Seth Meyers

[0] Hello, everybody.

[1] Welcome to armchair expert.

[2] I'm Dax Shepard.

[3] Across for me is...

[4] Anika Padman.

[5] You always nail it.

[6] You always remember your name and I appreciate it.

[7] Thank you.

[8] I have a very good memory.

[9] Yeah, especially for your name.

[10] I get a little anxiety as I throw it to you that you're going to trip up.

[11] I might forget it.

[12] Yeah.

[13] There's always a chance.

[14] Deborah Padman.

[15] And I'd be like, oof.

[16] Monica, yeah.

[17] Take two.

[18] You went ahead and changed out Monica.

[19] for Debra.

[20] I wish.

[21] I do not like my name.

[22] Really?

[23] Yeah.

[24] Oh, I think it's a great name.

[25] Thanks.

[26] Yeah, I'm sorry to all the monicas out there.

[27] I don't mean to hate, but it's a bad name.

[28] Can I tell you the funniest thing about my grandmother?

[29] Sure.

[30] You actually already know this, I think.

[31] Okay.

[32] But my sweet Grandma Midge down in Florida, loveliest little lady.

[33] Her birth name is Madeline.

[34] I love that.

[35] It's beautiful.

[36] I mean, there's a book series called Madeline.

[37] There's cookies named Madeline, whatever.

[38] And she found that name to be so grotesque that she went by midge.

[39] She thought midge was much prettier than Madeline.

[40] That says so much about her.

[41] It says everything about her.

[42] Well, it's just a ton about her generation because she said that was like a grandparent name.

[43] Madeline.

[44] Yeah, it'd be like if you're named Bertha right now, that still resonates as a grandma.

[45] but maybe in 18 years, Bertha will seem beautiful again.

[46] They do circle back.

[47] Yeah, Martha.

[48] Uh -huh, uh -huh.

[49] Martha's just kind of making its way back, I guess.

[50] We, on our trip to New York, where we did a couple live shows in Brooklyn, which was so fun.

[51] So fun.

[52] We then scampered around the city and just picked off people we've been dying to talk to, but live in New York.

[53] That's right.

[54] And one of those folks was the esteemed Seth, Myers.

[55] That's right.

[56] It was a big get, you guys.

[57] It was a very big get.

[58] It was very generous of him.

[59] He's got a very packed schedule.

[60] Oh, yeah.

[61] We basically ambushed the office.

[62] We did.

[63] We kind of just burst through the doors of the 30 Rock security.

[64] And then squatted in his office.

[65] That's not true.

[66] He was very quick to say yes and to make time and he set us up in the conference room.

[67] So we were out of our element.

[68] And we had a very tasty pizza while we waited.

[69] Yes.

[70] In fact, I was a little full when this started.

[71] Sure.

[72] So if you've sensed any fullness, lethargy.

[73] Lethargy.

[74] Lethargy.

[75] Lethargy.

[76] I think lethargy.

[77] Yeah, that's the cheese talking.

[78] I was lethargic and there's a little bit of lethargy going on.

[79] That's just the cheese's fault, not your hosts.

[80] Sure.

[81] Blame the cheese.

[82] Seth Myers, amazing writer on Saturday Night Live, amazing weekend update, host.

[83] And then, of course, his show spectacular.

[84] You know it.

[85] And you'll hear me say this.

[86] I have such a boner for people who are hard workers.

[87] It's like my ultimate turn on.

[88] Me too.

[89] This guy's one of those.

[90] Before we go to Seth, I just want to let you guys know that there is a bonus episode on Thursday in a few days that is the first release of our live shows.

[91] We will be now doing them out.

[92] I know a lot of people are anxiously awaiting some of the people they found out were guests.

[93] And we are now getting to those guests.

[94] So sit tight and get ready for the first.

[95] first of our live shows that'll be in a few days.

[96] So please enjoy Seth Myers.

[97] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and add free right now.

[98] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[99] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[100] He's an armchair expert.

[101] He's an upchair expert.

[102] How many have you done?

[103] 5560.

[104] It was pretty nice, getting that many people to come.

[105] We should talk about that, in fact, because when you started your show, were you in the position to have to, like, call in favors or ask friends at the beginning?

[106] Yeah, and I had no luck.

[107] Oh, you did?

[108] Well, it was really for, like, the first week.

[109] Okay.

[110] I shouldn't say I had no luck.

[111] I had a little bit of luck.

[112] But the first week.

[113] Yeah.

[114] First show was polar and vice president Joe Biden.

[115] It was a good first show.

[116] That's really big.

[117] Did you have any kind of friendship with Biden?

[118] No. Okay.

[119] Not, no. All right.

[120] So that was nice of him to do.

[121] Yeah.

[122] And Brad Paisley, I'm friendly with Brad Paisley.

[123] He did our first week.

[124] Kelly Rippa did our first week, friendly with her.

[125] Uh -huh.

[126] Paisley's a very nice guy, right?

[127] Paisley, do you know the story about how I knew Brad Paisley?

[128] No. Brad Pais, you know my sister -in -law, Ariel Ash.

[129] That's right.

[130] Kristen's best friend from college.

[131] Kristen's best friend from college.

[132] The week of our wedding, Ariel knows Brad Paisley's wife's sister.

[133] Perfect.

[134] Via that, my wife's a huge country music fan, a huge Brad Faisley fan.

[135] Is they from Oklahoma or something like that, St. Missouri?

[136] They're from New Mexico.

[137] They really kind of counts.

[138] That doesn't explain it then.

[139] Sorry.

[140] They are, she writes and says, would you want to play at Seth Meyer's wedding?

[141] I do not know this man. Right, right, right.

[142] And he says, sure, I'm a huge S &L fan.

[143] I'd happily do it.

[144] But I need to hear from Seth.

[145] I don't want to just show up and have the groom be surprised I'm coming.

[146] Yeah.

[147] So I had to email him and say, this would be great.

[148] And he, and Kim Williams, who ironic, I'm not ironically, I should say, coincidentally, I went to college with Kim.

[149] I didn't know her, but she was a big deal.

[150] Yeah, Kim Williams, who was father of the bride, and did that when she was in college.

[151] She was the biggest deal at Northwestern.

[152] Uh -huh.

[153] And so they flew themselves to Martha's Vineyard, and my father -in -law had them stop and pick up alcohol.

[154] Oh, my God.

[155] They also made him do an errand.

[156] And we've been friends with them ever since.

[157] but it was and it surprised my wife and it was such a boon for me because my wife and I had gone to one dancing class to learn a first dance and I'm a terrible dancer and the only person who's a worst dancer than I am is my wife Alexi and I was dreading it I was dreading that we had this moment during our wedding I've spent my whole career trying to avoid the things I'm bad at sure sure and I didn't in front of everybody want to do a thing I was bad at and then our surprise was that it was Brad Paisley And she was so in awe and shocked that we just kind of rocked back and forth while she watched them.

[158] And we totally did not have to do that first dance.

[159] Oh, that's wonderful.

[160] Yeah.

[161] Where do you guys go to take a dance class?

[162] Somewhere in Manhattan.

[163] We were sent somewhere.

[164] Like a private instruction?

[165] Private instruction.

[166] Yeah, a private instruction where we, like, choreographed one specific to us.

[167] You did?

[168] Yeah.

[169] Okay.

[170] And I think when it's over, the plan would be for the dance instructor to say, you guys are going to be great.

[171] you're going to knock it out of the park.

[172] And ours was very much.

[173] So you guys, you need to practice.

[174] Right, right, right, right.

[175] You're going to need to run this a couple hundred times.

[176] What's interesting is I fancy myself a good dancer.

[177] I'm going to brag for a second.

[178] Yet, when I've been in a movie where they've had to do a dance number, which has happened a couple times, I'm very bad at taking the instruction.

[179] There's something about the mirror image of it all.

[180] Like they're moving their right hand and then I'm confused.

[181] Oh, yeah, I wouldn't be able to do that.

[182] It's hard, right?

[183] Yeah.

[184] We used to do that at S &L, and that's a situation where there aren't a lot of great dancers in an S &L cast.

[185] Okay.

[186] And I think there are probably some pretty good comedy dancers, but every now and then when there's...

[187] Well, Polar's a great dancer, funnily enough.

[188] And she would do a very...

[189] I think she would be one of the go -toes for if you needed a backup dancers for a monologue.

[190] But the few times I had to do that, it was gruesome.

[191] Like hip -hop in general, she can kind of...

[192] Yeah.

[193] She seems to really be able to do.

[194] And she came up in a really fun era of hip hop where there was actual popular hip hop was danceable.

[195] That's right.

[196] And there was prescriptive dances.

[197] Like I remember as a kid even, like the running man, you'd see it.

[198] You could spend an hour or two doing it and you could learn it.

[199] Yeah.

[200] You didn't really, you were never out on your own.

[201] You kind of just could do these set dances.

[202] There's that interesting thing right now where I, part of me is thinking, yeah, that doesn't happen anymore.

[203] But then I realized if it was happening, it wouldn't get to me. Yeah, yeah.

[204] There's not.

[205] There probably are prescriptive dances right now, but I've aged out of it.

[206] There seems to be one where people move their hands one way and their hips the opposite way.

[207] Very popular.

[208] Well, now, I don't play it, but there's, what's the game that everybody, all the kids play?

[209] It's a video game.

[210] Oh, dance dance revolution or something?

[211] No, no, Fortnite.

[212] That's like 12 years ago.

[213] I know, yeah.

[214] Yeah, that is now.

[215] Oh, okay, Fortnite, and it strikes a lot of my friends who have older kids than mine say their kids play it, And there's a dancing element.

[216] Like, if you win the game, your character does a dance.

[217] Oh, well, that?

[218] But you pay.

[219] And again, for those listening who know this, I apologize.

[220] And to the owners of Fortnite.

[221] I think they're very happy that they're just gaming.

[222] But I think you can buy dances.

[223] Like, that's a way, because the game is free to play.

[224] But the way they get you is.

[225] To dance.

[226] It's paying for a dance partner.

[227] Yeah.

[228] There's always a way.

[229] There's always a way.

[230] Yeah, pretty much hourly now.

[231] It's occurring.

[232] to me. And you're roughly the same age.

[233] Yeah, I think we're in the ballpark.

[234] And in so many ways, I'm cresting that hill into what I remember older men to be like.

[235] Yeah.

[236] And it's very confusing, isn't it?

[237] Because a lot of times I'm like, oh, the world's changing for the worst on some given topic.

[238] And then I go, no, this is probably just what the world changing feels like, no matter what generation you're in, right?

[239] Yes.

[240] There nobody, the world is no longer aiming for your approval.

[241] Right.

[242] So the world is just, we are now not that interesting to the world at large.

[243] No. And you and I have spent a great deal of time trying to accomplish some things and achieve a kind of living.

[244] And now we're in preservation mode almost.

[245] We're like, oh, wait, that was the dream and I got it.

[246] Now let's just keep everything cool so I can enjoy this for a minute.

[247] Yeah, you're right.

[248] It's absolutely transitioned from the chase to the maintaining the lead.

[249] We are a dangerous place.

[250] Yeah, we're a football team playing prevent defense, which is a very dangerous place to be.

[251] It is.

[252] But Letterman's show, which I got so excited to watch on Netflix, it comes out, it's clearly a great show.

[253] There's no, it's a great show.

[254] But he and his guests are in reflection preservation mode, as they should be at their age.

[255] Right.

[256] Like to watch he and Obama kind of just preserve all this amazing, with good reason.

[257] They've done such a great job.

[258] Yeah.

[259] They want to protect it.

[260] But I fell in love with the Letterman who was building the thing.

[261] Yeah.

[262] And breaking the rules and being dangerous.

[263] There was a great Letterman book that came out a couple years ago, and you just realized that the breakneck pace of being also so inventive is an impossible thing to maintain.

[264] It's unsustainable.

[265] Yeah.

[266] And you listen to Stern, yeah?

[267] Not with any regularity, but a huge fan when I do.

[268] And have you heard Letterman?

[269] on Stern.

[270] Yeah.

[271] He seems to have this great awareness once he had a kid that he probably spent too much time focusing on that show.

[272] Sure.

[273] And I would imagine it's nearly impossible to avoid that trap.

[274] You work a shitload, right?

[275] Like you and I are friendly.

[276] I happen to be friends, friends with Kimmel where I actually know what his life looks like.

[277] Yeah.

[278] And I know it's an incredibly hard job.

[279] It is, I will say, a huge benefit to my career was that the job, I had before it was worldwide harder.

[280] Yes.

[281] Even though it was half the weeks, you know, it's a 20 -week job SNL versus this 40 -week job.

[282] It's amazing the difference of doing, working on Saturday.

[283] Like how much worse that makes your life.

[284] Yeah.

[285] When you only have one day off.

[286] And basically your job ended at 5 a .m. on Sunday morning.

[287] So that's the element people don't recognize either.

[288] There's a 12 -hour celebration that follows the show.

[289] And it's the reward for this terrible thing you put yourself to.

[290] So even though people would say, why don't you just one of those weeks just not go to the party?

[291] That seems no one can wrap their head around that.

[292] Or certainly I could never wrap my head around that.

[293] I'm sure there people are healthier than I am that did go home every now and then.

[294] But the other thing about this job versus that job was every day here at least is the same in that.

[295] You come in at the same time.

[296] The meetings happen at the same time.

[297] the show tapes at the same time and so your body gets used to it which is the other bad side of S &L is every night is different you know there are nights that are all -nighters and they're dates you have to get in super early for a pre -tape and so you never your internal biology never fully adjusted it and you can't schedule right you just never know you could never stake out put a flag and a date for a doctor's appointment you probably didn't go to the doctors for how long were you at S &L I was there for 12 and a half years you were yeah holy shit I think it was second all time at the time.

[298] Keenan has since knocked me down and notch.

[299] But I'm still...

[300] I mean, I think that show's going to be on a long time for me to fall out of the top ten.

[301] Yeah.

[302] You're like Akeem or Abdul -Jabbar.

[303] He's like...

[304] Yeah.

[305] Anytime someone's circling like a lifetime points thing, he comes back up on the board.

[306] Right.

[307] I didn't even say his name right.

[308] Kareem Abdul -Jabar.

[309] He's probably listening.

[310] I was about to say Hakeem Olajuwon, who's also up there too.

[311] He's probably both out there.

[312] And both of them, deserve further accomplishments to have their names set at least closer.

[313] So by comparison, this is manageable to you.

[314] Yeah.

[315] The other thing is, I think it's helpful for someone like me to hear Letterman say stuff like that.

[316] And, you know, one of my huge fears coming into doing this show was that there were, you know, we already knew a lot from books about this stuff and from, you know, the Bill Carter books and from TV movies, like these jobs chewed people up.

[317] And so the main thing I came into it was trying very hard not to let that happen and trying to manage the show in a way that, look, it's hard and there are very few days that I would categorize as easy.

[318] But like life happiness is still a main goal for us.

[319] Yeah.

[320] I guess, yeah, when I had gone from doing movies for several years.

[321] And then I got on parenthood and I was on that for six years.

[322] And to your point, I loved that I went to the same place every day.

[323] I, you know, I could predict my life a little bit.

[324] I wasn't out of town.

[325] I could make a doctor's appointment.

[326] And that part was really nice.

[327] And, you know, it was a good project.

[328] Like, that's the other thing.

[329] Yeah.

[330] You know, you're...

[331] I care less and less about that now, but...

[332] Right.

[333] Yeah, yeah.

[334] But, you know, it speaks to how lucky you can be in this job.

[335] Like, this is a consistent gig that I also like.

[336] I mean, certainly we've seen people...

[337] Or you can tell there are people who are maybe on wildly successful shows that are miserable.

[338] Yeah.

[339] Yeah.

[340] It seems to almost be equal to the amount that are happy, which is more a condition of people who pursue this in the first place, right?

[341] Yeah.

[342] And just the idea that any success, yeah, you feel this whole business.

[343] And certainly people who represent you make you think that every success is therefore leading you to another success.

[344] And no one ever says, hey, this might be the success.

[345] A hundred percent.

[346] Yeah, like I just, I was just talking to Jason Biggs.

[347] and it's like he had American Pie and he did four of them and for a minute he was resentful about it but then you must remind yourself also like 99 .9 % of people don't even get an American Pie like that itself is lightning and to be frustrated that the lightning didn't strike over and over again it's really odds -wise.

[348] And then I think it's interesting especially with some like American Pie you realize oh that is just going to keep coming around for him as a thing for life.

[349] something like obviously this is not the night this podcast is going to be released but ron livingston's on the show tonight and you know just going through the research you realize like office space is something that you know he's the rest of his life you know it's going to be a thing that he gets to represent yeah now something i didn't realize till today until i was reading about you as people don't read about their friends i would never been inclined to had that i did not I've not done this show.

[350] But you lived in Michigan for four, eight years or something.

[351] Not quite that long, but a while.

[352] Yeah, four to ten, is that right?

[353] Ocimus.

[354] Ocimus, Michigan.

[355] You went to elementary school there?

[356] Yeah, Edgewood Elementary.

[357] So I feel like maybe we have similar experiences with blue collar, playground violence.

[358] There was, I mean, there was some playground violence.

[359] I don't, I don't recall it as being particularly traumatic.

[360] Okay.

[361] I just went, my mom was going to grader.

[362] grad school in Michigan State and I did maybe like three or four years ago I did something in Michigan State and it was the first I drove by my old house which I hadn't driven by I hadn't been there for 31 years I think and it was it was incredibly surreal mostly just how you know the scale of it was so much smaller and my head we had this football size field next to our house and then you go and it's just a corridor 7 ,000 square foot lot it just nothing All that stuff.

[363] Yeah.

[364] The one that blew my mind was Larry Leclair was my seventh grade English teacher.

[365] And he was most certainly six foot seven.

[366] There's no question about it.

[367] He was six foot seven.

[368] He was also the coach of our basketball team.

[369] 15 years ago, I was at home.

[370] You know, back in Michigan, I'm in the grocery store, I'm like, I can look so much like Larry Leclair, but it cannot be Larry Leclair because I'm taller than him.

[371] And I really stared at him for like five minutes before.

[372] I was like, oh, no, he just wasn't six, seven.

[373] Yeah.

[374] You're now taller than Larry Leclair.

[375] It's freaky.

[376] And then you moved to New Hampshire.

[377] Yeah.

[378] Yeah.

[379] And what's the beautiful lake there that on Golden Pond was shot at?

[380] Winipasaki.

[381] Winipasaki.

[382] Were you close to that at all?

[383] No, we were like two and a half hours away, but I feel like everyone knew at least one or two people who had a lakehouse up there.

[384] Yeah.

[385] We one time went on vacation there because there's also a huge motorcycle race in New Hampshire every year.

[386] It's one of the bike weeks.

[387] La Conia?

[388] Yeah.

[389] And I've been up in the lakes region when that happens.

[390] And it's really a thing.

[391] It's terrifying, right?

[392] It changes the state.

[393] Sure.

[394] Well, when I went as a kid, my stepdad raced motorcycles.

[395] And when we parked the van and we're walking across this huge parking lot and the Hells Angels blew up a Honda Civic.

[396] I mean, they literally blew it up like in a fucking 80s movie about Beirut.

[397] And there was just a huge mushroom cloud.

[398] And I was eight and with my mom holding her hand, I'm like, are we going to die in this motorcycle race?

[399] It's pretty intense.

[400] It's really, there are a lot of elements.

[401] about New Hampshire because I feel because of stuff like on Golden Pond and you just assume there's sort of this pastoral New England quality to it.

[402] But there's some real you know I don't want to say dirtbaggy although they did blow up a civic so yeah yeah I mean I feel like with that piece of information but there's some backwoodsness to it I guess there's some backwoodness there's it was certainly you know it's become a little bit more of a swing state but it was a very red state when I was growing up and also there's the The beaches in New Hampshire are like Atlantic City.

[403] It's very Jersey shory.

[404] Sure.

[405] It's not what I think.

[406] It's not Marlaug.

[407] No, no, no. It's a. That's the fourth thing I've tried to pronounce unsuccessfully.

[408] So I'm going to now back off my syllables.

[409] I'm going to just keep it real real, yeah.

[410] Real simple going forward.

[411] So you end up going to college at Northwestern.

[412] Yeah.

[413] Which is very impressive to me because you went right out of high school.

[414] Yeah.

[415] You got to have really great grades to get in out of high school.

[416] I tested very well.

[417] I did have a very good tests.

[418] I think I had pretty good essays.

[419] I was a good, not great student.

[420] Okay.

[421] What kind of strata were you living in in high school if you had to?

[422] I was kind of a, I covered a lot of strata.

[423] Okay.

[424] I was, you know, I definitely had a lot of friends who were comic book friends who, you know, I think, you know, you would say stereotypically nerdyer endeavor.

[425] But I was also, you know, I was popular enough that I was a class treasurer.

[426] You know, I ran for office and won.

[427] I will say I was the, you know, the one who did, you know.

[428] That's not the one everyone's raising their hand for, right?

[429] No, I had, I knew who the most popular guys were and they were kind of like already lined up for president and vice president.

[430] But I was like I gave like the, my election speech was mostly just quoting SNL sketches.

[431] Oh, really?

[432] Like, I got into it that way.

[433] So you loved comedy, always.

[434] Yeah, my parents were huge comedy fans and sort of did that really looking back, that incredibly kind thing of introducing it to you at a time that was not age -appropriate that helps you develop a far sensor, I feel, just taste and appreciation for it than most of the people my age.

[435] I mean, I think in the end, like, that was, if there was a group of friends that I was most drawn to, it was the people who also thought things like Monty Python were funny.

[436] Right.

[437] In an era when people didn't.

[438] I could see you running cross -com.

[439] I did run cross -country.

[440] Did you really?

[441] I promised you that was just a guess.

[442] I don't think that's on your Wikipedia page.

[443] I ran track was the only sport at my school that didn't cut you.

[444] Oh, okay.

[445] If you cared enough to be on a sports team but had no skill you could run.

[446] So I ran cross -country winter track and spring track.

[447] But you also have the temperament for a long -distance runner.

[448] You're kind of a plodder, aren't you?

[449] I would say I am a plotter.

[450] Yeah.

[451] I mean the 12 years at SNL's kind of a testament to that plotting.

[452] I think that sometimes one of the, I have to remind myself I'm a plotter because sometimes when you're surrounded by sprinters.

[453] Yes.

[454] Well, never has there been a stable of sprinters like SNL.

[455] It's like people you meet and one year later they're making $20 million or fucking Eddie Murphy doing on his...

[456] Sure.

[457] The biggest still, R -rated coming the history of cinema on a hiatus from SNL, right?

[458] Yeah, I...

[459] Beverly Hills Cod.

[460] For me it was, you know, I remember Samberg showed up and, you know, just put it like, hey, man, let me show you the ropes.

[461] And being that sort of guy who was the pro helping out the rookie.

[462] Yeah.

[463] And then the Christmas show of Sandberg's first year was Lazy Sunday.

[464] And they were on the New York Times.

[465] Yeah.

[466] And I had this real, oh, we're all, we all have different paces here.

[467] And, you know, I've said this before, but one of my big regrets looking back at some of my worst.

[468] years of the show were that I had a sadness that came from comparing myself to other people and people that I really liked and were good to me and and that so it looks there's a time where I just look back at my own uh and ugliness to myself that I'm still a little embarrassed by well it's it's baked into the because I was in the groundlings and it's just it's unavoidable that there is a finite amount of real estate in the show there's gonna be 13 sketches and and there's 15 of you writing, and that's just the unavoidable facts.

[469] Yeah.

[470] And they are your best friends.

[471] You're spending all your time with them riding.

[472] Uh -huh.

[473] And then ultimately they're going to take one of those really valuable slots.

[474] Yeah.

[475] I mean, I guess it's, you know, it's guys who play professional sports have that to some degree.

[476] You know, there's only so many minutes to go around.

[477] I, the one thing that happened to me, and this is also that I want to make clear, it wasn't like I had this incredible moment of, oh, I need to be better.

[478] I have to, you know, I have to be kinder and more giving.

[479] When I got a weekend update, I, you know, then all of a sudden I was a guy who got 10 minutes every week.

[480] Yeah, and that was, and then it was that thing of, oh, you know, that way, it took something that nice happening for me to realize, like, oh, I've been a real dickhead.

[481] And I did try to redouble my efforts as head writer to try to help everybody else, you know, get their stuff on.

[482] But it was, you know, that was the greatest part about doing update.

[483] That was the best life at S &L because you just have.

[484] had your time.

[485] You knew no matter what you were going to be in that.

[486] Exactly.

[487] And it wasn't like it ever went so bad a dress that they were like, we're not going to do update.

[488] Yeah, right.

[489] Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

[490] If you dare.

[491] What's up guys?

[492] It's your girl Kiki.

[493] And my podcast is back with a new season.

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[511] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[512] So I had Icon, as you brought up before we started recording, who by the way, just...

[513] Our roof bell off.

[514] Yes, it would be hard to say that there was a better guest than him, and we don't know each other at all.

[515] Oh, you really?

[516] Do you not know?

[517] Met him in my driveway.

[518] Oh.

[519] He walked in and I just was like, oh, I think I could marry you.

[520] Yeah, I mean, he's, I mean, again, I've known him for a long time.

[521] He is one of the most instantly charismatic people.

[522] And is, like, the real deal, no hyperbole, he's a friend to all.

[523] You can tell.

[524] Yeah.

[525] Yeah, there's, there's, there's, we all have good spidey senses at this point.

[526] Yeah.

[527] And he's so genuine.

[528] But of course he, boom, Chicago came out.

[529] And of course, I was just fascinated with the notion of living in Amsterdam for two years in your 20s.

[530] And I said to him, my assumption is you had to work 90, minutes a night, right?

[531] And then the rest of the time was pretty much yours.

[532] How long did did you do, Boom, Chicago?

[533] I did it for two years.

[534] Right out of Northwestern?

[535] Pretty much.

[536] I think I'd done about a year kicking around doing improv stuff in Chicago, but maybe even less.

[537] It might have been about 10 months after college that I went over there.

[538] And you went specifically to go join that.

[539] Yeah, audition for it with my friend Pete Gross, who is one of the Sonic guys.

[540] You know those two Sonic guys.

[541] Monica.

[542] I sure do.

[543] And he's also.

[544] Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[545] And he, uh, I think he was talking about a fucking band, to be honest.

[546] I'm like, of course, there's a fucking electronic group named Sonic that I don't know about.

[547] But he also was a writer here, wrote for Colbert Rippor, and he's a really funny guy.

[548] And we were college roommates, and he basically said one day, hey, there's this audition for this show that takes place in Amsterdam.

[549] And so we auditioned and it was the best.

[550] I'd never been out of the country.

[551] I had to get a passport for the job.

[552] And it was the, I mean, the best.

[553] Aren't you so glad you had that before you got on the conveyor belt that led to here?

[554] I mean, when I think back to the two, you know, I was, again, I was in my 20s when I started on SNL, and you would think that would be the best time in your life.

[555] But those two years right out of college where I lived in Amsterdam and worked full -time as an improviser, and there wasn't that, you know, the pressure you had then is you knew you weren't in the place you were going to be.

[556] Like, I knew I wanted to come back to the States.

[557] But I will say my best years, after I left, I would come back every now and then in direct shows or just go back and hang out.

[558] And that's when Ike was there.

[559] That's when my brother were there.

[560] They were roommates.

[561] And it was because I did not overlap.

[562] He was actually one of the group that came to replace my group that left.

[563] But being in Amsterdam with Ike was just, as you could imagine.

[564] And I'm going to theorize some stuff.

[565] Again, I don't know you all that well, but I have so a lot of assumptions about you.

[566] I'm sure half of them are wrong.

[567] But here's one of my - You nailed track.

[568] I really did.

[569] I should quit there.

[570] But I have a sense that you're pretty type A. I think you have to have a pretty type A drive to be, headwriter of anything.

[571] It's just such a grind.

[572] Yeah.

[573] And I would imagine that it's a little bit liberating to be in a place like Amsterdam where there's really nothing else for you to explore.

[574] Like if you had been doing that show, Boom, Chicago, in L .A., you would do the show and then you, knowing your temperament, would probably be like, oh, now I've got to fill up this other time with productive shit.

[575] Yep.

[576] And that environment probably forced you in some way.

[577] Like, what the fuck were you going to do?

[578] get a secondary job in Amsterdam.

[579] And there was nothing else going on.

[580] There was no auditions.

[581] There was nothing.

[582] There was no need for American comedians for any other job other than the one I had.

[583] Yeah.

[584] So you're like, okay, I'm doing the one thing I need to do.

[585] And did you have fun like Ike?

[586] I don't think anybody had fun like Ike.

[587] Nor do I think anybody has the biology for that to be safe.

[588] It sounds like Ike and I were very similar.

[589] Yeah.

[590] Real high constitution for.

[591] Yes.

[592] I had a good, I mean, I thought.

[593] Mine was really, my constitution was really good and then you meet Ike and that's...

[594] But yeah, I mean, look, I did stuff there that I'd never done before that I haven't done since that I enjoyed a great deal.

[595] Sure.

[596] And then there was another great thing of because it was this other place, it was very easy not to bring it back with me. Yes.

[597] If that, you know, because all of a sudden, you know, things you could do there, the people you met were a lot less creepy than you would meet if you had to do it here.

[598] Yes.

[599] Again, in a different time, like, I think things have changed, but, you know, I came back in 99, and it was, um...

[600] Yeah, but your average person there is doing ecstasy once in a while or doing...

[601] Yeah, like professional people.

[602] Yes.

[603] And it was, and it was to do, it was to go dancing with friends.

[604] Yes, to live your best self.

[605] It wasn't like, um, it wasn't like going out with a bunch of guys to, like, be on the make.

[606] It was like going out with all your colleagues and it was like guys and girls and just having, like, um, it wasn't like going out with a bunch of guys.

[607] like these really fun late nights that ended up going to some weird breakfast place and buying hot rolls and then going on someone's boat and taking, I mean, just...

[608] As a father or two, I would...

[609] Well, you know, we just talked to Ike after we got back from the 25th, right?

[610] Presumably, we just talked to him like three weeks ago.

[611] Yeah, so we in June, we went back for the 25th anniversary of the room.

[612] And that was because you just realized, oh, this is never going to happen again because the only way it could happen.

[613] was we all got to say to our spouses, it's the 25th.

[614] Because I couldn't say, hey, I miss Amsterdam, Ike, me and my brother and a couple other people are going to go back for three days.

[615] Right, right.

[616] Because it was something serious.

[617] Yeah, I miss a lot of shit too.

[618] Yeah.

[619] We all do, man. I mean, she wasn't psyched about this one either, but she understood I couldn't miss it.

[620] Right.

[621] And did you get a little taste of what it was like?

[622] Or was it hard now with all these?

[623] It was hard.

[624] I mean, the hardest thing for me, to be honest, I would love to say like, that's not me anymore.

[625] I was really the burden of knowing I had to come back.

[626] It was like fly.

[627] The big crazy night was a Saturday, then fly on a Sunday, and then I had this show on a Monday.

[628] And so I just couldn't.

[629] I kept thinking about, I don't want to be asleep on my couch and have my staff.

[630] Well, I think we share this in common.

[631] I bet you will like this quote as much if you don't already know it.

[632] But Lawrence Kazin's famous quote is writers who are people who have agreed to do homework the rest of their lives.

[633] And there's no truer sentence for me. Like, Kristen and I'll be on vacation.

[634] And she's really footloose and fancy free.

[635] Yeah.

[636] And then I'm just thinking like, oh, I got to turn in that fucking rewrite.

[637] I'm going to turn it.

[638] Like, there's always some goddamn writing task.

[639] It's, um.

[640] Not to lament about my great fortune, but no, it's a drag.

[641] You can't.

[642] And the other thing that's, um, is a lesser drag because I don't want to put the thing we signed up for in anybody else.

[643] But it's also an impossible thing to explain to people who also are requiring your time, meeting a spouse you know there are times where you don't want to say to Alexi i have to finish this script and then she'll say something like how much time do you think it'll take and you want to say oh this i'm not being coy i'm not who knows i don't know yeah eight minutes or three hours the other problem is and you know it was very kind of you'd call me an alpha earlier i do not feel like an alpha around my wife Alexi because she's such a super alpha she has rendered me um a very content beta but like she says things to me like hey so we have um you have 45 minutes now i want to say oh i can't like just opening up the computer yeah like that's i can't just like hit it hit the ground running that's like how you blow your achilles like right yes you got us you got to look at some yeah online and then tell yourself you're not allowed to do that and do you have a routine i mean you know this the nice thing about writing here is it's built it's kind of procrastinator proof because we're sort of chasing each day.

[644] Yes.

[645] And so you know, the nice thing now with this, specifically with this show, I can go on vacation and I don't think about this.

[646] Oh, that's great.

[647] And the only other stuff writing -wise that I'm doing now is that show I do with Bill Hader and Fred Armisen documentary now.

[648] Yes.

[649] By the way, just to digress into that for a second, it makes me so happy you guys have that show.

[650] It's for you guys.

[651] It makes me just delighted that it's the kind of thing you would just always talk about with your friends and then have an opportunity to do it and then do it.

[652] It's something.

[653] Yeah, it's like we all bought a house together or a tree house.

[654] It's like we as adults we're like, let's build a really nice tree house.

[655] Yeah.

[656] Because it is not, I can...

[657] It's so pointless in the best way possible.

[658] So pointless.

[659] The ratings are not they're not existing.

[660] It is, people come to this show every night and they are fans of mine.

[661] 200 people who are fans of mine.

[662] They've traveled to see you.

[663] And every now and then, I will mention it during an audience Q &A and five people will clap.

[664] And that is, if it was more than five, I'd know they were lying.

[665] Right.

[666] But it is, but that's something I, you know, so every now and then I'm working on one of those.

[667] And I was working on one of those, like two weeks after our second kid was born.

[668] And Alexi was so tired.

[669] And so, you know, she's very supportive of my career and every aspect of it.

[670] And she had a real case to be made that that was a bad time for me to be.

[671] Yeah, exploring this project.

[672] Drinking Red Bulls and staying up until 5 in the morning trying to crack a tape on a documentary.

[673] Well, that's what I like about is that I'm so goal -oriented and I imagine you're very goal -oriented.

[674] Yeah.

[675] To make a decision to do something that has really no real purpose is a good exercise I would imagine.

[676] It's a way to force you to remember that you like doing it.

[677] Yeah, I think the other thing is this show is so temporal in that I don't think like we're going to do a show tonight.

[678] I think it'll be a really good show.

[679] I don't think five years from now someone's going to say, oh, we should go back and watch that episode.

[680] Right.

[681] You do it and it's by tomorrow it has half its value and by the next day it has a fifth of its value.

[682] Yes.

[683] And so it's nice to do a ship in a bottle type show that ultimately.

[684] no one feels the rush to see it as soon as it comes out.

[685] It's timeless enough.

[686] I'm like, oh, I made this thing that it will hold up because, you know, the source material that we're parading is already from 1965.

[687] Like, none of it goes back.

[688] And we're still talking about gray gardens or whatever the thing is.

[689] So I think that is also part of it.

[690] The ego part of me is like, no, you also just want to make a thing that people will go, oh, I saw that 10 years later and I really liked it.

[691] Sure.

[692] Is there a favorite documentary you guys have?

[693] We did one called Juan Likes Rice and Chicken that was based on Hero Dreams of Sushi.

[694] Oh.

[695] And we actually went to Columbia to film it again.

[696] I couldn't go.

[697] But Fred, it's a guy who has the only Michelin -starred restaurant that is an hour away from the closest road.

[698] and that's great.

[699] And don't you feel like one of the best gifts of this whole thing is to spend time with those people, like forgetting about the product?

[700] Like it really helps to learn to enjoy process, doesn't it?

[701] When you get to share it with.

[702] Yeah.

[703] And the other thing about process that there's a great gift of S &L is not just seeing how people go from the seed of an idea to a finished hit sketch, but watching all these people, people you know are capable of hit sketches fail so often.

[704] I mean, watching the glorious you had to see it to believe it failures of people like Will Forte and Fred Armisen and Andy Sandberg on Wednesday just at the table read.

[705] You know, those are some of the moments I look back at, you know, them.

[706] And, you know, and then you learn to forgive yourself your failures because these people that you look up to and have seen do such great work, you realize, oh, at the best, we're hitting 300, you know.

[707] Well, yeah, that's the thing I try to say to folks is that, like, every week I wrote six sketches, I was 100 % certain they were all of complete equal comedic value.

[708] I liked each of them equally as much.

[709] And then some are just fucking clunkers.

[710] I don't know why.

[711] Yeah.

[712] It's like a weird thing.

[713] Like, you have this broad sense of humor, right?

[714] And really you spend your whole life trying to figure out what of this broad spectrum is appealing to people.

[715] Yeah.

[716] Because you internally, you don't know.

[717] They're all equal, aren't they?

[718] Yeah.

[719] I mean, I think it's nice.

[720] I mean, again, you know, this is where, again, I'm really lucky to work with the staff.

[721] Like, the staff here helps you refine, you know, because then it's not just my own.

[722] You know, I realize, oh, they, I also like doing this thing, but I can't help and notice that of the 12 people in the writing staff, none of them like writing it for me. And then you realize, oh, maybe that wasn't as good as I thought it was.

[723] Yeah.

[724] But that, the other thing about us now is the truest bounce.

[725] That, that table read on Wednesday, you know, no fake laughs, no, no polite laughs.

[726] I should say, Polar, the great table read laugher.

[727] And now, I don't know if that just comes from her natural effervescence or if there was a kindness that came from her laughs.

[728] But Polar, no one played to silence on Polar's watch, which was one of the great kindnesses that she brought to that place.

[729] Yeah, she's a very generous person.

[730] Very generous person.

[731] I've got to act next to her.

[732] And yeah, every...

[733] Was baby mama when you first met?

[734] Or did you know her before that?

[735] Well, I met her through Will doing, let's go to prison.

[736] and yeah immediately and then that's basically the first time I ever met you is Will brought me to SNL and I met you and you were very nice and kind of open and I like you know when you're new you really remember who stops in the hallway and says hi that's so nice to hear yeah and you're in a group of like five folks that were quite generous and nice my first memory of you is going will and Amy had a place in Venice one summer it might have been he might have been living there because it was doing arrested yeah and there was It was maybe a game night of some sort.

[737] And then you had the coolest car I'd ever seen.

[738] Oh, you were there the night of the donuts?

[739] Yeah, the donuts.

[740] And Richter was there, right?

[741] Yeah.

[742] Yeah, because Andy brings it up all the time.

[743] It was a CTSV.

[744] It was when the CTSV first came out and it was a stick shift.

[745] And the reason, I'm not a total, I am a total blow heart.

[746] Forget it.

[747] I'm a total blow heart.

[748] But also, if you remember Will and I were probably telling you, we did let's go to prison in Bowling Brook, Illinois.

[749] It was the boringest place for us to be.

[750] for six weeks.

[751] Every single night he, Kekner and I would go to Applebee's and eat dinner.

[752] And then at the end of dinner, we'd go in the parking lot and I would do donuts for 12 minutes while they just sat there.

[753] Like we were in high school drinking a soda while I like did donuts around telephone poles.

[754] And just every single night.

[755] So frequently that the bartender borrowed his brother -in -law's car and then he did donuts one night.

[756] And so I think we might have been telling that at the poker night.

[757] And, of course, I felt obliged to them perform.

[758] Yeah.

[759] I did donuts in an intersection, I think.

[760] And it's hard for me to say, I'm so not, one, not a car guy, two, therefore don't have any of those, the skills that one requires to do that.

[761] And it was a real, like, wow, it was like watching somebody, like, if you'd gone back and, if you'd have gone out and done ballet in the street, it would have been as impressive to me. But there had to be a huge percentage of your brain that was going, oh, he's going to throw it away at any second.

[762] Do you think I was going to careen into a car?

[763] Because it seemed, you seemed very in control.

[764] Also, there was no fear on you.

[765] Right, right, right.

[766] Yeah, while you were learning to take tests really well, I was in the parking lot of my high school in a Mustang trying to impress my dear head friends.

[767] It's a real reminder that Michigan's a big state.

[768] It is.

[769] A lot of different childhoods happening.

[770] I'm really happy that that's something you think of when you think of me. Yeah.

[771] Because that's kind of, you know, we talked about this on here, and I'd love to hear any realizations you had.

[772] But we all have our identity, and we're often quite wrong about it.

[773] Yeah.

[774] I'm very wrong about it pretty regularly.

[775] My wife helps all the time to remind me, if you slowly, is there any part of you that you've come to recognize, like, oh, that's not, I don't know that.

[776] I had a very interesting thing happening, which is that when I went back to that reunion in Amsterdam, it was really brought to my attention that I used to have a reputation.

[777] as a real hothead.

[778] Oh, really?

[779] Yeah.

[780] Yeah, like my early days of being an improviser, I was not a, I was not like a fun partner in scenes.

[781] Like my disappointment in bad choices was really evident to people.

[782] And then you realize, like, you know, you change the way you behave and you get better at it.

[783] But the people that were there for that, they don't, you know, they haven't been there for the rest of it.

[784] They've seen you on camera, but they haven't realized that you got better off camera.

[785] Yeah, they're like, oh, he's good, but he's an asshole, and that would be totally fair for them to say.

[786] So were a lot of people going like, oh, my God, you've mellowed.

[787] Were they, like, trying to find euphemisms to say you're not a prick anymore?

[788] It was not even that.

[789] It was like things would happen like, like, I just used to be a hot head about stuff.

[790] Like, you know, when you're like with a bunch of improvisers and sometimes we'd just be the group dinner and the waitress would come over with our meals and someone would be telling a story and wouldn't stop.

[791] And I'd be the guy, be like, hey, we have to tell.

[792] tell this person who has all these things.

[793] Yes.

[794] And so there were a few times where people like that would happen and some of you like, oh, I should stop because Seth's here.

[795] And I had to remember that that was a thing that I used to do.

[796] And then also remember, oh, you know, 15 years after the fact, people are remembering that.

[797] So obviously it was traumatic.

[798] I kind of appreciate, though.

[799] I'm that guy too.

[800] I'm like, you're just going to have this person stand with eight plates going like, who ordered the chicken paccata?

[801] Yeah, the waitress appreciates that.

[802] Yeah, no, I think that I just could have done it.

[803] in a more kind way.

[804] I think that, I should go back.

[805] I don't think I was wrong about anything in those days.

[806] I just think I got better about being right.

[807] Okay, good, good.

[808] The lesson you learned is that you were right all along, but that you could.

[809] Yeah, you can be a little bit more patient with people.

[810] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[811] And do you think that this kind of drive and this type anus and stuff is just your genetics?

[812] Or do you think, I mean, your dad's in finance, right?

[813] Yeah, but he's a real type A, and he's a real, I would say he really instilled, like, get the most out of your talents kind of situation.

[814] Don't let laziness be the thing that doesn't get it for you.

[815] You know, there's a lot, there's plenty of hurdles that are outside of your control, but don't let your own lack of effort be the thing that you'll look back at and lament.

[816] Yeah.

[817] So he was really good that way.

[818] And you wanted, you needed their approval?

[819] Were you?

[820] Yeah.

[821] I mean, still.

[822] Yeah, still.

[823] I went back in February to New Hampshire to do a couple stand -up gigs for this charity event that they, this charity they're involved with.

[824] And I just realized before I'm, oh, why am I, why don't I feel this like tickle?

[825] And I was like, oh, yeah, it's because I'm, like, they're there.

[826] Uh -huh.

[827] Even though they're so supportive, like, it was still, you want it to be, you know, better than average when they're there.

[828] Yeah.

[829] That's pretty fantastic.

[830] but is it ever laborious that whole thing?

[831] It was super hard when I would say the first two or three years of S &L just because that was the first thing I was doing that not just were my parents watching it, but you know, everybody's watching it and everybody, you can't trick people into thinking that it's good that you were not in the show on any given week.

[832] Right, right, right.

[833] And so I think a lot of it was my parents trying to be helpful but talking about it in a way that was very, I wanted to say them, No, I'm also aware that this is not great.

[834] And I'm dealing with it kind of constantly.

[835] And so I'd love for us not to also talk about it.

[836] Uh -huh.

[837] And you joined as a writer.

[838] I didn't.

[839] I joined as a cast member that they then moved into writer.

[840] Oh, so this is, I thought it was the same trajectory as Chevy Chase, but it's actually the polar opposite.

[841] I think it's the only, I'm the only person.

[842] Yeah.

[843] I started as a cast member, but I, you know, due to, they don't want to be hard on myself, but again, like, we talked about the other people that were in the cast.

[844] Like, they were great.

[845] And a lot of, I was never, to this day, I'm not somebody that has a huge range of skills that the great people in the history of S &L have.

[846] Yeah.

[847] So I kind of kept myself alive by writing my first four or five years.

[848] And then when Tina was leaving, Lauren asked if I wanted to, you know, join the writing staff, which was both, I think, a credit to my writing and also him saying, and we will be fine without you in the proper guise.

[849] And were you able at the time that you became the head writer to recognize what rarefied error that is and how unique that is?

[850] Or were you so focused on something else that you were?

[851] It's still, I think, the thing I'm, and from the day it happened, it was the thing, I was proud of stuff.

[852] Oh, that's great.

[853] It's the title in my life that I think I will be because of that.

[854] I think it should be.

[855] It's such like the people that I revere It's really interesting We were talking the other day about People seem in the general world To know what a director is And they seem to think that that's like the thing You know like Stephen Spielberg And I was kind of trying to explain Like people don't understand what a showrunner is A showrunner is the Mike Tyson of the industry Like that's You have to be such a bad motherfucker Like Mindy Kaling I don't know that people realize I think it's I mean the good news I think It's exponentially more known in the last 10 years, right?

[856] Sure, sure.

[857] Because I think no one knew until, you know.

[858] Yeah, Hubey even became a famous showrunner.

[859] But, yeah, I guess people, because they started being, the showrunners were also in the shows, like in Mindy's case.

[860] And, yeah, just, you know, yeah, I guess it was, you realized, oh, David Chase doesn't direct the Sopranos, you know what I mean?

[861] But he's the guy.

[862] Weirdly, yes, that was my first realization.

[863] Yeah.

[864] That, like, oh, that name is why the Sopranos is the Sopranos.

[865] Yeah, he's, and it was not, he was genuinely just too busy to direct.

[866] Like, that's what showrunners are too busy to direct.

[867] That's right.

[868] They would love to, but they can't go prep for a week.

[869] I don't have to go scout a locale.

[870] Yeah.

[871] But that title of head writer of Saturday Night Live is just, to me, it's the most gangster thing you could accomplish there.

[872] I mean, it's certainly, you know, and it didn't hurt that, you know, Tina, obviously, who, You know, both a colleague and a hero of mine was the person who had it before me and people like McKay and people like Jim Downey.

[873] And so it was, and, you know, again, I should stress that you are, any head writer is a beneficiary of the cast they're doing it for.

[874] And I swear by that cast, I think that history will show.

[875] And I'm not putting myself in it because, again, I wasn't in the sketches, but that group of people to be able to write for them.

[876] Yeah, you can be Beethoven, but if your orchestra is made up of gazoos and fucking cardboard boxes, how good's it.

[877] going to sound.

[878] So that was, and it was just a really cool and exciting time to work there.

[879] Now, were you, what things make you nervous?

[880] Because I saw you, one of the first times I had like genuine anxiety for you and then saw you crush was the White House Correspondence Dinner.

[881] Yeah.

[882] Like I saw you get on stage and I was just like, I mean, I'd be really nervous to do this.

[883] Were you nervous?

[884] Yeah.

[885] I'm not, it's the most I ever felt.

[886] as though I was sweating through a tuxedo, where you could feel the actual tuxedo fabric getting heavier over the course of the 20 minutes.

[887] Sure, sure.

[888] But we had really good jokes.

[889] Do you know Neil Brennan?

[890] Yes, I do.

[891] So Neil Brennan was with me that afternoon, and I had a really good group of people with me that afternoon, and we had worked on the script for three weeks.

[892] And I was in a hotel room in D .C. with Brennan, with John Mullaney, with Alex Bays, who's my head writer here, with Mike Shoemaker, who's my producer here.

[893] And when we were done reading it through, and again, it was not, you know, it wasn't fun.

[894] It was, and, but Neil said he's, because I'm jealous that you get to go tell these jokes now.

[895] Oh, really?

[896] And I just remember thinking, oh, that's what a nice thing to say.

[897] Because that was a reminder of, you know, because I think we all think about worst case scenario.

[898] And until Neil said that, I realized, oh, there's also a best case scenario that these are great jokes and they'll be fun to say.

[899] One of my favorite things I've ever watched comedically.

[900] Thanks, man. The fucking jokes were so good.

[901] What's the Lou Gossack one?

[902] Oh, that was.

[903] Oh, yeah.

[904] It was about how bad Obama looked after being president for three years.

[905] And it was you, you started looking like the Old Spice guy, and now you look like Lewis Gossett Senior.

[906] Senior.

[907] It was the senior that was so next level.

[908] Because certainly someone said Lou Gossack Jr. to start with.

[909] Yeah.

[910] Maybe not.

[911] I think it might have been Malaney.

[912] who is the kind of person that would get it, would get Lewis Cousin Sr. immediately.

[913] On the first swing.

[914] And then how about Golden Globes?

[915] That was the most in line with the level of nerves I felt for the correspondent's dinner.

[916] I would say between the two, nothing had made me feel that nervous.

[917] Yeah.

[918] Also, the correspondence dinner, the downside is you walk out and it's a terrible room.

[919] You know, it's the worst room.

[920] And so anything you get, you think I'm doing pretty good.

[921] And, you know, I'd been in the Globe's room for Amy and Tina's three times.

[922] And so I knew you could crush.

[923] They were uniquely great at hosting.

[924] I was, when we were sitting down the right, I was like, oh, I'm going to watch their monologues.

[925] And I watched 30 seconds.

[926] I'm not going to put myself through this because it won't be that.

[927] And so I'm not going to.

[928] No, you guys like, you're literally, you deal in different merchandise entirely.

[929] It's like there's so, especially the symmetry between them.

[930] Yeah, they're finishing each other sentences, and we...

[931] And you're just reminded watching it, like, oh, I'll be solo.

[932] Oh, yeah.

[933] That was the beauty of sketch comedy to me. Like, I wanted to do stand -up, but I was too afraid.

[934] Yeah.

[935] I was like, I don't...

[936] If you bomb with someone else, there's a certain joy in having shared that.

[937] Of course, you talk about it forever.

[938] I mean, that's...

[939] You get more giddy off of that, don't you?

[940] We talked about, when we were back in Amsterdam for a reunion, we were, none of us were talking about good shows.

[941] Because we also, I don't know if I mentioned, we did a lot of corporate theater.

[942] He did say that.

[943] But that was what we were laughing about because it was collective.

[944] It wasn't, I went and bombed at this place.

[945] It was I went and Ike and I bombed at this place.

[946] Yeah, it's a real bonding experience.

[947] It's like being siblings in a childhood with trauma.

[948] Yeah.

[949] You're extra close.

[950] Absolutely.

[951] Yeah, so going out alone.

[952] And then the other thing about the Globes was just, you know, not to mention the fact that the lights are on.

[953] It's not like going out in a theater to do stand up where the lights are dark.

[954] The lights are on and the people are very famous.

[955] And so you just have to make this decision to sort of look over the tops of the heads of the Tom Hanks' and the Oprah's as opposed to really drilling down on eye contact.

[956] Funny you'd say that.

[957] I've done very little hosting, but I hosted the TCA's one year.

[958] And I'm in the middle of telling some jokes and I hear, great joke, great joke.

[959] Like, not laughing, actually saying out loud, great joke, great joke.

[960] And it was Tom Hanks.

[961] Yeah.

[962] Which I didn't, I just heard a guy saying great jokes.

[963] And then when I got stage, Kristen, and was like, what about Tom Hanks?

[964] And saying great jokes during that.

[965] I was like, oh, my God, that was him?

[966] I probably would have stopped and stared at him.

[967] I like that even Tom Hanks knows that he's one.

[968] He's a person who has every right and just carte blanche to positively heckel.

[969] Yeah, 100%.

[970] The positive heckles of Tom Hanks.

[971] Yes.

[972] He's so likable.

[973] He could totally get away with it.

[974] Yeah.

[975] But just a generous, nice human being.

[976] He really is.

[977] You know what I, before you go, first of all, I love doing your stuff.

[978] show.

[979] I've done it twice now.

[980] Thank you.

[981] You're such a good talk.

[982] Do you know you're a great talk show host?

[983] This is actually a question I want to ask more people.

[984] Like, are you aware that you bring the goods?

[985] I think I'm a good guest.

[986] Yeah.

[987] I do a lot of them.

[988] You know, like I generally, like if someone cancels and I live in L .A. and I'm from most of those guys, they'll call me. So that to me seems like a good indicator that I'm a little dependable.

[989] The thing I wrestle with is there's a very fine line between being a good guest and just steamrolling.

[990] It's very hard to navigate.

[991] And I sometimes leave going i have to be honest i don't there's no i would never think of a guest who is working as having steamrolled okay that's i get to talk the whole night when there's you know and one of the things about doing the show is just realizing how there's different kinds of guests and just making sure some people need you to be hold their hand and that's fun for me too and then other people but it is uh i'm not just saying this there's the other thing you uh and and what makes i think are my favorite kind of talk show host is guest, the audience is immediately comfortable.

[992] Like, they're not worried about you.

[993] They're like, oh, this person knows what he's here to do, and that's a great feeling.

[994] I only have a couple strengths.

[995] One of them is I'm mildly comfortable in my own skin, which I remember Amy telling me with Lauren.

[996] Lauren seemed to really like me for some reason on baby mom.

[997] And I couldn't figure it out, because my dream in life was to be on Sariantlo, and I never was, and whatever, I have all this package.

[998] But he was really nice to me. And I said, I don't know why Lauren and Amy goes, oh, he's just, he likes it.

[999] people are comfortable in their own skin.

[1000] It's a very boring kind of, you know, thing that he can recognize.

[1001] Also, what Lorne doesn't appreciate is that even people who are comfortable in their own skin tend to not be once they meet Lorne.

[1002] He makes you question your skin.

[1003] Yes, yes.

[1004] And so, and it's a lot of people who were until the day they started there and then he sets up this world where every day, at the end of the day, you like look at your skin and you're like, I feel like this is, you could be better.

[1005] And so for the people that can get through Lorne and can still be comfortable in their own skin, I think it's our few and far between.

[1006] Yeah.

[1007] So the only thing I want to ask you before you left is, has having kids, did the magic thing happen to you?

[1008] Or it's like the whole big thing shrunk as far as like the priorities and the desire for all the personal stuff.

[1009] Did it kind of finally get proportional?

[1010] Someone else's future is more exciting than your own.

[1011] Isn't that liberating?

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] It was something I was so afraid to let me. go.

[1014] And ever since it happened, I'm like, oh, right.

[1015] Yeah.

[1016] Maybe this thing will go well or it won't.

[1017] And I guess who gives a shit as long as...

[1018] Well, it's also, you know, look, being a parent is hard, but it's, you know, if you just do the right stuff, you know, you get so much out of it.

[1019] You know, like there are days where I feel like I put in 100 % in the show and I don't get 100 % back.

[1020] But I feel like with your kids, at least up to this point, I really do feel like it comes back exponentially.

[1021] Yeah.

[1022] And where my son, Ash, is doing this.

[1023] saying now where he I just kneel down at the door when I leave and he gives me a running hug and he goes as far away and runs and now he's decided to add a running kiss so you get a running hug and then he says now running kiss and he runs all the way away and I just like it's a very strange thing to know because they're asleep when I get home from the show so that's the last time I see him until tomorrow morning and it's this weird thing to know I'm gonna go off I'm gonna have my dream job I work with these people I love we're gonna do a show for a great audience I can't wait to do that but this is I've already peaked Today is peaked.

[1024] Yes.

[1025] Because I got my running hug and my running kiss and now it's just and now it's just like this really lovely day newmont until tomorrow's hugging kiss.

[1026] It's all gravy after that.

[1027] I would imagine especially when he's resetting.

[1028] Oh, it's great.

[1029] And you get to watch.

[1030] Well, he also goes around a corner and then it's like, wait takes way too long.

[1031] And I'm like, how far away are you going?

[1032] Are you going multiple rooms away?

[1033] That's so fantastic.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] Well, I'm very happy for you.

[1036] The last compliment I want to give you before you go is I kind of hold you in this regard that I really look up to Conan for is there are certain people that I have so much admiration for just hard fucking work.

[1037] Like you're such a product of hard work.

[1038] I hope you're able to own all these accomplishments because you just, you busted your ass and it's very obvious and it's very impressive.

[1039] Thank you.

[1040] This incredibly kind of you say, I was really lucky to be surrounded by people who are helpful.

[1041] But yeah, no, I'm really happy.

[1042] Yeah.

[1043] All right.

[1044] Thanks, buddy.

[1045] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check.

[1046] with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1047] Welcome to the fact check with Monica Padman.

[1048] And Dax.

[1049] Dachsh.

[1050] Yeah.

[1051] Okay.

[1052] What did we have?

[1053] Okay.

[1054] I'm sorry, guys, for the no song, but he just didn't have it today.

[1055] Sometimes you don't have it.

[1056] We're under a time crunch.

[1057] No one wants to know that.

[1058] That's a two behind the curtain, but we're in a bit of a time crunch.

[1059] And, you know, I'd like to dedicate five, ten minutes to either coming up with a poem or a song.

[1060] I just, I don't have that time right there's no time.

[1061] There's not enough time.

[1062] I got to fly to see my mommy.

[1063] Oh, yeah.

[1064] I'm going to go see my sweet mommy up in Oregon.

[1065] Oregon, as we'd say in Michigan.

[1066] Say Oregon.

[1067] What if we said Michigan?

[1068] Ooh, that sounds like a word.

[1069] Mishogosh.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] Yeah, Michigan.

[1072] I'm from Detroit, Michigan.

[1073] No, I don't like it.

[1074] Okay.

[1075] Okay.

[1076] I'll stop right now.

[1077] I don't have to stop.

[1078] I'm just saying.

[1079] I don't like it.

[1080] Yeah.

[1081] Well, you know, can I point out a fun fact?

[1082] Yeah.

[1083] And this is very rare for you to say when we leave someplace, but you were in, oh, no, I got that wrong.

[1084] You weren't intimidated by Seth.

[1085] I wasn't intimidated by Seth.

[1086] He was very, um.

[1087] Gracious?

[1088] Yeah.

[1089] He was not scary.

[1090] Very approachable.

[1091] You know, most people are not.

[1092] Most people end up not being intimidating at all.

[1093] But every now and then there is a human that we encounter that is.

[1094] That gets spikes your.

[1095] adrenaline.

[1096] Yeah, and it has nothing to do with their celebrity, obviously, because all these people are celebrities.

[1097] If it was just that, everyone would be intimidating, but it's not.

[1098] It is their personalities.

[1099] Don't you think it's also compounded by like the specific person, how much you'd want that person's approval?

[1100] I mean, you'd think yes, but there are other people, like I'd love sets approval.

[1101] Yeah.

[1102] I didn't get it, but I would have loved it.

[1103] And I don't know that you didn't get it.

[1104] Well, I do.

[1105] But it might be a factor, but I don't think it's the factor.

[1106] Oh, okay.

[1107] Great.

[1108] I think it's how they carry themselves.

[1109] Yeah, personalities.

[1110] All right.

[1111] Yeah.

[1112] Very scary.

[1113] Popouts.

[1114] Personality pop outs.

[1115] Personality popouts.

[1116] Okay.

[1117] How many episodes have we done?

[1118] We've done, this is the 46th episode of Armchair X. but we've recorded upwards of 59.

[1119] Yeah.

[1120] I don't think you can say upwards and then in the exact number.

[1121] Well, I wanted to be more specific in the middle of my sentence.

[1122] How about this?

[1123] In three hours from now we'll have done 60.

[1124] Yeah.

[1125] Yeah.

[1126] That's fun.

[1127] That's true.

[1128] That's a fun fact.

[1129] Okay.

[1130] The dance move where you move your hands one way, your arms one way and you swing your hips through.

[1131] That's called either flossing or the backpack dance.

[1132] Oh, not the Dougie.

[1133] No, no, that's a different dance.

[1134] Can you Dougie?

[1135] Is that how it went?

[1136] Teach me how to Dougie.

[1137] Teach me how to Dougie.

[1138] Yeah.

[1139] Can you Dougie?

[1140] I'm not sure what Dougian is.

[1141] I think so.

[1142] Now I forget.

[1143] No, I'm thinking of the stanky leg.

[1144] Ooh.

[1145] Oh, somebody farted up in here.

[1146] Oh, stanky.

[1147] I kind of forget it, but I think I could do it.

[1148] That's one point.

[1149] I can do all those dances.

[1150] No, I can't.

[1151] I really can't.

[1152] I can jump through my leg.

[1153] Do you know that?

[1154] Like kid in play.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] The best part is is I occasionally say this to somebody, and it's always been five or six years since I've tried it.

[1157] Yeah, I'm about to ask you to do it.

[1158] I'm going to do it.

[1159] Okay, let me see it.

[1160] With zero practice in five years.

[1161] Oh, my God.

[1162] You guys, this is about to happen.

[1163] I'm, oh, wow.

[1164] Oh, my God.

[1165] Oh, my God.

[1166] I'm so scared.

[1167] Whoa.

[1168] Wow.

[1169] Wow.

[1170] That was.

[1171] That sounds super easy.

[1172] And I used to be able to do it mid -dance.

[1173] It does not, did not look easy, and you did do it.

[1174] I did do it.

[1175] You're not very impressed.

[1176] No, I am.

[1177] Okay, mix of impressed and embarrassed for me. No. No. No, no, no, no. But that was part of the kid in play dance, which I could do the, whole thing.

[1178] Well, I want to see that too.

[1179] Well, I need a partner because that's where you go at each other and you kick your heel out and you both snap.

[1180] You high five your feet and then you go back and then you spin and then you jump through your leg.

[1181] Oh my God.

[1182] Yes, great, great dance routine.

[1183] Fun.

[1184] I love a dance routine.

[1185] Yeah, and the song that was playing, I think was rolling, rolling, roll and roll, we kid and play.

[1186] Oh.

[1187] Yeah.

[1188] They had a whole movie.

[1189] I'm very impressed by that move.

[1190] Oh, thank you.

[1191] It was, yeah.

[1192] If Ryan doing a backflip is a 10, which I think for me is a 10.

[1193] Hmm.

[1194] What is this?

[1195] A six?

[1196] See, not to take anything away from Ryan Hanson, but I've seen a lot of flips in my life.

[1197] I could at one point do that.

[1198] Right.

[1199] So you're less impressed.

[1200] I'm less impressed.

[1201] You know what makes Ryan's impressive is like he too won't have done one for a very long time.

[1202] And then he'll be drunk.

[1203] And like the first time I ever saw him do it, we were in line at Cirque de Soleil in Las Vegas.

[1204] He was drunk and he had about a foot and a half.

[1205] to pull this thing off.

[1206] Because we were in a line on a marble floor.

[1207] He just jumped up and ripped a fucking backflip.

[1208] And I got hard as a rock.

[1209] Yeah, I know.

[1210] I do love.

[1211] I am very impressed by his ability to do it at any moment.

[1212] He just does them randomly a lot.

[1213] That's right.

[1214] And you're right, it is very impressive.

[1215] But the skill itself is less impressive to me just because I'm more used to it.

[1216] I've never seen someone jump through their leg in my life.

[1217] Oh, my goodness.

[1218] Yeah, it was a first.

[1219] Wow, I didn't think I'd ever do something you had never seen.

[1220] In person?

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] It was a great day.

[1223] Maybe we'll have to film this and post it on Instagram.

[1224] You also did it in a very nice new sweatshirt.

[1225] That I picked up on our Toronto live show.

[1226] Yes.

[1227] I fucking love it.

[1228] He loves this sweatshirt.

[1229] It has a big, nice, robust maple leaf on it.

[1230] Mm -hmm.

[1231] And it says Toronto maple leaves.

[1232] Now, I brought up a little ethical conund here because I was like, you're going to buy this?

[1233] I'm glad you're bringing this up.

[1234] Yeah.

[1235] It's like, you're going to buy this.

[1236] What about Detroit?

[1237] Aren't you a Detroit fan?

[1238] Red Wings.

[1239] Yeah.

[1240] I bleed Red Wings.

[1241] Well, okay.

[1242] And you asked me about that.

[1243] And here's what I said.

[1244] I reject, okay?

[1245] That's my favorite word.

[1246] I reject like car lovers who are like, I'm fucking Mopar.

[1247] Chevy sucks, Ford sucks.

[1248] Or I'm a Chevy guy.

[1249] Ford sucks.

[1250] I'm like, oh, really?

[1251] The 70 mock ones.

[1252] sucks.

[1253] I think that's crap.

[1254] You can like a lot of things.

[1255] I don't think you need to get all tribal with things that are great.

[1256] Look, there's a bunch of great mopars.

[1257] There's a bunch of great Fords, a bunch of great Chevys, tons of great Ferraris.

[1258] Lots of great women.

[1259] And guess what?

[1260] A ton of great women.

[1261] More great women than any other thing.

[1262] But the Maple Leaf's fucking rule.

[1263] They're the second most winning Stanley Cup team out there behind the Montreal Canadians.

[1264] Their mascot is the Canadians.

[1265] The Montreal Canadians.

[1266] Watch your tone.

[1267] I have a lot of Canadians.

[1268] I love Canadians, but I don't.

[1269] I'm not into the mascots of Canada.

[1270] I have to be honest.

[1271] The maple leaves and the Canadians?

[1272] I am.

[1273] I am.

[1274] This is the coolest logo.

[1275] I saw it while we were walking through the airport and I immediately was pulled to it.

[1276] Well, it's a beautiful leaf, sure.

[1277] It's fucking gorgeous and the white on blue.

[1278] It's not a very, speaking of intimidating, It's not a very intimidating.

[1279] It wouldn't be like as intimidating as the Toronto Persians would be from the Persian Empire.

[1280] It would not be.

[1281] Right.

[1282] It would be like saying the Wisconsin Americans.

[1283] You see how that's strange?

[1284] You and Kristen would really bump up against that.

[1285] Sure.

[1286] Yeah.

[1287] Hey, another side note about Toronto, no one asked.

[1288] Maybe the most multicultural city I've ever walked around.

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] Would you agree?

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] It was, yeah, very diverse.

[1293] It was awesome.

[1294] Yeah, it was a fucking mind.

[1295] minority most of the time.

[1296] Well, I don't know about that, but I'm not sure about that.

[1297] I don't know about power structure, but in numbers, I was.

[1298] Anywho, okay.

[1299] Back to dancing.

[1300] Fortnite, that game.

[1301] Seth is right.

[1302] Yeah, you buy dances because I guess the players have the ability to use different dances to talk to other people after they win a battle.

[1303] And you can customize it and customize these.

[1304] avatars.

[1305] But Epic Games, who is Fortnite, I guess, makes Fortnite, has earned over a billion dollars in sales from Fortnite since it's launched in September of last year.

[1306] And it's free to play.

[1307] So that means that it's coming from things like these dances and these other things that you can buy from it.

[1308] But mainly these dances.

[1309] Talk about first hit free.

[1310] Right.

[1311] Yes.

[1312] Dang, a billion dollars.

[1313] Yeah.

[1314] What would you buy if you had a billion dollars?

[1315] Well, I already You know, after a house.

[1316] Sure, a house first.

[1317] First thing, first things first.

[1318] I have to buy a new TV because my TV's on the floor.

[1319] And I would buy a billion dollars.

[1320] What would I buy?

[1321] I already buy a lot of the things I want.

[1322] No. The Montreal Canadians, no. No, I don't think there's anything besides housewares and there's a purse I want.

[1323] but I'm probably going to buy that today.

[1324] Right, right.

[1325] Like I buy stuff I want, for better or worse.

[1326] I have like a laundry list.

[1327] I could tell you right now things.

[1328] You're going to buy cars and stuff.

[1329] Well, that just goes without saying.

[1330] But I would say I would definitely order immediately a Prevost motorhome with a stacker trailer behind it.

[1331] And then I buy a racetrack or build one.

[1332] I'd love to have my own private racetrack in my backyard.

[1333] And then just be on that a lake where I could have a fast boat.

[1334] So you wouldn't want, so you want like one place with everything.

[1335] I want multiple places.

[1336] Okay.

[1337] And all, and of course I'd be flying first class.

[1338] That would be a great.

[1339] Well, the billion dollars, you might want to think about a plane.

[1340] No. No. I'm happy to fly commercially, but first class.

[1341] Okay.

[1342] Actually.

[1343] The only cool thing about the plane, it's a horrific environmental issue.

[1344] But let's just push that to the side.

[1345] Okay.

[1346] The thing that's cool is you go like, you know what?

[1347] I'm in the mood to go to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and it's quarter to 10.

[1348] I can be up in the fucking air in 25 minutes.

[1349] That is true.

[1350] That's like a superpower.

[1351] That is true.

[1352] And I do love the non -airport.

[1353] Remember, I flew private one time with you guys to Las Vegas.

[1354] That we did, yeah, yes.

[1355] No, that you wasn't, you didn't commission a plane.

[1356] No, no, no. to say that a studio sent us.

[1357] Exactly.

[1358] And it was so nice just driving right up to the plane.

[1359] You drive right up.

[1360] Someone puts your bags in the plane for you.

[1361] You don't even have to touch your stinky big bags.

[1362] Yeah.

[1363] It's just not going through security is so nice.

[1364] I know.

[1365] That part, you're right.

[1366] And then not being there an hour early is very nice.

[1367] I know.

[1368] Like we were watching one time, Kristen, and a profile on 60 Minutes of Ted Turner.

[1369] And he basically answers the question, what would Dax do if he had a billion dollars?

[1370] Because he has a plane and he has terrible wanderlust and he can't be anywhere for more than four days.

[1371] Jane Fonda was saying the hardest part of being married to him is just every four days you got to get on the plane and go somewhere.

[1372] And I'm like, oh my God, that's heaven.

[1373] I would love to just never be anywhere for more than four days.

[1374] Okay, except that that's the opposite of what you are also saying, which is to build everything in one spot, a racetrack and a lake and all of these things.

[1375] That'd be my hub.

[1376] I'd keep coming in and out of there.

[1377] In fact, I'd put a landing strip on there so I could just go out my back door.

[1378] But why would you even need to go to Jackson Hole if you were going to build a Jackson hole in your backyard?

[1379] I'll tell you exactly why.

[1380] And this isn't something you're super conscious of yet because you're 31, but I'm 43.

[1381] And I'm really into slowing time down because it keeps moving faster and faster.

[1382] And one of the great ways to slow time down is to have a different environment.

[1383] You ever notice when you go on vacation, the first three days feel so long.

[1384] And then slowly you start getting used to it in the last two days blow by.

[1385] Yes, I agree.

[1386] So if I just always am in the three day thing, I'll be slowing time down.

[1387] Okay, but then what I'm telling you is you don't need to build a racetrack and a lake at your house.

[1388] You can just go to the racetrack or go to the lake.

[1389] No, I want my own racetrack.

[1390] Oh, my goodness.

[1391] All right.

[1392] Okay.

[1393] So he said he was the second longest person at S &L.

[1394] So, yeah, the first person is Daryl Hammond.

[1395] Daryl Hammond.

[1396] He was on the show for 14 seasons.

[1397] Oh, I'm sorry.

[1398] Sorry.

[1399] Yes.

[1400] So he's not the, so Keenan just surpassed him.

[1401] Seth.

[1402] No, Keenan just surpassed Daryl Hammond.

[1403] So Keenan is the longest running.

[1404] You're saying Daryl.

[1405] No, I'm not.

[1406] Daryl.

[1407] Okay.

[1408] I think you said Daryld twice.

[1409] Daryl Hammond.

[1410] Did I?

[1411] I think so.

[1412] Darryl, Darrell, Darrell's, maybe I did.

[1413] Daryl's Hammonds.

[1414] Maybe I did.

[1415] Okay, Daryl Hammond was the longest standing and then Keenan just passed Daryl.

[1416] Yes, and he had 15 seasons or he has 15 seasons under his belt.

[1417] Wow, that's impressive.

[1418] And so Seth is third.

[1419] Beverly Hills Cop is not the highest grossing R -rated comedy.

[1420] It is.

[1421] No, it's not.

[1422] Adjusted for inflation, it is.

[1423] Okay.

[1424] It made $300.

[1425] There's always a caveat, but the highest grossing R -rated comedy, if you Google it, is Deadpool.

[1426] It's a Deadpool with $362 million.

[1427] Okay.

[1428] If you also go to box office mojo and do all -time R -rated comedy adjusted for inflation, Beverly Hills Cop is way beyond all of them because it made $300 some million or $280 some million.

[1429] It made $234 million in 1980.

[1430] 84.

[1431] Yes.

[1432] Yeah.

[1433] Yes.

[1434] Yeah.

[1435] But that's not when people are ranking, they're not doing it adjusted for inflation.

[1436] They're doing it on the box office numbers.

[1437] If you Google it, it's not, that's not coming up.

[1438] Which means that's not how people are evaluating it.

[1439] I don't really care how people are evaluating.

[1440] The question is, what is the most successful R -rated comedy of all time?

[1441] Highest grossing.

[1442] It's not, it's not the most successful.

[1443] You said highest grossing.

[1444] Highest grossing.

[1445] Is Deadpool.

[1446] Okay.

[1447] Money changes.

[1448] So you can't be measuring, it's a different denomination.

[1449] You're using like inches in one and feet in the other and you can't do that.

[1450] If you want to know what the most successful R -rated comedy of all time is, it is, it is, Beverly Hills cop by a long shot.

[1451] Okay.

[1452] It just is.

[1453] Okay, I believe you.

[1454] But if you're talking to someone and you're saying, the highest grossing all -rated comedy is Beverly Hills cop, and they might say, no, it's Deadpool, they're all, they're right.

[1455] Sure.

[1456] You're absolutely right.

[1457] But is the point of having the conversation to evaluate what was the biggest R -rated comedy of all time or not?

[1458] Because that's really why we're even having the conversation.

[1459] The goal is to ascertain what is the most successful R -rated comedy of all time.

[1460] It's not to say, like, what today, you know, that's not my motivation.

[1461] Yeah, but I just don't want, this is a fact check, and I don't want people walking around in their head thinking that is true because it's technically not true.

[1462] Deadpool, but you're right that you have to take into account inflation, but by common standards, Deadpool is the current highest grossing R -rated comedy.

[1463] Yeah, I concede to that.

[1464] It's kind of like people saying Avatar is number one, although Avatar may. actually, but the most successful movie of all times gone with the wind.

[1465] Mm -hmm.

[1466] Yeah.

[1467] Oh, we got heated there.

[1468] Yeah, because I do feel like sometimes I give facts and then you're, there's always a caveat.

[1469] Well, that's a really relevant caveat because I wasn't bringing up Beverly Hills cop just to say that it made more than Deadpool.

[1470] The point I was making is here is a 19 -year -old guy who happens to be the lead of the most.

[1471] successful R -rated comedy in the world of all time.

[1472] That's the point I'm making.

[1473] So if you say that I didn't make that point, I have to defend that point.

[1474] That's what I was saying.

[1475] He was in the unicorn of all movies at 19 or 20 years old.

[1476] Mm -hmm.

[1477] And you go, well, not really.

[1478] Ryan Reynolds was in the unicorn.

[1479] Right.

[1480] Yeah, I would just go, that's not, I don't agree with that point.

[1481] Okay.

[1482] Or we're really having a fight.

[1483] Well, no, we're not having a fight.

[1484] I just like, sometimes I feel like I can't say anything with, and you didn't say adjusted for inflation.

[1485] You're right.

[1486] I didn't say that.

[1487] Which, I mean, I guess you probably wouldn't.

[1488] Why would anyone be so specific?

[1489] What I could easily do is change the, I could easily change it from highest grossing to most successful.

[1490] I guess now in my head, I'm like, did you even say highest grossing?

[1491] I don't know.

[1492] Maybe you didn't.

[1493] I don't remember.

[1494] I don't know either.

[1495] Okay.

[1496] Last one.

[1497] Here, oh, two things.

[1498] So one, you said writers are relegated to doing homework for the rest of their lives and that you'd be on vacation and you'd be thinking about that.

[1499] And Kristen would be having like, you know, fancy, should be footloose and fancy free.

[1500] But I'm just here to say that Kristen is never footloose and fancy free on a vacation that she too has a lot of balls in the air.

[1501] Yeah.

[1502] They're not riding balls.

[1503] They're different balls, but they're, yes, yes.

[1504] Yeah.

[1505] And I just wanted to, as her wife, I needed to be clear about that.

[1506] You needed to defend her.

[1507] Yeah.

[1508] That was good of you.

[1509] That's it.

[1510] That's it?

[1511] Sure.

[1512] Okay, I'm so sorry that I got heated back there.

[1513] Me too.

[1514] But I love you still tremendously.

[1515] Me too.

[1516] Once again, we've overcome our differences.

[1517] And I will maintain Deadpool is the highest gross thing comedy and you'll maintain Beverly Hills Cop and we can be.

[1518] can see differently on that.

[1519] Yeah, and it'll be just fine.

[1520] That's right.

[1521] We can carry on.

[1522] I love you.

[1523] Love you.

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