#1280 - Michael Yo

[0] Will you go through all three of those?

[1] No. No, one other one is for you.

[2] Oh, okay.

[3] Just in case you wanted to.

[4] Good.

[5] That's a beast.

[6] You're fucking beast going through three.

[7] Oh, we're live.

[8] You're trying to figure out how much.

[9] I think these are 270 milligrams of caffeine.

[10] If you drank three of these, Jamie, that would kill you, right?

[11] They'd kill you?

[12] No. Wouldn't kill you.

[13] It would fuck you up.

[14] I thought you walked in with three coffees.

[15] I was like, yeah, damn, Rogan.

[16] You're going to die.

[17] Like, straight out die after the show.

[18] No, one is for you.

[19] Hopefully we won't need both.

[20] Well, I don't know.

[21] I've drank both of them before in a show, which is like 500 plus milligrams.

[22] I'm addicted to coffee, though, man. I will just drink it.

[23] I don't even need a high.

[24] I'll just drink it.

[25] I love the smell of it.

[26] It's so good in the morning, man. Oh, it's the best.

[27] And I love it with cream.

[28] I love it black.

[29] I love espresso.

[30] I love it all.

[31] See, I got rid of drinking the whole coffee.

[32] I'm now an espresso drinker.

[33] Really?

[34] Two shots in the morning.

[35] A double shot.

[36] A double shot.

[37] And then, like, a couple hours later, another, I'll do like eight double shots throughout the day because to me that's better than drinking one coffee.

[38] Yes.

[39] But it's not.

[40] It's not.

[41] It's actually, apparently espresso has less caffeine in it than coffee does.

[42] Even though it seems like it has a lot, it doesn't.

[43] But you have to drink more acidic acid.

[44] It just tastes like shit.

[45] Yeah.

[46] It doesn't taste like shit, but it's definitely an acquired taste.

[47] I enjoy it, but it's one of the rare things I drink that is that big and I'm holding my finger up like two inches.

[48] Two inches.

[49] Yeah.

[50] It's that, it's two inches.

[51] and it'll take me 10, 15 minutes to drink it.

[52] For an espresso?

[53] Yeah, it should be like a slow.

[54] Oh my God.

[55] Why are you drinking so slow?

[56] I like it.

[57] I like the savory.

[58] Like this, like a gentleman.

[59] Pinky's out, bro.

[60] There's only one way to do it with these fat Neanderthal fingers.

[61] If you're holding that little tiny handle, you can't get your whole hand in there like a man. You can't look like a man drinking an espresso.

[62] Right.

[63] It's not like a beerstein made out of a rhino horn.

[64] It's a tiny little thing.

[65] You cannot look tough drinking an expanse.

[66] But I drink my.

[67] in like three seconds do you just throw it down and then i go to the gym well i do that too one time i uh i drank five i have an espresso espresso maker and i put five capsules in there and i filled a mug up with it like a coffee mug and i drank it and i ran four miles no was it as fucking animal through the hills like i was being chased by wolves you're just howling what fuck am i doing wolves are chasing you i was like why did i drink so much so what is espresso at what is it there, Jamie.

[68] Okay, coffee brewed.

[69] See, but it all depends on the company because Starbucks is extremely caffeinated.

[70] Yeah, see, Starbucks is way up the chart.

[71] Look at it there.

[72] Starbucks tall is like closing in on 200 and what is it looks like about 270.

[73] Yeah, I think that's somewhere in the range of 270 milligrams of caffeine.

[74] But that's a coffee.

[75] That's not.

[76] Right.

[77] So coffee, it would be better to go to Starbucks and get a tall coffee then.

[78] There's an espresso.

[79] See how low it is?

[80] It's below 100.

[81] Yeah.

[82] So that's a coffee.

[83] So that's a coffee.

[84] So that's a coffee.

[85] So, so that's, why I'm drinking so many of them.

[86] So when I drank five, I guess, I think I had five.

[87] I paid 500 milligrams, which is basically less than drinking two of these things.

[88] See?

[89] Yeah, these caveman nitros.

[90] These are the shit.

[91] Yeah.

[92] I live off these goddamn things.

[93] They're responsible for half my productivity.

[94] Basically, I'm two chicken shit to go on Adderall.

[95] So I just drink this stuff all day.

[96] Well, it's a good move.

[97] Good move.

[98] There's nothing wrong with coffee, man. I'm scared of Adderall.

[99] But people admit they're addicted to coffee, and everyone's like, ah, me too.

[100] If you go, dude, I am so addicted to Adderall.

[101] They're like, okay, Joe.

[102] Dude, I'm not calling you anymore.

[103] Like, you're going to think I'm lame, but till five years ago, I didn't even know what Adderall it was.

[104] No, I think you're smart.

[105] Like, I did, like, all my friends in Houston, they do it.

[106] And I asked my friend, like, I text them, and I go, hey, man, what's your addy?

[107] And he goes, yeah, we got Adderall.

[108] I was like, what?

[109] Are you talking?

[110] No, your address to go to your house.

[111] Literally he thought I was talking about Adderall And then he explained to me Like when you're in a club and you want to stay up And you want to stay like energized You take Adderall And I was like oh okay But I don't drink So I can stay up till 3, 4 o 'clock in the morning And be fine What's fascinating about Adderall Is what they've essentially done Is taking an amphetamine And made it so that If you prescribe it for a condition Right like they give it to people What ADD is one of them Right whatever the fuck that means and it's very debatable whether or not you have it or don't have it.

[112] Everybody has ADD.

[113] I have it for sure.

[114] If it's real, if it's real, I have it.

[115] But they give you Adderall, which is fucking speed.

[116] And because it's a medication that you give to somebody who supposedly has a condition, and by the way, I'm not diagnosing you.

[117] If you're out there, you're getting frustrated with me right now.

[118] Just listen to me. It's fucking speed.

[119] Maybe you need speed.

[120] Maybe you're that person that needs speed.

[121] Maybe you do need it legitimately as a medication.

[122] But there's all.

[123] fuck load of people that are just doing speed.

[124] So by somebody giving you speed, it's supposed to slow you down so you won't have ADD?

[125] Is that the reasoning?

[126] They say legit, if you have the legit ADD.

[127] Look, I am not doubting that some people have whatever the fuck I have worse than I have it.

[128] Yeah.

[129] There's a spectrum, right, with everything.

[130] But for some people, when they take Adderall or similar type of substances, it actually lets them focus.

[131] And they can actually be on track.

[132] So by speeding it up somehow it focuses in it i don't get it i think the system it's i think the idea is that it's proof that their system is wired wrong which is why when you give them that speed they can center out and mellow out my uh my friend my friend's a doctor and i was talking to him and i used to you know just pop by to say what's up and he goes hey man just to let you know the more you go to a doctor the faster you'll die and i go what yeah he's like i just want to let no yeah yeah he says the more you go to us, you come to us, the faster you'll die.

[133] I was like, what are you talking about?

[134] Because a lot of doctors are crooked and they'll give you something for what you think you got.

[135] And then after that wears off, they have to give you something else.

[136] So now you just keep filling yourself with stuff to fix the other thing that was wrong.

[137] And he goes, some doctors are not good people.

[138] And he goes, the more people go to doctors, the faster they die.

[139] Put it in point, my mom beat breast cancer twice, right?

[140] And my dad's never been to the doctor.

[141] He's 75 years old, never been to the doctor once.

[142] he's like, well, as soon as you go to a doctor, they tell you something wrong, you die.

[143] You know, literally.

[144] Yeah, but if you have cancer, you should go to a fucking doctor.

[145] Well, he didn't have cancer.

[146] My mom did.

[147] Right.

[148] But if he had cancer, he should go to a fucking doctor.

[149] But I don't think he would go, even if he had it.

[150] Yeah, he's just like, your mom beat it twice and she's still here.

[151] Yes, she is.

[152] In the second time she beat, she didn't even tell me she had it.

[153] Doesn't your dad want to beat it if he gets it?

[154] Nah.

[155] My dad has kind of dude is like, hey, I've been through a lot.

[156] I'm fine.

[157] Like, he hates going to the doctor.

[158] The only time he went to the doctor, he had a back problem.

[159] And that's it like if you met a good doctor.

[160] What if you met a good doctor?

[161] Like a doctor that he likes, like a guy he plays golf with or some shit.

[162] My dad is not social.

[163] It's not?

[164] No. No, I'm totally.

[165] It's weird.

[166] You're so social.

[167] I'm totally opposite.

[168] Like, my dad's story is crazy.

[169] Like, he, you know, he went through segregation.

[170] He got a PhD in nuclear physics.

[171] Oh, yeah.

[172] My dad's a genius.

[173] Oh, shit.

[174] And you're out there talking shit and telling jokes.

[175] Telling jokes.

[176] I'm a failure.

[177] I'm a failure.

[178] But you're not because you're a genius.

[179] success at it so he's got to go all right yeah yeah he knew he's the one that told me to drop out of college really yeah I play football for the how did he say it though he said you need to drop out of college you're not smart like that's not supportive it's not like Michael you need to drop out of college chase your dreams oh no no no no no he's like my dad's whole thing is I got a PhD in nuclear physics I know what wanting to be in school is and and you don't want to be in school and you you got a personality go do that but you're dumb like literally He would say that.

[180] My parents were not supportive, though.

[181] They were just not support.

[182] Like, my mom wanted me to be a doctor, but she knew I wasn't bright enough to be a doctor.

[183] So, like, my dad said you got to drop out.

[184] See, I don't think you're not bright enough to be a doctor.

[185] I think you're not interested in being a doctor.

[186] Yeah, no. See, because I see how you pursue stand -up and show business.

[187] You're a bright, ambitious guy.

[188] You just don't want to be operating on people that are on anesthesia with fucking headlamps on and shit.

[189] and rubber gloves covered with blood.

[190] Get the fuck out of here.

[191] I don't want nobody dying on me. That would be the worst.

[192] Having somebody die while you're working on them?

[193] And then you got to go tell their fans, hey, man, sorry, my bad.

[194] You know, the pressure of those people.

[195] Jamie, was it you that was telling me yesterday about the guy who's the EMT who sees?

[196] Tell me, tell me what you told me. He said he was listening to the podcast we did with Louis J. Gomez about people getting head injuries.

[197] And he has been doing, I believe, for like 15 years or so.

[198] It doesn't do it every single day because you don't.

[199] work every single day, but on a three -day basis or so.

[200] Every day he works, he sees at least one person dead from a head injury, whether it's an elderly person that slipped on ice, something.

[201] People fall and hit their heads.

[202] Oh yeah.

[203] Like that's why, please, folks, if you're listening to me and you want to punch somebody and knock them out, please don't do it.

[204] Just go to a gym, get your frustrations out.

[205] Don't fight on the street.

[206] You could kill somebody or you can get killed, even accidentally.

[207] Even if you really don't hate the guy that much, you punch him in the face.

[208] They go unconscious, their head hits the ground.

[209] People die all the time.

[210] I mean, I've told the story about when Kevin James used to work as a bouncer in Long Island, a guy that he was working with, punched a guy and killed him.

[211] Really?

[212] Yeah, Kevin wasn't there, but he knew the guy, and the guy accidentally killed a drunk guy.

[213] Drunk guy's coming at him.

[214] He punched him, I guess.

[215] I don't know the whole story.

[216] But that shit happens all the time.

[217] I've seen guys get knocked out.

[218] And it's not about the punch, though.

[219] It's about when they hit their head after the punch.

[220] You're getting hit by the world.

[221] Yeah.

[222] Think about that.

[223] Think of the world just dropped on your head.

[224] That's what it's like.

[225] Your body mass bouncing off a completely, especially concrete, there's no give.

[226] So your head just, cluck, it sounds horrible.

[227] Listen to someone's head bounce off concrete is one of the scariest fucking sounds.

[228] It's horrible.

[229] Even if you do it to somebody and you wanted to hurt them, when you hear their head bounce off concrete, you're like, oh shit.

[230] Like that's not as simple as like you punched them.

[231] You punch them and then, you know, whatever they weigh, 190 pounds with all the mass of gravity, all their mass and gravity, pulling them towards the ground with nothing slowing it down.

[232] But meat and head, bang, bone, shoulder.

[233] That reminds me when I was 10 years old, I was sitting on the curb.

[234] And this is the first time I saw death in real life from a head injury.

[235] I was sitting with my friend on the curb and a guy was driving a motorcycle and he was speeding up and down the street.

[236] and right on iriswood in houston texas he's flying down a car pulls out and he hits it back then they didn't wear helmets so he literally flew up in the air and landed about 20 feet from us his head hit first and exploded like a watermelon and this is like i was 10 years old watching this so the next morning you know the police come my parents get me to tell me don't look at it to put i i go out there the next day it's just bloodstains everywhere and his wife is picking up his hair that stuck to the concrete and I remember it so vividly I was next door neighbor was Eric and we were sitting on the curb watching this lady pick up her husband's hair that was stuck in and that's the first time I ever saw death and it it was oh and it was a gnarly death too it was like that faces of death stuff like it was bad it was bad I never rode a motorcycle because of that yeah there's not there's not a lot of reasons to ride a motorcycle other than that's awesome.

[237] Yeah.

[238] Just this fucking danger.

[239] I took motorcycle safety classes and then two of my friends wiped out.

[240] One of them got hit by a car and one of them fell going around a corner and fucked his shoulder up.

[241] I, after that accident, probably about six years later, you know when three -wheelers were big back there.

[242] And my friend, same friend that was on the curb, we were three -wheeling.

[243] And where I grew up, there was a bunch of ditches.

[244] So we're going and he thought he could go down in the ditch and come up the other side.

[245] But I think he forgot that it's flat on the bottom of real ditches.

[246] So literally, we're going and we hit the bottom.

[247] And I flew up in literally half my face was like just wrecked.

[248] I was in the hospital.

[249] And we didn't have helmets at that time.

[250] And because we were young and dumb and just wanted to like.

[251] Stupid.

[252] Kids.

[253] Like when you let boys just wander around.

[254] It's never good It's never The dumb shit that they do That they think is okay Let's try this Hey take those fireworks And stick them in this tree This old rotted down tree Let's blow it up And the problem is I think I think today parents At least we know More I feel we tell But like our parents At least my parents They didn't really give me guidance You know They were kind of like Hey figure it out on your own Mine too Yeah I think that was that generation though Yeah Like my parents is the parents that didn't tell you they loved me till I was 29 and I forced them to.

[255] It's that kind of thing.

[256] Wow.

[257] Yeah.

[258] That's different.

[259] Yeah, my parents tell me I love me all the time.

[260] My parents are hippies.

[261] Oh, my dad are hippies.

[262] I don't know.

[263] Maybe it was my...

[264] In a good way.

[265] In a good way.

[266] Really nice people.

[267] Yeah.

[268] But, yeah, man, they didn't tell me shit, though.

[269] Like, what to do?

[270] Yeah.

[271] So why your grade so bad?

[272] I'm like, I don't know.

[273] What the fuck do I do?

[274] Tell me someone tell me what to do.

[275] But they've worked.

[276] man you know like when in you have like if you have a full -time job and the wife has a full -time job and you're raising children man how much time does that really leave i mean you don't get home until six seven like when do you get out of work at five like by the time you get home the kids have been home from school for three hours already exhausted they just want to eat and go to sleep yeah like you're not learning anything about each other for like five days a week well i that's my my mom worked for my dad so i got to see my mom a lot but it was a type of relationship where when i was growing my mom's Asian, my dad's black, I guess there wasn't that, hey, we love you.

[277] I mean, I knew they loved me, but they didn't ever say it.

[278] And the only reason they said it is because I was dating a girl at the time and they used the I love you thing all the time.

[279] And I thought that was very strange because I've never heard people just say it all the, hey, I love you, I love you.

[280] So I called my dad and I was like, hey, I love you.

[281] And he goes, and he hung up.

[282] Like literally he got like kind of like, he was just like, okay.

[283] You know, it's like, all right, cool.

[284] And then he hung up.

[285] And now after I got married and have a kid, now we say, I love you all the time.

[286] You know, so, because I don't want my son to grow up with, no, I love you.

[287] Beautiful.

[288] You know?

[289] Yeah.

[290] It's just, this is a different time for them, man. It was a different time.

[291] It's a foolish insecurity.

[292] Because if you say you love you, if you say I love you to someone, either they love you back and it feels great or they don't and you don't hang out with them anymore.

[293] It's so true.

[294] You want to say, I love you to somebody.

[295] They're like, eh.

[296] Well, I reserve it for people.

[297] that I love, and usually they love you too.

[298] Unless you're, there's something wrong with your wiring, unless you're looking at it wrong, you know?

[299] Yeah, I, no, that's never happened to me, Joe, where I told somebody I loved them and they said nothing back.

[300] It can happen dudes clam up sometimes.

[301] Tell a friend you love them.

[302] Hey, I love you, man. They go, yikes.

[303] This is not for me. This is too weird, man. I grew up in Nebraska.

[304] But I think it's also a young dude thing, too.

[305] When you're young, you're macho, you don't want to say I love you to.

[306] Dude, now when you get older.

[307] Especially if you live in Nebraska.

[308] Yeah.

[309] I'm just kidding Nebraska.

[310] Don't get up tight.

[311] Somebody sent me a box in Nebraska T -shirts.

[312] Like the cornhuskers?

[313] Like the shit on Nebraska once?

[314] Like, listen, son, I ain't wearing that.

[315] My wife's father is from Nebraska.

[316] Is he?

[317] Yeah.

[318] There you go.

[319] It's a good spot.

[320] It's a good as spot as any.

[321] All those spots that used to suck, they don't suck as much anymore.

[322] I mean, the internet.

[323] Really?

[324] I mean, what's there to do in Nebraska?

[325] Let's be serious.

[326] Fescent hunt?

[327] I think it's a good.

[328] pheasant hunting spot.

[329] Okay.

[330] They got the corn huskers.

[331] They got corn.

[332] I mean, if you just want to be alone, start a cult, I think it's a good spot.

[333] Start out.

[334] That's great.

[335] Yeah.

[336] If you want to start a cult, though, you've got to live in an attractive climate.

[337] You know, I think that's why, that's why what's that place in Arizona that everybody goes to?

[338] Scottsdale?

[339] No, no, no, the other one.

[340] Sedona?

[341] Yeah, that one.

[342] That's the one where all the cult leaders go to.

[343] How do you explain Waco then?

[344] That's the armpit of Texas.

[345] It is, but it isn't.

[346] You can get to Dallas pretty quick from Waco.

[347] You can recruit, you can go to Dallas.

[348] You can go to Dallas.

[349] You've got a ranch out in Waco.

[350] Go check out a Cowboys game.

[351] Come back after recruiting.

[352] It's not that far.

[353] Yeah.

[354] No, I couldn't, this whole cult thing, I don't get it.

[355] Sedone is a weird one, right?

[356] Because it's all like crystals and healers.

[357] It's all people looking to be spiritual.

[358] They've given up on traditional religion, but they seem to need that sort of vibe.

[359] Yeah.

[360] And so they get into like spiritual stuff and channelers and healers.

[361] Have you got into that stuff?

[362] Yeah, I knew it all day long.

[363] What about channeling, bro?

[364] That's my thing.

[365] I'm into channeling.

[366] Yeah, right.

[367] I mean, no, no. I think we, I really do believe, and I've been believing this more and more lately, though, that our understanding of what our memory is is very limited.

[368] And that the reason why people are scared of things, some things, is probably because there's some sort of genetic memory of someone that, that they knew, like, I bet your kid will have somehow or another that knowledge of that motorcycle accident and that feat.

[369] There's, I think shit like that goes through DNA.

[370] Really?

[371] Yeah, I do.

[372] I think that's why kids are scared of monsters?

[373] You know, why is kids scared of monsters?

[374] Why aren't they scared of bullets or fires or, you know, like, why aren't they scared?

[375] I mean, they're scared of something that I was scared of growing up.

[376] Is that what you're saying?

[377] No, that animals used to eat people.

[378] Yeah.

[379] That's what I think.

[380] I think monsters represent like jaguars and shit like you're going through the jungle and try to get some water and you get jacked that's our ancestors all of our ancestors every single human being on this planet came from Africa all of us 100 % of us everyone Asian black white all of us got eaten all of our ancestors and our DNA it's wired there's cats out there bro what are you afraid of monsters in the dark those are cats man we got jacked by cats like all the time yeah yeah so that's why everybody's scared of things under the bed what's in the closet they're hiding they're cats big cats looking to get you i don't know about that this was very scary for a moment but i don't believe in that why do you think that animals have instincts right like here's a perfect example but we have instincts right but what kind of instincts animals have weird instincts like they all sniff each other's assholes yeah they all piss on spots where other animals did they don't nobody had to teach my dog how to do that.

[381] My dog, I got him when he was six weeks old.

[382] And I've had him for two and a half years.

[383] That motherfucker will sniff something and he sees something and he sees on it.

[384] He pees on it.

[385] But he learned that from his...

[386] He didn't learn that from nobody.

[387] No, he learned that from his dog people.

[388] Trust me. When he came over here, he didn't know, Jack's shit.

[389] So he'd learned that from us?

[390] No, I think it's in his DNA.

[391] Okay, yeah, I get that.

[392] But what is the DNA?

[393] Like, doesn't your DNA carry some traces of information onto your own children?

[394] Like, What I notice in my children is they share certain weird traits that I have that I don't think like, like obsessive compulsive traits that I don't think they see because I don't really bring that home.

[395] Like especially like the workout stuff and like some some things that I really get kind of psychotic about martial arts stuff.

[396] My middle daughter has that in a crazy way.

[397] And I'm like, oh, okay, this is me if I was a girl.

[398] Okay.

[399] Like if I was a little girl, this is me?

[400] Like what is this?

[401] So is this my memory that's in her?

[402] or is it, do I have like some weird, obsessive gene?

[403] Like, which is it?

[404] It is the DNA because I see my son.

[405] He's only two.

[406] He just turned two.

[407] But he makes facial expressions and looks like he does certain looks that I do.

[408] And my wife goes, he's acting like you right now.

[409] Do you think he's acting like you because he sees you act like that?

[410] Or is he acting like you because he knows in his head that that's how you react.

[411] He's wired like that.

[412] Because when I watch it, he doesn't know.

[413] A lot of this stuff he does, I don't even do.

[414] He just does, like my mom, oh, I'll come over and she'll watch him.

[415] She go, you know, he's just like you when you were this age.

[416] And it's so weird.

[417] Yeah, it's in the DNA.

[418] It's in something, right?

[419] Whatever it is.

[420] Whether it's in cellular memory, DNA, some sort of genetic information gets passed on from the parents to the child.

[421] You could say that about athletics, though.

[422] No, but that's a little different, though.

[423] But it's in the DNA.

[424] Yeah, it is in the DNA.

[425] but it's not an ethereal thing like a thought you know what I mean yeah like here's one a phidia phytophobia or arachnophobia fear of snakes or spiders those have you ever seen anybody who has that well you were on Fear Factor with me oh my god that was that was the worst I should say you were you made it out brother congratulations no do you remember I was season one episode one I was the pilot episode of fear that's where I met you for the first 16 can you believe 16 what 2001 yeah what is that where we that's 18 years ago we met because that was that was right after 9 -11 yes yeah right after and they flew us down and the first time i met you it was that saddle ranch and you were like welcome this dude oh okay this is later this is later this is way later when we did the new season of it in like 2011 yeah you tried to get me to eat that spider yeah that's And I didn't even taste bad, bro.

[426] Dude, dude, that's not a normal thing.

[427] And you just chomped it like a chance.

[428] So this whole scene, I'm acting like a little B. Oh, you just was a little fearful.

[429] You got to eat sheep's eyeballs, though.

[430] I remember which you had to eat.

[431] Dude, now those were disgusting.

[432] Did you eat the sheep eyeball?

[433] Yeah, I ate it because I felt bad for you guys.

[434] That was before I'd hardened.

[435] I'd been hardened to the world.

[436] Because you guys were episode one, season one.

[437] And it didn't seem right for me that you guys would have to eat these things, and I didn't eat it.

[438] So I said, all right, if you guys eat it all.

[439] you too but they didn't show it like they wouldn't show it on television that I ate it because they didn't they like they didn't want it to look too easy easy yeah it's so weird but it was but yeah oh my god I remember biting down into it and it kind of like burst yeah and then that retina you had to just chump yeah you had to chew on that retina and we had to eat three of them yeah they weren't good no they were horrible but you know it was surprisingly mild I ate a roach I'm not not bragging just it didn't taste like much Is this a roach?

[440] No, it doesn't taste like much.

[441] But why would you eat a roach?

[442] Was that part of the show?

[443] Yeah, I was a celebrity fear factor.

[444] Okay.

[445] There was a young lady who was scared to eat a roach, and she was going to get eliminated from the show.

[446] And so I said, listen, I'll make you a deal.

[447] If you do it, I'll do it.

[448] And she's like, you will?

[449] I go, yeah, I will.

[450] And she wouldn't do it.

[451] So she made a deal like three worms.

[452] She decided I'll eat three worms.

[453] Like, we negotiated three worms.

[454] and so then I ate a roach.

[455] I remember when I was on that show, the question they would ask you in the survey is, what's your fear of dying?

[456] And I wrote down dying underwater because that would be my biggest fear is dying underwater.

[457] And so our last stunt was when they dumped us on the water and my friends still send me screenshots of that because that's when I had long hair and I put a bunch of gel in it and they dunked me under the tank and literally it looked like a squid.

[458] Like a slick.

[459] Oh my God.

[460] You, if you, you can Google it, Google Michael Yo, Fear Factor.

[461] And it's, my friends will just screenshot that.

[462] And they still play that.

[463] To this day, they still play that episode.

[464] Yeah, they play all of them.

[465] They play them on different, like, true TV or something like that, one of those cable shows.

[466] I remember that when we were talking, I would go, because you were, what show were you on at that time?

[467] News radio.

[468] You were on news radio.

[469] Well, that was a couple of years earlier.

[470] There you are.

[471] Look at that.

[472] What happened?

[473] And, okay, so that's the cheap eyeballs.

[474] Michael, yo.

[475] Look at you.

[476] Look at you eating sheep's eyeballs.

[477] So at the end, at the end, I go to Joe and I go, hey man, I can't do the last stunt.

[478] Look at that.

[479] I can't.

[480] Okay.

[481] So this is you talking to me. Because Joe goes, Joe goes, hey, I go, Joe, I'm not going to be able to make it through this whole stunt.

[482] I can't hold my breath for that long.

[483] And you go, oh, just make it look great for the camera.

[484] So when I get.

[485] I was going to try to talk you into.

[486] it, but I wasn't good enough at it then.

[487] I had to figure out how to talk people into it, because I knew there's some people that were just psyching themselves out.

[488] Yeah, and the smoker won our episode.

[489] The guy that we thought that was going to lose.

[490] No oxygen.

[491] Yeah.

[492] His fucking system.

[493] He's used to having no oxygen.

[494] And that's when they cast it Fear Factor off of personality, and then it just became a hot fest.

[495] Like, if you were sexy of it.

[496] It was also, you know, they kept ramping up the difficulty of stuff.

[497] Like, the last season scared the shit out of me when they were launching a car through a moving train and an explosion happens when the car it was like what you're gonna kill somebody like and when i came up to your uh i think it was the last season y 'all were doing something with a donkey dong don't you come yeah that's what got us canceled yes because i remember showing up and joe says come here yo and he goes they're about to drink donkey come like well that was so crazy i thought everybody was going to quit when I showed up that day and they brought the paper into my trailer and they told me what it was going to be I don't think I knew about that one before some of them I had known about before but I don't think I knew about that one I think when they brought that in I had no idea and I was like you can't do this I'm like no one's going to do it first of all they're all going to quit but what was hilarious is I'm sitting there next to you watching them drink this stuff and then we're just laughing we just laugh but dude how about an intern had a drink it.

[498] An intern had a drink it.

[499] I think they only got like $100.

[500] What, for what?

[501] Well, there was like part of the thing is that they would have to test it.

[502] When they would like say, here's, I'll give you this some fair factor info.

[503] So like say if you had to eat like kidneys.

[504] Yeah.

[505] Right.

[506] How many, how many kidneys can someone eat in a minute?

[507] You know, like how much, how much meat can you actually like disgusting, dried meat can you consume?

[508] And so what we had was certain interns that would volunteer for it and they would get like an extra hundred and something dollars and I would always give him money too I would always give him a couple hundred bucks on top of it but they would they would eat whatever the fuck it was and then they would determine all right well Mike usually can put it down like no one and if he can only get through three and then some other producer would come in and go fuck this we're being pussies make him eat four oh I would go like four you guys are crazy and this was like the debate the debate on the that would be like how much blood should they drink one gallon one gallon of blood like they never drank blood but you know what i'm saying like how many horse dicks they never ate a horse dick but they did eat like what it was it and elk dicks and deer dicks but the donkey come was the worst oh yeah and i even remember after shoot you were like yeah i think the show's over after this like they didn't air it i think they didn't air it they couldn't even other countries though oh did it really yeah so you could get it like in i think it's like dutch and so it's like you hear Hear us talk in English, but then they have Dutch subtitles.

[509] Yeah, that was, that was such.

[510] So stupid.

[511] It's so dumb.

[512] Are you surprised how stupid people are to go?

[513] No, because I think people are like, look, it's an experience.

[514] I'm here for the experience.

[515] I'm going to have some fun.

[516] This is crazy.

[517] But when you get to Donkey Come, you're kind of being rude to those folks.

[518] You know, you got donkey, this, donkey.

[519] But then the Donkey Come is like.

[520] Taking advantage of their need for fame in a weird way.

[521] No, you are.

[522] But hey, they want to give it That's the game And I remember you showing it to me first And it was in this large Glass container And they, and it wasn't a little They had to drink No, no, no It was like They had to drink a lot Yeah, it was like The aforementioned Rino's horn Beer mug It was a fucking Large Chug of Jizz Yeah You know what's even more offensive Donkeys are They're not fertile Look at it There it is Oh that's it Yes So that cum is useless It's not just cum But imagine it's like It's come that can never even be babies Okay It's bullshit But I remember when y 'all used to do stunts This is disgusting I remember y 'all used to do stunts It was actually a delicate Like people in other countries Actually ate it Sometimes Oh sometimes Yeah like balooo So that's not That's just being mean No that's just being mean Okay that's no other country Is doing that just for fun Yeah they gave up on that whole This in other countries This is considered the delicacy.

[523] Yeah, they gave up on that a long time ago.

[524] Yeah, you had to push the envelope on that now.

[525] One of the things that made things gross, smell -wise, was actually really expensive cheese.

[526] They would go to this expensive, what is it, a formagerie?

[527] What do they call them?

[528] What do they call one of those cheese places?

[529] Yeah, that's like Italian for cheese.

[530] Formasherie, is always, formasurim.

[531] Isn't it French, too, something like that?

[532] Oh, sure, I'm proud, yeah, yeah.

[533] Jamie's my, that's my translation.

[534] They both come.

[535] familiar.

[536] I'm dumb.

[537] I'm dumb.

[538] So there you go.

[539] But anyway, this cheese that we would use was disgusting.

[540] It smelled so bad, but apparently it tastes really good if you're into that kind of cheese.

[541] Like, Bourdain was really into stinky cheese.

[542] Like, he would talk to me about it like with passion, like that's just the fucking stinkier the better, like disgusting smelling cheese.

[543] And the taste is fantastic.

[544] I'd be like, wow.

[545] I would think that the smell would to turn you off.

[546] Yeah, absolutely.

[547] I don't know.

[548] It's like one of those things where I guess you catch like the right vibe.

[549] Like you go in it with the right attitude.

[550] There is no attitude.

[551] If it stinks, fuck that, dude.

[552] I can't eat it's expensive cheese and they would squeegee it off into a blender.

[553] Nah.

[554] And then they blend it up with the other stuff like worms and shit.

[555] It would make the worms taste horrific or smell horrific.

[556] Oh, so you would just mess them with their smell sense.

[557] So it could make it seem like it was worse than it really.

[558] making it worse because it smelled worse.

[559] So it was making it more like you can smell it but people would just start retching it was it's a ridiculous fucking thing it's a ridiculous thing like to the show is really silly.

[560] No but I love that these people wanted to be famous well you did it too bro but I was no no no but I was different no me too me too No, no, because how it happened, I was in Austin, Texas, and there was an ad in a paper that goes, hey, have you ever done anything adventurous?

[561] And I was like, no, let me go in for this cast.

[562] I was a radio DJ out there at this radio station.

[563] So I go in, and then Mikey, they called him the chimp, he was the casting person.

[564] And literally two weeks later, three weeks later, I'm in Hollywood shooting this thing, and then I meet you.

[565] And then I remember going up to you, because I was in awe.

[566] It was the first time in Hollywood.

[567] I go, and I knew you from news radio.

[568] I was like, how do you do it?

[569] And you go, just fucking be yourself.

[570] You can be successful.

[571] And that's what you're doing right now.

[572] Just fucking being yourself, man. That's what you're doing too.

[573] We're trying.

[574] We're trying, man. You listened.

[575] I did listen.

[576] What a ridiculous piece of advice.

[577] Just be yourself.

[578] Just be yourself.

[579] Whatever you do, don't improve.

[580] Just be yourself.

[581] Be who you are right now forever.

[582] Good luck.

[583] Just be yourself.

[584] That's all you need, bro.

[585] That's it.

[586] Just you.

[587] Don't anybody tell you wrong.

[588] Just believe in your dreams.

[589] And make it.

[590] a vision board.

[591] Joe was just trying to get me out of his face.

[592] I'll just be you.

[593] All right.

[594] That is the right advice, especially if you want to be an entertainer.

[595] If you can figure out how to be yourself, as long as yourself is actually something interesting.

[596] And if it's not, working yourself.

[597] Yeah.

[598] And then you even said that about acting.

[599] He's like, I remember specifically you say, oh, acting's not hard.

[600] It's just you yourself and you play that emotion.

[601] And I was like, oh, that sounds easy.

[602] It's easy in comparison to stand up in some ways, but it's not like, disrespect like the kind of shit that like Daniel Dale Lewis and Leonardo DiCaprio well yeah when they when they get into a fucking role and you're like god damn that guy just own that shit like they get into what I'm talking about was like sitcom acting yeah sitcom acting and they were hiring you to be you at that time 100 % yeah so it was a slightly dumb down version of me who was into slightly more conspiracy theories than me when I was on news radio that's all it was yeah it was basically me like they wrote a lot of that conspiracy shit in after i talked to them about like jfk and fucking you know UFOs and stuff you believe in UFOs oh yeah oh my god really yeah yeah see i believe in there's other other life forms out there but i don't i don't think they're coming here they might they might well why not think it just because here's a here's one thing i do believe most people are full shit yeah it comes to like most of their stories like it's it's hard to find a person that could just tell you what happened based on what they really remember.

[603] People want to jazz things up and they want to add salt and pepper.

[604] Yeah.

[605] They just sex with me. They don't, they don't necessarily tell you the truth.

[606] They tell you what they think is going to be an engaging story that kind of represents the truth, maybe, especially when it's a weird thing like you saw something in the sky.

[607] What did you really see?

[608] How long did you look at it for?

[609] How many seconds was it?

[610] Well, I mean, here's the problem I have with UFOs.

[611] I believe there are UFOs, but I don't think they're coming here.

[612] Why would you say that?

[613] Because that means their tech.

[614] First of all, if they're coming here, that means their technology is far, way more advanced than ours.

[615] So why would they care if people saw them?

[616] They would show up if I was an alien and I was that far ahead of us.

[617] I would lay in that bitch right in the middle of Times Square and be like, what?

[618] We are here.

[619] But why would you do that?

[620] But why wouldn't I?

[621] Why am I hiding in fields where nobody can see us?

[622] Are you aware of how we treat uncontacted tribes?

[623] Yes, to a point.

[624] But what I'm saying is if you're that far advanced, they know.

[625] If they're coming here, they know.

[626] They're way smarter than us.

[627] Because they've traveled here.

[628] And we don't even know other, from far distances we can't even imagine.

[629] And they're here.

[630] They don't have to hide.

[631] But do you think they do it because they have to hide?

[632] or do you think maybe they do it because we can't handle it?

[633] Because we can't handle it.

[634] Why would they care if we could handle it or not?

[635] Because here's the problem.

[636] Whenever any civilization has ever encountered a civilization far superior to them, the results have always been catastrophic every single time.

[637] Every time Europeans have invaded North America, every time the Spanish visited the Mexicans, every time this has happened, it's been a disaster.

[638] and this is human beings, if there was something that came down here from another planet and was so unbelievably sophisticated that it could travel through vast distances in space and had insurmountable, impossible technology, that we would look to it for all of our answers.

[639] It would become our new daddy.

[640] It would completely disrupt all of our governments.

[641] It would disrupt all of our religions.

[642] It would disrupt every single belief system we have.

[643] And people would fall apart.

[644] They wouldn't know what to do.

[645] Psychologically, it would be devastating.

[646] Look, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist, but I know most people would not be able to handle it.

[647] I understand that, but why would they care?

[648] Because that's my whole point.

[649] Why would they care about us?

[650] Because they would be affecting our culture.

[651] But they wouldn't care.

[652] But why wouldn't they care?

[653] But why would they care?

[654] We care about animals, bro.

[655] There's a reason why we have wildlife protection agencies.

[656] We have that because we care about animals.

[657] And animals don't even know we're a thing.

[658] If you're a deer living in the forest, two years old, you might not have ever even seen a person.

[659] You don't even know what the fuck we are.

[660] But we're trying to keep those deer alive.

[661] We spend billions of dollars every year protecting them.

[662] We do that because we care about wildlife.

[663] If we cared about a rare monkey that we found in Indonesia, for some strange monkey, we would do whatever we could to make sure that monkeys' populations thrived.

[664] If there was a way to help them, I mean, that's one of the reasons why zoos exist.

[665] They take rare animals.

[666] They try to breed them in captivity.

[667] But we're also sharing the same earth.

[668] Well, maybe they look at the universe that way.

[669] And maybe they look at nuclear civilizations, like our civilization, I mean, our civilization is a very dangerous one because we're a bunch of semi -hairless monkeys with nuclear weapons.

[670] I mean, we're fucking nuts, bro.

[671] Oh, yeah.

[672] And we're obsessed with sex.

[673] We jack off to our phones.

[674] We're taking pills to keep our dick hard.

[675] We're all on speed.

[676] I mean, this are, and we're at, and we lie.

[677] We lie about shit.

[678] We lie about things that people did to us.

[679] We pretend people did worse things.

[680] We pretend that we didn't do things to people We lie about stealing We lie about money We lie about all kinds of things I mean people are so So you're thinking You're thinking aliens are thinking about all that Before they come down Of course they would Why wouldn't they?

[681] Because I guess I'm coming from a human point of view Where we don't give a shit about anything But here's the thing that's not true We do give a shit about things That's why when you go to the Galapagos Islands You're not allowed to take your shoes That you walked around Los Angeles And walk around the Galapagos Island Because people have done that and they've gotten seeds from their shoes stuck in the sand over there and the ground over there and then new plants grow that are invasive species that we're worried about ecosystems that we really are that's why humans that's where we're worried about invasive species when new species get introduced to new ecosystems like we were just talking about this yesterday Everglades like people are doing whatever the fuck they can to get the pythons and the Everglades these assholes have released pythons and there's a real fucking redneck Jurassic Park going on in the middle of Florida.

[682] Yeah.

[683] You know, we care.

[684] Yeah, I lived in Miami, man. And at the time I lived in Miami, talk about, like...

[685] You did radio out there, right?

[686] Yeah, Y -100 in Miami.

[687] That was after Fear Factor.

[688] After Fear Factor.

[689] It landed me that big gig after I was on Fear Factor.

[690] Well, radio was radio back then.

[691] Oh, yeah.

[692] It was real.

[693] It was, like, huge, man. But I remember they had these lakes.

[694] And if you go back like 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators yeah like just alligators did not give a damn they were just snatching people yeah and i was like why are people jogging like literally i like stop jogging well definitely don't jog near the water no and that's the thing i believe like eight people within six months got snatched just jogging mine is that real oh 100 percent probably about eight to 10 years ago just jogging i didn't know that that there was that many deaths ever from oh yeah they were getting snatched one of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near miami and uh he was in a stolen car parked his car on a bridge jumped off the bridge and landed on an alligator alligator jacked him in front of the cops and they were just sitting there going well there you go guilty imagine the dude jumps off the bridge splash that would be this look at oh my god dude oh that guy didn't even notice until the last minute no that's what i'm saying like that happens in florida at that time that is so crazy that is such a big thing that eats deer and shit look at it opens its mouth on them but meanwhile it tries to get away from people well what's interesting the dude didn't even speed up yeah like i was probably really tired off probably really tired yeah he was running for a while dude fuck these things man And fuck these things.

[695] But the craziest thing is when we were showing it yesterday that pythons eat them.

[696] Alligators?

[697] Whole.

[698] But not that size, though.

[699] Dude, one python ate this fucking big ass alligator and it blew its body apart.

[700] Apparently another alligator came along while it had it in its body and tried to eat the python.

[701] And so then it was like this disaster of a python with an alligator inside of it with no head.

[702] Oh, man. But the whole thing was that this python had ate the alligator and then once they eat it, they can't move.

[703] because they got a fucking 900 pound alligator But you love that shit I get a kick out of it I know you do You do I got a problem with them I just I think it's important Eating other animals I think it's important To recognize that we're We're very insulated From what the fuck is going on By cities Yes And that in houses and cities And even towns Even if you have a town It's rare that a fucking Wild predator Makes its way into your town But man that's the whole rest of the world That's the whole world Including the ocean Everywhere is all just Predators and prey Predators and prey Predators and prey We've figured out a way to insula But in insulation the problem is When we're isolated from it We neglect it as an aspect of nature We put it in some weird box Oh my God, this is weird No, that's not weird That's normal, that's normal life Normal life is big things Eating Littleer thing And you don't respect it You really don't respect it When you don't see it Like my parents want to go to Africa on a safari I'm like man you can have that Yeah I would go if I got one of them Like Jurassic Park mobiles that they have with it's all the circle where you roll around the circle where you can't get in it.

[704] You see these people are just in regular jeeps with a lot, open air jeeps where a lion's just walking out.

[705] I was like, how dumb are you?

[706] And most of the time nothing happens.

[707] No, most of it but it could be one or two times where if you're in it.

[708] Two years ago, a woman who worked on Game of Thrones she was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car.

[709] She rolled down the window to take a picture and the cat came and snatched her out of the car.

[710] But don't you think people kind of like that deserve it like people that roll down windows and not safer like that's like people jumping in the pit at the zoo the other day well that's a different the roll down the windows thing i think is really just it's what we're talking about that you're not around it enough so you don't understand what it is but do you have to be around it to know hey these are wild animals and think they can get away with shit if they've never had anything happen to them like if they've never been punched oh this this is a cheetah cheetahs are actually not they're they're actually very curious and they're not dangerous to people so this dude has no idea this thing is in his backseat no he's filming it oh he's filming it that's why he's not moving is the rule don't move i think so man i think the move is don't move you don't want to scare him you definitely don't want to go hey motherfucker you don't want to do that and have a fucking rip your face off they don't have claws they don't have claws like a cat does they're more like a dog yeah you know they're a weird animal.

[711] They're like a weird cat dog thing.

[712] They're super, super fast.

[713] Like, I've never seen one run in real life, but apparently people who I know that have seen it say, you can't believe how fast it is.

[714] You know one thing that blew me away, I was reading about it, that hippopotamuses kill more people a year than all the animals combined.

[715] All of them.

[716] All of them.

[717] Yeah, all of them.

[718] And it's just like people just like don't respect hippopotamuses.

[719] And they're fast and they're strong and they'll rip you apart.

[720] They're like a giant pig.

[721] Yeah.

[722] They're in the pig family.

[723] It's like a cousin to a pig or some shit.

[724] Yeah.

[725] And they're vegetarians.

[726] Yeah.

[727] Like, they're just killing people.

[728] Estimated 500 people per year in Africa.

[729] They kill 500 people a year.

[730] They're aggressive and they have very sharp teeth.

[731] And not only that, man. 2 ,750 kilograms.

[732] What?

[733] What is that?

[734] Dude, what's that in pounds?

[735] That's more than 5 ,000 pounds.

[736] Yeah, 2 .2 times that.

[737] So, yeah.

[738] Oh, my God.

[739] That's, that's, well, people don't respect it because they think they're slow, too.

[740] So when they see them, I think they run like 24 or 25 miles per hour where like a hundred, a person that runs a hundred yard dash in the Olympics, I think average around like 29 to 30 miles per hour.

[741] So you're barely getting away.

[742] This hippos, oh, 19 miles.

[743] Okay, so that's still fast.

[744] Yeah, you're barely getting away.

[745] Well, that's me. I probably can't run 19 miles an hour.

[746] I know, I couldn't.

[747] I'll probably get eaten.

[748] Fuck.

[749] Can you imagine you're like 20 yards away from this thing?

[750] And you're like, ah, it's not going to, and then it just runs up on you.

[751] Well, they say if you ever get chased by an alligator, too, the thing is to juke them.

[752] Go left and go right.

[753] Yeah, that picture's terrifying, man. Oh, my God.

[754] That one scares the shit out of me. That scares the shit out of me. I mean, look at that guy.

[755] He's airborne.

[756] He's launching himself in the air trying to get away from that thing.

[757] Look at that.

[758] Yeah, they chase after boats in the water.

[759] They swim fast.

[760] Yeah, they try to fuck you up, man. They try to fuck you up.

[761] 500 people a year, dude, hippos.

[762] Husband sees hippo bite out wife's heart.

[763] What?

[764] Oh, my God.

[765] Oh, my God.

[766] Imagine your wife falls into the water and that you see the hippo rip open a ribcage.

[767] I would be a hippo punisher.

[768] I would go back to Africa every year.

[769] And kill every one of them.

[770] I'd be responsible for hippo extinction.

[771] They'd be like, you can't do that.

[772] I'm like, but I'm going to.

[773] Come stop me. Don't.

[774] I'm killing all the hippos.

[775] Why not?

[776] I'm killing all the snakes.

[777] If everybody and anyone knew got killed, the first day that something gets killed by a fucking python in Florida, when a human gets jacked, we should send in the Marines.

[778] Just go through the fucking swamp and kill them all.

[779] Just like, they're the enemy.

[780] You just get a giant line of human beings go through and kill those fucking serpents.

[781] They're in the Bible.

[782] Okay?

[783] Yeah.

[784] They're in the Bible.

[785] Snakes will eat your baby.

[786] They will.

[787] You go through.

[788] You kill them all.

[789] I mean, are they...

[790] Don't get cocky with monsters living in your fucking neighborhood.

[791] Is there any purpose of them, though?

[792] Yeah, they kill rats.

[793] But the problem is, in that area, it's not established for them.

[794] So there was this rich ecosystem of mammals and reptiles.

[795] So you're talking about Everglades right now.

[796] Yeah.

[797] It used to be there were some snakes like cotton mouse and stuff like that.

[798] And there was alligators.

[799] But then there was like marsh hares and raccoons and skunks.

[800] Gone!

[801] They're all gone.

[802] They're gone.

[803] there's nothing left there's just anacondas and pythons and nile crocodiles now if this got there's another one eating a fucking well let me ask you something and be honest with me if if that guy got eaten like a guy that actually tracks these reptiles do you feel sorry for like if you put in yourself in harm's way yeah because i want that guy to be out there you want that guy to kill those goddamn monsters if you ever look into an eye of a snake and you go oh this thing doesn't give a fuck about anybody it's like it doesn't i was watching this video of a crab and it's a crab a mother crab just sitting there eating its babies it had like thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched like a couple of weeks ago and it's just sitting there eating its babies and i'm like yeah yeah fuck you you're going in the boiling water and i'm going to crack you open have you ever heard him scream when they go in a bowl of cream oh yeah i don't think they're really screaming i think it's probably air escaping their body look at this cunt eat your kids Look at her.

[804] She's eating her kids.

[805] This is crazy.

[806] I was at a friend's house and they caught crabs and they would throw them in.

[807] And I think they scream, man. I think it's like, no, I've really had vocal cords.

[808] This is, what is the name of this?

[809] Video, Jamie, from people that are just listening.

[810] It says, Monster Red Crab eats babies, the dark side of nature.

[811] Yeah.

[812] She's an asshole.

[813] I'm telling you, Joe.

[814] They scream.

[815] They make a noise.

[816] They make a noise.

[817] When you put them in a hot, boiling pot of water.

[818] What is the bottom of her?

[819] She's got a charcoal briquette stuck under her.

[820] Doesn't that look like one of them?

[821] That's where the babies go there.

[822] Easy light.

[823] That's where that came from.

[824] They came from that sack.

[825] And they come right back out.

[826] That is so gross.

[827] She's such an asshole.

[828] She's just sitting there, eating her kids.

[829] You know, like that anybody would give a fuck about crabs.

[830] Oh.

[831] You know?

[832] I mean, it's not like I want them to go extinct.

[833] But that's one animal that we in our house kill ourselves and no one has a problem with it.

[834] Like, if they brought them a rabbit and you got to throw it in the water, like fatal attraction.

[835] It's like that was the only way to keep, but nobody would eat rabbit.

[836] No, no, no, no. And we throw them in, like, alive.

[837] Alive.

[838] Like, moving.

[839] Like, pee -hah.

[840] I'm telling you, they're in the water.

[841] Yeah, most of the time, most people don't even bother taking it off the rubber band.

[842] And lobsters.

[843] Yeah.

[844] And lobsters.

[845] We do not give a shit about lobster.

[846] You, get in there.

[847] Fuck you.

[848] Get in there.

[849] Get in there, you fucking bug.

[850] You see a bird.

[851] What's crazy is, uh, the whole animal kingdom thing.

[852] But one thing that scares me that you were doing when I walked in is playing these fucking shooter game.

[853] Dude, that game is a real problem.

[854] Jamie and I have been going to war for the last, what, two months?

[855] On this start?

[856] Like two months ago?

[857] Yeah, maybe like that sounds like.

[858] I'm in full -blown addiction mode now.

[859] But what is the thrill?

[860] Like, I...

[861] What's the thrill?

[862] Yes.

[863] Do you see us?

[864] We're all sweaty and adrenaline -charges?

[865] We're having a great -ass time.

[866] I walked in, it looks like I'll just finish working out.

[867] It was like crazy.

[868] Jamie and I were going to war.

[869] We go to war.

[870] We talk a lot of shit, too.

[871] We go to war.

[872] Oh, man. I tried to...

[873] it's fun it's fun when he kills me he talks shit to me it's rough you're like god damn it he got me fuckers is that a game where people can go online and play with you too no we don't play with other people no we jump online this is the game this is it this is the game yeah dude it is a fun ass fucking game it's called quake champions okay and people right now listening going god damn he's talking about that again but me and jamy have been um and and jeff our other employee have been playing this fucking constantly see okay see this isn't bad because they're like characters like I was playing one where it's like human beings like and when you shoot somebody like I got scared when you get scared to go into the next room because you're really that nervous like it freaks me out these shooter games are too realistic I grew up with Frogger dude this is like you're always in like some sort of a castle yeah and the the people that you're shooting against they don't look anything like a person they look like some weird cartoon character but the graphics are sensational but more importantly, like the gameplay is very precise and you have to have like real hand -eye coordination and skills.

[874] Like you learn things like tactics, you learn how to move around maps, you learn how to control resources.

[875] Controlling resources is giant.

[876] Like that thing that guy just picked up, that's like 175 health and you want to get all the armor that you possibly can.

[877] Then you also want to be like clever about weapons choices because you're always engaging at different distances and different kinds of fights.

[878] You're like sometimes you're stuck.

[879] in like a corridor and sometimes you know you're you're in an area where they can't shoot you but you can shoot them if you use the right weapon man you need to bring back to old school Atari that one red button that ran jump oh that one red button did everything on the joystick no you never killed a guy with a rail gun once you kill a guy with a rail gun you'll understand I don't want to kill a guy with a real person I mean he's laughing why you do it when I shoot Jamie, if he jumps at me and I shoot him in midair with a rail gun and you both laugh.

[880] Like, he shot me in the face the other day with a rocket.

[881] And I was like, oh, dude, in the mug.

[882] I was like, in the mug.

[883] Like, right in my face and I exploded.

[884] Like, my whole screen just becomes a big red splatter.

[885] I'm like, fuck.

[886] It's fun.

[887] I can't handle it, man. It's too much for me. I'm a, the older I get, I'm just a pus, man. I need a man up.

[888] I used to be so aggressive.

[889] Well, you're a big dude.

[890] You're strong.

[891] That's why nobody messes with me. Oh, so they leave you alone.

[892] so you become a pussy because of it.

[893] You know what it's like?

[894] It's like...

[895] Like, you, like, fight and all that stuff.

[896] Like, I can't even...

[897] Like, if somebody punched me in the face today, I don't know how it would react.

[898] Like, I don't know...

[899] I used to be a bouncer at clubs.

[900] I played college football.

[901] Like, I was a tough dude.

[902] Now...

[903] You're falling apart.

[904] Dude.

[905] Gotta get you to a gym.

[906] No, no, no. I'm in shape.

[907] But I mean, like a fight gym.

[908] No, no. Why?

[909] No. Learn how to fight a little bit.

[910] No. Not to fight people.

[911] Why do you...

[912] So you don't worry about it.

[913] I never worry about it Okay, well then don't worry about it Because I'm at home by 830 Sleeping by night You do stand up I saw you at the improv the other night I know nobody's gonna jump on state I'm talking about family You never know man You never know people are crazy Has anyone Dude jumped up on the WWF And attacked Who did he attack?

[914] He attacked Brett Hart He attacked Brett Hart During his speech That's crazy Brat Hart has got to be like How old does you know 61 and he's a stroke survivor So fucked up And the guy tackled him Jesus Christ But Joe seriously You think anybody's going to jump on stage when you're on?

[915] Some dude could easily.

[916] Dude, you would fucking kill him.

[917] No, there's a lot of people that can kill me. Don't get confused.

[918] I know a lot of them.

[919] Did I have them in here all the time?

[920] Yeah, I get that.

[921] But, like, I just don't see me doing stand -up talking about family of love and a dude goes, I hate family and love.

[922] I'm going to jump up there.

[923] No, it's not rational.

[924] No, you're right.

[925] I mean, a rational person wouldn't do that, but you're not worried about rational people anyway.

[926] Okay, so say I started to go to a fight job.

[927] Like, where would I start at?

[928] Like, what would I do?

[929] I would say you should try Jiu -Jitsu, because it's fun.

[930] It's a really good exercise, and you'll learn some stuff.

[931] Okay.

[932] You learn how to do it.

[933] It's a technique -based art. Whereas, like, say if you, like, there's guys that I will do Jiu -Jitsu sparring, we call rolling.

[934] Okay.

[935] There's guys that I will roll with that are weaker than me, smaller than me, and tap me every time I roll with them.

[936] And I'm a black belt.

[937] Okay.

[938] Like, that's reality.

[939] Like, if there's guys out there that 150 pounds.

[940] that I can roll with that I know will tap me virtually every time we roll because their technique is sharper.

[941] They train more often than I am.

[942] They're more focused.

[943] They're more in the groove.

[944] But I also heard you say like one of your podcasts, you've got to watch out who you train with because they might just try to hurt you.

[945] That's true.

[946] I need, I need.

[947] You got to go to a good school with good ethics.

[948] Because a good school with good ethics, they get rid of those guys.

[949] Do you know one in Studio City?

[950] I'll do it.

[951] Sure.

[952] I'll get you a spot.

[953] Yeah.

[954] I'll find a spot.

[955] I'll do it.

[956] I want to learn.

[957] There's a good spot just a little further than that in Tarzana.

[958] Okay.

[959] Machado's where I got my black belt.

[960] That's John Jacques Machado.

[961] I train there sometimes.

[962] And he used to have a place in Malibu, but it closed down because of the fires.

[963] But they have an outstanding gym.

[964] It's like one of the best in the country.

[965] And it's in that area.

[966] Like as far as teaching, top notch.

[967] But there's a lot of really good jujitsu schools now.

[968] It's not like when I started in 96, it was hard to find a good gym.

[969] There was only like five of them in all of California.

[970] Right?

[971] Because it was just starting out.

[972] It was like 93 is when jiu -jitsu sort of emerged in the public consciousness because of the UFC.

[973] And then the gym started like popping up.

[974] Poping up.

[975] But I was really lucky.

[976] There was like Hicks and Gracies, which is where I took my first class.

[977] And then Carlson Gracies.

[978] I thought they were like the same and the other one was closer.

[979] So I just switched to Carlson's.

[980] I didn't know shit.

[981] You know, it was a white belt.

[982] But and then there was Machadoes and then like a couple other places.

[983] How long does it take you to get to a black belt?

[984] Like for you?

[985] Some guy, it took me a long time.

[986] I was a brown belt for eight years, but it was just because I wasn't training as much as I should have.

[987] Like, they, you don't, they don't give them away.

[988] Like, you have to be a real black belt.

[989] But who decides?

[990] What is?

[991] Somebody just watches you?

[992] And you do.

[993] People know.

[994] Okay.

[995] Everyone knows.

[996] It's like, like, you know when a guy is fucking killing?

[997] Like, like, let's take like Theo Vaughn, for example.

[998] Like, Theo.

[999] I love him.

[1000] He hit a groove some time ago, whether it's two years ago or whatever it was.

[1001] And I remember being in the back of the store and I was like, dude, this motherfuckers on fire yeah he started hitting that groove that where where you go and sit down you want to watch his set yeah you know and i think when that happens in jiu jitsu it's the same kind of thing guys start talking about like dude mike has been tapping everybody uh -huh he's just his his jihitsu is so sharp and you're like man i'm gonna watch him roll and then you watch him all you're like dude that pass that guard pass and guys start asking like wait how often are you training and i'm going five days a week now really yeah and i'm taking two privates fuck and then you know like This guy is on the quest.

[1002] And you'll see a guy go from white belt to black belt in three years, but they have to be super exceptional, like really unusual athletes, unusual mindset, unusual discipline.

[1003] It can happen.

[1004] Most of the time, like a garden variety estimate is like 10 years is realistic.

[1005] Okay.

[1006] From white belt to black belt for a regular person.

[1007] If you really train hard and you really dedicate yourself.

[1008] But freaks can get there quicker.

[1009] Like BJ Penn, he won the Mondials, which is the world.

[1010] World Championships after three years of training.

[1011] Three years of training, he was a black belt, won't the world championships.

[1012] I won't be doing that.

[1013] BJ's a special guy, though.

[1014] He's also got legs that are like arms.

[1015] He has leg dexterity like no one on the planet.

[1016] Yeah, I got chicken legs.

[1017] That's actually good.

[1018] Is it really?

[1019] Yeah.

[1020] You could cinch up triangles on people with chicken legs.

[1021] Yeah, for real.

[1022] I'm just cinching up people everywhere there.

[1023] If you just think about it in terms of leverage, guys with longer limbs like a Hodger Gracie is a perfect example.

[1024] He's a really tall, long guy.

[1025] It's one of the best jiu -jitsu players ever.

[1026] They can do things with those limbs that a shorter person can't do in terms of leverage from joints and stuff like this.

[1027] There's like there's the advantages to every frame.

[1028] Like there's a guy like Husamar Palhara is a famous like tank of a guy.

[1029] He's like 5 -7, 200 plus pounds and just rips guys' legs apart.

[1030] And he uses this like short style to dive in on people's legs and get them in heel hooks and knee bars and rip their legs apart.

[1031] He's terrifying.

[1032] And that style heavily favors being built like a little tank.

[1033] Whereas like that long like you are, you're a tall, long guy, you would have like good darts chokes, good rear nakeds, good arm bars, good triangles.

[1034] You would have length and leverage with that length, especially with triangles.

[1035] Because long -legged guys, they can, like sometimes a guy like me with short legs, Like, I'll get my legs crossed and I have to adjust a lot to be able to cinch up by triangle, whereas you might be able to just close it up right there.

[1036] So you'll have, like, more opportunities for triangles because of the length of your limbs.

[1037] Have you, would you have ever been at a point in your, in your career when you were doing Jigis?

[1038] Where you, how would you have been in the UFC?

[1039] Like, at your prime, like.

[1040] I have no idea.

[1041] I have no idea.

[1042] I would have had to have gotten way better.

[1043] Like, when I was fighting, I was just.

[1044] kickboxing yeah I was kickboxing and first of it first it was Taekwondo and then went to kickboxing and by the time the UFC came around like on the ground I was useless okay was a straight white belt I would get ripped apart every day I would go to the gym and if I if I tapped anybody like if it was like a week went by and I tapped one guy but like woo I fucking tapped a guy yeah you know I wasn't that many people doing it you know so I was going with like there was a couple of white belts maybe and then there was like blue belts and purple belts and Brown belts, and those guys would always tap me. Gotcha.

[1045] And so that's just how it went for a long time.

[1046] When you're, you know, unless you're some kind of freak, like some big -ass football player or some, like, super athlete, you're probably not going to be able to hold these guys off.

[1047] They're going to choke you.

[1048] Now, was it true you were going to fight Wesley Snipes?

[1049] That was way later, though.

[1050] Way later.

[1051] That was a brown belt by then, and I'd been doing a lot of training.

[1052] Would you have beaten him?

[1053] I don't know, because we never did it.

[1054] He never did it.

[1055] He's a real martial artist.

[1056] He's a real martial artist.

[1057] But he doesn't know jujitsu.

[1058] The thing is...

[1059] But that must have been exciting, though, for you to try.

[1060] Yeah.

[1061] Because I was thinking, like, I knew that he was a real legitimate martial artist.

[1062] Like, he throws kicks and punches, and it looks really good.

[1063] Like, he really does know his shit.

[1064] But I also know he never fought.

[1065] And there's a big difference between throwing kicks.

[1066] And I haven't fought in a long time, but I probably fought 100 times.

[1067] Yeah.

[1068] So, like, I've been, I've felt that nerves.

[1069] I know what that's like.

[1070] It'll be crazy as fuck to do it again.

[1071] And that's what I was thinking.

[1072] I mean, it'll probably scare the shit out of me. But I think I know what to do.

[1073] Like, I think I know how to, like, get in there and start fainting, start giving some movement and see how he reacts.

[1074] And then the worst case scenario is like, I'm like, in a scramble, I'm going to strangle this guy.

[1075] Like, if this comes to a scramble.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] Because the average person really doesn't know how helpless they are until a jujitsu black belt grabs a hold of you.

[1078] And then you just go, oh, shit.

[1079] Like, I'm helpless.

[1080] because in a fight, you really think like you might be able to punch a guy.

[1081] Like, maybe if he's front of me and he's swinging at me and I'm swinging at him, maybe I hit him first.

[1082] You really think that.

[1083] But there's no swinging...

[1084] If it's a jujitsu fight, if you guys get into some sort of a tussle and that guy grabs you and trips you and boom, and he's on the ground with his hand on your jacket and a knee on your chest, you're a dead man. You're a dead man. Because there's no lucky shots.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] A jiu -jitsu black battle is just going to close the distance like that evil fucking crab and he's just going to squeeze your fucking neck and there's no way you're going to avoid it and there's no way you're going to survive it.

[1087] You're just not going to.

[1088] That's why you don't fight people.

[1089] You can't fight people but you can't fight.

[1090] You can't fight random people on the streets.

[1091] Like when you're young, that was the thing you could go to bars.

[1092] I had some friends that liked to throw down when I was younger and I wouldn't do it.

[1093] I was watching.

[1094] But now it's kind of like you got to watch everybody because you don't know what kind of training they're doing.

[1095] Like, everybody's so educated on it.

[1096] And it's so big right now.

[1097] Well, some guy fought off a guy in the subway that was attacking with a knife with some moves that he learned watching the UFC.

[1098] He never even trained before.

[1099] He just knew what to do.

[1100] Yeah.

[1101] He, like, knew what to do because he'd seen guys, like, get the mount and drop ground and pound.

[1102] He, like, knew what to do based on watching it.

[1103] Yeah.

[1104] I think it's good, like, when you mentioned it, I think it's good just to learn.

[1105] So you would feel better about yourself in case danger comes.

[1106] Yeah, man. You want to be the person that gets to make the decision.

[1107] Here's the thing, right?

[1108] If you don't know how to fight, and there's some drunk asshole who doesn't know how to fight either, but he might come over and punch you in the face and sucker punch you and he could hurt you or knock you out in front of your woman, you want to be the one who gets to decide.

[1109] Yeah.

[1110] If I'm in a situation in some guy and he's like reasonably close to my size and he's being an asshole and he's drunk and he gets aggressive with me, I can decide what to do with him.

[1111] Like I can, it gets, I don't want to hurt anybody, but I'm not going to live.

[1112] let you hurt me and you get to decide like you don't want like you've we've all seen these 7 -11 fucking parking lot fights on youtube or some asshole and both of them don't know how to fight but one guy might fuck that guy up he might kick him in the face while he's down you don't want to be that guy yeah like you don't want to be in that situation and definitely walk away whenever you can always we are so opposite because i've only been in one fight in my life it was in ninth grade playing basketball and it was against a dude named matama Like I'll never His name is Matama Drake And I threw one punch And I hit him right in the face And he looks at me and goes What's up?

[1113] And I was like No No Oh no I was like Oh no We're good Oh my god Did you let you get away with it?

[1114] Oh yeah We started playing bass Thank God Wow that's it That was it Like literally I hit him As hard as I could I could take a shot Oh and he was just like What's up?

[1115] I was like nothing Nothing is up.

[1116] So that's the...

[1117] And we didn't hit you back?

[1118] No?

[1119] Wow.

[1120] No, because I, then I started, you know, oh, okay, it's your ball.

[1121] That's a confident man, though, to not try to get you back.

[1122] I mean, and then I was, there was a club in Houston named Power Tools that I used to...

[1123] Is that a gay bar?

[1124] No. It was...

[1125] Should be.

[1126] It sounds like one.

[1127] Sounds like a hardcore gay bar.

[1128] In Houston, the gay bar was called Riches at the time.

[1129] But I worked at Power Tools, and I was a bouncer.

[1130] So that's when I was like 250 pounds.

[1131] You know.

[1132] You were a lot bigger when I met you.

[1133] Oh, yeah, because I played college football for Arkansas, so I played outside linebacker.

[1134] So I was...

[1135] So did you just stop lifting weights, or do you still, like, a little bit?

[1136] No, I'm all cardio now because, you know, like trainers, any trainer I work with, since I got a big frame, they're like, put some side.

[1137] No, I want to stay lean, you know, but...

[1138] It's good for old age, too, man. You don't want to back problems.

[1139] Like, I'm 44 years old now.

[1140] Yeah.

[1141] Isn't I crazy, dude?

[1142] Time flies.

[1143] I'm 51.

[1144] See?

[1145] 55 -0.

[1146] Dude, it's so scary when you read stories about people just dropping dead, like around your age.

[1147] Luke Perry.

[1148] That's what I'm saying, man. Basically my age.

[1149] Well, they said what is the danger zone is like 45 to 55 with heart failure.

[1150] It's like crazy.

[1151] Oh, man. Dude, I beat my body up.

[1152] I'm running that bitch until the fucking wheels fall off.

[1153] I'm always getting stem cell shots.

[1154] I'm out fucking running hills and lifting weight.

[1155] I still live heavy weights.

[1156] I'm retarded.

[1157] Yeah.

[1158] I shouldn't say that word.

[1159] I said it again Trying to get rid of that word Out of my vocabulary It just comes out sometimes Why are you still lifting weights Like heavy like that?

[1160] Like what does it do for you?

[1161] Well, it does a bunch of things First of all if you want to train Jiu -Jitsu It's very good to be strong It makes a big difference First of all for defense Especially for defense You know like For offense for sure too But really you want to be able to defend You know like defending You have to be strong But also you just like being bigger It helps Yeah I like it Yeah I like being able to pick up things I like the physical ability of being strong.

[1162] I like being in shape too.

[1163] I like being able to run for long distances.

[1164] I like knowing that I can go rounds on the bag.

[1165] Like I'll do five hard rounds on the bag.

[1166] So you can run.

[1167] My knees are messed up.

[1168] I can't like get on a treadmill and run.

[1169] I can do like, I've done the stem and the knee and it's helped out a lot.

[1170] But I'm still that dude that's on, I'm like on the elliptical.

[1171] I'm super fortunate about my knee injuries.

[1172] I've had knee injuries, but my meniscus, I only had one meniscus scope on my left knee and it wasn't terrible.

[1173] Like I was back to full 100 % function.

[1174] after that and my right knee I didn't I have a little baby tear that I got some stem cell shot into but I had both of them reconstructed their ACLs were replaced but um no problems they work they work great yeah see I just need to I listen to you and it's like you always taking something and I'm like oh I got to find out what that is and now I just want to get in better shape I'm in shape but I it's when you get older it's just like tough it is just it just starts to write it down like you have to do it like do you do you do you Keep a daily schedule of shit you have to do?

[1175] No. I just wake up and go.

[1176] I do have, I wake up, I work out, like a cardio workout.

[1177] And then I do infrared sauna, which has changed my life.

[1178] Change your life, right?

[1179] Every morning I infrared sauna for now.

[1180] It's the best.

[1181] You sweat all that shit out.

[1182] You feel great.

[1183] Your skin glistens.

[1184] Like, I think it's actually, like, change the game for me. I have more energy now.

[1185] Everything's better.

[1186] It's so good for your body.

[1187] They did a study that showed a 40 % decrease.

[1188] in mortality amongst all causes, heart attack, stroke, cancer, 40 % decrease with people that were doing the sauna four times a week.

[1189] Well, I will tell you this, because the whole thing is everybody wants to feel young.

[1190] And when you were young, the thing you did most was sweat.

[1191] And I feel like when I sweat, it just, it feels, I don't know, I just feel good sweating because it reminds me when I played sports, it reminds me, even though I'm not doing on the, you know, I sweat a little on the treadmill, but when I do that infrared sign, it makes me feel great and young.

[1192] I think there's a bunch of shit going on, but there's that for sure.

[1193] Like, it's good to feel good.

[1194] Like, you're sweating.

[1195] But there's heat shock proteins.

[1196] Your body actually produces anti -inflammatory properties.

[1197] It's really good for you.

[1198] It's really good for joint aches and all kinds of like this.

[1199] I used to think of the sauna as being nonsense.

[1200] Like, what do you fucking laying in a sauna for?

[1201] Like, what are you doing there?

[1202] Just getting hot.

[1203] Yeah.

[1204] Just go workout, pussy.

[1205] But what kind of, what kind of sauna do you do, though?

[1206] I do a regular sauna.

[1207] Okay.

[1208] See.

[1209] Super hot regular sauna.

[1210] I'm telling you, you need to try the infrared.

[1211] Yeah, you can.

[1212] Yeah, I mean, but look, it's all just about getting your body hot.

[1213] Like, it's good to try to infrared, I'm sure.

[1214] I'm sure it works great.

[1215] But this study, the 40 % decreased mortality, that was with a regular sauna.

[1216] Okay.

[1217] Yeah.

[1218] Yeah, that's why I got a regular sauna because Dr. Ronda Patrick told me that the studies that have been done have all been done with a regular sauna.

[1219] And she said there might be some benefit for infrared sauna, but I don't know what's published.

[1220] See if there's a benefit.

[1221] See if this thing could say what's the benefit to infrared sauna.

[1222] I probably cooking my organs.

[1223] I don't even know it.

[1224] No, I don't think so, man. I think it's great for you.

[1225] I just feel amazing after it.

[1226] That's supposedly what happens, right?

[1227] It gets deeper in your tissue or something like.

[1228] Yeah, it's supposed to go deeper.

[1229] Yeah.

[1230] I remember us texting back and forth.

[1231] I was like, you got it.

[1232] Like, if you do the infrared sauna for like a week, it's a game changer.

[1233] Regular sauna is too.

[1234] So I don't know.

[1235] I would like you to try regular sauna too.

[1236] How hot does the infrared get?

[1237] Like 140?

[1238] It's not heating the air, though, too.

[1239] It's a difference.

[1240] Yeah, it's not, it doesn't heat the air.

[1241] Like, you walk in and it feels, it doesn't feel like it's that.

[1242] That's just weird.

[1243] That's a microwave shit.

[1244] I'm not into that, man. That's like hot pockets.

[1245] He ain't turning me into a hot pocket gym dab again.

[1246] That's what I'm saying.

[1247] I'm probably burning up all my organs right now, but I don't know.

[1248] I love it.

[1249] I like going in and feeling that super heat.

[1250] You go in there and you're like, oh.

[1251] It feels so good.

[1252] I love it.

[1253] So good for you.

[1254] Do you fuck with cold?

[1255] Do you ever do like cry or anything like that?

[1256] I tried that once.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] And it was right after the infrared's on it.

[1259] You're like try the cold.

[1260] It's just, I don't know, man. It wasn't my thing.

[1261] What do you mean?

[1262] It wasn't my thing.

[1263] thing I didn't like how so like it was fucking freezing that's what it's cold no I don't want to I don't do it I don't know no I love heat but the cold thing is like no I'm good I'm good on that I understand you know it's you love it I love it I do it too I love both of them do you go back to back that's what they say you should do have not gone back to back but I've gone and done both of them in a day yeah I like I like hot yoga too I like hot yoga and then doing the cryo which they say you shouldn't do because it'll give you a heart attack oh doing it hot to cold I'm like says who pussy yeah who's doing a man who's getting a goddamn heart attack step up who's getting a heart attack not us not us not us really happening I used to do hot yoga I need to get back into I just got to get flexible man it's just that's the tough thing about getting old and you know flexibility flexibility because what they say most most older people die on the toilet because they can't get up you know they have some problem and they can't get up from wherever they are is that real yeah oh yeah Oh yeah That's a crazy way to go Yeah Just on the toilet You can you imagine Like Elvis Like as you're dying You'd be like Damn me and Elvis I just don't want to die Stupid Right You know some stupid Like you'll be reading In New York City Some guys just walking And something falls on them You know from Or a person How about that So a suicidal person Lanz out of your fucking head I was at Adidas In the flagship In New York Adidas In like five minutes Before I got there You know A person just jumped off and killed themselves right outside of the store, like out of residence.

[1264] Jesus.

[1265] Yeah.

[1266] That's one of the craziest ways to go.

[1267] Like, the feeling of regret you must have when you feel the air under your feet and you're falling.

[1268] And you can't do nothing.

[1269] And that's a wrap, dude.

[1270] You made the decision.

[1271] You pulled the trigger.

[1272] Here it comes.

[1273] The Great Beyond.

[1274] Bang.

[1275] What goes through your mind when you're going down like that?

[1276] Like, and it's your choice.

[1277] You know what I mean?

[1278] You probably filled with unbelievable terror.

[1279] Unbelievable terror.

[1280] Even though it's your choice.

[1281] There have been people that have survived jumps into the ocean.

[1282] They've jumped off like the Golden Gate Bridge and made it.

[1283] All the time.

[1284] I mean, it's like one of the number one suicide spots in the U .S. Yeah, but some of them make it.

[1285] They survive.

[1286] That would suck.

[1287] Yeah.

[1288] Like if you really wanted to die and you didn't die.

[1289] Maybe not.

[1290] Maybe you got a new lease on life.

[1291] Like maybe you hit the water and you're like, what I'm alive?

[1292] What the fuck?

[1293] I never could get myself to that place.

[1294] Like, I like my life too much right now.

[1295] Yeah, well, you're happy, and that's an awesome thing.

[1296] But, you know, we're talking about spectrums.

[1297] Yeah.

[1298] There's clearly a spectrum of that.

[1299] Yeah.

[1300] You know, and some people, I think, have it horrifically.

[1301] They just have whatever, whatever reason, chemical imbalance, life experiences that are awful, PTSD, whatever the formula is.

[1302] They have it to the point where it's almost unbearable every day.

[1303] 100%.

[1304] 100%.

[1305] Like my dad, you know, he served our country in the army, and it didn't seem to affect him at all.

[1306] But, you know, he has friends that it's affected.

[1307] I have friends that have served.

[1308] They're affected by it.

[1309] And what was that movie?

[1310] It was about Benghazi.

[1311] I forgot.

[1312] John Krasinski did it, but I had to interview the real guys that pulled off, got the people out of Benghazi.

[1313] And the normal world is so boring to him.

[1314] Like literally they got excited when they talked about, you know how it feels to have bullets whizzing by your head, you know, and you shooting at people.

[1315] Like literally the real world is so, and that's why they keep going back because that's the only way they can get that adrenaline rush, which is, you know, to me, I'm like, that's crazy.

[1316] But to them, that's where they get their high.

[1317] And that's, that's life to them.

[1318] That's how they're living.

[1319] And I interviewed the three or four soldiers that went out there and saved these people.

[1320] And you saw that look in their eye, you know what I mean?

[1321] it was like they would go back now if they could and they hated hearing how one of their own lost their lives out there you know where they were like I could have done something about that and that's what they talked about is like why we always want to go back is every time we hear one of our one of our fallen soldiers they they fell we could have saved them and two of them were snipers and the other two were on the ground and they were like man it's just it's just real life is is very tame for us you know it's almost a I'm putting what now I'm paraphrate but I would say they think it's a bore just living our normal lives and unless they're fighting for our country and saving people's lives like everything else is just boring yeah I mean you talk about literally life being turned up to 10 there's nothing nothing else that compares it on the planet other than being a police officer yeah can you in a shootout or or just just imagine like a police officer walking up to a car that's freaky enough you don't know what's inside that that's like you're playing roulette yep you don't know what's inside that car yeah you know like look there are some bad police out there but as just put yourself in that spot where you're a cop getting out your car walking to a car with tinted windows yep knocking on the window you don't know what you're going to you don't know if it's a barrel with shotgun you don't know You have no idea.

[1322] You have no idea.

[1323] And people have to realize that tension they carry with them all day.

[1324] They might have 20 of those interactions.

[1325] Absolutely.

[1326] All day.

[1327] And a couple could have been really bad for them.

[1328] And if you have, you give them any bullshit or don't appreciate or respect that, they're immediately going to go, oh, okay.

[1329] Yeah.

[1330] You fucking asshole.

[1331] And you're the enemy now.

[1332] And it's horrible.

[1333] It's horrible that we give a person the kind of power that police officers have when they abuse it.

[1334] But it's also horrible that we create.

[1335] this relationship between fellow citizens, a cop is just a citizen, just one of us, where we are the enemy if we're not following the book, especially when the book is stupid, like it's pot laws or something dumb like that.

[1336] Yeah.

[1337] Or you're catching guys getting jerked off.

[1338] Like, Jesus Christ.

[1339] You know, I've been pulled over a couple times.

[1340] And I got to say, you know, most of them, like my dad, you know, they say a black thing to do when you have a black father.

[1341] They tell you very early on.

[1342] When a cop pulls you over, hands out, let them see it.

[1343] You know, it's taught to us when we're born and raised, especially where I grew up.

[1344] So, you know, I even been profiled.

[1345] And I'm, you know, like, and I'm half black.

[1346] You know, you don't know what I really am, a lot of people, but I've been profiled.

[1347] So I know when I see, when I hear the stories and I've been in cars with my friends that are dark skin black, and they've been pulled over.

[1348] And it's a thing where you're upset because you feel like you're being profiled.

[1349] But man, once that cop walks over, you need to show all due respect because they, They control that game now.

[1350] It's 100 % their game.

[1351] Once they pull up to your window, you're in their card.

[1352] You also should think that they are entirely necessary for a civilized society.

[1353] 100%.

[1354] And if you want to be able to call the police, if some shit is going down, you should appreciate them when they're there.

[1355] And, you know, this does not discount all the bad cops.

[1356] Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[1357] It does not discount all the things that we've all seen.

[1358] The shootings are unjustified.

[1359] Punchings are unjustified.

[1360] This is what we have to keep, though, perspective, because.

[1361] there's so many interactions.

[1362] There's so many cops out there that are dealing with PTSD all day long because for a decade or two decades of their life, they have been dealing with crime and violence all day long every day.

[1363] And they dress like the enemy.

[1364] They're not just a cop.

[1365] They're a cop who has to wear a cop outfit.

[1366] So everywhere you go, like when you're playing Quake and you're playing team matches.

[1367] Oh, here he goes, Quay.

[1368] The dude has a special flag over his head.

[1369] You know that's a target.

[1370] I mean, if you see cops, like bad guys see cops as the enemy.

[1371] You're being paid to be the enemy, even if you've never had an interaction.

[1372] If you're a bad guy and that's a cop, that's the enemy.

[1373] And that is a crazy position to ask people to be in.

[1374] But even for people that don't have interactions with cops a lot, they still consider it the enemy.

[1375] Sure.

[1376] Because if they pull you over for speeding, like it's gone through my mind.

[1377] It's like nobody's on the road right now.

[1378] Why are you pulling me over for speeding?

[1379] Like, I'm not hurting anybody.

[1380] It's just a waste of time.

[1381] Well, they're trying to write a ticket because they have to write a certain amount of tickets.

[1382] And that's when I think it goes over the top where it's like, come on now.

[1383] I was talking to a cop about that.

[1384] I said, okay, now let me ask you this.

[1385] What if everybody agreed to never speed?

[1386] Like we made up like a six -month agreement in this country where we would never speed.

[1387] And no one speeded in.

[1388] There was no more traffic violations in terms of speeding tickets.

[1389] What the fuck would happen?

[1390] And he was like people would just get laid off left and right.

[1391] They would just cut.

[1392] Really?

[1393] Yeah, they were like, I think they would just slash the police department.

[1394] They put quotas on you because you're a glorified revenue collector.

[1395] I mean, that's what those guys are doing.

[1396] Don't you think that's a problem, though?

[1397] Like when you're pulling people over and I think that it all, look, the problems with the police and people start from the court.

[1398] And that's a major problem.

[1399] If you have to pull over people, even if you're a cop and go, they're not really doing anything bad, but I have to meet my quota of tickets, that starts from a very negative place.

[1400] Terrible.

[1401] Terrible place.

[1402] Terrible place.

[1403] Terrible place and terrible place for both parties.

[1404] Terrible place for the cop to bury his head in the sand and realize he's writing someone to take it for no reason.

[1405] You know, like you catch someone, the speed limit 65, they're going 69, you pull them over.

[1406] Like, get the fuck out of you, man. Yeah.

[1407] You can't even pay attention.

[1408] Like, there's no way unless I'm not looking at the road.

[1409] Like, unless I have cruise control or I'm not looking at the road.

[1410] I might get to 69.

[1411] I might back up to 65 again.

[1412] Even if I'm trying to go to the speed limit.

[1413] But I know people that have been pulled over four miles over.

[1414] 100%.

[1415] But as a driver of that car going four miles over, you're pissed.

[1416] Yeah.

[1417] Like automatically.

[1418] Yeah.

[1419] You just got jacked.

[1420] He's not serving or protecting.

[1421] And we all know he's writing a ticket just to write a ticket.

[1422] Yeah.

[1423] It's probably the 27th or 28th of the month.

[1424] Yep.

[1425] And they got to meet their quota.

[1426] And that's where they drive into Vegas is the worst.

[1427] They set up traps.

[1428] And especially close to the end of the month, you know if you're driving to Vegas, go to speed limit.

[1429] for waiting for you.

[1430] I got pulled over by a plane.

[1431] Have you seen this going to Vegas?

[1432] They have planes that now radar you.

[1433] They don't even, and then they send out cop cars to pull you over.

[1434] So the plane radars you and then a cop car pulls you over there?

[1435] Yes.

[1436] Oh my God.

[1437] Yeah.

[1438] And that was the last time we went to Vegas.

[1439] I went with my wife and son and we got pulled like a cop car came out of nowhere.

[1440] And my wife, here's the difference.

[1441] You know, this shows that my wife is white from Wyoming.

[1442] Right.

[1443] And this is the big difference.

[1444] That's real white.

[1445] That's white white.

[1446] That's like Casper the Friendly Ghost White.

[1447] That's like cowboy white.

[1448] Right?

[1449] Wyoming.

[1450] Translucent.

[1451] Cowboys.

[1452] Right?

[1453] You're only cowboys up there.

[1454] Wyoming Cowboys, yeah.

[1455] Did your wife grow up on a ranch?

[1456] No, no, no, no. I think they have cities?

[1457] Yeah, she grew up in Gillette.

[1458] Gillette, Wyoming.

[1459] What the fuck is that?

[1460] Gillette Wyoming.

[1461] How many people there?

[1462] 80?

[1463] I think 3 ,000?

[1464] I think 3 ,000.

[1465] No, seriously.

[1466] They're like the Brady Bunch.

[1467] I'm married into the Brady Bunch.

[1468] bunch.

[1469] Like, seriously, they're a real life.

[1470] It's like, good morning, Michael.

[1471] How are you?

[1472] Like, they are those people.

[1473] That's kind of cool.

[1474] No, it's great.

[1475] So a cop pulls us over for this Vegas trip.

[1476] And this is the difference in cultures we have.

[1477] And this is why I try to tell my wife.

[1478] When the cop came over, his name, let's say, Officer Andrew, he comes over, I'm very polite.

[1479] I said, yes, sir, you got it.

[1480] No problem.

[1481] I was speeding.

[1482] No problem.

[1483] My wife.

[1484] And the cop goes, we pulled you over by a plane.

[1485] So he gives me a ticket.

[1486] I'm like, hey, officer, have a great day.

[1487] He's like, you too, sir.

[1488] My wife is in the backseat with my son rolls down the window when he's walking away and goes, excuse me, uh, how do you know it was this black SUV?

[1489] I see lots of black SUVs passing us.

[1490] And it's from a plane.

[1491] Are you serious?

[1492] And I'm like, I'm about to die.

[1493] The cop turns back around, like comes to my side of the window and says, excuse me, ma 'am.

[1494] And, but just a privilege to be able to talk to a cop like that, because she has no idea.

[1495] She He has no idea.

[1496] That's the real white privilege.

[1497] That's the real white.

[1498] And I'm like, babe.

[1499] And I'm like telling the cop, tell me about it.

[1500] I'm telling the cop, I'm saying, hey, baby, it's okay.

[1501] I was speeding.

[1502] Do you talk about this on stage?

[1503] No. You fucking should.

[1504] I know.

[1505] Dude, that's hilarious.

[1506] And I'm like, oh my God.

[1507] You should for sure talk about this on stage.

[1508] It's just, it scared me. Because I was scared because she's, the cop comes back around.

[1509] Write that down right now.

[1510] Take that pad.

[1511] Write that down.

[1512] Right it down.

[1513] You must talk about this on stage.

[1514] White wife, cop.

[1515] Wyoming, all that shit.

[1516] White wife, cop, Plain, privilege.

[1517] Plain, radar, black SUV.

[1518] Yes, plain.

[1519] Wyoming, cowboy, white people.

[1520] Okay.

[1521] Horses.

[1522] Mustang, ranch.

[1523] Dude.

[1524] Shoe horns.

[1525] Horseshoe.

[1526] He comes back over and he's trying to explain to my wife, like, about a plane.

[1527] And she's given this cop attitude.

[1528] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1529] Oh, no. And when we drive off, I go.

[1530] baby you cannot do that like you almost killed me she was like stop being ridiculous i'm like no no you really no you really no you really could have got me killed you never know you never know wrong guy wrong place wrong time wrong history wrong background wrong state of mind that he's in what if he didn't like a black dude married to a white woman for sure yeah like and she didn't get that but now she gets that because we have a son you know what i mean so i think once you have a multi ethnic son now she's like oh i'm all about Moana.

[1531] I'm all about she doesn't like she's all about the ethnic cartoons and not the white wasn't.

[1532] She's trying.

[1533] She's trying.

[1534] She's got a good mindset.

[1535] Yeah, she's trying and her family's trying.

[1536] It sucks that anybody has to ever worry about getting accidentally shot by a cop.

[1537] And the problem I think is not going to go away until the problem of crime goes away.

[1538] And that's not going to happen either.

[1539] So what do we do to make life safer for everybody?

[1540] That's a real good question.

[1541] Well, I think awareness for sure, like people being aware of all these videos.

[1542] That's one thing that I think that Black Lives Matter did that people don't want to accept, but it's really important is it became a national thought.

[1543] Yes.

[1544] It's not just another story in the news.

[1545] It's a national thought.

[1546] Like, this is a movement to try to eradicate this.

[1547] And all the times where you've seen guys plant guns on people after they've shot them, like all the crazy videos.

[1548] Yeah, you see videos of black people with no guns getting shot.

[1549] And then here's the problem.

[1550] They go to court and then the cops are innocent.

[1551] Did you see the one where the guy throws the gun down on the ground?

[1552] Was it a taser?

[1553] What did he throw down on the ground?

[1554] There was like he shot him and then as he's coming up to the body, he dropped something on the ground.

[1555] When I was growing up, at least I don't know when it changed, but cops were supposed to shoot not to kill you but to handicap you.

[1556] Like shoot you in the legs, shoot you in the arms.

[1557] These guys are not that good a shot.

[1558] There's a lot of cops that are just not good at shooting guns.

[1559] I mean, there's a lot that are military trained, that are very professional and very serious who are.

[1560] But it's like, look, I watched a video the other day of a guy getting in an altercation.

[1561] It's an off -duty cop.

[1562] Got into an altercation with this guy, and he tried to pull his gun out.

[1563] The guy grabbed him, grabbed his wrist.

[1564] Guy did not know how to fight at all and probably only knew how to, like, shoot people.

[1565] Yeah.

[1566] He gets taken down.

[1567] The guy obviously knew Jiu -Jitsu, took him down, mounted him, took the gun from him, threw the gun away, and beat the fuck out of him.

[1568] from the mount pounding on the guy turns his back he gets his back he's beating the shit out of him it's horrific because this cop thought he was safe and pulled his gun but this is like one example of like just because someone's a cop doesn't mean they're well trained prepared cop there are those out there for sure but there are also some slabs like i've seen some guys that are there a cop i'm like bro you can't run a block how the fuck are you a cop yeah yeah you know like this is a ridiculous position for you to put yourself in and anybody else you're trying to pretend You're handicapped by gluttony.

[1569] Yeah.

[1570] But at the same time, we do need them.

[1571] We do need the cops.

[1572] And we need them to be more respected and appreciated.

[1573] They're not very respected and appreciated by a lot of people.

[1574] I think that's a huge misservice.

[1575] What I hate about this conversation, whatever side they're on with the cops, they're going to pull whatever they want because we've talked negative.

[1576] Well, not negative.

[1577] We've said some things about it.

[1578] And I hate how we're in such a polar place where, oh, you're either form or against it.

[1579] And that's like with everything.

[1580] And that's what I hate.

[1581] You can't have a conversation anymore.

[1582] Yeah.

[1583] And that's where we're at right now.

[1584] It's like you can't say anything wrong with cops because then you don't support the cops.

[1585] If you support the cops, then you'll get attacked by the other side going, oh, well, they kill innocent people.

[1586] I know.

[1587] Sure.

[1588] And someone can take a clip of anything that you've said today without further elaboration, because most of what you said, you further elaborated.

[1589] Absolutely.

[1590] They could take that one snippet and just put a little clip up somewhere.

[1591] Michael Yo said this.

[1592] Or worse yet, quote it.

[1593] This is what he said about cops.

[1594] People are like, fuck him.

[1595] I thought he was pro cop.

[1596] Well, that's the world we live in today.

[1597] Yeah.

[1598] This is the world we live in.

[1599] And that's why it's so horrible, man. Well, it is and it's not.

[1600] It is.

[1601] That part is horrible.

[1602] But it's the best time to be alive ever.

[1603] The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to understand our effect on each other.

[1604] The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to access information.

[1605] The best time for, if something is going on, you alert people that this thing, like a crime is taking place.

[1606] We could spread the news of it so quick.

[1607] We just have to, we were just not used to so much.

[1608] We're not used to so much that we have to deal with all day.

[1609] We're not designed for so much.

[1610] And it happened in 35 years.

[1611] You know, like, just think about like our parents, right?

[1612] When we were growing up, the TV was black and white and then it went color.

[1613] And that was the big thing for them.

[1614] For us, there were no cell phones or internet.

[1615] And then in our, in like the last 35 years, I don't think you'll ever see a technology boom.

[1616] Like in this last 35 years, so many advancements happen so quick.

[1617] And that's why we today can't react to them fast enough.

[1618] We don't know like now parents are doing like parents that are our age are doing the same things the kids are doing where my dad never cared about playing Atari or doing anything.

[1619] He had totally different interests where now the kids that are coming up since this boom is so fast, we're still learning new technology.

[1620] And now our kids are learning it with us.

[1621] and there's no separation.

[1622] I agree, and I think it's definitely like untreaded territory, but I disagree that we'll never see a boom in technology like we've already seen.

[1623] I think we haven't even scratched the surface.

[1624] Really?

[1625] Yeah, we haven't even scratched the surface.

[1626] But when you have, but I guess I'm saying things that change the world, like there was no internet, Joe.

[1627] There's a thing that Elon Musk is working on called NeuralLink.

[1628] And I don't know exactly how this works because he wouldn't exactly explain it.

[1629] but the concept is about increasing the bandwidth between human brain activity and information somehow or another to get information quicker to you and have you access it in a quicker manner I don't know what the fuck that means it's something you wear on your head some dude just tried it Jamie there's an article that just I just found out I'm looking at it yeah some dude just said I might or might not have tried Elon Musk's neural link like he's kind of like bound by silence but there is a real possibility that think about what here's here's how to look at it think about Wi -Fi right mm -hmm Wi -Fi's in this room we use it you can access you can shut your phone off and turn your Wi -Fi on and you'll be able to access all the information in the internet where is that coming from where is that it's in the air it's in the sky it's all around us if you can wear something that picks up on that in the same what picks up on Wi -Fi in the same way picks up on cellular signals whether it's 4G or 5G which is coming out soon, which is supposed to be unstopably powerful.

[1630] If that can feed information directly to your brain through something that you wear, just the way they do these, you know, they have these electrodes they put on your head and they send magnetic pulses to different parts of the brain helps people with traumatic brain injuries, helps people with depression.

[1631] They've been able to do this by taking these little things and they stick them to your head and they send this pulsating magnet in there.

[1632] they could already affect the brain with external stimulation.

[1633] They already know how to do that.

[1634] If they can figure out to do that in a much more sophisticated way, we are on the edge of becoming cyborgs, and it's not far away.

[1635] We're talking about within the next decade, maybe two decades, there's going to be something that changes a person and makes, if you're a person with a limited education and no phone, think about how, but think about how little access to the world's knowledge base you had.

[1636] Now, if you're a person with limited access to information and education, but you have a phone and that phone is online, you have everything.

[1637] So that changes everything.

[1638] This person now can access all the knowledge.

[1639] I mean, it's not perfect.

[1640] If you Google things, some of the things are bullshit.

[1641] Some articles are dumb.

[1642] They don't make sense.

[1643] But you have possibility of finding all the information.

[1644] Now, in the future, I think that...

[1645] That is going, that's going to be escalated.

[1646] And it's going to be escalated exponentially.

[1647] There's going to be some new leaps in technology that happen that guys like you and I that don't work in the field, we're not, we're going to see it coming.

[1648] These people are working on these things right now.

[1649] And they're competing with people in China and Russia and all over the world that are also working on these technologies.

[1650] And they're going to get through.

[1651] And they're going to make something.

[1652] And that's something is going to change reality as we know it.

[1653] And it's probably right around the corner.

[1654] The same way cell phones and the internet changed our reality.

[1655] compared to our parents, this is going to change it 10 times.

[1656] But the neuro thing, is it, I get that your brain gets it right away.

[1657] I don't know how it works.

[1658] But let's say your brain gets it.

[1659] You put this machine on like this and then it sends it straight to your brain.

[1660] What's the difference of that besides quicker than you being on a computer and looking at?

[1661] You're still getting the same information.

[1662] I don't think that's the case.

[1663] But you're getting the same information.

[1664] I don't think that's how it works.

[1665] What does this guy say?

[1666] This is April Fool's Job.

[1667] Is it April Fool's Joe?

[1668] Yeah.

[1669] Oh.

[1670] What is the title?

[1671] the article.

[1672] Elon must might have let me try a neural link prototype, but release on April.

[1673] But let's say, and I know you don't know about, but let's say you put it on a device and all the information goes to your brain.

[1674] You're still getting the same information.

[1675] Maybe not.

[1676] Have you ever seen someone use an exoskeleton?

[1677] No, what is that?

[1678] Exoskeleton is like a suit that you put on that's like, say if you work in a factory, it'll allow you to pick up much heavier things.

[1679] Like you remember the movie aliens, Sigourney Weaver, she's fucking up that thing.

[1680] She's inside that robot.

[1681] Get away from it.

[1682] are you bitch you're like whoa this is ferocious that's like a giant robotic exoskeleton this is an exoskeleton that they use for people that are paralyzed and it helps them walk okay they also are developing exoskeletons oh that's a chair huh there's seven of them here that one has extra legs oh that's pretty dope there's things that help people like that gal right there is not a big person but she can work in a factory and you can carry things that are much heavier than what you would ordinarily be able to carry.

[1683] Now, they think that as technology moves and improves, they're going to get to the point where they develop, which is essentially like an Ironman suit.

[1684] That's like an exoskeleton.

[1685] You know, the Iron Man suit, like when he wears that, he's invincible.

[1686] He can fly, he can smash things and pick things up and throw things.

[1687] That's going, that is entirely possible that this is going to be our future.

[1688] That there's going to be suits that we wear that make us impervious.

[1689] Look at this guy's got one that lets us.

[1690] and fly around and he's got rockets that come out of his hands.

[1691] You think the government would ever approve that for us to get?

[1692] They don't have a chance.

[1693] It's not whether or not they approve it.

[1694] It doesn't have anything to do with them.

[1695] It has to do with the technologists.

[1696] It has to do with the scientists.

[1697] It has to do with the geniuses that are creating these things.

[1698] Because they're going to come in waves and these fucking dummies that don't even understand what Facebook is.

[1699] These are the same guys.

[1700] They're going to stop these people from putting out Iron Man suits.

[1701] They're not going to tell them until it's way too late.

[1702] Too late.

[1703] The way they already are.

[1704] And the one they tell them, they're going to make them for sale and they're not going to give them the option as to whether or not they regulate them.

[1705] They're just going to make them for people and then you're going to have to figure out the laws once people have them and then once grandma has one and all of a sudden grandma's playing tennis again you tell me grandma can't play tennis because some bad guys want to use an exoskeleton to rob a bank because that shit's coming.

[1706] All of it's coming.

[1707] Bulletproof exoskeletons.

[1708] But I still, everything you've said so far still to me is not bigger than not have an internet.

[1709] Well, Well, the internet opened the door, but we don't know if that tech not, like the thing that you can, like, talking to your phone and you could say, hey, Siri, when was the Constitution formulated?

[1710] Yeah.

[1711] You know, hey, Siri, what was the first draft of the Declaration of Independence written on?

[1712] You can ask those questions, the Siri will answer those questions.

[1713] Google search will answer those questions for you.

[1714] But what if you just know it?

[1715] What if that thought interfaces with your brain in a way where it describes things?

[1716] maybe in symbols or direct feed of information through some unfathomable technology that literally just permeates language.

[1717] It gets through all of that.

[1718] It just gives you information.

[1719] If I speak to you in a different language, it would automatically translate it.

[1720] Things like that.

[1721] Yes.

[1722] That's, well, they already could do that.

[1723] You know, they have these Google earbuds.

[1724] Yeah.

[1725] This pixel buds, I think they're called.

[1726] Really?

[1727] If that worked, would they just get rid of school or would school only be to tell you how to work that?

[1728] Well, you would need scholars because you would need to know whether or not this stuff is accurate.

[1729] You would need women and men who are educated in this and this is one of the reasons why the scientific method is so important.

[1730] One of the reasons why when people shit on ridiculous things like grievance studies and a lot of the things that are overcoming universities these days where you're taking away with your preposterous social justice ideology.

[1731] You're taking away from the real pursuit of knowledge and information because you wanted to match up with your ideology.

[1732] This is a dangerous time to fuck with information.

[1733] because people are already pooling up in these little echo chambers.

[1734] Well, they, you know, whether it's message boards or Twitter groups that you're in and they feed off of each other and agree on each other with each other all the time.

[1735] You've got to be really careful with information these days.

[1736] And also, you know, they have to keep scholars to keep the real information because it's just like that one show.

[1737] I forgot what it's called black something, black box, black mirror.

[1738] Like, they can change reality.

[1739] Like literally, like if you don't have scholars, to oversee this stuff, they can be like, oh, you know what, slavery never happened, or this never happened, and it would go away because the people born today wouldn't never know.

[1740] There's people that to this day will deny the Armenian genocide.

[1741] There's people to this day that deny that.

[1742] I mean, this is a real thing.

[1743] There are certain human beings that deny that.

[1744] And what's it going to be like 100 years from now?

[1745] I mean, how many of those people will exist then?

[1746] There's a lot of those circumstances in life where you have to be really careful about what information is, What's process?

[1747] Like, we have to, you have to be 100 % accurate if you're saying something that is a historical record.

[1748] And you can't fuck with it at all.

[1749] But they are now.

[1750] But everybody has, from history, but that's the reasons why all religions are different, right?

[1751] Because everybody has their own little version of history.

[1752] I mean, it's one of the reasons why many different religions have stories of Jesus, but they vary widely.

[1753] Yeah, yeah.

[1754] Who's telling the truth?

[1755] Well, I mean, it's, it's a thing where, where, what's scary to me about this world today is that, misinformation is out there all the time and people believe it and people just people don't read anymore they just listen to the bullet point and scream that out like literally and I don't want to get political or anything but but I remember when everybody was saying Obama's going to raise taxes and they were interviewing people that didn't even make 30 ,000 dollars saying oh he's going to raise my taxes like no he's not even talking about you but you're yelling out a bullet point if you would have read the article you would have read you were fine that's the thing people are in today we want to yell out bullet points.

[1756] If Fox News, if you watch that and they say this, you're just yelling at that, but you never read.

[1757] Like, if CNN is your thing, you're just yelling what they're saying, but you don't read.

[1758] Like me, I watch both.

[1759] I actually read both articles.

[1760] I can talk politics all day.

[1761] Like, I think, I think there are good things that Republicans do.

[1762] I think there's good things that Democrats do.

[1763] I think Democrats right now are in a state where they're, they fight amongst each other.

[1764] They're going to crush each other.

[1765] Before the election even comes.

[1766] It's, like Obama said, it's a circling fire squad.

[1767] They're shooting at each other.

[1768] And here's the thing.

[1769] The good thing about the Republicans, bad or good, however you take it, if one of them says, let's go, they go.

[1770] With Democrats, it's, ah, let's talk about it.

[1771] I mean, it's more intelligent way to do it, but they don't have each other's back, I feel, as much.

[1772] And that's why their messaging is always off.

[1773] That's why Donald Trump, Donald Trump could have never been a Democrat.

[1774] Like, if Donald Trump said, I want to run for president and been a Democrat.

[1775] They, there's, there's, they would have mesh where the Republicans, it works because, oh, we just want to stay in charge and whatever he says we're going to roll with.

[1776] You know, George Bush, weapons of bat, let's go.

[1777] You know, it's just they're 100 % behind it.

[1778] Why do you think that is?

[1779] I want to say, you know, I, when I was, I grew, I voted for Bush after 9 -11, right, because I'm from Texas, you know, and I think it's the ideology, uh, ideology that, oh, we want to pay back in, it's, I don't want to say good old boys, but it's like, hey, rah -rah, let's go.

[1780] Yeah.

[1781] That's the whole thing.

[1782] It's, it's, it's, man, you remember when the flags were on everybody's car?

[1783] Oh, yeah.

[1784] Oh, yeah.

[1785] And it was like, we were all behind it.

[1786] Dude, that was the weirdest.

[1787] I remember I was driving somewhere and I made a turn on the street near my house.

[1788] And it was one or two days after 9 -11.

[1789] And I never saw more flags on cars in my life.

[1790] It was like the world changed.

[1791] Like everybody had a flag on their car.

[1792] And everybody cared about each other or at least had that.

[1793] And that's the thing that's sad about the world today is I tell everybody.

[1794] And I'm not a politician, but I will say this.

[1795] When you have two different teams that are rivals, they'll never come to the same conclusion unless there's tragedy.

[1796] Right.

[1797] That was one of the things that Reagan said once when we was talking about, they were meeting with Gorbachev, and he said, I often wonder how we would put our differences aside if we were faced with an alien threat from another world.

[1798] Oh, we totally would.

[1799] Like the idea that this global conflict that we think about in terms of Russia versus the United States, but if there was some fucking aliens coming down here, war world style.

[1800] It would be Independence Day.

[1801] Everybody would join forces.

[1802] Everybody, because now you have a common enemy.

[1803] And I also believe the way our country is being ran right now, you know, Trump is good at making an enemy.

[1804] That he survives off an enemy.

[1805] This person's an enemy right now.

[1806] Everybody attack him.

[1807] Now this person's an enemy, everybody attack him.

[1808] I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

[1809] I'm just saying that's the way it is.

[1810] Yeah, he just fucks with people.

[1811] Apparently there's some dude that's his head of secret security or secret service that he calls Dumbo because the dude has big ears.

[1812] He replaced him at that.

[1813] He replaced him.

[1814] Oh, he fired him?

[1815] Yeah, I think so.

[1816] Dude, he is a fucking wild man and he's probably on speed.

[1817] That's what I think.

[1818] But it's crazy, man. I'm just watching this.

[1819] He's hilarious.

[1820] I mean, if it wasn't the fact that you think that like the moral fiber of our country's deteriorating, is this the guy?

[1821] Oh, he does have big ears.

[1822] That's some big ass fucking ears.

[1823] I know a lot of people with big ears that I like dearly But don't you but don't you believe this Joe Let's be honest If America like the whole country could look in the mirror when Donald Trump was elected It's a reflection of America when he got it when he got voted It's a reflection of a percentage of us for sure No no no but egotistical It's a drama of some of some Yeah but I don't want to generalize like in terms of like say that's America I would, I would for a joke.

[1824] But, I mean, if you were being serious.

[1825] But I am being serious.

[1826] Well, then why were there's, why was there the women's march where millions of women were in the street?

[1827] Well, let me tell you why.

[1828] Because I think Donald Trump, here's when everybody was depressed, Donald Trump was president, I go, you got to look at the positives.

[1829] If Hillary was elected, those women would have never got together to march.

[1830] Donald Trump has brought more people together against him.

[1831] We were marching.

[1832] Americans were marching for Muslims after Donald Trump became president.

[1833] The positivity that Donald Trump has created with the opposition and the in the togetherness, you had a million women march because Donald Trump was president.

[1834] You had people marching for the Muslims because Donald Trump was president.

[1835] He's brought for the first time, I feel like the side that opposes Donald Trump, they're more together than ever.

[1836] And even though we say it's ripped the country apart, you know, because there's some problems.

[1837] in this country.

[1838] But it has brought a bunch of people together.

[1839] And I don't think if Hillary was president, you wouldn't have had the women march.

[1840] You wouldn't have had the march for Muslims.

[1841] You wouldn't have people back in immigrants.

[1842] She'd just start executing men.

[1843] That's what she would do.

[1844] She'd take them all in the middle of town square and start shooting him.

[1845] First with Bill.

[1846] Bill would be the first one.

[1847] She'd behead him on television.

[1848] Well, that was the whole thing.

[1849] Like, you did.

[1850] Public execution.

[1851] Yeah, just like Iran.

[1852] Just like our allies in Iran.

[1853] but don't you but don't you think does iran do public executions or is it syria syria does right but don't you think like when hillary didn't stand up to build that's where she lost everybody it started way before the election because women wanted her to stand up to them back then you don't know what she did or didn't right we just know what she did publicly and publicly why would she do that that seems like it's crazy to do like why you're you're a dignified person you're gonna publicly well not trash them but you don't have to stand next to them Even Melania Trump bounces on Trump.

[1854] You know, she's like, she's like, nah.

[1855] I think Hillary without Bill didn't exist.

[1856] I think that guy was a dick slinging buccaneer.

[1857] And he made his way into the motherfucking White House.

[1858] And she rode that wave.

[1859] Yeah.

[1860] There was a giant V -12 sucking gasoline like it was going out of style, blowing a big wake behind it.

[1861] And she was hanging on to that fucking wakeboard line.

[1862] Jesus.

[1863] Bill, where are we going?

[1864] She wasn't gutting out of Arkansas.

[1865] She wasn't getting in the White House.

[1866] She wasn't the Secretary of State.

[1867] Settled down with that nonsense.

[1868] So it's kind of like, hey, you know what you got yourself into?

[1869] Is that what you're saying?

[1870] Well, there's that.

[1871] And there's also, she's a liar.

[1872] Oh, no, 100%.

[1873] Yeah.

[1874] Like, and maybe she's a liar because she's a politician.

[1875] But when just you compare what was public, like her knowledge of what went wrong with the email servers and all that jazz.

[1876] and many other instances too that just one we'll talk about and what Comey said when Comey was examining the evidence and what they did wrong and what she said they did wrong they're very different things very different things and this is politics right if your base hears you say something that isn't true but you say it with confidence even though the evidence doesn't support it that argument takes place and it blurs the gray area in the middle between guilt and innocent do you do you think when when uh somebody gets elected president they have a meeting and then they say these are the things you can go after and these are the things you can't because if you go after this we can't protect you from it I really believe those conversations happen in the White House like what kind of things you think they they say they can't protect you from I think like don't go after the Jews no no no no no no I'm saying like there's certain organizations like leave the Rockefellers alone there's certain away from the Rothschilds there's certain organizations don't talk about the CFR No, I'm not saying...

[1877] Stay out of Bohemian Grove.

[1878] I just think there's a list of corporations, big corporations that run America that they say you can't go after because a lot of presidents go in there saying, I'm going to do this against this.

[1879] I'm not going to even say the corporation because I want to live.

[1880] And I feel that Secret Service really calls these people in the presidents and go, hey, this is who you can't go after?

[1881] Here's who you can't.

[1882] And if you do go after those, you're kind of on your own because we won't be able to save you because they're too powerful.

[1883] I believe in that.

[1884] There are giant corporations that have incredible influence on politicians because they spend.

[1885] Yeah.

[1886] And spend so much money to keep them in power and get them into power and help contribute to the campaigns.

[1887] And then they scratch each other's backs.

[1888] If a president were to go in and say, I'm going to get rid of all lobbyists.

[1889] That president would not make it through his term.

[1890] Well, it's hard to say that.

[1891] No, it's not.

[1892] No, there's too much money, Joe.

[1893] I mean, I know you might be right, but I'm saying if I'm going to agree with you in this day and age, it's hard to say that.

[1894] Because you'd have to get everybody on board with killing a president.

[1895] I think they definitely did it with Kennedy.

[1896] Oh, you mean, I think if you.

[1897] You know, I was talking to, you know, Byron Bowers.

[1898] No, but do you have to get everybody on board?

[1899] Yes.

[1900] I mean, it just takes.

[1901] You have to get everybody on board who knows about it.

[1902] Because otherwise, people are going to tell.

[1903] If you go and kill the fucking president, you have to get a lot of people on board.

[1904] We're probably going to get rated by the Secret Service right now.

[1905] No, I'm saying, if you want to kill.

[1906] to kill a president, it's not like it used to be.

[1907] I think it used to be less consequential, not that it was always, I mean, like John Wilkes Booth days, right?

[1908] Way easier to kill the president than it is now.

[1909] Then Kennedy, way easier to kill a president in 1963 than it is to kill a president in 2019.

[1910] Could you still do it?

[1911] Yeah, but you're probably going to get caught.

[1912] Like, you would probably get caught.

[1913] You would have to have, I mean, there would have to be, you would have to have a tiny small circle of fucking sociopaths and psychopaths, and they all agree to keep it hush.

[1914] To me, it's just one person calling another person saying, do this, pay them off.

[1915] And then you can get caught, but one person, look, you have secret service, you have military protecting them.

[1916] Yeah.

[1917] It's different.

[1918] Yeah.

[1919] Because you'd have to get some to get past all that, you know, and someone would have to make a mistake in mapping.

[1920] Like, that was one of the things I said about Dealey Plaza.

[1921] they rolled Kennedy through, they're like, what fucking security person would ever agree to let someone roll through the convertible with buildings all around?

[1922] Yeah.

[1923] Yeah.

[1924] And then also you have to take that long, slow turn where, you know, it's not only just drive by going 50 miles an hour and you got to get your gun on and shoot them quick.

[1925] No, the guy was driving slow.

[1926] It's, it's ridiculous.

[1927] It's like you're asking for someone to get assassinated.

[1928] But I just, I just really feel like there are rules like that we'll never ever know about but once you get in there they're like hey here's what you need to know here's what you need to know not to go against i would think that if anybody's going to tell us that's trump i think the best thing that could ever happen is that trump gets out of his terms in the white house and just starts talking it starts writing books tell us everything yeah you want to be the king of the world write a fucking a huge book on exactly what it's like the day you become the president that would be insane how how do you think he's going to be treat it once it gets out though they'll love him you think so they love bush people hated bush they called bush a war criminal now he's an adorable grandpa paints no it's true it's true it's true look man whatever people hated obama when he was in office they're gonna love him within a few years i mean most people that were supporters of obama they love him now yeah i mean he's like he's the highest right yeah uh -huh yeah he's like i mean i don't know i think they're gonna i think a certain percentage of the population loves Trump right now, period.

[1929] And, you know, they have reasons to back it up in terms of like the economy, what they think is happening with job creation, all these different things that he's doing that may or may not have devastating implications depending on who you talk to that's an expert and I'm not one.

[1930] Yeah, me neither.

[1931] But there's obviously, and then also people say, well, this is a trend that was actually going on during the Obama administration.

[1932] He's just riding the wave.

[1933] Maybe.

[1934] I'm too stupid.

[1935] I don't understand that stuff.

[1936] But I'm saying there's, in terms of numbers, it's not like the country is completely imploding right now.

[1937] I mean, maybe some people, by some people's metric, it's not doing as well as he would like to pretend it is, probably.

[1938] But my thing, it doesn't even matter, like, when they say the stocks are up and all that?

[1939] It's, it's, what matters is your personal life.

[1940] Are you in a better place?

[1941] Because he's president.

[1942] Like, I think we get caught up.

[1943] But for some people, they're not, right?

[1944] Some people, like, if you get rounded up by ice, no, you're not.

[1945] Yeah, you're not.

[1946] You know?

[1947] I mean, that's, it's horrible.

[1948] This is the worst time ever for perception of us in terms of like the way we handle immigrants.

[1949] Well, you know, you know the bad part about immigrants.

[1950] It's all bad.

[1951] But you know the problem is they've dealt with this problem, what, for the last 30, 40 years?

[1952] I mean, and if they make nicer facilities, let's say they know they're coming.

[1953] So they don't have enough judges.

[1954] The facilities are horrible.

[1955] So let's say they make nicer facilities.

[1956] Then the government thinks the whole thinking of the government is if we do that, then that's going to encourage more to come.

[1957] because now it's nice yeah they're like bro you get over there it's nice you get a shower they have delicious food yeah they have a taco stand you have a fucking party over there bro margaritas you party with the guards once you get to know them they're good guys and that's the thing is like what do you do what do like i think i think this is a problem that will take generations to fix and the only way there is a problem the only way it's really going to get fixed really is two ways one you got to make drugs legal and two you got to prop up all these countries all these countries that are third world countries where these people are fleeing because they don't have any possibility there's no hope for them wherever they are if they're in incredibly poor countries there's no future they don't they don't have the resources they don't have anything to do so the only way you can keep people happy on a global scale is you've got to figure out like we've the highs of the highs right are like wealthy people in the industrialized western world right Right.

[1958] The lows of the lows are people that lived in, that are living in these places that are disease ridden, poverty stricken, horrible with no future.

[1959] We've got to figure out a way to bring everybody to a comfortable middle all over the world so that there's no extreme poverty in any location anywhere.

[1960] If we want to eradicate diseases, okay, for sure we do, right?

[1961] We all do.

[1962] Don't we want to eradicate the problem, the dis -ease of poverty is a dis -ease.

[1963] It's a terrible feeling to be poor and scrounging for food in a crime -ridden environment.

[1964] And the only way to fix that is put attention on those areas and use money to try to raise it up.

[1965] They're not going to raise up on their own.

[1966] They never have.

[1967] No, they never, and never will.

[1968] Yeah.

[1969] I just think globally, if people ever could get their shit together, and this is what I hope, this is my, If I had like a pipe dream of technology.

[1970] Yes.

[1971] That technology gets us to a place where we can read each other's minds.

[1972] And I think this is possible.

[1973] And I think once we can read each other's minds, we can understand that we're not that dissimilar.

[1974] That we're not nearly as far apart as we think we are.

[1975] And that most of our problems that we have are problems of ego and problems of ideology and problems of ethics and morals and truth and lies.

[1976] And that reading each other's minds will sort a lot of that out and then we're going to figure out a way to I don't want to say like for redistribution of wealth I don't think you should just give people things what I think you should do is try to figure out a way to rebuild communities and give people opportunities to live better lives and we have to do that globally I think but I think the problem today is presented to because I listen to both sides when you travel as a comic you'll people just come up to you and tell you their views on just random things so you hear from both sides one side is like I don't want to just give out stuff for free you know I I, why should I give them stuff?

[1977] I worked hard for mine.

[1978] And the other, you got other people that go, well, we need to help everyone out because we are the world type of situation, you know.

[1979] They're both right.

[1980] They're both right.

[1981] Yes.

[1982] They're 100 % both right.

[1983] But you don't want to give people stuff, but you don't want to just, you got lucky.

[1984] Yeah.

[1985] You got lucky as fuck.

[1986] You're born in America.

[1987] I mean, you're from Texas.

[1988] I'm from Boston.

[1989] Dude, we're, we're from like the industrialized Western world in the pinnacle of civilization in terms of like opportunity.

[1990] There's never been a place like this.

[1991] We're the luckiest fucking people that ever walked to face the planet.

[1992] Anybody who doesn't acknowledge that, you gotta be crazy, man. I became friends with this lady at a restaurant and me and my wife and son would always go in there.

[1993] And we got really close and she was just talking about like, you know, her family's from Ecuador and her kids, she can't afford her kids to be over here.

[1994] So she's sending a school over there and she keeps sending money over there.

[1995] But like it's riddled with gangs.

[1996] nothing but gangs out there.

[1997] And if they find out you're in America sending money back, they'll hold your family hostage.

[1998] You know what I mean?

[1999] And it's, and that's real.

[2000] People don't believe that.

[2001] They think they, oh, that's not.

[2002] It's real.

[2003] Like this lady we've known for over like eight years.

[2004] And she tells these stories about like her sending their money and she has a person out there that basically, you know, lives in a little house and keeps everything secret.

[2005] Because if it comes out that she's sending money to them, they'll hold that family hostage.

[2006] and cut the fingers off and shit.

[2007] it's bad.

[2008] It's bad.

[2009] And we're living here, you know, we're lucky.

[2010] We're doing this podcast, but there are people struggling.

[2011] And when I hear people go, ah, you know, that's their problem.

[2012] Nah, that's, that's terrible, man. You're an awful human being.

[2013] Yeah.

[2014] Your perspective sucks, for sure.

[2015] It's terrible.

[2016] And it's going on all over the world.

[2017] And it's creating this.

[2018] And I feel that, you know, we're creating this, me, me, me situation.

[2019] But I also think, we need to also have conversations about it.

[2020] I did a show in Kansas City, and I always talk about when I do stand -up, I don't talk politics.

[2021] So, you know, you do the local press and things, and there were people to come out to my shows in Trump hats, like literally wearing Trump hats, sat front row.

[2022] Did that to fuck with you?

[2023] I don't know, but I don't.

[2024] Also, I don't care.

[2025] But they probably did.

[2026] They probably did.

[2027] Because after the show, literally, and when I say Trump's board, like, they look, I mean, like the big hustle.

[2028] you go out of like that time you think and they go we heard our wife said you weren't going to talk politics so we want to see you know and and then she goes he's right you didn't you know and oh god we wanted to see and we're going to sit up front where our Trump had support our leader just the case you crack any funny he's about his orange skin or his fucked up hair but I didn't I didn't because that's not my comedy but they bought all basically they bought tons of merch because I didn't do it and they also said something that was important and I think this is important to know when you try to make a point to somebody.

[2029] When you start off yelling at them, it's never going to go well.

[2030] If you can explain it to them through your eyes and not yell, have a conversation.

[2031] Because I talk a lot about, like, you know, I talk a lot about growing up in an all -white neighborhood in the racist things that I encountered.

[2032] And I didn't yell at them.

[2033] And I didn't say, I hate white people.

[2034] I just told my point of view.

[2035] And they actually were open And they actually respond.

[2036] I understand now.

[2037] You know, nobody's ever explained it to us like that.

[2038] And I think it's about conversation, not because when we watch TV, it's all about, you suck, you suck.

[2039] Well, let me tell you why.

[2040] You know, you got to start from a place.

[2041] Put it like this.

[2042] I don't know if you heard of this Green Deal where they want to take 70 % of anyone that makes over $10 million, 70 % of their income.

[2043] That's hilarious.

[2044] That's hilarious.

[2045] It's the dumbest thing ever.

[2046] That's AOC, right?

[2047] her idea it's the dumbest thing ever right i mean i wasn't calling her a bitch no no no i like her i was saying good luck bitch as a expression yes i like her too i like her but i don't agree with her that but i like her but what i'm saying is my friend was like oh you know if the democrats win that's going to get passed because we hate rich people and i go that's the problem we're starting at hate the reason why you think it's going to pass because you think people hate rich people see and that's you got to have a conversation here's the thing first of all you've got incompetent you of funds.

[2048] Where does the money go?

[2049] Exactly.

[2050] Where does it go?

[2051] This idea that if you tax the rich that all of a sudden all the problems will stop existing.

[2052] That is so silly.

[2053] You still have incompetent people that are distributing the money.

[2054] They'll just create more jobs.

[2055] There'll be more red tape.

[2056] And we get more in debt.

[2057] Yeah.

[2058] What we've got to do is figure out a real plan for engineering our civilization better.

[2059] That's what people have to do.

[2060] And there should be like real discussion from like real experts.

[2061] biologists, people who really understand psychologists, people really understand human beings, really understand what's wrong with our society today and we have an open discussion nationally about that.

[2062] But that can never happen.

[2063] Of course it can.

[2064] No, no, no. Right now, because of the government, because here's the thing.

[2065] What do you mean?

[2066] That can happen.

[2067] It's just we have to look at it in terms of a real priority.

[2068] But no, it goes by, it goes by the whoever parties in charge their priorities.

[2069] It's not, Like, my problem is to make it a priority for the nation.

[2070] That's what I'm saying.

[2071] But that's not impossible.

[2072] But until you have a person, I believe everything can be fixed.

[2073] This is a simple fix.

[2074] If you just elect a person that takes some Republican values and some Democratic values, the thing is right now in politics, you have to be one or the other.

[2075] Like, if I can, if a person came in and go, you know what, I like these Republican ideas, I like these Democratic ideas, let's roll.

[2076] I'm going to be down the middle and let's roll with both.

[2077] It's called being a centrist.

[2078] that exists.

[2079] Yeah, but it needs to win.

[2080] But that can happen.

[2081] It can happen.

[2082] All of it can happen.

[2083] But until that happened.

[2084] But until that happens.

[2085] What does that mean, though?

[2086] Every four years, we figure out what happens, right?

[2087] And before Trump won, we never thought a reality show fucking guy could win, but that guy won.

[2088] And you go, okay, well, now we know that happens.

[2089] All this stuff can happen.

[2090] This is not like we're not asking for alchemy.

[2091] We're not trying to turn lead into gold.

[2092] We're trying to figure out a way.

[2093] But you're going against a system that is, you are.

[2094] You are.

[2095] No, we.

[2096] there's a new system.

[2097] The new system is the system of public opinion which is readily accessible.

[2098] Absolutely.

[2099] And that's never happened before.

[2100] There's never been a time where everyone had a say in one way, shape, or form.

[2101] Whether it's through commenting, through Instagram or Twitter or social media, that's one of the reasons why upholding the freedom of speech in these things is so important, even if people are saying things you don't agree with.

[2102] The only way this all gets sorted out is we get to figure out a way to express ourselves.

[2103] And there's going to be arguments back and forth.

[2104] But what you've got to do is someone's got to put forth an educated plan, like a plan that's based on science and reason and a plan that you can debate against opposers of that plan.

[2105] But when you have people that don't believe in science, a lot of, how do you, how do you, how do you?

[2106] Slowly but surely, you've got to educate people.

[2107] It's going to take generations.

[2108] This is what I'm saying.

[2109] It's like the momentum of our stubbornness and our past and the sort of the systems that we find ourselves stuck in, systems of behavior and thinking.

[2110] and culture, all that stuff is it's going to take a long time before we sort the wheat from the chaff.

[2111] We're going to figure out what's good and what's bad and we're doing it.

[2112] We're doing it, but we're doing it actively and it's frustrating because you're like, God damn it, this is the worst time.

[2113] We still have all these problems.

[2114] We still have cops shooting people.

[2115] We still have crime.

[2116] We still have Wall Street theft.

[2117] We still have all this stuff.

[2118] Yeah.

[2119] But you know what I like is we know about it now.

[2120] Where it's not hidden like 20 years ago, like you heard in, let's go 30 years ago, You heard NWA make that song, F the Police.

[2121] Yeah.

[2122] And they're talking about the same things that are happening today, except you would hear the song and go, oh, that's a great song.

[2123] What about Rodney King?

[2124] Yeah, Rodney King.

[2125] You watched him get the fuck beaten out of him on TV.

[2126] And here's the thing about the Rodney King thing.

[2127] That guy apparently was a, like, he'd done a bunch of crazy shit, right?

[2128] He'd gotten a car chase with the cops.

[2129] He beat the fuck out of somebody before that.

[2130] There was a lot going on.

[2131] You just got to see the end of it while this guy is.

[2132] Was he on, what was he on?

[2133] I don't know if he, was he on a drug?

[2134] Yeah, I think he was on PCP.

[2135] PCP apparently makes you look superhuman strong.

[2136] I had a buddy of mine who got his finger bitten off while he's on PCP.

[2137] So he didn't even know it.

[2138] Finger bitten off by who?

[2139] A street fight.

[2140] Yeah.

[2141] It's like he didn't even realize his, because he was, he was on PCP.

[2142] He didn't even realize somebody bit his finger off.

[2143] Then he went to, yeah, he had, he had his toe removed, and his toe put onto his finger where his finger used to be was it a thumb no it's his pinky finger or his uh his um trigger finger so on one of his and he had it curved so he could always throw right hooks so his when you'd shake his hand he would give you like this weird handshake where he would shake your hand but there was always one finger that wouldn't straight now you kind of tick the middle it didn't move good yeah because they it was really his toe that they replaced his finger with a toe that must have looked weird it was weird it was real weird yeah but that's piece of it CCP son living that PCP life that fucking crazy people in Boston man he was a boxing coach oh yeah I don't know man it's just we need to get to a better place yeah we're getting to a better place but I think it's a long slow process I think we are in the I mean there's people that say you're like hey to to minimize the suffering that people feel right now is unjust and for you to say that is outrageous and it's just a hallmark of your delusional perspective that's not true this is not denying the awful things of the world the awful things of the world exist but if you try to look at this as a mathematical equation if you looked above he would say well there's a lot of problems here there's a lot of competing factors there's environmental factors like what are they doing to the world what are they doing to the ocean what are they doing to the air oh jesus everything's warming up and people are fighting over what's causing it like they're not even paying intent this is madness but look how much knowledge there is look how much discussion there is what movements there's They're moving and growing, and people are, even when they're misinformed, it's still, there's activity.

[2144] There's all this stuff going on.

[2145] Even when, you know, someone says, hey, we're going to tax everybody that makes more than $10 million, 70 percent.

[2146] Like, bitch, you ain't taxing shit.

[2147] Stop.

[2148] Just stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[2149] Just because someone works really hard.

[2150] You can't take all of it.

[2151] Look, stop people from stealing money.

[2152] Stop people for, but if you, if people say, well, we want equality of outcome.

[2153] Okay.

[2154] As soon as we get equality of effort, talk to me. Yes.

[2155] As soon as we get it.

[2156] Some people don't hustle.

[2157] They just don't.

[2158] And I don't know why.

[2159] Maybe it's the way they're raised.

[2160] Maybe they have poor nutrition.

[2161] Maybe they have hookworm.

[2162] I don't know what the fuck it is.

[2163] But don't say that everybody's supposed to hit the right spot.

[2164] And everyone's going to get to this spot.

[2165] And then after that spot, we're going to divvy up all the money.

[2166] So nobody ever makes more than $100 ,000 a year in the world's a better place.

[2167] Bitch, that doesn't make the world a better place.

[2168] That makes lazy people happy.

[2169] Yeah.

[2170] That some fucking juggernaut, like Mark Cuban or one of these billionaire characters is like hustling constantly and gathering up massive resources.

[2171] Yeah, he's playing the game of Monopoly, but he's playing it 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

[2172] That's his option.

[2173] He can do that.

[2174] You can't stop people from doing that.

[2175] What you can stop them is from doing unjust things with that money, and what maybe you can do is help someone lean towards a like a Bill Gates type situation where he does so much good and so much charitable work and helps out so many people that he go, oh, well, maybe it's not a bad thing for a guy like that to have all that money.

[2176] because you don't have to think of him as just Mr. Money bags.

[2177] Like maybe you can think of him as he does have access to all this money, but he's also this incredible resource for hope and change and prosperity for some folks.

[2178] I think, I think people wouldn't mind giving money to something that they see being built.

[2179] Like if there's work into it, people hate the idea of just giving money and not seeing something from it.

[2180] Sure.

[2181] You know, but when you're building stuff.

[2182] Even it's people that don't know what the fuck to do with it.

[2183] And they're just going to find a use for it because that's what bureaucracy is.

[2184] I don't know, man. I don't know.

[2185] I don't know, Joe.

[2186] We just.

[2187] I don't know either, but I do know that it's fashionable to say it sucks.

[2188] It's fashionable to say everything sucks.

[2189] Well, it's easy to say that.

[2190] But like you said, but I really think it starts with if the government is not on the same page and they're always fighting, you can't, you can't move forward.

[2191] all this great stuff you're saying can't move forward because it starts from the top joe that's true but it starts from the top what's interesting is one of the things that's cool about the government fighting is you get to see that like even the president can't do the things that he wants yes he has to consult with people and they have to agree on something and it has to be reasonable and they have to present it to the american people and so the people have to represent their constituents and so you're seeing this really fascinating thing because you've never had a guy like trump in office before so you see him say he's going to do things and then you see the rest of the government going the fuck you are yeah the fuck you are and then you watch this stalemate you watch this this go down and you watch these people being forced to negotiate and the way Trump is forced to talk about Nancy Pelosi because she has so much power you know you know he wants to call her a cunt oh yeah he wants to call her an old witch like the fuck out of here but he has to pay the respect because he knows now she golf claps right in his face she's like gives him this man I it's so fun to watch it's so fun to watch right now it is a fun time man and what social media being so big how do you how do you deal with people like the the haters because there's so many people I call them thumb thugs but how do you deal you just they're they're hating in the dark I don't know what they're doing you don't read all those comments do you I don't read shit anymore man yeah very very rarely go into mentions I'm and if I do it's usually a mistake I just I just do my best yeah do my best I post and I go I post and ghost you don't even look at people's feeds do you no I look at some people's feet on Instagram when I'm bored.

[2192] You know, I'll read some things.

[2193] You know, I'll look at some cool pictures.

[2194] I watch some inspirational shit.

[2195] I like going to the rocks, seeing them lifting weights.

[2196] Man, pumped up.

[2197] I want to go to the gym.

[2198] Let me tell you.

[2199] The Rock is amazing.

[2200] Let me tell you.

[2201] C .T. Fletcher.

[2202] I interviewed The Rock.

[2203] The first time I met him, it was like 11 years ago during the game plan.

[2204] And we just hit it off, right?

[2205] Game playing?

[2206] The Game Plan.

[2207] That's where he played a quarterback.

[2208] He was a lot thinner.

[2209] Oh, it was his first breakout movie.

[2210] Oh, okay.

[2211] He did Scorpion and then the Game Plan.

[2212] And after that, interview.

[2213] He took some time and just talked to me. He wasn't the rock then.

[2214] I mean, he was and then over the years, every time I interviewed him, he would pull me aside and go, are you going to my acting coach?

[2215] Are you doing this?

[2216] Are you doing that?

[2217] Is there anything I can help you with?

[2218] And I'm like, what?

[2219] And then he got bigger and bigger.

[2220] And the last time I saw him, same thing.

[2221] Yo, are you doing, are you going to the acting coach?

[2222] Are you working on your goals?

[2223] Are you improving?

[2224] Like literally his Instagram, but in real life.

[2225] And I'm, and it's, and he'll never know this, but it's a thing that's for me, just average Schmo, Michael Yo, to take the time out every time I interview him, to ask me if I'm achieving my goals, if I'm moving forward and like giving me positive things, positive thoughts, to take that time like five minutes after every interview, and this dude is booked nonstop, but to actually take time, and it's just so inspirational and to see him be the biggest movie star in the world, and he knows everybody's name.

[2226] He's very respected.

[2227] I don't know if he has an earpiece, but like, it's like the president when he wants.

[2228] He knows everybody's name.

[2229] He could be president.

[2230] He could, oh, 100 %.

[2231] A hundred percent.

[2232] A hundred percent.

[2233] He could run for.

[2234] I would, too.

[2235] Because he believes, he's just a hard worker.

[2236] He's also comes from humble beginnings.

[2237] Yes.

[2238] I mean, he's in Hawaii right now.

[2239] He's filming on his Instagram.

[2240] He's talking about all the neighborhoods that he goes back to to to check, see where he was, where's from when he was poor and starving.

[2241] Yeah.

[2242] You know, I mean, he really is from humble beginnings.

[2243] I mean, he had only like, you know, it's the story like $5 left in his account.

[2244] And then he got discovered in wrestling.

[2245] And I knew him in Miami when he was doing WWE.

[2246] I interviewed him a couple times over there.

[2247] And he played for the University of Miami, my favorite college football team.

[2248] So it's a thing where, you know, the history of 11 years, but for him that big to take time to motivate me separately.

[2249] And, you know, I know, if he sees me out, he knows my name, but it's not like I'm texting.

[2250] I'm not like Kevin Hart with him.

[2251] And just to be a random dude that he takes time out every time he sees me to make sure I'm hitting my goals and moving forward with my career and not back.

[2252] And then offering, hey, if you ever need anything, get in touch with me. You know, I would never take him up on that.

[2253] But it's a thing where I'm nobody.

[2254] He's the rock.

[2255] And to be that inspiration.

[2256] I mean, it just does so much, man. Like, little things that big celebrities do or somebody that really inspires you like they don't know how much that means like just some just that little time he spends yeah i think he knows i think he does know i think he's a genuine leader he is you know that's 100 % i think that's why so many people like him because what he says is it's authentic like it's really who he is there is nothing fake about that man you don't have to be fake you just have to be successful and if you want to work as hard as that guy you can be successful i i asked one I was like, do you just take a bunch of pictures at the gym, and just posts throughout the day.

[2257] You don't get that big from taking pictures, bro.

[2258] I know, man. That guy's picking heavy shit up.

[2259] That's too big.

[2260] But you know what?

[2261] I left.

[2262] That's just too big, Joe.

[2263] It's not too big for him.

[2264] No, but that's an action star.

[2265] Dude, and he's the first action star that looks like an actor.

[2266] Like, I would want him to save my life in real life.

[2267] Wow.

[2268] What is he, like six, seven or something like that?

[2269] How tall is he?

[2270] He's a giant.

[2271] He's a little bit taller than me. I'm six three.

[2272] He's giant.

[2273] built like a fucking, like a legitimate superhero.

[2274] Like, Will Smith was my guy, but I left Will Smith for the rock.

[2275] Damn, you left him.

[2276] No, no, no. I still, he's still You left Will?

[2277] No, I didn't.

[2278] Wow.

[2279] No, but like, like, like, you got to do what you got to do, a burning building, a burning building.

[2280] Who's going to save you?

[2281] Who's going to save you?

[2282] Who's going to save you?

[2283] Aliens coming at you.

[2284] Uh, Independence Day?

[2285] Did you not see Will Smith?

[2286] Save the world, you motherfucker?

[2287] I dug my, look, I love Will Smith.

[2288] But the In earthquake.

[2289] An earthquake.

[2290] Well, if you want someone, one to hold one hand on the top of a building and then hold your wrist with another and know that he's got you according to the movie poster that's the rock see i never saw will smith holding the top of a building will smith can shoot a gun well smith can shoot a gun he fucked out those those zombies he did i am legend oh man what a great movie that's a great fucking movie oh my goodness it's great fucking movie god yeah but will smith and the rock need to make a movie together they never have is that No, that would be amazing.

[2291] That'd be the biggest movie in the history of the known universe.

[2292] Who else?

[2293] Tom Cruise.

[2294] Get them all together.

[2295] Tom Cruise, Will Smith, and the Rock.

[2296] Have you ever interviewed Tom Cruise?

[2297] No, but only with my brain when I'm in my sensory deprivation tank, he reaches out to me. Does he really?

[2298] He makes a mind meld.

[2299] He puts on his Scientology earbuds, any astral travels.

[2300] Can I tell you it's amazing interview, Tom Cruise?

[2301] What's amazing about it?

[2302] It's because you hear so many different stories.

[2303] Do you wake up with your pants off?

[2304] No, I didn't.

[2305] No, not that time.

[2306] Where am I?

[2307] He sympathized me. But he doesn't break eye contact with you.

[2308] That's what I like.

[2309] No, he just like, hey, what's up?

[2310] Yeah.

[2311] And what he'll do is, like, nervous.

[2312] No, I'm not, no, no, no, no. No, but that's what he's doing.

[2313] He's making you nervous.

[2314] Or he just wants you to know.

[2315] He's locked in on you.

[2316] He's locked in.

[2317] Right.

[2318] Like, he will not break eye contact.

[2319] Like, if you look over here, he'll be like, probably makes it hard for you to ask fucked up questions.

[2320] No, what he does.

[2321] And I tell all my.

[2322] I tell all my friends When you interview Tom Cruise He will ask him a question He'll try to make it three minutes long So he doesn't have you can't ask him that many So you got to learn You got to build a relationship with him So then you can ask him a bunch See I've interviewed him so many times I'll walk it I remember one time I walked in a room I was like hey Tom I got five minutes So we're going to have to answer these questions So I got to that point But he's a great and nice guy Did you ever get to Scientology?

[2323] No Never Is that part of the deal?

[2324] You can't ask him about that.

[2325] Well, I heard a part of Scientology is for you to walk out the room saying how great they are.

[2326] And I just did it.

[2327] I just did it.

[2328] Right.

[2329] Yeah.

[2330] So maybe.

[2331] It works.

[2332] It did.

[2333] It just worked.

[2334] Well, that's just a philosophy on like how to influence people, right?

[2335] Yeah.

[2336] Positively influence people.

[2337] You want those people really thinking the best of you.

[2338] Well, good strategy.

[2339] Well, everybody was like, oh, he's crazy.

[2340] Is this?

[2341] Is that?

[2342] Every time I interview, he's great.

[2343] I love, I mean, I love Tom Cruise.

[2344] Some of my favorite people are crazy.

[2345] Yeah?

[2346] Yeah.

[2347] Tell me someone's crazy.

[2348] It doesn't shake me. I'm not like, okay, well, I'm not going to talk to them.

[2349] They're crazy.

[2350] My favorite people are all crazy.

[2351] Yeah.

[2352] Like literally crazy.

[2353] My favorite people.

[2354] So if someone tells me that someone's crazy, I'm like, okay, what else you got?

[2355] It's crazy.

[2356] It's crazy not scary to me. Like, Will Smith is awesome?

[2357] He's got to be crazy.

[2358] Will Smith?

[2359] Sure.

[2360] No. No. Something's going on.

[2361] Too nice.

[2362] Too nice, too smart.

[2363] No, get out of here.

[2364] Get out of here.

[2365] Is he a Scientologist?

[2366] I have no idea.

[2367] The problem is when I, the problem I, the problem I had, dude, the problem I have would be an entertainment reporter.

[2368] They give you questions to ask and you have to ask them or literally it could be your job.

[2369] So they flowed out like a bunch of real dumb ones?

[2370] Did they give you any room to like, oh yeah, you could do whatever you want, but they'll be like, hey, you got to ask this question.

[2371] And it's like if somebody just got divorced, you got to be like, hey, what happened to a divorce?

[2372] Damn.

[2373] Oh, and it sucks.

[2374] You got to ask women that?

[2375] Yeah.

[2376] That's why I stopped doing it, man. I couldn't.

[2377] One time, what's her name?

[2378] Anna, God, what's her name?

[2379] Shoot, she was in Devils Word, Prada, not Merrill Street, but Ann Hathaway.

[2380] So they gave me the dumbest question that asked Anna Hathaway.

[2381] Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were on the cover of Vogue.

[2382] And right before that, it was Anne Hathaway.

[2383] And so they told me, they go, hey, why don't you ask her?

[2384] what she thinks about the cover because everybody was like, oh, this is bull crap that Kim Kardashian.

[2385] I asked Anne Hathaway that question.

[2386] And she goes, well, you know, I don't run the magazine, so it really doesn't matter to me. I'm like, fine.

[2387] So I finished the question.

[2388] I'm walking down the stairs and go, then I hear it.

[2389] She goes, why the fuck would he ask me that question?

[2390] I don't give a shit who's on that magazine.

[2391] And I was about to turn back around because I kind of got mad.

[2392] But now I was like, man, she's fucking right.

[2393] That was a dumb -ass question.

[2394] Well, maybe you could say, I'm sorry.

[2395] They made me ask you that question.

[2396] It was too late, man. It was too late.

[2397] Yeah, that's a part of the problem with some producers like winding you up, like a little robot, click, click, click, get out there, ask the questions I ask.

[2398] And if you don't ask, oh, they get so mad.

[2399] Oh, yeah.

[2400] Yeah, they threaten your job with it.

[2401] Well, that's why those shows are always so canned, you know, when you have people talking to entertainers and everything, so canned.

[2402] It just seems so inauthentic.

[2403] Like, they wanted me to ask.

[2404] My first interview ever was with Jennifer Aniston and Marley and me. And this is right after she broke up with.

[2405] Brad Pitt.

[2406] They wanted you to ask about Brad Pitt?

[2407] They wanted me to ask about Brad Pitt.

[2408] And I was like, no, I can't do that.

[2409] Did you tell them no?

[2410] No, I, no, it was my first gig.

[2411] So you had to?

[2412] So, no, I didn't.

[2413] So I said, what if I figure out a different way to ask?

[2414] So I found, so what I, they were like, whatever you get, we need a clip.

[2415] And this was when I was at E Entertainment.

[2416] And this is my first big shoot ever, Jennifer Aniston.

[2417] And they were like, you're going to go out there.

[2418] So it was Marley and me. So she just broke up with Brad Pitt.

[2419] So I, I go, since the movie's about a dog, I go, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the, what's the similarities between a dog and a man?

[2420] And she laughs and gives a great answer about, you know, one will be around, but a dog is always forever, you know, like men can treat you wrong.

[2421] So I got a great answer from it, and I didn't have to ask about Brad Pitt.

[2422] And that's the thing is, if you find a smart way to ask it, you can ask it, but they just sometimes want you to be just so brutal it's it's i can't well it's because they don't have to do it and they don't keep the relationships they don't care about the relationship exactly and they just don't they don't even care about you you're a little trained person that they send out a little monkey a little person listen to me little person you have to listen the person the person who's signed the paper yeah it's to send you off and give you a little fucking direction oh it's the grossest i mean it was amazing because I got to build relationships with people, but, like, good for you for recognizing it.

[2423] Oh, 100%.

[2424] I knew they were doing it.

[2425] So once you, I mean, not even that, but like, recognize you got to get out of that business.

[2426] Oh, 100%.

[2427] It's, I, I, my soul couldn't do it.

[2428] I couldn't, I couldn't ask people about them breaking up or something tragic happening in their lives.

[2429] Like, how are you doing now?

[2430] I run into some of them TMZ dudes that feel bad.

[2431] I'm like, look, bro, I feel bad too, but I'm not talking to you.

[2432] Like, there's nothing good ever comes out of these.

[2433] Like, it's no disrespect to you.

[2434] I know you're doing a job i'd probably do the same job if i was in your place i probably if i was a kid when i was a kid if tm z was around i take that job yeah what we're gonna do just try to ask some famous dude a funny question but it's just like it's it's not the way to discuss things no i discuss things and you're coming out of the airport or you're on your way to a fucking restaurant somewhere and someone sticks a camera in your face like come on well i wasn't doing that i was i was i was we were going to junk it no no we're talking about tmz yeah yeah like but i mean there's these these these Junkets are a brutal assault on reality.

[2435] You're saying the same thing over and over and over again.

[2436] You're asking the same.

[2437] Everyone asks you the same question.

[2438] So tell us about this show.

[2439] Michael, you play Michael Yo, which is your real name.

[2440] This is crazy.

[2441] Oh, by the way, write this down.

[2442] Michael Yo, Average Smoh.

[2443] That's your first comedy special.

[2444] You're going to call it Michael Yo, Average Smoh.

[2445] Michael Y' Average Smoh.

[2446] Because that's what you said when you're talking about The Rock.

[2447] He's like, I'm average Schmo.

[2448] So that would be a funny.

[2449] It would be my second.

[2450] Oh, that's right.

[2451] You already have one.

[2452] I just came out with it.

[2453] And when did it come out?

[2454] It on Amazon Prime is free.

[2455] It came out two and a half weeks ago.

[2456] Oh, nice.

[2457] It's called Blasian.

[2458] Blasian.

[2459] Because I'm black and Asian.

[2460] I get it.

[2461] Yeah.

[2462] Tiger Wood say something like that.

[2463] No, he said he's cub blasian, went on Oprah and told her she wasn't, he wasn't black.

[2464] And black people got so pissed.

[2465] Woo, that's a tough one to swallow.

[2466] Well, I tell you what's tougher is, I was a tougher is I was.

[2467] So for a job, and it's a very prominent black producer told me I wasn't black enough for the job.

[2468] So I get it.

[2469] Hold on.

[2470] There's tanning booths close by.

[2471] I'll be back in four days and you'll rock your fucking world.

[2472] Because, dude, like, if you go to, like, a tanning booth every day.

[2473] I could not get black.

[2474] I would get dark.

[2475] I would get dark.

[2476] But I wouldn't get black.

[2477] Dude, I can get dark.

[2478] You could get dark.

[2479] But not black.

[2480] You couldn't get black.

[2481] Well, what do they want?

[2482] What are they looking for?

[2483] They wanted black.

[2484] Like Wesley Snipes.

[2485] Like, yes.

[2486] No disrespect.

[2487] No disrespect.

[2488] But I guess they said, but I think it was more than just skin color.

[2489] Well, they wanted a certain, there was a certain role.

[2490] Yeah.

[2491] They wanted a, like, I don't, like when you see me, you don't think, oh, straight up black dude.

[2492] Right.

[2493] Yeah.

[2494] You know, so I. They wanted something for a world.

[2495] I mean, that's a thing, man. Look, if you're making a story and you want these characters in the story, like, say if you have some big fucking goon who terrorizes people, you can't get Kevin Hart to play that role.

[2496] It doesn't make any sense.

[2497] No. That's where the rock comes in.

[2498] Right?

[2499] He's a big giant dude.

[2500] You know what I'm saying?

[2501] Oh, I love him.

[2502] Everybody has to have, you know, that's a weird thing about acting, too.

[2503] It's like, man, you got to hope somebody has something that you would do good in.

[2504] You know, like you always hope that someone's got a project that you could slot into that project.

[2505] Yeah.

[2506] Or you just got to create your own.

[2507] Yeah.

[2508] That's true, too.

[2509] I mean, the best is Billy Bob Thornton.

[2510] That's Slingblade thing.

[2511] Yeah.

[2512] Do you know what he did with there?

[2513] No. he apparently he was like working on some movie like edit some bullshit part and some movie and uh he was like super depressed and started doing this fucking character know, what I love about comedy right now is, like, Joe Coy was my mentors, and he's blown up in comedy, you know, so I see people like you, Joe, and, you know, Bill Burr, and just Theo Vaughn, who took me out my very first time doing comedy ever.

[2514] Did it really?

[2515] Yeah, in Madison, Wisconsin, you know, at, I think it's called State on Six or Six on State.

[2516] That's the first time you ever got paid?

[2517] That's the first time I ever got paid, and he's the first person ever took me out.

[2518] And I remember we land in, he goes, you're not, you're going to see grown men eating cheese.

[2519] Like, well, like sharing bags of cheese.

[2520] In Wisconsin.

[2521] And as soon as we got off the plane, literally two men on a bench sharing a bag of cheese.

[2522] And he was like, I told you.

[2523] Like, it was very weird.

[2524] So, but it is weird, a culture of cheese in Wisconsin.

[2525] Anyway.

[2526] Yeah.

[2527] So you're making, now Theo's blown up.

[2528] Like, you're making your own path.

[2529] And I think with comedy, now is the time where people can make their own.

[2530] own path and control their own destiny and get paid really well.

[2531] I mean, just go to a comedy story and look at the parking lot now of comics.

[2532] Well, it's what it is now is you're not dependent upon networks anymore.

[2533] Yeah.

[2534] The networks that we've created or what I was like to refer to as an organic network.

[2535] Like there's a network of friends.

[2536] Like when you're talking about Bill Burr or Tom Seguer, Ari Schafeer, whoever these people are, Crystal Lee, all these like really successful popular comedians right now, Theo and so and so and so, Andrew Santino, these guys are all, we're all friends with each other.

[2537] And everyone knows.

[2538] Like if someone says, this guy's funny, you're like, well, listen to the guys who are telling you, these guys are all hilarious.

[2539] They know who the funny people are, too.

[2540] They don't talk about them and they avoid them.

[2541] And then you know who the funny people are.

[2542] And you just, it's an organic network.

[2543] There's no paperwork, but everybody helps everybody.

[2544] And one of the beautiful things about it is no one's fighting for scraps anymore.

[2545] It's not like there's TV shows and there's only like if you and me are in the audition room and we're friends but we're both auditioning for the same role like, I don't really wish you very well.

[2546] I hope you, I might fuck with you.

[2547] I'm like, dude, you're sweating?

[2548] What are you doing?

[2549] Nuk nervous?

[2550] You're okay.

[2551] This is an easy gig, right?

[2552] You're not nervous about that, right?

[2553] You're going to go in there and perform.

[2554] So you're not eating each other.

[2555] Yeah, you're not eating each other.

[2556] You're not scratching and clawing for scraps.

[2557] Everybody can support each other because first of all, there's fucking thousands of places to perform just in this country thousands and there's only a certain amount of comedians like there's plenty of room for everybody well what I love about like all you guys doing the podcast and blowing up it's Jason Siegel I used to interview him a lot when he was making movies and stuff and he said the thing about Jud Appetal is after freaks and geeks Jud basically made his own network you know James Franco and those guys and they supported each other no matter what and I see that same thing happening now and it's good with comedians like comedians are pairing up and saying this is our group and if you're funny you're funny and let's watch each other's back instead of competing is now like for you know I've only been in it nine years you know I know you've been in a lot longer but my nine years I saw at the beginning a lot of hate and now I'm seeing people like now jump on each other's podcast and actually encouraged each other and push each other which I think is a great shift for comedy right now.

[2558] Well, that's the big difference between podcasts and radio, because radio guys always hated other radio guys.

[2559] Yeah.

[2560] They always thought of other radio guys, like, I want that morning spot.

[2561] This guy's going to try to steal it from me, and he's across town.

[2562] Fuck him.

[2563] Yeah.

[2564] Podcasts don't do that.

[2565] We get on each other's podcasts, and we support each other's podcast.

[2566] It's like, there's plenty of people, man. There's this famine mentality is what fucked everybody up.

[2567] It is.

[2568] But that's what Hollywood puts out there.

[2569] You know, it's just the circumstances.

[2570] It's not like it's an organized effort to put out there this famine mentality.

[2571] It's just that there was a, like we were talking about earlier, like if you're an actor, you've got to hope somebody's got something that you fit into.

[2572] So all the other dudes that are like you, man, you're competing against them.

[2573] And then, you know, you hear fucking some James Franco type dude got the role.

[2574] You're like, of course.

[2575] He's famous.

[2576] Fuck, I can't, I'm never going to catch a break.

[2577] And this is the feeling that a lot of like really depressed actors have.

[2578] Well, it's interesting because I was up for this huge hosting gig like last year.

[2579] and looked like I was going to get it and then the night before they say oh we gave it to this bigger guy like he was a celebrity no I won't say his name no no no no no no no no no no no no make it rhyme no no no no no no no no you know me Joe I'm very safe I'm very safe Joe I'm still trying to make it like you and he got it and then my agent goes you don't sound upset I was like no because the way I'm wired is I need to get to that level where I'm getting jobs I don't deserve you know what I mean so you're saying he doesn't deserve it I see why you wouldn't say his name so you're playing it safe but you're not because he knows who he is and he's out there listening but when they say you're better than you're better in the audition to him you did this better that's what they're telling me but your agents are telling you no no no no no the casting people were telling me this and they're trying to fuck you no no no I'm positive I'm positive so when I get to that point I was just like, I reversed it.

[2580] I was like, dude, when you get to a certain level, you get shit, you don't necessarily, he probably didn't even know he was going out for the show.

[2581] They were like, hey, we got a new contract, and we heard you could do it.

[2582] You know what I mean?

[2583] Yeah, maybe.

[2584] But that's this industry.

[2585] Once you get to a certain point, you get gigs.

[2586] You start getting things.

[2587] Once your podcast blew up, you get, people send you stuff, you know, and that's how this whole thing works.

[2588] And so my mentality is, I need to get to that point where people start getting.

[2589] giving me things and that means working harder okay great working harder building my brand doing stand -up i'll do that don't ever again building my brand don't do it oh okay don't okay that's some nonsense talk that they throw around brand you're building your brand man hey dude i really love what you doing your with your brand that's like a hollywood thing that they said is it yeah yeah yeah i love what you're doing with your brand ew the fuck you know you don't think a brand is real well brands are real.

[2590] Like, uh, I'm wearing, uh, converse sneakers.

[2591] Those are real.

[2592] See, to me, when I hear, actually I'm wearing Under Armour.

[2593] Yeah.

[2594] I lied.

[2595] The rock.

[2596] You always support.

[2597] His campaigns.

[2598] My buddy campaigns sent me these.

[2599] Look at that.

[2600] I wear them.

[2601] They're nice.

[2602] Wait a minute.

[2603] I like them.

[2604] No, no, no, no. But, but like what I, your podcast is a brand.

[2605] I don't think of it that way.

[2606] Really?

[2607] Well, but it is.

[2608] Well, what do you think about or not?

[2609] But he was saying?

[2610] Joe Rogan experience is a brand.

[2611] But building my brand, like literally, there's zero thought of that.

[2612] Okay, gotcha.

[2613] You know?

[2614] You're just doing you.

[2615] I just do what I want to do.

[2616] Hey man, just be yourself.

[2617] You can just be yourself.

[2618] It's possible.

[2619] I am absolutely just doing that.

[2620] You know, I'm just really lucky that there's a slot, right?

[2621] Like, that I have interests that are like, I can, like, like, the fact that I do stand -up comedy and I also do cage -fighting commentary.

[2622] Yeah.

[2623] Like, that's not supposed to exist, right?

[2624] But you created it.

[2625] But it exists because there's a slot.

[2626] I got lucky that there was a slot there.

[2627] you know that this exists this sport exists and i have an understanding of it and i i a deep appreciation for it and then the comedy exists too and then i like that too like you don't have to do comedy nobody has to do comedy but for me it's like oh like you could do that but isn't it amazing like when like what i'll be honest with you when i came on the show i was like oh my god this is such a big show it's a huge show people get nervous i talked to a lot of people that come on the first time people get nervous coming to the show but that's why we got all that booze over there.

[2628] But what's amazing is, do you ever think about, like, if somebody's on your show literally, whatever they're selling, or, like, you'll get somebody on this show that becomes a regular, and now they're selling out all across the country.

[2629] And that's pretty amazing, the power of that you hold, you know what I mean?

[2630] Which is great, which is great, which blows me away that, you know, like the last time I saw that, I remember, you know, I was at Chelsea lately at the beginning of it.

[2631] And when that show was at its peak, I say Chelsea lately, Chelsea Handler.

[2632] was the American Idol of comedy.

[2633] If you were on that show, I didn't even do stand -up.

[2634] Like, literally, I was three months in.

[2635] I would bring five comedians and do, like, 15 minutes in between everybody and sell out shows because I was on that show.

[2636] That's how much power.

[2637] Like, she brought comedians that were retired back.

[2638] And that was the first time I saw, like, one show could be so powerful in a niche audience where if you love comedy, you're going to sell out a. all these people's shows while it's hot.

[2639] And now it seems like this show is that, like, comedians come on here.

[2640] And they're just selling out all over the place.

[2641] And that's a tribute to you, man, and your audience, how they're so passionate about you.

[2642] And I'm not here to kiss your ass, but I just not, not bullshitting people and not having people on that suck.

[2643] Yeah.

[2644] Like, doing your bad, like, I try to go after, like, to get guys on, like, guys that I don't know, I hear about them.

[2645] You know, like Andrew Schultz or Tim Dillon, I hear about these guys from New York.

[2646] And people tell me, hey, you got to see this guy.

[2647] This guy's fucking funny.

[2648] Joe List, a lot of people told me, get these guys on.

[2649] And, you know, look, I'm a, whatever I can do to support comedy.

[2650] I'm a fan.

[2651] I'm a fan of comedy.

[2652] I love it.

[2653] Even if I was never doing it, even if I've decided right now, I don't ever want to tell jokes on stage ever again.

[2654] I will always watch.

[2655] I love it.

[2656] I love stand -up.

[2657] I'll always love stand -up.

[2658] So if I can do something to help stand -up and helps comedians be successful, and it helps encourage more people to try it because I think there's thousands and thousands of just unexplored stand -ups across the country.

[2659] They just never take a chance, never do it, never have anybody encourage them, never think about doing it.

[2660] Have you ever been on state?

[2661] I think it's a superpower.

[2662] I really do because your senses are so high.

[2663] I've never been in a situation where when you're on stage, you're saying your act, you're thinking about something else, you're hearing conversations.

[2664] Like you're hearing a waitress take an order and you're noticing what people are doing like it's almost like an out of body experience like i in i can't think of any other normal time throughout the day that would ever happen where it's pretty amazing what your mind can do when you're on stage but you have to train it oh yeah i mean that's one of the reasons why i have to do so much stand -up yeah like even for me after 30 years of doing it i still have to do stand -up four days a week i do stand -up four days If I don't do stand -up four days or if I take a week off, that's fine.

[2665] Nothing wrong with a week.

[2666] I'll take a month off.

[2667] Nothing wrong with that.

[2668] But understand that when it's time to roll again, we're going four days a week.

[2669] We're going to do two, three shows a night.

[2670] You're going to go Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or you're going to do Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

[2671] That's what you're doing.

[2672] And that's the only way to do it.

[2673] Because if you don't do it that way and you don't do three sets a night, two sets a night, four sets of night.

[2674] If you don't do that, you never stay.

[2675] You've got to get laser beam sharp.

[2676] And the only way to get that that honed, fucking samurai sword edge, you've got to constantly be doing it.

[2677] It's you, that thing that you're doing where you're talking about hearing all these things, but concentrating on what you're saying and being in the moment, which is the most critical, because they know when you're not in the moment.

[2678] They somehow another know when you're, you could say the same words or the same inflection, and it won't work.

[2679] Oh, that's what's amazing about it, though.

[2680] That's what I love about it.

[2681] They know, they know.

[2682] I love how you could do two sets in a night.

[2683] and get a totally different reaction.

[2684] It's so exciting.

[2685] I was talking to Darnel Rollins.

[2686] He was like, he was talking about one night, he had a great set, and the next one he didn't have too good of a set.

[2687] He says, I went to a grocery store and got on the mic just to get a laugh.

[2688] I just needed to.

[2689] He's like, I need to get on the mic.

[2690] I needed to get one laugh because you can't go to bed on a bad show.

[2691] Donnell is amazing on podcasts.

[2692] I try to talk him into doing a podcast.

[2693] Oh, he would be so good.

[2694] He's starting it.

[2695] He's already got a logo.

[2696] he's got it, he calls it too soon with Donna Rawls because half his shit he's too soon.

[2697] He's too soon.

[2698] He is so funny man. He's so funny.

[2699] He's such a character.

[2700] He's such a good dude too.

[2701] Just like a good dude.

[2702] You know who's who's a person that I know you're so established now and you got your crowd but who's a person that like after they go on you're like oh shit I got to bring it.

[2703] Is that still that for you?

[2704] Because your crowd is so I think about it with everybody but I don't think about it in terms like oh shit.

[2705] I like comedy.

[2706] This is the key to following people.

[2707] Like comedy.

[2708] Enjoy it.

[2709] Go on stage happy.

[2710] Like you're laughing and then do your stuff because you're working on it anyway.

[2711] It's good, right?

[2712] If you take enough time and enough effort and enough care on your craft and put together an act that's good, the people are going to enjoy it.

[2713] So don't worry.

[2714] Enjoy, like if you, like, that's why I brought Joey Diaz on the road with me for so many years.

[2715] Because I knew that he was just going to erupt that place.

[2716] And by the way, but when I went on stage, they were already already in a great mood.

[2717] They're all laughing.

[2718] They're laughing hard.

[2719] That's the key is just everybody should have a good time, man. Everybody, including your opening act in the middle act.

[2720] You want murderers to go on in front of you.

[2721] Absolutely.

[2722] You know, like the comics I bring aren't as well known yet, but Leo Flowers, Nick Garrier, Orlando Labo.

[2723] But I tell you, any room they crush, they crush in.

[2724] There's only one way for great comics to get great.

[2725] It's like playing on a good basketball time.

[2726] They got to see them.

[2727] Absolutely.

[2728] There's a lot of guys out there that people just haven't seen, but they're good.

[2729] And I love coming in after energy.

[2730] What about the first time you went after a big comic when you were first starting and you did well?

[2731] And it kind of blew you away.

[2732] I don't even know when that happened.

[2733] I ate shit for so many years.

[2734] That's all I remember.

[2735] Yeah.

[2736] I remember eating shit after everyone good.

[2737] I didn't have one good set for like, Mitzie used to set me up too.

[2738] She would do it on purpose.

[2739] She would put you like when I was in my 20s.

[2740] I was young little cutie face And I would go on after fucking murderers Like Martin Lawrence when he was in his prime Dude when he was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage And leather shirts Merk in the room I mean murk in the room Where people are falling out of chairs And throwing drinks at each other They couldn't handle it Martin Lawrence was an assassin It was like church He was an assassin man I'm telling you people forgot how good he was For a few years There was a few years where Martin Lawrence was nuke and crowds just like boom Yeah And I would get on after him And literally people would just three quarters of the audience Would get up and walk When he was off, they were done They were done, they were ready to go home They were crying They were holding their body like oh Jesus And then I would get on say some nonsense And we're like, let's get the fuck out of it Let's go eat and they would just leave And that was the reality of my time At the Comedy Store Where Mitsy would, she wanted you to know You ain't shit Don't get crazy And you got to figure out How the fuck can you go on After all these murderers Well when did you figure it out It took a long time Yeah I don't know When I came here I was only six years into comedy So I really I didn't have any seasoning I was really like a scrub You know I was like I had some material I had like I could do an hour On the road But it was half it was bullshit Yeah I was trying to figure it up I had a few good bits But they weren't good enough And I didn't have the confidence To go on after a Martin Lawrence Or a dice clay Or anybody who was really good You know, anybody who was really famous, I would get nervous, like, Jesus, you know.

[2741] But that's, that, but through that, I figured out a way to do it.

[2742] You know, I figured out a way, like, okay, I have to figure out a way to grab people and let them know that I know the situation.

[2743] Like, oh, this unknown fucking loser has to follow Martin Lawrence.

[2744] What a thrill.

[2745] What a thrill for me, watching everybody get up.

[2746] And so I developed material for, like, bombing, like inevitable bombing and recognizing the bombing and addressing it with all the rest of the audience.

[2747] And then people started laughing.

[2748] You know, like, I had a follow Pryor for five weeks in a row when he was...

[2749] At the comedy store?

[2750] At the comedy store?

[2751] Oh, my God.

[2752] When he was really sick.

[2753] And the late great Marilyn Martinez, her husband and Chewy, who was the door guy at the comedy, used to help Richard Pryor to the stage, and it would take forever.

[2754] Because they would walk him, because, you know, losing control of his body.

[2755] And they sat him down.

[2756] They would crank the microphone.

[2757] up to like as loud as it goes so it was like he would hear the feedback and he would drink what you probably wasn't supposed to be doing because he was on medication just drinking and just just talking and a lot of it was really sad because you realize like wow this is the greatest comic of our time I mean yeah he's on the wall here in the studio yeah I mean he's uh if he's not the greatest ever he's certainly in the conversation it's like who's the greatest I don't know but there's a handful of like it's super important pioneers there's Lenny Bruce And there's Richard Pryor.

[2758] Those are the two top, in my opinion.

[2759] Those are the ones that are the most important for the art form.

[2760] And this is obviously George Carlin and Kinnison and go down the line.

[2761] And Eddie Murphy, who we're talking about before the show too, still this day, I think it was one of the all -time great.

[2762] Well, I was telling you before, I got a chance to talk to Eddie like two years ago.

[2763] He came out with a serious movie, more dramatic.

[2764] I forgot the name of it, but it was really good.

[2765] And I asked him, you know, being a comment, I was like, why haven't you shot another special?

[2766] and he goes, I have to put too much of my personal life in it, and I'm not ready to do that yet.

[2767] And it kind of hit me where, you know, if you go back and listen to his comedy, he talked about his real life.

[2768] He talked about his parents.

[2769] He did a lot of what Richard Pryor did.

[2770] You know, he's very personal.

[2771] And you got to remember, Eddie Murphy, a lot's gone on in his life over the last 15, 20 years.

[2772] And I think if he didn't address things when he hit the stage, people go, why didn't he talk about that?

[2773] Yeah.

[2774] Where Chris Rock and Kevin Hart, they will address whatever stories out about them and go full steam ahead.

[2775] And I think Eddie Murphy probably respects the craft too much where he's like, I can't do it halfway.

[2776] If I'm not going to do 100%, I'm not going to do it.

[2777] That's what I took from that conversation from him.

[2778] That makes sense.

[2779] And also, just think about it.

[2780] He has two of the best specials probably ever made back.

[2781] Like the two biggest where everybody still knows, good and Google.

[2782] Like, people still can say, like, that's a fire.

[2783] Now that's a fire.

[2784] You know, like, people still quote those two.

[2785] Norton.

[2786] I don't know it at you.

[2787] Yeah.

[2788] Look, he's an all -time great, even if he never does a joke again.

[2789] But he still got it.

[2790] That's what's crazy.

[2791] A hundred percent he got it.

[2792] Did you ever see that thing that he did where he was roasting Bill Cosby when they took away his honorary degree?

[2793] Yes.

[2794] Dude, his timing was sharp.

[2795] Like, you were like, oh, my God, he could go do stand -up right now.

[2796] But the pressure of that.

[2797] Because he has two specials.

[2798] It's kind of like I compared to Dr. Dre.

[2799] After Dr. Dre made the chronic day, I always said, oh, he's going to come out with another one and then it got to a point where how do you back up I mean the greatness of those two specials I mean it's a lot to live up to not saying he ever couldn't but people are always going to say man you remember delirious and raw I wish he was like that you know and I think that's the fear I mean maybe I mean you can make that argument about a lot of guys that did keep going you know you can make that argument argument about a lot of guys but those guys that those guys that kept going have a delirious of raw you know like two that were that like I remember first time going to a movie theater to see a stand -up comedy special two times delirious and raw like who does that kevin hart does it but like that's your that was my first oh my god eddie murphy yeah on the big screen and those are locked in the history of time people are going to know those two stand -up specials for raw for sure delirious i think was on hbo wasn't it i don't remember was ral i think delirious was on hbo i think it was an hbo special all i remember And I think Raw was in the movies.

[2800] Raw, okay.

[2801] So, Raw was in the movies, but it's a kid like me going to the movies to see it.

[2802] And he was so big at the time.

[2803] And just to follow those up.

[2804] That might have been part of the problem with him, too.

[2805] He might have got too big.

[2806] That happens to certain comedians.

[2807] Like, that happened to Steve Martin.

[2808] Yeah.

[2809] You know, Steve Martin talked about that.

[2810] Uh -huh.

[2811] I mean, I don't think either one of us is ever going to understand how famous Eddie Murphy is.

[2812] Like, what it's like to be Eddie Murphy.

[2813] At that time?

[2814] No. I mean, come on now, man. People see him and they get weirded out.

[2815] I got weirded out when I met him.

[2816] They put it in theaters four years after they're at an HBO.

[2817] Delirious?

[2818] Yeah, so it was an HBO special.

[2819] Dice Clay had an HBO or a movie theater film.

[2820] He did a...

[2821] I'm sorry.

[2822] I misread that.

[2823] Oh, did it?

[2824] Dice Clay had a movie theater one.

[2825] Gabriel Glacis has done one that's been in the movies.

[2826] Of course, Kevin Hart has.

[2827] There's been a few guys have done them in the movies.

[2828] But, yeah.

[2829] But I remember, like, you know, Kevin Hart's great everybody but I for some reason maybe because I was a kid I was so big to me but to me it was like an event yeah you know I'm older now I'll go to see Kevin Hart in a movie theater but when I was a kid stand up was an event I want to like like that yeah because you're you're hearing curse words and you know you're hearing all these you're to this day still reciting stuff from and that's a lot of comedy specials you don't know the words 30 years later yeah well I The first special I ever saw, for sure, was Richard Pryor, live in the Sunsets Trill.

[2830] My parents took me to see it.

[2831] You were there?

[2832] Yeah.

[2833] No, no, no, no. Watching it in the movie theater.

[2834] Oh, okay, okay.

[2835] No, I was watching it in the movie theater.

[2836] My parents took me. And I couldn't believe it.

[2837] Like, I had never seen anything that funny.

[2838] I couldn't imagine it.

[2839] It's so hard today for anyone to understand what it was like to hear that stuff back in, what I was it?

[2840] 79 or something shit?

[2841] When was live on the Sunset's trip?

[2842] Dude, that bear joke.

[2843] How about the fire?

[2844] Fire is inspirational.

[2845] I mean, go on.

[2846] He was doing jokes about burning himself and we were crying laughing.

[2847] Same years delirious.

[2848] What year is it?

[2849] Released in 83.

[2850] Was it really?

[2851] Yeah.

[2852] Live in the Sunset trip was 83.

[2853] Taped in 82 release.

[2854] Okay, so I was 13.

[2855] That makes sense.

[2856] He had to tape it twice.

[2857] No, I wasn't 13.

[2858] You know, it was like 16, what it was like, 84, 85, 15, 15, 15, 15, I was 15 years old.

[2859] Let's see, I was, I was nine.

[2860] So I saw, I saw both of those movies.

[2861] And I remember, I remember Richard Pryor.

[2862] I was like, wow, Eddie and Richard, like, you could tell Eddie studied Richard because they had the same mannerisms.

[2863] They had a couple of the same jokes, too, just in a different way.

[2864] You know what I mean?

[2865] So it was kind of a thing where I fell in love with Richard Pryor, because that was my first.

[2866] but I was nine, you know, and I saw Sunset Strip, and then I saw the documentary where he had to shoot it two nights in a row.

[2867] The first night, he bombed, and he told everybody to come back the next night, and that's the one they shot.

[2868] Yeah, he shot at two nights in a row.

[2869] First one, he apologized to the crowd.

[2870] It wasn't going well.

[2871] And the second night, he said, y 'all need to come back, and we're going to try this again.

[2872] And so...

[2873] Why would he want the same crowd?

[2874] Because he felt like he did a disservice to them.

[2875] But what, that's so weird.

[2876] They're going to hear the jokes.

[2877] saying yes and he murdered 100 % it's in his documentary you don't believe it I believe it I mean that's what was in the documentary yeah but a comic wouldn't want the same crowd to come back well he's the same material unless he stopped it short well no he didn't finish the show he didn't what was wrong with him he said he was just off like he was him it was him and he goes in and they were talking about the first like 15 minutes of the set or 20 minutes of the set did not go well and he just stopped it and said look i'm not bringing it tonight it's off y 'all come back tomorrow night jesus christ and they kept the cameras and they shot it the next night and that's and that's what you have in 19 so in 1983 i was either 14 or 15 and yeah here it is here is sorry i came out 82 this this was 82 so it was released in australian 83 okay so it was 82 that means i was 14 yeah i was eight yeah i was either 14 or 15 which makes sense documentary this is a fun fact.

[2878] I definitely know it was pre -pussy for me. Prior, I lost his train of thought and forgot most of his material.

[2879] He apologized to the audience and ended the show early, leaving the audience angry.

[2880] Prior pulled himself together and gave a much better performance the next night.

[2881] Most of the footage in the film was from the second performance.

[2882] Completely messed up his performance during the first filming of the show.

[2883] Yeah, but that doesn't say he brought the same audience back.

[2884] Well, in the documentary he said, well, because he was only one show.

[2885] What do you mean?

[2886] They didn't shoot two shows specials.

[2887] Like, they only taped one night.

[2888] Well, he said they filmed one, and then they filmed it again.

[2889] Yeah, he filmed it again the next night.

[2890] Right.

[2891] So that crowd, I mean, how are you going to?

[2892] They get a crowd.

[2893] He can get a crowd anywhere.

[2894] In the documentary, it said he used the same crowd.

[2895] He told everybody, because he felt so bad that he, like, he cared.

[2896] That's crazy, though, that he just stopped the show.

[2897] He stopped the show.

[2898] It's like, I'm not on.

[2899] It's so strange.

[2900] Yeah.

[2901] And he brought, what the documentary says, he brought the same crowd back the next night, and he murdered it.

[2902] And that's what you saw.

[2903] Yeah.

[2904] Wow.

[2905] And I still remember that.

[2906] I mean, those two, like, raw, delirious and the Sunset Strip live from, forever it will stand out in my mind.

[2907] It's just amazing.

[2908] And then like Bill Burr special, the black and white one, it's like incredible, incredible, you know?

[2909] And I just, I love watching comedy of people with jokes that I know I never could do.

[2910] Like, that's my whole thing.

[2911] You know, I don't like watching, because I'm a family comedian.

[2912] So I never watched like family what does that mean to me i talk about family most of the time like you're you're i don't i don't curse that much how often you curse in an hour show twice maybe what what words you use shit yeah you ever say fuck no no no no but i don't curse in real like this freaking this freaking guy do you ever say that no don't say fricking whatever you do that's it's more offensive to me than fuck yeah oh no i just this freaking guy it's not in I'm sure I curse a couple of times in this pod, but I don't, it's not in my normal conversation.

[2913] Like, even when I'm hanging out with my dudes, I don't really curse that much.

[2914] Hmm.

[2915] I don't know.

[2916] And I'm sensitive.

[2917] It's a lot going on.

[2918] And I'm sensitive.

[2919] I'm serious.

[2920] I have my kid.

[2921] I'm so sensitive, man. I don't know.

[2922] Did you change?

[2923] Oh, yeah.

[2924] Yeah, it changes the shit out of you.

[2925] Well, see.

[2926] It's a biological change.

[2927] It's also like, you had girls?

[2928] Yeah, all girls.

[2929] It's also, it's a recognition change.

[2930] Like you kind of understand life in a different perspective that I don't know if it's really available to you if you don't have children.

[2931] I don't think it is.

[2932] I just think it's, I don't think everybody has to have kids.

[2933] I'm not one of those zealots that says, if you don't have kids, you ain't shit.

[2934] I don't, I think that's offensive.

[2935] I don't think that's what life's all about.

[2936] I think you can affect people in a very meaningful way, never have kids.

[2937] And there's nothing wrong with that.

[2938] But I think for me, at least, for being the caveman that I am, it's like, it was very, very important for me to see these little girls grow up and become, you know, human beings that are interfacing with the world and getting an understanding of what that means and like realizing that if you can do just a little bit to make the world a slightly better place, that could greatly affect all the people that your own children will come in contact with as well.

[2939] And they can actually affect other people and have those other people treat the world in a different way and treat people with more respect and be nicer to people.

[2940] And we could have a better world for everybody.

[2941] Well, your kids, my kids, everybody's kids.

[2942] The thing that struck me right away, as soon as my son was born, is I've never had the feeling of you, I would, as soon as I would die for him.

[2943] Like, as soon as I met him, you know, I would die for, as soon as he touched me. It's like a goddamn print song.

[2944] You know, I would Taft for you But it's like To you Princess Chris Gone too soon Yeah, what about that guy, man?

[2945] You want to talk about a super powerful Fucking entertainer One of a kind human being I remember I was a kid I was delivering newspapers I was driving around And I was I listened to out of cassette Of I want to be your lover Which is like his first big hit And I was like holy shit listen to this guy like listen to this guy and the cover is just him with his long hair with no shirt on looking beautiful and the cover what is he like what is going on here and i was almost you know because i was like fucking 18 or something i was almost like turned off by the cover that's it right there oh yeah i was like this is just i'm not buying this he's just too beautiful he's he's dreamy look that goddamn mustache i'm having weird feelings right now and then i listen to, I would, you know, I mean, I listened to, I want to be your lover.

[2946] And I was like, God damn, what an unusual dude.

[2947] Did you see Purple Rain?

[2948] I'm sure you did.

[2949] Of course.

[2950] Like, that whole Morris Day, Apollonia.

[2951] Like, that was a B -Prince.

[2952] I bought, I bought a overcoat.

[2953] Just to wear a long overcoat.

[2954] So that some prince would wear.

[2955] Were you too old for the Michael Jackson thing?

[2956] The, the, I had the thriller jacket.

[2957] No, I didn't wear that.

[2958] I thought it was, I thought the Michael Jackson thing was interesting because I thought he's obviously a stunning, incredibly talented performer, but he was so weird and so unrelatable in every way.

[2959] Like so oddly feminine and childlike, even though he's in his 30s, it was baffling to me. I was like, I get that he's super talented.

[2960] And then when the plastic surgery started happening, his face started changing and morphing, I'm like, this is just strange.

[2961] Did you ever see either one in concert?

[2962] No, no, I never saw Michael Jackson or Prince.

[2963] I saw Prince.

[2964] That was an amazing show.

[2965] I had an opportunity to see Prince at the hard rock cafe and I blew it the hard rock in Vegas and I blew it I should have seen him I never thought he's gonna die yeah and that's the I'm seeing everybody now yeah you should like I Tom Petty's another one I never saw Tom Petty yeah I went to one of those print shows at the palladium like four years ago he did a random seven nights there wasn't anybody there there was maybe 500 people there really the whole floor was empty I don't know if why I don't know if nobody knew or something they didn't announce it at the right time it didn't make it to Twitter, whatever.

[2966] I only heard because my friend worked there.

[2967] I only that's the only reason I knew about it.

[2968] Well, I think when we're looking at Prince now, we're looking at Prince as like a dead legend.

[2969] I mean, he's a legend that's gone.

[2970] And we think of him as like, God damn it, he was so good.

[2971] He had so many great songs.

[2972] But I think back then, people thought of him as an older guy that they didn't really care as much about anymore, who hasn't put out relatively popular music for quite a while.

[2973] He turned into an artist.

[2974] I guess they could say where the music was just for himself and he wasn't really Nothing new.

[2975] Yeah, right?

[2976] It wasn't any new smash hits.

[2977] It's like there's some guys, right, that, like one of the things that keeps Kanye West relevant is that he's constantly putting out music.

[2978] He constantly puts out stuff that people love.

[2979] He constantly puts out stuff that smashes.

[2980] And some guys lose their enthusiasm for productivity.

[2981] Yeah.

[2982] For being prolific.

[2983] They lose that.

[2984] And then they don't put out stuff anymore.

[2985] and then they become like Rod Stewart.

[2986] Like Rod Stewart.

[2987] I'd like to see Rod Stewart.

[2988] I'm a giant Rod Stewart fan.

[2989] Like when Maggie May comes on the radio, I get excited.

[2990] I love that goddamn song.

[2991] I love a lot of his music.

[2992] He was, but how many tickets will he sell right now?

[2993] You know what I'm saying?

[2994] Will he sell out the Staples Center?

[2995] I don't think he will.

[2996] You know, when you, I know you're still working on Kanye coming on the show and things like.

[2997] I'm not even.

[2998] I mean, I would if he wants to do it, but I don't want to put any pressure on anybody.

[2999] Absolutely.

[3000] And I don't necessarily know the podcast.

[3001] for the best place for someone for everybody.

[3002] It might not be the best place to just talk about shit.

[3003] Maybe it's better to just do music.

[3004] Did you get to talk to him at least on the phone?

[3005] Yeah, talk to him.

[3006] Very nice guy.

[3007] Let me tell you, man, he is so opposite his persona, like, on the outside, like, that you see in, like, in gossip magazines and on TV.

[3008] I used to host his Donda West Foundation event in Chicago.

[3009] And a lot of people don't know the good he did in Chicago.

[3010] If they had perfect attendance, he would go there every year.

[3011] throw a huge concert, bringing like a common and all different type of Chicago artists, he would bus everybody in from all over the city and throw a free concert for all these kids that had perfect attendance.

[3012] And it was good to interview him that way because he's at that time, at that time when his mom was still alive, he was such a down, down -to -earth, humble guy.

[3013] And actually shy and shy.

[3014] Like, he was really shy.

[3015] So when, and this was at the time I would see stories about him.

[3016] yelling at Sway, you know, and I'm like, this is not the dude that I interviewed.

[3017] He's volatile.

[3018] He goes all over the place.

[3019] Yeah.

[3020] That's part of why he's such an explosive artist.

[3021] Oh, he's incredible.

[3022] Incredible.

[3023] Those guys, the people who think different, remember that stupid Apple ad think different.

[3024] Yeah.

[3025] There's people that really do think different.

[3026] Mm -hmm.

[3027] Differently.

[3028] That's one of the problems with that Apple ad.

[3029] It's an incorrect grammar.

[3030] But there's people out there that just have a different vibe.

[3031] They're on a different frequency.

[3032] They're a different wavelength.

[3033] And they're the ones who create great shit, man. He has a gift.

[3034] I mean, he is, you know, a lot of people outside go, oh, he's out there.

[3035] He's definitely out there too, though.

[3036] He's out there too, yeah.

[3037] Yeah.

[3038] But he's a genius.

[3039] Yeah.

[3040] He is a genius.

[3041] He's doing something in a different way.

[3042] And that's, uh, that moves our culture along.

[3043] That's what, it's like, that's what, when you're doing stand up, right?

[3044] Like, if you're, if you're nailing something, if you really lock down something and boom, you put out live on the sunset trip or a delirious or something like that you're changing culture you're making people people are going to spread out in these ripples they're going to go to their job in the morning they're like we saw Michael yo holy shit he does this joke about his cat and whatever the fuck it is whatever the joke is and people be crying laughing and there's ripples to that it's positive ripples you change things it's amazing that like when you do stand up like what I love about it is when I was just a host doing the entertainment shows I would go into castings and I go oh you're a host go ahead now being a comedian it's the most I will say that it's the most respected thing in our industry like I was on the most balls yeah I was on the set of modern family when the show was huge and the actors were like oh my God you do stand up how do you do that and they're on the biggest television show at that time modern family even actors respected so how castings have changed I go in now they go oh we saw you at the improv we saw you here or there and you can host this is a amazing.

[3045] You know, so just the respect you get from doing good comedy, you know, it's better to me than a Taylor Swift on stage because she has a whole band.

[3046] She's having a bad night.

[3047] She can kind of like lip -sync her songs.

[3048] They have a back track.

[3049] I just saw a quote.

[3050] It says Michael Yo says he's better than Taylor Swift and all she does is lip -sink.

[3051] God damn him.

[3052] You know, when he was on E, he respected her and now that he's gone, he's flip -flopping.

[3053] He's flipped.

[3054] He's flipped.

[3055] We've got to wrap this up, dude.

[3056] We already hit three hours.

[3057] Isn't that crazy?

[3058] Stop it.

[3059] It's three o 'clock.

[3060] Dude.

[3061] What the fuck?

[3062] Three hours?

[3063] Three o 'clock, bro.

[3064] No way.

[3065] It's three o 'clock.

[3066] God damn time warp in this room.

[3067] Michael Yo, that was a lot of fun, brother.

[3068] We'll do this again.

[3069] Thank you, my friend.

[3070] Oh, tell people how to find you on Instagram, Twitter.

[3071] Everything at Michael Yo, that's YO.

[3072] And my special is streaming free on Amazon Prime.

[3073] Right now.

[3074] Right now.

[3075] Go to it.

[3076] Everybody's got Prime.

[3077] Yeah, everybody's got Prime.

[3078] Check it out, man. I would appreciate it.

[3079] Thank you, my friend.

[3080] It was fun.

[3081] I'm glad we did this.

[3082] Dude, me too, man. Michael Yo, folks!