Scott Galloway (on the crisis facing boys and men)

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert, experts on expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard, I'm joined by Mrs. Mowell.

[2] Hi there.

[3] Hi, Monica.

[4] Hi, Dad.

[5] Happy Thursday to you.

[6] It's Thursday.

[7] Oh, it is.

[8] It's almost Friday.

[9] We have a super cool guest today.

[10] Came to us by a way of a mutual friend Liz Plank.

[11] That's right.

[12] She turned us on to him.

[13] It's shocking to me that I hadn't already been hip to him.

[14] I love his message so much.

[15] Scott Galloway.

[16] Scott Galloway is a best -selling author, a professor, and an entrepreneur.

[17] He's currently professor of marketing at NYU Stern School of Business.

[18] He also has two very successful podcasts, the Proff G -Pod and Pivot Podcast.

[19] His books are The Four, Algebra of Happiness, Adrift, and Post -Corona.

[20] We get to talk to him in an area that's just something he cares about.

[21] That's what the bulk of ours was.

[22] Yeah, it's mainly about masculinity.

[23] Yeah, men and masculinity and kind of a report card of where young men are at currently.

[24] Yeah.

[25] I loved it.

[26] But I love you.

[27] Love you.

[28] Please enjoy Scott Galloway.

[29] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[30] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[31] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[32] Can you hear us?

[33] Yeah, I can hear you perfectly, Dax.

[34] This is the best thing that's happened to me today.

[35] I didn't put two and two together.

[36] I saw expert interview, and I'm like, it's another media company that I've fooled.

[37] And then you guys came up, and I recognize both you, and I'm like, oh, my God, I've hit the big time.

[38] That's so flattering.

[39] That's very flattering.

[40] And you have a painting of a Great Dane behind you, and I have a Great Dane.

[41] I'm a Great Dane addict, if you will.

[42] Oh, wow.

[43] Okay, so I love them.

[44] They're so regal.

[45] They're so enormous.

[46] Shelf life's not great on these things, right?

[47] No. What are we?

[48] Four to seven years?

[49] years.

[50] It's not that bad.

[51] You got to get the run to the litter because the difference between 120 pounds and 180 is like two to three years, but they're gentle giants.

[52] They're really loving dogs.

[53] You have a great day and energy.

[54] Sweet, loving and stupid.

[55] No, Regal.

[56] Oh, Ringle.

[57] Thanks for that.

[58] Well, I'm incredibly excited to talk to you because we have A, so many common interests, but B, really similar life stories.

[59] If I may, here we go.

[60] Uh -oh, but first, we must shout out Liz Plank, which is how I got connected to you.

[61] Love Liz.

[62] Yes, she's a frequent...

[63] Connector?

[64] Well, no, a fucking squatter in our guest house.

[65] She regularly lives in our guest house, so...

[66] Yeah, I'd hate having a smart, hot woman hanging out.

[67] That's exactly how I feel.

[68] That must really suck.

[69] Okay, so I'm just going to hit you with some shit.

[70] Single mother, this is a really unifying, I think, force.

[71] Yeah.

[72] Yep.

[73] How tall are you?

[74] I used to be 6 .3, now I'm 6 .2.

[75] I'm shrinking.

[76] How much do you wait?

[77] Let's see how far we can go down here.

[78] I am currently 207.

[79] Okay.

[80] You win.

[81] I'm 187.

[82] That's tremendous.

[83] Now, I lived at 185 for 25 years, and then three years ago, I said, I want to be a big boy.

[84] I've never been a big boy, and I'm going to commit all my energy to being a big boy.

[85] So you're lifting?

[86] Oh, my God, lifting around the clock, using testosterone, going berserk, watching my diet.

[87] So you're a beast.

[88] I went up to 215, and now I'm scaling back.

[89] I had my thrill, and now I'm coming back down to probably 200.

[90] Yeah, Mickey Rourke hits podcasts.

[91] Yes, all the facial surgeries are scheduled.

[92] Those are upcoming.

[93] Nice, good for you.

[94] Yeah, I work out, not as much as you.

[95] I have trouble keeping weight on.

[96] I'm jealous of the fact that you could put on muscle mass like that.

[97] But anyways, back to single mothers.

[98] Well, no, hold on.

[99] Fuck it.

[100] We're here.

[101] It's all related.

[102] What's your openness to hormonal supplementation?

[103] That's the key, really.

[104] I'm on tea therapy.

[105] Okay.

[106] I haven't had the same result as all it's done is I put on about three to five pounds of muscle.

[107] When I was younger, I used to do cycles of creatine, and I would put on five to eight pounds of kind of lean body mass. CrossFit makes me bigger, but I'm 58 now.

[108] CrossFit's a little too intense for me, so I just have a tough time keeping weight on, but I have body dysmorphia.

[109] I was so skinny growing up.

[110] And then finally, when I joined crew at UCLA, I started putting on weight, and quite frankly, people started treating me differently, i. women started treating me differently.

[111] And so I associate confidence and good things happening to me with being a little bit bigger.

[112] So I would love to be 200 pounds and add another 13 pounds of muscle, but it's almost genetically, I think, near impossible for me. Okay, so body dysmorphic, I have it as well.

[113] I want to know what age years started.

[114] Well, mine started really young.

[115] When I got my driver's license, I was 5, 10, 120 pounds.

[116] When I got to UCLA, I was 6 to 150 pounds with bad actors.

[117] which isn't a good rap.

[118] Yeah, I look like Iqabod Crane with bad skin.

[119] And just so many good things started happening for me when I got bigger and started working out.

[120] And I just associate that.

[121] I have the same thought every time I look in the mirror and that is I look too skinny and I look frail and old.

[122] And I think some of the body dysmorphia that we bring a lot of attention to around women who constantly struggle with weight the different way, I think a lot of guys feel the same way.

[123] But it's not healthy.

[124] I totally agree with you.

[125] And what's funny is because we talk about this a lot on here.

[126] The women's side is purported to be driven by men.

[127] I'd argue it's driven by other women.

[128] I know the male side is driven by other men.

[129] But you're saying you got attention from women in a different way.

[130] Yeah, but I was a decent athlete.

[131] I peaked at the age of nine, athletically, and then I grew afoot, and I was no longer able to play football or contact sports because I was just so tall and skinny.

[132] But I think in the fashion industrial complex, we've never kind of settled in on what's average.

[133] The positive side of this, physical fitness is my antidepressant.

[134] I go down a rabbit hole.

[135] If I don't sweat, if I don't work out, I have real trouble.

[136] And it would require substances or some sort of other intervention, which would be a bad way for me to go, I think.

[137] I've worked out four times a week for 40 years.

[138] So it's played a huge role in my life in a positive way.

[139] Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

[140] And I've actually thought on numerous occasions, I'll probably live a lot longer through my vanity.

[141] Oh, 100%.

[142] Yeah.

[143] Like, I quit smoking, not because I was afraid of lung cancer, but because I knew I would age 3x.

[144] So what I was supposed to, I was like, I don't want a petrillion wrinkles when I'm 38.

[145] It was all for my face, not my lungs.

[146] And weirdly enough, Liz gave me this study.

[147] There's a great study where they ask women to pick the body type they think men want and then men.

[148] What happens uniformly is that women pick a body type that's way thinner than what men want, and men pick a body type way more muscular than any other woman wants, which is why I say it's driven by our kind of competitive nature with one another.

[149] It's also primal.

[150] I think that strength and physicality are just wonderful things to embrace.

[151] And it's not about being super skinny or super ripped.

[152] It's about being the strongest version of yourself.

[153] And you're younger than me. But once you get to about 45 or 50, you look back and you think, shit, why wasn't I a fucking monster when I could have been?

[154] Because it gets near impossible as you get older.

[155] It becomes just like hanging on.

[156] So I like it when people really embrace their physicality and try to be just a stronger version of themselves.

[157] This is all retroactively.

[158] It all makes perfect sense now.

[159] Maybe it's not this crystal clear.

[160] But for me, no dad around.

[161] I had an older brother, which was helpful.

[162] But in general, being handed the baton of masculinity or someone saying you're doing it correctly was not there.

[163] So in the absence of that, I looked at my peers and I looked to other kids my age, other males to define my masculinity.

[164] Did you have any consequence of not having a dad in the house that you now realize you were just dying to win your male stripes?

[165] I think the tough part for me around not having a dad around, it sounds very basic, but we didn't have any money.

[166] And kids who grew up in long -income households have just a higher resting blood pressure.

[167] Yeah, it was hard not having a dad around.

[168] My dad was sort of involved in my life.

[169] You know, I spent every other weekend with him.

[170] The lesson I took from my father, though, was try and fuck anything, regardless of the impact it has on your life.

[171] My dad was Scottish, handsome, and living in California in the 70s, which meant he could not only think with his dick, but he could listen to it.

[172] And that was my role model.

[173] My dad's been married and divorced four times.

[174] His inability to maintain any sort of monogamous relationship has kind of ruined him up until the age of 80, and then he got his act together.

[175] We think his fifth marriage is going to stick.

[176] I didn't have what I'd call a high character male raw model.

[177] And then like you, I think a lot about masculinity.

[178] I defined masculinity as one being awesome.

[179] I got into a job as an investment banker because I thought it would be awesome.

[180] I thought, you know, American Psycho, that I'm just supposed to be a baller.

[181] That's what it means to be successful, not knowing what investment banking was.

[182] I tried to be huge.

[183] And I tried to have sex with as many strange people as possible.

[184] There's some good and some bad things about those things that the skills he developed.

[185] But then as you get older, you realize that masculinity is a wonderful thing.

[186] You just have to define it.

[187] It's not the domain strictly of people born as men.

[188] I think a lot of women demonstrate fantastic masculine features.

[189] And I think of it as garnering strengths and skills such you can protect and advocate for others, whether that's organizing communities, trying to help other people, advocating for young men, advancing the career of other people, whatever it might be.

[190] But that's true masculinity.

[191] So I still like to think of myself as a Tarzan alpha male.

[192] I want to be a masculine person.

[193] I aspire to be masculine.

[194] It's just how you define what masculinity is.

[195] You know, my mom was a light of my life, and something that's hugely rewarding for me now is seeing the closeness between my partner and our sons.

[196] I don't think there's anything to replicate the mother -son or the mother -daughter relationship.

[197] It was the reason I got my act together.

[198] I was like you, or I think I was like you, I spent most of my time at UCLA smoking dope and watching Planet of the Apes.

[199] That was kind of what I did for five years at UCLA.

[200] And then when I got out of school, my mom got very sick.

[201] And I remember the exact weekend, I was in graduate school.

[202] And she called me and said, I am not doing well.

[203] I need you to come home and help me. And she had been discharged from the hospital after going through like her third round of chemo.

[204] And I walked into a very ugly situation in my house.

[205] And I'm like, okay, I got to get a nurse.

[206] And nurses were 55 bucks an hour, which I didn't have.

[207] I was in graduate school.

[208] And then I called the hospital back.

[209] And she was in an HMO and they're like, we can't take her.

[210] And I remember thinking, like, I'm the man here.

[211] My only job is to take care of my mom, and I can't do it.

[212] And it was just so humiliating and so emasculating.

[213] What is the point of being a man if you can't take care of your mother, right?

[214] It's just like I had failed on a cosmic level.

[215] And I get emotional just remembering it, but quite frankly, it was exceptionally motivating.

[216] It's time to get your shit together, boss.

[217] And I often say, now that I have kids, and this is something I think every parent struggles with, if I had what my kids have, I wouldn't have what I have.

[218] Oh, yeah.

[219] It was an absence of things that really motivated me to make the requisite commitment that's required to be successful.

[220] And then you talked about your peer group.

[221] I got so lucky because we like to think as parents that our kids are a block of clay and you can shape them.

[222] We get the chisel kind of 30 minutes a day maybe.

[223] But the thing that had probably the most impact on me was my peer group.

[224] And I just lucked out.

[225] One of my friends was a Mormon going to Stanford.

[226] Another friend of mine was a black kid that wouldn't go to college unless he got a football scholarship.

[227] so I'd like to think I got both aspiration and empathy.

[228] I just fell into a good peer group.

[229] I got very lucky.

[230] What part of L .A. was this?

[231] I went to university high school.

[232] I lived in Westwood.

[233] Oh, okay.

[234] So in the shadow of UCLA the whole time.

[235] Yeah, I'm a fan of big government and people constantly shippost our government.

[236] But the reason I'm here talking to you is the generosity of California taxpayers and the vision of the University of California Regents.

[237] I got into UCLA when they had a 76 % admissions rate.

[238] And I got rejected the first time.

[239] My dad got me a job installing shelving, 18 bucks an hour, which seemed like a shit ton of money.

[240] And the only thing I had that I looked forward is at the end of the day, we used to get ridiculously high, and then I would take to the highways in my 84 Honda Accord.

[241] And I remember coming home and I was living with my mom, and I remember saying, like, is this it?

[242] Like, my whole life, people have been telling me I'm smart and impressive.

[243] And now I'm literally in a closet all day.

[244] And she said, apply again.

[245] There was an appeal process.

[246] And I remember, like, the co -head of admissions from UCLA called me and said, you're not qualified, but you're the son of a single mother and a son of California.

[247] We're going to give you a shot.

[248] And it changed my life.

[249] It started an upward trajectory that is paid off hugely for me. And unfortunately, the admissions rate at UCLA this year will be 9%.

[250] I was just going to ask you, yeah, what do you think?

[251] Because I graduated in 2000, and I don't know that it was 9%, but it couldn't have been much more than 12.

[252] Education used to be the upward lubricant of kind of the middle class, and it's turned into the enforcer the caste system.

[253] If you're from a top 1 % income earning household, you're 77 times more likely to get into an elite university.

[254] There are now 33 of the top 100 colleges have more kids from the top 1 % than the bottom 60.

[255] And me and my colleagues, and I say my colleagues, people in academia, we think of ourselves as Chanel bags, not as public servants.

[256] And every year, when the dean stands up and says, we rejected 90 % of our applicants, all of us stand up and applaud, which in my view is tantamount to the head of a homeless shelter, bragging that he or she turned away nine and 10 people last night because higher education used to be about trying to give the bottom 90 % a chance to be in the top 10%.

[257] And now we've optimized to try and figure out who are the top 1 % and turn them into billionaires.

[258] And I don't think that's what America is about.

[259] So I think me and my colleagues are kind of drunk on the self -aggrandizement and arrogance that has turned us into luxury brands as opposed to public servants.

[260] I think it's a real shame.

[261] And it's something that I find very distressing and I have personal relation to it because I don't think anyone can predict greatness at the age of 17 or by a bloodline.

[262] And if they tried to do that with me, they wouldn't have let me in.

[263] Yeah.

[264] You were on the board of Berkeley yet?

[265] I was on the board of the business school about 10, 12 years ago, but I'm being very reductive.

[266] I think the University of California is doing their level best.

[267] They're trying to expand freshman seats by 20 ,000 seats over the next 10 years.

[268] State sponsored education is who I am.

[269] Did you study theater at UCLA?

[270] Anthropology.

[271] Anthropology.

[272] That's awesome.

[273] I was not content with the culture that was handed to me. curious, were there other approaches?

[274] Was there less puritanical?

[275] Was there less constrictive?

[276] I just felt like there must be other ways to do this.

[277] And I think that's what got me interested in it.

[278] And I got a little frustrated with there being such a little application to the social science, as it were, we're culturally relative.

[279] We're not really supposed to be prescriptive in any way.

[280] That got a little frustrating.

[281] But I think the thing I walked with was not just openness, but a genuine, I get stimulated by forcing myself to imagine why infanticide might not be morally reprehensible in a certain context.

[282] That's the thing I took away that I really applied to the rest of my life, that I would recommend doing anthro to anyone.

[283] You know, I would say, in my next life, I'm going to be a Broadway dancer, a Navy SEAL, or an evolutionary anthropologist.

[284] I think understanding the millions of years of activities and the kind of path and the predisposition we have around everything is really fascinating.

[285] And because we've become, you know, more sensitive, and in some instances more woke, we ignore how powerful these influences are.

[286] I think I'm probably in the same spot as you I'm projecting now, but I think I have this understanding of our evolution.

[287] I have an understanding of how new the experiment is.

[288] I have these liberal ideals.

[289] I also have this belief in how we were designed to live.

[290] I'm trying to make those things.

[291] I'm also looking at society.

[292] And we were just talking a few weeks ago.

[293] We had a relationship psychiatrist on.

[294] She was brilliant.

[295] But I was saying, you know, I'm curious in 200 years if we watch what the fallout of this trajectory is.

[296] And if I could do it in one second, it's like, well, we were originally designed to have to depend on 50 to 100 people.

[297] That's just what it took to survive on this planet with no good tools.

[298] We had to do that.

[299] We lived that way for 100 ,000 years.

[300] Then we whittled it down over time until two people could.

[301] make a go at it.

[302] Two people could get married.

[303] They could procreate.

[304] They could provide all their needs.

[305] And now it only is one person.

[306] And guess what?

[307] I'm in favor of all those steps that got us to one person.

[308] I'm in favor of women being educated and employed.

[309] I have two daughters.

[310] I want them to do whatever they wanted with the same freedom I had.

[311] Yet I am questioning what the result will be when all of us just live single in 200 years.

[312] This animal that is the most social primate ever is now a solitary creature.

[313] That's what right now perplexes me and I guess concerns me. You're the one with a degree in anthropology and I think you're more thoughtful about this than I am in terms of monogamous relationship and marriage.

[314] I don't know what we're going to be doing in 100 years, but I'm not sure it's going to look like marriage.

[315] Marriage rates are plummeting.

[316] If you watch TikTok long enough, it'll just convince you that marriage is a bit of, bad deal for men and women somehow.

[317] And as women become more educated, their criteria go up, so their filter gets much finer.

[318] There's a lot of what I'd call economically and emotionally unviable men.

[319] There's going to be two female college graduates for every one in the next five years.

[320] And going back to anthropology, women mate socioeconomically horizontally and up and men horizontally and down.

[321] In some, a female college graduate doesn't want to mate with a non -college graduate of kind of unviable men or men that don't meet the criteria that women have for a mate.

[322] And there's questions around, well, men need to level up.

[323] What I do find disappointing is that when we talk about many of the challenges facing women and girls, we talk about it in societal terms and the needs for intervention.

[324] When we talk about problems with young men, it's essentially a discussion around personal accountability and summed up by young men just need to get their shit together.

[325] And I think young men are really struggling.

[326] Your point around the size of the tribe, what strikes me is that when we're sort of connected to each other via algorithms and technology, it isolates us, makes us less social, and gives us this kind of reasonable facsimile or fake signal around what it means to be social, what it means to be in a relationship.

[327] And I worry that we're disconnecting from each other.

[328] And there's a lot of data.

[329] Church attendance is down.

[330] The number of kids joining the boy or the Girl Scouts.

[331] The number of people who speak to their neighbors is down like 30 or 40 percent.

[332] And I wonder if we're just becoming, especially a lot of young men, very isolated from one another.

[333] You know, the key to happiness and longevity.

[334] The number three is genetics.

[335] Number two is lifestyle.

[336] Number one is how social you are.

[337] And there's just a crisis in loneliness.

[338] One in seven men in America don't have a single friend.

[339] My father -in -law was visiting this weekend.

[340] He had just read this headline in, I don't know, if his New York Times or whatever.

[341] Yeah, but the single predictor of longevity is friendship.

[342] How social you are.

[343] I think that would blow people's mind.

[344] We had also an expert on years ago that was saying if given the choice between being a smoker with friends or a non -smoker without friends, it would be a healthier decision to be a smoker with friends.

[345] Yeah, loneliness is the equivalent of what they say on your health of 17 cigarettes a day.

[346] And it goes back to more evolutionary biology, but your brain has kind of a security monitor on observing your activities every day.

[347] And that's the bad news.

[348] The good news is it can be fooled easily.

[349] And it's basically that says, okay, exercise means you're hunting or you're building house.

[350] Let's let him or her stick around a while.

[351] When you engage with other people, it means you're taking care of them.

[352] You're loving them.

[353] Caregivers live the longest.

[354] New mothers don't die.

[355] So when you're engaged in other people's lives, the camera goes, all right, this person is adding value.

[356] When you're doing a crossword puzzle or working hard, it says, okay, this person is making decisions for the tribe.

[357] Let's keep him or her around a while.

[358] You want to die?

[359] Just stop talking to people, stop engaging mentally, stop exercising, and you'll get your wish because the brain will go, this person's not adding any value.

[360] It's time to let out those hormones that ramp up to bad cholesterol, and you'll get your wish.

[361] You've got to stay super engaged.

[362] And I think a lot of technology is taking us exactly the wrong place, especially young men who biologically, their prefrontal cortex just doesn't evolve as fast.

[363] You have two girls.

[364] I have two boys.

[365] Basically, I figured out that my job, my role is apparent, is to be their prefrontal cortex, that they just do so many stupid things every day.

[366] Yeah.

[367] And I'm like, okay, you can't watch TikTok for 14 hours.

[368] That's not a good idea.

[369] You know, you do need to do your homework.

[370] How old are they?

[371] They're 12 and 15 going on 4.

[372] Okay.

[373] Girls mature faster.

[374] When your daughters are seniors in high school and they're 17 and they're applying to college, from a neuroscience standpoint, the 17 -year -old boy they're competing with, they're competing against a 15 -year -old girl.

[375] Seven and 10 high school valedictorians are girls and they're just blowing away boys on almost every educational metric.

[376] Okay, so I want to be clear and say up front, I don't like that.

[377] this branch of folks in public, there's some famous evolutionary biologists that are making a lot of speeches to men.

[378] I also believe culture is much stronger than all this stuff.

[379] So I'm also a big, big believer in culture.

[380] So every time someone wants to say we should be living a certain way because of our evolutionary bias, I'm a little cautious about that.

[381] Yet it's certainly a big factor.

[382] And what I just pointed out, like I would say simply, if you force the chimp to live on its own in the jungle, it would be dead in a couple days.

[383] You put 25 solitary Bengal tigers in the same compound.

[384] They're all dead because they've shred each other apart.

[385] It's very weird to put social animals, make them solitary, or vice versa.

[386] So I do think that's a big unavoidable reality of us as a species.

[387] But my other disclaimer I want to say is I can't imagine it's easy to have sympathy for boys because, yes, we live in a patriarchy.

[388] That's so true.

[389] Men have fucking had women as slaves for the last 150 ,000 years.

[390] We have implemented systems and laws that favor us and particularly the wealthy members of us that are white.

[391] So I get the deplorable history of us, and I bet it's really hard to be sympathetic to us.

[392] But there was an English TV show, and they put 10, 10 -year -old little girls in a house for a week.

[393] And then they put 10 -year -old little boys in a house for a week, totally unsupervised.

[394] they taught all of them how to cook before they got in there.

[395] Within day one, one of the little girls that established herself as the cook.

[396] She made them dinner.

[397] Another girl put on a fashion show.

[398] Now, a few of them bounced out, the girls.

[399] The boys never cooked.

[400] They only ate cereal.

[401] The house, it was a tear down when they were done.

[402] Yeah, the garage was on fire and the dog was pregnant.

[403] Yes.

[404] And they had divided into two warring factions and then a third one splintered off.

[405] And I'm just looking at that, again, as an anthropologist, go, okay, some sympathy is warranted.

[406] What we are biologically designed to do, what our role has been, which is kind of not existing anymore, what it takes a little boy to become a participant in this complicated society versus what it takes a little girl to become competent.

[407] But I mean, the reason there's anger is despite that, men run the world.

[408] Oh, I know.

[409] So that's where there's an injustice, where it feels like, wait, wait, wait, wait, but they can't even cook a meal, but they're in charge of me. The patriarchy is completely unfair.

[410] It needs to not be a patriarchy.

[411] I acknowledge all that.

[412] The sympathy I'm trying to find for young men is, I think what they have to go through in order to become peaceful members of our society is much greater.

[413] I think boys are fucking wild.

[414] When I started talking about the issues facing young men about two years ago, I got enormous hostility.

[415] And you could understand it.

[416] Well, you guys have given a 400.

[417] hundred -year head start, all of a sudden your hair is on fire because now that women are finally getting what they deserve, you're all of a sudden advocating for social change.

[418] And a lot of people accuse you as saying, oh, men are lonely.

[419] You're saying that women have an obligation to service men.

[420] I'm like, no, that's not something I'm saying at all.

[421] Most of my friends in college are having sex with other men.

[422] It's just that when it was 60 -40 male, female in college entrance, we decided to have affirmative action for women and level up women.

[423] And I think that was the right thing to do.

[424] The education system appears to be biased against men.

[425] The labor market appears to be biased against women.

[426] Because when you have 17 % female CEOs, Jordan Peterson would argue, well, the quality of opportunity is not a quality of outcome.

[427] When it's 17%, it is a quality of opportunity.

[428] And they'll back into this notion that, oh, women are smarter.

[429] They don't want to be CEOs.

[430] It's a tough job.

[431] I'm like, oh, that's bullshit.

[432] A lot of women would like to have these positions of power.

[433] But both men and women, especially in the U .S., despite the fact that women have been graduating at greater numbers from college for 40 years, only 27 % of our elected leaders are female because both men and women have an unconscious bias where they conflate height and depth of voice with leadership qualities.

[434] And it's not only true among men, it's true among women.

[435] So even though, technically speaking, we should just have more women in our elected roles.

[436] Show me a woman who's five with three and really smart and has great EQ, hello school board president.

[437] Show me a guy that's six two with a good voice and good hair with 105 IQ.

[438] Hello, Senator.

[439] We have very much an unconscious body.

[440] where we conflate traditional male physical attributes with leadership, and we need to modulate that.

[441] Now, having said that, under the age of 30, women have not only closed a wage gap, they are now making more money in urban areas than men.

[442] And then you look at the stats, three times more likely to overdose, men, four times more likely to kill themselves, men, 12 times more likely to be incarcerated, suffer from depression.

[443] There is a real crisis among young men.

[444] And the way I see it, the first thing we've got to do is acknowledge that advocating for men isn't a zero -sum game.

[445] It doesn't mean you're not a feminist.

[446] You know who wants more economically and emotionally viable men?

[447] Women.

[448] Definitely.

[449] I talk to a lot of women who say, where are the good men?

[450] And the way I see it, we want to figure out the programs, the fathering, the mentoring, and the acknowledging that men and women, at least initially, males and females, are different.

[451] Such that I like the saying that Richard Reeves, who wrote this wonderful book, Boys to Men, you want someone who's invaluable in a shipwreck and acceptable at a dance.

[452] I think there's a lot of things that can be done.

[453] I think we need more vocational programs.

[454] I think we need more third spaces where men and women can meet and fall in love.

[455] We need a massive increase in the number of freshman seats so we can have more women, more people of color, and a lot more men going to college, which is still a great on ramp to the middle class and for emotional maturation.

[456] But I would argue on almost every statistic under the age of 30, it would be difficult to find a cohort that has fallen further fast.

[457] than young men.

[458] Yeah, you said, what do the most dangerous countries in the world all have in common?

[459] It's simple.

[460] They have a preponderance of young, broken, alone men.

[461] Critics, when I say that, will say, well, all you're doing is you're prepackaging violence when you say that young men who don't get opportunities are going to become violent.

[462] I understand that.

[463] That's a valid criticism.

[464] But when you hear about a mass shooter, you know who it is before you know who it is.

[465] You know it's not a soccer mom.

[466] The guy who attacks Salman Rosti on stage, that wasn't about the fatwa.

[467] That was about a guy.

[468] living in his mother's basement, who wasn't attaching to work, wasn't attaching to relationships, wasn't attaching to school.

[469] We have to figure out a way that more people have economic viability.

[470] And I don't even want to talk about affirmative action for men because I just think it's too politically charged.

[471] What I think we need is to stop the economic policies that transfer money from young people to old people.

[472] Forty years ago, the percentage of wealth is a percentage of GDP controlled by people under the age of 40 was 19%.

[473] Now it's nine.

[474] We have basically decided to transfer a trillion and a half dollars from young people to old people in the form of Social Security.

[475] And this is the wealthiest generation in the history of the planet.

[476] So Social Security is essentially an upgrade from Carnival to Crystal Cruises for Nana and Popup.

[477] And meanwhile, young people have seen their wealth cut in half.

[478] And so when you have less money and you have men not going to college, you have less opportunity, you have more isolation from COVID, you have men who give up, they go on day, apps.

[479] 50 men on Tinder, 50 women, 46 of the women show all of their attention of four men, leaving 46 men vying for the attention of four women, which reinforces their notion that they're not worthy, and they should just stay home and vape and play video games and watch porn.

[480] And by that time they hit their mid -20s, they're totally unviable economically and emotionally.

[481] And we end up with a society where the elemental foundation of any society is relationships doesn't have that pillar.

[482] People don't have as many friends.

[483] They don't have mates.

[484] They don't have confidence.

[485] One out of three men under the age of 30 has not had sex in the last year.

[486] And people who are the term sex and their brain fires all different ways.

[487] But think of sex is just a key step to establishing a relationship.

[488] And if young people don't have the opportunities, the spaces, the wherewithal, and the mojo to establish relationships, I think it's a real threat to society because young men, when they don't have guardrails, become really shitty citizens.

[489] They're more prone to misogynistic content online.

[490] They're more prone to the Andrew Tates of the world, believing that it's not their fault, that it's women's fault.

[491] And that's when you know a guy has really lost a script is when he starts blaming women.

[492] That's when a guy knows he's really failed.

[493] They're less likely to believe in climate change.

[494] They're more likely to be prone to nationalist slash fascist content.

[495] I mean, it's the same thing throughout history.

[496] Whenever you have too many guys with no guardrails, no economic prospects, they're like, I don't have a hell of a lot to lose.

[497] Violence doesn't sound like it has a lot of bad outcomes for me because look at my life.

[498] Look at my prospects.

[499] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[500] What's up, guys?

[501] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[502] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[503] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[504] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[505] And I don't mean just friends.

[506] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[507] The list goes on.

[508] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[509] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app.

[510] or wherever you get your podcast.

[511] We've all been there.

[512] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[513] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[514] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[515] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[516] Hey, listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[517] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[518] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[519] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[520] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[521] The online dating stuff is really fascinating.

[522] live in that era.

[523] I'm not really aware of how all the apps work, but I'm inclined to think I wouldn't have performed nearly as well with a photo of myself as I did chatting with women at bars.

[524] I know intuitively I would have a much different experience dating.

[525] I just think so much of it has to do with teaching very young boys, like kids, that they're more powerful in groups.

[526] I think we teach young boys that they need to be the leader or they need to be on top and you don't teach girls that you teach them to have little play dates and girls nights and all of these things are built around a group and we need to do that for boys I think that would help a lot with the isolation factor once they're older well and even how they act within those groups when they're in them for you guys you're getting a lot of empathy in your sharing and you're unloading It's cathartic.

[527] Even when you get a group of boys, the boy's not going like, oh, my stepdad's beating my mom.

[528] You wouldn't say that even though three of the eight of us, our stepdad's were beating our mom.

[529] Because they've been told they need to be tough.

[530] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[531] There's no space for...

[532] Exactly.

[533] Instead of communication is actually strength.

[534] Yes.

[535] 100%.

[536] Yeah, so you said something really interesting.

[537] And it's dangerous territory because whenever you acknowledge there's loosely speaking differences between boys and girls or males and females, you open yourself up to people making a cartoon your comments saying that it's discriminatory and coming after you.

[538] And there's a lot of evidence that boys and girls, most of them, are different on certain general levels.

[539] And when you talk about mating and online, there's three things that almost every study points to for what women find attractive in a mate.

[540] Number one, and we don't like to say it because it sounds grass, is resources.

[541] And it all comes down to an ability to protect them and their children while they're vulnerable.

[542] And it makes sense, right?

[543] Is this guy strong enough to protect me from outside threats and my children.

[544] I'm here to protect the children, so I need to find a mate who can protect me and find resources.

[545] In a capitalist economy, your ability to protect and provide kind of comes down to money.

[546] Number two is intelligence.

[547] And this is where you probably scored and where I sort of scored, but probably not as well as you.

[548] I won most comical in the ninth grade.

[549] Humor is the fastest way to communicate intelligence.

[550] Someone who is funny, a woman immediately perceives them as intelligent and a good mate.

[551] And then the third thing is kindness.

[552] It doesn't matter how rich you are.

[553] It doesn't matter how smart you are.

[554] If you're an asshole over the long term, people will turn off of you because they'll think this is not going to be a good mate.

[555] But online, a lot of the vibe, the pheromones, the body language, the wonderful things about human sexuality disappear.

[556] It reduces down to, did this guy go to MIT?

[557] Is he working for KKR?

[558] And did his Rolex accidentally slip into the picture.

[559] Other than that, I don't care.

[560] And guys are also one -dimensional.

[561] They're mostly about looks, but their filter is much less fine.

[562] Yeah, they have a wider net.

[563] Yeah, she looks nice.

[564] Swipe right.

[565] Oh, she's cute.

[566] Swipe right.

[567] Women have much finer filters because the downside of sex is much more costly for them.

[568] But when you have, basically, everyone has access to everyone, women are able to implement those filters, and there's no humor, there's no vibe, there's no smell.

[569] Kindness isn't quite obvious.

[570] Yeah, exactly.

[571] It gets reduced down to very, very basic things.

[572] Online dating, if you apply the genie coefficient, if it were an economy, the inequality would be equal to income inequality in Venezuela.

[573] It is that unequal.

[574] And the flip side of that is the top 10 % of men in terms of attractiveness are getting 80 % of the opportunity, which results in what I refer to as Porsche polygamy.

[575] And that is, it does not lead to good behavior.

[576] It does not and send them to establish long -term commitments.

[577] Why on earth would I settle down when all I need to do is go out or hit the apps and everyone wants me because I'm at Google and I'm successful and I'm signaling all the right things that a two -dimensional environment signal?

[578] It's weird that what it ended up becoming is the same model we would see in Silverback Gorillas, right, where you have like two males that have access to everybody and all the subordinate males have no access.

[579] Or chimps, this platform devourable.

[580] evolved it into more of a hierarchical mate selection of group primates, you know?

[581] Like, that's crazy that this super advanced technology.

[582] No one could imagine ended up creating 10 having access to 80, which is the most fundamental.

[583] Yeah, that's wild.

[584] What I was going to say that's anecdotal and will probably get me in trouble, people think it's xenophobic in other things.

[585] But I'm going to tell it to you because I think it's my explanation.

[586] So I'm super into motorsports.

[587] I love off -roading.

[588] I love motorcycles.

[589] I love all of it.

[590] I follow a ton of accounts on Instagram from Saudi Arabia and the UAE because they have huge sand dunes and they're very into drifting.

[591] They're into motorsports there.

[592] And you see the craziest things you can imagine on these accounts.

[593] In fact, when I was just in the sand dunes, you can't get into a conversation with Americans and it not come up how insane the Saudis are with these sandrails.

[594] They're jumping over dunes.

[595] They're getting airlifted all the time.

[596] The drifters are drifting at 110 miles an hour instead of 60 guys are changing tires on jeeps that are riding on two wheels on the highway.

[597] It's insane.

[598] By our standards, there's a death wish.

[599] And I'm like, what you're seeing is young men who can't go to a bar and meet women.

[600] There's nothing else to do but impress one another.

[601] And you just got to go farther and farther and farther.

[602] And you're not connected with a female.

[603] And you're not distracted by pursuing a mate.

[604] And that's what you get.

[605] Yeah, but we all need guardrails.

[606] And I would say especially young men need guardrails.

[607] You know, it was a guardrail for me?

[608] It was Morgan Stanley.

[609] I had to get up every morning at 7 .30, which kind of put mostly an end to me smoking and drinking every night.

[610] When I got my first girlfriend, she's like, if you want to continue to have sex with me, you need to get your shit together.

[611] And that was very motivating for me. Sure.

[612] My mom is like, you got to get your act together.

[613] I've got to retire soon.

[614] Young men need guardrails.

[615] It's so hard to read the label from inside the bottle.

[616] And it's true of women, too.

[617] We are so much more informed when we have people who edit us, curate us, and quite frankly, especially with young men, kind of keep us in line.

[618] Put on a clean shirt, blow dry your goddamn hair.

[619] Young men desperately need that.

[620] And circling way back to not having a male in your life, what the study show is that two people in the household are the key.

[621] And it can be two women.

[622] It can be two men.

[623] It can be a grandmother and a daughter.

[624] So it doesn't necessarily need to be a male and a female, the heteronormative.

[625] You need zone coverage.

[626] You need people who are irrationally passionate around this kid's well -being.

[627] And so Dan Quayle was right.

[628] Kids are single mothers don't have as good outcomes.

[629] Where he was wrong is it can be two women.

[630] What's interesting, though, is daughters of single parents have similar outcomes.

[631] It's sons of single parents that fall off the rails for some reason.

[632] Monica, do you have kids?

[633] No, I don't.

[634] I'm single.

[635] So we should ask you about dating apps.

[636] You said that's so defeated.

[637] I'm not.

[638] In fact, I was thinking earlier in this conversation when you were talking about the apps, so many of the most amazing women I know are single.

[639] I'm noticing it more and more now, including Liz.

[640] And you mean by choice or not by choice?

[641] It's both.

[642] It's not by choice in that we want partners.

[643] But it is by choice.

[644] Exactly.

[645] Exactly.

[646] And that there's no need to settle.

[647] And like you said, women look at, you know, MIT, Rolex, whatever.

[648] Men are not doing that from what I can tell.

[649] They are not looking at, oh, they have this amazing job.

[650] They're not.

[651] If anything, they're probably threatened by an amazing job.

[652] Exactly.

[653] Then it comes with this other element of like you've got to kind of bring yourself down for them.

[654] And who has time or energy for that?

[655] So it's just so complicated.

[656] But I guess the thing that I brought up earlier, when I say it's hard to have sympathy for us.

[657] I do have sympathy, by the way.

[658] What scares me is that, again, well -deserved the lack of sympathy.

[659] Yet, I think it's not very pragmatic to assume somehow this is going to fix itself, A, B, that some 14 -year -old boy is going to be able to decide to be a great member of society.

[660] So it's like, okay, great, maybe we don't deserve it.

[661] Given that, how do we want society to function?

[662] how dangerous to how many active shooters do we want you know all these things everyone deserves it it is society it's not each individual person i agree with that but it's like we got to do it right but i think in order to do it there has to be some level of compassion so that we can kind of mobilize and come up with plans and have some willingness to address it and some resources allocated for it but it seems crazy as you already pointed out like if you were to propose affirmative action in college for white men, that would be preposterous.

[663] I think it helps to just say, all right, everything changes when you're a parent and you have sons.

[664] You think about a 17 or a 19 -year -old male being raised by a single mother who doesn't have the skills or the biological maturity to compete against who he needs to compete with to get into a good college.

[665] His job prospects aren't very good.

[666] He's not valued by society.

[667] He goes on dating apps.

[668] He's not very attractive by traditional metrics.

[669] he's just shut out of the mating market and he's more prone to addiction in the academic world values attributes that young girls seem to be demonstrating more excellence and more ability biologically is that kid liable for the sins of his father and his grandfather i mean yeah his father and his grandfather had it easier than they should have but should that kid be paying the price walk down the hall of n yu girls and consulting women of investment banking there are all these groups golden seeds, angel investors for women.

[670] There are all these female -centered empowerment groups, and it's fantastic.

[671] There's nothing for young men.

[672] The feeling is you're starting way ahead of us, and every metric shows they are not.

[673] Also, there is something for them.

[674] It's Jordan Peterson and a rash of other folks.

[675] So, you know, if we're not going to provide some other one, guess what, someone else will step in and put a voice to the frustration and then lead them in a direction that I I certainly don't want men going.

[676] It gets tricky when someone is privileged and has handed a golden ticket.

[677] And I'm not talking about white people in poverty or abuse or any of that.

[678] A person with parents who do well, they're handed a pretty good situation and they don't do anything with it.

[679] I have less sympathy for that.

[680] And I have less willingness to give those people programs than I do for people who just don't have the opportunity or have been marginalized for quite a long time.

[681] I think we're saying the same thing.

[682] But the stronger indicator now for a kid's success is his parent's economic weight class as opposed to the gender.

[683] You'd much rather be a woman from a middle or upper income home.

[684] The group that's under indexing in college is white.

[685] males.

[686] Relative to their population, they're the ones under indexing right now.

[687] There are schools at NYU that if we were totally admissions blind, it would not only be 70 % female, it would be 70 % Asian female.

[688] The Asian American community has been so outstanding at prepping their kids for the attributes and the skills and the tests that colleges want.

[689] And the question is, all right, do we need to have viable young men?

[690] And I think most people come down, yeah, we need an ecosystem.

[691] And so let's move to solutions.

[692] I think what you got to do is make a massive investment in young people.

[693] The two biggest tax deductions in America are capital gains, tax deduction and mortgage interest rate.

[694] Who owns stocks and assets?

[695] Old people.

[696] Who owns homes?

[697] Old people.

[698] Who rents and makes their money and salary current income?

[699] Young people.

[700] Everything we do is a subtle transfer of wealth from young people to old people.

[701] And by the way, what has accelerated faster than their asset, cost, education.

[702] Why?

[703] Because the baby boomers already got their degree.

[704] I already got my degree, right?

[705] So everyone wants to pull up the bridge behind them because we have entered into this exclusionary rejection as bullshit luxury culture where we're like, okay, once I have a degree from UCLA, make it harder to get a degree because that means the value of my degree goes up.

[706] Once I have a house, show up to the local architectural review board and make it impossible for new housing developments to be built because that'll take the value of my house up.

[707] Once I have a company, weaponize governments such that no other tech company can emerge.

[708] We're not investing in churn.

[709] We're not giving young people the same opportunities my generation had.

[710] And the result is the group that's been hit hardest on the margin has mostly been men.

[711] And what's the answer?

[712] Do you level up men?

[713] No, you level up young people.

[714] You double the amount of vocational training.

[715] You triple the number of freshman seats.

[716] You stop this bullshit tax system that just transfers money from young people to old people.

[717] will find their way.

[718] What we need is, in my opinion, kind of a martial act around young people.

[719] I bought my first house when I was 29.

[720] What young person can buy a house at 29 right now?

[721] Yeah.

[722] Just realistically, what 29 -year -old and what city is going to be able to buy a house right now?

[723] My education at UCLA, I don't know, was when you went to X, it was $1 ,200 a year.

[724] Yeah, I was $3 ,800, but yeah, free, basically.

[725] I got Pell Grants that could cover most.

[726] I had to work during the summer, but that was fine.

[727] A kid like me would never even get in, much less be able to afford it.

[728] Anyways, I think the answer is, one, acknowledging that we just need young, prosperous, viable, emotionally and economic generation, both men and women.

[729] And the way we get there is to a massive investment in young people.

[730] Because once we get into identity politics around, okay, dudes get this, I just think it's going to create so many side conversations.

[731] Yeah, that's a non -starter.

[732] Okay, I want to transition quickly.

[733] I'm so glad we got to talk about men that much because I will say, I don't see a lot of you and I on the left or center, and that concerns me. So I don't see a lot of men embracing masculinity and embracing vulnerability and embracing honesty and embracing service.

[734] There's not a lot of us.

[735] So I was watching a lot of you this morning, and I am very drawn to you.

[736] If I'm a young man, you're not going to shake the fact that I want the guy giving me this information to seem strong and to seem competent in this world I'm living in.

[737] So it's very encouraging to me to learn that 75 % of your listeners of your podcast are male.

[738] Mine are mostly female for whatever that's worth.

[739] It's even down a lot, though.

[740] It's almost equal now.

[741] Oh, it is?

[742] Oh, that's good.

[743] But I see you as a brother who wants to help men and is giving room to be masculine in the most generic lift weights.

[744] let's go off -roading and also is making room to be vulnerable and have emotions and admit failures.

[745] And so I'm thrilled to learn of your existence.

[746] Thanks for saying that.

[747] That means a lot.

[748] Yeah, I really have enjoyed everything I watched of you thus far.

[749] I wanted to quickly get some fun things in because, first of all, the show I'm referencing, the Professor G. Show, which is your podcast, you talk about business money tech.

[750] If you're listening now and you would think that probably Scott's a social scientist, no, he's in the business school at NYU.

[751] Marketing God.

[752] The thing I found most exciting watching you is your provocative predictions at South by Southwest.

[753] What a blast.

[754] You're such a great public speaker.

[755] Let's talk about slowing time down because it's a big fascination of mine.

[756] My favorite books are these biographies of the original patrician class like John D. Rockefeller.

[757] I love Titan.

[758] I love the Cornelius Vanderbilt book.

[759] I love all these original guys.

[760] They all get the thing they were trying to get.

[761] And then the rest of their life is dedicated to trying to live long.

[762] And I definitely have been lucky enough to have been on that trajectory myself where it's like, I've shored up everything I was worried about and I have this family I love.

[763] And now it's like, how the fuck do I stay here longer?

[764] And how do I slow down the experience?

[765] So I just was curious what your current approaches to that are.

[766] Yeah, I think a lot about this because, you know, I don't remember really much about my 20s and 30s other than some experiences with friends and partying and they're just working all the time because I was very focused on economics.

[767] and all of a sudden, I used to be the youngest guy in every room, and now I'm the oldest guy.

[768] It was never the same age.

[769] And I'm 58, and decades have become years, years have become seasons, and it's just going way too fast.

[770] And we're drawn to things that are scarce, and the ultimate illusion of scarcity is your kids.

[771] You know, I go away for a couple weeks on business, and I come back and I check into my son, my 12 -year -old, I'm like, Jesus, he's grown.

[772] Right.

[773] And, I mean, I don't know if you guys get those Apple things, those Hallmark Channel things, where they have these photo reminders, of this is you on the beach three years ago.

[774] And I'm like, that 12 -year -old boy I had is gone.

[775] He's never coming back.

[776] It's going so fast that I find it disturbing.

[777] And they say that time, I mean, a few things.

[778] One, because we didn't live past the age of 45 until about 100 years ago, we have difficult time as a species, even processing time after the age of 45.

[779] And supposedly time slows down as a function of the different things in your life, like change.

[780] So when you're a five -year -old, everything's changing every day.

[781] You know, everything stands out and everything feels different.

[782] and then you get into kind of a rote routine as you get older, you get settled, you get comfortable, and you do kind of the same things professionally, personally, same person, same mate, same situation, and time just starts flying.

[783] So I'm trying to mix it up, everything from mixing up my workouts, we moved to London.

[784] I thought, okay, that'll be different.

[785] If you live in two cities over 20 years, it slows it down as opposed to one city over 20 years.

[786] But I'm up for any ideas because it is going frighteningly fast.

[787] was Monica's age yesterday.

[788] I'm going to be my dad's age tomorrow.

[789] This afternoon.

[790] It's going so fast, but I'm trying to do different things and mix up my series of experiences to try and slow stuff down.

[791] And also something I'm not good at is just being in the moment.

[792] I've been so future focus my whole life.

[793] Yeah.

[794] Because I've been so ambitious around relevance and economic security that I never actually just slow down and say, okay, look around, look at this park, look at your dog, look at your partner, just try and enjoy the moment.

[795] I'm not good at that.

[796] Okay, here's one thing I was concerned about.

[797] I'm learning about you.

[798] I know you're teaching a semester there.

[799] I know you moved to London.

[800] I know that you're a beast in the marketing world.

[801] I know you're giving many speeches around the country.

[802] What happens in the absence of all this stuff?

[803] Do you think about that?

[804] Do you ever think about retirement and then maybe in the relation of slowing time?

[805] down when you're like moving from project to project to project, that also can become a big accelerated blur.

[806] How are you managing all the many things you do?

[807] And do you think that you'll be correcting it or is it great?

[808] You love doing this many things at once?

[809] I see how fast the end is coming and I see that as liberating.

[810] One of my sources of strength and perspective is my atheism.

[811] I know that at some point I'm going to look into my son's eyes and know that our relationship is coming to an end.

[812] And I find it liberating because, you know, one of the things that people regret most at end of life, my colleague Adam Alter did some studies around this, is, you know, they wish they'd lived the life.

[813] They wanted to live as opposed to the life that their parents or society wanted.

[814] They wish they'd stayed in touch with friends.

[815] But more than anything, they wish they'd been less harsh on themselves.

[816] They wish they'd been more forgiving.

[817] And it's been liberating for me to know that when I do something stupid or I screw up or I lose a bunch of money on an investment or I just fuck up, which I do a lot.

[818] I forgive myself recognizing I'm going to be dead soon, and all the people I'm worried about what they think of me are also going to be dead very soon.

[819] And I know that sounds macabra, but it frees you, if you will.

[820] And I also try to be honest, back to your question, I have an addiction.

[821] I think we all have a certain level of addiction in our life.

[822] I don't know if it's sex or online shopping or trans fats or THC.

[823] We all have a certain amount of addiction, I think, goodness.

[824] My addiction is affirmation from strangers.

[825] Oh, same.

[826] And it's really pathetic.

[827] I care about what Dog Girl 301A thinks about me on Twitter.

[828] When I have a book come out, I check the Amazon rank like every other hour.

[829] And I don't need the money.

[830] I always want more money, but I don't really need it at this point.

[831] I'm very blessed that way.

[832] But I am desperate for strangers to affirm me. And I'm trying to work on that.

[833] I've decided to stop posting to Twitter for a while because that feedback affirmation loop is rewired my brain.

[834] And I find, you know, you are where you pay attention.

[835] And I become terse and prone to clapping.

[836] back and I'm like, I don't want to be that person.

[837] I want to be more gracious.

[838] I want to be the person that doesn't need.

[839] If I get cut off in traffic, I don't need to speed up and flip that person.

[840] I just don't need to do that shit.

[841] I don't know what's going on in that person's life.

[842] I'm trying to wean myself off of the affirmation of other people.

[843] I'm trying to really enjoy my family and my sons and observe them.

[844] I think I found something in advocating for young men because it's something that's not easy to do and it's something I relate to.

[845] And I don't know about you, Dax, but I had so many strange men take an interest in my life.

[846] My mom's boyfriends that she went out with for a year and then broke up, they stayed in touch with me. It sent me a skateboard for Christmas.

[847] When I was 13, I met a stockbroker who I would call every day from Emerson Jr. High School, and he would talk to me about my 16 shares of Columbia Picture Stock, and he'd say, the stock's up because close encounters of the third kind is a hit.

[848] The stock's down because Casey's shadow is a bomb.

[849] You know, this guy, like, invested in my life.

[850] I'm still in touch with that guy, yeah, I'm still kind of addicted to affirmation.

[851] I'm still kind of addicted or insecure around money.

[852] But at least being aware of it helps me a lot.

[853] And studying and reading some of the stuff you read and listening to you guys, every study across every geography, across every ethnic group, across every income class, if you think about happiness, right, we're all doing this so we can feel something.

[854] And ideally we want to feel happiness.

[855] And happiness is something I struggle with.

[856] My blessings do not foot to my mood.

[857] And every study comes down to the same thing.

[858] that happiness is a function of the number of deep and meaningful relationships you have.

[859] And I really work at that because I don't naturally make friends.

[860] I'm naturally an introvert.

[861] I will naturally opt for staying home and doing an edible and watching Netflix.

[862] That is kind of my peaceful state.

[863] So I'm trying to force myself to establish new relationships, to be open to relationships, to listen more.

[864] But I think about this stuff a lot because it just feels like time is falling and it keeps going faster and faster.

[865] Yeah.

[866] And there's no second shot.

[867] Okay, Scott, that was a perfect segue.

[868] We need to be bros. I'm dealing with the exact same issue.

[869] The endless approval junkie in me is just like, when are you just going to give it to yourself?

[870] Also, the like fear of financial insecurity, despite hitting all the markers I was certain would give me zero fear of financial insecurity.

[871] These are all my hangups as well.

[872] So we must connect and bro out and form a support group.

[873] We can affirm each other maybe.

[874] That's, we'll, we'll start small.

[875] I want your workout routine.

[876] Oh, we can live together and shoot each other up with tea.

[877] This could be great.

[878] There you go.

[879] Such a pleasure to talk to you.

[880] I hope everyone checks out.

[881] You have two very successful, great podcasts, the Pivot podcast and the Prof G show.

[882] Also, enroll at NYU.

[883] You might have Professor Galloway walk you through marketing.

[884] I was listening to a random podcast and this woman was on there talking about her schooling.

[885] And she said, I was at NYU, and I got to take Scott Galloway's class.

[886] And then the podcaster was like, what?

[887] I was like, what is this?

[888] Who is this person?

[889] Oh, wow.

[890] Yeah.

[891] Go on.

[892] There's your affirmation.

[893] Yeah, we'll give you some affirmation.

[894] Where are you right now?

[895] You guys are in L .A.?

[896] Yes, yes, Los Feles.

[897] Oh, no, I cease to live on Harvard and Franklin.

[898] And I come to L .A., so my agent can tell me that my BIP is not being turned into a movie.

[899] But I hole up at the Beverly Hills Hotel and love it.

[900] I've never made a dollar in Los Angeles, but I love coming there.

[901] I just have a great time there.

[902] I think it's fantastic.

[903] Do you know, Bukowski lived one street over from Franklin and Harvard?

[904] Oh, yeah?

[905] Does that interest you?

[906] I was a huge Bukowski fan as a youth.

[907] Yeah.

[908] No, okay.

[909] Well, Scott, great luck with everything.

[910] It was a pleasure meeting you.

[911] Yeah, likewise.

[912] And I'm rooting for you to spread the message about these wayward males.

[913] There you go.

[914] Well, thanks, Dax.

[915] Thanks, Monica.

[916] Congrats on all your success and your good work.

[917] Thank you so much.

[918] Take care.

[919] We'll talk again.

[920] All right.

[921] Thanks, guys.

[922] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[923] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate, Monica Padman.

[924] Get the mic a little closer to your jowls.

[925] Is this?

[926] You want me like right here?

[927] Oh, that sounds good.

[928] Is it tickle?

[929] Yeah.

[930] It doesn't.

[931] I feel it.

[932] Gitch, get you go.

[933] This is what got me married, guys, right here.

[934] You had an auditory -only relationship with Hayes, didn't you, for about three years?

[935] I could bring it right to climax with...

[936] Mm -hmm.

[937] So we've got a guest in the attic.

[938] Yeah.

[939] It's often talked about...

[940] Yeah.

[941] Sweet baby Huey from...

[942] That's right.

[943] From the volunteer state of Tennessee.

[944] Y 'all.

[945] I'm trying to think of what stories they've heard.

[946] Oh, the famous Sperry story.

[947] That was the most recent one.

[948] Sure.

[949] That was on Scarlet.

[950] Charlotte Johansson's episode, you met Scarlett Johansson.

[951] I did, I felt it.

[952] Tell us more.

[953] I was moved.

[954] Okay.

[955] I don't really want to get into all the details.

[956] Oh, that's fine.

[957] That's fine.

[958] I'm married.

[959] And you're a southern gentleman.

[960] And I'm a gentleman.

[961] I don't kiss and tell.

[962] That's right.

[963] And climate.

[964] We're in a certain climate.

[965] Right.

[966] It would not be, it wouldn't be an ally.

[967] No. No, no. My ally ship.

[968] So Monica.

[969] Yeah.

[970] How are you doing this morning?

[971] Fine.

[972] A little flustered.

[973] Tell me why.

[974] Well, I woke up...

[975] Your skin looks nice.

[976] Thank you.

[977] It doesn't.

[978] It does.

[979] Can you just accept the compliment?

[980] No, because it doesn't.

[981] I guess we should talk about this.

[982] Well, it's a big issue right now.

[983] It is.

[984] It's a big update.

[985] Right.

[986] Talk about TMI.

[987] Sorry, Huey.

[988] I'm not interested, so it's fine.

[989] Okay, you can just tune out.

[990] I'll tune out.

[991] Huey still prays in a chapel that separates the men and the women.

[992] Two doors, two separate doors.

[993] Oh, wow.

[994] Oh, that makes sense to me. That's how God intended.

[995] Regroup in the parking lot for the cookout.

[996] You're going to need to see the women then.

[997] Somebody's got to make the potato salad.

[998] That's right, that's right.

[999] Bring them back into the full when it's time to eat.

[1000] Okay, so Monica.

[1001] Okay, so prep, I froze my eggs.

[1002] Congratulations.

[1003] Thank you.

[1004] It didn't go well.

[1005] What do you mean?

[1006] It didn't go well?

[1007] I was only able to retrieve two viable eggs.

[1008] Okay.

[1009] Which is not great.

[1010] And what's a, just tell me. what an average number would be?

[1011] I mean, ideal, they want 15 to 20 mature eggs.

[1012] We should maybe run a disclaimer before we proceed.

[1013] The main appeal of Huey as a friend is how offensive he is.

[1014] In fact, I could go through some of our texts to read you.

[1015] It's going to be an interesting edit for me. Hi, bye.

[1016] Like, a textbook example of one of these messages is from you saying, Well, I'm just going to find it.

[1017] You go ahead and start telling us about your, now that feels, yeah, that doesn't feel bad.

[1018] I apologize for that suggestion.

[1019] That's okay.

[1020] Okay, I'm going to see if I can find it.

[1021] It was you at the bar.

[1022] Oh, no, I got a laser TV and I'm never going back.

[1023] We also exchange a lot of tech stuff, whatever is in the marketplace.

[1024] Did you get a laser TV?

[1025] I didn't, but that one with the short throw front is so, you got to get that.

[1026] I'm going to get that.

[1027] Okay, to commune with God, I hope.

[1028] This was when I was in church.

[1029] right?

[1030] You often text me from the pulpit.

[1031] Because God reminds you of Dax.

[1032] They remind me, you know, whenever I'm thinking about do I want to go to heaven or do I want to go to hell, I immediately think about hell and Dax.

[1033] Sure.

[1034] And is that the only silver lining if you end up there?

[1035] Is that you know I'll be there?

[1036] And we can talk about historical fiction.

[1037] Or rather historical.

[1038] Like Christianity, is that historical nonfiction?

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] Do you go to church every week?

[1041] We're probably twice a week, or twice a month.

[1042] Twice a month, okay.

[1043] Kids that, you know, Hatton and Alden have gotten old enough now.

[1044] They're four and three where they can go to Sunday school.

[1045] Oh.

[1046] You know, and they like that.

[1047] What happens there?

[1048] My memory of Sunday school is not great.

[1049] Stock tips.

[1050] There's a lot of insider trade.

[1051] Well, I go to a rich person's church.

[1052] Well, of course.

[1053] Oh, my God.

[1054] Right.

[1055] It's still coat and tie.

[1056] Sure.

[1057] You know, that whole, yeah, it is.

[1058] And then brunch at the club afterwards and that whole thing.

[1059] It's great.

[1060] It sounds like you're making it up and you're not.

[1061] It is, it is the God, from my mouth to God's ears.

[1062] I know, I know.

[1063] The club.

[1064] Uh -huh.

[1065] Dax loved the club.

[1066] They did love the club.

[1067] I know, and I...

[1068] It was the whole thing on here.

[1069] Yeah, I poked.

[1070] I pushed back on that.

[1071] Why?

[1072] The exclusivity?

[1073] Because he's so anti the club.

[1074] He's not, though.

[1075] He's not, though.

[1076] He's wearing $75 boxers or whatever.

[1077] You know, like...

[1078] Meandi.

[1079] Yeah, me and.

[1080] When you're wearing a $700 jogging suit, like you're not against a country club.

[1081] He looked at my Ricardo gear yesterday when he arrived because I had the matching hoodie sweatshirt on.

[1082] And he said, what is that thing?

[1083] About $1 ,400.

[1084] Did you tell them the truth?

[1085] Well, they are pricey.

[1086] Well, no, yes, it's a mixed bag.

[1087] So I said, well, this one was free.

[1088] Yes.

[1089] But I have bought a lot of them.

[1090] He's wearing $0 right now.

[1091] Yeah, he has $0 .0 on all time.

[1092] Okay, just as I scroll through our many, many texts, I'm reminded of some of the sweeter moments as I scroll through these texts.

[1093] There's a lot of, there's some text stuff as we've discussed.

[1094] There's some links to historical stuff.

[1095] And then there's just you asking my advice on growing a beard, which is very sweet and vulnerable.

[1096] Was that a hard text for you to send?

[1097] Yeah, because I don't, you know, I don't really like to accept the fact that I don't know the right answer.

[1098] That's for me as a male.

[1099] Yes.

[1100] You feel like you should just intuitively know what look you're supposed to have.

[1101] Right.

[1102] As a Christian conservative, it's hard for me not to know the answer to every question.

[1103] Anyways, I can't find the one I want to find, but a typical text from Huey is, I'm at a restaurant with my family.

[1104] Your terrible game shows playing in the corner of the bar and people are very excited about it.

[1105] All I can think is, oh my God, if you only knew how terrible these two people were, you would not watch this show.

[1106] That's your typical text from Huey.

[1107] Yeah.

[1108] I went to a wedding.

[1109] I went to a wedding.

[1110] I went to a wedding.

[1111] recently, where they did not, you know, the people that were there did not know that we were friends.

[1112] Right.

[1113] Best friends.

[1114] Best friends.

[1115] Let me change that.

[1116] Best friends.

[1117] And I walked up on two different conversations where they were just randomly talking about Dax or Kristen or something.

[1118] And the first one, it was upsetting.

[1119] But the first time it happened, it's annoying.

[1120] It's like, you know, the fly, they won't leave you alone when you're eating, you know, or something.

[1121] He's not even here and I have to deal with them.

[1122] Yeah, please.

[1123] The second one, I was like, okay, we're leaving.

[1124] Right, I'm not going to do this.

[1125] Sure.

[1126] I'm not doing this all the time.

[1127] I'm not, no, no. I know that sometimes people, because you guys are absorbed in the world of celebrity.

[1128] Just completely absorbed.

[1129] Self, yeah, I didn't want to go into that much depth.

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] But, yes, that's where I was headed.

[1132] I think that when you get to around normal Americans.

[1133] Uh -huh.

[1134] Good American.

[1135] Good, normal, patriotic, god -fearing Americans.

[1136] Yeah.

[1137] That they're fascinated by people like you and Prince Harry, right?

[1138] Sure.

[1139] Right?

[1140] I love Prince Harry.

[1141] Who wouldn't?

[1142] Yeah.

[1143] He's gorgeous.

[1144] Full head of hair.

[1145] Well.

[1146] He's kind of losing it.

[1147] I wouldn't say full head of hair.

[1148] He has hair, but I think it's a battle.

[1149] I do too.

[1150] Okay.

[1151] But as a bald man, I didn't want to throw that stone at him.

[1152] Right.

[1153] He has a full head of hair compared to say me. Got it.

[1154] to you he's got a lot of hair he's very he's very handsome and fit is he okay he's very muscular people are just fascinated by you even even wealthy people who have other things to occupy their time because i only know wealthy people really yeah the club the club the the business my the chamber of commerce church i go to right right that whole thing right right and i think that i think that i think that it really is a lot of chamber of commerce.

[1155] C of C people, we call them.

[1156] Not Church of Christ, Chamber of Commerce.

[1157] Oh, wow, though.

[1158] Yeah.

[1159] That works well.

[1160] I'm sure I told you this part of going to that club, Monica, that he is the most popular person at the club by like a factor of 10.

[1161] Like, as you're walking on the stairs, people are like nudging each other.

[1162] Oh, here comes Huey.

[1163] It's like back in Walmart.

[1164] Well, I think, okay, I think I just cracked it.

[1165] That's why you have such disdain for our celebrity.

[1166] because it's rivaling yours.

[1167] That's what it is.

[1168] It does.

[1169] It's oppressive.

[1170] It's like, can I not have this?

[1171] Yeah.

[1172] I paid for this.

[1173] I paid a lot of money.

[1174] A lot of money.

[1175] Do they call you Huey there?

[1176] Mr. Estes.

[1177] Okay.

[1178] Or sir.

[1179] That's what I was checking.

[1180] Yeah.

[1181] It didn't seem right.

[1182] It felt way too jovial.

[1183] They call me Houston.

[1184] Okay.

[1185] No one calls you Huey?

[1186] No. Really?

[1187] Yeah.

[1188] Well, Jed does?

[1189] He does.

[1190] Yes.

[1191] But, no, everybody calls me Huey, but I see that as a line.

[1192] of that we don't go in there that's informal i don't shit where i eat okay okay and am i i can't curse no actually no no it's a pretty what if we drew a line at shit yeah exactly yeah yeah but it bothers me when i don't like because if you if you open you know how it is if you become friends with the guy that cleans your pool then he stops cleaning your pool i didn't know that oh it that happens okay i had to get rid of the pool i took the pool out You can't become friends with, it's too personal.

[1193] But that's great.

[1194] Let's assume this is all true, but even though it's not.

[1195] But maybe it is.

[1196] You can be friendly.

[1197] But would you rather, instead of confronting this relationship that is blurred to the point of non -participation in his duties as your pool cleaner, your fear of that confrontation would be so much you'd rather tear your pool out of the ground?

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] Okay.

[1200] Yeah, I would just like take it out.

[1201] And then when Brian gets there, you're like, you just go, fuck, I don't know what happened in the pool.

[1202] Yeah, something, it froze.

[1203] Yeah, because it becomes harder.

[1204] I've done this in work, usually because I'll hire somebody to help me work for something professionally.

[1205] And then I usually only like the work with people I like.

[1206] Sure.

[1207] And then you get them involved.

[1208] And then you enjoy going out to eat with them while you're traveling.

[1209] You like having a drink with them.

[1210] You start talking about your family, your hates, your must have.

[1211] Swaps some secrets.

[1212] Swaps some secrets.

[1213] Inside baseball, right?

[1214] And then they know too much And then they take advantage of that By not getting your stuff to you timely Or they think, oh, he'll understand You know what I'm saying?

[1215] Or gross, yeah.

[1216] Yeah, or he'll understand, I'm really behind Or I can't make it today.

[1217] I don't feel like it.

[1218] It's just Huey.

[1219] Right, right.

[1220] Or use some of those personal things they've shared.

[1221] Like my wife, you know, I told you about my wife.

[1222] Yeah, I told you about a wife and I'm gay And it's complicated today.

[1223] Right.

[1224] Juggling a lot of balls.

[1225] I slept with a man last night in this hotel.

[1226] And you get it because we talked.

[1227] He joined us for breakfast.

[1228] Please don't tell her.

[1229] Right.

[1230] Oh, God.

[1231] That kind of thing.

[1232] You know?

[1233] So I just don't want that leverage.

[1234] So you just try to keep everyone at arm's length.

[1235] Yeah, because I'm a remarkably friendly and kind -hearted person.

[1236] Right?

[1237] Uh -huh.

[1238] Remarkably.

[1239] It's outstanding.

[1240] It's part of my ministry.

[1241] And I'd like that to be, you know, my every day.

[1242] I want to be kind to people.

[1243] But you got to protect you.

[1244] I got to sometimes I feel so much that I just can't feel anything at all right okay I love this because I know you're like this is you you're always half joking half serious it's a bit so it can be confusing but because I think you're being honest about that yeah I think you're being honest about these types of relationships and that's a real thing people do struggle with and come down on different sides of, because I told Kristen, after me, do not have another assistant who you're friends with.

[1245] I told her that.

[1246] I was like, I really think that's not a good idea.

[1247] Here's the, so yeah.

[1248] Because you inadvertently take advantage of it.

[1249] I do it with people that clients of mine that hire me. That you are friends with.

[1250] Yeah, that I'm friendly with.

[1251] You phone it in a little bit.

[1252] Yes, all the time.

[1253] And I don't want to do that.

[1254] It's not that, though.

[1255] I do want to do it, but I don't want to do it.

[1256] I think.

[1257] For her specifically, it's then I don't think she'll be able to have boundaries that she needs.

[1258] Right.

[1259] Because she doesn't want to hurt someone's feelings or, I mean, she never wants to hurt anyone's feelings.

[1260] But if it's there her friend, if it's someone who's coming to the group party.

[1261] Yeah.

[1262] Well, the thing that makes it difficult is there are going to be aspects of every job that are really not enjoyable.

[1263] And those get harder to ask for because you recognize them as not enjoyable.

[1264] But also, you're going to spend your life with these people.

[1265] It'd be insane to have all that time being a void where you're not, you don't love the person.

[1266] I know.

[1267] That's why this is tricky.

[1268] You want to enjoy that person and love them but still be able to have some boundaries.

[1269] Because an assistant is a very specific job.

[1270] Yeah.

[1271] There's a power or dynamic obviously in the fact that someone is doing the junk you don't want to do.

[1272] And that's their job.

[1273] That's the point of it.

[1274] Yeah.

[1275] That gets tricky when you're also very close.

[1276] Yes, yeah.

[1277] But she didn't listen to me. Anna is a full -fledged family member.

[1278] I didn't like her.

[1279] I just met her.

[1280] She's so viewed.

[1281] And like, is it because she's been as wailing?

[1282] Yeah, I don't know what it was.

[1283] She didn't feel, it didn't feel right.

[1284] Comfortable.

[1285] Yeah, it's uncomfortable.

[1286] Because she's so nice and smile.

[1287] It was something.

[1288] Maybe.

[1289] She had a joy.

[1290] Let's just be nice.

[1291] Let's just leave it.

[1292] Maybe it was that, okay.

[1293] The joy de vie.

[1294] What is the term, Monica?

[1295] The French word.

[1296] Joie de vie.

[1297] Joie de vie.

[1298] Is that like a zest for life?

[1299] Yeah, jean -secois.

[1300] Oh, well, now you're throwing another one up.

[1301] No, there's a joy.

[1302] Joie de vie, I think.

[1303] Joy's in there.

[1304] Oh, right.

[1305] Oh, no contrary Montrereire.

[1306] You're familiar with that.

[1307] No contrary Montreux.

[1308] I think you've said it a few times.

[1309] I think Bart Simpson.

[1310] That was a Bart Simpson.

[1311] Yeah, that was one of his go -toes.

[1312] Years ago.

[1313] And Aaron and I have been calling each other Montfrear for years.

[1314] Oh, that's funny.

[1315] And so.

[1316] what we were pitching each other the other day is we were kind of lamenting that guys don't have a cool word to say to one another you know we're jealous we don't have a cool word for each other and uh so aaron said well hold on we we certainly do have a word mon frere me and my mon frere's were oh you know my mon frere erin my main mon frere we were thinking how hard it'd be to get that one to pick up some steam my mom oh shit it was me and three of my mon frere as we went down to uh yeah I don't know how to spell it So then I looked up It's all contraire Montre All Which means on the contrary My brother Oh Yeah so brother It works Is it French?

[1317] Monfrere Yeah Great question I forget already I just remember No probably not Mon would be my How do you know I'm smart You don't speak French I don't How many ember mugs do you guys Can I not say a name No, yeah, you can.

[1318] In fact, I was using mine, and it was in photos, and I think they sent us a few to be nice.

[1319] Where did you learn about that?

[1320] From Healy.

[1321] Thank you.

[1322] Yes, well, I gave all praise to...

[1323] Did you?

[1324] You know, did I tell you that we got Hayes for Christmas, her stocking stuffer?

[1325] We don't do stocking stuffers less than $1 ,000.

[1326] Okay.

[1327] Okay.

[1328] Per item.

[1329] Okay.

[1330] We do one gift to relate to, like, regular...

[1331] Sure, sure.

[1332] The proletariat.

[1333] You know?

[1334] Okay.

[1335] And we got her...

[1336] We got her...

[1337] the boys and I, me, got her a travel.

[1338] Don't you hate that when people say, oh, the boys, we got you this ring.

[1339] No, we didn't get you this ring.

[1340] We didn't get you this ring.

[1341] We didn't get you anything.

[1342] We got her one of the travel embers.

[1343] Yeah, I got one.

[1344] Do you like it?

[1345] Haven't used it yet.

[1346] She likes it a lot.

[1347] I don't know if it would be enough liquid volume for you.

[1348] You know, my thing is, I'm not in the car.

[1349] If I had a commute, I would use it.

[1350] She takes it to the club.

[1351] To the club.

[1352] To play tennis.

[1353] She plays tennis like four days.

[1354] You know that.

[1355] Like she plays tennis like four days a week.

[1356] Sure.

[1357] Always on that.

[1358] You can't get her out of the tennis school.

[1359] Doubles?

[1360] Doubles, yes.

[1361] She moved up this year.

[1362] She and her NALTA rate, national association with ladies, I don't know.

[1363] North American Ladies Tennis Association or maybe, I don't know.

[1364] Would they sponsor it?

[1365] No, but I've mentioned them.

[1366] Maybe we should get some free T -shirts or something.

[1367] Definitely what we want.

[1368] Right.

[1369] Yeah.

[1370] You got to say your aim a little higher than free T -shirts.

[1371] Arm sweat bands.

[1372] Visors.

[1373] Visors.

[1374] Nice visors.

[1375] She moved up.

[1376] She's, you know.

[1377] Yell about?

[1378] Yeah.

[1379] Well, you know, we've spent $30 ,000 on lessons in the last 18 months, so she should move up.

[1380] Tennis is a great exercise.

[1381] She loves it.

[1382] She loves it.

[1383] Do you play?

[1384] No, I'm really bad at it.

[1385] Do you?

[1386] No. Okay.

[1387] I'm too busy paying for it.

[1388] I don't have time.

[1389] Someone's got to work.

[1390] Somebody's got to pay for all this.

[1391] Hayes worked.

[1392] She's a very, very good real estate agent, so don't listen to a word.

[1393] he's saying she is she's excellent yeah maybe she can help me with my house i'm going to get her out here you're going to first secure her some court time at a local tennis place yeah so she doesn't drop off los angeles country club or something something exclusive i don't know if we have anything here that would be up to her standards bell air we'll get her into you'll have a racket club or something in bell air yeah i'm sure the bellar country club has something that'll suit her do you all know club members out here i don't not one person are you just saying that no no i i gotta tell you You're so caught in your egocentric world.

[1394] This club thing is in the South only.

[1395] It's a big deal.

[1396] That's not true.

[1397] In the South.

[1398] It is a huge deal in New England, it's a big deal in New England, right?

[1399] All those old waspy people.

[1400] Probably because I worked for a family.

[1401] I nannied for them in Marina del Rey many years ago.

[1402] And they were members of some sort of club.

[1403] I probably know them.

[1404] I probably know them.

[1405] The family club where you go spend Fridays Saturdays and Sundays at it.

[1406] That just doesn't really exist here.

[1407] Really?

[1408] It doesn't.

[1409] Like, it's a lifestyle.

[1410] The Marina del Rey one, though, was.

[1411] They would go for dinner and stuff.

[1412] So it was mostly similar, but nothing like the ones in the South.

[1413] You know, I got blackballed from the first club I applied to.

[1414] Oh, you did?

[1415] Where I live, there's an exclusive club.

[1416] It is the neighborhood country club, and it's the most quote -unquote exclusive one in Nashville.

[1417] So I told Hayes, she's like, oh, that's close to our house.

[1418] Let's go there.

[1419] We had a lot of friends there.

[1420] It's a very nice club.

[1421] Logistically, it's an easy decision.

[1422] It made the most sense.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] And it's a love of the club.

[1425] I'm not going to sit here and deny that we didn't want to join.

[1426] So it's a very, very complicated process, and it's a year -long process.

[1427] Oh, my God.

[1428] I had to have, like, 25 meetings with individuals.

[1429] No. Yeah, I had to have 30 to 35 letters of recommendation.

[1430] Oh, this is so stupid.

[1431] This is extreme compared to others?

[1432] yeah for well okay i would say that there is a certain breed of club in this country that would require a similar process but they're not clubs that you would really know about unless you were local to the area right so maybe like if you're in charlotte or if you're in birmingham or you know there might be one or two in Atlanta that have you're from Atlanta like country club of the south maybe or like Cherokee or Piedmont driving club those so you don't I don't even...

[1433] I don't know those.

[1434] Those are above your pay grade.

[1435] Country Club of the South is probably easier to get in.

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] Cherokee and...

[1438] I've never even...

[1439] That's where Huey would want to be.

[1440] Cherokee.

[1441] That's so...

[1442] Dicey.

[1443] Yeah.

[1444] They're celebrating.

[1445] I can't handle it.

[1446] I got to imagine there's a ton of indigenous folks.

[1447] Yeah, it's called Cherokee and not one Native American is a lot.

[1448] Yeah, but okay.

[1449] PDC, Piedmont Driving Club is probably...

[1450] I don't know the hierarchy, but I would think that's the harder one to get into.

[1451] Okay.

[1452] Okay, so we have a great friend Cameron.

[1453] Was he a member?

[1454] Do you ever get talking clubs with him?

[1455] You know what?

[1456] I don't know if he was a member.

[1457] It wouldn't surprise me if he is.

[1458] I'll ask him.

[1459] But text him and ask him which one.

[1460] Listen, there are a few.

[1461] Capital City is lovely.

[1462] That's kind of like the one I'm a member of.

[1463] Capital City in Atlanta is.

[1464] Okay, so there are a handful in the Metro Detroit area, but it's...

[1465] There's some exclusive clubs up there, golf courses.

[1466] But there's, yeah, but it's like three or four, and you just, it's not a thing.

[1467] It's really not a thing.

[1468] It's not a thing here.

[1469] And then, so my generic opinion of them was what I see in movies.

[1470] Like a bunch of hoity, a bunch of fucking Thirst and Howls.

[1471] You and your Thurston Howell buddies.

[1472] Similar.

[1473] As long as they're playing tennis, I don't have to talk to this.

[1474] I'm happy to play.

[1475] Just a bunch of shithead men.

[1476] Yeah.

[1477] But as I defended yours when I talked about it on here, it was a lot of fun.

[1478] It's really like a way to join a pod, really.

[1479] It's like you...

[1480] But it's so exclusive.

[1481] Right, right.

[1482] I'll tell you what makes mine exclusive.

[1483] Yeah.

[1484] All right, so the one that I got bald from.

[1485] Yeah.

[1486] It was either me, my wife, and so somebody did not like us, or maybe I...

[1487] You come from bad stock.

[1488] Yeah, bad stock.

[1489] Oh.

[1490] You let this one of these bad seeds in here.

[1491] I didn't go around and try and kiss a lot of ass.

[1492] I did try and be pleasant to people and all that.

[1493] And maybe I'd, maybe I screwed it up.

[1494] I don't know.

[1495] Maybe I'm just a terrible...

[1496] My hunch is it was you.

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] Because you were popping.

[1499] some jokes.

[1500] Probably said something I shouldn't have said.

[1501] Yeah.

[1502] They didn't really know 80 % of what you say is a joke.

[1503] I will tell you right now, God is real because he saved me from that club.

[1504] We would have not liked it.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] And we got to the one that we love.

[1507] We absolutely love it.

[1508] We have met so many great people.

[1509] It's a big time party.

[1510] I went there as a big time party.

[1511] Everyone was happy.

[1512] Everyone's with their kids.

[1513] And you would fit in just fine because there's celebrities that's the one that's the celebrities join.

[1514] I think you're playing a fast and loose with the word celebrity.

[1515] It's a country music people.

[1516] Hasfield has people.

[1517] There's one on Hayes' tennis team.

[1518] Marin Morris, do you all know her?

[1519] Yeah, I love her.

[1520] Like as her partner?

[1521] Yeah.

[1522] Oh my gosh, she's partner.

[1523] But her whole life is chocked full of celebrities.

[1524] She should start a gossip rag.

[1525] We did.

[1526] We do.

[1527] We do.

[1528] Okay.

[1529] Cameron said L .O .L. No. Well, you know, given his, the type of restaurant that they were involved in, I could see where that wouldn't go over well in the membership committee.

[1530] Yeah.

[1531] Hooters.

[1532] Yeah.

[1533] Hooters.

[1534] My family.

[1535] Counselman, they have erected a hooters about two blocks from my family's home, and we've got to act now before they're doing sex acts of parking a lot.

[1536] I have young boys in the house.

[1537] I'm trying to keep on the path, on the bridge.

[1538] The bridge.

[1539] To heaven.

[1540] That sounds just like everybody in the city council meeting.

[1541] They do not want to put sidewalks in because they will come over here and walk.

[1542] Sure.

[1543] They.

[1544] Now, I don't even know who.

[1545] You criminals will come over and just walk around the neighborhood, right?

[1546] We want to put sidewalks in everywhere.

[1547] And there is a whole host of people.

[1548] No, we don't want people over here.

[1549] Well, that's similar.

[1550] They won't allow a subway stop in Beverly Hills.

[1551] Same thing.

[1552] Yeah, same thing.

[1553] Well, this was a great last episode of the show.

[1554] I enjoyed the ride.

[1555] Everyone has left now.

[1556] I don't know how many people at the club are listening to this show.

[1557] My club, they would, but not at the other one.

[1558] They don't even have a podcast app on their phone at the other club.

[1559] The other one sounds so ridiculous because why is it so hard to get into if it's shitty?

[1560] I'll throw this out there.

[1561] I feel like I'm in the middle of you guys somehow on whatever spectrum we're talking about.

[1562] I thought you hated bullies.

[1563] I do, but that's the point I'm going to raise.

[1564] Do you think there's a bunch of people trying to get into his country club that are getting to denied?

[1565] I don't.

[1566] He got denied.

[1567] The other one.

[1568] I'm saying the people that are being, quote, discriminated against, I don't imagine are trying to get into that club.

[1569] So it's kind of in theory.

[1570] I'm very inclusive, but I'm also, I'm skeptical of the reaction that people are being excluded.

[1571] I actually don't think people, I don't think anyone wants to join a kind of club like that if they're not like that.

[1572] Well, you don't want to join a club that you're going to go and feel uncomfortable in.

[1573] But it's not, it's like you're protecting somebody who doesn't want to join them.

[1574] the club.

[1575] Like, you don't want to join that club, right?

[1576] I would have.

[1577] There's a time in my life where I, 100 %, I was dying to be a part of those things.

[1578] Yeah.

[1579] But even when I went with, like, friends, I was uncomfortable there.

[1580] I was like, I don't belong here.

[1581] I'm sorry, I interrupted.

[1582] No, no, no, that's it.

[1583] That was it.

[1584] I will have to say, I think where I'm a member, Dax went in and you all had a great time, you enjoyed it.

[1585] I don't feel any of that.

[1586] It's so nuance and specific also because it's per person like I actually like that I'm the one there covered in tattoos so like I like I like feeling different from them but I haven't I got to choose that but you're a celebrity sure but even prior to being a celebrity we've talked about this a lot like I chose punk rock as a lane again it was my choice you didn't get to choose it you were other by birth which is not fair I got to choose mine so I'm not saying they're the same but But I'm saying that it is individual enough that I actually want to be the person who sticks out at any club I join.

[1587] When we try to like establish policy, I'm saying it's even down to an individual.

[1588] Like, again, for you feeling different and other would not be a good feeling, which is totally great and justifiable.

[1589] And then for my weird mix of molecules, I want to feel different there.

[1590] Well, now, but I know you're saying before, but you also said in a couple of fact checks ago, like you'd hate it.

[1591] your high school and because of that because it's run by jocks who everyone just bows down to because they're this group and there's all these awesome other people who aren't getting recognized and you didn't like it yeah i didn't like that school but i liked being different i'm just saying some people like being different some people hate being different there's a big latitude with people's desires as individuals so i happen to want to stick out you don't want to stick out so we can't create a policy that's going to make you and I happy almost ever But you're sticking out while also being totally embraced because you're like at the highest echelon of person That is 100 % true But I'm telling you this way predates me being a movie star I liked going to my brother's country club with snooty people and I was different And then I won people over and I was funny And I pre being on TV, I also loved being different as just a constitution that I have.

[1592] So it's hard to make everyone happy because I actually want to be different.

[1593] Some people don't want to be different.

[1594] It's more of a place where you can go with your family and you don't really talk politics.

[1595] You don't really talk about anything that's overtly controversial.

[1596] There is some sort of silent code where you try your best to get along with everyone because you're a member of this club and you've paid a fortune for it and you're going to be here for 40 years and you don't up and leave you know people don't if you join a club at that price point you don't leave right you're there in Nashville forever you're there in L .A. for you're not leaving right so it's a it's an investment for your family the fundamental bond is everyone's there for their kids that's that's the reason we join so no one they're single there are divorced women so and men right but no one like I would know no I know no I know it's a certain age.

[1597] So like, let's say I had not been married at 35.

[1598] Like, I was looking right before I got married to Hayes at 37 or 36.

[1599] Like, I was kind of thinking, I'd go join a club.

[1600] I'll make a prediction.

[1601] The men would love you and the women would hate you.

[1602] Yeah.

[1603] Yeah, because you'd be like the Black Widow crawling through there with you.

[1604] They would love, you would love it.

[1605] Because it's not, it was just, it's just a bunch of well -to -do people that are sitting around having a good time.

[1606] They may be talking about some things that you find obnoxious, right?

[1607] Like, I don't know, cars or golf or whatever.

[1608] But at the end of the day, they're probably a lot more fun than you think they are because they're just sitting around drinking and yeah i have no doubt that they're fun or nice at all i'm sure they are oh yeah i can hear the judgment yeah i love i love them you love them what about it the do you know what what is your hesitation i don't understand i just don't like the idea of that point of entry being so high in all regards in monetary in i don't I don't know.

[1609] You're saying that it can be diverse.

[1610] So I, you know, you go there.

[1611] It's not particularly diverse, but.

[1612] Well, also, maybe the area is probably just not that diverse.

[1613] It's not terribly diverse in the area.

[1614] Anyway.

[1615] Should we announce that you're running for office?

[1616] Yes.

[1617] Congress, funny.

[1618] Who is this fact check on money?

[1619] Scott Galloway.

[1620] Oh, boy, did we like Scott Galloway.

[1621] Have you ever heard of him?

[1622] I feel like you should know him from your business interest.

[1623] That name sounds familiar.

[1624] He's a marketing guru that teaches at NYU.

[1625] He's launched a bunch of success.

[1626] successful companies.

[1627] He does this incredible yearly prediction at South by Southwest.

[1628] Yes.

[1629] I know who you're talking about.

[1630] Well, majority of the conversation was about masculinity.

[1631] Well, Scott said a lot of stuff.

[1632] A lot of facts.

[1633] Yeah.

[1634] Yeah, dating apps.

[1635] He had this crazy dating app data.

[1636] He was saying in these studies, if you put 50 women and 50 men on, I forget what popular dating app, what you'll find in short order is that 46 of the women will be attracted to six of the men leaving the remaining four women for the 46 men that there's like kind of super achievers now in that space and that the vast majority of men will never get alike like upwards of 80%.

[1637] So it's been monopolized by a super few.

[1638] So now you have like the dudes that have money and are attractive right on the surface.

[1639] I feel terrible for all those other guys.

[1640] Well, he just said, if you look, right now, I forget what the statistic he said, but if you survey men under 30, something like 40 % of them have not had sex within the last year.

[1641] Really?

[1642] He said one out of three men have not had sex within the last year.

[1643] Is that different than historically?

[1644] Yes, yes, drastically different.

[1645] Because you had to go out in person at a bar and meet people or some social group and the person could talk to you.

[1646] Like you, you think you would have ever gotten married?

[1647] The only thing you have to offer is one photo of yourself that's poorly lit?

[1648] You think you're going to be like...

[1649] No. I just would screenshot my Merrill Lynch balance and as my photo.

[1650] That would help.

[1651] That would help according to this.

[1652] Yeah, right, right?

[1653] You'd go with what you got.

[1654] Put your best foot forward.

[1655] Yeah, it says one in three U .S. men, ages 18 to 24, reported no sex.

[1656] actual activity in the past year.

[1657] This was 2020, though.

[1658] This was June 2020.

[1659] You were saying that's a little cherry picky because it was COVID, but only three months into COVID?

[1660] It's also, I don't know, I'm a little skeptical of this study because it's self -reported.

[1661] Like, how do you really test that?

[1662] Well, I'd argue, though, if anything, I think it would skew towards men lying and saying they had, because that's the stereotype, as men are always overinflating how people where they've slept with and how many girls like, right?

[1663] Yeah.

[1664] Did you ever have a fake girlfriend you'd tell your friends about?

[1665] Like that you knew a girl from Kentucky or anything?

[1666] You know, there would be times when I would say, like, if I'd been out with somebody four or five times, and you go to a wedding or something that's awkward, and they're asking, you know, you're running me like, oh, I've been dating this girl.

[1667] Whereas, like, you might not say, like, I've been, you've been out with her twice.

[1668] Like, I don't know that that considers dating.

[1669] That's not your girlfriend.

[1670] Right, right, right.

[1671] But you just don't want to deal with the bullshit.

[1672] Yeah.

[1673] Oh, I don't want to do that.

[1674] Did you ever employ a professional?

[1675] Prost, a whore?

[1676] No, like an escort.

[1677] A whore, yes.

[1678] No, I didn't, but that's a great idea.

[1679] Right.

[1680] That could have kept the heat off your back.

[1681] I would have done that.

[1682] Sure.

[1683] I just didn't think about it.

[1684] Can you do that?

[1685] Yeah.

[1686] That's a lot of what escorts are doing.

[1687] I imagine there is some tier of escorts that's not sleeping with people, but really just for the show of that, going to a wedding, going to a business thing.

[1688] Man, I could.

[1689] I wonder if I could do that now.

[1690] You should give it a try.

[1691] Give it a try.

[1692] Is that wrong?

[1693] If it was totally platonic.

[1694] There's no such thing.

[1695] Right.

[1696] There is no morality.

[1697] That's all relative.

[1698] Okay.

[1699] Doke.

[1700] Oh, the acceptance rate of UCLA in 2000 was, what on?

[1701] In 2000, that's when I went there?

[1702] Yeah.

[1703] Okay.

[1704] I like how you had to insert that you went to college.

[1705] Well, because the conversation, I just want to make clear, because the conversation she's referencing he had gone in 87.

[1706] I went in 2000.

[1707] We were comparing those.

[1708] Everybody, Dax, went to college.

[1709] UCLA.

[1710] But I want to get 20 -20, ultimately.

[1711] So I'm going to make very clear what direction is going in.

[1712] So do you want to do some fast math?

[1713] Yeah, I'd love to.

[1714] Okay.

[1715] 37, 791.

[1716] Applicants?

[1717] Or applied?

[1718] Okay.

[1719] I'm going to call it 40 ,000.

[1720] Make it easy.

[1721] Okay.

[1722] Admitted.

[1723] 10 ,000.

[1724] 945.

[1725] Well, that's that bad.

[1726] So it's one in four.

[1727] They're admitted.

[1728] Yeah.

[1729] 30 % or 25%.

[1730] 29%.

[1731] 29%.

[1732] I'm a math guy.

[1733] You think a lot of people just don't.

[1734] That was exciting.

[1735] They just don't apply.

[1736] See that you could put that on your profile.

[1737] Math guy.

[1738] I'm really good at percentages.

[1739] Good numbers.

[1740] What'd you say, Dax?

[1741] Sorry.

[1742] I was just saying, do you think people just generally don't apply unless they think they're going to get in?

[1743] That must be how it is.

[1744] Yeah, like a country club.

[1745] That's very selective.

[1746] Colleges are selective.

[1747] It is.

[1748] That was part of our conversation.

[1749] It's gotten way too hard.

[1750] Well, a college is a crock of shit anyway, just in general.

[1751] At this point.

[1752] I mean, I love it.

[1753] I loved it too, but I think it's a total crock of show.

[1754] But that's an interesting counterpoint.

[1755] You don't mind the exclusivity of colleges.

[1756] Thank you.

[1757] Like, you don't want Harvard to just say anyone can come and it's $5 and now it's not Harvard.

[1758] There are options.

[1759] It's exclusive to get a medical license.

[1760] Do you want to just let anybody practice oncology?

[1761] No, don't, you guys.

[1762] I'm not doing that.

[1763] That's too far.

[1764] Your logic falls apart.

[1765] That's absolutely stupid.

[1766] Doesn't it?

[1767] That's so stupid.

[1768] But Harvard not letting in one million students so that it's still Harvard, we would defend that, right?

[1769] But there are other options.

[1770] You don't have to go to Harvard.

[1771] There are other clubs.

[1772] Yeah, there's other clubs.

[1773] There are other clubs that let anyone in?

[1774] Yeah.

[1775] Yeah, called the YMCA.

[1776] I mean Yeah Sure Think about it You won't I'll think about it They also have scholarship programs They like Make it a point to Have it be diverse They do do scholarships But at the same time You have to be the 0 .01 % Of the academic achievement To get one of those scholarships They're still very exclusionary In what grade point you had And what SAT score you had and all these different metrics they're using to exclude people.

[1777] I mean, yeah.

[1778] Well, you have to bring something special, I guess, to the table to be able to get a scholarship.

[1779] Yeah.

[1780] But they have like Pell Grants and stuff.

[1781] I mean, no, I want everyone to be able to go to college.

[1782] I don't think we should have free college for all, like every college should be free.

[1783] But I think all community colleges should be free.

[1784] So, yeah, I do want that opportunity available for everyone.

[1785] Oh, yeah.

[1786] I'm just, I was saying in one area where people want to congregate with the criteria and they have metrics, it's like objectively abhorrent.

[1787] In another area where people want to gather and congregate with metrics of achievement, it's fine.

[1788] It's an interesting paradox.

[1789] And it might be defendable.

[1790] I'm just bringing it up.

[1791] Do you think every single person is capable of making it through Harvard?

[1792] I don't.

[1793] So you're saying they're doing them a favor by excluding them that they would just fail there?

[1794] That is remarkably elitist.

[1795] No, it's not.

[1796] I couldn't, I don't think I could.

[1797] We know.

[1798] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1799] I'm more.

[1800] I mean, that's why, like, I don't put myself in that category.

[1801] So.

[1802] I'm only pointing out, like, because let's forget the country club.

[1803] That's a bad example.

[1804] But you and I have argued about Chateau Marmar.

[1805] Mm -hmm.

[1806] Before about the exclusivity of getting in their.

[1807] to eat.

[1808] And you don't, you hate that, right?

[1809] And I'm saying it is interesting.

[1810] There's compartments where that's fine for you, exclusivity and exclusion, which would be Harvard.

[1811] And then it's not at Chateau Marmont.

[1812] Like, do you recognize that as a paradox or no?

[1813] Yeah, I mean, I think things like restaurants and eating and like just like being by a pool, like there's a pool in my neighborhood at home.

[1814] It's free if you live in the neighborhood.

[1815] I don't think those things are the same as having to go through a curriculum and graduate at the end of it.

[1816] I don't think sitting around is the same thing as schooling.

[1817] I mean, that requires you to get through it to get a diploma at the end of it.

[1818] Right.

[1819] I don't think that's the same.

[1820] So that's a distinction, I agree.

[1821] But then another way I would flip that is one has no relevance.

[1822] The other one is denying people of futures.

[1823] So, like, the consequences of not going to Chateau Marmont are zero.

[1824] The consequences of not going, or rather the benefit of having gone to Harvard, is life -changing.

[1825] So in one way, you're denying people a life -changing future versus the bolognese at the restaurant.

[1826] Sure.

[1827] So, like, that's another way we could flip it.

[1828] Yeah, there's always a way to look at it.

[1829] But there are other options and there are other restaurants.

[1830] So that's...

[1831] And there's other clubs and there's other organizations and there's other...

[1832] Yeah, that's, I mean, I don't, I feel like I don't really want to be in a position of not, of like, defending the country club, which I kind of feel like you're putting me in.

[1833] I'm having fun, I'm not attacking you.

[1834] That's not what, what is happening.

[1835] I'm saying the principle of exclusion is.

[1836] That's fine.

[1837] You're allowed to.

[1838] The principle of exclusion, we can't say is objectively bad.

[1839] Because if it's objectively bad, then it's objectively bad.

[1840] Okay.

[1841] All over the universe.

[1842] Then I'm not saying it's objectively bad, but I think it's bad in that case by case.

[1843] Right.

[1844] And that's fine.

[1845] That's all.

[1846] I was just pointing out that there's compartments in our head.

[1847] We have the flexibility to accept in support exclusion in some areas and not others.

[1848] Yes.

[1849] I think Harvard can be exclusive.

[1850] Right.

[1851] I don't think college should be exclusive.

[1852] Right.

[1853] I agree.

[1854] I think everyone should be able to attend college.

[1855] Yeah.

[1856] Okay.

[1857] In 2020, a hundred and eight thousand.

[1858] Oh, it left.

[1859] Applicants.

[1860] I'm going to say 110 for the sake of my math.

[1861] 108 ,000.

[1862] And then 15 ,000 admitted.

[1863] So it's down to like...

[1864] Eight percent.

[1865] Yeah.

[1866] 14.

[1867] Okay, so it went from 25 to...

[1868] Also, admitted and enrolled is different.

[1869] You know, because people go other places.

[1870] Right.

[1871] They get that acceptance letter and then they...

[1872] So 6 ,000 enrolled in 2020.

[1873] Oh, out of 110 ,000.

[1874] What was the previous enrollment?

[1875] In 2000?

[1876] For 2 ,000.

[1877] 4 ,000 enrolled in 2000.

[1878] Out of we have...

[1879] Out of 37...

[1880] Oh, I'm sorry, out of 10 ,000 admitted.

[1881] In 40 ,000 applicants.

[1882] Or 11 ,000 admitted, really.

[1883] Interesting.

[1884] I wonder how many people apply to Harvard.

[1885] Wabi, will you find out?

[1886] Good question.

[1887] In what year?

[1888] now I guess how many people apply to Harvard okay he said one in seven men in America don't have a single friend one in seven that's what he said how would you know that a single friend well you interview 10 ,000 people and you extrapolate you know exactly how they fucking know that well and I just wonder like do we have a commonly accepted definition of the word friend because there's people that think that I'm their friend and I'm completely not their friend one of them is in this room okay I'll let you three decide battle it out yeah Do you leave?

[1889] Yeah.

[1890] In 2020, Harvard had 57 ,000 applicants.

[1891] That's it.

[1892] And 2021, it jumped to 61 ,000.

[1893] Wow.

[1894] Again, I would have thought like a million people apply to Harvard.

[1895] Why not?

[1896] Take your shot.

[1897] Well, I guess, too, you got to pay, there's some kind of, do you get a pay to submit?

[1898] Yes.

[1899] You do.

[1900] Yeah, what is it?

[1901] 150 bucks.

[1902] So you're not going to just be throwing away.

[1903] And it's work.

[1904] I mean, applying to college is work.

[1905] You have to do an essay and get, all those things.

[1906] $85.

[1907] I only, I didn't, I only applied to one in school.

[1908] Go bulldog, go dogs.

[1909] That's right.

[1910] Winners.

[1911] That's pretty good.

[1912] Yeah, you like that.

[1913] Oh, congratulations on your national champions.

[1914] Are you a big Tennessee fan?

[1915] Well, but, you know, I went to Sanford University, for God for learning forever.

[1916] Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[1917] And we're the bulldogs also.

[1918] Oh.

[1919] Yeah.

[1920] I didn't really have a dog in the fight, if you will.

[1921] But you.

[1922] But I was rooting for.

[1923] Georgia.

[1924] Thank you.

[1925] You know, I got friends.

[1926] In the final one, but the previous game, the Tennessee Georgia game, you have to be ready for Tennessee.

[1927] Oh, yeah, but the Tennessee's had, I mean, you know, they just had such a shit last 20 years or 15 years.

[1928] They were real underdogs.

[1929] Terrible.

[1930] Okay.

[1931] And it's like they've had, a lot of it is self -inflicted with just their terrible management and choices.

[1932] But it's nice, just bad choices.

[1933] Personal responsive.

[1934] I'm a big personal responsibility.

[1935] You're an advocate for personal responsibility.

[1936] responsibility um this says i will say this says nearly one in five men admit to not having a single close friend that's not hard for me to believe at all yeah i buy that yeah there's so many guys that are just like wandering the planet yeah so when they get married i think they're like okay i got my one connection now i've got yep i know people like that yeah people like zero friends and they're married but don't you think a lot of that is self -induced like where they just like i don't want that i think the act of pursuing a friendship is innately vulnerable you're kind of owning a desire owning a need you know you got a beta yourself to pursue a friendship yeah you got a date a little bit yeah and i think men are really clumsy at that and feel awkward and i think if men don't have an activity a shared activity to do the notion of like let's go get coffee and shoot the shit is so foreign to a lot of men I don't play golf, and I find that that is a, it impedes a lot of friendships with people that I wouldn't otherwise be friends with, probably.

[1937] But I can't really get to know them because I don't have that shared passion for.

[1938] Yeah, hitting a ball with a stick.

[1939] I'm sorry, I want to do that for six hours on my one day that I'm not working or worshiping.

[1940] No, we've really shined a light on all of our differences.

[1941] Now I'm going to shine a light on our similarities, which is you and us, are very traditional female friendship.

[1942] Totally.

[1943] We met for lunch for the first time.

[1944] We stayed for three hours chatting.

[1945] We started comparing books.

[1946] We're trading books.

[1947] We're talkaholics.

[1948] We walk around each other bug naked.

[1949] That's right.

[1950] Pillow fight.

[1951] Rassling matches.

[1952] We hug.

[1953] We kiss.

[1954] Yeah, sure.

[1955] But you and I love talking.

[1956] 100%.

[1957] And I don't think there's a lot of, there's a good sector of men who don't.

[1958] That's not what they're, they're happy to go out and swing that stick with you and you know yeah but if there's not some shared activity i think it could be hard for men to just chat hang i'd have to be guessing i i've always had a lot of friends male friends so you know i'd be theorizing on why it's hard to not have male friends because i've always had them i'm just so god damn adorable you are you are you are in fact i'm nervous for you because like this misanthropic persona you have it works currently but you're like losing weight by the gallon when you're 165 and you've got a hair transplant and you've thick hair veneers you're going to get veneers it's not going to work so I'm just saying it's not I'm not going to have to change your personality I'm not going to have the cover fire the cover fire anymore you know Monica I'm down 50 pounds congratulations that's great on the same train as Aaron Mejorno.

[1959] Oh, is that, like, the Ozmpic thing?

[1960] The A -1C medication.

[1961] It's fantastic.

[1962] Great.

[1963] I love it.

[1964] So, I'm just curious, like, does it make you less hungry?

[1965] What is it doing?

[1966] A guy I work with who I recommended it to, because we talk about this a lot.

[1967] You know, we were talking like, gosh, you know, like up and down for years.

[1968] Because you all seem me thinner, you see me heavier, whatever.

[1969] And he summed it up in a good way.

[1970] He said that it cuts the food noise.

[1971] out of your head.

[1972] And so, like, I didn't, we were talking about this last night.

[1973] I didn't have the urge to, like, just stop and gorge myself or eat three or four, five big meals a day.

[1974] Yeah.

[1975] You know, roll through fast food and get three cheeseburgers a day or something.

[1976] I didn't have that.

[1977] I didn't snack, canned, none of that.

[1978] I would just eat really big meals, like, once a day.

[1979] Oh.

[1980] I would drink a lot, and I would just eat poorly or richly.

[1981] I lived richly, right?

[1982] Yeah, well, you're rich.

[1983] I'm rich.

[1984] And I'm a dying breed and I have to do it while I still can.

[1985] Yeah, that's right.

[1986] So it was one of those things where the anxiety about trying to eat well was exhausting.

[1987] It is exhausting mentally because I knew better.

[1988] I'm not somebody who just disregarded it, but it was a constant like, okay, if I eat this, then I won't eat later.

[1989] But what happens is I eat later, right?

[1990] Right.

[1991] I'm going to go meet, I'm in L .A. I'm going to meet you guys for lunch.

[1992] going to take me to this great burger place that I'm only, I'm probably never going to go to again.

[1993] It's your favorite burger or it's your favorite milkshake or whatever.

[1994] I would take it as a personal insult if you didn't eat it.

[1995] Yeah, and I want to participate in that.

[1996] I want a delicious hamburger.

[1997] I want a milkshake.

[1998] I want two of them.

[1999] Three.

[2000] Yeah.

[2001] Four.

[2002] Six -pack.

[2003] Six.

[2004] You know, so like you go and do that, and then, you know, like you run to your system and four hours later, you're ready for dinner again, you know.

[2005] And I travel a lot for work.

[2006] So it was difficult to manage that.

[2007] because you go to the hotel restaurant and you sit down and have a steak for dinner and a potato, you know, whatever, a piece of cheesecake, and you go upstairs and you go to bed.

[2008] Right.

[2009] It's hard to manage it.

[2010] Well, I will see.

[2011] You all know that.

[2012] Travel makes it really, really hard.

[2013] I'm only successful when I can be like the ultimate creature of habit.

[2014] Like, I eat the same thing for breakfast.

[2015] And I do.

[2016] I eat the exact same oatmeal every morning with two scoops of protein and then at lunch I have the exact same.

[2017] Like, it's got to come out of my fridge.

[2018] I have to be able to control it.

[2019] Doing a low -carb or keto thing was much easier for me. I just got tired of that.

[2020] Yeah.

[2021] It would work really well.

[2022] I'm considering starting keto, but just for new mitochondria.

[2023] Sure.

[2024] You get a lot of mitochondria.

[2025] I need a new batch.

[2026] Might end or epilepsy.

[2027] Yeah.

[2028] Through keto.

[2029] Yeah.

[2030] But the epilepsy, we don't know if I have, but maybe.

[2031] You have epilepsy?

[2032] Well, I had two seizures, so I was diagnosed with epilepsy.

[2033] Yeah, that's what they say.

[2034] Credentialed people that went to an exclusive college.

[2035] That's right.

[2036] They actually did.

[2037] It was a very exclusive doctor.

[2038] I don't want to pick a stab here.

[2039] Very exclusive neurologist.

[2040] I don't want to pick a scab.

[2041] Yeah, not everyone can go to him.

[2042] That is true.

[2043] And that sucks.

[2044] Everyone deserves everyone.

[2045] Whether your epileptic or not deserves to go to your doctor.

[2046] They do.

[2047] We just learned about keto is used to treat kids with epilepsy.

[2048] That's where it came from.

[2049] We're a medication.

[2050] I guess, which I didn't know any of this.

[2051] But it's not just low carb.

[2052] I mean, it is like a balance of fat.

[2053] It's a balance.

[2054] It's more high fat than it is low carb, right?

[2055] Or it's a management of all that.

[2056] There's a bunch of ways you can.

[2057] do it.

[2058] I mean, ultimately, you just have to get into ketosis, which there are many ways to do that.

[2059] I've got one of those ketonics things.

[2060] Do you know what this is?

[2061] It's a, I'll send it to you because I use it and it was difficult, but if you're going to really use it, you blow into it because the key, the free ketones in your breath are more accurate than the sticks.

[2062] Oh, wow.

[2063] Yeah.

[2064] And I'll send it to you.

[2065] And it was, it was like an expensive thing and I kept it because I never, I'm out to you.

[2066] Oh, okay, great.

[2067] Yeah.

[2068] You're going to be honking on this ketone machine.

[2069] Yeah, exciting.

[2070] It's like, it's like a robot dick you put it in there you just blow and it lights up oh please don't blow in my penis there's gotta be a better way for you to monitor why did you have to involve me oh i know can you just not eat as much and leave me out of it yeah poor robot if you guys do anything by yourself Well, my God, I would hate to be human.

[2071] No personal responsibility.

[2072] Everything rolls downhill to us robots.

[2073] The robot is having an arc. He used to want to be a real boy really bad, and now he hates humans, I guess.

[2074] He plays both sides of it when it suits some.

[2075] Like we all do.

[2076] Of course.

[2077] Like real boys do.

[2078] Like real boys.

[2079] I will say with Mungaro, there are someday.

[2080] where I don't eat 500 calories because I have to remind myself to eat.

[2081] Now, I was telling Dax, he cooked a steak for me last night.

[2082] I hadn't really eaten all day.

[2083] We went hard last night.

[2084] We went hard last night.

[2085] We both had Oreos.

[2086] Took the reins off.

[2087] The whole thing was fantastic.

[2088] I hadn't had sugar in fucking three months.

[2089] It was delicious.

[2090] Those Oreos were delicious.

[2091] Oh, I got up in the middle of night and had some.

[2092] Yeah, a little more.

[2093] Yeah, it was sick.

[2094] I had a whole row, Monica, the gluten -free ones.

[2095] Oh, gluten -free.

[2096] Yeah, I saw him in the story yesterday.

[2097] That was impulse by.

[2098] He saw him.

[2099] It triggered him.

[2100] We had this beautiful, relatively healthy dinner.

[2101] We had a wedge and some steak.

[2102] Your steaks were great.

[2103] Thank you so much.

[2104] Those farmer markets.

[2105] I've been talking them up forever.

[2106] And I overcooked them, and they were still good.

[2107] It was still good.

[2108] But yeah, he had been triggered by the bag.

[2109] I had been.

[2110] And then we sat down and we got wild.

[2111] And they were just as good, the gluten -free?

[2112] Yeah.

[2113] Well, I had the red ones.

[2114] Oh, for Valentine's Day.

[2115] Or maybe Valentine's Day.

[2116] It was Christmas, yeah.

[2117] And they were delicious.

[2118] He said he even preferred the red ones, even though it says same great taste.

[2119] It was a total.

[2120] Psychosomatic.

[2121] Humans are animals.

[2122] It's true.

[2123] Easily fruit.

[2124] And I was like this taste.

[2125] I immediately tasted it and I was like this is red velvet cake.

[2126] And it's not.

[2127] Well, and do you know red velvet cake is chocolate cake?

[2128] Yeah, it's chocolate with red food color.

[2129] Is that all it is?

[2130] Pretty much.

[2131] Really?

[2132] Yeah.

[2133] There's not some proprietary.

[2134] It's more acidic.

[2135] It has like vinegar.

[2136] You add vinegar.

[2137] Red.

[2138] I'm trying to think one of those words.

[2139] And then mostly cream cheese.

[2140] You normally pair it with a cream cheese frosting, so that changes the whole dynamic, but the actual cake.

[2141] Crumb Chaz.

[2142] Yeah.

[2143] Oh, my God.

[2144] Very yummy.

[2145] That's my favorite cake.

[2146] That's a great.

[2147] No, your favorite cake is that, your wedding cake.

[2148] Yes, so good.

[2149] I'll send y 'all one of those.

[2150] Dessert designs.

[2151] We don't need one of those.

[2152] Don't do that, no. I'll send it with the keto thing, and you can blow out before.

[2153] Exactly.

[2154] Before you blow out.

[2155] Oh, my God.

[2156] Oh, my God.

[2157] You have zero ketas.

[2158] I sure prefer monica measuring her ketones that I did.

[2159] Huey, he seemed to enjoy it in a weird way I didn't understand.

[2160] I like the song part of the movie.

[2161] He can only speak in that song.

[2162] In a sing song.

[2163] Because he's worried that people will turn off from him if he speaks his normal voice, his robot voice.

[2164] Yeah, it's pretty sad.

[2165] Try to make it fun.

[2166] Well, Hughie's passed a test from the last fast guy.

[2167] Yes.

[2168] Yes, he's a good boy.

[2169] Yes, you're a good boy.

[2170] Some boys don't like the robot.

[2171] The robot's a recurring character.

[2172] You don't know this, but he's got it.

[2173] Yeah, I know.

[2174] So he started around Halloween, and there's a bunch of stuff you need to know about the robot.

[2175] He wants to go to a party with real boys.

[2176] They're going to let him in the party, but they tell him you cannot take a bath because you're a robot.

[2177] Okay.

[2178] Even though the real boys are going to take baths.

[2179] Okay.

[2180] Also, you've got to wipe your feet on the mat because it has some rust on it before you come in.

[2181] This is a whole thing.

[2182] There's a whole Bible to it.

[2183] I used to feel bad about not listening to your show and now I feel...

[2184] You feel like you made the right decision, learning about it.

[2185] It's like watching Kristen's movies.

[2186] I can't watch them because I know you and I can't listen to your thing because it's bullshit.

[2187] I get it.

[2188] I get it.

[2189] This is all a bunch of bullshit.

[2190] We're terrible people.

[2191] Clearly for you to hang out with us, we must be cancerous as well.

[2192] Yeah.

[2193] Yeah, you're parasites.

[2194] Flock together.

[2195] Anywho, the robot wants to be a real boy, as all robots do.

[2196] But some men hate the robot.

[2197] Why?

[2198] They've been vocal.

[2199] Well, we got into the psychology of that on the last fact check.

[2200] I think it's too weak in sweet.

[2201] It is.

[2202] I said I hate people who don't like the robot.

[2203] That was extreme.

[2204] I shouldn't have said that.

[2205] But you did pass the test.

[2206] Have you ever seen those books, Marcel the Shell?

[2207] Yeah.

[2208] I think that's the funniest.

[2209] thing that it is so cute it reminds me kind of Marcel the show yeah similar kind of innocence yeah the irony the irony of it the innocence you know i think that might be triggering for people oh yeah yeah that it would be yeah because you're supposed to be tough and jaded and yeah but it's only triggering males it also does not sound like your voice at all well it did lead to his antithesis like the on the opposite end of the spectrum is frito for media oh yeah oh no oh the sky Fuck you, you piece of shit.

[2210] Oh, no. Once he's unleashed, though, like, he just calms out whenever.

[2211] Someone put, I read a comment that someone wants to hear Frito and the robot have a conversation.

[2212] Oh, so we'll earmark that.

[2213] Interesting.

[2214] Would you have to cut that at different times?

[2215] No, I could do it at the same time.

[2216] Could you do it?

[2217] I don't think, I think you have less.

[2218] Oh, wait.

[2219] Oh, my God.

[2220] Yeah, you couldn't do it.

[2221] You're going to swallow that.

[2222] You're not careful.

[2223] Who's not the door?

[2224] I want to come to this party.

[2225] Fuck that.

[2226] There's only humans at this party because we rule.

[2227] I agree.

[2228] I'd love to be one to join you here.

[2229] You probably can't even eat any of the food we're eating.

[2230] I have a trapdoor in my belly.

[2231] What?

[2232] You got a trapdoor?

[2233] Those are awesome.

[2234] Oh, yeah.

[2235] We learned that Frito actually is in love with the robot.

[2236] Well, Frito doesn't know what he's doing.

[2237] But he is his, his.

[2238] He's in love with the robot.

[2239] Where did Trito come from?

[2240] Idiocracy.

[2241] Yeah, yeah.

[2242] You like sex and money?

[2243] We should hang out.

[2244] Yeah, he might be confused that the robot doesn't like sex or money.

[2245] That might be a stumbling block.

[2246] You don't like sex or money?

[2247] I think it's a matter of programming.

[2248] Yeah, it's a simple matter of programming.

[2249] You can just get an upgrade.

[2250] Okay, I just, there's just so many facts.

[2251] It's fun.

[2252] We don't need to do all of them.

[2253] Hit me with some.

[2254] We hijacked this, and I don't, I want to be.

[2255] respectful.

[2256] Were there any that you flat out saw lots of conflicting information that you feel like deserves a day in court?

[2257] Well, he said that, he said new mothers don't die.

[2258] Right.

[2259] And he probably just means some standard deviation above.

[2260] He, I don't, I don't even know if he meant that as a statistic.

[2261] What does that mean?

[2262] Okay.

[2263] He was saying care, if you're helping, your brain will protect you.

[2264] That's not necessary.

[2265] I mean, mothers also die in childbirth a lot.

[2266] Well, you're You are in the insurance racket, so you're actually the perfect person.

[2267] What I would argue he's saying, I don't know.

[2268] I'm not defending what he said.

[2269] But it is imaginable that there is a standard mortality rate for women between the ages of 24 and 28.

[2270] Yeah.

[2271] And let's say it's six in 10 ,000.

[2272] And they have found that women who are actively raising a child within the first year, their rate is actually three in 10 ,000.

[2273] That's conceivable.

[2274] Yeah, remarkably lower something.

[2275] Some deviation below.

[2276] It's very possible, but that to me is so correlation.

[2277] Like, it could just because then they're at their house.

[2278] They're like not out getting an accident or not.

[2279] There's a million.

[2280] How do we determine what the...

[2281] Yes.

[2282] So I think I don't want to say that as fact.

[2283] Women under 30 who work full time year round earned about 93 cents on the dollar compared with men in the same age range measured at that medium, but then past 30 switches.

[2284] Well, he was saying women now make more than men.

[2285] That's what I'm saying.

[2286] Under 30.

[2287] But you just said they make 93 cents or men make 93 cents to their $1.

[2288] Yeah.

[2289] Women under 30 who work full -time year -round earn about 93 cents on the dollar compared with men in the same age range measured at the median.

[2290] That contradicts that.

[2291] You're right.

[2292] They're trying to say it's pretty equal, but I guess still lower.

[2293] Okay.

[2294] And the Hayes has gone up every year that we've been married.

[2295] But compared to her male count.

[2296] counterparts.

[2297] She's getting less.

[2298] Oh, I see compared.

[2299] I understand.

[2300] Okay.

[2301] But his main focus is, okay, currently admissions rates at NYU, it's like 70 % female, 30 % male or 60 % female.

[2302] It's flipped.

[2303] It used to be predominantly male.

[2304] Now it's 60 % women going to college, 40 % men.

[2305] So there's a disparity of the futures that men have ahead of them the current curve and then compounding that is that men date horizontally or down socioeconomically women date horizontally or up socioeconomically so their pool is getting smaller and they're going up so the whole thing now is getting like compounded compound and compounded where there's going to be this staggering mate issue does that make sense yes it does you have less high -achieving males in women are going to want to date either on their level or above and their levels rising so what the fuck's going to happen i think it's interesting i've always worked in corporate america and i've always had i've always worked i would think just anecdotally with considerably more women than i have men now in my particular field right now it's predominant vast majority are men in the specific thing that i do of the 150 people that are in my group 125 of them are men probably.

[2306] Wow.

[2307] That's guessing.

[2308] But the people that we report, in terms of like our clients, the end user of our product, vast majority are women.

[2309] Interesting.

[2310] I had a lot of women managers.

[2311] I never thought twice about having a female manager or a bunch of female co -roar.

[2312] It was just part of the deal.

[2313] You walked in and there was a bunch of women.

[2314] But that says a bit about when you entered the workforce.

[2315] Like, there was no transition for you.

[2316] Like, for your dad, that would have been a stark environment for him to walk into.

[2317] All of his partners were men and the vast men.

[2318] Well, the only administrative staff were women.

[2319] HR.

[2320] Or payroll.

[2321] It was payroll.

[2322] That's what ruined America is when payroll went to HR.

[2323] Okay.

[2324] Also, one other thing just to poke a little hole in, he said kids who grow up in low -income households have high -resting, blood pressure.

[2325] And that's true, but there's a lot of studies that it's also just because they're less likely to be treated.

[2326] Right.

[2327] There's got to be so many factors, right?

[2328] The diet's different.

[2329] The access to health care is different.

[2330] The stress of the household's different.

[2331] I think he's pointing toward the stress.

[2332] But yes, there's many factors.

[2333] And one just being that they don't, like, they don't have money so they don't go to the doctor.

[2334] And then they.

[2335] Although there was this weird gap in my town.

[2336] and I've talked about this before, Aaron was getting much better health care than I was because if you qualified for Medicaid, you had pretty good health care.

[2337] So really in my town of like lower middle class people, there was a, the bigger strata was like the homeowners.

[2338] Yeah.

[2339] And they would take him to the doctor?

[2340] Who would take who?

[2341] Like his parents?

[2342] The government.

[2343] Aaron like, Yeah, Aaron had an asthma specialist.

[2344] I didn't.

[2345] He had like inhalers.

[2346] He like, he had, he had, Medicare.

[2347] But I think it's also like often, if the parents are working, like trying to work or piecing it, it's like hard to take the kids to the doctor.

[2348] Well, again, his mother was just raising kids.

[2349] Mine was at work nonstop.

[2350] So it didn't, it shook out weirdly in my town, which is like, if you were lower middle class, you might have had the worst health care.

[2351] You deserved it, though.

[2352] Yeah.

[2353] Yeah, obviously.

[2354] Well, it made me so strong.

[2355] So, uh, virus resistant.

[2356] Viral.

[2357] Vigorous and potent.

[2358] I think that's enough.

[2359] That was it?

[2360] Yeah.

[2361] Okay.

[2362] Oh, wait, one thing.

[2363] The book, he said it's called Boys to Men.

[2364] It's called Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves, why the modern male is struggling, why it matters and what to do about.

[2365] I'm glad that's the title because I thought, okay, this person's making a play on the 80s boys band.

[2366] I know.

[2367] I was like, I don't like that.

[2368] He's still kind of.

[2369] Well, now he's doing a Steinbeck rip -off of mice and men.

[2370] Prefer that to boys to men.

[2371] I do, what was that, what's that song?

[2372] The one that I'll make love to you.

[2373] I'll make love.

[2374] Yes, that was, yeah, I don't even know if I knew that was boys to men.

[2375] That's what took him from boyhood to manhood.

[2376] Wow.

[2377] That's it.

[2378] Wow.

[2379] One of my great joys of 2022 was borrowing Huey's car when we were in Nashville for an appointment and Huey is still running CDs hard and what he has is a BeeG's greatest hits live my mom has that box set live live I mean the live aspect is just a whole other shape to the equation when I started your car in this car right you're not really expecting it's an executive sedan yeah and then that comes on the high -fi and I just made me love you even more.

[2380] What car?

[2381] What kind of car?

[2382] A BMW 7 series.

[2383] That's nice.

[2384] Would you have picked that for Huey?

[2385] Absolutely.

[2386] You helped me pick it.

[2387] Yeah, we talked about the Audi.

[2388] Because he left an X -5.

[2389] Yeah.

[2390] That was his previous car, which was fine.

[2391] That was fine for him.

[2392] It was good for the kids and all that.

[2393] But it didn't scream what he needs.

[2394] Mixed messages.

[2395] He needs to float down the road, listen to that live VG sound.

[2396] Yeah.

[2397] The California car.

[2398] They shipped it to me from California.

[2399] It was a lease return.

[2400] and the person lived in Manhattan Beach because their address was still in the, if you hit home and the navigation.

[2401] I looked him up, he's like a dentist.

[2402] You should have driven over there on this visit.

[2403] I should have.

[2404] I shook his hands.

[2405] I wanted you to see the face of the man who's operating your vehicle.

[2406] It's in great hands.

[2407] It's in great hands.

[2408] I've got that 12 -stack CD player in the trunk loaded up.

[2409] I didn't even know a car of this era had a CD player.

[2410] Is it a single slot or is it?

[2411] Single.

[2412] It's not in the glove compartment.

[2413] No, it's not a changer.

[2414] It is a carousel.

[2415] But they still put it in there.

[2416] But you know, if you listen.

[2417] Yeah, the quality.

[2418] The quality on the CD is better.

[2419] And I like the, I like being able to put it in the slots.

[2420] Sure, and it goes, z. Yes, and I'm not fooling with my phone.

[2421] Yeah, that's true.

[2422] The whole thing.

[2423] It's very consistent with who you are.

[2424] It's your conservative.

[2425] It's reflective of a simpler time.

[2426] Yes.

[2427] When you just put that thing.

[2428] It's like simpler and also not.

[2429] Much more complicated.

[2430] I know.

[2431] And I can compartmentalize it and put it away when I'm done with it.

[2432] Do you have a book in your car, the CD?

[2433] Oh, I have it on my visor.

[2434] Oh, sure.

[2435] Sure, sure.

[2436] Of course.

[2437] I had that in high school.

[2438] Yeah.

[2439] It drives itself.

[2440] You know, like I put the thing on there.

[2441] It'll steer itself.

[2442] Oh, really?

[2443] Yeah.

[2444] They've got the radar cruise, all that.

[2445] Insert your BGs, put it on autopilot.

[2446] Put it on autopilot.

[2447] pop a Prozac, you know, a Xanax and get in the back seat.

[2448] Oh, wow.

[2449] Take a two -minute nap.

[2450] Yeah, you know, Alden got in it yesterday, or not yesterday last week and goes, Dad, I really, Daddy, he's four.

[2451] Diddy?

[2452] Did he?

[2453] I really like your car.

[2454] I said, well, thank you.

[2455] I said, what do you like so much about it?

[2456] He goes, it's just delightful.

[2457] Oh.

[2458] It's delightful.

[2459] You don't know what that word mean?

[2460] Who has told you that?

[2461] You, it sounds like something you definitely say.

[2462] It is a delightful car.

[2463] It's a lovely car.

[2464] Monica, any fun, oh, I guess it's time for flightless bird for you guys.

[2465] It's been two hours.

[2466] It's okay.

[2467] It only felt like 40 minutes.

[2468] I know.

[2469] It did go fast.

[2470] I can't believe it's been too many.

[2471] All right.

[2472] Then I'll get updates from your fun, Seinfeld updates.

[2473] We'll update any old day.

[2474] I am going to have a bowl of fruity pebbles.

[2475] Those are delicious.

[2476] All right.

[2477] Well, I love you guys.

[2478] Thanks for hanging out here.

[2479] This is an honor.

[2480] What a spectrum, both from the South, so different.

[2481] Yeah.

[2482] Love both of you.

[2483] House divided.

[2484] That's right.

[2485] Cannot stand.

[2486] I feel privileged.

[2487] I just want to publicly thank.

[2488] We have Huey to thank for our obsession with George Washington's teeth.

[2489] And when we eventually have a place in Nashville, first order of business.

[2490] Mount Vernon.

[2491] We're going to Mount Vernon.

[2492] Oh, fun.

[2493] To look at George Washington's teeth.

[2494] They're there.

[2495] There is a there there.

[2496] You've already seen them, right?

[2497] Oh, I put them in my mouth.

[2498] Yeah, no, I've seen them.

[2499] They're fascinating.

[2500] Whoa.

[2501] You know, I watched a fascinating documentary.

[2502] I think it was a, well, Lucy Worsley, BBC.

[2503] Y 'all know who she is?

[2504] She does great documentaries on the BBC, or it may have been another one.

[2505] There's another woman that does them.

[2506] But years ago, you know, centuries ago, they would keep the register for everyone that died, right?

[2507] You would have mortality data.

[2508] Yeah.

[2509] Very basic.

[2510] Like Bob Jones died this date of, and he would have an, of.

[2511] and he would say fall.

[2512] Agricultural action.

[2513] Agriculture, fall, wound, broken arm, broken leg.

[2514] Yeah.

[2515] I don't want to misquote this, but I think more than anything or what stood out as a major cause of death, they would list it as teeth.

[2516] Oh, my God.

[2517] And it would like where people would get septicemia or what, you know, I don't know what it was.

[2518] You can have heart attacks, rotting, because your teeth would rot.

[2519] And it went up after the new world was discovered, and sugar consumption shot through the roof.

[2520] The teeth became a leading cause of death.

[2521] Wow.

[2522] And it took them a while to understand why it would be listed as teeth, and then one day it was like, oh, well, because your teeth were rotting.

[2523] And that they didn't have a lot of dental issues or didn't have the level of dental issues that we do now or did after the consumption of sugar, discovery of cheap sugar.

[2524] Yum. Yum. Bon Appetit.

[2525] Yeah.

[2526] Who's ready for fruity pepper?

[2527] All right.

[2528] Love you guys.

[2529] Love you.

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