656] Right.

[1657] I wouldn't jump four feet from building the building.

[1658] I mean, I just got, I mean, there's definitely an amount of money, I guess, that I would do that for, I suppose.

[1659] But, I mean, like, I would still be, I'd still be emotionally panicked, like, going to do it.

[1660] Even if I know, even though I know I can jump, you know, significantly further, I'm sure.

[1661] Like, I'm thinking of four feet.

[1662] How many, how many feet wide do you think this table is?

[1663] It's three?

[1664] What do you think this is?

[1665] No, more, right?

[1666] No, that's more than three, yeah.

[1667] What is this?

[1668] Four feet wide?

[1669] Yeah, see, I could definitely jump over that.

[1670] With a run and everything like that, of course.

[1671] Even just standing there, I could definitely jump over that.

[1672] But if below was like a hundred stories.

[1673] Yeah, that's what I mean.

[1674] My hands are sweating, dude.

[1675] I just said that and my hands started sweating.

[1676] Well, because I'd have to assume.

[1677] Feel sweat?

[1678] That's real.

[1679] I'd have to assume.

[1680] What is that, Brian?

[1681] This video will make you faint.

[1682] And I give it to Jamie.

[1683] No, but this is the one I'm talking.

[1684] Look how high that is, and he just starts jumping from one corner to one corner.

[1685] And at the end, he has to stop.

[1686] Do you have that?

[1687] But you could, you know, have you ever in your, I guess probably if you go on really hard, but have you fallen off of a chin -up bar ever?

[1688] No. But you still would not want to, like, take that.

[1689] So you're confident in your pull -ups, and you wouldn't want to do it over those cranes.

[1690] Well, if you fell, you would just land on your feet.

[1691] Sure.

[1692] Here it is.

[1693] Check this out.

[1694] Oh, my God.

[1695] No, he's not doing this.

[1696] Is there sound to this?

[1697] What is he doing?

[1698] Oh my Watch this Oh watch this Wow This is fucked up Oh my god Oh my god He has to stop at the end Oh Oh my god Dude look They're dripping My hands are dripping I should feel my hands They're fucking soaking wet right now Yeah it's real anxiety And it's just for a guy You don't know Or anything just the fact that That guy's out of his mind The fuck is he doing Look how far up it is.

[1699] How much would someone have to pay you by and to do this?

[1700] Never, never, nope.

[1701] I would faint.

[1702] Yeah, this, there's no amount of money for.

[1703] No. I would suck dicks before doing it.

[1704] I don't think I have that much faith in my coordination.

[1705] Would you suck dicks before doing that?

[1706] Probably, yes.

[1707] How many dicks?

[1708] As many as they want, you know.

[1709] What happened?

[1710] Yeah, I'm not doing that, because you can't die sucking the dick.

[1711] You'd have to, you would know halfway through the dick.

[1712] This dick is spoiled.

[1713] Right.

[1714] The dick's going bad.

[1715] Sir, I can't suck this dick.

[1716] Do you have an expiration date on this dick?

[1717] Because I am not going to get a trichinosis from your dick, sir.

[1718] You got a gun, there is nuts for a stamp, date stamp.

[1719] Tuck it in fucking guardia from your dick.

[1720] I'm not dying.

[1721] I wonder if transgenderes that have fake pussies, like if they feel like they can't get a period, that they're like, oh, only if I could get a period.

[1722] Oh, yeah, for sure.

[1723] There'll always be something else.

[1724] That's what I'm saying.

[1725] I don't think they're a super thrilled with it.

[1726] And also, there's that weird thing.

[1727] It's because it does end up being made where the dick was.

[1728] So it's also an oddly placed vagina usually also.

[1729] It's kind of like high up.

[1730] Right.

[1731] It's where the dick hole.

[1732] I've seen one in real life.

[1733] Do you think they put just like ketchup packets in there and they squeeze just to make it feel like, you know, like.

[1734] I think they probably pretend.

[1735] Here's Hickson on the balance.

[1736] As crazy as that sounds.

[1737] That's crazy that sounds, but they do that.

[1738] But I mean, like they like, you know, girls who want to become men wear a fucking fake dick all day.

[1739] Yeah.

[1740] Look at this.

[1741] There's a difference.

[1742] Yeah, that is true.

[1743] There's a lot of girls who do do that.

[1744] Maybe put it.

[1745] Some may want to put.

[1746] Exploding.

[1747] blood packs in the vagina.

[1748] Those things you think you'd chew on to be a vampire when you were a kid?

[1749] Look at this fucking balance this guy has.

[1750] He just sat down on it.

[1751] He's putting his foot down and then watch.

[1752] He's going to stand up from here eye.

[1753] I think he's like working for it though, too.

[1754] He's not...

[1755] But watch this.

[1756] But he's because he's standing up on one leg from his ass down.

[1757] That's also like a rounded pole, it looks like, you know?

[1758] No, that's flat on top.

[1759] But your balls, though.

[1760] No, watch how he does this, though.

[1761] This is insane.

[1762] That's crazy.

[1763] He stands up, and then once he gets all the way to the top, then he does a split.

[1764] He grabs his foot.

[1765] It's crazy.

[1766] His fucking balance is amazing.

[1767] And that was why one of the reasons why he was so good.

[1768] Like he had a combination of everything.

[1769] Look at that.

[1770] Get the fuck out of here, man. That dude's doing a split.

[1771] Look at this shit.

[1772] Standing on a balance beam.

[1773] That's like the ultimate control of your body right there.

[1774] If you can do that, you could basically do anything.

[1775] He's the greatest jiu -suitzoo fighter of all time, too.

[1776] Like, widely recognized by almost everybody ever.

[1777] as being the greatest.

[1778] Hicks and Gracie?

[1779] Yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence that it's also he can do ridiculous things with his body that, like, like, I bet LeBron James can't do that.

[1780] I bet Kobe Bryant can't do that.

[1781] You know, I bet what he can do, that's a very unusual.

[1782] But I wouldn't bet, GSP could probably do that, I think.

[1783] Things similar to.

[1784] Close.

[1785] Yeah, George is a pretty amazing athlete.

[1786] He can do some pretty crazy shit.

[1787] He can do some pretty crazy shit.

[1788] And, you know, in between him and he goes up and, I mean, that's like.

[1789] Yeah.

[1790] Well, he also, he's very flexible, too.

[1791] That's a big, flexibility move.

[1792] You have to be really flexible just to be able to hold your leg up there like that.

[1793] You know, George is pretty flexible.

[1794] Did you see the Pachiao Mayweather fight?

[1795] Did you watch that?

[1796] Yeah.

[1797] What did you think?

[1798] I, um, you talked about, it's just boring.

[1799] I thought you, we talked about it.

[1800] Yeah, you said you liked it, yeah.

[1801] But I think that, uh, most people were disappointed, right?

[1802] I, I, I just was bored.

[1803] I just called, I called it very easily from the beginning.

[1804] I never, I can't believe I asked you if you, you're, we already talked about it.

[1805] I know.

[1806] It seems like that UFC is MMA has really spoiled boxing for me because I just I mean it's not like Mike Tyson days it wasn't exciting like that where you know it was but it's not going to be yeah right but that was the best of their best that's the best boxers right now and if that's your best why are we watching 100 bucks that's twice as much as UFC I don't think the UFC 60 now or something like that well still close death yeah it's a million fights yeah yeah exactly you get tons of fights over the course of night you get free fights but don't you think like everybody says, fuck this, I'll never watch boxing again.

[1807] I think that's bullshit.

[1808] I think they will.

[1809] I still watch it, but I'm not going to pay $100 ever.

[1810] But who's going to be a real stuff?

[1811] Who's going to tear through again, like a Tyson?

[1812] That's what you need.

[1813] You need somebody with that kind of vicious, like, knockouts.

[1814] You need to bring excitement back to it.

[1815] One thing, there was excitement around this fight, but I never fully understood why.

[1816] I really was like, I think I called that from the second they announced the fight.

[1817] I go, Mayweather wins by the decision.

[1818] What about Connell Alvarez?

[1819] I'm not familiar with him.

[1820] He's a bad motherfucker.

[1821] He's fighting next week.

[1822] He's fighting this upcoming Saturday.

[1823] They're going to show the rematch of the Floyd -Mayweather fight on HBO, and then he's going to fight.

[1824] Saturday or Friday?

[1825] I'd rather watch UFC from Australia, right?

[1826] Blasgood boxing match I watched.

[1827] Was that Chris Algeri beating the Russian?

[1828] Provodnikov?

[1829] Yeah.

[1830] That was a fun fight to watch.

[1831] Did you see Lucas Matissei versus Pradnikov?

[1832] No. Provodnikov and Matissee go to a war for 12 rounds.

[1833] It's fucking crazy.

[1834] I mean, it is a crazy fight.

[1835] That's like the kind of fight that everybody wanted from Pachial and Mayweather.

[1836] Just show a couple, just a few minutes.

[1837] Show highlights of the Matissei Pravodnikov fight.

[1838] This fight was like some crazy rock 'em -sockom robots, Rocky Five.

[1839] Like, it was a movie fight.

[1840] In all of UFC and boxing or MMA and boxing for me, I'd say one of my top five fights of all time is boxing.

[1841] Diego Corrales versus what was his name It was one of those three names I believe I know you're talking about Jonathan Taylor Thomas He was right after home group man He got pissed with the world JTT was getting wobbly towards the seventh I know what you're talking about I mean they fought in a phone booth They said you know for It was insane And it was like back and forth knockouts Kind of like that Pat Barry Chick -Cic Congo thing Yeah, this is the, this is these two guys fighting.

[1842] I mean, this is Pravondikoff and Matisse.

[1843] It was a crazy fight.

[1844] They smashed heads right there.

[1845] But this, like, this was like one of, if you want to watch, like, a blood and guts fight, like everybody wanted the Mayweather fight to be, you got to watch this fight, because it was fucking incredible.

[1846] Oh, Jesus.

[1847] I mean, these guys just back and forth, beat the fuck out of each other.

[1848] Provodnikov takes a punch better than any living human that's ever walked the face of this fucking planet.

[1849] When he's done, he looks like an Asian, like, dry cleaner lady.

[1850] I mean, he really does He's all stretched down his face is bizarrely He looks like they pulled him out of Like a woolly mammoth tusk In the middle of the fucking Himalayas or some shit He's such a stud though So it's like a fucking animal as a fighter And he uh they did a It took photos of his drug test after the fight And his urine was black I mean black From blood like Coke Like Coca Cola That's what his piss looked like From this fight because this fight was so crazy.

[1851] I mean, it was just like one of the nuttyest fights I've ever seen in my life.

[1852] And that was the kind of fight that Jose Luis Castillo, right?

[1853] Wasn't that?

[1854] Who it was?

[1855] Yeah.

[1856] Diego Corrales.

[1857] Yeah.

[1858] Jose Luis Castillo?

[1859] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1860] That's it.

[1861] And they went back and forth, just back and forth, nailing each other.

[1862] It was so good.

[1863] God damn.

[1864] Yeah, he had some great fucking fights.

[1865] And then Diego Corrales died and not crazy long after that.

[1866] He died in a motorcycle accident.

[1867] Yeah.

[1868] Yeah, he was a wild dude.

[1869] You know, those wild dudes just fucking but then they'll make the movie of his life and he'll be like, I was just starting my charity work.

[1870] You know, I'm done.

[1871] I'm done with this crazy fight game.

[1872] I'm going to preserve my family.

[1873] Stop cheating on my lady.

[1874] What I'm going to do right now is I'm going to help the little kids coming up.

[1875] And then it'll be some kid drinking, laughing, and he turns a corner and smashes into him.

[1876] And there's a lot of people that complain about the end of, you know, that guy's being, dragged over the coals now he's dead now but the Chris the American sniper guy Chris Kyle but like the same thing it was like I'm gonna go help this wacky guy out she's like you shouldn't do it he goes hey everyone deserves help oh boy he never came home that day I bet he was just like you know probably all he was like fuck you bitch fucking cunt well now I have to leave you fucking cunt that's why I asked for breakfast to be done an hour ago when I got in the shower you twat I'll be back at seven you fucking dumb more change your attitude before I get back dead oh god you never know man you're watching a movie about someone's life they most of the shit they're saying they just did not say do you try to not like uh leave town or hang up on it i i never i always say with like i think any girlfriend i've ever had or if it's like let's not let me not leave town getting on a plane while we're in a fight i've thrown that all away i will absolutely get on a plane and then while i'm on the plane i'm like if this plane goes down it's gonna fucking ruin the rest of her life fuck her That's so crazy So this Baltimore thing What was the What did they do to this guy?

[1877] Because there's The catalyst you mean?

[1878] Like the what was the...

[1879] He died in a police van, right?

[1880] They injured his They hurt his back back, right?

[1881] Like his neck, like a spinal cord failure, right?

[1882] Yeah.

[1883] But I had read from a very non -credible source that he was already injured It's not true It's not true It's not true So he died from an injury He sustained in So all the stuff that everybody had said About it being all the fake The rumors Those motherfuckers with their fake stories They're so dangerous He had a broken heart The best part of that was hearing other like guys That were in the van Too like the other like criminals Or you know Alleged criminals that were in the van with them Like giving their account of it was always great Because he goes Why come him hurt himself There's a weird one.

[1884] NBC News.

[1885] Of course the cops did.

[1886] He can't hurts himself like that.

[1887] Yeah, that's not the guy you want to do.

[1888] Himself.

[1889] NBCNews .com says disputed report, and then Freddie Gray hurt himself in police van, question mark.

[1890] That is not journalism.

[1891] You shouldn't be able to do that.

[1892] You shouldn't be able to say, disputed report, and then the title, Freddie Gray heard himself in police van, question mark.

[1893] You're just getting off the hook.

[1894] You haven't done the fucking work.

[1895] You're trying to get the story out.

[1896] You're trying to get clicks before you've done the work.

[1897] You don't know if that's a story, you fuck.

[1898] You can't do that.

[1899] Like, that's sneaky shit for NBCNews .com.

[1900] That's really sneaky shit, because that's not a story.

[1901] You know what that is?

[1902] Disputed report on a news site?

[1903] How about you do some fucking journalism?

[1904] How about you follow up?

[1905] Making an actual report?

[1906] Yeah.

[1907] What you're doing is if you say something like that, People like me just read the headline and start repeating it.

[1908] I heard he heard himself in the van.

[1909] Oh, of course.

[1910] I already tried to hurt himself in the van.

[1911] The fucking guy heard himself in the van, okay?

[1912] And they burn him down the dry cleaners.

[1913] The best example of how easy that shit goes is a...

[1914] Wasn't there was a comic at one point that was, like, accused of something?

[1915] And everyone just says, like, he did it.

[1916] Who?

[1917] I can't remember...

[1918] Bill Cosby?

[1919] Yeah, no. No, it was a comic...

[1920] Who lives out here, I think?

[1921] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1922] But, uh, yeah.

[1923] You know, terrible examples?

[1924] Yeah, let's keep moving.

[1925] Okay, let's do another one.

[1926] What, how?

[1927] Did you hear about this fucking kid in L .A.?

[1928] Did you hear about the kid in L .A.?

[1929] Did you hear about the kid in L .A.?

[1930] That got shot by the cops?

[1931] A 13 -year -old kid or was a 19 -year -old kid that got shot.

[1932] He was crying for his mom.

[1933] Unarmed.

[1934] Unarmed.

[1935] The cops thought, they thought he had a gun, shot him through a fucking screen window.

[1936] Like, they saw him, you know, he's standing there.

[1937] He's got to go.

[1938] bang they just shoot him this wasn't doing anything wasn't a criminal at all total accidental death from some incompetent person that happened to be a police officer and now this you know well idiots can become police officers but my point was that Duke lacrosse things a good example because people still say use that as an example of like a rapey situation like tell you the Duke lacrosse team didn't happen yeah didn't happen and they're always kind of like they people still say that well people are terrified of fraternities actually doing something like that so the Duke lacrosse case is just one of those but like the UVA the University of Virginia thing that Rolling Stone printed this huge article about never happened they just did shit journalism they failed at every level when it comes to journal and this is a goddamn Rolling Stone but because it's such a sensitive subject and people are really sensitive about calling out someone that may have actually been a victim like being wrong and you know and saying you were in a victim and it turns out they were people are so terrified of that that they actually skirt away from the real journalism you know and that's what's happened because yeah exactly you don't want to get like you don't want to get in trouble because if they're right yeah yeah but you know that thing that um the duke lacrosse case that was one of nancy grace's pets those boys rape that girl they took that girl did terrible things I mean she never apologized to that I mean she was a flat out accusing them with that on television you know you can that's it's kind of the same thing it's not journalism the story's not done you don't know unless you were there you gotta fucking get all your ducks in a row and even then man people lie there's a lot of weird shit going on whenever there's a story and then there's two different sides of that story boy this gets tricky trying to figure out who's telling the truth and who's not telling the truth and what is what like fuck man it's like all the only witness is the other the groups that were there you know yeah there's those those behind closed doors accusations are fucking that's so man Never want to be on those jories.

[1939] Yeah, no shit.

[1940] And it's also, it's weird the difference in, like, the stories that catch.

[1941] You know, there's stories that catch fire.

[1942] And then everybody wants to walk in the street and protest.

[1943] Like, this kid in L .A., this is not catching fire.

[1944] For whatever reason, you're barely hearing about this.

[1945] Baltimore's burning down.

[1946] Yeah, Baltimore is burning down, and the guy who was in police custody is an admitted criminal, right?

[1947] Like, everybody's kind of admitting that this guy has done crimes.

[1948] before.

[1949] And this is just simply a police brutality issue.

[1950] But this kid who got shot in L .A. isn't even a criminal.

[1951] He's just a kid.

[1952] It was just a mistake.

[1953] Like, this is, that's terrifying to me. They're just willing to shoot that 12 -year -old boy in Cleveland.

[1954] The guy gets out of the car, a cop who was taken off of a different police squad because he was dangerous.

[1955] Because they didn't, they just like, they were like, you got to get the fuck out of here.

[1956] They kicked him off.

[1957] And another department hires this fucking guy.

[1958] He gets out.

[1959] out of a car in two seconds he's shooting at a 12 year old with a gun and not saying that being a cop isn't a fucking insanely difficult job and not saying that i i've said many times i don't think anybody can do it right i think it's just way too much stress and way too much pressure but my point is how weird is it that some stories catch and some stories don't like some stories they just they just slip right by you hear about the guy getting shot by the cops and there's no protests and everything it just becomes another story it just becomes another statistic and then Freddie Gray, boom, or that kid in Ferguson, boom, Michael Brown, boom, it's just like catches.

[1960] And then the fucking protest, it gets crazy and everybody just goes nuts over it.

[1961] I always say Cleveland's like that kind of town, but it is.

[1962] Well, how about the South Carolina one?

[1963] Where the guy got shot, they didn't burn, they didn't riot.

[1964] That guy got shot in the back, man. That guy got shot in the back and there's a fucking video of it.

[1965] But there's no crazy riots like there are in Baltimore.

[1966] It's just, it's mob mentality, man. If you can get the mob to start, like, calming each other down, like, it spreads that way.

[1967] Do you know what I mean?

[1968] Like, let's take this to the street's peaceful...

[1969] But if, like, if the controlling interest of people start going out there and just, like, kicking in cop car windows, that's the way it's going to go.

[1970] I found that, like, I didn't think there's anything good about that.

[1971] I thought that was terrifying.

[1972] Watching people, like...

[1973] And again, if this was so much wrapped around, like, we're riding, because we're pissed off, we're not going to take it anymore.

[1974] like high five you see people laughing eating candy in the background while they're stomping on fucking cop cars and shit you know what it's like it's such like it really is terrifying it's a third world for third world I think the cops leave those cars there I really do I think they leave those cars there as like something to take their anger out on leave them a car no but you know what's I mean like Blanca and Street Fighter you give them a cop car to destroy and they have those cars are insured it's a bonus level and they They, it gives them something to destroy.

[1975] And I really think that.

[1976] I really think that that's probably a strategy in a lot of ways.

[1977] Take a cop car, leave it in an area where you know that there's going to be some protests.

[1978] And just let them fuck it up, you know?

[1979] Baltimore mayor gave those who wished to destroy space to do that.

[1980] She got in trouble for saying that, but.

[1981] Okay.

[1982] But what she said, which she was criticized because they thought that she was actually giving the green light to go ahead and riot.

[1983] By a mayor not trying to calm people down, but instead by saying something like that The the interpretation was that what she did was she almost gave them like a license to go out and smash shit She's a black lady.

[1984] Yeah, she's cute.

[1985] We gave those who Wished to destroy space to do that as well.

[1986] Hmm She's black, right?

[1987] Yes Why do you keep having to bring that up man?

[1988] Because she has to because dude.

[1989] I don't see color.

[1990] I feel fit because I feel bad.

[1991] She has to answer like for so many things also.

[1992] Do you know I mean?

[1993] back let me read that again yeah no i hear it look at listen this quote though because while trying to make sure that we are protected from the cars and other things that were going on we gave those who wish to destroy space to do that as well and we worked very hard to keep that balance and to put ourselves in the best position to de -escalate that sounds to me that she's very pragmatic see no when i read it in context what that sounds to me like she's a pragmatic woman in which she did was she made a calculation and decided that these there's guys are going to destroy things and maybe that was admitting that they left some cop cars there too smart move right take a loss for the greater good maybe you know but there's the mean the greater good i mean they burnt a lot of shit they smashed a lot of things a lot of cops got injured fuck being a cop man it's too hard this day in age fuck that we need them though that's what's crazy you know i'm really and i said it's one of things like who's going to do it i mean it's a certain certain personality that's going to go do it.

[1994] Yeah.

[1995] And, you know, I mean, I guess there's multiple personalities that can do it.

[1996] But a lot of times it ends up being the same guy, you know?

[1997] It's, it can, you know, and obviously the abusive people are when it becomes a problem, but the really calm people, they're super valuable, super valuable asset to the community.

[1998] If you have a really good calm cop who actually can deal with shit, good luck finding one of those.

[1999] Good luck being that guy, too.

[2000] It's a hard road.

[2001] And you're not going to get nearly the respect that you feel like you deserve for putting your fucking life on the line on a daily basis breaking up family disputes and stopping crime and break -ins and fucking carjackings and all kinds of crazy shit you have to deal with everybody's lying to you I mean some of the worst things though is when a cop really does buddy up to you and starts like opening up his weird moral like world like where his morals are to you it's it always blows my mind I've had him say things like yeah it sucks these fucking homeless around here you know we used to be able to just beat their ass but now it's like They're watching us everywhere.

[2002] And you're like, really?

[2003] I've heard him say, one guy was bragging to me that he's never had, I was smoking weed in his presence.

[2004] And he was like, yeah, I wish I could smoke again, man. But, you know, they just test us all the time.

[2005] He goes, but you could check my arrest records, man. I've never had a, never arrested anyone for weed, never arrested anyone for a DUI.

[2006] And I was like, what?

[2007] I'm like, no, man. That's not the same.

[2008] Every DUI.

[2009] Yeah, exactly.

[2010] You're trying to make some correlation to me that I, I saw a guy drunk on the road the other night, pretty sure drunk, thinking to whether or not I should call him in.

[2011] So I got beside him in the lane, backed up and stayed behind him and watched him weave in and out of the lane.

[2012] I couldn't tell if he was drunk or he's tired because he would keep it up for a while and then he would drift and then he'd come back in and keep it up and then he was good.

[2013] It was hard to tell, but it was disturbing as fuck.

[2014] It's like all these cars are flying around going 70 miles an hour and this one guy is not fully in control.

[2015] I've had to call a few times just because every time I come home, it's that time.

[2016] You know the bars are closing and so once in a while you just have to do it because you see how bad it is like all right That's ridiculous.

[2017] I called in once called in once coming down the one -on -one some fucking guy was just Taking two three lanes at a time just go straight across and then back on Straight for a little bit a little bit of wiggle ooh drift to the right back on Straight straight straight straight way I mean he was fucked up and I knew that that guy was gonna crash and I called the cops I don't know what happened never saw it I did watch a guy I was going to 70 miles an hour and this guy fucking flew by me on the highway the other day just and I was like what the fuck I mean dude it was a crowded highway and dude had to be going a buck 20 easy easy buck 20 and then right behind him the fucking cops were racing him the entire time this asshole thought he was like being Joe slick and driving fast with a car behind him and that car was a cop car so they hit the lights and they're right behind them Wow.

[2018] Oh my God, he was driving so fast because I was watching this.

[2019] I was like, this is not like an empty road on the way to Vegas.

[2020] There's no one in front of you and you're fucking listening to Radar Love.

[2021] This is the 101 in Hollywood, you know, at 7 .30 at night, very crowded road.

[2022] And this guy was flying.

[2023] It's so, the science is in on that shit.

[2024] Do you know what I mean?

[2025] Like those things, like they end bad a lot.

[2026] Yeah, they do.

[2027] Trying to weave cars.

[2028] Car chases are fucking terrifying for cops, too.

[2029] Imagine if you're a cop and you plowing to someone and kill them when you're trying to get some bad guy.

[2030] I bet it happens.

[2031] Of course it happens.

[2032] You're fucking going 150 miles an hour, whatever the hell you're going, going around corners, and how good exactly is they're driving, you know?

[2033] Did you over see those videos of cops getting hit by cars while they're, like, checking IDs and stuff?

[2034] Oh, yeah.

[2035] That's awful.

[2036] I mean, where they stand for that is ridiculous, almost.

[2037] Most of them don't do that anymore.

[2038] They stand on the other side.

[2039] Yeah, they go on the other side.

[2040] But there's a danger issue.

[2041] You know, like when you're approaching cars, you've got to see someone's hands.

[2042] You've got to make sure that they don't have any weapons on them.

[2043] Every cop has to approach every car.

[2044] Like, this is the guy that might keep you from seeing your family again.

[2045] That's just a crazy job, man. It's a crazy way to make a living.

[2046] It is a shame because those videos, that's why I said I've actually never had cops be very helpful to me or nice to me ever.

[2047] it's very very rare yeah it's very weird as a white look at you you look like a monster i mean yeah i guess you guys got a fucking torture basement is in his house yeah what's uh what's under that carpet did jay nothing it's just carpet it's just 14 filipino boys were pulled from a trunk in this man's basement see it look like that dude from pop fiction the gimp bring out the gimp guys bring out the gimp yeah you're one of the guys right uh a grown man with long hair is like hmm you don't follow the rules do you What else do you not follow the rules on, sir?

[2048] It's usually in a bun, which says I do play by the rules.

[2049] A bun?

[2050] Put it in a bun.

[2051] Well, that's the new rule.

[2052] Did you get a man thing, the top, like a pony?

[2053] Yeah.

[2054] And then I get on top of the girl pyramid.

[2055] If you heard the newest trend for women is actually putting it an old lady hair bun and actually dyeing your hair gray.

[2056] Like, people are dying their hair gray.

[2057] I met a girl with dying hair.

[2058] I'm not surprised.

[2059] That's so stupid.

[2060] Nose rings.

[2061] It looked weird.

[2062] And it's high pants.

[2063] There's mom jeans shorts.

[2064] Yeah, you know, there's always going to be something.

[2065] People are always exhausted with the options that are available.

[2066] And they're just like, look, I just need something to do?

[2067] I'm going gray.

[2068] Fuck it.

[2069] I'm going, I'm going to fucking tattoo my face.

[2070] How about those guys on a, was that lockup raw or something where they tattooed their eyes?

[2071] Oh, yeah, I've seen that.

[2072] They tattooed the whites of the eyes.

[2073] Yeah, women are choosing to dye their hair gray for the granny hair.

[2074] Well, if you're fucking hot as shit.

[2075] Like those girls, yeah, you can do that.

[2076] It's silver.

[2077] It's not even gray.

[2078] Who's going to get mad?

[2079] Look how hot those girls are That's ridiculous They're so hot Who gives the fuck if they have gray hair You just shave your head You know like I always say Like when someone say Do you think a girl's attractive?

[2080] There's a lot of girls that are undeniably attractive But do they pass the shaved head No shirt test And if a girl passes the shaved head No shirt test That's a ridiculously hot girl Right All these girls in this Montage Pass the shaved head No shirt test I can't say I'm surprised Can't see.

[2081] I'm surprised that Granny hair is in.

[2082] They're hot, they're hot.

[2083] Who does the fuck?

[2084] They have black eyelashes.

[2085] That's almost my point.

[2086] It's not even granny hair if they're that hot.

[2087] It doesn't take on that look.

[2088] Those girls, it's like they want to like slow it down a little.

[2089] They're too hot.

[2090] You know?

[2091] Right?

[2092] Trying to put some roadblocks in the way?

[2093] Yeah, they're like, it's just too many dudes are hitting on me. I'm going to take it down a notch.

[2094] I'm going to rip a tooth out.

[2095] I'm tired of sucking all this dick.

[2096] Yeah, it's just enough already.

[2097] I've got too many Dick's coming my way.

[2098] Joe, did you see that episode of Workaholics that they talk about?

[2099] That was so fucking good.

[2100] I've never watched this show before.

[2101] It was hilarious.

[2102] Yeah, I didn't watch it.

[2103] I saw some of the clips online, but I didn't watch it.

[2104] How much of the show was dedicated to making fun of...

[2105] It was a lot about what happens is they eat peyote.

[2106] Right.

[2107] And throughout the thing, they're quoting you.

[2108] And then there was some, like, silly quotes where they're like, no, Joe Rogan says, we got a trip on acid and do jiu -jitsu.

[2109] I laughed my ass on it's called a peyote it forward it's episode 5 episode 12 I've watched it four times that's hilarious it's a funny show man I just haven't had a chance to watch I barely can keep up with Game of Thrones I don't have time to do anything man I'm just too fucking busy these days we set Rogan all the time we need a Joe Rogan in it once in a while that's hilarious that's hilarious that's an honor that's an honor that's really cool When I saw it online, I was like, wow, this is crazy.

[2110] It's funny when you go either way when you're referenced in a show.

[2111] Like, I was talking to Artie Lang like two weeks ago or something.

[2112] And he told me that how he thought it was an honor.

[2113] He got referenced on Cleveland show one time.

[2114] But the reference was, I guess the mom was buying food one day at time.

[2115] He's like, nobody buys food one day at time, except for Artie Lang.

[2116] I'm like, oh, it's kind of a weird way to have to.

[2117] It's a punch line.

[2118] Kind of calling you shitty.

[2119] yeah well it's kind of saying you eat a lot you fuck yeah um fuck what was i gonna say yeah that show's a good show it's a funny fucking show it's really well written it was it was it was surprising because i i never had watched it before now that in a broad city have you ever watched that it's like no it's like there's too many good things man i haven't seen amy schumer show either i keep hearing really good things about amy schumer show have you seen it i've watched it you know the cool thing about broad city it's kind of like sex in the city but our generation and they just smoke we and like do gross shit but it's how is that like sex in the city at all it's because it's the city is a girl show it's about two girls and it's it's a you know sex the pig city for pigs Hannibal Barris he plays one of the like a guy in it that's like a dentist and it's I highly recommend it damn there's so many good shows now man this is a great Silicon Valley's fucking great I missed a bunch of shows and you can't go back suit there's too many now there's new ones coming Yeah, if you, if you're behind, if you like never watched all the Breaking Bads, you can't just start with better call Saul You're fucked.

[2120] Yeah, I didn't watch breaking bad So yeah, it's good I just don't know I just don't know I watched the first season And it was really good, but I just got busy it's just a matter just totally a matter being busy I made it through Dexter and that got really disappointing at the end I gave up on Dexter I finished it and it's disappointing super disappointing we got when I finished I've talked about this a hundred times when John Lithgow killed that chick in the bathtub gave her a shitty rear naked choke They put her in like a lame rear naked choke I'm like bitch you are not choking anybody with that Fuck this show And I just I literally I got rid of it right there You checked out for legitimacy of mixed martial arts moves You can't just fake it's like if you were doing a documentary And you're playing a fake guitar And you didn't really know what you were doing I could tell you didn't know what you were doing I'd go fuck this documentary You know that's how I feel about John Lithgow And a shitty rear naked choke Plus when you choke in somebody They fight back like they're trying to stay alive They're freaking the fuck out They don't just stay in place so you could do it They fight they kick their legs They fucking thrash around They look like Elizabeth Berthley In that coaxie in the pool Which was trying to bang Kyle McLaughlin Remember?

[2121] She's flopping around That's what it would look like if someone's If you were trying to choke somebody They would start kicking They realize their life is in danger They don't just Oh my God John Lithgow The Third Rock and the Sunday You'll kill me I love you and Harry the Andersons Yeah, fuck out of here He's not a killer Stop Too much You know I don't want to type cast the man but the fuck out of here you didn't like him in that at all that show no oh wow I really did like him in that he was my favorite season couldn't get past the shitty jihitsu technique I can't believe that I wish they would redo it like great or the Star Wars you know who shot first or something just to fix that scene for you nope nope no I mean was he good other than that the show was already no the show got shitty right from there pretty much what happened it was so good at one point in time but something happened it just got really off the real stupid.

[2122] You know what?

[2123] Every year they kept exposing like an end of series secret and then when they got another season they'd have to incorporate that into the store.

[2124] Do you know what I mean?

[2125] So it was like his sister was never supposed to find out he did that and then it was like multiple seasons of her knowing he was a skill, you know what I mean?

[2126] They just got over it very quick.

[2127] She's a cop.

[2128] When they killed his, I mean, spoiler when he killed his wife, when he killed his wife, that's like when I think a lot of people I was like, that's too much.

[2129] He killed his wife?

[2130] When John Lithgow.

[2131] Killed his wife, really?

[2132] Yeah.

[2133] Oh, Jesus.

[2134] I didn't know that.

[2135] Ugh.

[2136] Oh, yeah.

[2137] There's a shitty rear naked chug.

[2138] Look, piss poor jihitsu technique, sir.

[2139] You're not even flexing.

[2140] She's not even flexing.

[2141] I just wish I had a bathtub that I could do that in.

[2142] That would be too person.

[2143] Way, jealous with bathtubs.

[2144] It would be way easier to get a bathtub to do that in than to do that.

[2145] If you do that, you have to kill somebody, okay?

[2146] Do you have a good bath?

[2147] Yeah, I'm sure you do.

[2148] Yeah, good bathtub.

[2149] Yeah, get a bathtub, son Dude, this is America Instead of your bathtub game No one's ever said that Yes, they have Notorious freestyle from the movie Now who played Biggie And how did this come out?

[2150] The kid was good This says 11, 2011 Fuck is a four -year -old movie?

[2151] It's been out for a long time Are we gonna hear his freestyle?

[2152] Oh, I want to hear this The battle Whoa They're angry with each other This is not even really happening This is how starts.

[2153] Someone gets their neck broken and there's fires in the streets.

[2154] I have the video this is recreated after this.

[2155] Come on, man. I know who the king of full of this.

[2156] Hey, DJ, tell you something nice, man. Hey, DJ on the streets, just hand me a microphone in the middle of the street.

[2157] Now, let me tell you a little story about the poop -put -prim.

[2158] Cream had more like Mr. Clean.

[2159] Green be fresh like Irish Spring.

[2160] And around here, I'm raining and it rainy king.

[2161] Big cream.

[2162] Coming from the borough.

[2163] This is not Biggie for the listeners This is Biggie's friend who is talking shit to him It's a rap battle That's supposed to be a little Kim She's pretty Yeah And now Biggie takes the mic Let's hear what he has to say I assume it will be better Even the guy who's pretending to be Biggie is awesome Yeah, it's just more comfortable to listen to it's relaxing.

[2164] Well, if you listen to Biggie's real shit, like, if you ever seen the video of him freestyle in when he was 16 years old, that's what you've got to see.

[2165] So go to this.

[2166] Kill that.

[2167] Go to Biggie when he was 16 years old.

[2168] Is that it?

[2169] Oh, yeah.

[2170] Play this.

[2171] That's 17.

[2172] How good was he?

[2173] At 17.

[2174] There's something about freestyle, though, that there's, it's not.

[2175] It's like roast jokes.

[2176] Yeah, but how about the fact, first of all, it was not a freestyle.

[2177] Those were written rhymes.

[2178] Those were written rhymes.

[2179] I think all freestyles are.

[2180] A lot of them are.

[2181] But it's like being able to flow like on the point and then have the right things to say.

[2182] But that's just, you just got to appreciate what he just did.

[2183] Like what he just did.

[2184] A microphone, an old -schooling microphone like Chris Rock in one of those posters.

[2185] You know, like Lenny Bruce, those old -school microphones.

[2186] He's got one of those.

[2187] He's standing on a fucking corner in front of a grocery store on the street.

[2188] And there's people all around them.

[2189] and there's an actual rap battle going on on the corner.

[2190] I mean, that's, like, one of the greatest videos.

[2191] And so there's a Korean guy just loading buck shots into a...

[2192] Look at this.

[2193] In Bedside.

[2194] That's one of the greatest videos in the history of pop culture.

[2195] You want to talk about a talented motherfucker in his environment, the environment where he developed and grew, and you see how good he is.

[2196] And in his hand, he's got notes, dude.

[2197] And his left hand, he's got its fucking lyrics, man. Most likely.

[2198] Look at that.

[2199] I mean, whatever he's holding in his hand, I would assume that that's probably his notes.

[2200] Yeah.

[2201] I never even noticed that in a second before.

[2202] Is it cash?

[2203] It could be cash, but it's weird -shaped money.

[2204] It's like Bolivian money or some shit Yeah, I mean it doesn't look like cash, right?

[2205] It looks like notes.

[2206] It looks like he's got a notepad or maybe it might be a towel Yeah, that's the one thing.

[2207] He always was sweaty Tees a bad motherfucker dude.

[2208] I mean, it's just amazing to see how good his flow was at 17.

[2209] He's my all -time My all -time favorite rapper?

[2210] That's right there.

[2211] Him and Nas is like my all -time best lyricist I think Nas was like the most complex and the most like I would listen to Nas lyrics and I go god damn this dude's brilliant just brilliant lyrics but uh you know a band that doesn't get enough a group rather doesn't get enough credit gangstar oh yeah fuck they were great dude fuck they were amazing gangstar was a there's some fucking great jams yeah yeah I like gangstar locker but you know it's the worst ever nice and smooth No, what's nice and smooth?

[2212] You don't remember nice and smooth?

[2213] Hip -Up junkies, where they used the Partridge family song?

[2214] Oh, you've heard that.

[2215] No, I haven't.

[2216] Absolutely.

[2217] Really?

[2218] They were, so, like, if you like, uh...

[2219] Like Ari's butthole, I blocked it out.

[2220] If you like, um, Gangstar, they had the song...

[2221] Okay, I might not actually know about this.

[2222] They did the song, Dwick.

[2223] Or, uh...

[2224] Yeah, you know.

[2225] Well, I don't know.

[2226] Go to it.

[2227] Sometimes or I'm slow.

[2228] Sometimes or I'm quick.

[2229] You don't remember that song?

[2230] Oh, I do remember that.

[2231] See, but that's kind of like...

[2232] Like, what year was this?

[2233] These guys are so not in the mix, they actually grew old.

[2234] No one killed them or nothing.

[2235] Look at them.

[2236] Look at all they are.

[2237] They're doing fantastic.

[2238] That good 401Ks.

[2239] Yeah.

[2240] What does that say?

[2241] 91.

[2242] No diabetes.

[2243] 91, man, I was out of the loop.

[2244] That was like when I was struggling hardcore as a comedian dog.

[2245] That was three years into my comedy career.

[2246] I was doing nothing but doing stand -up.

[2247] I didn't go to any clubs where I would ever hear this.

[2248] If you want to chuckle, play the first.

[2249] first verse of hip -hop junkies, it's, you're talking about lyrics, he said, everything is non -sequent, it's not like a cool thing, he just says words that rhyme that's, let's hear it, nothing makes any sense.

[2250] 91's when I lost my virginity.

[2251] Kill the audio for the YouTube video so it doesn't get as pulled off.

[2252] Oh, these fucks.

[2253] The podcast audio should be able to hear this.

[2254] Okay.

[2255] Do you think nice and smooth, does, they do DRM?

[2256] Let's, for us, let's hear this.

[2257] Do you guys hear it?

[2258] No, we don't hear anything.

[2259] We don't hear anything.

[2260] So let's give it up.

[2261] Oh, is this in living color?

[2262] Is that what this is?

[2263] Oh, wow, in living color.

[2264] I remember this.

[2265] Do you remember this?

[2266] Wow.

[2267] See, I went for a period of a few years where I'd watch very little TV.

[2268] I didn't watch much pop culture stuff.

[2269] I don't know this at all.

[2270] Orca was a great big whale I knew a fat girl who broke the scale Man check out the fly girls They were sagging They were sagging even way back then Whoa So this is 91 Sean Wayans was 20 years from doing an open mic How dare you?

[2271] He's a nice fellow SW1 Okay you can stop this before we all Die die of fucking shitty music overload black guys and orange hats remember those days no compare that to biggie when he was 17 play some more of that play this I bet if black people kept dressing like heavy d or like a different world there wouldn't be people getting killed in the street type of dude he looks like he was just playing golf he really is just like a little kid's black kid's school picture all right all right no comparison I do not like that other stuff No, it's horrible Is that the worst ever?

[2272] I think that's probably one of the worst rappers ever.

[2273] I try to concentrate on the best.

[2274] I try to see the best in things, Jay Yorkers?

[2275] The exception of maybe like, didn't like D .D. Ramon make a rap album or something like that?

[2276] Who's Dedey Ramon?

[2277] From the Ramones.

[2278] No way.

[2279] Joey Ramon, D .D. Ramon.

[2280] When he was on heroin, made a rap, a rap video, I think.

[2281] No. Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

[2282] Why?

[2283] Because he was on heroin.

[2284] He needed heroin money.

[2285] Didn't Chris Cornell from Soundgarden make some really bad pop.

[2286] album like really poppy brittney spearsy type music didn't he i don't know what is this what are you playing dd king's rap album no way this is dd romeone let's see you'll see dd king is what he called himself got to see him oh stop stop this stop this right now stop this oh yeah it's him it's de rome oh my god do you think these are like who's being silly i mean he got up and his place is a mess and his pizza on the floor.

[2287] He's living that rock and roll lifestyle.

[2288] Oh, God, this is awful.

[2289] Okay, stop it.

[2290] Stop it.

[2291] What was the other one that we just said?

[2292] Oh, the Chris Cornell stuff.

[2293] That was, I remember that.

[2294] It was like widely decided that that was good.

[2295] But he was so fucking good in Soundgarden.

[2296] It's hard to imagine he was bad in anything.

[2297] You know, listen to blow up the outside world and go, look, that guy gets a pass forever.

[2298] If he can do that, you know, you can try all your fucking goofy, Garth Brooks, Chris Gaines -type projects.

[2299] Sometimes that works, I mean, you know, Sugar Ray was like a speed metal band.

[2300] What?

[2301] Sugar Ray.

[2302] Yeah, they have a song called Mean Machine.

[2303] It's like there was there one like, you know, sort of radio hit?

[2304] And then they were like, you're good looking, man. Like cut that hair and frost your tips and go sing songs for her.

[2305] Is that like a sugar ray, Mark McGrath?

[2306] Yeah.

[2307] How did that guy wind up on entertainment news reporter?

[2308] Nice to look at.

[2309] He's a beautiful to look at.

[2310] But he was a really good musician.

[2311] But I think he probably wanted it.

[2312] I bet he doesn't believe in any.

[2313] Your heart's probably in the music you don't succeed with if that happens to you.

[2314] So that style of music, I just want to fly.

[2315] I don't think that's what he wanted to do.

[2316] If you hear his, the original, they have, like, videos of, like, the original, like, way the band was.

[2317] And they changed completely.

[2318] I heard Incubis did that, too, though.

[2319] I didn't know Incubis very much before the radio hits.

[2320] But, like, my buddy tells me all that.

[2321] time but they were like a pretty like big into psychedelics like psychedelic metal band yeah incubus yeah before they did like you know wish you were here and all that stuff like they were family values too with corn and deftones they were on oz fest before what made them change money you know the record executives coming to go you're really handsome because he was like a dirt bag too like a guy and then he's a pretty boy everyone knows him as a pretty boy in incubus that's weird wow that's great that's the the untold stories of the music music business the manipulation just like we were talking about movies, you know, it's got to be a lot of that in the music business as well.

[2322] They just decide what's going to make it work.

[2323] The beauty and rap is, I love when they get angry at each other, they started explaining who had the better childhood.

[2324] They started shitting, you know what I'm talking about?

[2325] I can listen to this motherfucker.

[2326] It went to private school.

[2327] Like, that's like, they're always like, manned each other over that.

[2328] Dude had a full -on education.

[2329] Yeah, and they're like, remember that was the big thing with that, I mean, eventually got a super exposed, but Dr. Dre, like, right before N .A. was wearing, like, you know, a glittery thing.

[2330] And, you know, it was like, whatever they were, I forget what they were called.

[2331] I just watched that Welcome to Death Row documentary the other day.

[2332] That is...

[2333] I can't wait for the NWA.

[2334] Man, Shug Night is just...

[2335] That's a scary dude, man. What is this?

[2336] Sugar A Me Machine?

[2337] A. Sugar, yeah, what the original thing was, yeah.

[2338] Let me hear this?

[2339] It's terrible.

[2340] That's gross.

[2341] Whoa.

[2342] Yeah, but it looks weird, too.

[2343] It's not just...

[2344] It just looks...

[2345] In the early, my 90s.

[2346] These guys, someone needs to take them out for a hard night somewhere.

[2347] outside of like Orange County take them out of Laguna Beach and bring them to like a really they need scars and tattoos and some life experience you can't pose different guys in front of that old Cadillac just stop that that does not make you slick that's not your car is it is it it's not your fucking car for some reason I believe like Maroon 5 was always Maroon 5 though they've actually evolved with the times to go towards more popular music that does look like the comedy store Jamie Oh my god, it is the comedy store, isn't it?

[2348] No. It's the stage.

[2349] That might be.

[2350] That's the main room stage, dude.

[2351] That's too small.

[2352] No, just with the camera.

[2353] It's the angle of the camera, man. Holy shit, it is.

[2354] I mean, there's also a whole drum kit and everything.

[2355] It's very possible.

[2356] We'll find out.

[2357] Oh, no, it is.

[2358] That totally is.

[2359] It's 100%.

[2360] It's got the side of it.

[2361] It's got the side of it's not.

[2362] It's a very similar design.

[2363] No, it's the same dick lights on the side.

[2364] Yeah, that's it.

[2365] I just was fooled with the cameraing.

[2366] Wow, that's fucking crazy.

[2367] that comedy store main room stage has seen a lot of shit that's where richard prior filmed live at the sunset trip right i thought so i'm pretty sure pull that richard prior live at the sunset strip i think i'm almost positive it was filmed at the comedy store one of them was filmed at the comedy store right was it the roxy well the kinnison uh one the hbill special was filmed at the roxy you know for whatever he's probably banned from the comedy store when it went down He was always like, I mean, they fucking repaired the bullet hole in the back sign.

[2368] I was like, why did you do that?

[2369] Like, why would you do that?

[2370] Why would you fix that?

[2371] From Kinnison.

[2372] Kyneson shot a gun in the parking lot to scare dice.

[2373] He shot the fucking sign, and there was always a bullet hole in it.

[2374] I was like, why would you fix that?

[2375] And like, we didn't, you know, thought it was a good idea to fix it.

[2376] No. God damn it, how could you fix that?

[2377] Like, well, there's still the hole in the back of it.

[2378] I'm like, not good enough.

[2379] Right.

[2380] Not good enough.

[2381] You need to leave the whole whole thing.

[2382] Where was it?

[2383] Hollywood Palladium.

[2384] Oh, it wasn't the Palladium?

[2385] The rest of it was recorded in San Carlos, California.

[2386] What?

[2387] Yeah, that's what says.

[2388] Wait a minute.

[2389] Live on the Sunset Strip?

[2390] Mm -hmm.

[2391] Was all done at a different place?

[2392] Except for one part of it.

[2393] That's crazy.

[2394] So it wasn't on the Sunset Strip.

[2395] And a year later.

[2396] What?

[2397] How is that possible?

[2398] Oh, wait, two months later.

[2399] This is Wikipedia, though, so.

[2400] I mean, it could.

[2401] How is that possible?

[2402] I can get lost on looking at track listing names of comedy albums But these aren't so bad, but sometimes they are just hilarious You know, did one of the funniest...

[2403] Pull up a video of it.

[2404] You know, one of the funniest track listings that, you know, Nate Bargatsy?

[2405] He's a very funny comic.

[2406] Nate Bargazzi, he has a special, actually, was on a Comedy Central air this last week.

[2407] But his album, the tracks are just called, it was like, all right, good start.

[2408] And the track two is like, getting them.

[2409] like two it's like starting to lose them it's always like how the crowd was reacting which is fucking pretty hilarious he's like losing him now he's up got him back like track seven's like got him back did you find it it is really weird how the east coast comics and the west coast comics rarely know each other this is crazy he probably wore the same suit everywhere and did it a bunch of different locations but decided not to use the ones on the sunset trip for most of the recording that's crazy and you can't really tell Because he's in a dark stage.

[2410] He made it just like a regular show.

[2411] That's one thing that was really smart.

[2412] Like he didn't make the audience all lit up like they do in these new Comedy Central specials.

[2413] Those motherfuckers are obsessed with lighting the room up.

[2414] They want to light everybody up.

[2415] Like, hey, fuckhead, that's not how it looks at a comedy show.

[2416] And when you do that, the audience gets weird.

[2417] Like, yeah, you can kind of tell that's not the store.

[2418] Oh, yeah.

[2419] Yeah, I don't know why I did think it was.

[2420] I haven't seen this in a while.

[2421] This is probably one of the all -time greatest comedy document.

[2422] I mean, not probably.

[2423] One of the all -time greatest comedy specials ever.

[2424] And just a documentary as well, kind of, because you're sort of, you're looking back into this time into 1982 when Richard Pryor was on fire.

[2425] I mean, just literally and physically, right?

[2426] This is after a free basin.

[2427] Yeah.

[2428] Yeah.

[2429] Well, you know, he did really get burnt in a freebase accident, said he did, lit himself on fire.

[2430] The reality is he threw some liquor on him and lit himself on fire.

[2431] That's what actually happened.

[2432] And like a Steve O way or like I'm going to end it all right now.

[2433] End it all right now.

[2434] Just the down in the deepest, deepest, deepest, darkest hole after freebasing.

[2435] That's why he admitted it later, later in life, you know, that he had tried to kill himself, that he had lit himself on fire.

[2436] And then look, just after that, here he is on stage.

[2437] Killing and everybody loved him.

[2438] Talk about balance.

[2439] Talk about balance.

[2440] I mean, that's like, you know, to be normal and have like those cohesive thoughts and put those things together like that.

[2441] And then, yeah, at one point, you know, a year or so before this, you're just in that kind of down in that rabbit hole.

[2442] Look it back up a little bit, Jamie.

[2443] Back up to that side view of him again.

[2444] I want to point something out here.

[2445] Watch the way he moves.

[2446] Like, pay attention to his hands as he's talking because we can't hear what he's saying.

[2447] and look at the rhythm to the he's like doing he's putting on a show with his hands like while he's performing his hands are moving in this like delicate controlled way that are it's kind of cool to watch and it accentuates the material itself it accentuates the joke he's moving his hands through the air then it's like it's weird to watch it's like he's doing a little dance while he's also telling the joke his hands going up above his head to emphasize things that's cocaine's moving around no no no it's not it's performers hands he's just a really great stand -up he's moving this is not a guy just standing in front of a microphone talking it's there's a way that he's moving that was also funny it was like it's cool to watch like there's a rhythm to the way he would like going and out like he's relaxing you by walking he's in between bits you know and now he's starting on another one and the hands start moving again it's like he's doing a puppet show or something you know me look at the way he moves It's like, we're not hearing him, so we can only see him, but we can hear the rhythm in the type of material he was doing just by the way he's moving his hands.

[2448] And there was, like, that was part of what his act was.

[2449] It was his actual physical movements were funny.

[2450] They were vulnerable, they were gentle, they were rhythmic, and they were hypnotic.

[2451] Like, you could, there was a hypnotic aspect to the way he actually moved.

[2452] But doesn't, I guess, not.

[2453] I guess not all of them, but a lot of good comics have that element, I think.

[2454] Because you have to stay captivating.

[2455] Oh, yeah.

[2456] We all do.

[2457] And then there's the people who get called on, like, their 40, I mean, that was, like, the dig on, I came in comedy at time where, like, I didn't know Dane Cook enough to be like, oh, that assholes making it.

[2458] But there was a lot of around me people that, you know, it's like, oh, he's just hirking and jerking around on stage.

[2459] And that's all it is.

[2460] And kind of a bunch of nonsense.

[2461] But I was like, I don't know, I think there's something to it.

[2462] I mean, there was definitely an element of what he did with that that brought something to what he did.

[2463] You know, I mean, I'd be lying if I said, Dane Cook didn't make me laugh.

[2464] I remember I've laughed at a bunch of stuff.

[2465] Well, a bunch of people enjoyed his movements, you know, but there's a thing about that style of comedy and like, okay, here's another, here's a better example, like Emo Phillips.

[2466] Emo Phillips, that shit works when you're 25.

[2467] That shit works when you're 35.

[2468] But when you're 45, people start going, hey, man, why are you talking like that?

[2469] You know, like, why are you doing that?

[2470] Like, what is that?

[2471] That I'm pretending that I'm someone that I'm not.

[2472] Especially when you pull the curtain.

[2473] Yes.

[2474] And you do interviews and shit.

[2475] Like Bobcat.

[2476] Bobcat had a band in his early persona.

[2477] He's pretty open about that.

[2478] He talks about it, but his, you know, you know, he would have this crazy, like, wild fucking pulling his hair and screaming.

[2479] And then eventually saying some really funny shit.

[2480] Yeah.

[2481] And you could walk that one, I don't remember what was.

[2482] But I remember renting it at a video store when I was younger He was wearing like a sleeveless cowboy shirt almost on the cover of it And he's like super sweaty and he was hilarious drinking tab coals But he actually stops Doing he never announces it just somewhere in the middle of the set It just that fades away that that character he's doing Huh We probably got annoyed with it after a while And in the middle of that actual set is when I mean he still had the long hair and everything It was like he was yeah just stops doing it in the middle which I thought was uh was uh was odd but yeah when you commit to that character full time and you do have to worry about that emo phillips is a good example i wonder about uh mitch fattel i like Mitch very much you know much fatale right like i mean like i've worked with him recently it's uh when you're starting to show age on your face it's hard to be like the man child you know i mean you're still tiny guy so it works and everything but it's not just like how long will it like there there may be a very definitive brick ceiling on that yeah like a bomb shelter type ceiling.

[2483] Yeah, man. Like, Emo Phillips was the big one.

[2484] That was a big one because I remember watching him all of a sudden just do regular stand -up and I was like, but I watched like a transitionary time where he wasn't just doing regular stand -up.

[2485] He's kind of like doing a softer version of his old self the way he used to do comedy.

[2486] Oh yeah, I saw him at midnight doing it which was weird.

[2487] He was doing it on that show.

[2488] He was talking like that.

[2489] Yeah.

[2490] Yeah.

[2491] Very, very weird.

[2492] I mean, you can't fault it if it works.

[2493] Hi, Chris Hart.

[2494] How do you properly dispose of bacon grease?

[2495] You got to throw in the garbage.

[2496] In the garbage or not you're in the garbage?

[2497] Yeah, you can throw it in the garbage.

[2498] Not in the pipes.

[2499] It's, yeah, don't throw on the pipes.

[2500] It's like, I mean, it's like flesh, you know?

[2501] It's like if you want to kind of get rid of fat.

[2502] How would you get rid of fat?

[2503] Outdoors is okay?

[2504] Throw it outside?

[2505] Yeah.

[2506] I mean, on a tree?

[2507] Why would you put it on a tree?

[2508] You mean, under a tree?

[2509] Like, it's like fertilizer?

[2510] Just dry my dog nuts.

[2511] Turn that shit in the soap?

[2512] like Fight Club, dude.

[2513] Yeah, bro.

[2514] Yeah, bro.

[2515] Did they use human bodies for Fight Club or something like that?

[2516] He was a human fat.

[2517] Human fat from a liposuction clinic or something like that.

[2518] Aren't they doing a Fight Club, too?

[2519] The comic book.

[2520] Just wrote the book.

[2521] What?

[2522] He just wrote the book.

[2523] Oh, he just wrote the book.

[2524] Oh, is it done?

[2525] I think it just came out or it's about to come out.

[2526] Oh.

[2527] A friend did the cover or artwork.

[2528] Really?

[2529] No shit.

[2530] So are they going to make another movie?

[2531] I hope so.

[2532] It's the best movie ever.

[2533] It was not the best movie ever.

[2534] You hope there's a part two?

[2535] That was so not the best movie ever.

[2536] I love Fight Club.

[2537] Have you rewatched that?

[2538] Of course I rewatch it.

[2539] It's fun.

[2540] I like the movie Heat a lot, but I don't want to heat too.

[2541] It's fun up until the moment where you find out that he's the same guy and you're like, get the fuck out of here.

[2542] I like that.

[2543] You watch Memento.

[2544] Yeah.

[2545] Memento is good.

[2546] You hated that.

[2547] You hated the switcher with you.

[2548] Yes, it was so stupid.

[2549] Like, oh, you're the same guy as this guy that you've been falling around and he's been teaching you to fight.

[2550] That's you.

[2551] You just forgot.

[2552] and now you remember?

[2553] Oh, great.

[2554] And then you're going to blow up a building or something stupid?

[2555] Like, get the fuck out of here.

[2556] I wish that would happen to me. I've been convinced to enjoy it much more.

[2557] But when I saw it in the theater, the first one of the first movies in a theater I saw that was like a little odd and different.

[2558] You know what I mean?

[2559] I usually just kind of went to saw like whatever the blockbusters were I was pretty middle the road on my movie taste at that age.

[2560] But like when I went to go see that, it was like, it was so bizarre at the ending.

[2561] I was like, I just kind of law.

[2562] I didn't even get it for it.

[2563] I mean, I got it, he was the same person, but I was like, they just took a weird shit at the end of the movie.

[2564] It also, for me, falls into that same sort of category as the fake Jimmy Hendricks guitar thing.

[2565] I'm watching people beat the shit out of each other.

[2566] I'm like, look, nobody wants the fuck beaten out of them.

[2567] You're certainly not going to get a whole basement of dudes willing to beat the fuck out of each other.

[2568] It's just not going to happen.

[2569] And then, like, you know, we'll die for you.

[2570] Let me tell you something.

[2571] You get hit once.

[2572] You get really bare -knuckled once in the face.

[2573] Very unlikely you're going to keep doing that.

[2574] Very unlikely.

[2575] Showing up at work with black guys all the time.

[2576] Like, really?

[2577] Why wouldn't you just learn how to fight at a martial art school, you fucking idiot?

[2578] You're going to meet with some asshole in a parking lot.

[2579] You guys are going to beat each other's brains out.

[2580] You're going to get on top of you.

[2581] Yeah, you ain't pretty anymore.

[2582] Remember that?

[2583] Jared Letto, you beat him bloody until his fucking face was swollen.

[2584] Come on.

[2585] Yeah, that's a good movie.

[2586] What did you feel about?

[2587] What did you feel about?

[2588] I thought one of the dumbest scenes to me was when Edward Norton, was that 25th hour?

[2589] Did you ever see that at the end when he's like, I can't go in looking this pretty?

[2590] So beat me up, it goes, you're going to be pretty again in like a couple weeks, man. You're going to buy your butthole like four weeks?

[2591] Just go in pretty and fight that guy.

[2592] Like, try to, fight the guy who's trying to fuck your butt.

[2593] How stupid is that?

[2594] I can't go in pretty.

[2595] He's that certain he's going to get fucked in the ass right away.

[2596] I guarantee you that's some more Hollywood fuckery.

[2597] That's some jackass has never been punched saying, I think you should go in beat up.

[2598] He's going to get his buddy to beat him up.

[2599] This is the big turn.

[2600] Unmercifully, by the way.

[2601] It was like a crazy beating.

[2602] vision from those sometimes.

[2603] Sometimes you lose your sense of smell.

[2604] This guys lose their taste.

[2605] They can't taste things after they get punched in the head.

[2606] They literally don't know what things taste like.

[2607] Like this idea that someone's just going to punch you and you just get all bruised up a little.

[2608] It's not a Charlie Horse, okay?

[2609] He's punching your fucking brain.

[2610] Punching where you store your brain.

[2611] This is the container where your brain's in.

[2612] And it only has so many times it could even move like that.

[2613] Getting bounced off the curb.

[2614] What the fuck out of here?

[2615] It's just ridiculous.

[2616] The trivialization of brain hemorrhage.

[2617] and brain trauma and beat downs like that.

[2618] It's like, I can't go along with that.

[2619] I know too much.

[2620] I've seen too many people get the fucking brains beaten out of them.

[2621] I've seen it too many times.

[2622] So I didn't like Fight Club, but Axe Mocky.

[2623] Didn't like it.

[2624] Do you like Warrior?

[2625] Yes, but it was bullshit.

[2626] You can't fight two days in a row.

[2627] You just can't.

[2628] You'd be so fucked up from the first fight.

[2629] You'd be better to be mad to fight back to back.

[2630] Yes.

[2631] Back to back in one day.

[2632] Any day over that movie.

[2633] Well, I think Fight Club is a better movie than Warrior.

[2634] It's definitely a better as a move.

[2635] Well, better, much better movie.

[2636] It's just that one reveal.

[2637] I could almost deal with the idea that these guys were filled with ang so much.

[2638] They were wanted to beat each other up just so they could feel alive.

[2639] I could kind of get that for a little bit, but no one had any technique.

[2640] That doesn't make any sense to me. That guys wouldn't actually learn how to fight.

[2641] Look at that.

[2642] Sweet little tities.

[2643] But, what was I going to say?

[2644] You bought into the fact that they were Just that the turnaround, the flip, the reveal that he was the same guy, was just so dumb.

[2645] And it became like, you can't do that.

[2646] You can't pretend that he was just, oh, it was just a dream.

[2647] Like your whole movie's based on like a switcheroo.

[2648] Like the whole movie's a big switcheroo.

[2649] Do not see the latest episodes of Grey's Anatomy then when Mr. McDreamy dies.

[2650] Don't have to worry about that.

[2651] You do not have to be so pissed at all.

[2652] Oh, there's a thousand horrible switcheroo in that.

[2653] You do not have to worry about me. watching that's what the the ending of Dexter just did the shittiest thing of all time don't do it to me so much I can't do it it was horrible well that was one of the things that I really appreciated about that ex machina movie is there's none of that every scene in that movie did you see it no I'm seeing it Jamie you saw tomorrow it's fucking badass it's so smart it's so well done that you buy every step of the way like there's never one part in the movie like get the fuck out of here is it a dark flick pretty Oh, it's good, dude, it's good.

[2654] It's creepy, it's good.

[2655] It's like, it puts you in a position.

[2656] You're like, fuck, I don't know, man. It's about AI.

[2657] I can't tell you, bitch.

[2658] It's about AI.

[2659] It's pretty fucking good, man. Like, one of the best movies I've seen in many years.

[2660] Have you seen this Elon Musk thing, the Tesla firewall?

[2661] This new, very affordable solar power battery that he's invented.

[2662] That's $3 ,500.

[2663] They could charge a fucking whole house.

[2664] Wow.

[2665] A total game changer.

[2666] Have you seen this shit, James?

[2667] It's incredible.

[2668] There's a video.

[2669] If you go on my Twitter feed, there's a video that I retweeted that somebody sent me a YouTube video of him explaining it.

[2670] It's a fucking complete total game changer when it comes to batteries and wall -mounted units.

[2671] You could stack as many as nine of these wall -mounted units.

[2672] They're 3 ,500 bucks, which is like solar power was like really prohibitively expensive for most people.

[2673] Like super, super expensive with those batteries.

[2674] The tech's all fucked up.

[2675] They stink.

[2676] They're all.

[2677] They overheat.

[2678] They're dangerous.

[2679] But apparently this fucking dude has nailed it.

[2680] I don't know.

[2681] I mean, I'm obviously not a fucking expert on batteries, but people are very, very excited about this fucking thing.

[2682] We'll take our air cars.

[2683] We'll take our air cars to go buy one.

[2684] Yeah, give us some volume.

[2685] We'll close out with this because we've got to get the fuck out of here.

[2686] It's 20 minutes long.

[2687] We'll give us just a little bit of volume here.

[2688] Jamie?

[2689] Play a little bit of it.

[2690] Look at a beautiful man. Beautiful Iron Man type motherfucker.

[2691] This is a product we call the Tesla Powerwall.

[2692] And if you look back against that wall, you'll see a whole bunch of them.

[2693] as well in different colors.

[2694] How long before this guy makes an Iron Man suit?

[2695] You can pick your favorite color.

[2696] He's Iron Man. And it looks like a beautiful sculpture on the wall.

[2697] So it's very important.

[2698] I want to point out a few things that are very important about this.

[2699] The fact that it's wall -mounted is vital, because it means you don't need to have a battery room.

[2700] You don't have to have some room filled with nasty batteries.

[2701] It means that a normal household can mount this on their garage or on the outside wall of their house and it doesn't take up any room it's it's I mean it's flat against the wall it has all of the integrated safety systems the thermal controls the DC you know this guy is like a fat wife and a moo -moo some other parts of that's just awful like this guy is like a guy in a movie it addresses all the needs so watch that folks if you want to watch because we're out of time here the future but this guy's like a guy in the movie He's like a super billionaire genius inventor from a movie.

[2702] I mean, he makes a car that everybody falls in love with.

[2703] It's got a goddamn laptop in the middle of it.

[2704] You've seen those?

[2705] Yeah, my friend gets to drive.

[2706] Aubrey's got one.

[2707] I heard it's amazing.

[2708] Yeah.

[2709] There's no feeling of shift at all.

[2710] It's just this acceleration.

[2711] There's a new one that comes out next year, though.

[2712] That's going to be a lot better, I heard.

[2713] Well, I don't think it's, I don't know if it's next year.

[2714] His, a new Tesla?

[2715] Yeah, new Tesla.

[2716] Well, he had a new model that he debuted that's unbelievably fast.

[2717] It's zero to 60 in like three something seconds.

[2718] It's all electric, right?

[2719] All electric.

[2720] But they still can't go to Vegas.

[2721] You still can't go to Vegas.

[2722] Why?

[2723] You have to stop.

[2724] You have to stop halfway there and charge up in the middle of the fucking desert.

[2725] It's some creep -head, fucking weirdos stop where you plug in and you gotta wait for half an hour while they circle you like buzzards, because they know you can't go anywhere.

[2726] Hey man, you can't even drive with that right now.

[2727] If you're gonna drive with that right now, how far you think you'd get?

[2728] How long's it last?

[2729] How long's it last?

[2730] You might get 350 miles out of it.

[2731] tank you know a charge rather you might but if you're driving fast you won't you're driving fast it's going to eat it up using more power oh yeah it's like having a bunch of apps open yeah it's gonna eat it up so like when it starts lowering uh it's it's it dims the inside lights does all the shit to uh like Aubrey has one he almost almost died out on his way home one night because he left it at his office and when you leave it somewhere it slowly drains the battery like you can't leave it and just go away for three weeks and come back to a fully charged up battery.

[2732] It'll be hurting.

[2733] Yeah.

[2734] It's like having your iPhone and just leaving it on the kitchen table for a week.

[2735] Leaving it on.

[2736] Yeah, yeah.

[2737] Because it's also an iPhone.

[2738] Like a cell phone.

[2739] It's got a 3G connection.

[2740] Only 3G, which is whack.

[2741] But it's constantly connected to the internet.

[2742] So like you could say, Google, uh, flock of seagulls, and it'll pull up flock of seagulls and you'll start play flock of seagulls.

[2743] And it'll give you some options.

[2744] And you can just start, And I start streaming I got in nowhere That's what I would have picked That's what I would have picked That's what I know That's why I said it I knew it was your shit man What is your shit If you had If you're gonna talk to your Tesla What would you tell it Or you wear your Punisher shirt Oh man It depends Depends in the mood Quite honestly It could be metal It could be a You know Little River Band A bunch of goofy like You know Soft rock hits Or 80s music or rap Or whatever yeah If you want to see a really bad movie, see the Dolph Lundgren version of The Punisher.

[2745] Horrible movie.

[2746] I went to the theater for that, I think.

[2747] Did you ever see the short they did with Thomas Jane?

[2748] Is it Thomas Jane who played him?

[2749] Well, here's, it's even better.

[2750] It's so bad, and it's low resolution back then, right?

[2751] And so he couldn't grow a beard, and the Punisher had to have a beard.

[2752] So they smudge makeup on his face to pretend it's a beard.

[2753] See if you can pull it up and we'll end with this, because we'll get a nice, hearty man laugh.

[2754] So all three of us can grow an actual beard.

[2755] Look at this pussy.

[2756] He's Dolf Lundgren.

[2757] Meanwhile, he's a stud.

[2758] Bruce Jenner understands.

[2759] Bruce Jenner's the only person understand.

[2760] Yeah, Bruce Jenet, he has it all lasered off.

[2761] Fuck.

[2762] Can I say my podcast before everyone gets mad at me?

[2763] Legion of Skanks?

[2764] Legion of Skanks.

[2765] And the SDR show is on all things comedy as same as Arias.

[2766] What is the SDR show?

[2767] Sex drugs and rock and roll.

[2768] Just interview porn stars and rock stars.

[2769] You guys are crazy.

[2770] We interviewed Tesla, but not that guy.

[2771] The band Tesla.

[2772] That's the kind of interviews we do.

[2773] It's fun.

[2774] Very fun.

[2775] Is it available on iTunes?

[2776] all them available on iTunes?

[2777] All available on iTunes.

[2778] SDR show is on All Things Comedy.

[2779] See if you can go back to, see if you find a good picture of his face, like a Google image, because it's so stupid.

[2780] He couldn't?

[2781] Oh, I guarantee you there's one.

[2782] Look at this fucking, the smudgy.

[2783] There we go.

[2784] Right there.

[2785] It's so vague.

[2786] He's got, like, fake beard on.

[2787] It's like a really, no, that's not it.

[2788] Well, it's funny if you see the one where you get the bullets on his chest, like you can see when it's too light that he has no beard at all.

[2789] It's hard to tell You can tell a little bit there That movie pissed me on He's like a 12 -year -old Cuban kid Well, he was so good as Drago though He was so good as Drago Yeah, and that's what the Punisher would have looked like Yeah, but Brigitte Nielsen was so good as Mrs. Drago And she fucked Flavent eventually So, you know, we all have our ups and peaks and valleys, y 'all We're going to end with that Because that shit's real as fuck Remember Brigitte Mielsen Yeah, remember how hot she used to be Smoking, like Cobra?

[2790] Wednesday night at the Comedy Store is ridiculous show.

[2791] Yeah, we got Sarah Silverman, you, Greg Fitzsimmons, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brody Stevens, and a bunch of surprise people.

[2792] But May 12th, San Francisco at the Punchline with Tony and May 13th in Sacramento.

[2793] Tickets are on sale at Punchline Comedy.

[2794] And Desquad .com.

[2795] TV for all the dates, if you don't remember it.

[2796] And Red Band on Twitter, if you want to just, do you have your dates up on your iTunes or your Twitter page?

[2797] Yeah, they're at, tour dates at desk squad dot TV Powerful Jay Okerson I'm glad we could do it again Thanks for having me. Hey man, anytime you're in town Let me know, we'll hook it up, keep doing it Always a good time my friend Again, follow Big J. O 'Kerson on Twitter, website BigJComody .com BigJ comedy, you fucks.

[2798] All right, love you guys Talk to you soon, many, many more podcast this week.

[2799] See you, bye -bye, big guys