The Ramsey Show XX
[0] from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions.
[1] It's the Ramsey Show.
[2] We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.
[3] Ken Coleman -Ramsi personality, host of the Ken Coleman Show, number one best -selling author.
[4] He's my co -host today.
[5] Open phones here at AAA -825 -5 -2 -2 -25.
[6] That's AAA 825 -5 -22.
[7] Gabriel is starting this hour in Atlanta, Georgia.
[8] Hi, Gabriel.
[9] How are you?
[10] I'm great, sir.
[11] How are you, guys?
[12] Better than we deserve.
[13] How can we help?
[14] Well, I just find out that my wife has $70 ,000 in bed from her previous marriage.
[15] And I don't know what to do, sir.
[16] She wants to file bankrupt, and I'm freaking out.
[17] Okay.
[18] How long have you been married?
[19] three months whoa yeah so you guys didn't talk about money before you got married yes you're saying she hid this from you she did sir okay um what is the nature what kind of debt is it okay so i have all the information here uh she wasn't an abusive relationship and her ex -husband took everything for her and And they together had a car repo that equals $50 ,000.
[20] Mm -hmm.
[21] She had a car loan that she got screwed that equals $12 ,000.
[22] Had a what?
[23] A car loan.
[24] A car loan is $50 ,000.
[25] I got that.
[26] What was the second thing?
[27] It's a car loan that she needed to get a new car for her.
[28] Oh, another car loan.
[29] Yeah, another car loan.
[30] That's right, sir.
[31] and she got $60 ,000 in collection and $2 ,000 a credit card.
[32] All right, I'm sorry, I thought you said it was $70 ,000.
[33] $70 ,000, that's right.
[34] Okay, $50 ,000 on a car repo?
[35] Yes, sir.
[36] Okay, and what's the other $20 ,000?
[37] $12 ,000 in a car loan.
[38] Okay, do you have the car?
[39] Yeah, she does have the car right now.
[40] Okay, she's driving a car around and you're engaged to her, and you didn't know it had a car loan on it.
[41] I do know that she had this 12 ,000 car loan.
[42] Oh, okay.
[43] So you didn't know part of this.
[44] Okay.
[45] Yeah.
[46] And then the other 8 ,000 is what?
[47] It's 6 ,000 in collections.
[48] On what?
[49] And 2 ,000 and credit card.
[50] Collections on what?
[51] Medical bills.
[52] Okay, medical.
[53] Good.
[54] All right.
[55] And then what was the other one?
[56] What's the fourth one?
[57] What?
[58] Medical bills and a dog.
[59] A dog, okay.
[60] Yes.
[61] That's the $6 ,000.
[62] Okay, is there anything?
[63] I've got three things.
[64] Car loan, car repo, $6 ,000 in medical bills.
[65] You got anything else?
[66] $2 ,000 in credit cards.
[67] Oh, okay.
[68] All right.
[69] And what of this did you not know?
[70] Well, pretty much everything besides the $12 ,000 car loan that she had it.
[71] Okay.
[72] That she's still having right now.
[73] Where's the dog?
[74] The dog died.
[75] funny sounds like a country song yeah yeah it's it's a lot of stuff going on so what what do you do for a Gabriel what do you do for a living and what do you make I'm a banker and I make $23 an hour okay all right and what does she do and what does she make she's a receptionist and she make the same as me $23 an hour.
[76] Okay, and you're both working at home pay at $5 ,000 a month.
[77] Yeah, okay.
[78] So you're making about 80 grand between the two of you, and you're getting home with about $60.
[79] Okay.
[80] Yes, sir.
[81] So I really don't know what to do.
[82] How old are you two?
[83] I'm 23 and she's 25.
[84] Okay.
[85] How long was she married before?
[86] For eight years.
[87] Okay.
[88] Okay, there's two things here.
[89] First off, let's just go ahead and tell you, she's not bankrupt, not even close.
[90] Okay.
[91] So bankruptcy is ridiculous.
[92] We're not even going to talk about that.
[93] There's two things to be addressed here if I'm in your shoes.
[94] In our world, we call this financial infidelity where a wife or a husband hides and lies about money to their spouse.
[95] Okay?
[96] It's a breach of trust.
[97] And some people in marriage counseling say that this breach of trust is almost, as bad, and even some say worse, I don't know how, but than sexual infidelity.
[98] It's a breach of trust.
[99] When you betray or you lie to your spouse about $50 freaking ,000, it touches the same nerves that infidelity touches.
[100] Do you follow me?
[101] Because it's a breach of trust.
[102] Because then you start to wonder what else can I not trust?
[103] What else is going on?
[104] Right?
[105] Yeah, I'm very.
[106] I really don't know what to do, sir.
[107] I try everything that I can.
[108] I'm starting a DoorDash and drive an Uber, but it's not enough to pay $50 ,000.
[109] Let me deal with the tactical in a minute.
[110] The first thing, are you guys in a good church?
[111] Yes, sir.
[112] We are.
[113] Okay, call the church and set up marriage counseling today.
[114] Because the two of you have to deal with this breach of trust.
[115] This is a major issue in your marriage, okay?
[116] When you find out three months after you got married that your wife has lied to you about major stuff, that's a problem in your marriage, okay?
[117] That's a big one.
[118] It's a big old problem.
[119] I'm more worried about that than I am the 70 grand, dude.
[120] You're a banker and you're a nerd, so you're more worried about 70 grand.
[121] So I'm trying to explain to you, 70 grand ain't nothing.
[122] We can take care of that.
[123] The lying and the deception has got to, you know, there's got to be repentance on that.
[124] I don't know whether it was shame that kept her from telling you.
[125] you or she knew you were going to freak out or I don't know what it was it and why she didn't tell you but that's a big deal yeah I understand and uh she don't want to get in touch with her ex -husband she was very very abused by by the guy I don't need to get in touch with him why would we need to get in touch with him to I don't know deal this car repo for you're all way back over on fixing it again without dealing with the marriage problem dude I'm telling you 80 % of this problem is her lying about this.
[126] 20 % is cleaning up the mess.
[127] I can clean up the mess here in no time.
[128] But I got to get you to understand.
[129] Are you going to call the church and get you some counseling today?
[130] Yes, I will, sir.
[131] Okay, both of you go.
[132] Because you've got to explain to her what this did that this, because you can't go here again.
[133] This is deal -ending stuff.
[134] It's an integrity breach.
[135] And so now, here's what we're going to do.
[136] It's pretty simple.
[137] The medical bills are in default.
[138] They're in collections, correct?
[139] Yes, sir.
[140] Are the credit cards in collections?
[141] As well.
[142] Good.
[143] Okay, and they're cut up.
[144] Is the car loan that she's driving current?
[145] Let me just ask you something, sir.
[146] She got screwed up by these guys.
[147] Sir, her car, it's worth it $3 ,000.
[148] Is the car loan current?
[149] Yes.
[150] Okay.
[151] pay it off or work your way out of it depending on what you're going to do there all the rest of these gabriel can be negotiated with for probably 10 to 15 cents on the dollar so you've got 64 ,000 dollars that can probably be settled for six or eight thousand bucks but you're going to start calling them and offering them 10 cents on the dollar to settle and every one of them will take it you're just got to a hard line negotiate with them and get it in writing before you give them money you can work your way through this stuff hold on we're going to to put you through Financial Peace University.
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