135 - The Multiverse Trajectory

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Bye.

[17] Bye and welcome.

[18] This is my favorite murder, and we're here to provide you with all your true.

[19] crime slash comedy needs via podcast in your earhole.

[20] That's right.

[21] Any content that you're looking for that involves true crime and comedy, this is what, hi, we're here.

[22] That's it.

[23] We've got the audio version to please you.

[24] Stop asking.

[25] You've got it.

[26] Hey, let's kick this off.

[27] Oh, God.

[28] Let's just do this.

[29] Yeah.

[30] So with heavy hearts, we're quite heartbroken that last week.

[31] we had to shut down our Facebook page, but essentially we could no longer be responsible for the things that were happening on it.

[32] First and foremost, pretty much first and last, I would say was somebody posted a racist post on our Facebook page.

[33] That's kind of the beginning and the end of it.

[34] Everything that happened after that was because there was a racist post on our Facebook page.

[35] There was fighting.

[36] But we went in there and went, there's no way to solve this for us, because that's unacceptable to us.

[37] We are trying to have a zero tolerance policy about racism.

[38] And then we realize if it's not us doing it, then we can't be responsible for what happens.

[39] I mean, if our names are still attached to it, then it is our responsibility.

[40] That's right.

[41] And so it's just gotten too big and those kinds of incidents.

[42] Like, we just don't want that anywhere near us.

[43] We can't afford it and we don't want it.

[44] My favorite murder is a fucking open, diverse fucking audience, we welcome everyone and we have literally no patience in our lives and in this podcast for any kind of fucking racism and intolerance.

[45] Making mistakes about or being culturally insensitive is definitely something we have done in the past and that we probably will do in the future because we're two white girls from a lower middle class background.

[46] Right.

[47] So we have our own biases and ignorances that we work through on this podcast with, with our listeners.

[48] Thank God.

[49] And that we're happy to learn.

[50] Like, I love how much we've learned through this podcast of things we shouldn't do and, and, and did wrong and didn't even realize.

[51] And, you know, it's an amazing learning experience.

[52] Yeah.

[53] And we are continuing to learn.

[54] We're not going to stop.

[55] And so basically, we just, we just have to, we make enough mistakes by ourselves.

[56] We can't, we can't be responsible for mistakes other people make.

[57] I think overall, for me the most important thing is it's very important that this community is united it's it's a very powerful group of people that listen to this podcast that have reached out to each other and that have connected to each other and whatever problems that that we all might face and stumbling blocks that we all might hit along the way let's continue to reach toward each other because we're stronger together and it's really a powerful thing that we're beginning to move toward each other and I think the effort, I think that's just the key thing that we continue to do that.

[58] And from what I've seen, that seems like what the majority of people want to do and are interested in doing and are putting work toward doing.

[59] So we thank you very much for your patience and we apologize for the hurt feelings and some of the anger that's out there.

[60] It's not what we want.

[61] It's nothing we can control.

[62] And we just, we hope to do better in the future.

[63] Yeah.

[64] And I just want to address really quickly.

[65] the teepee design, which is one of those things that, you know, as fucking culturally woke as we believe we are, we just completely fucked up and missed.

[66] And I take total fucking, you know, it's culturally appropriation.

[67] It's something that we now realize and will be a lot more attuned to in the future.

[68] We took down the teepee design.

[69] It's now just a tent.

[70] And we're also donating $10 ,000 to the First Nations Development Institute, you know, as an apology.

[71] And we're, we're sorry for that.

[72] And, you know, in the future, I hope we make better decisions.

[73] I mean, that's the way we learn.

[74] We talked to several people who also have popular podcasts.

[75] And my favorite comment was somebody said, I can't believe you even still had a Facebook page in your name.

[76] It's like 22 ,000 people?

[77] No, two hundred to, two hundred and thirty -eight thousand people.

[78] That's, it's way to big.

[79] Too many people.

[80] And, yeah, I mean, I think we went much longer than the average.

[81] fan site goes without infighting and the fold.

[82] But anyway, I'm sad because that was a good place for me to go late at night with insomnia.

[83] Like people would post these links to stories.

[84] But now we have the fan cult.

[85] There's also a forum on the fan cult where you can post stuff.

[86] And that is a little bit of a needer, more contained group of conversations and links and discussions.

[87] Well, and we have direct control over it.

[88] Right.

[89] I think that's the key.

[90] All right.

[91] Well, here's my corrections corner from two weeks ago when I did the Gainesville Ripper and man I got a lot of flack for this and I totally understand listen everyone I went to community fucking college and I dropped the fuck out you pissed off some college people I think you went you planted yourself right in the center of some kind of a some kind of a rivalry Florida rivalry totally did you because and I remember I remember getting to the like you of whatever and I was like oh shit Georgia you have two choices to make like just fucking say one thing you should have looked this up.

[92] And I said that it was Florida State when really it was University of Florida in Gainesville.

[93] Fucking shit, which of course is represented by their mascot, Karen, the Leafy Sea Dragon.

[94] Exactly.

[95] So go Leafy Sea Dragons.

[96] I'm so sorry that, you know, we fucked this up and we, we meaning me. Yeah, you try to drag me down into that shit.

[97] Karen should have known.

[98] I have to say it.

[99] It did hit my ear odd.

[100] No, I have no idea what's going on most of the time um that's true um okay what so you are watching fucking finally watching succession oh my god how good of it first of all karen karen koken my faith he needs to win a hundred million emys make new emys here's the beauty and i think if you're at trying to be a film or television actor if you could just please show us that you're having a great time being that person sometimes those giggles that he lets out when he's just about to be an asshole are like the most delightful thing that happens to me all day.

[101] It's like he knows he was made for this character.

[102] Yes.

[103] And also those personalities are they're like tropes of people that you encounter in life so often where so often I'll be in a in some kind of a business or have been I should say in business situations in in my career and watched a dude talk like that and then like I think I'm being funny but I'm actually being a monster asshole but I'm doing it under the guise of humor and why aren't you laughing along 11 year old boy or whoever they decide you don't get the joke anymore like it's your problem for not understanding the joke or yeah it's a totally it's not a joke it's just someone being a passive aggressive and they go dude I'm fucking with you and then you're just like in your mind you just check off like never be in the room with that guy again I'm kidding I'm kidding.

[104] I'm kidding.

[105] Why don't you get it?

[106] Calm down.

[107] I'm kidding.

[108] It's just a it's a bevy of assholes.

[109] Also, the one and only Mr. Darcy, Matthew McFadden is in that and he has, you told me this.

[110] Sorry, I'm repeating what you told me. No, but I was, but I just like, I'm so glad you know now because all I could say was like, oh my fucking God, oh my fucking God.

[111] Mr. Darcy has an American accent and he's one of the bigger assholes on the show.

[112] Just, and I just wait.

[113] The whole season, he sucks so bad.

[114] It's so beautiful how much.

[115] She sucks.

[116] It's a study in people who suck and why.

[117] And then the big brother, what's his name from Ferris Pellers Day Off?

[118] Oh, oh, Alan Ruck.

[119] Like those, oh, God.

[120] When he told the little girl I have an aquifer and you can have, I'll share it with you.

[121] It's just, there's everything about it is amazing.

[122] Truly, truly, one of my favorite fucking shows.

[123] And, okay, my show that I want to fucking mention for no reason, just to tell everyone.

[124] Sure.

[125] There's a show called Castle Rock that's out now.

[126] Okay.

[127] And it's set in the, in the Stephen, King Multiverse, which I read off of their Wikipedia.

[128] Which you also live in.

[129] Yes.

[130] Which means that.

[131] So it's Stephen King.

[132] I don't know.

[133] He's like kind of somewhere, part of it somewhere.

[134] God, does he write at Stephen Leachuk?

[135] That I'm not fucking this up.

[136] So they'll be going through old newspapers and then the living castle rock and it'll be like one Easterite that says like, Rabbit Dog, trolls town or whatever.

[137] But it's produced by JJ Abrams.

[138] And it's this like creepy, like something happened to this town and this guy played by Andre Holland from Moonlight as a kid and like did this thing happen or didn't this thing happen and fucking um bill scars guard who might be the hottest scars guard which scars guard is that it's a one it's a new one they created a new one in a fucking laboratory i swear to god and he's like did he escape from west world and come over to castle rock he's like bony and like angular and super fucking hot i got to say and i you know i support the whole scars guard family.

[139] They've been great to us.

[140] They like to be called clan.

[141] They're a clan.

[142] And they've been so good to kill Garys, but that's not my type at all.

[143] He's not, he's not, he isn't.

[144] He isn't a tall, skinny blonde.

[145] Wait, well, that other one isn't, okay, yeah, I guess he's, but the other Scars guard, the one who is in like Wormwood, he's kind of nebushy.

[146] I didn't see Wormwood.

[147] I might be getting my, what's the one?

[148] Where it's the one where he, where he, it's like the documentary kind of thing.

[149] Right, right.

[150] Right.

[151] You got like LSD in the fucking military and shit?

[152] All right, man, tangent.

[153] Sorry, I totally forgot about.

[154] Wormwood, I just wrote a thing in my mind.

[155] I was like, did Neil Gaiman write Wormwood?

[156] Isn't that worms?

[157] And Melanie Linsky, who was in togetherness, so I fucking love her so much.

[158] Yes, and she's from a ridge from Heavenly Creatures.

[159] Oh, right.

[160] She's the girl with Kate Winslet and Heavenly Creatures.

[161] Oh, right.

[162] I just like watching her on screen a lot.

[163] So it's a really good show.

[164] Melanie Linsky is a great, unsung, great actress.

[165] I think she's being sung on fucking Castle Rock.

[166] Oh, good.

[167] Well, now I have to watch it.

[168] Yeah, yeah.

[169] And also, because you and I've talked about this, but Stephen King books were so my thing.

[170] Like, when I was 12 and I realized I could read a book that was very easy for my eyes to read.

[171] Like, I didn't have to concentrate too hard.

[172] Complicated.

[173] But it was very adult.

[174] And it was so, like, it was so visual.

[175] It was so cinematic.

[176] Yes.

[177] No one can, I feel like no one.

[178] can do it like him in that way.

[179] Like when I read the stand, I was in the stand.

[180] The world was ending because of the flu.

[181] It was so real.

[182] 14 year old existence was just Stephen King book after Stephen King book.

[183] Yeah.

[184] And it's just, it was amazing.

[185] I had to hide mine and pretend I was reading Judy Bloom.

[186] My mom didn't care, but my dad'd be like, why is that book have a skull on the front of it?

[187] Why can't you sleep and you're scared out of your fucking mind?

[188] My brother in high school named his stupid like sweet dumb mutt dog kujo it was the funniest thing because it was like the sweetest dog you've ever met I saw him as a puppy and he was just like hey and my brother's like his name's kujo ash her coo was filmed there's one part where they're driving out to the mechanics ranch and it's filmed in petaluma oh shit yeah it's filmed on bodega avenue like on the way out to my house and when you know that came out and whenever it was I was probably 14 the pride that we all felt we're like look it's our street it was just so exciting i bet let's all this week watch stand by me again just to have a moment of our nostalgia and our youth i don't like that movie that is one of oh my god listen corey feldman i was a cori feldman freak as a child were you yeah because he was jewish so i thought it was like oh he's jewish and i like that that fucking river phoenix oh he is dreamboat see river phoenix in that movie was like when you're a little girl and there's a boy in your school and he's like a little man he does everything manly except smoke cigarettes but like right up to where like they have they have like a deep scratchy voice and they kind of take care of business and they're not mean to little kids and they're kind of like hey hey there's always that one boy that's like that but I think what he did was spawn a generation of girls who grew up to be women that when guys are hot and quiet, they love them.

[189] Really, it just means they're crazy or boring when they're quiet.

[190] But, you know, the idea that, first of all, the idea that that movie is built around, do you want to go see a dead body?

[191] Which is like, of course, I do.

[192] If only there was one girl in that, so I could have really, really gotten in there.

[193] But second only, uh, that fucking scene where Lardas bars at the pie eating contest is like the greatest thing that's ever happened.

[194] It's the best.

[195] Life's changing.

[196] It's so.

[197] It's so great.

[198] My dad used to talk about that scene constantly.

[199] It was his favorite.

[200] I mean, it's kind of fat shaming, but he won in the end.

[201] It's kind of what?

[202] Fat shaming, but, you know, it's body positive.

[203] It's body positive.

[204] It's so body positive.

[205] He won't in the end.

[206] And then also, because our young Jerry O 'Connell, who in the movie is a little fat guy, grew up to be Mr. Atlas, rock solid body, body, body.

[207] Can I just say I follow Jerry O 'Connell on Instagram.

[208] and he and Rebecca Romaine just seem like the fucking nicest people.

[209] And so funny.

[210] And so normal and adorable, but like the most beautiful people you've ever seen.

[211] But like they're just, they seem so cool.

[212] Once again, it's like people actually having a good time with their fame and fortune.

[213] They should fight Chrissy Teigen and John Lynch to see who's a cooler couple.

[214] Wouldn't that be funny?

[215] They should have a cool fight.

[216] Yeah.

[217] shit i felt like i had something else to tell you this that the other there's uh oh there's a bunch of on the fan cult uh site we're posting weekly on friday's unboxing videos of us opening what is now a fucking like tower of unopened gifts in my loft you guys send us so many rad presents it's always christmas up here in the pod loft and i think we just filmed one the other day we filmed a bunch of them for them a month.

[218] And I think it's some of the best fucking gifts we've ever gotten.

[219] Like, I truly this, I just want everyone to see this shit.

[220] Spoiler alert, there's tiny food.

[221] There's tiny.

[222] Let me just tell you, there's tiny, tiny, the tiniest food you've ever seen.

[223] This is my absolute, like, I started, I literally started crying when I started to this.

[224] Yeah, it's exciting.

[225] Oh, wait, I think I should read this to you.

[226] Okay, great.

[227] Because you'll like it.

[228] It's an email.

[229] Stephen, just hand it to me. Great.

[230] It sounds like the new, on the news, up this just in.

[231] That was absolutely a lie, but I thought it would be fun to say, like, oh, Stephen, just handed me this email, hot off the presses.

[232] The subject line is Food Network Boiling League.

[233] Hey, friends, I'm literally at work right now at the Food Network, listening to the podcast, and you guys talking about having a boiling TV show made me shit my pants.

[234] We love you guys here in the Food Network offices.

[235] Toots come to boil some pasta with us when you're in NY.

[236] That's literally all I have to say, okay, bye.

[237] That was from Casey.

[238] That's nice.

[239] Tell Casey they didn't love me when I had a TV show that they didn't want to fucking Renew.

[240] Hey, listen, I got 20 years of stories like that, baby.

[241] You got to put in your time in this business.

[242] Look at me now.

[243] What I love is...

[244] I have a boiling water show, We both had to go, Stephen handed me, hot up the presses, handed me this email, and I was like, what is this about?

[245] And he's like, remember in the Cleveland show?

[246] I was like, a bowling show.

[247] Why do we have a bowling show?

[248] What do we have bowling?

[249] And then he had to basically remind us of our own jokes and experience.

[250] And I was like, that's funny.

[251] A boiling.

[252] I didn't, like, I didn't mean I'm funny.

[253] I meant like, a boiling show.

[254] It would be great.

[255] I had to say that when you have a podcast and I recommend you start one.

[256] Absolutely.

[257] Absolutely.

[258] Everyone.

[259] Everyone.

[260] Please.

[261] I think the new everyone has a book inside them is everyone has a podcast inside them.

[262] And they truly do.

[263] Yeah.

[264] Record two hour conversations.

[265] And then four weeks later, go ahead and try to remember anything from those conversations.

[266] Which is why, and I don't think we've ever plugged this.

[267] Which is why.

[268] there is a Twitter feed called MFM out of context and some some saint is taking quotes random quotes from all different shows and just tweeting them and it makes me laugh and I hate everything I say and do I don't that's not I don't enjoy normally don't enjoy going back over things to sound so Catholic of you I know and also it's very like you know I'm being very I'm being presentationally like self -loathing right now.

[269] But truly, normally it's painful.

[270] And the other day, I started reading it because somebody retweeted one that I was like, that's funny.

[271] And then I started reading it and I text in Georgia.

[272] I'm like, this shit's funny that we're doing.

[273] I didn't really, I don't know if I was, we're funny.

[274] That was question mark, question mark, question mark.

[275] Have you heard of this?

[276] I guess I haven't been paying attention.

[277] I think it's best I don't pay attention.

[278] We haven't told Karen that any of this is being recorded from the very beginning.

[279] We just, She thinks that the thing, the mic in front of her is actually a cat.

[280] And I just think when people tweet at me and tell me things, I'm like, ooh, they really know me really well.

[281] Yeah.

[282] But instead of the fact that they've listened to my conversations.

[283] Karen thinks every moment of her life is a multiverse and doesn't realize it's just one long trajectory.

[284] I have to say, no, it's a lot of big words there, George.

[285] I have to say that I, right now just had the recovered memory that I thought of the Truman show before the Truman Show because.

[286] That sounds so Truman Show of you.

[287] I know.

[288] And before the person who sued the Truman Show for saying they also wrote the Truman Show earlier.

[289] But when I lived in San Francisco, I had this feeling the way, and this may have had to do with the amount of pot I was smoking and the amount of beer I was drinking every night.

[290] But I always had this feeling that when people walked by me on the street, they didn't, they weren't convincing as like extras in my life.

[291] Yeah, like they're playing a role and they're not doing it very well.

[292] It'd be like, it came to my mind one time I was walking down the street in the mission where we all lived, me and my friends.

[293] And this guy crossed the street, like came from around the corner and crossed the street.

[294] It was like action, extra.

[295] He was so stiff, he was so unnatural.

[296] There was nothing about it that said he was really doing it.

[297] It was his first day of extra work.

[298] Yeah.

[299] I was like, this is fake.

[300] This is all fake.

[301] You're like bullshit, motherfucker.

[302] Get back to one.

[303] Let's try that again.

[304] You know what?

[305] I thought, I must have had some sort of weird.

[306] I had such extreme.

[307] self -conscious anxiety as a child, so I wasn't high on pot and beer yet.

[308] Yeah.

[309] That I, I concocted this idea in my head.

[310] I also wasn't sleeping very well.

[311] Listen, I wasn't crazy.

[312] That I concocted this idea in my head that I, that everyone just played along and felt really bad for me because I had this disease where I was always naked and I was the only one who didn't know it.

[313] Whoa.

[314] And I'd go to school and I did this and everyone was like, don't tell Georgia.

[315] might make you cut this out soon because I seriously I'm paranoid.

[316] But keep talking, just work through it and then you can cut it out later.

[317] I really just had I, that's the extent of my anxiety as a child was I just thought everyone was fucking with me. Right.

[318] Constantly.

[319] Sure.

[320] So I knew everyone was fucking with me and then you just plan for that being the reality of how do you don't, how do you not get fucked with?

[321] Which maybe is why I'm always so naked now.

[322] Like when I answer the hotel room door when you knock on the door and I think it's hilarious to answer it when your friend comes to the door and you happen to be naked just to be like what's it?

[323] So now I'd like, I don't care.

[324] I probably am.

[325] That's still.

[326] It's my favorite joke.

[327] I wish I could explain how my eyes didn't accept what I was seeing because I was like, no, no, people don't do this.

[328] And Georgia's just standing like, hey.

[329] I just don't care.

[330] And it's like, and it was like in the hallway of the hotel.

[331] So I'm bed.

[332] I am betting on no one walking by, you know?

[333] Oh, you were rolling those dice.

[334] I absolutely was.

[335] Also, that was, remember Australia?

[336] We had so much fucking fun on that trip.

[337] That was in a Melbourne.

[338] That was so much fun.

[339] I bought the best clothes.

[340] We were having the best time while simultaneously trying to write that fucking book.

[341] Yeah, you guys, remember that book that you never told you about?

[342] That, so we had, we were like having great fun and traveling and taking in all this great shit.

[343] And at the same time, there was this intense cord of stress running through the whole thing.

[344] Because we were already like three chapters late.

[345] Yes.

[346] You were already immediate, like, right when it started, somehow we were already late.

[347] We were already behind.

[348] And then it was kind of like, what do we have to do it.

[349] Do it.

[350] Do it.

[351] it like every time we try to get together to work your guts out and talk about your paranoia as a child psychopath is so fucking and we were fucking planning which we haven't talked about on the podcast yet a fucking podcast network the whole time too that's right oh now do we get to talk about that yeah it's out yeah exactly that's exactly right that's exactly right all i want to talk about is how many fucking names we tried to come up with for the podcast network i'm not kidding you it took months before we finally got one that wasn't taken already.

[352] Yes.

[353] Well, okay, so, but just for those of you who can't follow this and we understand and we do apologize.

[354] We are now starting our own podcast network, which means that our, this, my favorite murder will be on it as well as a bevy of other podcasts that we can't, we're not allowed to tell you what they are right now, but when we do tell you, you're going to shit.

[355] But here's a, here's an Easter egg of a, of a hint.

[356] Yes, yes, yes.

[357] You want to guess at this.

[358] I love it.

[359] What's going to be?

[360] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[361] We, uh, your friends are going to be on this.

[362] Yeah.

[363] Your friends are going to be on this.

[364] And people that you know are going to be on this podcast network.

[365] It's going to be a my favorite murder multiverse.

[366] There we go.

[367] With fucking Easter eggs.

[368] That what did you, what was the other word you used?

[369] From the trajectory.

[370] From the past, from the beginning of the trajectory.

[371] factory my favorite murder the fucking Easter eggs that are going to come in that guy we did that thing remember that thing we talked about yeah it's going to be happening it's going to it's it's going to take some time we're going to like slowly roll them out not slowly but it's just we're so excited we get to curate this fucking network and we've been working on it for a while and we have been working on it with you in mind with what you might want to listen to and who you might want to be involved with very much every step of the way and we wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for you because you're guys, you guys listening to this podcast, um, and giving us these numbers has enabled us to have people go, oh, we think because you did that, you can do this.

[372] And so it's just as much yours as it is as it is ours.

[373] I know sometimes we say shit like that and it sounds really cheesy, but that one's just a fact.

[374] Yeah.

[375] Like we're, we get to build this because of the support that we have with you guys and we're so, so excited.

[376] Karen, that's exactly right.

[377] Ah!

[378] That's someone we came.

[379] That's like what stupid shit do we say all the time and it was George's idea that's what I love it was my quote but it was your idea oh I didn't know that yeah great you it was like the last minute where they were finally like we wanted it gonna be SSD GM or not yeah we were like no it was down to these ones we were just going back and forth and then we wanted to be red flag media that's Gwen Stefani's company we want I wanted we wanted it to be fucking starling media starling media like like Agent Clary Starling wouldn't that be fucking perfect but there's some like media in don't fucking don't hound them please can you bleep where the I don't know and it was taken leave alone and yeah so then finally it was like oh let's try exactly right with no hope at all because everything look and listen was taken yeah everything was taken all the slogans were taken kill hard just sounds too intense yeah and we're doing more than that we're developing out so anyway yeah that that's a We've been excited to tell you about that for a long time, too.

[380] There's been so much happening in the LBC.

[381] Oh, and here's the ELVIS.

[382] Hi, friend.

[383] Mascot.

[384] I like when you come over to me first, Elvis.

[385] Elvis.

[386] Hi.

[387] Do you ever pull his tail a little bit?

[388] Yeah, yeah, cats like that.

[389] Okay, good.

[390] Yeah, when you give him like a little kind of a, it's almost like a massage.

[391] Yeah, but a little like, get over here.

[392] Not hard, just like a, yeah.

[393] More of a suggestion.

[394] Hi.

[395] Mr. Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[396] Absolutely.

[397] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[398] Exactly.

[399] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[400] But did you know that they also power in person sales?

[401] That's right.

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[403] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

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[412] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[413] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[414] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[415] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[416] Goodbye.

[417] Hey, this is exciting.

[418] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[419] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.

[420] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[421] Who killed Saz?

[422] And were they really after Charles?

[423] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[424] This season, murder hits close to home.

[425] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[426] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[427] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[428] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll.

[429] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[430] Only murders in the building, premieres August 26.

[431] 7th, streaming only on Hulu.

[432] Goodbye.

[433] Okay, do we have any other business?

[434] I think that's it.

[435] So many big pieces of business this week.

[436] Yeah, like Scarsguards.

[437] For example.

[438] It's a real, any big piece of business is a downright scars guard at the end of the day.

[439] I think you're first, right?

[440] Am I?

[441] Yes.

[442] Yep.

[443] You did the current.

[444] I just got, like a heart flutter.

[445] Because you love your story?

[446] I got like a nervous excitement.

[447] I'm glad I'm going first because I'm, like, excited about it.

[448] Okay.

[449] And it's just like, it's going to be something.

[450] Okay.

[451] Wow.

[452] Now I'm excited.

[453] Hold on.

[454] Let me reposition.

[455] Trying towards me. And really face you.

[456] I like to normally, I like to sit parallel to Georgia like we're both on the bus.

[457] And it's just some lady talking to me that I'm not necessarily listening to on the bus.

[458] Karen hasn't made eye contact with me in six months.

[459] I think it's better for our performance.

[460] And now that we have this new couch from article, I don't.

[461] There's like nowhere to sit.

[462] good.

[463] Okay.

[464] And because they don't have stores, shipping, blipping, blipping, shippy, shippy, shippy, promo code murder.

[465] Okay.

[466] All right.

[467] Speaking of Culkins, uh -oh, this is the murder of Angel Melendez.

[468] Yes.

[469] And the, aka the party monster murder.

[470] That's right.

[471] It's fucking right.

[472] It is.

[473] This is this story.

[474] Yep.

[475] How have I not done this already?

[476] Yeah, that's very, that's a good question to ask yourself.

[477] It is.

[478] I was a want to be club kid.

[479] when it was all over.

[480] You had huge junco jeans, right?

[481] I didn't have jinkos, but I had the huge stack shoes.

[482] Oh, okay.

[483] I had, like, you know, Adidas that were stacked up high.

[484] I had, like, the pigtails that were crimped in the, I wanted, but this is a fucking Orange County.

[485] Like, I wanted to be a club kid.

[486] In, like, Manchester.

[487] No, in New York.

[488] Oh, oh, okay.

[489] Yeah.

[490] But, yeah, Manchester works, too.

[491] I was just thinking they, Hacienda.

[492] Yes.

[493] Oh, wait, sorry, really quick.

[494] Did you ever, have you seen, I went down a bit of a killing.

[495] Murphy Hole, as I want to do during my days.

[496] There's video of him as like a 19 -year -old at the Hacienda dancing.

[497] Which, by the way, for those who know what we're talking about, watch 24 -hour party people, the movie first of all.

[498] But when we were in fucking Manchester, we stayed across the street from where the hacienda was, which is now, of course, high -rise buildings.

[499] Yeah.

[500] Okay.

[501] All right.

[502] So back to America.

[503] The record.

[504] So I want to say that I got, there's so much online of information.

[505] But I got a couple of my sources that I want to go ahead and give credit to is there's a shockumentary called Party Monster from 1998.

[506] And then The Guardian, there's a good article by Emma Brocks.

[507] B -R -O -C -K -E -S.

[508] Brokes?

[509] Brocks?

[510] B -R -O -C -E -S?

[511] Brocks, I'd say.

[512] And also there's a fucking American justice about this.

[513] Hell yeah.

[514] You know what I mean?

[515] Like, it's bananas.

[516] No, this story was humongous when it happened.

[517] Yeah.

[518] It was huge.

[519] It was.

[520] so here we go let's let's fucking time and place this motherfucker okay it's the 1980s in york city these crazy mega dance clubs like studio 54 are all the rage for the rich famous assholes who want to see and be seen um and hobnob and do designer drugs and shit like the it's like the fucking rich famous people are all the rage hell yeah um that's karen's scene i'm into it so going to these clubs met seeing legit celebrities like uh share and andy warhol and mcjagger and the guest list is fucking tight it's hard to get into these clubs it's like no there's not for nobody's you know what I mean like you have to be somebody and it fit in perfectly with the Reagan or be hot or be gorgeous yeah it fit in perfectly with the Reagan era values of money and celebrity obsession and excess and vanity but then the 1987 in 1987 the economy crashed yeah it did yeah it did interest rates increased blah but all these things that happened when economy crashes happened you're not going to go into that?

[521] Do you want to hear about debt that had accumulated in the late 1980s began to catch up with people?

[522] Did the Dow Jones Industrial Average move around a little bit?

[523] That's right.

[524] Yeah, the biggest bust in the, okay.

[525] And then, of course, in 1987, the death of Andy Warhol.

[526] So it's kind of like this era came to a motherfucking end.

[527] And this led to the mega clubs closing down.

[528] And in their place, these smaller clubs popped up that were like, fuck the Reagan era values of excess and also remember this is pre Giuliani New York so this was kind of a fucking trash fire there was there was um piles and piles of garbage on the street right it was that kind of thing where there was uh not so many cops and lots and lots of garbage it was it was a very um what's the word like urban fucking anything goes insanity you know be yourself or be a homeless person on crack.

[529] Like, it was just, there is a lot going on at the time.

[530] You didn't go there for tourist stuff.

[531] Tourists didn't go there.

[532] Right.

[533] Nobody was really being tough on crime the way they, they like to become later.

[534] Yeah.

[535] Look it up.

[536] Yeah.

[537] There's videos.

[538] There's all kinds of elements to it.

[539] Right.

[540] So before it became a family -friendly tourist trap.

[541] So there's the CD Anything Goes attitude going on.

[542] So in 1984, into this world comes a 17 -year -old kid from South Bend, Indiana, he arrives and begins hosting small events.

[543] And his name is Michael Aelig.

[544] He says he knew he was gay since he was in kindergarten and, but in fucking South Bend, Indiana, which probably isn't the most tolerant place in the 80s.

[545] So he never felt like, nowhere was.

[546] I mean, that's true.

[547] There was a very intolerant time.

[548] Nowhere was tolerant.

[549] That's right.

[550] So he felt like he never fit in.

[551] He was effeminate.

[552] So he was an easy target.

[553] And his youth was just spent being bullied.

[554] And that included his father disapproving of him and eventually abandoning the family.

[555] His mom seems like she was fucking obsessed with him.

[556] In the party monster shockumentary, she talks about him and she clearly just adores him.

[557] Now, real quick question, is the term shockumentary, am I supposed to have known that?

[558] Is that something that's happened before or is it just this one?

[559] I think it's like part of this is like, it's like party monster, the shockyman.

[560] It's not just a document, you know what I mean?

[561] Okay.

[562] But there are, it's part of the name of this movie.

[563] Oh, got it.

[564] So it's a documentary, but they want to.

[565] There's not like a whole bunch of other shockumentaries I need to rent.

[566] I'm not going to answer that because I don't want to get yelled at.

[567] Got it.

[568] I might be wrong.

[569] That's part of the name of this documentary.

[570] Got it.

[571] So Michael, so he's played, okay, here's how to picture him.

[572] In the movie Party Monster, he's played by McCulley Culkin.

[573] Right.

[574] Perfectly, I think.

[575] He's this skinny, gawky kid.

[576] his mother described him as an honorary honorary little fellow and an instigator so he's just always kind of this like troublemaker he moved to New York and he was finally able to come out of the closet and be the weirdo self that he had always tried to hide so Michael begins to frequent these anything goes clubs like tunnel in Chelsea with a band of these misfit kids they're all outsiders they're fringe people from small towns who can came to look for a group that would accept them.

[577] It almost seems like, now you would think of, like, art students, like, a bunch of fucking artsy, fuck everything.

[578] But, like, they had this playground of New York City in the 80s to do anything they wanted with.

[579] So cool.

[580] Yeah.

[581] So, also, so, like, that's how a lot of, like, trends come about.

[582] Right.

[583] Or kids like that.

[584] Right.

[585] Like, the outsiders that are doing whatever they want and doing drugs.

[586] And then they, for some reason, pick up a thing and put it around their neck and suddenly someone else it and then that's the trend.

[587] And they're doing it to issue the fucking mainstream and fuck you to the mainstream and then it becomes mainstream.

[588] And like everyone also remember probably fucking 20 year olds out there like there's no internet.

[589] There's no fucking, you maybe see some people in magazines doing these things, but you know, it's not this isn't, you know, there's no internet to influence anyone.

[590] Yeah.

[591] When you were trying to be cool in the 80s and 90s, you had to go out and earn it.

[592] You had to go find where the cool people were, copy what they were doing get in try to get in what they were doing get the drugs they were doing like it was all very you had to be like man on the street about it you couldn't just stay home and be like oh no I'm going to get that same tattoo whatever you had to really and also that was back when like being a poser was a real threat you never want to be seen as a poser yeah it's all very clicky so do da da da okay so they're given the moniker the club kids uh and aleig his it's like this mini movement of these outlandishly dressed partygoers, they get inspiration from punk, S &M, and clown styles.

[593] I read in one article, which like kind of is perfect.

[594] They look like these circus, they look like circus freaks from the future trying to look like vintage circus freaks a lot of the time.

[595] I mean, to me, that just says you did your drugs before you got ready.

[596] So like instead of getting ready to go out and then doing drugs on your way out, you did your drugs like at 3 p .m. Yeah.

[597] And then you started going, what if I paint my whole head red?

[598] But here's the thing.

[599] In the beginning and for a lot of years, the drugs weren't really a thing.

[600] Like in all these early videos that they have of them online, they're drinking vodka and orange juice.

[601] Like drugs were not part of the scene at the beginning.

[602] It was almost this like, you know, it was like, what's the word performance art?

[603] And that's what fueled them.

[604] So maybe they fucking did a bump here and there.

[605] But like mostly was just drinking and and kind of just being like hey here's my crazy outfit yeah fuck you yeah that's very fuck you but the drugs weren't really there yet um so they fucking got ready not on drugs probably drunk which explains the painting your face red too i was just trying to relate it to how it used to be for me when i would end up in a weird in some kind of weird turtleneck with a vinyl dress shit that i would always do eyeliner up to your fucking ears oh maybe i'll take an hour and pluck all my eyebrows off because I'm on speed.

[606] Not above it.

[607] They're giving them a moniker club kids.

[608] They wear over the top outfits.

[609] They're often homemade or assembled from thrift store costumes which like, can you imagine the New York City in the 80s thrift stores?

[610] I would die.

[611] The outfits were unique and crazy and they like showed expressions of who they were.

[612] One person just fucking wore a chicken mascot costume.

[613] That's taking the easy way out.

[614] I mean, look.

[615] Do your best.

[616] Allig was accompanied by people like familiar names like RuPaul fucking grew out of this shit neighborhood area Amanda Lapoor of course who's the gorgeous woman And then they all made up And James St. James, I know he's in there He's absolutely in this story If you have never gone onto the World of Wonder website Which is basically the production company That makes RuPaul's drag race and a bunch of other stuff In the early days of the internet I live for that website.

[617] Everything, all the good videos videos were on there.

[618] They had everything first.

[619] They knew all the memes first.

[620] Yeah.

[621] It was the coolest.

[622] I haven't gone on as much anymore.

[623] Like in all of these documentaries, the James St. James part where they like cut to him and he starts talking is like, it's the best part.

[624] Like everyone shut up.

[625] He's talking.

[626] He's everything.

[627] He's everything.

[628] Um, so they made up names for themselves.

[629] There's a, this girl named Jenny Talia.

[630] And I just love that so much.

[631] I just love that.

[632] This is right up your I can't even tell you, like, I wanted to go to New York to live with these people.

[633] Yeah.

[634] There's a guy named Ernie the P -drinker.

[635] There's Junkie Jonathan and Woody, the dancing amputee.

[636] And they also push boundaries of drag and fashion, and they were just fucking out there.

[637] So the club kids are led by Michael Aleg, Aleg, known as, he's like the king of the club kids.

[638] He's like the fucking Pied Piper, they call him.

[639] And his mentor slash rival, I read in this.

[640] this magazine, the equally flamboyant James St. James.

[641] James.

[642] Yes.

[643] I'm on his side.

[644] Yes.

[645] You didn't do anything.

[646] Oh, right.

[647] Yes, you should be.

[648] They're known for flamboyant behavior, outrageous costumes in 1988.

[649] So, uh, village voice writer and frequent party guest, Michael Musto wrote about the club kids.

[650] He's just like, he was just like, like, this not as flamboyant dude who just kind of like hung out with them and wrote about it, which is pretty, great.

[651] He said they are terminally superficial, have dubious aesthetic values, and are master manipulators, exploiters, and thank God, partiers.

[652] Yes.

[653] The club kids aesthetic, it was the emphasized the outrageous, fabulousness, gender fluid was a thing.

[654] And though not everyone was gay, their scene had an LGBT bent and was popular among the drag queens.

[655] And it was kind of just this thing of like, we finally have our place where we get a fucking, you know, all these people come from small towns we could actually like go over the top we've been fucking hiding this for years let's let's be ourselves and and normal fucking people and the preppys who used to not let us in the club 54 and shit they're not fucking allowed him here that's right that's and i think that's also the at the nearing the end of the AIDS epidemic well yeah i was just going to talk about that yes thank you yeah thank you literally the next fucking sentence is this was in the midst of the AIDS epidemic yeah and i was going to tell you to please uh jump in at any moment because I know you know this too.

[656] And that may have helped drive the party scene because Michael once said there was a prevailing sense that you and your friends might not be around this time next week.

[657] So enjoy the now.

[658] We party too hard, drank too much and laugh too loud.

[659] Yeah.

[660] So there's real reason behind that it's like you can say it's superficial.

[661] You can say that it's right that they're being.

[662] It doesn't mean anything.

[663] Yeah.

[664] But actually it's there's very strong.

[665] It's almost that thing where they, you know, the AIDS epidemic forced so many people to deal with their mortality in the literal way, with their friends dying left and right, you know.

[666] And a government who truly doesn't give a shit.

[667] Didn't give a shit and did nothing.

[668] Yeah.

[669] I mean, you know, why not say fuck you and put on crazy pants and go do whatever you want?

[670] Yeah.

[671] Live your life right now all you fucking can.

[672] Yeah.

[673] The group became an artistic and fashion conscious youth culture.

[674] and da -da -da -da -da -da -da so it's all experimental the club kids become a force that the media fucking got up became obsessed with of course because they're just so over the top Michael and the club kids appear on several talk shows including Geraldo which you can totally watch online I remember watching it at my fucking house as a kid I think it was in like there was they were on a couple times that I remember being like 12 or 13 so like right on the cusp of when I was going to say fuck it to and I was just like well I need to go to fucking New York immediately yeah um and in 1990 the biggest so so michael's doing his thing is making a name for himself he's going to these parties they're having this fun and then in 1990 the biggest club owner in the city named peter gation puts michael in charge as a the promoter for his string of downtown clubs which included this club called the limelight you know that gothic revival fucking crazy like multi -building church in new york that you drive by and you're in a cab and you're like, what in the fuck is that?

[675] Yeah.

[676] That was a club in the fucking 80s and 90s.

[677] I know.

[678] How insane is that?

[679] It's the best.

[680] It's a gym now.

[681] Doesn't it like you want to cry?

[682] Oh, really?

[683] I mean, last I read it was.

[684] I could be something else now.

[685] That's so the teens, the 20 teens.

[686] That was the job I wanted.

[687] The promoter was such a weird.

[688] You were like, well, what do you do?

[689] But all I knew is you had to hand out flyers and you got way more money than should be given to people handing out flyers.

[690] But part of it was being beautiful, fashionable, edgy.

[691] You had to be the kind of person that if somebody gave you a flyer, you'd want to be, go to the party they were having.

[692] That's exactly right.

[693] I remember girls in high school being like, I'm dating a promoter.

[694] And I'd be like, what is that?

[695] Yeah.

[696] And who cares?

[697] And then you need the promoter, and you're like, I want to be with you forever.

[698] Right.

[699] So he becomes this promoter because he is like the fucking top dog, whatever.

[700] So Michael got to just throw these lavish parties.

[701] he would pick you know paid for he would pick a theme hire DJ make sure all his fabulous friends would show up he'd pay them to show up wow so suddenly they were getting paid to go fucking clubbing or go to parties as you weren't supposed to call it a rave you call them going to a party um why because the cops would bust them maybe it just wasn't cool yeah i don't know um so it would so when all his wild friends would show up with fucking you know painted red heads and diapers and with their nipples exed out with fucking masking tape and, you know, like all these incredible things, a candle fucking stuck on their head or whatever, um, that all these people wanted to go to these clubs to watch them because they were like kind of getting famous in the like, you know, because the news would cover them and shit.

[702] And because we love people who are, who don't give a fuck.

[703] Yeah.

[704] That's what a relief it is when you see a person like that.

[705] So it's like, yeah, I don't care.

[706] You can't, there's nothing you can do.

[707] Like, it's such a good feeling when you're around people who are all like.

[708] Like, yeah, fuck it.

[709] I don't care.

[710] Well, Michael Musto from the fucking village voice talks a lot about how like in, like, before this, everyone was on their best behavior and wanted to look the coolest and be the coolest and just be like, you know, perfect.

[711] That preppy bullshit.

[712] Yeah.

[713] And then fucking Michael came along and he would, he was a dick kind of.

[714] He'd pee and drinks and make people drink it.

[715] But that's not Woody, the peer.

[716] What's that guy's name?

[717] Maybe.

[718] Maybe it's because he, the pee drinker?

[719] Yeah, maybe because he drank.

[720] like all these things that he did he was like kind of a dick but everyone let like he was like a child that nobody there's one thing that i read about where he had he had a like he got hepatitis and made it into a party oh no tried to kiss as many people as he could to give he was just like he was literally a party monster he was a true party monster he just didn't care about anyone and everyone loved that about him there was no feeling like he just was there to have a good time yep as vin says we're here for a good time not a long time um that guy i mean okay so so he did that scene okay he would be there he draw crowds to these venues and the club kids began holding they also a way to promote that these actual parties would be that they would have these what now we know is flash mobs but then with guerrilla style parties they they called then outlaw parties oh so they show the fuck up at a Dunkin' Donuts, like 200 deep or a fucking Burger King and just take over and ruin this poor, these poor people who work their night, like, for sure, for sure.

[721] And just have so much fun and party and put music on and shit.

[722] They went, did one in the subway and like, and they do it until, you know, the cops would come, which was like their highlight of the night and then they go to this club that was already ready for it.

[723] So it was just these like flash mobs in a way.

[724] So he loved all this attention.

[725] He got, okay, so this is a pee drinker.

[726] There was a woman who, went on stage and gave herself a champagne anima.

[727] Great.

[728] So healthy.

[729] Hepatitis.

[730] Good for the flora and fauna in your gut.

[731] Don't try that at home.

[732] It was just like these people.

[733] It just really seemed like performance art for everyone, but in a club setting.

[734] Yeah.

[735] So in the beginning, Michael and the club kids didn't really fuck with drugs, as I said.

[736] But then ecstasy came along.

[737] As Michael just explains it, it felt like a drug for people who didn't do drugs because it wasn't some like fucking cut crazy, snorty.

[738] drug.

[739] It was like pharmaceutical, made in the lab, and it made you feel spiritual.

[740] So it didn't feel like you were doing drugs.

[741] Which is the, and I say this any chance I get, the problem with pills is that you can tell yourself you're not a drug addict and you can just take a bunch of fucking pills and suddenly you're different, but you can't tell because you didn't snort it and you didn't like shoot it.

[742] It was prescribed to me. Yeah.

[743] And but then all of a sudden you're on the other side of pill behavior.

[744] Yeah.

[745] Not really knowing what's going on.

[746] Right.

[747] It's so dangerous.

[748] Yes, 100%.

[749] And it's become so normalized now.

[750] It's so normal.

[751] It's really frightening.

[752] Yeah, it's horrible.

[753] So Michael, of course, and his followers then begin using drugs heavily, which is what happens when you start taking drugs.

[754] Well, and when you party for a living.

[755] I mean, it's part of the reason when I was hospitalized for alcoholism.

[756] I tried to explain to the doctor.

[757] I'm like, I'm a comic.

[758] I'm in a club every night.

[759] We all drink eight drinks.

[760] night.

[761] If I don't stay and hang out and party with them, I won't get booked on shows.

[762] Yeah.

[763] It's like the yin -yang of the whole lifestyle, but like, but when that's your lifestyle, you then you're truly living it and it's very hard on the system.

[764] It is, definitely.

[765] So he began, so, so Michael, who's kind of in charge of these clubs, begins adding drug dealers to, you know, who's paying people to come to the clubs, like his friends who are club kids.

[766] He adds drug dealers to the payroll of Michael, Peter Gation.

[767] This guy Peter Gation.

[768] and he's like, add this guy to the payroll, add that guy, so their fucking drug dealers getting paid like an hourly rate to fucking be there, which is bananas.

[769] Well, it's not, I might be wrong about this, but at the Hacienda, weren't the dormant drug dealers?

[770] Oh, I don't know.

[771] I feel like there was some kind of similar thing like that where it just became part of the business.

[772] Yeah.

[773] Which seems so normal.

[774] Yeah.

[775] When you're like in it.

[776] So they become all addicted to drugs like Coke or Hypnole Special K, which of course is a fucking horse tranquilizer.

[777] And you can fall into a K -hole, which means the ground goes away.

[778] It sounds like, that's the thing.

[779] Also, those drugs, where you take one pill and then you're out of it for hours.

[780] I hate that.

[781] When I used to go to Raves when I was young, and this is like 95, so this is by the time anything hits Orange County, it's fucking played out.

[782] So like, I was on the end cusp of this shit.

[783] But it was in orange, it was in Los Angeles.

[784] But yeah, man, there were just people wandering around, you know, selling drugs.

[785] Like, it was out and about.

[786] No one gave a shit.

[787] Yeah.

[788] Of course tranquilizers, everybody.

[789] Of course tranquilizers.

[790] Thank God I never tried those.

[791] And eventually, everyone's fucking favorite heroin.

[792] Yeah.

[793] Oh.

[794] Yeah.

[795] So one of those club kids was one of these club kids who was just super into the scene was named Andre Melendez.

[796] And his name, his like club name was Angel.

[797] And that's because he wore these different kinds.

[798] of ornate, beautiful angel wings.

[799] That was his thing.

[800] His like, you know, what's it called?

[801] Look.

[802] He had immigrated from Columbia to New York as a child, and he lived in Queens.

[803] And like Michael, he had tried to make a name for himself and found the club kids a good place to do it.

[804] And he wanted to be accepted by Michael especially, and the club kids.

[805] So to do so, he started dealing drugs as his ticket in.

[806] And whenever it's this thing of like, if you look a little deeper than, the basic articles, it says like Michael Aleg killed the drug dealer, Angel, you know, Melendez, but it's like, well, he wasn't a drug dealer at first.

[807] It wasn't just that he was like there to deal drugs.

[808] He actually was a club kid who loved the scene, loved the people.

[809] He was part of it.

[810] Dealing drugs was his way to, like to get people to like him.

[811] Yeah, and then make a name for himself.

[812] Exactly.

[813] Yeah.

[814] So he wasn't just a drug dealer.

[815] So he eventually got put on the line.

[816] light payroll as well.

[817] And Angel idolized Michael, so he let him get away with a lot.

[818] And of course, Michael took advantage him like fucking crazy, including like stealing drugs from him.

[819] There was one account, according to James St. James, that during a snowstorm, where they broke into Angels' st. Ash, and did three to four thousand dollars worth of Angel's drugs.

[820] And James St. Jam was like, how are you going to tell Angel?

[821] And then Angel walks in and Michael's like, we did your drugs.

[822] It's like just, fuck you.

[823] Do something about it.

[824] I feel like I have four stories like that.

[825] That's the thing, too, is when you start to get into that very bizarre lifestyle, you just do things like you don't care anymore.

[826] After a while, you just only care about getting high.

[827] I mean, it sounds like he had some narcissistic tendencies to begin with.

[828] And then you put in drugs and fame and goodbye.

[829] Your fucking, no, you don't give a shit.

[830] Yeah.

[831] You're like, it's me from the.

[832] limelight.

[833] Yeah, you know, you can't get in here without me, which is true.

[834] Like, he could fucking ban whoever the fuck he wanted.

[835] Yeah, that's a lot of control.

[836] Yes.

[837] So, escalating drug use and overdoses and more cases of AIDS among the club kids kind of starts, and then mayor, fucking new mayor Rudy Giuliani's crackdown on nightlife and Manhattan starts to lead to the beginning of the end of the club kids.

[838] So in September, 1995, hey, I was 15 and probably had a rave.

[839] Limelight is raided by federal agents and shut down Because they were using drugs so openly and rampantly Like it was just this You walk in and you get a bump of Coke Like it's just everywhere It's not a big deal to anyone I'm so sad I wasn't there So so sad All right So Angel who had been working at the club He gets fired So he's pissed about that He thinks that That he's owed money And on top of that by 1996 Michael was a full -blown fucking junkie.

[840] Okay.

[841] He's injecting heroin every day.

[842] And as his addiction grows, his demand for drugs from Angel grows.

[843] And Angel just starts to get resentful and feels used.

[844] And he couldn't get into limelight anymore.

[845] And that pissed him off a lot too.

[846] Wait, sorry, Angel or Michael?

[847] Angel couldn't get it anymore.

[848] Michael's living the fucking high life.

[849] Angel gets fired because of the drug raid and he's a drug dealer.

[850] Oh.

[851] Yeah.

[852] And so he's just pushed out?

[853] yes that sucks yes but also let me just say too just the way this this trajectory is the story of all all drug stories it starts fun as my mom used to say it's going to end in tears yeah you're laughing now but this is going to end in tears i mean the difference in the i highly recommend people watching the shockumentary because uh you can see that from the videos in the beginning it's these bright -eyed bushy -tailed fucking cool like you know smart kids who are like leading this incredible revolution and by the end it's like dark circles under their eyes and no one's smiling and it's just addicted to drugs and that's what drugs do it's just like it becomes about you go to parties because you need to get drugs not because you are so happy to be around these people that are like -minded and you know right because you're not having it's not fun anymore you're not having real experiences anymore you're not like oh my I love dancing and it feels great to do this thing you're just like drugs or even like I want to be famous it's like not that anymore either it's just this negative thing.

[854] So around this time, Michael Ehilig throws a themed party called Blood Feast.

[855] This is just an aside.

[856] It's named after a horror movie that he had loved as a child that he had watched with his mother as a child.

[857] His mother was obsessed with watching horror movies and like watch them with him, which also Joe DeRosa's mom did.

[858] Love that.

[859] I talked to her about it once and she told me that she just wanted someone to watch with because she was scared.

[860] So she put her four -year -old child next to her.

[861] I do love it though when parents like get their kids into movies at the young age whatever style they like i don't care but so in in the movie uh blood feast uh this this dude kills people and dismembers his victims that's what the fucking horror movies about sounds like a real blood feast exactly and in the flyer for the event uh my favorite club kid jenny talia she's this like she just she just looks like she's what i wanted to be when i was that age sure yeah she's holding a hammer to michael's head and it looks like, it's all bloody and gross.

[862] It's like, this is going to be the gore party.

[863] Like, they had these insane parties.

[864] This is going to be the gore one.

[865] The phrase, legs cut off is, like, all these crazy phrases like that are on the flyer.

[866] And then I write all caps foreshadowing.

[867] Okay, got it.

[868] Got it.

[869] All caps.

[870] Foreshadowing.

[871] So, on Sunday, March 17, 1996, Angel shows up at Michael and his roommate, Robert Riggs, who's known as Freeze.

[872] It looks like the devil, kind of, but like the hot devil.

[873] So he had a goatee.

[874] Uh -huh.

[875] And a little trident.

[876] Yes.

[877] And he, and he, like, deviled him.

[878] What's the guy's name?

[879] Remember the movie?

[880] This is so random.

[881] Remember the movie Go?

[882] Yes.

[883] And the drug dealer from that movie.

[884] Yes.

[885] What's his name?

[886] Oh, Stephen's got it.

[887] A Timothy Oliphant?

[888] Yes.

[889] I've done it again.

[890] I've done it again.

[891] You're scaring Elvis.

[892] Sorry, but I've done it again.

[893] Timothy Oliphant also, I just recently watched the girl next door, which when it came out real time, I was like, this is sexist and against women.

[894] It's one of the better movies I've ever seen.

[895] And Timothy Oliphant is so hot in it.

[896] He's playing this, like, kind of scummy guy, whatever that shows up.

[897] And he shows up at the boys high school.

[898] And he's like in a cool car.

[899] And he's just like this badass guy.

[900] and these he's talking to these two girls and the boy comes out like what are you doing here and he turns to the boys lead the lead boy and goes hey you didn't tell me you had some real burners at this school and i laughed for so long the idea of calling hot girls burners maybe that's just maybe that was just for me you've got to see it it's so good he's so good and then goes on to become the sheriff of fucking deadwood right calling no one burners no no no No, you don't do that then.

[901] But loving the widow.

[902] Okay.

[903] Also, watch the movie Go, if you want to watch, like, what my life was kind of like at that time.

[904] Go was a great movie, too.

[905] It's a really good movie.

[906] And that's what my life was kind of like, uh, okay, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[907] So, fucking elephants, uh, nickname is Freeze.

[908] And he looks like the devil.

[909] Okay.

[910] Um, so that Michael and Freeze's apartment in Hell's kitchen, Angel shows up at like nine in the morning.

[911] And of course, no, no, not one of them has, slept the night before they've all been taking drugs all fucking night and angel the grossest feeling disgusting angel is pissed off like trying to track down this money he's owed he is like demanding this money this argument ensues between michael and angel and the come it becomes violent and angel this is all according to freeze and michael so you know please take take this with however you feel like.

[912] Like nobody's, nobody's told Angel's side of the story because Angel is the only one that could have done it.

[913] Yeah, so, you know, take this with various levels of spice.

[914] He pins Michael, Michael cries out for help, so Freeze grabs a hammer and hits Angel over the head with it three times.

[915] And sorry to ask this now, but this was after that blood and gore party?

[916] Yes.

[917] Ugh, okay.

[918] Awful.

[919] I'm almost positive.

[920] three times he gets disoriented according to Fries but he's also still pissed off so Fries grabs him from behind and there's a lot of different stories so it's kind of hard to tell which one they're fucking sticking with and Michael grabs either a pillow or a sweatshirt and puts it over Angel's face and they smother him and he he dies and then again depending on his story Michael takes a cleanser or a chemical or draino or something, puts it down his fucking throat and uses duct tape to duct tape his mouth shut.

[921] And I think he's already fucking dead, then thank God.

[922] And Michael says that it later says it was because he wanted to cover up the smell.

[923] But it's hard to be, it's just like hard to know what really happened.

[924] Right.

[925] Yeah, I get that.

[926] Because that all fits in if you're going to, if you're going to argue self -defense.

[927] Right.

[928] You know?

[929] Exactly.

[930] Exactly.

[931] So the tube, Freeze and Michael, then strip Angel's body, place it in the bathtub, and they put ice all over it and chemicals all over to mask the smell.

[932] It stays there for five to seven days.

[933] Oh, God.

[934] I know.

[935] Until Freeze purchases some chef's knife and a cleanser and a, I'm sorry, a cleaver at Macy's.

[936] I don't know why that Tibbet needed to stay in there, but I just found it kind of interesting.

[937] And the Macy's home department.

[938] Yeah, like the person who told them that was like, enjoy your dinner.

[939] And then it's like a guy with a lightning bolt across his face.

[940] It's like, thanks so much.

[941] Thanks a fucking heroin junkie.

[942] Eyes and shit.

[943] Needle hanging out of his arm.

[944] Thanks.

[945] I'm making salad.

[946] Tell your friends.

[947] So Michael's like, okay, I'll take care of this.

[948] You have to get me 10 bags of heroin so I can get as fucked up as possible.

[949] I don't want to be fucking, you know, conscious for this shit.

[950] Oh no. And then he's like, and I was kind of hoping I would die of a heroin overdose too.

[951] So, I mean, that's what he fucking says.

[952] But, uh, so he's on all this heroin.

[953] I bet he does, though.

[954] Yeah.

[955] He's on all this heroin and he removes angels' legs.

[956] He cuts them fucking off just like the blood bath movie.

[957] And, or blood, what was it called?

[958] Blood Feast.

[959] Thank you.

[960] You're welcome.

[961] And he removes angels' legs.

[962] He wraps them in garbage bags.

[963] and then places them in a duffel bag and then those are dumped in the Hudson River and they sink but then the following day they wrap the rest of Angel's body in a sheet and plastic garbage bag and they place it in a cardboard box they take it down to a fucking waiting taxi put it in the trunk they drive to the West Side Highway to Hudson River and by some instances get the cab driver to help them throw the box of obviously the cab driver doesn't know what's in it.

[964] Help them throw the box over the side of the highway into the river.

[965] And then they watch as it doesn't sink and kind of just sails off.

[966] And they're like, oh, shit.

[967] And on drugs.

[968] And on drugs.

[969] And Angel, when he was murder, was only 25 years old.

[970] Oh, God.

[971] So Michael, whatever reason, can't fucking keep quiet about it.

[972] Maybe he's so horrified by what he's done.

[973] maybe it doesn't seem real in his head because he's on drugs.

[974] Maybe he's fucking doesn't think it's a big deal.

[975] Like, who knows why?

[976] Or maybe he wants to get caught.

[977] Right.

[978] You know?

[979] Yeah.

[980] But he doesn't keep quiet and he tells people about it and rumors start flying.

[981] And in the scene, everyone kind of knows what happened, although they're like, that's, that sounds too outlandish about the Drano and shit.

[982] But it all ends up being true.

[983] And so it becomes an open secret in the club community.

[984] And, but everyone's loyal as fuck to Michael and no one tells the police.

[985] So Angel's brother Johnny starts to get worried when he doesn't hear from his brother Of course they only had pagers back then So he's not answering his fucking page And he finally is like goes to clubs to try to track down his brother and can't find him The police he says barely bothered to fill out a missing person's report and didn't really give a shit So he had to fucking start investigating on his own post flyers over the city of angel The photo of angel with his angel wings and everything trying to find his brother He breaks down on the fucking shockumentary documentary documentary and it's really fucking sad I bet yeah so he spends the next few months okay so Michael spends the next few months high as fuck traveling in and out of the city he's still throwing parties but people aren't really going to them and meanwhile with the help of the media Johnny's able to get angels disappearance out and like it becomes front page news articles in the New York magazine and the New York Post which is like the best magazine for shit like this.

[986] Michael Musto post a blind item in the village voice that's basically like club kid which club kid murdered talks about it because he's horrified.

[987] Wow.

[988] Well, that's the best way to deal with a murder is just to gossip.

[989] Put a blind item in a newspaper.

[990] Just gossip it away.

[991] So, okay.

[992] So in a month after the murder in March 1996, so there's a tropical storm which makes all everything, wash up onto shore, and a group of children at a beach at Millerfield and Stanton Island discover a box containing the dismembered remains, which eight months later are linked to Angel.

[993] Wow.

[994] It took eight months because he was misidentified as an Asian male by the morgue.

[995] Can I just ask really quick, did you mean Staten Island?

[996] What did I say?

[997] Stanton Island.

[998] Jesus.

[999] Stanton Island.

[1000] Stanton Island.

[1001] God.

[1002] I was like, no, I don't want to act like I'm some expert about the burrows or anything.

[1003] What is that?

[1004] How did my brain do that?

[1005] But you're trying to explain something.

[1006] I am.

[1007] Wow.

[1008] Okay.

[1009] But you're saying that the remains were found and then eight months later, he was identified.

[1010] But it wasn't eight months.

[1011] No, a month later, he's found.

[1012] Okay.

[1013] And then eight months later, like another body washes up.

[1014] And a cop who actually was involved in Angel's case puts it together.

[1015] that you know it all gets put together got it got um but it's partly because the the burrows didn't communicate with each other of course but also he was misidentified as an Asian male okay whatever right so with the final with finally with identification police are now involved this whole time michael hadn't been questioned once about the disappearance despite the rumors um he had fled to new jersey at this point where you can't get away in new jersey nine months after the murder of angel Michael Eelig is arrested on December 5th, 1996, and Freeze is arrested the same day.

[1016] Wow.

[1017] And Freeze just fucking talks immediately.

[1018] They both just like, yeah.

[1019] That's so Freeze.

[1020] So freeze.

[1021] So freeze.

[1022] So, Eleg insisted to the police that he and Freeze had killed Angel and self -defense and disposed the body in a panic.

[1023] And he had photos of bruises that he had on him after the fight too.

[1024] So he was not high, he was not so high that he couldn't take picture.

[1025] of his own bruises.

[1026] He couldn't go to a lawyer and get pictures taken two weeks after the, or like a week after.

[1027] Oh, really?

[1028] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1029] Wow.

[1030] So, prosecutors, say, here's just like weird things.

[1031] Prosecutors were hesitant to charge Michael with first degree murder because they hoped he would testify against his former boss, Peter Gation, who they had arrested for allowing drugs to be sold in his nightclub.

[1032] So the fucking DA, or the feds want to get this guy, Peter Gation on all these fucking drug charges.

[1033] So they don't want to, like, throw the book at Michael because they need him to be a fucking credible witness.

[1034] And if he's a fucking first -degree murderer, they can't put him on the stand.

[1035] And they don't prioritize the murder as a worse crime than selling drugs and clubs.

[1036] They don't.

[1037] Wow.

[1038] So they eventually offer Michael and freeze a plea deal, a sentence of 10 to 20 years if they accept the lesser charge of manslaughter, which they do.

[1039] Side note, Peter Gation charges are all.

[1040] eventually dropped.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] So it didn't fucking matter anyways.

[1043] He's a big rich guy, right?

[1044] Well, because they couldn't prove anything at that point.

[1045] So they could have fucking charged him.

[1046] I don't know.

[1047] But also, you know, who knows?

[1048] Who knows what happened?

[1049] On October 1st, 1997, they both plead guilty and sentenced to 10 to 20 years.

[1050] Freeze is released after 13 years in 2010.

[1051] Michael becomes eligible for parole in October 2006, but he claims that the parole board watched the movie Party Monster that had been made in 2003, which portrayed him very poorly.

[1052] Yes.

[1053] And decided to keep him in after watching it.

[1054] Oh.

[1055] Yeah.

[1056] So he's, he serves, eventually serves 17 years and was released on May 5th, 2014.

[1057] And regarding the 2003 movie Party Monster, whichever one you watch, it's fucking good.

[1058] It's really good.

[1059] Wait, is Sean Green, the other person in that movie.

[1060] And Chloe Sevene is in it as well.

[1061] Sean Green is, I just for four minutes watched Gold member Seth Green.

[1062] Shit, Seth Green.

[1063] Sean Green is a stand -up comic, I know.

[1064] Oh, who's very funny.

[1065] Seth Green, I watched a little bit of gold member, Austin Powers and Gold Member the other day, purely because of how fucking funny that guy is.

[1066] And he has been, I think he might also be in Go.

[1067] Yes, he is.

[1068] He is.

[1069] Right, Stephen?

[1070] Back me up, God damn it, Stephen.

[1071] Why won't you?

[1072] No. he is i think he is or i might be thinking of can't hardly wait yeah i think anyway because he plays like a raver club kid in that movie oh is that what i'm doing yeah he's not in go yes fuck you both you take your you take your peterolephant you shove it up your ass carry i haven't done it again shit but anyway that guys i feel like he has been a massive talent since he's like five years old he is so talented and continues to be with fucking robot chicken robot.

[1073] I was going to call it freeway chicken.

[1074] Good night, Grandma.

[1075] Seth Green, everyone.

[1076] Seth Green, everybody.

[1077] Okay.

[1078] So the movie, Poot.

[1079] Where are we?

[1080] Pooh -pooh.

[1081] Party Monster is based on the 1999 memoir Disco Bloodbath by none other than James St. James.

[1082] Yeah.

[1083] This is how we do it.

[1084] So Michael A -Lick is now 52 years old.

[1085] he says he doesn't like the way he's portrayed in the movie because it's he says it's one -dimensional so angel who's played by Wilson Cruz from my so -called life right he he turns him into a minor side character yes um if angel Melendez hadn't been murdered he would be 57 years old right now and that's the party monster murder of Angel Melendez God that's so I mean the fact that like he's Michael, A -Lig.

[1086] Aleig?

[1087] Alig?

[1088] A -Lig.

[1089] Yeah.

[1090] He served his time.

[1091] Like, that's a per - that's so rarely happens where it's a famous murderer.

[1092] Yeah.

[1093] Where the person gets, goes to jail, serves their time and comes back out and then, like, is able to speak again.

[1094] Yeah.

[1095] It's really, it's hard to track down exactly what he's up to now.

[1096] Like, it seems like he's got all, you know, trying, trying a bunch of other, you know, fashion line and art and, like, maybe trying to still do club promotions.

[1097] Right.

[1098] it's just like hard to track it down but I mean yeah and it's hard to kind of know how to feel because yeah it was this you know when you talk about a time like that it's all so surreal yeah and the behavior is so surreal and then the drug element makes it all very kind of like yeah there's a kooky element to it but at the end of the day there's there's a really tragic murder and then just again we've talked about this a bunch times but like when people have to dismember or they're able to dismember human beings.

[1099] I just, it's such a, it's so far beyond anywhere I even want to think about being.

[1100] Totally.

[1101] It's just nightmarish to me. Totally.

[1102] Yeah, it is really sad.

[1103] And then you think of all the club kids now and like, looking back and being like, we were just fucking, we just like went off the deep end.

[1104] This could have been this great movement of, you know, and it did like, it influenced so many people now, like, fucking Lady Gaga.

[1105] She wouldn't exist without this club kid movement and they talk about like Marilyn Manson was like directly influenced by you know all the shit Georgia Hard Stark wouldn't have worn fucking vinyl pants and stacked shoes that's right to raves if it hadn't been for this so I tried to wear stacked shoes one time and I can still feel myself going down on the sidewalk in San Francisco walking home from a bar and just you take one weird step on mine were Mary Jane's and my friend would call me a little Frankenstein when I wore them because that's exactly what I looked like.

[1106] And you take one wrong move in those things and you're just, you're down.

[1107] Your ankle goes out from underneath you, you land on your, whatever this bone is.

[1108] And you look like a stupid fucking idiot.

[1109] You look like a goddamn goon.

[1110] So that's that.

[1111] Wow, that was good.

[1112] Thank you.

[1113] I'm surprised we haven't done that one yet.

[1114] That one is such a, it's so infamous and kind of like its own little world.

[1115] Well, I didn't realize how I thought about it a long time ago, but I didn't realize how, like, how, it just seems so hard to wrap my head around and like, express exactly what the time and place was like.

[1116] But then my friend Crystal Langham, thank you, reminded me of it.

[1117] And so I was like, oh, yeah.

[1118] Yeah, yeah, that's a good one.

[1119] Well, mine this week comes because I drove up to Petaluma to be there for my old sister, Laura's 50th birthday.

[1120] Laura.

[1121] And so she ended up having a birthday week, which is kind of hilarious.

[1122] You're allowed to do that when you're turning 50.

[1123] Yeah, I think it was big.

[1124] So she had like a dinner at my dad's house, and then I drove up and then we went to the Twin Oaks, which is this rad bar between Petaluma and Sebastopol and that's like, used to be old and scary and it was like kind of a locals only, just don't go in there.

[1125] And now they've redone it and it's really awesome.

[1126] And they have really good bands.

[1127] The band that played there that night was really good.

[1128] Anyway, I love driving to Petaluma because I love anytime I get to leave Los Angeles and the time I spend on the five between L .A. and Petaluma is so soothing because, it's just like, you know, sometimes I talk to you on the phone a bunch, make some phone calls.

[1129] Fall asleep for a little while.

[1130] Get a zone out.

[1131] Smell all the smells that are out there to be smelled.

[1132] Every different type of livestock shit, you would like to smell is there for you to smell.

[1133] You go to yourself, I should be vegetarian every time you drive that drive.

[1134] That's right.

[1135] And then if you're on the 99, you might hit a patch of rose smells.

[1136] You might hit a patch of really strong onion smell.

[1137] It's an exciting way.

[1138] to live all your olfactory senses are being triggered do you like smells that you can't control so anyway but my newest thing is um on both the way up and the way back i was just binge listening once again to criminal with phoebe judge and i just love that show so much but there was one that uh one episode and it um is it inspired this week's uh this week's murder for me because it's the story and hearing it the way Phoebe Judge told it it's all from the point of view of the wife Melinda Elkins but we've seen it as a forensic files and I think in American Justice and it's the story of Clarence Elkins I don't remember this one yet okay so let me tell you all about it Tell me June 7th 1998 I'm gonna buzz in when I know what you're talking about Okay great Stephen, are you picking up that buzz slap?

[1139] Sounds good.

[1140] June 7th, 1998, it's in Barberton, Ohio.

[1141] So this is a suburb of Akron, Ohio.

[1142] On the morning of June 7th, 1998, a woman named Melinda Elkins, she's puttering around the house, and her son comes running into the house saying there are police outside in SWAT gear running out of the woods and at their house.

[1143] Can you picture that, people?

[1144] I mean, first of all, just the boy outside, I'm not sure how old he was, but I like to think he was eight.

[1145] Because that would be the most impact if you were standing in your yard, like throwing something against a wall board, and you look over and just a SWAT team comes running out of the woods.

[1146] Mommy, mommy, there's a SWAT team.

[1147] He knows what a SWAT team is.

[1148] Yeah, exactly.

[1149] He knows all the terminology.

[1150] So Melinda goes running out of her house, and going what's going on and they tell her that her 58 year old mother Judith Johnson has been stabbed to death and that her 6 year old niece Brooke who was staying the night at her grandma's Judith was raped, beaten and left for dead and as Melinda is trying to take in this information she looks over the cop shoulder who's talking to her and sees her husband Clarence Elkins getting handcuffed and stuffed into the back of a cop car Oh, no. And this is when she learns that her niece, Brooke, her six -year -old niece, who was horribly attacked, identified her uncle, Clarence, who is Melinda's husband, as the murderer.

[1151] So...

[1152] Can I do a light tap?

[1153] This sounds familiar?

[1154] Mm -hmm.

[1155] Okay.

[1156] Okay, so what happened was Judy and Brooke were attacked.

[1157] They think somewhere between 2 .30 and 5 .30 in the morning.

[1158] um at judy's home uh judy was beaten so badly that initially the authorities thought that she'd been stabbed to death um but it just that it was just she was beaten with a blunt instrument so badly that and the the wounds were so deep that they thought they were knife wounds oh my god she was also raped and sodomized and um brook the six year old heard something going on so she ran out to see and saw her grandmother lying dead she ran back into the room she was staying got into bed to hide the man came in to the room and began to beat her um she passed out then she was raped um and then she was left for dead and beaten and left for dead she woke up around seven in the morning um and she called a family friend and she left a message on that person answering machine saying, I'm sorry to tell you this, but my grandma died and I need somebody to get my mom for me. I'm all alone.

[1159] Somebody killed my grandma.

[1160] Now, please, would you get a hold of me as soon as you can by?

[1161] Can you imagine getting that answering to MS?

[1162] It's so haunting.

[1163] And then she walks next door to the next door neighbors in her bloody nightgown and knocks on the next door door and asks for help.

[1164] A woman named Tanya Brazel answers the door and she lived there with her common law husband or old man and their children and Tanya tells Brooke that she's making breakfast for her kids, but if she'll just wait on the porch she'll help her 45 minutes later.

[1165] Wait, what?

[1166] She drives Brooke home.

[1167] Just like, just dog ear that.

[1168] So Brooke's mother, April is Melinda Elkin's sister.

[1169] So Clarence is, this is basically Clarence's sister -in -law, April, and his niece, Brooke.

[1170] Got it.

[1171] And it's Melinda's sister.

[1172] So they have different last names now because they're both married.

[1173] But Melinda and Brooke, Melinda, sorry, and April are sisters.

[1174] Okay.

[1175] So on the way home, Brooke tells this woman, Tanya, the neighbor, that the man who attacked her and killed her grandmother looked like her uncle Clarence.

[1176] And so when they arrive at April's house, Tanya tells April that Brooke, had said it was her uncle Clarence who attacked her.

[1177] So when Melinda is told all this by the authorities, she knows that it's impossible.

[1178] Yeah.

[1179] Because on the evening of the attack, Clarence was at home.

[1180] He went outside.

[1181] He built a bonfire in the yard.

[1182] And then he decided he was going to go out with friends to some local bars.

[1183] So he was out drinking with his friends until 2 .30 in the morning.

[1184] And she knows for sure that he came home at 2 .30 in the morning because their son was sick.

[1185] and she was up with him.

[1186] And so when he came in, she was up and they talked.

[1187] And then Clarence went to bed at three in the morning.

[1188] And Melinda stayed up pretty much for the rest of the night with their sick child.

[1189] And so she told the police, there's no way he could have left again without me knowing.

[1190] And he certainly couldn't have driven the one hour trip to my mom's house and then driven one hour back and been gone for over two hours without me noticing.

[1191] Because I was up all night and I would have noticed that he'd be.

[1192] gone.

[1193] And when people build a bonfire on the night of a murder, it's just, it has to be bad luck if you didn't do it.

[1194] It's for real.

[1195] It's straight at making a murderer.

[1196] I hear a bonfire.

[1197] I'm like, you did it.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] It's not, but the problem is out in the, if you live out in the country, which I'm assuming I don't know the suburbs of Akron well enough, but building a bonfire is just like, oh yeah, go go burn that shit or just something like, because there's nothing else to do just go stand around a fire and drink beer.

[1200] Like, it's kind, it's pretty common.

[1201] Okay.

[1202] We also used to do it at my friend Broadford's house.

[1203] He got this, he somehow fashioned a burn barrel where we would bring like old, like old checkbooks that you didn't need anymore, things that you, like a shredder.

[1204] Like a shredder, but you could just burn it.

[1205] And someone once brought, someone once brought the box that their huge new Mac, like, desk monitor came in.

[1206] So it was like a four foot cardboard.

[1207] cardboard box and it they put it in the barrel and it went up and the flames went so high that the fire department ended up coming to his house and being like you guys you're in Hollywood like you can't this was in Hollywood yes this was in the backyard of like a duplex right off of highland oh my god and the fire department's like you what are you doing yeah this isn't fucking sticks more like we're just trying to enjoy ourselves anyway don't be a bummer man in defense of bonfires Okay.

[1208] So this is the other thing.

[1209] Melinda has known her husband since she was young.

[1210] They got married when they were 18 years old.

[1211] And she's just like, this is not, he is not this person.

[1212] He is not going to snap.

[1213] He's never been an abusive person.

[1214] He's not like that in any way.

[1215] So all of a sudden, him.

[1216] And even though she says they did not have an ideal marriage, they did fight, and she would go over to her mom's house and spend the night that happened often, she said.

[1217] it wasn't ideal, but it was just like any other marriage where that does happen.

[1218] And she said her mom, although sometimes being disappointed in Clarence, loved him and Clarence loved her mom.

[1219] There was no ill feeling between them.

[1220] And so she's like, she just knew in her heart this, it wasn't him.

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] And then also, all of his movements were accounted for that night because he was either at home where she knew he was, or he was at bar.

[1223] around their town where all kinds of people swore that they saw him and knew he was there and then he was back at home with her.

[1224] So when police, and then police, the police came and searched Melinda and Clarence's home hours after the attack and they found no blood evidence anywhere in the house.

[1225] And due to the extreme nature, like I was saying of Judy's wounds and of Brooks, there was no way that that perpetrator didn't have blood all over him and all over his clothes and probably in the car every like there's everywhere yeah so they would have found at least something somewhere and there was not a trace um in fact the authorities said the amount of blood would have actually been staggering because it how bad it was at judy johnson's house but that didn't matter because um there was an eyewitness to the crime and that was brook who said um it someone who looked like her uncle claren And that's, I think also it's, you know, we've heard about this in other similar types of cases.

[1226] But I feel like if I was somebody who had to take a statement from a six -year -old who had been raped and beaten and left for dead, I mean, traumatized beyond belief, you, if she tells you she saw the person, you believe her.

[1227] Yes.

[1228] And you want to give her justice and make this end.

[1229] But the phrase he looks like.

[1230] my uncle Clarence doesn't it means he was that tall he was the same build he had the same hair voice it's what it reminded me yeah yeah especially from a small child who like doesn't can't explain a person it's like this is the closest I can explain exactly right um right but by the time it got to her taking a statement her talking to the police um it had become it was my uncle Clarence.

[1231] Right.

[1232] And even though there was no physical evidence in any way linking Clarence Elkins to the scene of the crime, he was charged with aggravated murder, aggravated attempted murder, rape, and felonious assault.

[1233] So five days after Judy and Brooks attack, Melinda and her sister April bury their mother, they hold hands during the funeral, then they leave.

[1234] don't speak for three and a half years because you have to think about this is now your sister's husband killed your mother and raped and attacked your daughter your child and then on the other side of that from melinda's side so that's april's side of it your husband is accused of killing your mother your mother's still dead and they're a child rapist and yeah to your own niece who you love as probably as much as your own kids.

[1235] So everybody loses terribly in this scenario from the get -go.

[1236] I'm trying to like picture that, but it's like these two women like need each other.

[1237] Right?

[1238] But I mean like how could it?

[1239] And it's your, yeah, it's your sister.

[1240] Yeah.

[1241] But this is like, it's a circumstance that's just beyond anyone's dealing.

[1242] So at the trial it began May 20th, 19, 99.

[1243] It was in Akron.

[1244] And Brooke is now seven years old.

[1245] She testifies that she saw her uncle Clarence killing her grandma.

[1246] The defense attorney argues the phone message that Brooke left in the morning of the attack says, somebody killed her grandma.

[1247] Then somebody had turned into somebody who looked like Uncle Clarence.

[1248] And then that eventually became it was Uncle Clarence.

[1249] But because Brooke's eyewitness testimony is the only evidence presented, because it's the only evidence there is.

[1250] at the time because all the blood events they don't have yeah they didn't DNA wasn't where it eventually becomes and so it's just that's the only evidence that the prosecution presents and so that's the only argument the defense can make and so the jury and when Melinda it goes on to the stand to say no no he was home with me and then he was out with his friends and he came back home She tells her story.

[1251] The prosecution basically makes her look like a stupid hick who's just lying and standing by her man. And they humiliate her on the stand and basically make it seem like, well, you're just doing this for your husband.

[1252] You're not incredible.

[1253] So the jury deliberates for three days.

[1254] And on June 3rd, 1999, they find Clarence Elkins guilty of murder, two counts of rape and two counts of assault.

[1255] And he's given two life sentences.

[1256] Wow.

[1257] So when the trial ends, the prosecutor.

[1258] cuter um turns and looks at melinda elkins and says you're not going to see your husband for 54 years and she looks back at him and says you want to bet because now because she knows now that this is that he's been railroaded what a dick can i just say like that's unnecessary dude you just send him away you don't need to fucking say something like that but you have to think they think it's a child rapist and a murderer that they're sending away they think they think that they're doing she didn't do that?

[1259] Yeah, but they're, you know, it's just that thing of, like, they've cast everybody and they need to see people in this way because it's what happened.

[1260] And it's so awful.

[1261] I mean, like, a living child that's there to say this horrible thing happened to me is like, that's going to turn everybody against everyone.

[1262] It's going to get things extreme.

[1263] Yeah.

[1264] But Melinda knows and Melinda with with the weight of the world on her shoulders.

[1265] And this is, I'm, you know, all of this part of the story is because Melinda it tells her story on criminal with Phoebe Judge which by the way I thought of this joke where I can't wait to somehow someday and maybe you'll be there for it get like a bill at a restaurant that's really expensive and I'm going to go I'm Phoebe Judge and this is criminal and I might stand up when I do it.

[1266] Oh my God I love it.

[1267] That hit me as I was driving I'm like that's going to be so funny I didn't do the voice well enough about them but I'm just saying what do you think I am Phoebe Judge because this is criminal this because i do you think i you think i'm febby fucking judge because this is crick you know like phoebe judge suddenly starts talking like that yeah instead of just like this you think i fie fucking judge what do you think i am phoebe judge because this is criminal yeah okay um shout out to phoebe judge oh my god yes uh so but but that episode of criminal melinda gets to tell her own story and melinda basically is one of those women that i really love a door who the shit is on her the weight of the world is on her shoulders and she's like now I got to get busy I got to start doing something and so what she does is she starts looking up who all the sex offenders in the area were at the time of this attack that seems like something the cop should have done right but the cops just but the cops had their guy and they did their job and they went that's it and she was like well I got to be the cop now because no one's going to work on this I'm the daddy in this situation I think as a baby I'm the dad in this situation.

[1268] That's fucking right.

[1269] March to come.

[1270] Melinda stepped up and was the daddy in the situation because she not only wants to exonerate her husband who she knows is not guilty is going to jail for 54 years, but she also wants real justice for her murdered mother and for her niece.

[1271] Knowing that there is a fucking psychopath like that out there, like you got it.

[1272] Fuck, like your husband's in jail, whatever.

[1273] Like, fucking go put this person away.

[1274] And that feeling, which is also, why this would be such a great movie.

[1275] She's the only one who knows that there's a fucking child rapist murderer out there still.

[1276] Scary.

[1277] And if she doesn't do anything, it's, you know, he'll do it again.

[1278] So, what she does is she gets this list of the sex offenders in the area and she starts to track them down and find out where they hang out.

[1279] She's dog the fucking bounty hunter.

[1280] Yeah.

[1281] And then she dresses up in sexy clothes and goes to their bars that they like to hang out and flirts with them and gets in their proximity so that she can take their beer bottles put them in plastic bags and run out what like basically the story she tells on criminal with Phoebe Josh is that she would flirt with them they'd get a beer at some point the guy would get up to go to the bathroom or go somewhere else and she'd grab the fucking evidence put it in a plastic bag and run to her car and like peel out and drive away fucking bitch is Sherlock Holmes she is and she puts a shit in her freezer.

[1282] She said she had to tell her sons what she was doing.

[1283] Oh my God.

[1284] Because her freezer slowly became filled with these pieces of evidence that she knew if she saved them, she would have them to eventually test against the DNA.

[1285] They collected at the crime scene.

[1286] Yeah.

[1287] And she knew that's, she had to do something and that's what she figured out to do, which is fucking genius.

[1288] So she does this multiple times.

[1289] Puts herself in incredible danger and all police and authorities say, do not do field work.

[1290] Do not do field work if you're this person.

[1291] But Melinda's case was special because she really was all along.

[1292] She was the only one doing it, yeah.

[1293] What she, then she, she gets a new defense team for Clarence.

[1294] And because it's, and it, I'm sure wasn't that hard to do because there's no physical evidence against him.

[1295] And so she hires someone named Martin Yantt.

[1296] And the two of them start working on this list of potential suspects.

[1297] And while they do that, they find a video.

[1298] And it's a video of, I think, from what I remember, I think it was like a family wedding.

[1299] But Melinda sees her mother in the video.

[1300] And she sees a young man that's kind of around her mother.

[1301] He's like standing near her a lot, looking at her, trying to talk to her.

[1302] And just kind of like around.

[1303] And she, yeah, she gets serious creeps.

[1304] because his behavior is so odd because this guy's 27 and her mother is in her late 50s.

[1305] Not only that, but he looks a lot like Clarence.

[1306] Uh -huh.

[1307] So she, uh, they find that he, they track him down.

[1308] He's living in the area.

[1309] And Melinda starts to, she knows that her mother told him to leave her alone.

[1310] That basically said, I'm old enough to be your mother.

[1311] what are you doing?

[1312] So Melinda's like, that's motive right there.

[1313] So basically he gets questioned, but he's cooperative.

[1314] He answers all the questions, and he volunteers to give DNA.

[1315] So while all this is happening, Martin Niant tells Melinda, you should really try to, you should really get your sister, like try to communicate with your sister.

[1316] sister again.

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] Because if she can just see how clear it is that Clarence didn't do this and that the evidence really is in his favor, maybe she can like, it'll heal some really, really deep, awful wounds and you guys can, like, you need each other.

[1319] You can't do this by yourself.

[1320] And so Melinda called her sister and basically, that's all it took.

[1321] And she basically said, she basically said that, you know, like if you would just look at these facts.

[1322] But also, by this point, Brooke was 10 years old, and Brooke was starting to say, you know, they, I was saying what they wanted me to say.

[1323] And as they were, as they were one day looking through, I think it was a photo album.

[1324] I can't remember what happened.

[1325] But Brooke looked down and said, or maybe it was a picture of this suspect.

[1326] And Brooke said, well, it couldn't have been him because his eyes are blue.

[1327] and it couldn't have but Uncle Clarence because his eyes are blue and the man who attacked us his eyes were brown and like that's when she's starting as a child who you know is now a little has a little breathing room and is a little far away from it is going yeah now that I remember that that wasn't like that's not accurate yeah um so when they show Brooke a picture of this 27 year old man her face drops and like she looks terrified and both April and Melinda are convinced that they found their guy.

[1328] But when the DNA test comes back in 2001, it's not a match.

[1329] And they can't believe it.

[1330] They thought it was like the perfect thing.

[1331] But the good news is that they also tested Clarence Elkin's DNA against this DNA that they were testing, which was the samples that were found in both Judy and Brooks underwear.

[1332] and those samples matched it was one DNA um what do they call that um when the person gives it to one DNA um well sample but yeah yeah but it was profile yes it's a single profile in both so they know it's that that's the guy um but it's not this young guy that was flirting with the mother but it's also not clarence elkins yeah and so they brook officially recants her testimony in a recorded deposition and in January 2002 they put in a request for a new trial and they're denied but melinda's not deterred in 2004 with the help of the innocence project a judge agrees to further DNA tests with biological matter from vaginal swabs that were taken from both victims or from judy johnson and fingernail swabs or yeah fingernail residue um from brooks and because before only the hair was tested and so the only caveat in that the judge said that the family has to pay for it and it costs $40 ,000.

[1333] Holy shit.

[1334] So Melinda's like, we have to do this and we have to get it done.

[1335] They don't have money like that in any way.

[1336] But her and her sons decide they're going to start a website, a fundraising website called Free Clarence Elkins.

[1337] And they just put all the information about, oh my God, about everything that we've talked about so far on the website.

[1338] and they start raising money, they end up raising the money.

[1339] Oh my God.

[1340] Over $40 ,000.

[1341] They get the evidence tested.

[1342] The test reveal, it's all that same DNA profile again.

[1343] It's not Clarence.

[1344] They request, again, they request another retrial.

[1345] They're denied again.

[1346] I know.

[1347] Yeah.

[1348] Because he was convicted on the eyewitness testimony, not on DNA evidence.

[1349] But the DNA is proving with the eyewitness testimony is wrong.

[1350] Right.

[1351] So, now it's 2005, Melinda's at home reading the newspaper.

[1352] And on the front page, she reads a story about a couple in her mom's town who are arrested for raping their own children.

[1353] And as she reads it, she sees the name Tanya Brazel and Earl Mann.

[1354] And that was Judy Johnson's neighbors that Brooke walked over to their house the morning after she woke up from the attack and asked for help.

[1355] Tanya said, you wait on the porch while I make my kids breakfast.

[1356] What a fucking cunt.

[1357] And, of course, electric charges run up and down Melinda's spine because she knows this is it.

[1358] So it turns out that, and again, if anyone forgot, Tanya is the one who told April when they got to the house that she said it was uncle.

[1359] It was her uncle, not that it looked like her uncle, but that it was her uncle.

[1360] So it turns out Earl Mann, who is Tanya's Kamala husband, was a convicted sex offender who'd gone missing from his halfway house five days before the rapes and the murder of Judy Johnson.

[1361] So now Melinda is on fire with the Lord.

[1362] She's like, we know it's this guy.

[1363] She looks it up.

[1364] She finds out Earl Man is serving time in jail in the same jail that Clarence Elkins is serving time in.

[1365] She goes to the prison to visit Clarence.

[1366] and she says, you, oh, first she starts, she tries to write letters to Earl Mann so that she can get a letter back.

[1367] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1368] Like a flirty letter in a different name thinking he'll send a letter back and she'll have the DNA on the envelope.

[1369] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1370] He never responds.

[1371] So she goes and visits Clarence in jail and says, you have to get a DNA sample.

[1372] She says, do you know a guy named Earl Man?

[1373] And Clarence says, yeah, he's sitting right over there.

[1374] And Melinda looks over.

[1375] he's in the the meeting room visitor's room yeah yeah and so he's blocked so she gets up and walks over to the vending machine so she can see his face and she knows she's looking at the murder her mother's murderer and her niece is a rapist and as she's walking and she makes eye contact with him she realizes that she can't betray anything on her face because he may have seen her on the news right uh as the wife and he must know yeah that clarence elkins who clarence elkins is and why he's in that jail so she smiles at him like just oh i'm just making our contact with somebody her telling that story on criminal is pretty amazing um because she just realized it's just a woman who is coping coping coping and making shit work so that she can get like get to this end goal it's incredible the strength she must fucking have um So basically, she says, the best thing you could do is get a cigarette butt from him.

[1376] It'll leave the most on there.

[1377] You have to pick it up with a Kleenex, make sure you don't contaminate it, and you're the only person that can do this.

[1378] So basically, Clarence Elkins goes to, he sees our old man smoke a cigarette and put it out in a clean ashtray out in the yard, and he goes over with a piece of Kleenex in his hand and picks up the cigarette butt and has to hide it in a Bible for.

[1379] two weeks before he can send it to his lawyer.

[1380] So he finally is able to send that evidence to the lawyer and they test the cigarette, but they send it off for testing.

[1381] It's a match to the DNA that's found on Judy and Brooks Underwire.

[1382] So on December 15th 2005, the lawyer's petition again, only this time the district attorney calls for the immediate release and acquittal of Clarence Elkins.

[1383] He has been in jail for six and a half years.

[1384] And he, on the same day that they call for it, Clarence Elkins walks out of prison.

[1385] Now, this is the heartbreaker to me, even though it's of all this story is so awful.

[1386] Less than a year later, Clarence and Melinda file for divorce.

[1387] And when I heard that part, I was just like, this fucking woman bent over backwards for you.

[1388] I feel like, look, it's.

[1389] You don't think, it could have been.

[1390] her that she could have been anything it could have been anything all I'm saying is someone gets you the fuck out of jail yeah you do anything maybe you give up some of your bullshit yeah maybe you maybe but you know but I think like maybe she was still over it you know like maybe she didn't do it because it was her husband that she was in love with maybe she just did it because this person she's done since 18 years old and like and she knew it was wrong and it was her mother it wasn't like she was like I got to get my husband back so he can fucking cook me breakfast all the time because I got him out of prison.

[1391] No, I know.

[1392] I just feel like the effort she put in and she just didn't give up.

[1393] And she, there was, you know, in this, again, why this would be an amazing movie, there were reasons for her to give up about five different times and she just didn't do it.

[1394] Totally.

[1395] It's amazing.

[1396] But, yeah, I don't want anybody to be in an unhappy marriage.

[1397] Yes, you do.

[1398] It sounds like you do.

[1399] If I can't be happy, no one should.

[1400] Here's what's cool.

[1401] Melinda Elkins Dawson is her new name, was instrumental in getting Ohio to pass Senate Bill 262, which is also known as the post -conviction DNA law.

[1402] And that means that there need to be provisions for DNA testing post -conviction, which if the outcome could change the, it says determinative outlines.

[1403] I'm not, I'm trying to short, I'm trying to shorten something.

[1404] something that I can't even explain.

[1405] You're a lawyer.

[1406] But then also, Clarence Elkins was instrumental in getting Ohio to pass Senate Bill 77, which is also known as Ohio's Innocence Protection Act, which requires police to follow best practices for eyewitness identifications and provide incentives for the videotaping of interrogations.

[1407] Yeah, dude.

[1408] Right?

[1409] And requires DNA be preserved in homicide and sexual assault cases.

[1410] Because, you know, sometimes they go, oh, we don't have any of the DNA left.

[1411] It's solved.

[1412] We can throw the, or like he got convicted, we can throw this out.

[1413] Yeah.

[1414] So both of them, Melinda and Clarence kicked ass and actually got the law changed so that this, to prevent this from happening to people in the future and to basically adapt.

[1415] It's like our legal system, especially in that time, really needed to update itself.

[1416] Because it's like if you have this science, you can't say we never go back and test anything because there's innocent people in jail.

[1417] Yeah.

[1418] And the science is always.

[1419] you know, getting better and better.

[1420] Yeah, yeah.

[1421] And we now know that witness testimony, eyewitness testimony is just not reliable at all.

[1422] Right.

[1423] And that the police procedure, there are times where there was no, the coercion was just the beginning of it.

[1424] I mean, it's not even like purposeful coercion.

[1425] It's just wanting to understand and, you know, it just becomes something else, especially when you're interrogating a young child.

[1426] Right.

[1427] Well, right.

[1428] There's the two parts where there are, there are the people who are like we'll just beat it out of you will keep you here for 14 hours and then you'll say whatever we want there's that part that that has to end but then there is that thing of whose job it is to talk to a six year old who has to tell you a story like that and the the human impact of that and what you would then want done yeah to the person you think did that to her how do you not you know go a little bit blind and just try to get the job done totally um and Another, you know, positive is that Clarence Elkins ended up getting millions of dollars by suing, he settled with the state of Ohio for $1 .75 million.

[1429] 1 .075.

[1430] Mm -mm.

[1431] Over a million dollars.

[1432] Just million, several million dollars.

[1433] And he also settled with the city of Barberton, with the police department.

[1434] for $5 million.

[1435] Jesus.

[1436] I hope he gave a couple of those to Melinda.

[1437] I know.

[1438] I mean, for real.

[1439] And he also, you know, had bad PTSD for a long time.

[1440] I mean, I'm sure that money is, it's no victory at the end of something like that.

[1441] But that's the story of Clarence and Melinda Elkins.

[1442] Fucking shit.

[1443] God damn it.

[1444] Isn't that crazy?

[1445] Yeah.

[1446] Crazy story.

[1447] Amazing.

[1448] Amazing.

[1449] Good job.

[1450] Yeah.

[1451] What's your fucking hooray for this week?

[1452] Oh, wait.

[1453] Let's just do a yoga corner check in.

[1454] Oh, okay.

[1455] Because I want to do it because I did it again.

[1456] That's right.

[1457] And I'm very proud of myself.

[1458] But partly only because I've developed something called planter fasciitis, which is the most painful foot issue that is such a bummer.

[1459] And I was like, I have to go to yoga because I have to start stretching.

[1460] and it's all basically muscular, whatever.

[1461] So I went back to the gentle yoga.

[1462] And I swear to God, things like this happen.

[1463] When I got to the yoga class, the first stretch we did was the stretch I had been doing that helps planar fasciitis.

[1464] And she's like, we're just going to do this calf stretch against the wall.

[1465] And I was just like, God, that's weird and fateful.

[1466] He does.

[1467] It's like everything happens for a reason.

[1468] It really does.

[1469] So I'm kind of excited because now I think.

[1470] feel like the, that, uh, whatever, the beginner's ice has been broken for me. The momentum.

[1471] Yeah.

[1472] I started.

[1473] Well, it didn't do it for me. But I do have an email that I can read.

[1474] Oh, okay.

[1475] It's just as good, not better.

[1476] Great.

[1477] Um, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, Fuzzy Friends.

[1478] I heard on today's episode, you suggest that people organize Mordorino yoga classes to raise money for good causes.

[1479] Oh.

[1480] Funny thing, the Richmond, Virginia Mertorino's just organized one.

[1481] Whoa.

[1482] I set up a meetup yesterday evening and it was full.

[1483] I set it up.

[1484] It was full by this morning.

[1485] I'm setting up a second one for the wait list.

[1486] I want to get everyone a chance to participate.

[1487] I've chosen end the backlog as our good cause.

[1488] Not only do I want to offer some sort of justice for the victims, but let's face it, rape is a gateway drug to murder.

[1489] Instead of a murder -themed flow, we're going to practice a warrior -themed flow to offer up strength for victims.

[1490] Good.

[1491] And so this was sent in by Katie, who's the owner and instructor at Lunge Yoga in Richmond.

[1492] Virginia so awesome so fucking cool I love that so I'll go great I'll go this week to participate we'll keep we'll keep it going yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I have to or I'm because I'm becoming the ossified man it's really frightening it's like all my all my muscles are like well if you're not going to use us we're just going to freeze up permanently horrifying love it or leave it yeah my fucking hooray I just I've had a lot of anxiety lately and stress and unhappiness and just over social media so I took Twitter and Facebook off my phone.

[1493] Yep.

[1494] And I'm just not using them at all right now.

[1495] And it doesn't feel great yet.

[1496] It's not like I'm like, I feel amazing now.

[1497] It doesn't feel great.

[1498] It's hard.

[1499] It is hard.

[1500] And I'm bored.

[1501] But, you know, I'm glad I took a, and I called my psychiatrist to up my anxiety medications.

[1502] So I took some steps to alleviate my anxiety a little bit instead of just, you know, sitting in it.

[1503] And it's just a, it's a comfortable, familiar feeling.

[1504] but I know it's not where I want to be.

[1505] Oh, that's good.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] That's very good self -care.

[1508] Oh, I also want to say real quick, I just, I thought of this about my story that we're not making fun of or making drug addiction or heroin use, you know, a hilarious thing.

[1509] If you have a drug issue, please go get help.

[1510] Yeah, I think we made that super clear.

[1511] Okay, great.

[1512] Yeah.

[1513] For sure.

[1514] I mean, I'll tell you 95 more sad stories about how uncool drugs are.

[1515] well my my fucking hurry this week is a little weird um because i got very bad news on tuesday morning um and i haven't processed it yet but i do want to talk about it because it's my auntie ping died and she was i've known her since i was like in third grade she was my one of my mom's very best friends and she was one of the very few people that stayed with my mom all the way through her illness the entire time she was there for me and my sister she always had been she was just one of those like a real matriarch and a real badass she had a heart attack and died very suddenly she was relatively young yeah i have not processed it yet it's not like hasn't really impacted me it was so shocking that and there's been so many other things going on that I've kind of like gone okay I'm going to give myself four days and then I'm going to deal with that later but it's because like she is just one of those people that you never thought was going to be gone and so I would I guess my I would like to say this we are only here for like fucking 15 minutes I'm not kidding the older you get and when you're younger you feel like nothing's ever going to happen to you you feel you feel like you feel you like you have all this time and that you can waste your time on stupid bullshit you can waste your time on hating yourself you can waste your waste your time on hating other people i i don't recommend it um we're on a clock and if you can right now the younger you are or wherever you are if you can just understand that accept that a little bit and start living your life like you could lose the people you love the most tomorrow, or you could die tomorrow.

[1516] I think it's a smarter way to live.

[1517] Instead of getting, it makes you extend yourself to people.

[1518] It makes you a little less self -obsessed and a little more outwardly oriented.

[1519] And I just think, like, I was home for my sister's birthday.

[1520] I could have called my auntie ping and had lunch with her.

[1521] I didn't do it.

[1522] And now I'm never going to see her again.

[1523] And I regret that so much.

[1524] But that's kind of how it is.

[1525] And that's how it is with anybody.

[1526] So I love you, Auntie Ping.

[1527] Thank you for everything.

[1528] And love the people that you love and try to do better with loving the people that you don't love.

[1529] It's just better for you.

[1530] That's beautiful, Karen.

[1531] I'm so sorry for your loss.

[1532] No, thank you.

[1533] Cheers to Auntie Ping.

[1534] Yeah, she was the greatest.

[1535] She really was.

[1536] Ping Demo.

[1537] We'll miss her.

[1538] Yeah.

[1539] Amazing.

[1540] Thank you.

[1541] yeah um thanks for listening everyone stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye bye Elvis you want a cookie