142 - Live at the Durham Performing Arts Center

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Shit, I almost choked on my mint.

[17] Karen has his habit of putting a mint in as she walks.

[18] like out the green room and I was like I'll do it too no it's a huge mistake because it's still in my mouth I forgot to tell you I call it the mint challenge the mint challenge you have to finish your mint before you start talking it's really hard because a lot of mints are very solid and they're very spicy it's kind of like life you know it's a metaphor for you know it's crazy you guys listen when they said where do you guys want to kick off your fall 2018 tour, we said we said is there a place that's like hip and cool but also has a lot of natural disasters?

[19] We want a little over the radar, a little under the radar, we want there to be radars, surrounding.

[20] I actually I can't ever bring myself to leave my hotel room when we're on tour, but if I did, what I really wanted to do was go out and buy huge galoshes and wear them on stage.

[21] Too soon?

[22] No way.

[23] Perhaps three minutes late.

[24] People are like, it didn't really affect us here.

[25] This comedy doesn't matter to us at all.

[26] Don't group us in.

[27] It affected her.

[28] Scream if you barely made it here tonight.

[29] But not just because you were tired and didn't want to get out.

[30] There we go.

[31] We should have both started screaming.

[32] Vince and I went for a walk and we got.

[33] into town yesterday and I have never been, I have never met so many murderinos in like three block radius.

[34] Yeah, represent.

[35] Oh, lovely.

[36] That's cool.

[37] When gal was like, come to my restaurant tonight and I was like, that's how you talk to me. That's what I'm looking for.

[38] That's all I want in life is to be invited to restaurants.

[39] That's funny.

[40] You know what I did is I saw the stores, the really cool stores that we passed as we drove into town, and then I shopped at them online.

[41] Are you serious?

[42] Yes.

[43] There was one store, Georgia, like, we have to go there.

[44] And then I was like, I'm not fucking going there.

[45] And then I looked up, oh, my God, what wonderful pieces they had.

[46] Everything cost $500 fucking dollars.

[47] Is this a Ritchie Richtown and we just don't realize it?

[48] No. Okay, then how does Vert and Vertical stay in business?

[49] Because everything there was five $700, and I was going to buy it, too.

[50] I won't go in a store that has on the mannequins, linen, like, what it's like lineny and it looks not super form fitted, which in my mind is like, well, not a lot of work went into this then.

[51] Then it's like, no, this is the most expensive, like, hand -died linen.

[52] It's like, we imported it from the other side of Durham, and so there's a $400 linen tax on it.

[53] And you were going to get something new because you, we thought it would be cold here.

[54] Yes.

[55] And we didn't know.

[56] See, laugh at us.

[57] On the news, where I'm from on the news, where George and I live on the news, it seems to be very cold and wintery and stormy here.

[58] So I was like, see, we know earthquakes.

[59] I know an earthquake.

[60] You know what I mean?

[61] But we don't know hurricanes.

[62] No. It's not, that's not our speciality.

[63] So I was like, well...

[64] So we see rain and we're like, that's cold.

[65] Fucking no, not kidding.

[66] Not on the new Earth.

[67] Earth version 2.

[68] It's fucking hot hurricane time, everybody.

[69] Donate to Greenpeace.

[70] We're fucked.

[71] It's for real.

[72] That's no joke.

[73] No, it's not a joke, but it's so funny.

[74] Anyway.

[75] Speaking of this.

[76] is my favorite murder of the podcast.

[77] Oh yes.

[78] Hello.

[79] This is Georgia Heart's Dark.

[80] Hands are sticky.

[81] Your hands are a little clammy, I would say.

[82] You know what I did?

[83] It's along with the Mint Challenge, I like to do the throw on some nail polish two minutes before you walk challenge.

[84] Right?

[85] And then you're like, then immediately I'm like, oh, I need something at the bottom of my purse.

[86] You know what I did?

[87] I painted my nails a little or like sooner.

[88] I was like, I got this.

[89] I'm not going to freak out.

[90] And then I put my hands through my hair.

[91] So now I have nail polish here.

[92] There's nail polish on my story.

[93] Sure.

[94] That's not blood.

[95] And there's probably nail polish in my hair.

[96] A little bit.

[97] You have a light ombre.

[98] It's cool.

[99] We're going to bring it back.

[100] That's right.

[101] Oh, my baby cousin is here.

[102] Oh, yeah.

[103] You're not her.

[104] Don't raise your hand.

[105] Maybe she knows her.

[106] She's not a baby, though.

[107] Don't worry.

[108] She's 19.

[109] But what has she had on the, like, baby headphones?

[110] still.

[111] And her friend lifted her over his head.

[112] She's here.

[113] She's right here.

[114] She loves your work.

[115] I love it when my, my, like, my cousins will come out because, like, it's, you know, she's in college here and everything.

[116] And so then she goes back and tells my family, like, George is not a loser.

[117] She's a big, and she came back, she's like, people have your face on their shirts.

[118] That's right.

[119] I don't think she's ever listened to the podcast.

[120] You're like, could you call my mom and tell her, please.

[121] And I'm a success.

[122] Oh.

[123] Don't include the crying and the call.

[124] Can I tell you, speaking of my parents?

[125] Yes.

[126] Do you want to know what my dad did?

[127] Yes.

[128] And why he's just lost his house watching privileges?

[129] Uh -oh.

[130] That was fast.

[131] We've been gone for a day.

[132] Every time my dad, sometimes my dad will watch the house.

[133] Sometimes Stephen will.

[134] Stephen's actually taking over tomorrow.

[135] Thank fucking God.

[136] Not because I'm kicking my dad out.

[137] Stephen!

[138] He's not here.

[139] So he always, like, my dad will break something always whenever he stays.

[140] Like, that's the price you pay, which is you don't pay a price because you don't pay him.

[141] You put all your good stuff way up high on the high shelves so Marty can't get to it.

[142] Yeah, and he'll leave it out with like a note that's like, sorry, I broke this.

[143] I don't know how to use mugs.

[144] Marty.

[145] Put your fingers through that handle part and, well, forget it.

[146] Just break it.

[147] Don't try to explain.

[148] Just break it.

[149] So Elvis gets these pill pockets with his heart meds in them, and they are, like, cute little pill pockets.

[150] But what's a pill pocket?

[151] For all the people who are not, don't know cat shit.

[152] It's a cat treat with a hole in it that you pay a shit ton of money for just a fucking cat treat with a hole in it.

[153] And then you put the pill, because cats are like, Jesus, have you ever tried to pill a cat?

[154] It's, nothing has ever stressed you out more in your life than fucking opening the jaws of cats.

[155] and dramming a pill in there.

[156] Have you ever opened his jaw too wide?

[157] Like a boa constrictor, it just detaches and comes apart.

[158] You're never watching the cats.

[159] That's right.

[160] We make all his pills for the weekend, and we're like, okay, give him one a day, Dad.

[161] Like, we put him in a drawer, because Elvis, I guess my dad doesn't know this, is fucking insane, and he's knocked a sandwich out of someone's hand before to get to it.

[162] No fucking joke.

[163] I love that guy.

[164] Right.

[165] He's out of his mind, so you have to, like, hide the pill pockets, or he'll eat them.

[166] He'll open the bag with his teeth and eat all the pill pockets.

[167] Guess what?

[168] Uh -oh.

[169] My dad left the pill pockets on the counter.

[170] He ate them all.

[171] He's fine.

[172] Everything's fine.

[173] How many days worth of?

[174] Three.

[175] Oh, shit.

[176] He's fine.

[177] I've talked to the vet.

[178] I've yelled at my dad.

[179] Everything is fine.

[180] It's all been settled.

[181] This might make you feel a little bit better.

[182] When I was four years old...

[183] Uh -oh.

[184] Oh, shit.

[185] Yeah, it's the same exact story, but there were no, it wasn't like there was a treat around my dad's heart medication.

[186] I just ate them because they were pink.

[187] Can't blame you.

[188] And because no one walks me ever, any time of the day, day or night, everyone had their own shit going on.

[189] I was like, fine, I'll go into the bathroom and eat some bathroom candy.

[190] How many?

[191] Well, my mom wasn't sure because she came in and I was sitting on the counter with like one hanging out of my mom.

[192] mouth and she immediately screamed and took me to the emergency room and she was like, I was positive you were going to die.

[193] It's fucking adult heart medication.

[194] Dude, 100 % but uh -uh.

[195] That's right.

[196] Just fucking, I'm telling you.

[197] And she has the strongest heart to this day.

[198] My heart is that of a lion.

[199] I actually do think though that is the thing about kids these days being like helicopter parented is I think we're making them very weak internally.

[200] Oh, by not poisoning them on the regular?

[201] You got to get a little poison in the kids, you know.

[202] Leave out a sip of detergent.

[203] Yeah.

[204] No. Just a half a tide pod.

[205] Send your emails to my favorite murder at Gmail.

[206] Complaints and concerns, too.

[207] Child welfare, don't worry.

[208] We don't have children.

[209] Ever.

[210] Ever.

[211] That's our guarantee to you.

[212] For you or our children.

[213] Don't worry.

[214] I actually ate.

[215] Each one of you has to take care of us when we get all.

[216] When we are poor and confused later, it'll be for me. It'll be like 10 years, yeah.

[217] That's why I just eat all my birth control pills in one day.

[218] Yep, you just power 30 down.

[219] That's right.

[220] Like Elvis.

[221] Yeah.

[222] I mean, I'm kind of proud of him, but my dad, not my dad, my cat.

[223] Yeah.

[224] My dad is in big, fucking trouble.

[225] Here's the thing.

[226] If I were, I'm going to doubles advocate for Elvis right now.

[227] Okay.

[228] And be like, hey, guess what?

[229] For the past three years, you've been tempting me with a cookie every fucking Thursday and Sunday.

[230] And you set me up to love this shit.

[231] Oh, it's totally my fault.

[232] I was going to take part of that blame with you.

[233] Oh, you can have it.

[234] Yeah.

[235] Thank you.

[236] But in doing so, I was going to attack you verbally as a cat.

[237] I'm sorry, it got confusing.

[238] Oh, partly.

[239] I don't know what this.

[240] difference with my silver nails um what's it oh go bye uh tell us about your dress um listen i forgot to lose some weight i do it every time i've done it several tours in a row now it's hard to remember you got a couple months oh i lay around and then i stand up and i go to try on I'm like, what's happening?

[241] But here's the thing.

[242] I don't care anymore.

[243] And I don't mean that insincerely.

[244] I mean it like, it's time to have a good time.

[245] Yeah.

[246] It's really, this couldn't be a more ideal situation in every way.

[247] And as I was pulling this fucking, essentially black tube sock of a dress on tonight, because I didn't go shopping before I left.

[248] I was like, I'll just bring that black one.

[249] And so I tried.

[250] on in my hotel room.

[251] And now I do, here's the thing about me, like the owners of Vert and Vertical, I love a large shift.

[252] I love something that looks almost like a hospital gown.

[253] Mm -hmm.

[254] And so...

[255] A moo -moo of sorts.

[256] A mu -moo with no pattern.

[257] Right.

[258] Monochromatic mumas are my jam.

[259] So when I pulled this on, I was like, this is rough stuff for me. That is the furthest from a moo -moo I have ever...

[260] It's pretty tight.

[261] But what I did was I took the dress and then I just stretched it over the back of a large chair in my hotel room.

[262] You mean you like put it over the chair?

[263] I pulled it.

[264] Holy shit.

[265] This part was like all the way out like this.

[266] Thank you.

[267] And this is why you shouldn't spend $500 on a dress yet in your life.

[268] I should only shop a target for dresses.

[269] Yes.

[270] Right?

[271] Yeah, why wouldn't win?

[272] Essentially they should be disposable.

[273] But anyway, I'm feeling pretty good about it.

[274] Even though there's no pockets, I like it.

[275] Take a lot.

[276] Thank you.

[277] They're representing girls with huge tits and big butts.

[278] Look, found you.

[279] I don't know why I'm yelling at them about it.

[280] Let them know.

[281] Make it known.

[282] Have it known.

[283] I got really threatening.

[284] Now let's take a look at your dress.

[285] Okay.

[286] This is a cute.

[287] I love that someone sent me this.

[288] You guys, sometimes you get shit for free when you're a podcaster.

[289] That's asking Georgia to wear their clothes?

[290] Yes.

[291] Jack.

[292] Joni clothing.

[293] Joni clothing gave me this dress.

[294] So cute.

[295] I am so cheap.

[296] This thing probably costs 50 bucks and I'm like, I'll be your spokesperson forever.

[297] But I don't care.

[298] I really love it.

[299] I also, for the first time in like two tours, put on my spanks for the first time.

[300] How do I feel?

[301] I feel good about it.

[302] I feel fine about it.

[303] You said I feel good about it, but you couldn't get the air out of your life.

[304] I feel very good.

[305] This is how long it's been.

[306] It feels good to constrict my entire midsection.

[307] I'm lightheaded yet skinny.

[308] And that's all that matters.

[309] Remember that noise that you heard when I was in the bathroom and you were putting on makeup?

[310] Yeah, it was this.

[311] It was Karen's getting ready, and then it was a...

[312] Yeah, and what that was...

[313] Like a loud clock.

[314] My knee hitting the wall as I was pulling on this weird bathing suit I have underneath this to smooth out my shape and really make me look like a harbor seal.

[315] I was just like, did you hear in the bathroom?

[316] I went to the other bathroom to get ready, which shared a wall.

[317] Did you hear me scream?

[318] No. I wasn't sure if you did because when I was pulling mine on and doing an elbow up thing, while I had wet nails, by the way.

[319] I triggered the sensor for the paper towel dispenser, and it went, at me, and I went, like, just scared the ever -loving shit out of me. Guys, we're so excited to be on tour again.

[320] I can't tell you.

[321] There's all kinds of movements about it.

[322] We're feeling good.

[323] We're going to get so flexible.

[324] We're going to get by the end of this tour, we're going to be flexible and...

[325] I feel like at the end of this tour...

[326] I haven't eaten any barbecue yet, but I really want to.

[327] Oh, yeah, we've got to do that.

[328] We've only gotten 15 ,000 recommendations where it's like, listen, I know other people have told you where to eat barbecue.

[329] Eat barbecue where I say eat barbecue.

[330] And you're right.

[331] And we will.

[332] I do love that.

[333] I've looked at like three menus so far, different places, and every place.

[334] Every single one of them has fried green tomatoes on them.

[335] And pimento cheese?

[336] I didn't know.

[337] Both great movies from the 90s.

[338] I mean...

[339] Pemento cheese was...

[340] A hot green tomatoes.

[341] It's just...

[342] It's a series of movies where they just make a BLT.

[343] Yep.

[344] A really good BLT.

[345] A really good one.

[346] Yeah.

[347] Hear us out.

[348] Look.

[349] I'm trying to really quickly.

[350] named, it got quiet for a second so everyone was like, I'll yell now.

[351] I was trying to really quickly name the third movie, which would have something to do with like center cut bacon.

[352] Oh yeah.

[353] My brain got tired.

[354] Let's do maple bacon.

[355] Maple bacon?

[356] Okay.

[357] See?

[358] Shouldn't have done it.

[359] Baby gem lettuce.

[360] Forget it.

[361] The third movie baby gem lettuces.

[362] Hold on, hold on.

[363] The third movie garlic aoli.

[364] It's not a funny joke to begin with, so why would the third version of it be good at all.

[365] And they just named salad.

[366] Sandwich toppings.

[367] I don't know where I am.

[368] Good.

[369] Great.

[370] Oh, they shipped out our very special Oriental rug.

[371] That's good.

[372] We have that.

[373] Yeah, we got it cleaned for the evening.

[374] We demand a rug from cost plus at every show we go to.

[375] That's right.

[376] That's right.

[377] Otherwise, Stephen gets fired.

[378] It has to sleep on it.

[379] I wonder...

[380] This is your new apartment, Stephen.

[381] I wonder if For this tour, we should get a different floor covering, a more irritating, bigger pain -in -the -ass floor covering.

[382] It's a little, like a geometric shape.

[383] Let's give someone a seizure from just the shapes happening in the pattern.

[384] Like a puzzle rug?

[385] Like a little kid's puzzle rug?

[386] This is the personal side where we were just essentially talking to each other.

[387] We're working out the plans of this tour right now.

[388] Our tour manager's on speakerphone.

[389] listening.

[390] Any notes?

[391] Should we sit down?

[392] Yeah.

[393] Thank you so much.

[394] Thank you.

[395] We love sitting down.

[396] It's our favorite thing.

[397] Thank God it's a low high chair.

[398] We have our sweat towels.

[399] Sometimes the high chairs are fucking high.

[400] Oh, look.

[401] And unstable.

[402] Surprise mint.

[403] What?

[404] No, I wouldn't do that.

[405] That's the mint you spit out earlier.

[406] Yeah.

[407] I hope.

[408] I always bring my glasses in case something.

[409] Something good happens out in the audience.

[410] I want to be able to see it.

[411] And our Evian, we won't drink anything else.

[412] Yeah, we have a deal with Evian.

[413] Just kidding.

[414] We have a deal with the TV show that we just watched.

[415] What's it called?

[416] Evian.

[417] Where she puts vodka in that Evian bottle?

[418] Dark.

[419] Yes.

[420] Sharp objects.

[421] I got it.

[422] I got it.

[423] I didn't hear anybody say it.

[424] I got it by myself.

[425] You get no credit.

[426] This is a true crime comedy podcast.

[427] Oh, that's right.

[428] That's right.

[429] We talk about horrible things.

[430] In all different ways.

[431] It's complex.

[432] It's all contextual.

[433] So sometimes we're laughing and sometimes we're very serious if you've never been here.

[434] If somebody has forced you to this show against your will, we apologize.

[435] Like Eliza.

[436] Like George's cousin.

[437] Like George's cousin.

[438] What if she walks out?

[439] That'd be kind of amazing.

[440] I know.

[441] What if that was the thing?

[442] the goal of the 2018 fall tour is to infuriate family members.

[443] I've got some people in Charlotte.

[444] She wore a white dress to my wedding, so she doesn't get to me. What?

[445] Shit.

[446] Oh, I'll help you, out.

[447] It's okay.

[448] She's young.

[449] She'll know how horrible that was when she told her.

[450] Generation Z, don't give a fuck.

[451] They don't.

[452] They owe nothing to anyone.

[453] We've ruined the planet for them, and they're like, guess what?

[454] I'm going to wear a white dress every day, motherfucker.

[455] You did this to me. I can't get a job, there's no money left everyone's a douchebag.

[456] That's right.

[457] I'm going to wear a white dress.

[458] God, I didn't realize how much I love Generation Z. I'm going to marry into fucking Generation Z. Get a nice fucking 24 -year -old up in my house.

[459] Do it.

[460] It might be what I mean.

[461] Tell your friends.

[462] Spread the word.

[463] Next is our college tour, but it's just Karen's husband tour.

[464] Karen's future husband tour.

[465] Then we go into high school tour.

[466] What?

[467] That's not a lot.

[468] A husband who's under 21, and he can't come into our shows that we're doing clubs.

[469] He has to wait outside.

[470] I make him wait in the hotel room every weekend.

[471] Mommy's going to go do a show, he's still here.

[472] Okay, you're first.

[473] Okay.

[474] Oh, we were in the middle of apologizing to people who have never heard this podcast but I mean at this point at this point pretty right on why not join us don't fight us oh people were kind of talking about this there was a little excitement in there I just want to disabuse anyone of the notion do it feebie judge could not come tonight we invited her she was very excited but she said in a message not to me personally but it was on social media she said I have to fly out of town and interview a mobster and interview a mobster.

[475] That's the coolest excuse I've ever It also could be so fake but still I love her so much Of course you do Phoebe Judge But because she's not here I just want to say I'm Phoebe Judge And that is criminal that she's not here We came to your town Yeah Karen you know I'm all about vintage shopping Absolutely and when you say vintage you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[476] Exactly.

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[493] Goodbye.

[494] Hey, this is exciting.

[495] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[496] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[497] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[498] Who killed Saz?

[499] And were they really after Charles?

[500] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[501] This season, murder hits close to home.

[502] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[503] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[504] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[505] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[506] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVein, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[507] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[508] Bye.

[509] The murder that I'm going to do tonight, I first heard on the podcast Criminal.

[510] Um, which I know I've been doing a lot lately.

[511] I'm going to, I swear to God, Phoebe, I'm going to stop, I'm stopped biting your style very soon.

[512] Uh, but because we're here, uh, I'm doing the Lawson family murders.

[513] Oh.

[514] Now, this is a North Carolina specialty, but it actually took place on the coast, um, but I'm doing it here tonight because it's kind of one of your oldest and most infamous murders.

[515] Um, I'm not.

[516] I'm not doing that one.

[517] No. I don't know why it's out of familiar, and I was like, I got this cold chill.

[518] I asked Stephen if I could do this one, right?

[519] No. Okay.

[520] No, Stephen's supposed to be in charge of that, making sure that we don't do the same ones at the same time.

[521] He did.

[522] Although, at a certain point, it's just going to overlap, and who really gives a shit at the end of the day?

[523] Generation Z. Okay.

[524] So let's see.

[525] This starts out.

[526] Charles Lawson was born in 1886, So it's not the same, right?

[527] Your's in 1980s, right?

[528] Mm -hmm.

[529] Okay.

[530] 1886 in Lawsonville, North Carolina.

[531] Now, this morning when I reread this document, I was like, did I just write Lawsonville?

[532] Because his last name is Lawson.

[533] And there's no such place.

[534] But I looked it up, and Lawsonville does exist.

[535] It's north of here.

[536] So he was born in Lawsonville, North Carolina, into a family of 11 children.

[537] Was the town named after it?

[538] Why am I even asking?

[539] I mean.

[540] I wish I knew that family history.

[541] but it doesn't seem like he comes from the kind of family that they name a town after them and you'll see what I mean later in 1911 at the age of 25 he marries a woman named Fannie Manning No right Does he?

[542] He does Yeah Cool Maybe all of this is fake Maybe this is a dream They start a family They eventually have eight children This is what everybody did back then Their kids were Arthur, Marie, Carrie, Maybel, James, Raymond, and Mary Lou was the baby.

[543] They had one son in 1914.

[544] He died shortly after birth, which was not uncommon back then, because back then, 67 % of children died by age five.

[545] Holy shit!

[546] So you don't want to know what all the haunted shit is about.

[547] It's probably numbers like that.

[548] Yeah.

[549] Where people are like, oh, if ghosts were real, why don't we have them all the time?

[550] Because there used to be a 67 % mortality rate.

[551] Jesus.

[552] Sorry to yell at you.

[553] In 1920, Charlie's brother, Marion, decides to move to Stokes County near Germantown, or Germantin.

[554] Germantown?

[555] Germantown?

[556] Germantin.

[557] Germantin, she said, the girl from the theater department.

[558] The only one with the courage to correct us.

[559] Germantinton!

[560] I can project to...

[561] So they move on down to Stokes County to work as tenant tobacco farmers.

[562] So Charlie and Fanny, they decide that this is his brother Marion.

[563] He does it first.

[564] Charlie and Fannie are like, we want to go too.

[565] So in the next, they move down, and then in the next seven years, Charlie Lawson works hard.

[566] By 1927, he's saved enough money to buy his own tobacco farm out on Brook Cove Road.

[567] And I think we have a picture of the house.

[568] Oh, we get to do it.

[569] ourselves.

[570] Yeah.

[571] Love this.

[572] Control.

[573] Now we got a lot.

[574] You sing.

[575] Look at that.

[576] That looks like it sucks to live in.

[577] It's just chicken wire.

[578] Yep.

[579] It looks, you know, someday fucking chicken wire is going to become like the hip, new, cute trend.

[580] Yeah.

[581] And then I'm going to, then I'm done.

[582] And then they'll be like, I'm going to knock my house down and redo the Lawson family home in the style of, the shabby, chic style of the Lawson family home.

[583] This was back before paint.

[584] Artisanal chicken wire.

[585] It also looks like it was before windows, too.

[586] It was just like, we need a house, but let's not go crazy with the extras.

[587] We'll take a chimney, and that's fucking all.

[588] Looks like it was before happiness.

[589] The architect was like, I was thinking of unhappiness when I built this.

[590] It's pre -joy.

[591] It's a pre -joy civilization.

[592] A pre -joy home with a short porch.

[593] The mortgage payment on this home was $500 a month, which seems a bit steep when you look at the fact that it looks like there's huge spaces between every board where wrapped going...

[594] Did the house come with spiders or did you have to bring your own?

[595] Was it a B -Y -O -S situation?

[596] Okay.

[597] So, 500 of course back then was a shit ton of money the equivalent I don't know $7 ,000 a month probably a lot so he barely makes the mortgage every month he's a tobacco farmer so they live a very simple no frills life no extra money for anything not even birthday presents or Christmas presents and in fact one time a neighbor offered to give Charlie Lawson money so he could buy his children Christmas presents and he replied, my children don't need Christmas presents.

[598] They have everything they need.

[599] Well, clearly, Charlie, we see the extreme luxury your children live in.

[600] The word need and Christmas presents.

[601] I mean...

[602] No. They've got that board that I nailed up on the porch that they can lean against, and that's plenty for my children.

[603] They have all the slivers they could want at our house.

[604] So, But still, friends and family would sneak candies and fruits to Fannie so that the children could have a little something on Christmas morning, but it was a tough life.

[605] And also, Charlie was a very strict father, and he, of course, back then, whipping children was a very common practice, and he apparently enjoyed it.

[606] He liked to beat, especially his oldest son, Arthur, and he beat Arthur until Arthur was a teenager.

[607] And then in the classic story that we've all heard, once Arthur was taller than him.

[608] Then he came at him with the whip and Arthur took the whip and broke it over his knee and said, that's the last time you're going to beat me, dad.

[609] And, and, right?

[610] Charles was like, okay, that's fine.

[611] I'll just go over to the girls and beat them.

[612] So, um, right, boo.

[613] So he, you know, he's a strict old, timey farming North Carolina dad.

[614] So sometime around late November, early December of 1929, Charlie Lawson tells the family they're going into town for a surprise and once they're there he bribes them all brand new store bought clothes which was like unbelievable and he also buys the younger children toys which of course they've never had and it's a huge deal they're all kind of freaking out but that wasn't it then he walks them over across the street to the portrait studio and he has a family picture taken and this was back then photography was incredibly expensive.

[615] It was basically for the rich.

[616] So, you know, everyone was like, Portrait Studio, what are you doing?

[617] And here is the family photo.

[618] Wait, that's on me. Here's the family photo that the Lawson's took late November, early December of 1929.

[619] Okay, that's Arthur on the far left.

[620] That's Arthur, you won't be whipping me anymore, dad.

[621] That's Marie.

[622] she's...

[623] Arthur's kind of hot, right?

[624] No, he's hot.

[625] Yeah, yeah.

[626] I didn't know if we were all going to say it or not, or if that's...

[627] No, he's legit hot.

[628] I mean, it's exciting when a guy wears a three -piece suit.

[629] It seems like something's going to happen.

[630] But if you look closely at this picture, like when you go home tonight, the way this picture turned out, his eyes are white, so he also looks like he has laser beams for eyes.

[631] Even hotter.

[632] Maybe he did.

[633] Maybe he did.

[634] And that's why his father stopped whipping him.

[635] That's Marie.

[636] She's 16.

[637] She's, now, they talk a lot on that episode of Criminal about how, like, she looks so pretty and she's so basically hip and, you know, beautiful.

[638] And happy, more than anything.

[639] Happy compared to everybody else.

[640] That joy somehow seeped in through those boards.

[641] That's right.

[642] She stole it from her friend's house and brought it in herself.

[643] Jesus.

[644] That's Charlie Lawson, the father.

[645] He's of 43 in this picture.

[646] picture and that's Fannie Lawson.

[647] She's 37.

[648] Oh my God.

[649] I'm 38, everyone.

[650] I'm 50.

[651] I'm 408.

[652] I just like saying 50.

[653] It's easier.

[654] But yeah, when I saw that picture, I was like, why do I have low self -esteem?

[655] Look at fucking Fannie Lawson.

[656] We shouldn't tear each other down to build ourselves.

[657] No. This is not a race or a competition.

[658] It's not a competition.

[659] But If it happened 100 years ago, then you're allowed to do it.

[660] Okay.

[661] Then on the bottom, that's Carrie.

[662] And the little boy there that is Raymond.

[663] He's two years old.

[664] Oh, look at how cute he is.

[665] And that's Maybel.

[666] She's seven.

[667] Love her haircut, and I'm not being sarcastic.

[668] No, that's a really good.

[669] That is a legit bull cut.

[670] That's a mod, a little maud page boy thing.

[671] Yeah, doing it.

[672] That's when children held still because they were so scared.

[673] Yeah, yeah.

[674] And then that's James.

[675] he's four.

[676] So that's the Losson family.

[677] And so this was a very big deal that they got this picture taken.

[678] So I'm going to leave that picture up.

[679] A couple weeks later, on Christmas morning, 1929, Fannie got up early and she was making everybody breakfast.

[680] It's Christmas morning.

[681] Obviously, it's a big deal.

[682] Charlie and Arthur were out doing chores so they can get everything done for the day.

[683] And Marie is rolling her hair by the fire.

[684] She has a date later that day with a young man who was taking her to the Christmas celebration at church.

[685] So she was all excited.

[686] Fannie then made a layer cake, which was a very, very big deal to this family because it was Christmas.

[687] And she iced it and she tops it.

[688] She sprinkled raisins on top of it and she put it on the table.

[689] Raisins on a cake.

[690] I know, I know.

[691] Like, I...

[692] But, like, in 1929, raisins were like raisinettes.

[693] Maybe if it was a carrot cake, I'm on board.

[694] Still, if you were to see it, if someone was like, I made you a cake, like what raisins on it would make you go?

[695] You'd be like, why'd you let a mouse shit on my cake?

[696] It's the first thing I would say to someone giving me a cake.

[697] To right out of my mouth.

[698] Okay.

[699] So after the chores are, the little kids are down playing by the fire with their new toys, the chores are done.

[700] Charlie and Arthur decide they want to go rabbit hunting because the forest is right behind their house.

[701] but then Arthur noticed he notices he's low on ammo and so he says do you have any he asked the dad if he has any ammo dad says no he goes okay well I'm going to walk into town and I think he did a little he did a little target practice first then realized he was running out of bullets and they said okay I'm going to walk into town and get some more so he heads into town and Charlie walks into their barn tobacco barn Charlie is the dad Charlie's the dad.

[702] Arthur is the son, even though he has a dad name, he's the son.

[703] Okay, got it, got it, got it.

[704] And Charlie has a boy name, but he's the bad dad.

[705] Okay.

[706] So Charlie's up in the tobacco barn, where he also, just by the way, by chance, I'll tell you this now, is where he keeps his shotguns.

[707] And so he's up in there.

[708] Now, the two middle girls, Carrie and Mabel, they're going to go over to their aunt and uncle's house for the Christmas visit.

[709] So they leave the house and they go walking down the road to their aunt and uncle's house, and this is where Christmas Day takes a horrifying turn for the Lawson's.

[710] What the girls don't know is that as they walk past the tobacco barn, that their father is lying in wait for them with his two shotguns.

[711] He shoots both girls, then he walks over to their bodies laying in the snow and bludgeon them both with the butt of his shotgun.

[712] to make sure that they're dead.

[713] Fuck!

[714] Yes.

[715] Then he pulls their bodies into the tobacco barn and he crosses their arms over their chest and he places flat stones under their heads like pillows.

[716] And he takes his shotguns and then he walks over to the house.

[717] Now, because there was so much gunfire that day and it's a normal thing on a farm, especially back then, it wasn't alarming to hear gunshots.

[718] Oh, my God.

[719] So when he was, Charlie, so Fannie was out on the porch getting wood and she sees Charlie walking toward the house with his two shotguns and it isn't until she sees he's close enough that she sees this wild look in his eyes that she realizes something terrible is happening and she turns to run into the house and he shoots her in the back and she falls dead in the doorway of the house.

[720] So just by looking at him she was like something's fucking off.

[721] Well I mean that's what this story said but that's a first person experience that I'm not sure how the author of the story would know.

[722] That is a good point.

[723] And everyone involved in that moment of the story is dead.

[724] So it could be conjecture, but it sure is a fun picture to paint.

[725] Oh, you think.

[726] Because, yeah, you just don't want that guy with a wild look in his face.

[727] You don't want that coming at you.

[728] Okay.

[729] So it's easy to imagine.

[730] All right.

[731] So, again, he steps into the doorway, and he does this with all the family members.

[732] It's awful and really horrifying, but he bludgeoned, after he shoots them, he bludgeoned them with his gun.

[733] So he is like, it's overkill like crazy.

[734] He's making sure they're all dead.

[735] So he does that, to Fannie, in the doorway.

[736] Well, Marie is inside the house, and she sees all of this.

[737] She starts screaming, and he shoots her as well, does the same thing, bludgeon's her.

[738] the four -year -old and the two -year -old run and hide one hides under the crib and one hides under the stove he shoots them both and bludges them both and he also kills the baby it is fucking horrifying mayhem and it's the beginning like of every horror movie you've ever seen so he again drags the bodies over to the fireplace and he crosses their arms over their chests and puts stones under their heads.

[739] What the fuck?

[740] Yeah.

[741] And then, but he actually, Raymond's body stayed behind the stove.

[742] So when Charlie Lawson was walking back up to the house to kill his family, what he didn't realize was there was a little neighbor boy who had been there playing with the kids, and he had just walked out of the house.

[743] So as he's like walking up the road, he sees Charlie shoot Fanny, and he, and then he hears the screaming and everything, and so he just fucking takes off running and he gets to his house and he tells his parents Charlie Lawson is killing his family.

[744] So immediately, like, the neighborhood posse, everyone grabs their shotguns and everyone gets together, yeah.

[745] Thank God.

[746] Thank God.

[747] Can you imagine your little kid running in and be like, what's up?

[748] Mom, dad?

[749] Yes.

[750] This dude's fucking killing his family.

[751] But it's Christmas morning, so his mom's like, honey, why won't you put your jacket on?

[752] And she's like, no, no, da, da.

[753] I'm busy with raisins on.

[754] The first thing he says is, mom, dad, they put raisin on a cake.

[755] No, no, also, wait, but there's something else.

[756] Okay, so then all of this happens so fast, and of course, you, as fast as you would imagine, when the gossip is not someone fucked somebody else, but in fact, Charlie Lawson just killed his whole family, everybody hears about it immediately.

[757] So Arthur, in town, buying his bullets, overhears people saying, oh my God, Charlie Lawson just murdered his whole family.

[758] And Arthur Lawson says, it can't be.

[759] I just saw all of them.

[760] And so someone takes him and they rush back out to the house.

[761] So Charlie's brother, who had also been out hunting, also was told of this.

[762] So he rushes over the house and he jumps up on the porch.

[763] You've seen the porch.

[764] You've seen the porch.

[765] He gets up on the porch and he actually has to keep all these people from entering the house because everybody wants to go inside and he stands on the porch with his shotgun and keeps basically everybody at bay until the police arrive.

[766] Now another neighbor who actually entered from a different direction where he passed the tobacco barn first is walking.

[767] Now remember it's Christmas Day so there's snow.

[768] He's walking and he sees a huge pool of blood in the snow that has drag marks and tracks all the way to the tobacco barn.

[769] So this neighbor, this poor person goes in, opens the barn door and finds Carrie and Maybell lying inside, dead, also with their arms crossed over their chest and stones under their head.

[770] And this is about the same time that the sheriff finally arrives.

[771] So the sheriffs and the deputies, I don't know how it broke down back then, the sheriff and a couple of his good, good friends, that he trusted.

[772] They show up and they end up.

[773] enter the Lawson House.

[774] And, of course, it is like a scene out of everyone's worst nightmare and incredibly bloody.

[775] There is apparently blood everywhere.

[776] So Arthur finally gets back from town, and as he's approaching, he can see his mother's feet through the doorway.

[777] And he starts freaking out.

[778] He tries to fight through the crowd to get into the house, and all of the neighbors keep him from going inside, so he doesn't see what's in there.

[779] And it's around this time that everyone realizes that no one knows where Charlie is.

[780] And so they gather up all their, what I would imagine, to be 65 shotguns.

[781] And they start searching for Charlie Lawson.

[782] Yeah.

[783] So Charlie Lawson, once he finished laying out his family, went out the back door and walked into the woods with his dogs.

[784] And he took his, one of his guns, he had beaten his family so terribly with one of his shotguns, that the barrel was bent.

[785] So he left that on the floor and he took the second good shotgun out into the woods with him and wandered around for a while and apparently he ended up landing at this tree and he ended up walking in circles around the tree over and over.

[786] It said talking to himself, but again, I believe that might be a bit of illustration, but it would make sense.

[787] You'd just be like, holy fuck.

[788] I'm insane.

[789] his dogs they could tell afterwards from when they found the area that his dogs just laid in the snow watching him as he did that and he actually at one point tried to set up a contraption in the tree so that he could shoot himself in the heart but he ended up not using it then he tried to write two suicide notes on the backs of receipts that he had in his pockets and they were both just you know half written one had the phrase troubles can cause on it, and the other had the phrase no one to blame.

[790] What?

[791] Those are so much more creepy than like an actual sentence Yeah, would be somehow.

[792] Well, and also, on that second one, Charlie, sorry, a quick reminder, you are to blame.

[793] Yeah.

[794] This is all on you, 100%.

[795] Yeah.

[796] he finally pulls the trigger and kills himself, and when the search party the way the search party ends up finding him is they see these dogs coming running out of the forest so they just track the dog's path back to the body of Charlie Lawson at the base of the tree.

[797] So at the funeral, the Lawson family is dressed in their brand new clothes that they had worn in their family portrait.

[798] Oh.

[799] Is that why he bought them?

[800] What?

[801] Do you think that's why he bought them?

[802] I mean, I don't know.

[803] There's a lot of theories because, you know, everyone, you know, they talk about that everyone looks so unhappy and so uncomfortable in this picture.

[804] So you don't know if that's because it's lately, and we'll get into like the theories of why it happened, but one of the theories is Charlie Lawson when he was working on a tobacco farm, fucking hit himself in the back of the head with a pickaxe and gave himself, this was like a couple months before the murders, and gave himself a head injury, and of course, as we've heard 1 ,000 times, after that, his personality changed, and he became really volatile and really violent.

[805] And so that there's a possibility that from that moment, it could have been that.

[806] But we don't, there's just no way to know.

[807] Or if, you know, he spent the morning with his son like, you know, doing target practice.

[808] So that would really be such a split if he was able to just kind of hang for a little while And then, like, who knows?

[809] That's the mystery.

[810] Okay.

[811] They were laid out in a family plot that was nine feet by 21 feet, so it could hold everybody in the Browder Cemetery.

[812] And Fanny was buried holding baby Mary Lou in her arms, yeah.

[813] And they also exhumed the body of the son that had died in 1914, and they buried him with the family as well.

[814] It said that 5 ,000 people attended the Lawson family funeral.

[815] So, of course, it's somebody killing their whole family.

[816] It was the most infamous thing that had happened in the area in a long time.

[817] And, of course, because of that, people start showing up at the Losson family home because murderinos have been around forever.

[818] We didn't start this, guys.

[819] It's been, it's a long -held tradition of looky -lose and what the fuck.

[820] I need to see that shit for myself.

[821] And this is kind of inappropriate, but like, don't tell me. me what, you know, is interesting.

[822] Right, exactly.

[823] I'll go find out for myself.

[824] Don't feel weird.

[825] At first, Charlie's brothers stood on the old porch and again guarded the house because people, of course, were trying to go in and take memorabilia from the house.

[826] Chicken wire.

[827] Yeah.

[828] I want a sad board from this horrible house.

[829] You know what would make my house look great?

[830] A sad board from this house.

[831] This horror board.

[832] Yeah.

[833] But then they realize that somebody has to keep paying this $500 a month mortgage, so they end up putting a fence around the house, and they put advertisements in the statewide papers saying that it's a tourist attraction, you can come and look at the murder house.

[834] And they charge people 25 cents ahead.

[835] What, now you're against it?

[836] You fucking love this shit.

[837] Make that noise.

[838] they charged 25 cents ahead and let people walk through the murder house now here to me this is one of the one of the creepiest stories I've ever heard this is one of the creepier aspects of it when they went to clean up the house the brothers had to do the crime scene clean up themselves and there was so much blood and it because it was December it had frozen to the floor so the brothers had to go in with a hammer and break up all the blood and shovel it out and then they buried it in the backyard.

[839] Oh, no, like it's brittle or something.

[840] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[841] And then a black rose bush grew.

[842] That's the horror movie.

[843] That's when we fictionalize.

[844] Gee whiz.

[845] Everything inside the house, aside from that blood, everything inside the house was exactly as it was the day of the murder, including the fucking cake no one had yet cut into.

[846] That's why I talked about the cake so much.

[847] You knew that was foreshadowing I didn't You didn't know You didn't see it coming And I just thought it sounded gross Okay Here's what you're going to love Okay People start stealing the raisins off the top of the cake They have to put that fucking cake Under glass Because everybody wants a little horrible piece of memorabilia from this horror house Literally a raisin is a horrible It's bad enough that it's a raisin from anywhere.

[848] Why did I zero?

[849] Someone's hand, a pocket.

[850] A cake.

[851] Oh my God.

[852] Isn't that insane?

[853] The only O, I said that already.

[854] In 1930, the year after the murders.

[855] So this was, of course, huge.

[856] A band called the Carolina Buddies, which I know is on your Spotify playlist right now.

[857] They released a song called The Murder of the Lawson family, and it was...

[858] What was it about?

[859] She said what was it about.

[860] Sorry.

[861] You really underplayed that.

[862] It was good.

[863] What was it about?

[864] It was one of the most popular songs in the nation.

[865] And it was one of those old country songs.

[866] It was like, they came...

[867] Yeah.

[868] They just tell the story.

[869] They literally just...

[870] and read off this paper.

[871] They were fucking, he was born in Losville in 1908.

[872] What if this was just the lyrics of that?

[873] The story she's told from here.

[874] I printed up the lyrics of the Carolina buddies.

[875] They're one of my favorite bands.

[876] I liked them before you did.

[877] But basically, that's how everyone got to know this story and the people in the area.

[878] That's how they passed the story down from generation to generation.

[879] Shit.

[880] They sang this song to the children, and in this...

[881] Oh, you want a lullaby?

[882] Oh, you can't sleep.

[883] You want mommy to sing your song?

[884] Is it nighttime?

[885] Okay.

[886] They came from her.

[887] Oh, my God.

[888] So listen to this episode of Criminal.

[889] It's called The Portrait.

[890] And they play the original song.

[891] Do they?

[892] By the Carolina Buddy.

[893] The fucking Carolina Bodies.

[894] Someone needs to remix it.

[895] Please.

[896] That's my...

[897] Steven.

[898] please um okay so basically this this story of the loss and family murders has lived on for a long time at least in this area um so there's of course a lot of town gossip as to why it happened and one of the more insane rumors was that charlie lawson had gotten caught up with the mob um they have the big mob back then around here in north Carolina yes oh okay it was the the Gambini family ran that part of Gambono family ran um that they people said that Charlie had seen something that he wasn't supposed to see and so they staged the entire murder it's never the mob it's not it doesn't they don't do it that way no they're I don't think the mob is super that into bludgeoning unless they have to and like children but it's not their style yeah exactly I'm defending the mob.

[899] I'm like, please don't hate me. Could we please be nice to the mob for once?

[900] They do protect people.

[901] The theory, I think, people came up with that because it would explain how all of a sudden he had all this pocket money to be like, toys for you and dresses for you, but there's absolutely no proof of it, and it's written off as town gossip.

[902] the head injury of course is also a theory but after you know after the after the after when the autopsy was performed is what I'm trying to say the doctor removed Charlie's brain and inspected it to see if there was actual brain trauma from that accident that would explain the attack but there was nothing found and so he preserved the brain and sent it to Johns Hopkins to see if they could fucking find what was wrong his brain.

[903] And the doctors there said it was inconclusive that there was nothing overt on Charlie Lawson's brain that explained why he would suddenly snap and attack.

[904] I mean, aside from that giant pickax hole in the middle of it, there was nothing.

[905] There was half an inch of pickax still in there, but they said inconclusive.

[906] What about like chemicals from the tobacco?

[907] Tobacco probably had chemicals in it then, right?

[908] No, that was back when tobacco was really green and when it was just American Spirit brand everywhere.

[909] fucking hippie -style vegan.

[910] It was all vegan.

[911] It was gluten -free.

[912] Now, this is fascinating.

[913] There was a dark family secret that no one knew and didn't come out until 60 years later.

[914] Uh -huh.

[915] When Stokes County locals, Trudy Smith, and her father, M. Bruce Jones, they had heard the story for so long, and they knew people that had gone to the first.

[916] funeral.

[917] They knew people who had gone and taken a tour of the house.

[918] And so they decided to collect up all the information, verify it, and write a book about the Lawson family murders.

[919] And right before they were going to go to press, it was a member of the Lawson family, it's anonymous as to who did it, called them up and said, I know why it happened.

[920] And this was in 1990.

[921] And she told them that 16 -year -old Marie Lawson was pregnant, and the father was Charlie Lawson.

[922] I mean, the part I don't like about this is when they're like...

[923] I mean, obviously aside from...

[924] Look, we don't have to pick just one thing we don't like about this story.

[925] What I'm saying, aside from that, is that they were about to go to press, and their publicist was like, this is kind of boring, we need more information, and they're like, well, we just happened to get a call last night.

[926] A ring, ring.

[927] From the Lawson family, who were like, but here's the thing.

[928] Yes.

[929] I'm...

[930] Are you calling bullshit on Trudy because I will let her No. However, he looks like a fucking dick, so.

[931] Well, here's the thing, though, that, because they were, they are consummate professionals, they had this corroborated.

[932] Marie's best friend was a woman named Elamay Johnson, and she had a sleepover with Marie like two weeks before the murders took place, and Marie confessed to Elamay that not only was she pregnant, by her father, but that Charlie told her, if she, she were to tell anyone about the baby, quote, there would be killing done.

[933] L. M .A. is like, I wish you hadn't fucking just told me that.

[934] We're trying to have a sleepover, smoke some butts out the window, curl our hair.

[935] Shit, dude.

[936] So that is, fact, fact.

[937] Okay.

[938] I'm sorry.

[939] I called the family a liar.

[940] Trudy.

[941] You're sorry.

[942] Say, I'm sorry, Trudy.

[943] Okay, so don't worry about Trudy because Trudy Smith and her father self -published the book.

[944] They called it White Christmas, Bloody Christmas.

[945] Amazing.

[946] Self -published it in 1990.

[947] They originally published 5 ,000 copies, immediately sold out of all 5 ,000.

[948] So then they published, I think, 10 ,000 more, 10 or 15 ,000 more, also all sold out.

[949] It was such a popular book, and it's a story that so many people, you know, are interested in, and it's a part of the history of this area.

[950] The book is now out of print, but you can get it on Amazon for $165.

[951] Holy shit!

[952] Oh, you, I'm only talking to the rich people right now.

[953] You can get it.

[954] Wow.

[955] Now, these are just three more factoids that I find of interest.

[956] Give it to me. Okay.

[957] Arthur, the only remaining living original loss and family member, he got all that money from the house tours.

[958] So, that's cool.

[959] but here's some sad things he fell in love with a girl asked her to marry him and the girl's family would not allow her to marry him because of the murders and because he was from the Lawson family but he later found someone else, fell in love got married, had kids and then tragically he died in a car crash in 1945 really young I think it was in his 40s okay less sad more interesting in the 70s the Lawson House collapsed.

[960] Took that long, huh?

[961] No, that architect did pretty good job with that sadness.

[962] You just wouldn't believe how architecturally sound despair is.

[963] It'll just...

[964] It's cement -like, at times.

[965] But we can chip away...

[966] All right.

[967] It collapsed.

[968] I just like the idea that people are, like, standing in that farmyard and just...

[969] In one fail swoop.

[970] Paula Abdul video where the whole pyramid goes down at once.

[971] I'm 50.

[972] Woo!

[973] Okay, so they haul off all the wood that goes with the house and they took down the barn as well, because they're like, that's about to collapse.

[974] They take all that wood.

[975] They build a bridge on a place called Payne Road.

[976] The internet argues is also called Edwards Road, or maybe now is called Edwards Road.

[977] now it collapses no but the bridge is haunted of course it is so so so so claims the locals who drive across it and say that if you drive across or if you did drive across this bridge and turned your car off and whistled dixie the car would not turn back on and sometimes you would hear either a woman screaming children laughing no no how about this no condensation on the windows and then then little child's handprints showing up in the fucking moisture.

[978] If you had to pick one of those, what would you pick?

[979] What of those are going to happen to you?

[980] What would you pick?

[981] Oh, handprints 100 %?

[982] Yes.

[983] Why do it?

[984] That's weird.

[985] If you're not going to buck in.

[986] I have a question.

[987] What the fuck is whistling Dixie?

[988] I thought it was just a saying.

[989] Wheat woo?

[990] It's just like a long wheat boot.

[991] I'll do it for you later, but we can't do it in a theater that's bad luck.

[992] That's right.

[993] I am from the theater.

[994] What?

[995] Um Okay.

[996] The bridge has since been torn down.

[997] Okay.

[998] I know.

[999] Because you guys are going to drive out there, huh?

[1000] Totally great.

[1001] That's where the meetup afterwards is.

[1002] Rave on the haunted bridge.

[1003] Also, Payne Road, I think some people were cheering because Payne Road, there's other stories around that area.

[1004] There's some other murdery family shit that happened around there.

[1005] Change the name of that.

[1006] They changed it.

[1007] You mean from pain?

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] To Pleasure Road.

[1010] Here's my favorite.

[1011] That infamous Christmas cake.

[1012] Jesus.

[1013] That was on display inside the house under glass was eventually auctioned off when people stopped going to the murder house.

[1014] And a woman named Myrtle Brown bought it.

[1015] Mertl.

[1016] And she reportedly took it and threw it into the woods.

[1017] She'd had ordered.

[1018] What if when she got home after that, the cake was sitting on the fucking table?

[1019] And all the raisins had come back.

[1020] Every last raisin.

[1021] In a fucking satanic thing on it.

[1022] A pentagram?

[1023] Thank you.

[1024] A pentagram of raisins appeared.

[1025] This is now my new ending to the story.

[1026] And a pentagram of raisins appeared on Myrtle Brown's cake.

[1027] So she took it and threw it into the woods.

[1028] That's not a solution, Myrtle.

[1029] It's just going to lay like 15 feet away from you in the woods.

[1030] And some poor animal is going to come eat it, and it's been sitting out for so long.

[1031] It's going to get clashes.

[1032] The satanic raccoon was born.

[1033] I'll kill you.

[1034] I'll kill your garbage cans.

[1035] And that's the legendary story of the Lawson Family Martyrs.

[1036] Great job.

[1037] Thank you.

[1038] Goodbye.

[1039] I'm scared to.

[1040] All right.

[1041] Sorry, I left that up the whole time.

[1042] That was kind of heavy.

[1043] Great job, great job.

[1044] Okay, I actually wanted to, this is like on my very long list of murders I've wanted to do on the show before.

[1045] So when Stephen sent us the email where he just has to list murders for us, because we just can't.

[1046] We make him.

[1047] Please.

[1048] This was on it, and I was like, well, I'm going to do this one.

[1049] I just hit myself in the face with the mic.

[1050] I've done it like three times.

[1051] Yeah, it's fun.

[1052] It's really fun.

[1053] It's microphones are fun.

[1054] This is the bitter blood murders.

[1055] I have never heard of this.

[1056] It's known as America's most bizarre story of crime and the book that a lot of this information is from is called Bitter Blood by Jerry Bloodso and he's the one who coined the name of it.

[1057] This is like the bitter blood, but he made that up.

[1058] Oh, and I also got a lot of information as I did my makeup tonight and listened to a podcast on Double Speed because I was running late.

[1059] It's a podcast called Once Upon a Crime.

[1060] crime by Esther Ledlow.

[1061] Nice.

[1062] I listen to that one.

[1063] That's good.

[1064] Good.

[1065] And she had all this info in them.

[1066] I'm like, where did she get this?

[1067] She's a really good researcher, and I respect that, but I don't do it.

[1068] So this is a crazy story of a crime spree that involved wealth, power, mental illness, and Karen's favorite, incest.

[1069] Yes.

[1070] That's my jam.

[1071] It's not.

[1072] And it ends in the violent death of four generations of people, and it took place over 30 years ago.

[1073] So let's start with Susie Newsom.

[1074] So she's this smart, beautiful girl.

[1075] She's born in Reedsville, and she's...

[1076] Amazing place.

[1077] And so she's from this super prominent family.

[1078] Her dad was a tobacco executive.

[1079] Yes.

[1080] Tonight's theme is tobacco.

[1081] So they're rich as fuck.

[1082] They're like this prominent family, like, you know, stuff that we just don't understand in California.

[1083] Richness?

[1084] No, like, you know, like family wealth?

[1085] Oh, yeah.

[1086] Shit that you just find in the South, I guess.

[1087] It's just like...

[1088] Right, like generations and generations of rich people.

[1089] Did you know she's from the Kilgarris family?

[1090] Like, we don't have that there.

[1091] No way.

[1092] They're like, we hear the Kilgaris are here.

[1093] Lock up the beer.

[1094] Is usually what happens around my last name.

[1095] So everyone's like, you know, her aunt, for example, is...

[1096] And it's also her namesake, Judge Susan M. Sharp, who had become the first woman in the country to be elected, the head of the state Supreme Court.

[1097] Hell yeah.

[1098] Susan Sharp?

[1099] Yeah, anti -judge Susan Sharp.

[1100] She's widely recognized as one of the most respected women in America.

[1101] Shit.

[1102] And so Susie's named after her.

[1103] But Susie, little Susie, is just spoiled as fuck.

[1104] When she was born, she had a little heart murmur, so the doctor was like, don't let her cry.

[1105] her heart will go crazy.

[1106] So they just, like, gave her whatever she wanted so she wouldn't cry, which has to be fun for the parents.

[1107] That's second only to eating a pentagram cake is making someone evil.

[1108] That's exactly right.

[1109] Oh, that's bad.

[1110] During her childhood, she grew up in Winston -Salem.

[1111] You know, she would have these fucking insane temper tantrums, probably because she was used to getting whatever the hell she wanted to.

[1112] So her heart was fine, really.

[1113] I think so.

[1114] Like, we all have a heart bummer.

[1115] Yeah.

[1116] Right?

[1117] Yep.

[1118] But her, so her mother, this could not have been good for her heart.

[1119] So her mother, when she'd have these, like, fucking crazy temper tantrums, her mother, to get her to calm down, to not upset her heart, would just douse her with cold water.

[1120] Dude.

[1121] What?

[1122] Just, I think, douse her with cold water in the face.

[1123] I don't know where, but let's say the face.

[1124] Well, you know, my sister.

[1125] sister always said that her trick with Nora when Nora was a baby she said when you have a crab put them in water so anytime Nora was crying she just put her in the bathtub and she said it worked I doubt it was ice cold water no I bet it wasn't she's not like that and she's not rich okay so but Susie is beautiful and smart she goes to wake in cold freezing all the time but she's very demanding she becomes obsessed with the royal family and have these fantasies of being royalty.

[1126] And it says that in this stuff, like, it's a bad thing, but like all of us did that pretty much.

[1127] So, it's not that crazy.

[1128] You had no choice in the 80s.

[1129] Right.

[1130] But I think she became obsessed.

[1131] This isn't the 80s.

[1132] Yeah, this is the 70s.

[1133] So it's crazy.

[1134] She was an early adapter to the royal family.

[1135] That's amazing.

[1136] So Susie goes to Wake Forest University in Winston -Salem.

[1137] There she meets...

[1138] The fighting.

[1139] Wake borders.

[1140] Yes.

[1141] God, they're such a good team.

[1142] that's exactly right she meets a dude she marries him his name's Tom lynch Tom's two years younger than her but she sees him in his basketball uniform and she's like gotta have that that's right that's because you know they had those tiny shorts then too so you're like and like knee -high socks that's gonna be mine she's like I want that silky motherfucker for my own and she's in the younger dudes like you yes she was like that's mine But he also came from a prosperous family near Louisville, Kentucky.

[1143] So Dolores was Tom's mom, and she didn't like...

[1144] Okay, there's a made -for -TV movie called In the Best of Families, Marriage, Pride, and Madness.

[1145] And in it, I don't want to talk ill, because I don't really know this is a made -for -TV movie, which means some of it might not be true.

[1146] What?

[1147] But Tom's mom comes off as a, like, major cut and hates Susie right over.

[1148] Do you, I don't know, I can't speak for that.

[1149] Do you know any actresses or who played who?

[1150] Well, as a matter of fact, thanks out, turns out I know you well and know what you like.

[1151] You know what I want to know.

[1152] So Susan is, Susie's played by Kelly McGillis.

[1153] Yes, of top gun fame, you know her.

[1154] And Tom is played by Keith Carradine, a nice young, a young Keith Carradine.

[1155] So, yeah.

[1156] But whatever the point is, whoever was a cunt and not, Dolores and Susie, did not like each other from the fucking get -go.

[1157] And they showed open disdain for each other.

[1158] And after they married, though, they married anyways, because they were like, but we're in love.

[1159] Yeah, you know.

[1160] And they get married, they moved to Kentucky so Tom could attend dental school, and Susie soon becomes pregnant with a first child, James, who's born in 1974.

[1161] And Susie tells her mother -in -law, Dolores, who comes into town to see her grandchild, that she needs to make an appointment with her if she wants to see her grandchild, and go stay in a hotel.

[1162] room, goodbye, closes the door.

[1163] Oh.

[1164] Okay.

[1165] They don't like each other.

[1166] And Dolores did not throw a cup of cold water on Susie after she said that?

[1167] She didn't know the cold water trick?

[1168] She didn't know it yet, unfortunately.

[1169] And a year later, they have their second child, John, and actually I think I have a photo.

[1170] Let's see what this first photo is.

[1171] Okay.

[1172] So that's Susie, and those are the sweet boys.

[1173] Look at her haircut.

[1174] Okay.

[1175] And then, oh, and look at the.

[1176] this fucking retan chair they're sitting in.

[1177] Yeah, that's kind of amazing.

[1178] Truly.

[1179] It is the 70s or not?

[1180] The 70s, we were all on Fantasy Island.

[1181] It was fucking nutso.

[1182] Okay.

[1183] They move, okay, so they have the kids and then Tom decides to move the family to Albuquerque, New Mexico to start his dental practice.

[1184] But they move there and Susie's like, fuck this place.

[1185] Don't they know who I think I am?

[1186] I think I'm royalty.

[1187] Hates it there because she's not being, you know, used to being like, you know, I'm a newsome and people know and care what it is.

[1188] So she hates it there.

[1189] And at one point, she starts to lose her shit and she lashes out at one of her sons who requires hospitalization for two days after that.

[1190] But we don't know exactly what she did and it's kind of conjecture that she did something to him.

[1191] Well, you don't get hospitalized for yelling.

[1192] We know that.

[1193] Like did he just fall?

[1194] She said that the other kid knocked the food chair.

[1195] Fouton?

[1196] No. You know, that big Rutan chair?

[1197] No, high chair.

[1198] Thank you.

[1199] Over, but we don't know.

[1200] What if the high chair was a big Rutan chair?

[1201] Just pictured in your mind.

[1202] Real high, small, but with a big round back.

[1203] And flammable.

[1204] Okay.

[1205] It's the 70s after all.

[1206] But no charges are of a filed.

[1207] In 1979, Susie's like, you know what, I'm going to be RB back to North Carolina for a minute to visit my first.

[1208] family.

[1209] I'm taking the kids.

[1210] I'll be right back.

[1211] Gets there and is like, J .K., Tom, I want to fucking divorce.

[1212] We're not, we're not coming back.

[1213] And then she also says she wants full custody of the kids.

[1214] And Tom is all the way in Albuquerque.

[1215] It sounds like he was a good dad, but he agreed to sign over custody of the kids.

[1216] They're now four and three wanting to not like fight with her about it.

[1217] Okay.

[1218] Then, all right, so So Susie's also obsessed with China for some reason.

[1219] Not for some reason.

[1220] Like, China's lovely, I'm sure, but we don't know why she's obsessed with China.

[1221] The place?

[1222] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1223] The dishes.

[1224] The place.

[1225] Okay.

[1226] Great question.

[1227] So she decides, I want to move to China and teach English out of nowhere.

[1228] And some speculate that maybe she was in a manic episode and was just like later date because she fucking just took the kids and moved to China.

[1229] Wow.

[1230] Yeah.

[1231] And then after six months realized she hates it there too.

[1232] this is like me in my first five apartments in Los Angeles Oh, me too I don't like it here, it's not my fault So she comes home after six months But when she gets home, her mom is Her waterflinging mom is freaked out Because she's like, she's dirty, malnourished And like something ain't right, you know what I mean?

[1233] So she's like, you need to see a doctor or like something's wrong with you.

[1234] Well, it just so happens that they have a doctor in the family.

[1235] Okay, done, done, done.

[1236] That's how rich people do it.

[1237] Yeah.

[1238] So Dr. Fred Klener is a well -known and widely respected doctor in town.

[1239] Again, fucking family people in town.

[1240] Town -town east.

[1241] Townies, we'll be like to call him.

[1242] Depending on who you ask, though, he's either a fucking lunatic quack or a total genius.

[1243] and it was one of those things where, like, he in the, like, 70, or, like, really early on Gates helped birth triplets, and then the mom didn't die, and the babies didn't die, which was, like, a feat back then years, so everyone was like, he's amazing.

[1244] And in the 40s, which is the thing that's been happening for 2 ,000 years, but okay.

[1245] So in the 40s, he experiments with absorbic acid, which is vitamin C, becomes obsessed with it as a treatment for a ton of illnesses including, and he starts to use it on every patient, including patients with polio, multiple sclerosis, even a toothache.

[1246] He was like, everyone gets vitamin C. Vitamin C. And it sounds like he was a little bit like vitamin C and wouldn't give them any other medications.

[1247] Oh.

[1248] So he was like obsessed with it.

[1249] Did it work?

[1250] I don't know because he became world renowned for his treatments.

[1251] Yeah, but he didn't cure polio with fucking vitamin C. No, he did not.

[1252] Okay.

[1253] And his over -reliance on vitamin C also made other doctors be like, this fucking dude, you know?

[1254] They, like, didn't like him.

[1255] They called him a fraud all the time behind his back.

[1256] Oh, at the doctor's club.

[1257] Yeah.

[1258] And then he had some real problematic practices, including he would use a needle sterilizer instead of using new needles every time he used them.

[1259] So we just throw them in the old, like, you know, I don't know.

[1260] Like the combs and the blue liquid at the barbershop.

[1261] No, sir.

[1262] He just like, I'm just going to dip these in vitamin C, they'll be fine.

[1263] So he would use a needle for up to 12 patients.

[1264] No. Me and all the heroin addicts agree that you shouldn't do that.

[1265] And he was a doctor.

[1266] And then he was like, well, maybe it was this old -timey thing.

[1267] He also had a segregated waiting room.

[1268] And you're like, well, that's what was like during that time.

[1269] Nope.

[1270] Into the 80s.

[1271] No. Both of these things, he did.

[1272] No. No. So this was the uncle that Susie was like, I'm not doing well.

[1273] Let me see this fucking dude.

[1274] Oh, it's him, okay.

[1275] That's him that she goes to.

[1276] Her mom's like, go see this guy, let him straighten you out.

[1277] And he's cutting up oranges.

[1278] Susie, welcome.

[1279] I think the perfect solution.

[1280] He's crushing and snorting vitamin C pellets, tablets.

[1281] Lining up flintstones all across the thing.

[1282] I've got a whole treatment system for you.

[1283] Ten million strong.

[1284] And growing.

[1285] And growing.

[1286] You guys remember.

[1287] We're not above it.

[1288] It's not above making commercial references.

[1289] That's absolutely right.

[1290] Okay.

[1291] So she goes to this doctor.

[1292] He starts treating her.

[1293] And while she's there, she starts to get reacquainted with her cousin, who's the doctor's son.

[1294] And he's no, he's Frederick, but his name is Fritz.

[1295] And he's known as a young Dr. Clenner.

[1296] They call him that because he's like, his dad.

[1297] He's like his dad's sidekick.

[1298] He's going to fucking medical school.

[1299] He wants to be Dr. 2.

[1300] And like, everyone loves him.

[1301] I have a photo of him.

[1302] There he is.

[1303] Whoa.

[1304] Stephen said, he looks just like Henry Zabrowski.

[1305] He does.

[1306] If Henry Zabrowski was a Greek fisherman, that's what that's, Jesus.

[1307] Look at that amount of arm hair.

[1308] Hand hair, I mean.

[1309] Not that there's anything wrong with that, but...

[1310] Are we sure he's not a gorilla?

[1311] I love you.

[1312] Dr. Zayas.

[1313] You know how he got all that hair?

[1314] Vitamin C. All right.

[1315] Now, was he wearing the doctor's jacket before he actually became a doctor?

[1316] Well, let's talk about that.

[1317] Or did he work for Lancombe?

[1318] Shit, I mean clinic.

[1319] Shit.

[1320] You know this one.

[1321] Okay, my slip is slipping the wrong way and I feel like I'm dangerously close to...

[1322] We just readjust it.

[1323] Thank you so much.

[1324] All right.

[1325] Well, so yeah, he fucking essentially walks around the clinic with his dad and his lab coat, like being as assistant, taking blood and shit because he wants to do blood studies.

[1326] Turns out he's a little fucking lying liar, lies.

[1327] What?

[1328] About everything.

[1329] So Fritz, like his dad and Uncle Doctor.

[1330] It gets really confusing, so I think it's helpful to Uncle Doctor.

[1331] Uncle Doctor.

[1332] Fritz is a little...

[1333] Fritz and Uncle Doctor believe that the apocalypse is nigh.

[1334] and, like, they're totally survivalists.

[1335] Hold on, hold on.

[1336] Hold on.

[1337] I was just getting okay with the vitamin C bullshit.

[1338] No, these are fucking crazies.

[1339] I mean, unless they're right.

[1340] But...

[1341] Their timing is off a little bit, but they're right.

[1342] So, okay, sorry.

[1343] Uncle Doctor even, like, had a date that he thought the end of the fucking world was coming.

[1344] And they were, like, survivalist preppers, and they had a visceral hatred of communism, And they had a fixation with Hitler, especially Fritz.

[1345] A fixation plus or minus?

[1346] Yeah, that's a good question.

[1347] Fixation like that, damn Hitler.

[1348] I don't know if they're just like, I need to know everything.

[1349] I feel like a fixation, I feel like if you hate Hitler, great.

[1350] But you, like, wouldn't brag about that.

[1351] So if you have a fixation with Hitler, it might be positive.

[1352] It's going to be positive.

[1353] Right.

[1354] It's a great question, though.

[1355] A lot of problems here.

[1356] Lots.

[1357] But now we know how they decorate the bunker.

[1358] so fritz did go to the university of mississippi but he never graduated and his dad was like what the fuck and he was like well the the german club i was in turned against me and like and like did this whole thing about like the communists and his dad was like okay i believe you we hate you know that's what i told my dad when i dropped out of sack state so you germans but then he was like but don't worry dad I'm going to go to Duke University for my medical degree.

[1359] A very prestigious university.

[1360] Duke University, you know the screaming, their mascot, the screaming.

[1361] Oh, the screaming.

[1362] It's hard.

[1363] I'm so sorry because I was about to say hillbillies, and I did it.

[1364] Fucking rude.

[1365] Come from the poorest of the poor.

[1366] I don't...

[1367] And it's also like one of the best colleges.

[1368] It's very, very prestigious.

[1369] Not only could I have never have gotten into it, but no, they wouldn't have let me touch the like entrance application.

[1370] Yes.

[1371] So, well, maybe it's very fitting that I call them the screaming hillbillies, that's fine.

[1372] They're like, you're doubled not allowed to come here now.

[1373] Shit.

[1374] Just causing problems wherever we go.

[1375] International incident.

[1376] Why don't I stick to animals?

[1377] It's just...

[1378] Yeah, stick to animals.

[1379] Improv panic.

[1380] Improv panic.

[1381] It's hard, right?

[1382] Yeah.

[1383] It's scary.

[1384] I'm sweating.

[1385] You did good with the wake boarders.

[1386] Thank you.

[1387] But that's because Wake was in the name of this college.

[1388] I disagree.

[1389] I swear that it was in the name of the college, I swear.

[1390] Sidebar.

[1391] Okay.

[1392] So Fritz was like, don't worry, Dad.

[1393] You went to Duke.

[1394] I'm going to go to Duke and get my medical degree.

[1395] And it's fine.

[1396] And I'm going to school to be a doctor.

[1397] So I'm going to wear this lab coat around your office and get blood for me. you.

[1398] He's not going to, he got kicked out of a fucking university of Mississippi and now he's absolutely not going to Duke.

[1399] I feel like you should have to get a license for a doctor's coat in the same way you have to get them for any other thing that could trick people into trusting you.

[1400] Like a pet, an anxiety pet thing that they get?

[1401] Yeah.

[1402] You know what I'm talking about?

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] You can't just bring your dog in here and I also have a doctor's coat on.

[1405] I meant like, I like a dog in doctor's coat better I mean that would relax you if you saw a dog if you're on a plane and you're fucking shading a brick and you look over and there's a corgi with a little doctor's coat on you're fine done huge beard large watch oh okay so fritz well when he's saying he's going to duke university what he's really doing is hanging out all day at everyone's favorite place to hang out gun stores Wow And I was just thinking about the guys who work in the gun store who were like that Fritz is the crazy one in this You have to be sick of working in a gun store I just want to work here and there's like the crazy dude who hangs out there all day Yeah, in a doctor's coat In a fucking doctor's coat With the thickest beard you've ever seen So everyone at the gun store Here's these crazy stories from Pritz including him telling him that he was a green beret in Vietnam, and that he's also working for the CIA.

[1406] Guess what?

[1407] Spoiler alert.

[1408] Those things aren't true.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] I feel like the second someone starts talking about working for the CIA in a gun store, they should be like, oh, and we close right now, actually.

[1411] So we're going to go ahead and pull down these metal window coverings, and you can go ahead and get the fuck out, Dr. Vitamin C. There's a panic button, and there's a...

[1412] I just said I work in the CIA button.

[1413] CIA button with that actually contacts us the real CIA that's right come get your boy CIA it's a gun store it's very dangerous so he totally leaves in the apocalypse he stockpiles weapons and other items for the end days and then so okay so Susie cousin Susie starts hanging out with her cousin Fritzy all the time and they like they become friends again like they had known each other when they were kids but didn't really have any much in common because she wasn't into fucking guns and ammo maybe uh and she starts spending a lot of time with him the kid she starts bringing him around the kids to spend a long time with him he they take they like kind of admire him because he's they think they believe his stories about being in the CIA and being a green beret and being a doctor like she believes all of it they take the kids camping all this crazy shit um and then judge susan sharp is like i'm gonna look this guy up and yes finds out that he's bullshitting all of it.

[1414] And then the family's like, you know, we don't, why is he spending so much time with his cousin?

[1415] And why is he spending the night all the time?

[1416] That's right.

[1417] They fucking.

[1418] So they're like, the family is like, you guys, like, and also like, they're already like, are you sure this isn't a creepy pasta?

[1419] It's just fucking out of control.

[1420] I know.

[1421] I know.

[1422] Yes.

[1423] I'm positive.

[1424] Okay.

[1425] So.

[1426] I'm positive.

[1427] She says with her doctor's coat on, I assure you, this is a real true crime.

[1428] And I'm in the CIA.

[1429] The family is already like, that's like, at end of a family of fucking famous people.

[1430] Like, those are the crazy ones.

[1431] Like, we all know them.

[1432] Eliza.

[1433] No, she's like, she knows I'm the crazy one.

[1434] Beepoo pop.

[1435] The family is like, Susie, you got a stuff hanging out with him.

[1436] And she's like, fuck you, I'll do it.

[1437] want, moves into her own moves out, that's Susie, and she doesn't believe them, she thinks they're all lying, and Fritz is, like, you know, kind of making her really paranoid about stuff, because he's like, I'm in the CIA, I know things and, like, tells her things.

[1438] I don't know what.

[1439] He's like, underground is better, stuff like that.

[1440] Yeah.

[1441] Oh, he's played by Harry Hamlin.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] Who's that?

[1444] Oh, did you watch Mad Men?

[1445] Yeah.

[1446] You know later on when the guy with the big glasses came and he's kind of like good looking and it didn't Dimple in his chin.

[1447] What did he play?

[1448] It's Lisa Rinnah's husband.

[1449] Oh, next door neighbors?

[1450] No. Real housewife?

[1451] Nope.

[1452] He's a real housewife?

[1453] He's like most interesting house husband.

[1454] That's who plays him.

[1455] So Kelly McGillis and Harry Hamlin are fucking.

[1456] And then...

[1457] I wish I had my phone.

[1458] If I showed you a picture of Harry Hamlin, and you know exactly who it is.

[1459] Okay.

[1460] he's can sorry can one person just say the TV show that he's known best for LA law LA law shit thanks you guys actually were very organized with that I really appreciate it it was like the eight strongest people in the front were like I'll take it LA law nailed it fucking nailed it they did it and too bad for them I don't know what the fuck no I remember my mom watching it as a kid and being like this is the most boring show and it had the word law in it and I was in a courtroom, and I was like, I don't want to, I want to watch Pee Wee's Playouts.

[1461] Yeah, it was very like, this is what adults do while you're at school.

[1462] Like, who gives a shit?

[1463] But Harry Hamlin is, you would recognize him because he's insanely beautiful, almost like a woman, but his eyes are very small.

[1464] Sounds great.

[1465] Oh, come.

[1466] Those tiny eyes.

[1467] Tiny, tiny eyes.

[1468] That's what Karen loves a guy.

[1469] Love a guy with a great head of hair, teeny tiny, beady little eyes.

[1470] Just little, the smallest possible eyes.

[1471] eyes on a man. Does he look like our doctor?

[1472] Um, not really.

[1473] Okay.

[1474] Doesn't matter in Made for TV, Movieville.

[1475] Okay.

[1476] Okay.

[1477] So, Fritz's paranoia starts to spread to his cousin lover, Susie.

[1478] She becomes convinced that her ex -husband, husband Tom Lynch, is going to take her sons away from her, which isn't wrong because he's trying to get visitation rights for them and to see them more.

[1479] I would hope he was doing something.

[1480] Yeah.

[1481] I don't think anyone kind of realized what was going on yet because he was keeping, uh, she was keeping her kids from Tom all the way over in Albuquerque.

[1482] Um, and she, so she even further limited contact with the boys than there already had been phone calls are super brief.

[1483] Any letters and packages that, uh, Tom or Tom's mother, remember who hates, yeah, who hates her, were thrown right into the trash.

[1484] And they would say to the kids like, if they, if the mom, if the grandma, like, sent cookies, she'd be like, they might be poison and would like throw them away.

[1485] Yeah, real shitty.

[1486] Really shitty.

[1487] Um, and Susie, then made all these legal hurdles so that Tom couldn't see the kids.

[1488] It's rumored that Aunt Judge Susan put some of those into place.

[1489] Oh, no. It was just like a little bit like...

[1490] I thought she was the voice of reason in this story.

[1491] There really isn't one.

[1492] Okay, shit.

[1493] If there's a voice of reason, I think it's Tom's family.

[1494] So, because Dolores wasn't wrong, it turns out, in hating Susie.

[1495] That's right.

[1496] You know what I mean?

[1497] so Tom like the court made it so that when the boys would fly to Albuquerque to stay with their dad that they wouldn't travel alone and made him by Susie a plane ticket there to drop them off there to come back there to pick him up again and he was paying alimony and child support as well and starting his dental practice so it was really hard to see them but he wanted to see them more but under the agreement that he had already signed way back when, before shit went cuckoo, he could only see them on holidays and several weeks each summer, which is hard on a kid.

[1498] That's what we did, and it's not fun, you guys.

[1499] That sucks.

[1500] We didn't have to fly anywhere.

[1501] Like, dad lived across the street.

[1502] And it sucked.

[1503] Okay.

[1504] You'll read all about it in our book.

[1505] Good plug, good plug.

[1506] Thank you.

[1507] It's real depressing.

[1508] No, it's not.

[1509] It's fun.

[1510] Da -da -da -da -da.

[1511] Okay, so so by the time Tom is able to actually spend time with the boys he has a new wife named Kathy and they see the kid I think kids after I think like two years of not seeing them and they're like holy shit like these kids look fucking underweight dirty hair they're they're all unkempt nails camped um thank you and Tom and then they when they get to albuquerque to spend time with them they're like these are the vitamins that are uncle for our fritz makes us take and we have to take them, or we get in trouble.

[1512] So they have to take vitamins, but Mone makes them take a shower.

[1513] Yeah, yeah.

[1514] Because Fritz is fucking obsessed with vitamins too, and he would carry them around at his doctor's bag, and anytime someone's like, I have a sprained ankle, he'd be like, take these vitamins, which I think nowadays is okay.

[1515] I have a good friend whenever I'm like, what's wrong with me?

[1516] She'd like, take these vitamins, and she's right, but...

[1517] Does she wear a doctor's coat?

[1518] She doesn't, and I also go to the doctor, the real doctor.

[1519] So, where am I?

[1520] Kids, then, then, okay.

[1521] So Tom's like, okay, fuck this shit.

[1522] I need to work harder to get these kids in my custody.

[1523] Yes, you do, Tom.

[1524] Things have gone on long enough.

[1525] He finds out about this cousin Fritz and that they're spending a lot of time together and all this shit.

[1526] Meanwhile, okay, so meanwhile, the real Dr. Clenner, Fritz's dad, dies, which sends Fritz fucking even further.

[1527] off the edge of Lunaticville.

[1528] So, June 1984, here we are.

[1529] The bodies of Tom's mom, Dolores, remember her?

[1530] Yes, I do.

[1531] And Tom's sister, Janie, are discovered by a friend in their home in prospect Kentucky.

[1532] So Dolores is found...

[1533] That was sad.

[1534] Also, anyone who's new to this, she's not applauding because the bodies are found dead.

[1535] She's applauding for prospect.

[1536] She loves prospect Kentucky so much.

[1537] Yes.

[1538] So Dolores is found in the driveway, shot in the back, and then in the head at close range, almost like someone was like laying in wait for her because when she got home from, I think, church.

[1539] And then her body had been there for at least a day, and then the cops followed a trail of blood inside and found Janie, Dolores' 39 -year -old daughter, who, by the blood, blood trial could see where she was running and hiding, like she was being fucking chased its bananas.

[1540] But finally, she had been shot in the neck and killed.

[1541] And there had been, there had been, it made to look like a robbery, as they do.

[1542] And one of the detectives took a look at the scene and said that this was a hit, a pro took these people out.

[1543] But it looked like a robbery, but months went by and the detectives couldn't figure out who had killed the women.

[1544] and during one of the visit to the house investigators found several palm leaves arranged in crosses spread around across the floor so someone's fucking crazy okay so Tom of course is fucking devastated by the murder of his mother and his sister and Susie's mother, Florence, the cold water lady she feels awful about it too so she gets in touch with her former son -in -law and sends her condolences and they kind of start exchanging notes on the shit that they've been separately dealing with with Susie because Susie's been crazy to her family too.

[1545] Yeah.

[1546] And they start exchanging notes and Tom's just like, I just want to get I just want to see my children.

[1547] I know that with divorce, a really important thing is for the parents to get along and for the kids to have, you know, the mother and father.

[1548] And Florence, Susie's mom's like, fucking absolutely.

[1549] So they start to team up together a little bit.

[1550] And Florence Newsom and her husband, Bob, Susie's mom and dad, then agreed a testifying court on Tom's behalf.

[1551] Oh, shit.

[1552] Which Susie fucking isn't okay with.

[1553] It's temper tantrum time.

[1554] Exactly.

[1555] Okay.

[1556] There's not enough cold water in the fucking world.

[1557] Suddenly, suddenly, after 40 years, that heart murmur is back with a vengeance.

[1558] Right.

[1559] So, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, Susie insists that she needs to keep sole custody of the boys because, as the cop said, she thinks that Tom's family is involved with the mob.

[1560] The cops said it was a hit.

[1561] And she was like, so Tom's family was involved with the mob.

[1562] Tom can't have the kids.

[1563] And she also, Fritz convinces her that Tom over in Albuquerque is like doing drug running shit and like the kids can't be with him.

[1564] She's just like paranoid as fucking believing all this crazy stuff.

[1565] And she knew all of that because Fritz told her about it.

[1566] So the hearing, this is scheduled for the week of May 26, 1985, but about a week before, on May 19th, three more bodies are discovered in northwestern Winston, Winston, So, the first two bodies were Bob and his mother, Hattie, who had been shot.

[1567] So Bob is Susie's dad, and his mother, they had been shot, and then the third victim, who the killer had shown far much more hatred in killing was Florence, Coldwater, Florence.

[1568] Right, the mother.

[1569] Yes.

[1570] So she had been shot, and stabbed and her neck had been slit.

[1571] God.

[1572] So, yeah, someone was fucking pissed at her.

[1573] So she was discovered she had been posed in a praying position too.

[1574] Creepy.

[1575] So creepy.

[1576] So fucking little bit of trivia.

[1577] The next door neighbor was just like how could this happen to the Newsome's?

[1578] The next door neighbor was Maya Angelou.

[1579] What?

[1580] Don't work.

[1581] She didn't do it.

[1582] This fucking story is left turn.

[1583] It is left turns central.

[1584] I have never in my life taken so many left turns.

[1585] What in the living fuck is going on?

[1586] Totally.

[1587] And still I rise.

[1588] That's when she wrote and still I rise.

[1589] Right?

[1590] Tragedy comes art. Okay, so the cops are investigating.

[1591] They find out about these other parents in the same family area who had died the year before.

[1592] They were like, this is fucking weird.

[1593] And they find a friend.

[1594] friend of Fritzies who also lived in the area named Ian Perkins.

[1595] So he's questioned by Winston -Stalin detectives and he was like, okay, I have something to tell you and this is weird.

[1596] He goes.

[1597] Everybody said it in that voice too.

[1598] Okay, I have something to tell you.

[1599] Listen, I'm going to love it with you.

[1600] Fritz turns out, he says, Fritz is in the CIA and I helped him with a hit he had to do.

[1601] Oh no. He fell for the CIA bullshit?

[1602] Yeah, and he also immediately cracked when local cops questioned him too, which is like, and he wanted to be in the CIA so badly, which is why helped Fritz, but, like, I think he immediately lost his membership.

[1603] No. Probably when he cracked.

[1604] I was going to say, I hope he knows you don't get into the CIA from your hometown.

[1605] It usually doesn't work that way.

[1606] Snitches?

[1607] The saying isn't snitches get into the CIA.

[1608] That's right.

[1609] It's something else.

[1610] I can't remember.

[1611] Yes, I can't.

[1612] So, da -da -da -da -da.

[1613] Okay, so Fritz had confided with Ian that he worked for the CIA and that he needed Ian to help him.

[1614] He had given him, he had been given an assignment to wipe out a communist cell.

[1615] So basically what he told Ian is that he needed to get him to drop him off in a location and come back and pick him up an hour later and he was going to make the kill.

[1616] And if he did it, he would put in a good word for him at the CIA.

[1617] Because it's mostly, it's a merit -based system, but they do take strong recommendations at the CIA.

[1618] So basically, Ian drives Brits to the old town neighborhood of Winston -Salem, drops him off a half a mile from where Bob Florence and Hattie lived.

[1619] And an hour later picked him up and said that the mission was a success.

[1620] And that was the night that that, shocker, he killed.

[1621] Got it.

[1622] Got it.

[1623] Yeah.

[1624] So Ian was like fucking flabbergasted when he found out that Fritz is in a doctor or in the CIA.

[1625] And so he agrees to wear a wire talking to Fritz.

[1626] So he does it a couple times.

[1627] And Fritz doesn't admit it, but he essentially is like, everything's fine, don't worry.

[1628] And then he met with him on June 3rd at the final time, and he told Ian that he would write out a statement for him saying he had nothing to do with the murders, which essentially was the only real confession he gave.

[1629] And then he said, Fritz said before he left, I've got things to do, I won't see you again.

[1630] And he fucking drives off in his blazer.

[1631] And then he pulled his doctor's coat over his head and just stood there pretending he was gone.

[1632] Because this motherfucker is insane.

[1633] Okay, now...

[1634] I don't see...

[1635] I'm gone now.

[1636] Did it work?

[1637] Now she gets fucking bananas.

[1638] Okay.

[1639] Now?

[1640] Yeah.

[1641] Is Maya Angela coming back?

[1642] Please, God.

[1643] Okay.

[1644] Fritz drives off in his blazer.

[1645] You all right?

[1646] And, of course, a bunch of unmarked police cars follow him.

[1647] They've been following him.

[1648] They've been fucking eyeing, Susie's house, Susie's apartment.

[1649] It's in Greensboro.

[1650] Wonderful area.

[1651] A friendly avenue.

[1652] Tell them near a address.

[1653] What?

[1654] Do they?

[1655] Best street in Greenboro.

[1656] Yes, everyone knows that.

[1657] So detectives have staked a place out, and when Fritz gets home, they see Fritz and Susie running back and forth in their apartment, loading up supplies into the blazer.

[1658] and then Detective C little John and Jim who are 9 and 11 years old taken into the blazer they're wearing camo um scary so I mean and fashionable yeah I mean I have to say in the 80s every 9 and 11 real boy I had ever met in my life wore camo all the time it was kind of a thing but it's a there's a CIA element to it that we don't like it's problematic it's a problematic so the blazer takes off with the family in it and the fucking law officers are like, pursue him.

[1659] And finally, when they try to get the car to stop, when they're at an intersection, Fritz spins the blazer around, fucking later days in the other direction.

[1660] Before they know it, he's pulling a fucking 9mm uzi submachine gun from the window and firing it at them.

[1661] One officer gets shot in the shoulder and the chest, but his wife, I'm sure at one point he was like, my wife's such a nag, she makes me wear a fucking bulletproof vest all the time.

[1662] And then later he was like, I love you, I'm sorry.

[1663] I'll do everything you say from now on.

[1664] That's amazing.

[1665] So he's shooting at the fucking everyone in pursuit of him.

[1666] The civilians all over the place.

[1667] One lady fucking apparently dives off her lawnmower.

[1668] It was my Angela.

[1669] Just for the sake of the movie we're writing together.

[1670] What poem does she write when she's hiding?

[1671] Never mind.

[1672] Me and my lawn mower.

[1673] Thank him.

[1674] I don't know.

[1675] Yeah, that wasn't a good one.

[1676] I wasn't going to bring hillbillies back up, though, so.

[1677] Okay.

[1678] Chase continues, and they head toward the farm that his family had near Eden, and he kept that place stocked with weapons and explosives.

[1679] Like, that was their fucking end -of -day's bunker that they were headed towards.

[1680] The officers remain in close pursuit, and so later what's said is that they see some commotion or struggling in the cab of the vehicle and then two shots went off followed quickly by the entire fucking blazer blowing the fuck oh my god um the blast is so powerful that the blazer was lifted off the ground as high as the telephone poles oh shit before slamming back down so susy had been sitting on top of this bomb and it's hard to tell if they detonated themselves or if the shots that were fired was what maybe i I don't know.

[1681] Does anyone know bombs?

[1682] It blew it up, you know, triggered a thing.

[1683] I bet it was number two.

[1684] Yeah.

[1685] And I bet like it's, he sucks.

[1686] He can't make great bombs probably, you know?

[1687] That was the one thing he was good at doing.

[1688] So her, she was sitting on the bomb.

[1689] So her lower body is gone.

[1690] She's fucking dead.

[1691] Do you want to, this isn't gory, but do you want to see the?

[1692] Well, I mean.

[1693] Oh, fuck.

[1694] This is when I'm scrolling late at night going, what murder should I do this week?

[1695] I don't know what murder.

[1696] I'm like looking at photos, and I see this, and I'm like, what the fuck?

[1697] I have to do that murder.

[1698] How bananas is that?

[1699] It's insane.

[1700] And that's like a street that people, that's like, that's a street.

[1701] Yeah.

[1702] There's the record crate.

[1703] Okay.

[1704] It's awful.

[1705] Fritz is thrown.

[1706] Dan Davidson, who's the lead detective from Kentucky, runs him, and he tries to get a confession from him, but he can't get him anything before he dies.

[1707] Sorry, Fritz lived?

[1708] He got, no, he dies, but he was alive.

[1709] Oh, when he, oh, like on the scene?

[1710] Yeah, yeah, like, shit, okay, fuck.

[1711] It's crazy.

[1712] So he dies, too.

[1713] Jim and John are found dead.

[1714] They each had a shot in the head, those two shots that were fired, but even before that, it was determined that they had been given cyanide.

[1715] And Susie, before this, had said to her friends, like, I don't know what I'll do Fritz, I have cyanide, so if anything ever happens to him for me and the kids.

[1716] Like, she was so obsessed with him, and, like, he had been, he'd been, like, had other girlfriends, one of whom he, like, had, when she dumped him when he tried to get her to do a suicide pack with him.

[1717] So, like, he was fucking nuts, and so is she.

[1718] She is obsessed, yeah.

[1719] So, um, it was discovered that their mother, Susie was the one who shot them, but that seems debated and hard to tell.

[1720] detectives later found evidence that Susie had participated in the murders of Dolores and Jane Lynch, her ex -mother -in -law.

[1721] There's lots of people who criticize any and all of the four jurisdictions that were of law enforcement who were working in the case for not stopping for it sooner, like when they saw the kids walk into the car.

[1722] But when they looked in Susie's house, I mean, there were guns everywhere, so this could have ended up this way no matter what.

[1723] Right.

[1724] It's a worst -case scenario, actually.

[1725] Yeah, right.

[1726] So Aunt Judge Susan is also criticized because she made it harder for Tom to intervene with the boys' welfare.

[1727] That's just conjecture.

[1728] I don't know if that's true.

[1729] And to her death, she denied that her niece had anything to do with it and was just a victim of Fritz.

[1730] But even with the evidence of the contrary, she wouldn't listen to it.

[1731] Finally, Tom Lynch, the dad, refused to let John and Jim be buried in North Carolina.

[1732] So they were laid to rest in New Mexico where he said was the last place they were truly happy.

[1733] and that's the bitter blood murders.

[1734] Unbelievable.

[1735] Oh, my God.

[1736] It's so much more fun when the doomsday preppers just keep on prepping and everything's just kind of okay.

[1737] It's so much better.

[1738] There's got to be a large percentage of them that just happens with, right?

[1739] They just prep forever.

[1740] They just keep on prepping.

[1741] Hey, do we have time for our hometown?

[1742] Fast.

[1743] Vince, is it the fast signal?

[1744] Vince went, we kind of have time.

[1745] Let's say hi to Vince really quick.

[1746] There he is.

[1747] We have a Let's Keep It Tight.

[1748] He is managing this tour.

[1749] Thank you.

[1750] And us.

[1751] You're taking that mic?

[1752] Keep it tight.

[1753] All right.

[1754] So who's the least drunk person here who has a hometown?

[1755] I guess the person who's swinging her sweater around probably isn't it?

[1756] That's her shirt.

[1757] Should we put, how are we going to do this?

[1758] You guys know the rules.

[1759] Just do it.

[1760] Oh, yeah.

[1761] You know the rules.

[1762] You can't be too drunk.

[1763] It needs to be a good story worth listening to.

[1764] It needs to be short tonight.

[1765] It has to be really quick.

[1766] Okay.

[1767] So if you have some long thing, zip it.

[1768] It has to be a quickie.

[1769] It's her, yeah.

[1770] Okay.

[1771] But you're, you are.

[1772] I said, is it quick?

[1773] And she goes, I promise and double finger crossed.

[1774] So you're in fucking trouble if it's not.

[1775] It's her fucking fault.

[1776] Okay.

[1777] Uh -oh.

[1778] Oh, she's drunk.

[1779] No, she's.

[1780] Here, let's sign this.

[1781] I am not even drunk.

[1782] Yeah, right.

[1783] Okay.

[1784] Still.

[1785] Hi.

[1786] Hi, Anna.

[1787] Anna, oh my God.

[1788] So amazing to me. Hi, Anna.

[1789] Amazing.

[1790] Turn your phone off.

[1791] You're not allowed to read.

[1792] I'm a mom.

[1793] You're not allowed to read.

[1794] Do you need that?

[1795] No. Just, well, maybe well, no. She brings her wallet.

[1796] Do you not trust those guys?

[1797] You don't know.

[1798] You got to carry everything.

[1799] Okay.

[1800] All right.

[1801] Where are you from?

[1802] I'm from Scotland, North Carolina.

[1803] Okay.

[1804] Tiny town What's it Scotland Neck They're all from here Scotland Neck up in the balcony Okay quickly This is fucking terrifying Isn't it nice?

[1805] So crazy Sorry, heart's being fast No, mine too So Long story short My mother's first cousin Elizabeth Known as Libby House In Scotland Neck well she she got hitched and she moved down to Georgia and this was kind of like a debutant lady very southern very sweet lady she moved on down and husband you know I don't know their relationship was weird there was some sort of rumors going around saying they had a very open marriage that was kind of very not done yeah not done in this area at all.

[1806] And so that was going on.

[1807] And then he had a business and she was part of the bookkeeping.

[1808] And so she started embezzling money.

[1809] Okay.

[1810] Without him knowing?

[1811] Without him knowing?

[1812] A lot of money.

[1813] A lot of money.

[1814] Two million dollars.

[1815] So she's embezzling money.

[1816] And he goes missing.

[1817] So everyone's like, where is he?

[1818] And they're asking her, and she's going, oh, you know, he's in the hospital.

[1819] And he's taking some time.

[1820] Or he's coming back sometime.

[1821] They don't know when he's coming back.

[1822] And so that's kind of where she screwed up there.

[1823] So she didn't have her story straight.

[1824] Turns out during Fourth of July, during the fireworks, she went and shot him in the head a couple of times.

[1825] Like during the fireworks?

[1826] to like hide the noise.

[1827] This is, I'm telling you guys, this is from a, we're a really small town, okay?

[1828] This is a place where this kind of thing doesn't happen.

[1829] Like, so she definitely, I mean, this was, I don't know if it was planned.

[1830] It couldn't have been planned.

[1831] How could anyone do this?

[1832] Well, the $2 million had to be planned, so I feel, yeah, I probably had something to do with it.

[1833] Yeah.

[1834] But anyways.

[1835] so three shots in the head.

[1836] So, So everyone's wondering where this guy is, and the police are absolutely asking her now at this point.

[1837] Her, his family's wondering, everyone's wondering, where is this guy?

[1838] And it turns out he is buried in the backyard.

[1839] This woman was 5 foot 5.

[1840] She was 115 pounds.

[1841] This, her husband, 6, 5, something like that, 240 took her, this is a terrible.

[1842] It's a terrible thing.

[1843] It's all terrible.

[1844] That's why we're here.

[1845] It's all fucking terrible.

[1846] But it took her two days and two trips to Home Depot to get him to the back.

[1847] She dug it herself?

[1848] Okay, so how did she get caught?

[1849] So she got caught because her story.

[1850] Her story wasn't straight.

[1851] The police realized that, yes, he's not around.

[1852] He's not coming back.

[1853] There's $2 million missing what's happening.

[1854] And so they zeroed in on her, basically, because her story was the story, people were asking where he was, and she was sitting in the car.

[1855] And the worst part about it was, when they went to ask her, why did you kill him?

[1856] What happened?

[1857] She said, I wanted to save him from the embarrassment of me embezzling the money.

[1858] So I just killed him and then buried him, so it's fine now.

[1859] In a way, is she in jail?

[1860] She's in jail.

[1861] For life?

[1862] Yeah, well, I don't know what her sentence is looking like, but I called my mom.

[1863] That's your aunt.

[1864] And it's your mom's sister?

[1865] Yeah, well, my, yes.

[1866] My mom, but my actual mom, who I call my mom today, this is my mom who has passed away that is related to her.

[1867] Anyways, I called her, my mom who, my mom who I call my mom now, who's the town gossip, she knows what's up.

[1868] I was like, hey, I was like, give me some more on Libby, because I'm going to this cool podcast show tonight, and I got to know the deets.

[1869] And she was like, yeah, don't make her sound bad.

[1870] I won't make her sound any worse than a murderer.

[1871] Oh, my God, that's my husband for watching my baby tonight.

[1872] Oh, my God.

[1873] Thank you, dangles, sir.

[1874] We're giving you a point that should be, the new thing in the rules is.

[1875] Jesus, swallet.

[1876] scaring the shit out of me i honestly thought you were yelling walriss i swear to god does she have her phone right of our fucking truly perfect crowd honestly durham you nailed this shit we were just saying in the dressing room before you got ready no we know we have to hurry up but we really love this job we're so fucking grateful that you guys like this podcast so much we're so grateful for your constant support and we're grateful how much you guys love each other it means so much to us to watch these murdering our communities grow up and that you're all meeting each other and hang it's just the fucking coolest thing in the world.

[1877] Oh, and there is a hangout tonight after the show at...

[1878] The layers of dignity is...

[1879] They're holding a fundraiser at the full -stream brewery, so let's go fucking...

[1880] Go there after and raise some money for a great cause.

[1881] Sexy.

[1882] And don't!